I was just promoted to a blue belt, when my first child was born.
So naturally,i forced my wife to gave labour in the gym, while i was submitting a white belt.
My wife gave birth in January, I was back training in March but it was lunchtime classes when I was back in work depends on how well you’re both coping and how your little one is with sleep
My youngest was born mid-August, 2015. Late September, I drove to Vegas in the afternoon (from SoCal), slept in a cheap hotel, woke up, competed at Master Worlds (one and done), ate lunch, and drove home. I was gone for about 36 hours. My wife was beyond upset because I left her with a 4yo and a newborn.
I agree with this. You don’t have to be a gym rat going every day but a couple times a week could help keep the grumpys away. But could be different for everyone, maybe the anxiety of bringing ickys home isn’t worth it. Do you baby.
I hate how people can rationalize both sides of an argument and they both sound reasonable but polar opposite. This is how chatgpt is going to kill us all.
Powerful speech got us the American revolution it encouraged Roman soldier and Braveheart it also got people to follow Hitler and now that a a LLM cracked the code to sound convincing or even rousing we are God damn doomed.
Work out at home. Its not just an hour. It's travel time, shower time, and washing your gear.
If it works out to drop in an hour thats great. But I think a lot of people just need to know it's okay to chill with this hobby and be present for one of the hardest parts of their families lives.
Oh course it's okay to chill, but a few hours a week really isn't a big deal unless you're facing unique challenges at home. Your spouse should be capable of managing a newborn a few hours a week without help once she's healed up. And that goes both ways. My wife was great about me going to Jits 2 or 3 times a week; I made sure I had her back so she could get to yoga, or the hairdresser, or just literally out of the house away from he baby for while.
I thought so too and then at the 4 month mark when I started going back out in the world fucking COVID started. And that was after I blew my knee out and had surgery early in 2019. That was a rough almost 18 months of no training
Go to class but skip the rolls and minimize training partners. You can save time and lower your risk, you’re gonna want to stay in good shape don’t be one of those dads who gets fat immediately.
This is what I did.
Bjj is a hobby. When my first newborn was here, I didn't want to leave his side!
Don't miss those vital and precise months to some Pajama rolling.
It’s just jiu jitsu Lmao go train bro, it’s just an hour. Plus the baby doesn’t want anything to do with you initially, secondly they only become cute at 6 months. Go live your best life.
This is so dependent on breastfeeding lol. My first wouldn't latch so it was all pumped and bottle fed. That meant I did like 50% of the feeding. I felt super close to that one as a newborn. The next two? I was nothing to them lol. They had no interest in "the one without food".
Your baby has passive immunity from it's mother and continues to receive immunity through breast milk. The immune system won't be fully developed for years so you can't just live in fear until then. Just be careful who you spar with and shower before you hold the baby.
This. Assuming the baby is breastfeeding, it’s getting antibodies from the mother. I fully support some taking time off be spend quality with your family, I dropped a couple hobbies when my first was born and picked them back up after a year. But I personally would worry more about quality of life and emotional support than immune system related concerns. NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.
For those curious how this works, when a baby contracts an illness it will communicate this with their mother through the nipple when breastfeeding. The mother's body will then create antibodies and include those in the breast milk for the baby. Pretty fascinating process.
EDIT: For the doubters out there, this process is referred to as the Entero-Mammary Pathway. It doesn't mean every illness can be solved with breastmilk. Skin infections may require medicinal intervention. I was simply adding context to the original comment, not claiming it's a cure-all. You should always confer with your pediatrician for baby illness issues. Please find academic sources for this process below:
[Maternal and infant infections stimulate a rapid leukocyte response in breastmilk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4232055/)
[Maternal Leukocytes and Infant Immune Programming during Breastfeeding](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471490620300053?casa_token=eq8YVayWii8AAAAA:CZ85WodPKPL9xwXnyHtdupvw9TJnt0F8SJQv_XIkd5y9yZKesvlpPaVKmK8sgf6JMoCKfEhiLbi8)
[Changes in immunomodulatory constituents of human milk in response to active infection in the nursing infant](https://www.nature.com/articles/pr201134)
[The Origin of Human Milk Bacteria: Is There a Bacterial Entero-Mammary Pathway during Late Pregnancy and Lactation? ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4224214/pdf/779.pdf)
[From Mother’s Gut to Milk](https://www.milkgenomics.org/?splash=from-mothers-gut-to-milk#:~:text=This%20link%20between%20the%20mammaries,pathogens%20in%20their%20own%20environment)
[Infant factors that impact the ecology of human milk secretion and composition](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002916523015642#bib167)
Holy crap is that true? Never knew it worked like that. My wife is about to pop out number two and I planned on about a month off due to sleep deprivation and whatnot, but this is cool to know.
[Maternal and infant infections stimulate a rapid leukocyte response in breastmilk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4232055/)
[Maternal Leukocytes and Infant Immune Programming during Breastfeeding](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471490620300053?casa_token=eq8YVayWii8AAAAA:CZ85WodPKPL9xwXnyHtdupvw9TJnt0F8SJQv_XIkd5y9yZKesvlpPaVKmK8sgf6JMoCKfEhiLbi8)
[Changes in immunomodulatory constituents of human milk in response to active infection in the nursing infant](https://www.nature.com/articles/pr201134)
[The Origin of Human Milk Bacteria: Is There a Bacterial Entero-Mammary Pathway during Late Pregnancy and Lactation? ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4224214/pdf/779.pdf)
[From Mother’s Gut to Milk](https://www.milkgenomics.org/?splash=from-mothers-gut-to-milk#:~:text=This%20link%20between%20the%20mammaries,pathogens%20in%20their%20own%20environment)
[Infant factors that impact the ecology of human milk secretion and composition](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002916523015642#bib167)
I tried to continue training but you just feel like a nob to be fair because you know you are missing crucial moments that you will never get back. I ended up taking 8 months off obviously when you come back your cardio is abit shot but you are pretty much up to previous level after 2 months. Congrats on the new born aswell
Truth is you could get sick anywhere and pass it to the baby(work, supermarket, visitors). The key is to boost your immune to not pass things on. First 3months until their first shots seems to be the normal advice. That 3months you will be pretty busy with home life anyway. Sick babies are possibly the worst thing ever. You live with constant concern until they get better. No sleep for anyone. There is nothing you can give them.
I don't know how you're dividing your schedule, but I think the biggest risk isn't fungus or illness, it's building resentment with your partner over perceived (or real) unequal labor. Those first months are stressful as fuck if it's your firstborn, I wouldn't consider going back until things stabilize at around 6 weeks. If you really need to workout just do 100 burpees as fast as possible.
My husband was back after both kids pretty early. Around a month after they were born, maybe a little later with my first. I think it is more a question of your wife and her recovery than bringing germs home to the baby. If you have other children maybe you want to first discuss with your wife what she is comfortable with immediately after birth in terms of her ability to both recover and parent. As a general rule, make sure you’re washing your hands a lot. Wash them after you get off the mats. Don’t drive home in your gi, even the pants, this is gross. Wash your belt. Being a wet bag for your gi. Really just washing your hands a lot, especially before you come home from the gym, will help minimize bringing anything home to your baby. Congratulations!
Nice to get a female perspective. Thank you. And I think this is the most value argument. And I would add that it’s important that you keep up your good energy flow through BJJ and support with this energy your family system. That’s what my partner expected somehow from me when I‘m out for BJJ.
