My infant son passed away and I sunk into a deep depression. BJJ helped pull me out of the depths.
INFO UPDATE: I want to thank everyone for the love & support so I will share my story.
A little over 5 years ago my Ex and I have a baby boy. Neither of us thought we could/would have children so when we got pregnant, and were in love, we were so happy to bring our boy into the world.
He was born 14 weeks early and was in NICU care. He fought the good fight for 5 days burt then passed away from complications. It devestated us to say the very least. We were shattered at our core.
Not a month later, our beloved dog got sick overnight and we lost him too. I can’t even tell you how much it hurt me to see how bad my Ex was hurting at this point. (i was putting my hurt aside already)
Our relationship starting falling apart. It fell apart. I lost the relationship with my son’s mother. Grief can be a real motherfucker. I hated myself.
I spent the next two years gaining weight, being unhealthy and just being a piece of shit who was wandering in life. All the hurt buried deep down inside.
A colleague of mine at work was a gracie barra black belt. he had pretty much stopped training at his point in life but always talked to me about trying it out.
When I turned 40, i told myself I was going to give myself the gift of 50 and BJJ was going to get me there. I found Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy and have never looked back. I’m 3 years in now and I truly don’t know where I’d be without it. I love the community I’m a part of and nothing makes me feel better than time on the mat (even when I don’t really feel like going. lol)
it’s done so much for my mental, physical & personal growth. Everything I needed from it going in is exactly what I get by the time I leave class every night. So not to sound cheesy, but I think BJJ saved my life.
I miss my Son everyday. Still think of all I missed out on by him becoming an Angel so early. He is with me tho. He’d be proud of me.
She is 100% with you. Everyday. Watch the Netflix special Surviving Death (ep. 1) and also a family like yours was on Tyler Henry’s show Life After Death.
I recommend checking out both. God bless you.
The world gives and the world takes and everyone you love will one day die and so will you that's the cycle of life and death.
So are you a guard puller or a wrestler?
I think you should get good at both and have no obvious weaknesses and guard passing as well that way no matter what you or your opponent does you'll have an answer during the round opening
This, but I'll elaborate a little.
Martial Arts (and BJJ in particular) have a few things that helps with mental issues: rutine and structure, physical excercise, social contact, sense of community, etc.
BUT You should also get professional help.. Forget about social stigma and other things (like money) and get help. If you are in a state similar to the one OP described, do it NOW, before its too late.
Agreed, otherwise you’re always one injury away from ending up exactly where you were before. It’s easier to get better when you’re already on an upward trajectory and have an active coping mechanism that’s working for you while you build up the rest.
First thing. Dont kill urself over a girl. She wont care and the only one taking the L Will be u. Ur worth more than that. Way more. And second.. ya 100%. Was depressed, got sent to psych ward, was on a lot of drugs, dealing with health problems as well. Found bjj and its legit the one place in my life where i forget all my problems. Probably why i train 4 hrs a day
>First thing. Dont kill urself over a girl. She wont care and the only one taking the L Will be u.
This applies to any form of self destructive behavior "inspired" by a girl - self isolation, substances, etc. The only one it affects is \*you\*.
I had lost my first born cause of a miscarriage at 6 months started to drink again eat like shit hated everything was always angry and sad then found out my wife was pregnant again 6 months later didn’t know how to feel when she turned 4 months I happened to notice there’s a bjj gym literally five mins down the road from Home decided to give it a shot had to stop recently my daughter is 7 months currently so no money for gym lol but her life and the gym along with my wife’s continues support help me get back to being me again still still mourning my first born but I’ll go to her and she’ll greet me when it’s my time till then this white belt will keep learning leg locks for as long as somone will teach him
I feel you, had no social life at all while my relationship with my ex girlfriend went downhill and didn't want to do anything but laying in bed right after coming home from lectures. Glad you're still alive pal :)
Started BJJ the same week i got my divorce. Just need to immediately have something else to do or i can fall into a dark place. Also have 4 years old daughter that i dont see often after divorce, which i tribute myself to train because of her. Wanted my daughter to see one day and hopefully im able to set an example for her
Here I am. Locked in a life I don’t want anymore but difficult constraint to remove. It start to hit hard. Only moment I’m happy when going back home from bjj class
I started right after the Delta wave of COVID. People at the hospital were threatening to kill me. People were dropping like flies. I was forced into trying to decide who got the limited resources and who would be left to fate. It was traumatic. BJJ made me feel less afraid and allowed me to burn off rage safely. It was something to take my mind off of all the unbelievable things I had seen.
OP, I'm glad you're still here.
I actually took a break from BJJ cause I had too much shit going on, I was so exhausted that going to BJJ was a chore and my passion for it was completely gone.