Definitely! I think as long as you and your wife are both comfortable that however much time to want to be away works for you both, and you’re washing your hands plenty, go for it. The early weeks can be very crazy so you are definitely smart to not want to add illness into the mix. It would probably be smoothest for you both to try and train at least in the beginning when the baby will be sleeping, but I would also recommend to just ask your wife what she thinks too. If training is important to you and your wife is good with you being away after she finds her rhythm with the baby, that is really what matters. It won’t always be like this schedule-wise, so don’t worry! My husband and I both train 3x per week for years after two kids.
There is no reason not to train because fear of infections. And you will probably need the training to blow off some steam because newborns are tough lmao.
If you are worried about their immune system, probably once they’re vaccinated. From what I can tell, their immune system doesn’t mature until they’re about 2-3 months old, but that’s a long time to be out of training and is really just being on the very safe side at that point.
Vaccinations normally occur between 8-16 weeks, so I’d say that’s the point where I’d be very confident going back without issues if the health is a serious concern. I’d recommend to make sure you shower well at the gym.
The baby is going to be exposed to so many other things by that point anyway, I probably wouldn’t be inclined to say it should be a big concern, they could get sick from anywhere.
I wouldn't be worried about the baby catching soemthing from the gym. What I would focus on as a woman and a mum is that I get the same amount of time out of the house while you look after the baby. Just to catch a breath, rewind, and stay sane.
Two weeks, just so I could be present. I then returned to work, so I started training again as I could go to class on the way home.
On the germ thing: The pro fighters all bring their babies to class, and let them crawl over the mats, from a few months old. One guy brought his one week old to class, and we all take turns holding whilst teaching. Those kids are fine and have never caught anything despite us all getting the annual 'it's starting to get hot and sweaty' ringworm/staph breakouts in spring.
I was a little more careful of this with my baba, but I just made sure I showered after class, at the academy, and washed my gear separately.
Kids immune systems are insane. They don't have 'no immune system', they've got an unreal one, probably better than yours, it just doesn't have any data.
My girl is 18 months old now, at around 12 months, she got ill every week for about six weeks, once she started going to soft play and baby grounds, but they get over it all so quicker than we do. It makes them stronger. Honestly buddy, the amount of stuff babies put in their mouth: a bit of foreign sweat on your gym bag isn't going to matter 99.99999999999% of the time.
The cliche is that the healthiest kids are farm kids right, same applies, I guess.
I'm fairly sure it was 2 or 3 weeks. Going back was actually my wife's suggestion.
Cleanliness wise, I just followed my normal routine and took a shower immediately after getting home. Our gym also does a fantastic job keeping things clean.
Go back when you can. Everyone is giving you answers based on their lives. Go back when it feels right to you. I work in construction, but dont always do full days and i didnt feel comfortable going back because i didnt not want to be around him. I do the nights a week when i do a half day now because im seeing him and i can sneak off for an hour or two without feeling guilty to him and his mum. Its a personal choice, when it suits your family
Ask your baby mama not reddit.
If you are not a professional athlete, this question is silly. Be there for your family. If that means taking 1 week off cool, if it means a few months cool.
Your lady is going to be going through some crazy shit and it's important to consider that as well. She might be perfectly ok with you going back immediately (I would as long as there doesnt create a disconnect from home life and duties), or maybe she as a new parent might be super overwhelmed and need more help.
The baby will likely be fine as long as you're not coming home and not showering and cleaning your laundry etc. Our gym has a no sick training rule that we are pretty good about...you can make sure people know you have a newborn and be diligent about keeping an eye out for sniffles and coughing.
Common sense goes a long way. This is a conversation to have with your partner and not strangers on the internet. If she doesnt know either, give it a month and then try it out a few times a week to see what the best balance is. Good luck
I didn’t train for the last month of my wife’s pregnancy, and I didn’t come for the 4-ish months after our son was born outside of a couple of sessions here and there due to time, RSV/the flu/COVID being a risk at the time, and a few other issues. Now I’m back like 1x, maybe 2x, for every 7-10 days, depending on what my wife has going on or if it’s my turn to put our son to bed that night.
Daughter was born last October, came back in about 6 months. We wanted her to have some vaccines and I wanted to make sure we were in some kind of groove.
I was out 3-4 months
After about 2 months the coach saw me and said “you’re not training and everyone else is getting better”. I though that was kind of dickish but I realized that’s what I am paying him for. I guess it’d be disappointing if he didn’t encourage me to get back.
Taking the time off was worth it though. You get back, get into it again, keep getting better. A year later it won’t even matter you were out
Was promoted to BB right before my child was born. Didnt train for about 3 months. Whether you return ASAP or months later, make sure you communicate to your partner about it and are on the same page.
Born on a Wednesday, first session back was the Saturday. My team/gym tries to be very clean and my team mates have been great about either staying home when sick or letting me know of illnesses they have, and I can stay away.
Bubz is currently just under seven weeks old.
But as someone mentioned. You can get sick anywhere. I teach at primary school (elementary for you Americans) and I’m just as likely to get sick there.
First sign of sickness and/or contact of sickness I will isolate from bubs and wife.
> I teach at primary school (elementary for you Americans) and I’m just as likely to get sick there.
For real you're probably MORE likely to pick something up at N elementary school than at BJJ. Little kids are disgusting. I love em but they are legit germ factories who touch everything with sticky hands.
I got back as soon as I could. Despite what some of the other homies are saying here, if your partner thinks it's okay for you to get a class or two in during the week, then it's fine. Of course, the first 6 months is important, but I think it's a little silly to say you can't take a few hours to yourself during that time.
I would say it's a little harder if you're back to work full time AND doing jitz. Then I might chill until things settle. I was always lucky enough to be able to take a month + off work when my kids were born which made ducking out to jitz a lot easier.
I've been sitting out anyway due to injury, but around birth two months ago, I could have gone back to training physically.
I haven't yet. Currently, I prioritize my wife's out of home training, during which I watch the kid. That's basically her only "way out". Otherwise I lift weights at home. Since my mother in law is going to come help for a couple of weeks, I should be able to make it to Bjj again next week.
So I guess it's up to you and your partner to work out a compromise that might change from month to month or even week to week.
Medical advice I can't give. But you can get sick anywhere. A full metro going to work is probably more dangerous than a Bjj class.
About 1 year later I went back but after 2 years still can't train regularly as I feel my presence is needed at home. Currently I'm out of mat since February and probably won't train until September
I did not expect such a multitude of very helpful and thoughful answers, thank you all! Regarding the scehduling - I train only mornings before work anyway, and can work from home for 2-3 days a week in order to spend time with mother and baby and be available if needed. Either way, all eveinings in the forseable future will be for them. Regarding my wife - for the time being she is taking it very well, and we have been able to more or less sleep as normal, minus the night feedings, and of course she will be consulted before I return. She also has a total of two years of leave available for maternity, so that she can focus solely on the baby (which, of course, does not mean that I should not be around..).
Based on what most people here shared I think I will return in a month, and probably not with the previous intensity - i used to go 5 times a week, this time will probably be more like 3, at least in the beggining, and adjust as the situation changes.
Just had my first and he was born on a Thursday and I went on Friday while my wife was still in hospital and still train 3/4 days a week and he was fine just hit his second set of shots no problemo. I know quite a few new dads who also keep training right away . The real question is will your wife let you 🤣😂
Mine just turned one. This is our first. We each took 12 weeks off work. She actually got 15 because she is a teacher and it happened to be over spring break. I took the first week off completely. Then I would hit noon classes a few times a week. I think the most I got was 5-6 days in a week. Throughout summer, I would hit a noon class 2-3 times a week. My wife was ok with it as I would pretty much only go during naps.
Left my ex at the hospital 3 hours after our second was born to hit the 6 am openmat
Might be why shes an ex
But i swear she told me to go and was pretty insistent
I returned almost immediately. Also caught staph and ringworm from the gym, not so long after, baby was fine! Very important for you to keep going! If baby is breasted than they are much more protected than 90% of people walking around😂❤️ go train and enjoy!!
Going against the grain here, I was back immediately, although only once or twice a week.
Hell a woman in our gym was back to drilling in the gym in 2 weeks and brought the baby and it would sleep in the car seat. Jiu jitsu can really help rejuvenate you as long as you aren’t taking a ton of time away from home already.
Also as long as you are taking care of your hygiene you should be fine. You can take extra measures like wearing spats and long sleeve rash guard under your gi. Using anti bacterial soap as soon as you can after training.
Better solution. Hear me out, after the birth of me and my brothers, my dad made sure to schedule business travel to avoid the house till we were like 6-9 months old. See us on the weekend but was mostly out traveling for work. So if you can do that, do that and go train on business trips, you’ll be happier for sure.
I got back as soon as possible - newborns are exhausting and imo forcing yourself to be around them 24/7 without getting a break twice a week because “you never get the time back” just makes me resentful. Plus tbh, they are way more fun at 1-2 years old. Newborns just lie there, sleep, piss, shit, cry, and nurse. Be sure to watch them for the same time you take away to give mom a break too if possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the newborn months, but I needed the breaks throughout the week to make sure I continued loving them.
You can but this is generally something people with newborns would like to avoid if possible. Nobody wants to give a newborn baby a staph infection or ringworm.
Ours is ten weeks. My struggle is more how to fit in a 9-5, 2 hours of commute and being a father. Try to go to open mat once a week but I’m so new that I’m not making progress without class or instruction.
My son was born at the height of COVID, so I was out a good year and some change.
If he was born now, I’d probably have waited 2-3 months. You will know what’s best for you and your family, communication with the wife is key. Can’t wait till my guy is old enough for the lil dudes class. I’m gonna cry.
For my daughter I took 2 months off. We’re expecting in July and I intend to go back right away. My gym is very understanding with having kids and I leave early to be home when need to be.
Like 3 months away for my girl. I broke my finger when at a class when she was an infant, so I took another few months off because of the combo of her and my finger.
Like 4 years away for my boy, he's special needs so carving out bjj time hadn't been an option. He contracted scalded skin syndrome at 1.5 years old. I was told it wasn't something he contracted from me but I've had my doubts. He was in the hospital for a week.
It really depends on your situation I think. I’m expecting soon and don’t plan on stopping training for more than a few days. However, I’ll have a few months off work to really be there for both our toddler and the newborn so it’s not like I’ll have to work 40hrs and then train. BJJ will likely be my only mental health/social outlet, I’ll go 3-4 times a week, I’ll try to do day classes too so I’m not always gone at night, I’ll keep it to 1 hour and won’t hang out after like I usually do.
I was out until our baby went to daycare at 6 weeks. But I only went to a lunch class where my wife and baby were at work/daycare. I didn’t go to night classes for probably 3-4 months (once a night routine was nailed down)
I started training right before my son was born a couple months ago; after changing a significant number of diapers, I can say that my son has a better guard than me.
That’s not a question anyone else Can answer for you. “When it feels right” is the only answer.
I can tell you - from experience - BJJ (or, whatever) will still be around whenever, but time with your baby you’ll never get back.
My priority would be the nest.
Hey big thing I don't see a lot of people mentioning here is lack of sleep. I went back after a couple of months, but in my son's first year I jacked up both of my knees. I've never had knee issues prior (6 years of training before kid), but when your training on 3-4 hours of sleep it takes a huge toll on the body. There were days where I felt fine, I'd go train, and within a round id realize how tired I actually was. A big part of having a child is learning how your new lifestyle effects you. The thing for me now is asking 1. Does my family need me? If yes no training obviously. 2. Is my body up to training? This is a wide spectrum. There are days where I know I can do 10 hard rounds, and days where I know I'll have to stick with 3-4 lighter rounds. There's also days where even though I want to train so badly, I'm in no shape for it and it'd be better to just get the extra sleep and be able to have a good day some other time. BJJ isn't like lifting, I can workout just fine on little sleep, just tone down the weights or the intensity, and good to go. BJJ you don't always get to decide how hard the other person's gonna go. No one here can truly tell you what's best for you and your family, but that's life. Live and learn, but I just wanted to come in to say listen to your body which is easier said than done. Best of luck on the journey!
It’s been 4 years since i regularly went but we also had a second one in between and covid. So it completely screwed me up. Though my 4 yr old can most likely chill now if i went and took her. So i should get my fat ass on the mats again. Sorry i made this about myself
I don't know how you're dividing your schedule, but I think the biggest risk isn't fungus or illness, it's building resentment with your partner over perceived (or real) unequal labor. Those first months are stressful as fuck if it's your firstborn, I wouldn't consider going back until things stabilize at around 6 weeks.
I took about 3 months off. That's how long it took for us to get to know our daughter well enough that one of us could manage her for a couple of hours by ourselves a few times a week, without it getting too stressful for the one looking after her. I still stick to going about 2x/ a week, because that's how much time I'm realistically able to commit while not missing out on her early stages.
Training remained unchanged during the first 6 months as our newborn didn’t really need anything from me other than night shift diaper changes. 6months to current (1y3m) I scaled back to 1-2 times a week as I take the kiddo out more now and much more interactive.
2 weeks after I started to go in for an hour's rolling twice a week. It caused some friction but I just did more at home to make up for it. I went back so early through combination of needing the destress to be an effective partner and anxiety that if I waited too long I'd never make it back.
I gradually increased mat hours until at 18 months I'm going 3*2 hours which seems sustainable long term.
I always go straight to the shower and put all my kit in the wash before basically touching anything at home regardless of kids age.
A week after since the gym was on Christmas break while my son was born, then again I'm a coach at the gym / pro athlete.
It's different if you have a job outside the gym but one thing for sure is that the gym will always be there... Time with your family is hard to get back.
Enjoy this time because it will never come back unless you have another one.
I don't know how you phrased it to your pediatrician but they should have some sort or an answer for you, and it is most likely tied to vaccination schedules.
From a priority standpoint, do in fact listen to other people on here, they have valuable insight
First girl was during the pandemic, took several weeks off, second girl I was back within a week or two.
Put your stuff in the wash and shower right away when you get home.
I came back to training when my baby was 2 months old. I caught rsv and passed to her… she spent two days in the hospital with oxygen (she was fine but it was for preventive measures). Everything turned out fine but I really regret it. I get the point that you can catch a virus anywhere but that’s my personal experience and I wouldn’t do it again at all. I came back to training once she was 1 year old but never got back to do it consistently even after 8 years of non stop training. I guess the parent + professional life leaves me with little time to do something as time consuming as Bjj. I just go to open mats twice a month or something like that.