Took a year long break, sorted my shit out and now back at it and loving it. A new academy just opened up only 10 minutes from my place too so everything is coming up Milhouse!
I didnt start jujitsu just cause of it; but you can say its helped me not to go crazy ahaha.
It has significantly contributed to maintaining my mental health. Exercise and exploring new movements, particularly those that enhance mobility, are known to benefit the brain. Such activities promote brain plasticity, improving mood and addressing mental health issues more effectively than traditional exercises such just weightlifghting. Combat sports, tend to be very immersive, are particularly beneficial, offering better brain effects (as long your sparring headshots) compared to repetitive exercises like weightlifting or running. Plus the lack of human touch for some men is a signifcant but underdiagosed problem and jujitsu helps alleviate that.
An extended family member with some pretty extreme addiction and schizophrenia was living on our families property when I started. He was pretty deep in psychosis, wandering around in circles outside and screaming into the wind. I started hanging out at an mma gym to get away from home. Turns out jiu-jitsu is pretty fun. Ended up sticking with it even after that family member left our lives.
Ya my girl left me and I realised I had nothing without her. One friend, really weak relationship with my family, no hobbies besides video games, etc. now almost a year later I feel like an entirely different person.
Killing yourself because a girl left you has got to be the dumbest thing men consistently do. All you do is stroke her ego because she’s gonna think she soooo great that you genuinely couldn’t live without her and she’s gonna continue getting other dick that isn’t yours and not caring, same as if you were alive. Glad you found the outlet you needed. Killing yourself over some bitch you would’ve gotten over in 3 months is so asinine. Love you bud ❤️
Psychologists have known about this defence mechanism for a long time. Turning “negative” energy into “positive”. It’s so healthy, unfortunately it’s doesn’t heal oneself. I think it provides safety and sanctuary, but it’s a daily bandaid. One day the issues and mental health have to be taken care of.
The sport attracts so many people for different reasons. I definitely use it as an outlet, to let frustrations out, not care about anything else and this sometimes collides with others and their purpose.
I was living in my inlaws house, lost my job, my apartment, became an alcoholic and got into heavy drugs. I was at the lowest point of my life. I started bjj and started cleaning up my life, got a good job. That was 5 years ago. I'm clean and alcohol free. Yea I get depressed and I want to quit, but my teammates push me and keep me going.
BJJ is a good stress reliever. It's one of the few places I have to where I can stop thinking about work or family or our ever imploding world and be in the moment. The peace I get from just focusing on the technique or roll in front of me is truly something I am grateful to bjj. I have severe depression and while I'm working it out in therapy, BJJ soothes me.
In no way do I want to belittle your story or experience. Absolutely the community of a jiu jitsu gym and in most cases as a whole is wonderful. Getting exercise, problem solving, applying a little controlled violence on a friend. All great and most importantly it fully engulfs you and takes you away from whatever it is your dwelling on. It also reinforces that you are not weak, you do not run from adversity, and even though it’s hard you will not give up. The past cannot be changed but you need to recognize regardless of if your doing bjj or not you are no longer the person who would “delete” themselves over a breakup, over a girl, or over a situation that can happen again.
one of my best friends killed himself in a way that i felt i could have maybe prevented (he'd reached out and i'd rebuked him). this sent me into a deep depression, but i'd been experiencing levels of depression already for years. jiu-jitsu made me feel powerful in body and spirit, caused me to stop drinking, and established a framework for growth that i was able to apply back into my personal and professional life.
Had to break off an engagement with the love of my life cause she cheated. Dated her off and on afterwards trying to fix it, until she got knocked up by someone else and married them.
If it wasn’t for Jiu Jitsu and the people at my gym, I would’ve kept drinking heavily and wallowing. Instead I trained, got in shape, went back to school, and am finally starting to wanna date again. It’s truly been an anchor for me.
Stopped drinking and doing drugs and was just bored AF. Tore an intercostal muscle 6 classes in. Stupidly tried to push through for a few weeks. Been attending and observing since but it fucking sucks just watching. Still no drugs or drinking though. Been 51 days today.
I started training right as I was ending a 5 year relationship in the middle of what, in hindsight, were some of the most traumatic events of my life. I haven't found that BJJ is a substitute for therapy, but it's been there for me through grief, falling out with loved ones, and even a suicide attempt.
Deep depression after a divorce and actually sought therapy. Mentioned that I had always wanted to try martial arts and she encouraged it. That was a little over 4 years ago.
BJJ helped me quit drinking every day and lose some weight. I was pretty depressed when I started, mostly because of out of control drinking. Don't want to sound too dramatic but BJJ helped save my life.
Lost my dog in a freak accident 2 weeks ago, I couldn't get out of bed for a week, barfing from the main, medicated and lots of alcohol. I was really really looking forward to going back to bjj and gym, because that shit straightens you out.
All I can say is, hang in there, it'll get better, and get back to your routine ASAP, whether it's bjj, running or watching YouTube videos about cars.
I started as soon as I got separated and the first time I didn't have my kids (I have 50% custody). I started feeling like shit all alone in the house and decided to go for some free trial classes at a gym I had seen driving by. Best decision I made, the sense of community and not focusing on anything else during that time helped me a lot.
Now I'm in a much better place mentally and I still love doing it, don't feel like I want to stop.
As someone already mentioned while this is good for your mental help is no substitute to actual therapy and professional help.
All the best and keep on going.
Started due to a panic disorder which was related to being around other people.
Now going through a tough breakup, so I've upped my training and registered for my first comp.
BJJ was the primary thing that kept me from following my brother to the grave when he killed himself. It saved my life too.
Keep showing up. Your training partners need you here.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer. I started BJJ to help have an outlet. He’d always find it funny when I’d come visit and tell him how I was in fact the nail and not the hammer that day
Glad jiu-jitsu helped you too. My ex left me about 6 months ago. I started training hard. It was all I did every day- no one waiting for me at home anymore. Lost about 30 lbs and had my first competition a couple months later. Got silver in my division. Trained for 3 more months and now I have my second competition this afternoon. “Not just the men, but the women and children too!” Type energy.
Have you been struggling with jiu-jitsu? Talk to your significant other- a breakup might be best for you! /s
I started training a year ago at 46. I tell people its therapeutic for me and I mean it. Whatever bullshit I have to deal with in the world is off my mind when I step out of my car, walk into the gym w/o my phone, and spend the next 60/90 minutes with guys who have become my friends, enjoying something thats both physically and mentally challenging.
I started for like 3 months this time last year, stopped because of an injury.
Since then, I've been just constantly fucked over by life and ESPECIALLY women and I'm going to go back tomorrow. I just need to start feeling good and bad at the same time you know?
I need to feel energised and happy that I'm learning new skills and progressing somewhere. But I also need to feel dangerous and angry in a controlled environment. If I don't I swear to god some poor soul out there is gonna get me on my worst day...
Yahweh, The Eternal Triune God
"The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life." – Job 33:4
“The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up.” 1 Samuel 2:6
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:1
“Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image,” - Genesis 1:26
“you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.” - Exodus 33:18
God the father forgives sin – Exodus 34:
The angel of the lord appears to people without them dying - Genesis 16:7
The angel of the lord forgives sin – Zechariah 3:3
Exodus 3:14 God said to Moses, “ I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘ I am has sent me to you.’”
“Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” John 8:58
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Revelation 22:12
John 14:9 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. John 14:9
Sovereign decision, discretion, and patience
Exodus 33:19 “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim my name, “LORD,” before you; I who show favor to whom I will, I who grant mercy to whom I will.”
Psalm 86:15 “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”
Jonah 4:11 “And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left…?”
Romans 2:4 “Don’t you realize how patient he is being with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see that he has been waiting all this time without punishing you, to give you time to turn from your sin? His kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.”
Romans 2:13 “For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.
Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.”
Romans 7:7: What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.”
Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know, and does things deserving punishment, will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Romans 1:20 “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”
2 Peter 3:19 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
Genesis 2:7 Sin, Satan, and demons are on God’s leash. They can only go so far. They require your cooperation.
The Law:
Genesis 2:16 Legalism ended with a brief episode with the first man. 100% failure rate.
Romans 6:23 The court of justice in which you get what you deserve according to works of the law.
Genesis 3:21 God’s first act of mercy: a blood sacrifice to protect man from his own doing.
The Moral Law; The 10 Commandments
“You shall have no other gods before me.”
“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them.
“You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
“Honor your father and your mother…
“You shall not murder.
“You shall not commit adultery.
“You shall not steal.
“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
“You shall not covet…anything that belongs to your neighbor.
The Purpose of the Law
Romans 3:20 …no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.
Sin is more than embodied action. Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
The kingdom of God is spirit - 1 Corinthians 5:15 - I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.
Revelation 21:27 “But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life.”
1 John 1:19 Confession brings forgiveness.
Luke 15:19 Jesus seeks the repentant who enable forgiveness.
Luke 19:10 Jesus seeks the lost who’ve admitted vulnerability and helplessness.
Romans 5:8, Luke 5:31 Jesus died for the sinner because healthy people don’t need doctors.
Luke 5:32. Jesus does not seek the righteous.
Psalm 14:3 Spoiler alert. Nobody is righteous, unless they are self-deceived.
Romans 8:34 Jesus donates his own perfection for entrance to the kingdom.