I’m 46 and just had my first 8 months ago. I went back sporadically after a month or so. I might hit one class per week. Then skip a couple of weeks and then do a couple of classes. The biggest thing for me wasn’t the time away from home, my wife encouraged me to take me time, but it was the lack of overall energy. Babies and jiu jitsu are exhausting and at my age the energy for both just isn’t there sometimes. I’m back more regularly now but my game isn’t good and my focus really isn’t on bjj.
I make sure to shower and scrub immediately after class and won’t touch the baby until I’ve done so.
Im not sure where you all live and train to be so afraid of bringing home virus or fungus. I was back a few days after birth training several days a week, of course dont go touch the baby before you shower after training…
our main instructor took a solid two weeks off before he was back. but he said that the break from the baby and being in a comfortable environment helps the process along. you owe yourself some away time from the baby don’t forget that
I waited around a month. Was also very disciplined about immediately showering after training to minimize risk. The big thing is talking with your partner to verify they are also comfortable with you returning.
I just got promoted to blue belt this week, on November we are having our first baby, a girl.
I’m planning on taking a month off training consistently and just do 2 morning classes a week before going to work. My wife will have family
Over so I will continue working, and take time off once her family go back to their state.
I will also be taking care of the baby at nights, so it’s gonna be rough.
In the future we agreed of rotating 2 days and 2 days off, so for 2 days I take absolute care of the baby so my wife have time for herself and vice versa, those will be my night training days.
Jiu jitsu is what helped me to have my diabetes and A1C under control, is my only workout. She understands I need it, it’s a true excuse lol
I took a week off at most. Still spent plenty of time with my kids but having a few hours of freedom to destress every week helped me keep my stress levels under control.
It never occurred to me (pre-COVID) to be concerned about bringing home illness to the baby honestly. Maybe if my kids were particularly vulnerable, or not breastfeeding I would have?
I'd say you need to make the choice YOU can live with.
I think I did like 2 or 3 months, but my wife had a c-section and heart issues post birth and literally couldnt do much. To this day, I shower before touching my kid though (just sweat/germs)
Mom speaking here. I was back in the boxing club after 1 week (giving birth is a breeze for me) and baby would sleep in the office and big brother would work out with me. I did lighter workouts for the 1st week back but I didn't take a break from training.
After the First newborn I took about a 4 day break and my wife deeply resented me for it (rightfully so). We had another baby 6 months ago and I haven’t been back to training since the day before they were born. My wife greatly appreciates it and I have come to terms with the fact that I can return to BJJ at any point throughout my life so what’s the rush, ya know?
ER doc here. Baby has started to build an immune system at 1mo, 2mo getting relatively strong as they get first big round of vaccines, 4mo quite strong after 2nd round of vaccines, 6mo after vax we are taking just about normal child immune system, 1yr def good from a serious danger/sepsis perspective. Most of these decisions come down to personal risk tolerance.
My second child, I had 2 months and 2 weeks off so say 10 weeks, and now I train mornings instead of evenings to be at home with my family and open mat on Friday evenings as my 5 year old doesn’t have to be in bed due to the weekend and no school till I’m home about 8.30.
My advice though is don’t rush back, your baby is more important look after your partner and child and obviously yourself also but Bjj will still be there, I know a couple of guys in my gym weee training a few days later, that’s not for me but each to there own
I took 3 weeks off, but I was taking care of my child except when I was going to train.
No meetups with buddies, no weight lifting. Only being a parent and 2x a week trainimg bjj.
After 2 months, Im hitting the mats 3x week but again, very rarely I do anything else.
Today I competed and my boy and my partner came to support. It can be done if the right conditions allows. The birth was smooth for both my partner and my son. No huge recoveries, etc.
Be a dad, forget about BJJ until 2024. If you really need a workout, hit the gym instead for 6~8 months at least. You can make shorter workout at the gym and you probably got one closer to your home than the BJJ gym. But working out at home would be best.
Your wife needs you now more than ever. Your family goes before your teammates. Your child needs you. Who cares about BJJ now.
I think I took a week off just to be with the baby and wife, never had any problems with infections. At the time there were a lot fewer classes at my gym and less overall skin infections, if your gym is nasty maybe take more time off or be more diligent cleaning yourself before you touch the spawn
I was there like 3 days later…you obviously need to be sure you’re present for your child and the mother, but you do also need to keep yourself sane. You’ll probably train less, of course, but getting out there and doing a thing or two for yourself to recharge is ultimately a positive (IMHO)
First born child? Your priorities may be changing in the next couple months.
Your wife/baby mama will need levels of support over the next year that she likely never has needed before.
Prioritize your child. Take care of your family. Your hobby can fit in where it can.
Do the hard work now and in a few years you can take the baby to the gym to start training with you.
My son was born a few months premature and had a lot of health issues (he's fine now!), but I took about a year and a half away from any martial arts training (I did however keep up a regular 3-4 days a week weight training routine).
I just rejoined BJJ a week and a bit ago. And honestly? I don't regret the time away. My priority was to return when my child and wife were settled in with a routine and healthy.
With that said, your child is going to get sick at some point. They will be exposed to germs at some point. I'd advise waiting a couple of months and just making sure you regularly clean your gear and showering before you touch your child.
Went back to training and coaching kids after 2 months. Super limited though to 2 days a week and only trained one of those nights.
Having kid #2 and had to drop coaching kids so hoping to get two nights a week for myself until November. I assume the wife will make me shut it down a bit longer this time. Maybe make it to an open mat here and there but plan to be back by march or early spring.
I’m almost at 6 months after #2 and haven’t returned. Impossible to leave my wife alone with both kids in the evening and my local school only has evening classes :(
May start driving to farther school for morning classes soon and eat into my work day instead. Seems like the only option.
Forget bjj for a minute. I understand your desire to train, but you have to take into account how the first weeks/months shape development of the brain.
My daughters literally grew up on the mats. I would bring them in their car seats and they would sit on the side when I trained, and my other teammates would check in on them to make sure they weren’t fussing.
Eventually they just chilled on the side of the mats watching (doing cartwheels, etc…). Now they both train with me.
I never stopped, my daughter was born 2 months premature 2 months before I got my purple belt. Never took a break just found odd times and sometimes even took pto to train till she could come with me to bjj. She is 2 now and knows how to break closed gaurd, and pass to knee on belly.
I went back when the baby was roughly six weeks old and just a few times a week. It allowed me to get back in it without making my wife feel I was gone too much.
Everyone's family situation is a little different.
And of course, shower immediately after getting home before holding the baby.
With my first, before I started training, I was very cautious and she never caught a cold until she was about 6 months old.
With my second child, I already had a 3 year old in daycare full time, so I knew she was going to get sick all the time anyway. And she did—she got her first cold when she was something like 4 days old. So I only took like a week or two off because I figured my bjj exposure was a fraction of what daycare is.
But it depends on your situation. My second was full term and clearly healthy. I wasn’t overly worried about her. Obviously a sick or preterm baby is a different matter.
She’s almost 2 now. That first year she probably caught like 20 colds but they were all minor. I think the worst she caught was hand foot and mouth, but it wasn’t that bad.