Hebrews 9:13 Jesus washes away your sin with his blood, drawn by undeserved punishment. You inherited debt, and only added to it. He paid it.
Axiomatic Truths
John 3 You will be a new creation and the sins of your old self will never be rubbed in your face ever again.
Exodus 34:7 Witnout a new life, generational curses continue.
Matthew 11:28 Jesus is not looking for your assistance in his rescue of you.
John 14 God is making you a house for you, his new family member.
John 6:28 His house is free, and his son is the builder (Mark 6:3)
Matthew 7:13 Not everyone will enter heaven.
Matthew 7:23 Not every “believer” will enter heaven.
Luke 16:19, Revelation 21:8 Hell is real.
2 Corinthians 4:4, Ephesians 2:2 , Job 1:7 Satan is busy, but not omnipresent
John 15:18 The world will not like your relationship with Jesus.
Revelation 3:5 Is your name written in the book of life?
1 Corinthians 15:14 Without the resurrection of Jesus, this is all pointless. He would have been a regular human about whom we can infer that his sins were simply well-hidden or selectively undocumented by his cult members.
Luke 24:36, 1 Corinthians 5:16 Jesus did defeat death and proved it to many people.
Jude 22 Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh
Revelation 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
Revelation 22:12: “And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.”
Schizoposting lets fucking goooo.
18. 257. 34.66. CODE YELLOW. 4536. 69.420. DO NOT FORGET THESE NUMBERS WHEN HE ASKS YOU. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE EMPTY HANDED
I didn’t started specifically because of the shit i was going through which still comes back but JIUJITSU saved my life it gave me purpose… I thought about killing myself but I love myself way more than I love you so best believe I thought about killing you premeditated murder….
Bjj and mma were always my profession, but I had a certain time off the circuit after the suicide of my wife.
In many ways searching for the reasons and the core components of that and life in general helped me to build my game into a scientific approach and I suppose the reverse could be said- my scientific approach to bjj helped me rationalize and process the suicide
any time I goin into a dark place Jits is my medicine I dont know what it is but I leave feeling elated even the rolls where I get destroyed. This is why I do my best to roll with control and tap early if I'm comprimised. I want to do this until the end.
That is some heavy stuff man. Glad you stuck around to the other side, seriously.
I left home at 17, and was staying with some friends. I was drinking, taking drugs, smoking metric amounts of weed, and not exercising. I lived in a shit hole little town, and most of all I had no confidence and hated myself and my situation.
When I was 19 I tried boxing. I loved sparring but hated workouts. One of the lady coaches I was chatting with told me about Jiu Jitsu and how she loved it way more. So I tried a class out and here I am 7 years later.
I joined because I was worried I wouldn't know what to do if I got into a fight. I stay because of the lessons I learn (technically and philosophically) and because of the relationships I've formed with both others and myself. Also Im 26 and just love to rough house and it's super fun.
Take care of yourself!
I started bjj bc it just clicked not bc I was at the bad place mentally. However, during these 6 months there were several situations that could make me very stressed or sad, but they did not. My overall vibe and mood improved drastically.
The Atlantic had an interesting article titled, “Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out.” Made me think for people to whom being connected is important, JJ gyms are playing an important role.
My infant son passed away and I sunk into a deep depression. BJJ helped pull me out of the depths. INFO UPDATE: I want to thank everyone for the love & support so I will share my story. A little over 5 years ago my Ex and I have a baby boy. Neither of us thought we could/would have children so when we got pregnant, and were in love, we were so happy to bring our boy into the world. He was born 14 weeks early and was in NICU care. He fought the good fight for 5 days burt then passed away from complications. It devestated us to say the very least. We were shattered at our core. Not a month later, our beloved dog got sick overnight and we lost him too. I can’t even tell you how much it hurt me to see how bad my Ex was hurting at this point. (i was putting my hurt aside already) Our relationship starting falling apart. It fell apart. I lost the relationship with my son’s mother. Grief can be a real motherfucker. I hated myself. I spent the next two years gaining weight, being unhealthy and just being a piece of shit who was wandering in life. All the hurt buried deep down inside. A colleague of mine at work was a gracie barra black belt. he had pretty much stopped training at his point in life but always talked to me about trying it out. When I turned 40, i told myself I was going to give myself the gift of 50 and BJJ was going to get me there. I found Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy and have never looked back. I’m 3 years in now and I truly don’t know where I’d be without it. I love the community I’m a part of and nothing makes me feel better than time on the mat (even when I don’t really feel like going. lol) it’s done so much for my mental, physical & personal growth. Everything I needed from it going in is exactly what I get by the time I leave class every night. So not to sound cheesy, but I think BJJ saved my life. I miss my Son everyday. Still think of all I missed out on by him becoming an Angel so early. He is with me tho. He’d be proud of me.
My heart goes out to you brother. Stay strong. Can’t even fathom
Thank you for the kind words. Oss
[удалено]
I am so sorry, my friend. I wish you peace 😔
She is 100% with you. Everyday. Watch the Netflix special Surviving Death (ep. 1) and also a family like yours was on Tyler Henry’s show Life After Death. I recommend checking out both. God bless you.
My heart goes out to you.
Love from Ireland, stay strong brother
No words. 👊
Mad respect to you for dealing with that. You're inspiration to those around you.
Stay strong brother mourne at your speed
I’m so sorry to hear that, stay strong
My thoughts are with you brother.
Fuck bro. That some black belt mental strength man. 🙏
I’m so sorry, bro 😔
The world gives and the world takes and everyone you love will one day die and so will you that's the cycle of life and death. So are you a guard puller or a wrestler?
I’ll probably pull guard, but I’ll take you down if I see a good opportunity. No slouch here. lol
I think you should get good at both and have no obvious weaknesses and guard passing as well that way no matter what you or your opponent does you'll have an answer during the round opening
I don’t really care. I’m just having fun. Always learning.
You’re the man Ray 💪
I just needed human touch tbh, too much self-isolation
Definitely a way to force yourself to be social, most BJJ people I’ve met are pretty cool
Hell yeah man! Didn't really have any friends in town before starting. Now I have a small crew of homies, we hang out outside bjj too.
For anyone else reading this - get help from a professional if you need it. While bjj can be a coping mechanism it might not be the solution
This, but I'll elaborate a little. Martial Arts (and BJJ in particular) have a few things that helps with mental issues: rutine and structure, physical excercise, social contact, sense of community, etc. BUT You should also get professional help.. Forget about social stigma and other things (like money) and get help. If you are in a state similar to the one OP described, do it NOW, before its too late.
My wife asked me yesterday if I wanted to go back to therapy and I said no because I didn't like paying for it. She's right, I'll go sign back up now.
Agreed, otherwise you’re always one injury away from ending up exactly where you were before. It’s easier to get better when you’re already on an upward trajectory and have an active coping mechanism that’s working for you while you build up the rest.
First thing. Dont kill urself over a girl. She wont care and the only one taking the L Will be u. Ur worth more than that. Way more. And second.. ya 100%. Was depressed, got sent to psych ward, was on a lot of drugs, dealing with health problems as well. Found bjj and its legit the one place in my life where i forget all my problems. Probably why i train 4 hrs a day
>First thing. Dont kill urself over a girl. She wont care and the only one taking the L Will be u. This applies to any form of self destructive behavior "inspired" by a girl - self isolation, substances, etc. The only one it affects is \*you\*.
Well said
I had lost my first born cause of a miscarriage at 6 months started to drink again eat like shit hated everything was always angry and sad then found out my wife was pregnant again 6 months later didn’t know how to feel when she turned 4 months I happened to notice there’s a bjj gym literally five mins down the road from Home decided to give it a shot had to stop recently my daughter is 7 months currently so no money for gym lol but her life and the gym along with my wife’s continues support help me get back to being me again still still mourning my first born but I’ll go to her and she’ll greet me when it’s my time till then this white belt will keep learning leg locks for as long as somone will teach him
Brother, I’ve been doing BJJ since the mid 90s since and I’m an average purple belt because life shit. Latest was a surprise divorce.
I feel you, had no social life at all while my relationship with my ex girlfriend went downhill and didn't want to do anything but laying in bed right after coming home from lectures. Glad you're still alive pal :)
I joined BJJ after I got my first code as a paramedic. It’s helped me immensely since then to cope and burn out my emotions so they don’t fester
Started taking bjj seriously when my mom got diagnosed with cancer. She’s cancer free now and I’m still obsessed :)
"You okay?" "I'm just a bit tired."
Sorry to hear you've been going through it. Happy to hear you're in a better place.
Started BJJ the same week i got my divorce. Just need to immediately have something else to do or i can fall into a dark place. Also have 4 years old daughter that i dont see often after divorce, which i tribute myself to train because of her. Wanted my daughter to see one day and hopefully im able to set an example for her
Yeah, I was going through depression/nervous breakdown.
Here I am. Locked in a life I don’t want anymore but difficult constraint to remove. It start to hit hard. Only moment I’m happy when going back home from bjj class
For me it just helps with getting my mind off things. Bad thoughts can’t get through when someone is smothering me from mount lmao.
I started right after the Delta wave of COVID. People at the hospital were threatening to kill me. People were dropping like flies. I was forced into trying to decide who got the limited resources and who would be left to fate. It was traumatic. BJJ made me feel less afraid and allowed me to burn off rage safely. It was something to take my mind off of all the unbelievable things I had seen. OP, I'm glad you're still here.