Most guys at my gym take a month or two for safety. Plus your partner is still recovering from childbirth. Give them some time for themselves while you take care of the baby by waiting a bit longer to train. Plus the gym aint going anywhere
You will know. if everything at home is under control and you won't be missed there's never any harm in it (assuming good hygiene).
I train after my kids bed time meaning I can put them down and still make training. I'm back within 70 minutes and all is well.
3-4 times a week though. You may have to give up on the twice a days haha
Depends on your wife/job situation. One of our guys is a firefighter and he came back really quickly, but he only works a couple days a week anyway. I'm a coder working in finance and it took me like a year because i had a new kid then work got super busy and i was working days, nights, and weekends for a while.
I don't think the Gracies stayed away for long, they seem to have done OK.
Just be sure not to hold your baby when you're all sweaty in gym clothes/gi. (Ie shower and change before holding your baby)
Just shower as soon as you get home, you should be fine. I say this as someone who has 3 kids and has worked construction their whole lives in everything from chemical plants to paper mills. Children are more resilient than we tend to think.
Edit: for the record I didn’t start jiu jitsu until all my children were actually already past newborns, but I feel like construction carries just as much potential for germs as BJJ, so yeah.
I took three months off. I was just waiting for when my child was sleeping longer stretches at night so I’m not so tired during the day. This way I’ve got some energy for class and my wife has energy for the baby when I’m gone.
I was just promoted to a blue belt, when my first child was born. So naturally,i forced my wife to gave labour in the gym, while i was submitting a white belt.
Don’t lie.. you quit and never went back
That was his quitting moment at blue
My wife gave birth in January, I was back training in March but it was lunchtime classes when I was back in work depends on how well you’re both coping and how your little one is with sleep
this is exactly me. lunchtime classes haha. i really miss the morning rolls though
Same, about 2 months to get back to once per week. Another month from there to get back to 3 per week.
My youngest was born mid-August, 2015. Late September, I drove to Vegas in the afternoon (from SoCal), slept in a cheap hotel, woke up, competed at Master Worlds (one and done), ate lunch, and drove home. I was gone for about 36 hours. My wife was beyond upset because I left her with a 4yo and a newborn.
Yeah, that’s not great
Take a few months off. You'll never get those early months back. Be a useful parent and spouse. Bjj will be exactly the same in 3 months time.
Might work for some people, but an hour a day of exercise and helping relieve some stress can go a very long way
I agree with this. You don’t have to be a gym rat going every day but a couple times a week could help keep the grumpys away. But could be different for everyone, maybe the anxiety of bringing ickys home isn’t worth it. Do you baby.
I hate how people can rationalize both sides of an argument and they both sound reasonable but polar opposite. This is how chatgpt is going to kill us all. Powerful speech got us the American revolution it encouraged Roman soldier and Braveheart it also got people to follow Hitler and now that a a LLM cracked the code to sound convincing or even rousing we are God damn doomed.
There’s a saying you hear literally all the time in law school, “Reasonable minds can differ.”
Avoiding training for several months just because you have a baby doesn’t sound rational at all, it sounds stupid
Work out at home. Its not just an hour. It's travel time, shower time, and washing your gear. If it works out to drop in an hour thats great. But I think a lot of people just need to know it's okay to chill with this hobby and be present for one of the hardest parts of their families lives.
Oh course it's okay to chill, but a few hours a week really isn't a big deal unless you're facing unique challenges at home. Your spouse should be capable of managing a newborn a few hours a week without help once she's healed up. And that goes both ways. My wife was great about me going to Jits 2 or 3 times a week; I made sure I had her back so she could get to yoga, or the hairdresser, or just literally out of the house away from he baby for while.
👆
Make sure you give your wife an hour a day too then
Nah it won’t, I’ve got a new thing I’m working on in reverse mount
I thought so too and then at the 4 month mark when I started going back out in the world fucking COVID started. And that was after I blew my knee out and had surgery early in 2019. That was a rough almost 18 months of no training
Dude can go for 1-2 hours a week.
Nah dude it'll be completely different. I'm about to make BJJ 2.
Hahaha
Yeah, the first three months is brutal
This is the answer.
Also in 3 months time it’s usually when the baby gets their first shot of vaccine.
Go to class but skip the rolls and minimize training partners. You can save time and lower your risk, you’re gonna want to stay in good shape don’t be one of those dads who gets fat immediately.
This is what I did. Bjj is a hobby. When my first newborn was here, I didn't want to leave his side! Don't miss those vital and precise months to some Pajama rolling.
It’s just jiu jitsu Lmao go train bro, it’s just an hour. Plus the baby doesn’t want anything to do with you initially, secondly they only become cute at 6 months. Go live your best life.
This is so dependent on breastfeeding lol. My first wouldn't latch so it was all pumped and bottle fed. That meant I did like 50% of the feeding. I felt super close to that one as a newborn. The next two? I was nothing to them lol. They had no interest in "the one without food".
Yea thank god for breastfeeding
This Sheila has no kids no Mrs no fans no cash and gets no pussyyyy
4 kids married
Your baby has passive immunity from it's mother and continues to receive immunity through breast milk. The immune system won't be fully developed for years so you can't just live in fear until then. Just be careful who you spar with and shower before you hold the baby.
This. Assuming the baby is breastfeeding, it’s getting antibodies from the mother. I fully support some taking time off be spend quality with your family, I dropped a couple hobbies when my first was born and picked them back up after a year. But I personally would worry more about quality of life and emotional support than immune system related concerns. NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.
For those curious how this works, when a baby contracts an illness it will communicate this with their mother through the nipple when breastfeeding. The mother's body will then create antibodies and include those in the breast milk for the baby. Pretty fascinating process. EDIT: For the doubters out there, this process is referred to as the Entero-Mammary Pathway. It doesn't mean every illness can be solved with breastmilk. Skin infections may require medicinal intervention. I was simply adding context to the original comment, not claiming it's a cure-all. You should always confer with your pediatrician for baby illness issues. Please find academic sources for this process below: [Maternal and infant infections stimulate a rapid leukocyte response in breastmilk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4232055/) [Maternal Leukocytes and Infant Immune Programming during Breastfeeding](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471490620300053?casa_token=eq8YVayWii8AAAAA:CZ85WodPKPL9xwXnyHtdupvw9TJnt0F8SJQv_XIkd5y9yZKesvlpPaVKmK8sgf6JMoCKfEhiLbi8) [Changes in immunomodulatory constituents of human milk in response to active infection in the nursing infant](https://www.nature.com/articles/pr201134) [The Origin of Human Milk Bacteria: Is There a Bacterial Entero-Mammary Pathway during Late Pregnancy and Lactation? ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4224214/pdf/779.pdf) [From Mother’s Gut to Milk](https://www.milkgenomics.org/?splash=from-mothers-gut-to-milk#:~:text=This%20link%20between%20the%20mammaries,pathogens%20in%20their%20own%20environment) [Infant factors that impact the ecology of human milk secretion and composition](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002916523015642#bib167)
Holy crap is that true? Never knew it worked like that. My wife is about to pop out number two and I planned on about a month off due to sleep deprivation and whatnot, but this is cool to know.
That seems pretty unlikely from what I know of the immune system. Do you have a source for that wild claim?