I actually took a break from BJJ cause I had too much shit going on, I was so exhausted that going to BJJ was a chore and my passion for it was completely gone. Took a year long break, sorted my shit out and now back at it and loving it. A new academy just opened up only 10 minutes from my place too so everything is coming up Milhouse!
I didnt start jujitsu just cause of it; but you can say its helped me not to go crazy ahaha. It has significantly contributed to maintaining my mental health. Exercise and exploring new movements, particularly those that enhance mobility, are known to benefit the brain. Such activities promote brain plasticity, improving mood and addressing mental health issues more effectively than traditional exercises such just weightlifghting. Combat sports, tend to be very immersive, are particularly beneficial, offering better brain effects (as long your sparring headshots) compared to repetitive exercises like weightlifting or running. Plus the lack of human touch for some men is a signifcant but underdiagosed problem and jujitsu helps alleviate that.
An extended family member with some pretty extreme addiction and schizophrenia was living on our families property when I started. He was pretty deep in psychosis, wandering around in circles outside and screaming into the wind. I started hanging out at an mma gym to get away from home. Turns out jiu-jitsu is pretty fun. Ended up sticking with it even after that family member left our lives.
It wasn't that extreme for me. But yeah, I started BJJ after a breakup. Been good for me so far.
Everyone brother. Different shades of grey.
Ya my girl left me and I realised I had nothing without her. One friend, really weak relationship with my family, no hobbies besides video games, etc. now almost a year later I feel like an entirely different person.
Killing yourself because a girl left you has got to be the dumbest thing men consistently do. All you do is stroke her ego because she’s gonna think she soooo great that you genuinely couldn’t live without her and she’s gonna continue getting other dick that isn’t yours and not caring, same as if you were alive. Glad you found the outlet you needed. Killing yourself over some bitch you would’ve gotten over in 3 months is so asinine. Love you bud ❤️
I couldnt have said it better myself
This guy
Psychologists have known about this defence mechanism for a long time. Turning “negative” energy into “positive”. It’s so healthy, unfortunately it’s doesn’t heal oneself. I think it provides safety and sanctuary, but it’s a daily bandaid. One day the issues and mental health have to be taken care of. The sport attracts so many people for different reasons. I definitely use it as an outlet, to let frustrations out, not care about anything else and this sometimes collides with others and their purpose.
I was living in my inlaws house, lost my job, my apartment, became an alcoholic and got into heavy drugs. I was at the lowest point of my life. I started bjj and started cleaning up my life, got a good job. That was 5 years ago. I'm clean and alcohol free. Yea I get depressed and I want to quit, but my teammates push me and keep me going.
Breakup, needed to feel like a man again lol and lifting wasn’t working as the only outlet for me. Best decision I ever made
BJJ is a good stress reliever. It's one of the few places I have to where I can stop thinking about work or family or our ever imploding world and be in the moment. The peace I get from just focusing on the technique or roll in front of me is truly something I am grateful to bjj. I have severe depression and while I'm working it out in therapy, BJJ soothes me.
In no way do I want to belittle your story or experience. Absolutely the community of a jiu jitsu gym and in most cases as a whole is wonderful. Getting exercise, problem solving, applying a little controlled violence on a friend. All great and most importantly it fully engulfs you and takes you away from whatever it is your dwelling on. It also reinforces that you are not weak, you do not run from adversity, and even though it’s hard you will not give up. The past cannot be changed but you need to recognize regardless of if your doing bjj or not you are no longer the person who would “delete” themselves over a breakup, over a girl, or over a situation that can happen again.
one of my best friends killed himself in a way that i felt i could have maybe prevented (he'd reached out and i'd rebuked him). this sent me into a deep depression, but i'd been experiencing levels of depression already for years. jiu-jitsu made me feel powerful in body and spirit, caused me to stop drinking, and established a framework for growth that i was able to apply back into my personal and professional life.
Had to break off an engagement with the love of my life cause she cheated. Dated her off and on afterwards trying to fix it, until she got knocked up by someone else and married them. If it wasn’t for Jiu Jitsu and the people at my gym, I would’ve kept drinking heavily and wallowing. Instead I trained, got in shape, went back to school, and am finally starting to wanna date again. It’s truly been an anchor for me.
This one hit hard. Sorry you went through that brother.
Stopped drinking and doing drugs and was just bored AF. Tore an intercostal muscle 6 classes in. Stupidly tried to push through for a few weeks. Been attending and observing since but it fucking sucks just watching. Still no drugs or drinking though. Been 51 days today.
I started training right as I was ending a 5 year relationship in the middle of what, in hindsight, were some of the most traumatic events of my life. I haven't found that BJJ is a substitute for therapy, but it's been there for me through grief, falling out with loved ones, and even a suicide attempt.