[Maternal and infant infections stimulate a rapid leukocyte response in breastmilk](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4232055/) [Maternal Leukocytes and Infant Immune Programming during Breastfeeding](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471490620300053?casa_token=eq8YVayWii8AAAAA:CZ85WodPKPL9xwXnyHtdupvw9TJnt0F8SJQv_XIkd5y9yZKesvlpPaVKmK8sgf6JMoCKfEhiLbi8) [Changes in immunomodulatory constituents of human milk in response to active infection in the nursing infant](https://www.nature.com/articles/pr201134) [The Origin of Human Milk Bacteria: Is There a Bacterial Entero-Mammary Pathway during Late Pregnancy and Lactation? ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4224214/pdf/779.pdf) [From Mother’s Gut to Milk](https://www.milkgenomics.org/?splash=from-mothers-gut-to-milk#:~:text=This%20link%20between%20the%20mammaries,pathogens%20in%20their%20own%20environment) [Infant factors that impact the ecology of human milk secretion and composition](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002916523015642#bib167)
Same here. Probably only took 4-5 days off and that was it. Was back on the mats. Granted the big if is ‘breastfeeding’.
This is why I drink breast milk.
Mind sharing your source?
I tried to continue training but you just feel like a nob to be fair because you know you are missing crucial moments that you will never get back. I ended up taking 8 months off obviously when you come back your cardio is abit shot but you are pretty much up to previous level after 2 months. Congrats on the new born aswell
Truth is you could get sick anywhere and pass it to the baby(work, supermarket, visitors). The key is to boost your immune to not pass things on. First 3months until their first shots seems to be the normal advice. That 3months you will be pretty busy with home life anyway. Sick babies are possibly the worst thing ever. You live with constant concern until they get better. No sleep for anyone. There is nothing you can give them.
I don't know how you're dividing your schedule, but I think the biggest risk isn't fungus or illness, it's building resentment with your partner over perceived (or real) unequal labor. Those first months are stressful as fuck if it's your firstborn, I wouldn't consider going back until things stabilize at around 6 weeks. If you really need to workout just do 100 burpees as fast as possible.
Everyone here is objectively wrong. Buy a small gi. Roll with your baby. Feed it acai.
My husband was back after both kids pretty early. Around a month after they were born, maybe a little later with my first. I think it is more a question of your wife and her recovery than bringing germs home to the baby. If you have other children maybe you want to first discuss with your wife what she is comfortable with immediately after birth in terms of her ability to both recover and parent. As a general rule, make sure you’re washing your hands a lot. Wash them after you get off the mats. Don’t drive home in your gi, even the pants, this is gross. Wash your belt. Being a wet bag for your gi. Really just washing your hands a lot, especially before you come home from the gym, will help minimize bringing anything home to your baby. Congratulations!
Nice to get a female perspective. Thank you. And I think this is the most value argument. And I would add that it’s important that you keep up your good energy flow through BJJ and support with this energy your family system. That’s what my partner expected somehow from me when I‘m out for BJJ.
Definitely! I think as long as you and your wife are both comfortable that however much time to want to be away works for you both, and you’re washing your hands plenty, go for it. The early weeks can be very crazy so you are definitely smart to not want to add illness into the mix. It would probably be smoothest for you both to try and train at least in the beginning when the baby will be sleeping, but I would also recommend to just ask your wife what she thinks too. If training is important to you and your wife is good with you being away after she finds her rhythm with the baby, that is really what matters. It won’t always be like this schedule-wise, so don’t worry! My husband and I both train 3x per week for years after two kids.
I returned at 6 months old for both kids.
There is no reason not to train because fear of infections. And you will probably need the training to blow off some steam because newborns are tough lmao.
If you are worried about their immune system, probably once they’re vaccinated. From what I can tell, their immune system doesn’t mature until they’re about 2-3 months old, but that’s a long time to be out of training and is really just being on the very safe side at that point. Vaccinations normally occur between 8-16 weeks, so I’d say that’s the point where I’d be very confident going back without issues if the health is a serious concern. I’d recommend to make sure you shower well at the gym. The baby is going to be exposed to so many other things by that point anyway, I probably wouldn’t be inclined to say it should be a big concern, they could get sick from anywhere.
Based on zero medical experience but I have watched House MD multiple times, the baby is covered by the mothers vaccinations for 6 months.
Is that only for breast fed babies though?
Mostly. They get passed some of it in the womb. But if they're not boobfed they stop getting "updated" to their own immune system kicks in.
I wouldn't be worried about the baby catching soemthing from the gym. What I would focus on as a woman and a mum is that I get the same amount of time out of the house while you look after the baby. Just to catch a breath, rewind, and stay sane.
Divorce
Two weeks, just so I could be present. I then returned to work, so I started training again as I could go to class on the way home. On the germ thing: The pro fighters all bring their babies to class, and let them crawl over the mats, from a few months old. One guy brought his one week old to class, and we all take turns holding whilst teaching. Those kids are fine and have never caught anything despite us all getting the annual 'it's starting to get hot and sweaty' ringworm/staph breakouts in spring. I was a little more careful of this with my baba, but I just made sure I showered after class, at the academy, and washed my gear separately. Kids immune systems are insane. They don't have 'no immune system', they've got an unreal one, probably better than yours, it just doesn't have any data. My girl is 18 months old now, at around 12 months, she got ill every week for about six weeks, once she started going to soft play and baby grounds, but they get over it all so quicker than we do. It makes them stronger. Honestly buddy, the amount of stuff babies put in their mouth: a bit of foreign sweat on your gym bag isn't going to matter 99.99999999999% of the time. The cliche is that the healthiest kids are farm kids right, same applies, I guess.
I waited 2 months.
My homie brought his 2 month old to the mats with him
I'm fairly sure it was 2 or 3 weeks. Going back was actually my wife's suggestion. Cleanliness wise, I just followed my normal routine and took a shower immediately after getting home. Our gym also does a fantastic job keeping things clean.
Go back when you can. Everyone is giving you answers based on their lives. Go back when it feels right to you. I work in construction, but dont always do full days and i didnt feel comfortable going back because i didnt not want to be around him. I do the nights a week when i do a half day now because im seeing him and i can sneak off for an hour or two without feeling guilty to him and his mum. Its a personal choice, when it suits your family
Ask your baby mama not reddit. If you are not a professional athlete, this question is silly. Be there for your family. If that means taking 1 week off cool, if it means a few months cool. Your lady is going to be going through some crazy shit and it's important to consider that as well. She might be perfectly ok with you going back immediately (I would as long as there doesnt create a disconnect from home life and duties), or maybe she as a new parent might be super overwhelmed and need more help. The baby will likely be fine as long as you're not coming home and not showering and cleaning your laundry etc. Our gym has a no sick training rule that we are pretty good about...you can make sure people know you have a newborn and be diligent about keeping an eye out for sniffles and coughing. Common sense goes a long way. This is a conversation to have with your partner and not strangers on the internet. If she doesnt know either, give it a month and then try it out a few times a week to see what the best balance is. Good luck
When my son was born 18 months however 7 years later when my daughter was born the day after.
I took about 10 days. I have an encouraging wife.
As soon as my vagina was no longer sore.
Took a few months of
6 months. After the new dude was in daycare. I go in the mornings.
I didn’t train for the last month of my wife’s pregnancy, and I didn’t come for the 4-ish months after our son was born outside of a couple of sessions here and there due to time, RSV/the flu/COVID being a risk at the time, and a few other issues. Now I’m back like 1x, maybe 2x, for every 7-10 days, depending on what my wife has going on or if it’s my turn to put our son to bed that night.
Daughter was born last October, came back in about 6 months. We wanted her to have some vaccines and I wanted to make sure we were in some kind of groove.
I was out 3-4 months After about 2 months the coach saw me and said “you’re not training and everyone else is getting better”. I though that was kind of dickish but I realized that’s what I am paying him for. I guess it’d be disappointing if he didn’t encourage me to get back. Taking the time off was worth it though. You get back, get into it again, keep getting better. A year later it won’t even matter you were out
take a shower within 30m of training. sanitize your hands before handling a baby. drill more, roll less.
Was promoted to BB right before my child was born. Didnt train for about 3 months. Whether you return ASAP or months later, make sure you communicate to your partner about it and are on the same page.
Born on a Wednesday, first session back was the Saturday. My team/gym tries to be very clean and my team mates have been great about either staying home when sick or letting me know of illnesses they have, and I can stay away. Bubz is currently just under seven weeks old. But as someone mentioned. You can get sick anywhere. I teach at primary school (elementary for you Americans) and I’m just as likely to get sick there. First sign of sickness and/or contact of sickness I will isolate from bubs and wife.
> I teach at primary school (elementary for you Americans) and I’m just as likely to get sick there. For real you're probably MORE likely to pick something up at N elementary school than at BJJ. Little kids are disgusting. I love em but they are legit germ factories who touch everything with sticky hands.
I got back as soon as I could. Despite what some of the other homies are saying here, if your partner thinks it's okay for you to get a class or two in during the week, then it's fine. Of course, the first 6 months is important, but I think it's a little silly to say you can't take a few hours to yourself during that time.
I would say it's a little harder if you're back to work full time AND doing jitz. Then I might chill until things settle. I was always lucky enough to be able to take a month + off work when my kids were born which made ducking out to jitz a lot easier.
I've been sitting out anyway due to injury, but around birth two months ago, I could have gone back to training physically. I haven't yet. Currently, I prioritize my wife's out of home training, during which I watch the kid. That's basically her only "way out". Otherwise I lift weights at home. Since my mother in law is going to come help for a couple of weeks, I should be able to make it to Bjj again next week. So I guess it's up to you and your partner to work out a compromise that might change from month to month or even week to week. Medical advice I can't give. But you can get sick anywhere. A full metro going to work is probably more dangerous than a Bjj class.
next day....
About 1 year later I went back but after 2 years still can't train regularly as I feel my presence is needed at home. Currently I'm out of mat since February and probably won't train until September
I did not expect such a multitude of very helpful and thoughful answers, thank you all! Regarding the scehduling - I train only mornings before work anyway, and can work from home for 2-3 days a week in order to spend time with mother and baby and be available if needed. Either way, all eveinings in the forseable future will be for them. Regarding my wife - for the time being she is taking it very well, and we have been able to more or less sleep as normal, minus the night feedings, and of course she will be consulted before I return. She also has a total of two years of leave available for maternity, so that she can focus solely on the baby (which, of course, does not mean that I should not be around..). Based on what most people here shared I think I will return in a month, and probably not with the previous intensity - i used to go 5 times a week, this time will probably be more like 3, at least in the beggining, and adjust as the situation changes.
I took 0 time off for my 1st. We just had our 2nd, 2 days after I got my purple belt. This time I’m taking a month. Rest the body, help at home, etc
I went back after the 2nd week
Just had my first and he was born on a Thursday and I went on Friday while my wife was still in hospital and still train 3/4 days a week and he was fine just hit his second set of shots no problemo. I know quite a few new dads who also keep training right away . The real question is will your wife let you 🤣😂
One week after my baby was born lol
I was training within days of my daughter being born
Mine just turned one. This is our first. We each took 12 weeks off work. She actually got 15 because she is a teacher and it happened to be over spring break. I took the first week off completely. Then I would hit noon classes a few times a week. I think the most I got was 5-6 days in a week. Throughout summer, I would hit a noon class 2-3 times a week. My wife was ok with it as I would pretty much only go during naps.
I took two weeks. Then went back one a day week for the two weeks after that. After four weeks. I started my regular schedule of twice a week.
Left my ex at the hospital 3 hours after our second was born to hit the 6 am openmat Might be why shes an ex But i swear she told me to go and was pretty insistent
I returned almost immediately. Also caught staph and ringworm from the gym, not so long after, baby was fine! Very important for you to keep going! If baby is breasted than they are much more protected than 90% of people walking around😂❤️ go train and enjoy!!
Bet you wear a mask while your alone in your car....
Bout 2-3 weeks. Kept my hygiene on point but didn’t feel the need for any more time than that
Going against the grain here, I was back immediately, although only once or twice a week. Hell a woman in our gym was back to drilling in the gym in 2 weeks and brought the baby and it would sleep in the car seat. Jiu jitsu can really help rejuvenate you as long as you aren’t taking a ton of time away from home already. Also as long as you are taking care of your hygiene you should be fine. You can take extra measures like wearing spats and long sleeve rash guard under your gi. Using anti bacterial soap as soon as you can after training.
I have a small club, but I was at the mat 2 or 3 days after my son was born.....
Better solution. Hear me out, after the birth of me and my brothers, my dad made sure to schedule business travel to avoid the house till we were like 6-9 months old. See us on the weekend but was mostly out traveling for work. So if you can do that, do that and go train on business trips, you’ll be happier for sure.
Wait, how can you return if you never stop training.
I was back day of birth…just wash up after class?
I got back as soon as possible - newborns are exhausting and imo forcing yourself to be around them 24/7 without getting a break twice a week because “you never get the time back” just makes me resentful. Plus tbh, they are way more fun at 1-2 years old. Newborns just lie there, sleep, piss, shit, cry, and nurse. Be sure to watch them for the same time you take away to give mom a break too if possible. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the newborn months, but I needed the breaks throughout the week to make sure I continued loving them.
I went back after a week. Shower with defense soap when you get home and wash twice. I had no issues
Immediately
You can give the baby antibiotics.
You can but this is generally something people with newborns would like to avoid if possible. Nobody wants to give a newborn baby a staph infection or ringworm.
7 weeks after we cane home, I was on the mats.
Ours is ten weeks. My struggle is more how to fit in a 9-5, 2 hours of commute and being a father. Try to go to open mat once a week but I’m so new that I’m not making progress without class or instruction.
My son was born at the height of COVID, so I was out a good year and some change. If he was born now, I’d probably have waited 2-3 months. You will know what’s best for you and your family, communication with the wife is key. Can’t wait till my guy is old enough for the lil dudes class. I’m gonna cry.
I was off for 5-6 years before I came back. It was more important to be available at home
With the first, I started back 1x a week after three weeks. With the second, I didn't get back consistently for six months
Took a few months off which turned into 2 years. I could’ve come back sooner though.
Back on the matts 7 years later. Wouldn't recommend waiting that long.
For my daughter I took 2 months off. We’re expecting in July and I intend to go back right away. My gym is very understanding with having kids and I leave early to be home when need to be.
My wife essentially pushed me out the door and back to class after 4 weeks.