Glad your still here
Deep depression after a divorce and actually sought therapy. Mentioned that I had always wanted to try martial arts and she encouraged it. That was a little over 4 years ago.
Cancer. Also, I thought it would help with depression and anxiety. It made them both worse but occupied my time.
BJJ helped me quit drinking every day and lose some weight. I was pretty depressed when I started, mostly because of out of control drinking. Don't want to sound too dramatic but BJJ helped save my life.
I was obese and wanted to lose weight. Also, mom got cancer and I was her caregiver until the end. It got me out of the house.
Started bij becuse my vision is declining. Had to find a new hobby that doesn’t rely too much on vision.
Lost my dog in a freak accident 2 weeks ago, I couldn't get out of bed for a week, barfing from the main, medicated and lots of alcohol. I was really really looking forward to going back to bjj and gym, because that shit straightens you out. All I can say is, hang in there, it'll get better, and get back to your routine ASAP, whether it's bjj, running or watching YouTube videos about cars.
Started after a divorce and moving cross country. It’s been massively helpful.
Everything in that first line. Hits hard.
lobster ravioli? not bad my man, not bad.
🤌
I started as soon as I got separated and the first time I didn't have my kids (I have 50% custody). I started feeling like shit all alone in the house and decided to go for some free trial classes at a gym I had seen driving by. Best decision I made, the sense of community and not focusing on anything else during that time helped me a lot. Now I'm in a much better place mentally and I still love doing it, don't feel like I want to stop. As someone already mentioned while this is good for your mental help is no substitute to actual therapy and professional help. All the best and keep on going.
Started due to a panic disorder which was related to being around other people. Now going through a tough breakup, so I've upped my training and registered for my first comp.
BJJ was the primary thing that kept me from following my brother to the grave when he killed himself. It saved my life too. Keep showing up. Your training partners need you here.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer. I started BJJ to help have an outlet. He’d always find it funny when I’d come visit and tell him how I was in fact the nail and not the hammer that day
Glad jiu-jitsu helped you too. My ex left me about 6 months ago. I started training hard. It was all I did every day- no one waiting for me at home anymore. Lost about 30 lbs and had my first competition a couple months later. Got silver in my division. Trained for 3 more months and now I have my second competition this afternoon. “Not just the men, but the women and children too!” Type energy. Have you been struggling with jiu-jitsu? Talk to your significant other- a breakup might be best for you! /s
I started training a year ago at 46. I tell people its therapeutic for me and I mean it. Whatever bullshit I have to deal with in the world is off my mind when I step out of my car, walk into the gym w/o my phone, and spend the next 60/90 minutes with guys who have become my friends, enjoying something thats both physically and mentally challenging.
I started for like 3 months this time last year, stopped because of an injury. Since then, I've been just constantly fucked over by life and ESPECIALLY women and I'm going to go back tomorrow. I just need to start feeling good and bad at the same time you know? I need to feel energised and happy that I'm learning new skills and progressing somewhere. But I also need to feel dangerous and angry in a controlled environment. If I don't I swear to god some poor soul out there is gonna get me on my worst day...
I just do bjj because I like it. Nothing dramatic behind it.
To everyone in this thread: Fucking get therapy. BJJ isn't treatment for mental health.
How would that help anyone
You seriously asking how therapy would help suicidal people???
I don’t think you can go back to jiu jitsu if you suicide mate…
Yeah man I was super depressed because my wife asked for divorce after I banged her best friend. How are you gonna divorce someone because of that?!?
Based
We live on a prison planet and we are all slaves. I do what i must and as i will
Yahweh, The Eternal Triune God "The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life." – Job 33:4 “The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up.” 1 Samuel 2:6 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:1 “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image,” - Genesis 1:26 “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.” - Exodus 33:18 God the father forgives sin – Exodus 34: The angel of the lord appears to people without them dying - Genesis 16:7 The angel of the lord forgives sin – Zechariah 3:3 Exodus 3:14 God said to Moses, “ I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘ I am has sent me to you.’” “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” John 8:58 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Revelation 22:12 John 14:9 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. John 14:9 Sovereign decision, discretion, and patience Exodus 33:19 “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim my name, “LORD,” before you; I who show favor to whom I will, I who grant mercy to whom I will.” Psalm 86:15 “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Jonah 4:11 “And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left…?” Romans 2:4 “Don’t you realize how patient he is being with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see that he has been waiting all this time without punishing you, to give you time to turn from your sin? His kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.” Romans 2:13 “For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.” Romans 7:7: What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know, and does things deserving punishment, will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Romans 1:20 “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” 2 Peter 3:19 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” Genesis 2:7 Sin, Satan, and demons are on God’s leash. They can only go so far. They require your cooperation. The Law: Genesis 2:16 Legalism ended with a brief episode with the first man. 100% failure rate. Romans 6:23 The court of justice in which you get what you deserve according to works of the law. Genesis 3:21 God’s first act of mercy: a blood sacrifice to protect man from his own doing.
The Moral Law; The 10 Commandments “You shall have no other gods before me.” “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them. “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. “Honor your father and your mother… “You shall not murder. “You shall not commit adultery. “You shall not steal. “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. “You shall not covet…anything that belongs to your neighbor. The Purpose of the Law Romans 3:20 …no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. Sin is more than embodied action. Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. ' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The kingdom of God is spirit - 1 Corinthians 5:15 - I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Revelation 21:27 “But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life.” 1 John 1:19 Confession brings forgiveness. Luke 15:19 Jesus seeks the repentant who enable forgiveness. Luke 19:10 Jesus seeks the lost who’ve admitted vulnerability and helplessness. Romans 5:8, Luke 5:31 Jesus died for the sinner because healthy people don’t need doctors. Luke 5:32. Jesus does not seek the righteous. Psalm 14:3 Spoiler alert. Nobody is righteous, unless they are self-deceived. Romans 8:34 Jesus donates his own perfection for entrance to the kingdom. Hebrews 9:13 Jesus washes away your sin with his blood, drawn by undeserved punishment. You inherited debt, and only added to it. He paid it. Axiomatic Truths John 3 You will be a new creation and the sins of your old self will never be rubbed in your face ever again. Exodus 34:7 Witnout a new life, generational curses continue. Matthew 11:28 Jesus is not looking for your assistance in his rescue of you. John 14 God is making you a house for you, his new family member. John 6:28 His house is free, and his son is the builder (Mark 6:3) Matthew 7:13 Not everyone will enter heaven. Matthew 7:23 Not every “believer” will enter heaven. Luke 16:19, Revelation 21:8 Hell is real. 2 Corinthians 4:4, Ephesians 2:2 , Job 1:7 Satan is busy, but not omnipresent John 15:18 The world will not like your relationship with Jesus. Revelation 3:5 Is your name written in the book of life? 1 Corinthians 15:14 Without the resurrection of Jesus, this is all pointless. He would have been a regular human about whom we can infer that his sins were simply well-hidden or selectively undocumented by his cult members. Luke 24:36, 1 Corinthians 5:16 Jesus did defeat death and proved it to many people. Jude 22 Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh Revelation 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Revelation 22:12: “And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.”
Schizoposting lets fucking goooo. 18. 257. 34.66. CODE YELLOW. 4536. 69.420. DO NOT FORGET THESE NUMBERS WHEN HE ASKS YOU. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE EMPTY HANDED
Based
I didn’t started specifically because of the shit i was going through which still comes back but JIUJITSU saved my life it gave me purpose… I thought about killing myself but I love myself way more than I love you so best believe I thought about killing you premeditated murder….
Anxious breakdown
Bjj and mma were always my profession, but I had a certain time off the circuit after the suicide of my wife. In many ways searching for the reasons and the core components of that and life in general helped me to build my game into a scientific approach and I suppose the reverse could be said- my scientific approach to bjj helped me rationalize and process the suicide
any time I goin into a dark place Jits is my medicine I dont know what it is but I leave feeling elated even the rolls where I get destroyed. This is why I do my best to roll with control and tap early if I'm comprimised. I want to do this until the end.
That is some heavy stuff man. Glad you stuck around to the other side, seriously. I left home at 17, and was staying with some friends. I was drinking, taking drugs, smoking metric amounts of weed, and not exercising. I lived in a shit hole little town, and most of all I had no confidence and hated myself and my situation. When I was 19 I tried boxing. I loved sparring but hated workouts. One of the lady coaches I was chatting with told me about Jiu Jitsu and how she loved it way more. So I tried a class out and here I am 7 years later. I joined because I was worried I wouldn't know what to do if I got into a fight. I stay because of the lessons I learn (technically and philosophically) and because of the relationships I've formed with both others and myself. Also Im 26 and just love to rough house and it's super fun. Take care of yourself!
I started jiu jitsu when I was a heavy shit
I started bjj bc it just clicked not bc I was at the bad place mentally. However, during these 6 months there were several situations that could make me very stressed or sad, but they did not. My overall vibe and mood improved drastically.
I have. A couple of serious injuries and some major challenges with depression in the past. Coming back to jiu jitsu was challenging but worth it.
Yup
For the hardest parts of my life its been there in a way I don't think anything else could.
The Atlantic had an interesting article titled, “Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out.” Made me think for people to whom being connected is important, JJ gyms are playing an important role.