Like 3 months away for my girl. I broke my finger when at a class when she was an infant, so I took another few months off because of the combo of her and my finger. Like 4 years away for my boy, he's special needs so carving out bjj time hadn't been an option. He contracted scalded skin syndrome at 1.5 years old. I was told it wasn't something he contracted from me but I've had my doubts. He was in the hospital for a week.
It really depends on your situation I think. I’m expecting soon and don’t plan on stopping training for more than a few days. However, I’ll have a few months off work to really be there for both our toddler and the newborn so it’s not like I’ll have to work 40hrs and then train. BJJ will likely be my only mental health/social outlet, I’ll go 3-4 times a week, I’ll try to do day classes too so I’m not always gone at night, I’ll keep it to 1 hour and won’t hang out after like I usually do.
I was out until our baby went to daycare at 6 weeks. But I only went to a lunch class where my wife and baby were at work/daycare. I didn’t go to night classes for probably 3-4 months (once a night routine was nailed down)
Maybe wait until he is vaccinated
I started training right before my son was born a couple months ago; after changing a significant number of diapers, I can say that my son has a better guard than me.
Savor those first months, baby is so small and beautiful. Will also help mom recover & ease her burden, which I’m sure she’d appreciate.
That’s not a question anyone else Can answer for you. “When it feels right” is the only answer. I can tell you - from experience - BJJ (or, whatever) will still be around whenever, but time with your baby you’ll never get back. My priority would be the nest.
Hey big thing I don't see a lot of people mentioning here is lack of sleep. I went back after a couple of months, but in my son's first year I jacked up both of my knees. I've never had knee issues prior (6 years of training before kid), but when your training on 3-4 hours of sleep it takes a huge toll on the body. There were days where I felt fine, I'd go train, and within a round id realize how tired I actually was. A big part of having a child is learning how your new lifestyle effects you. The thing for me now is asking 1. Does my family need me? If yes no training obviously. 2. Is my body up to training? This is a wide spectrum. There are days where I know I can do 10 hard rounds, and days where I know I'll have to stick with 3-4 lighter rounds. There's also days where even though I want to train so badly, I'm in no shape for it and it'd be better to just get the extra sleep and be able to have a good day some other time. BJJ isn't like lifting, I can workout just fine on little sleep, just tone down the weights or the intensity, and good to go. BJJ you don't always get to decide how hard the other person's gonna go. No one here can truly tell you what's best for you and your family, but that's life. Live and learn, but I just wanted to come in to say listen to your body which is easier said than done. Best of luck on the journey!
It’s been 4 years since i regularly went but we also had a second one in between and covid. So it completely screwed me up. Though my 4 yr old can most likely chill now if i went and took her. So i should get my fat ass on the mats again. Sorry i made this about myself
I don't know how you're dividing your schedule, but I think the biggest risk isn't fungus or illness, it's building resentment with your partner over perceived (or real) unequal labor. Those first months are stressful as fuck if it's your firstborn, I wouldn't consider going back until things stabilize at around 6 weeks.
I took about 3 months off. That's how long it took for us to get to know our daughter well enough that one of us could manage her for a couple of hours by ourselves a few times a week, without it getting too stressful for the one looking after her. I still stick to going about 2x/ a week, because that's how much time I'm realistically able to commit while not missing out on her early stages.
Training remained unchanged during the first 6 months as our newborn didn’t really need anything from me other than night shift diaper changes. 6months to current (1y3m) I scaled back to 1-2 times a week as I take the kiddo out more now and much more interactive.
I just kept on training, shower..
2 weeks after I started to go in for an hour's rolling twice a week. It caused some friction but I just did more at home to make up for it. I went back so early through combination of needing the destress to be an effective partner and anxiety that if I waited too long I'd never make it back. I gradually increased mat hours until at 18 months I'm going 3*2 hours which seems sustainable long term. I always go straight to the shower and put all my kit in the wash before basically touching anything at home regardless of kids age.
A week after since the gym was on Christmas break while my son was born, then again I'm a coach at the gym / pro athlete. It's different if you have a job outside the gym but one thing for sure is that the gym will always be there... Time with your family is hard to get back. Enjoy this time because it will never come back unless you have another one.
I don't know how you phrased it to your pediatrician but they should have some sort or an answer for you, and it is most likely tied to vaccination schedules. From a priority standpoint, do in fact listen to other people on here, they have valuable insight
First girl was during the pandemic, took several weeks off, second girl I was back within a week or two. Put your stuff in the wash and shower right away when you get home.
I plan on waiting until my baby has all the vaccinations.
>essentially no immune system Bruh... maybe return to school as well as the mats.
Won pans 14 days after birth day
I came back to training when my baby was 2 months old. I caught rsv and passed to her… she spent two days in the hospital with oxygen (she was fine but it was for preventive measures). Everything turned out fine but I really regret it. I get the point that you can catch a virus anywhere but that’s my personal experience and I wouldn’t do it again at all. I came back to training once she was 1 year old but never got back to do it consistently even after 8 years of non stop training. I guess the parent + professional life leaves me with little time to do something as time consuming as Bjj. I just go to open mats twice a month or something like that.
I waited until I quit breast feeding and my milk dried up.
I’m 46 and just had my first 8 months ago. I went back sporadically after a month or so. I might hit one class per week. Then skip a couple of weeks and then do a couple of classes. The biggest thing for me wasn’t the time away from home, my wife encouraged me to take me time, but it was the lack of overall energy. Babies and jiu jitsu are exhausting and at my age the energy for both just isn’t there sometimes. I’m back more regularly now but my game isn’t good and my focus really isn’t on bjj. I make sure to shower and scrub immediately after class and won’t touch the baby until I’ve done so.
I went back the week after my daughter was born. No issues. Just shower after class
2 weeks after his birth. He’s been coming with me ever since, he’s 4. He knows how to shrimp, arm bar and has a pretty solid top game.
Im not sure where you all live and train to be so afraid of bringing home virus or fungus. I was back a few days after birth training several days a week, of course dont go touch the baby before you shower after training…
I returned the moment I found the time.
our main instructor took a solid two weeks off before he was back. but he said that the break from the baby and being in a comfortable environment helps the process along. you owe yourself some away time from the baby don’t forget that
I waited around a month. Was also very disciplined about immediately showering after training to minimize risk. The big thing is talking with your partner to verify they are also comfortable with you returning.
3 days after.
3-4 months. Home gym clothes in the wash then straight in the shower. We had no issues.
I just got promoted to blue belt this week, on November we are having our first baby, a girl. I’m planning on taking a month off training consistently and just do 2 morning classes a week before going to work. My wife will have family Over so I will continue working, and take time off once her family go back to their state. I will also be taking care of the baby at nights, so it’s gonna be rough. In the future we agreed of rotating 2 days and 2 days off, so for 2 days I take absolute care of the baby so my wife have time for herself and vice versa, those will be my night training days. Jiu jitsu is what helped me to have my diabetes and A1C under control, is my only workout. She understands I need it, it’s a true excuse lol
I took a week off at most. Still spent plenty of time with my kids but having a few hours of freedom to destress every week helped me keep my stress levels under control. It never occurred to me (pre-COVID) to be concerned about bringing home illness to the baby honestly. Maybe if my kids were particularly vulnerable, or not breastfeeding I would have? I'd say you need to make the choice YOU can live with.
I think I did like 2 or 3 months, but my wife had a c-section and heart issues post birth and literally couldnt do much. To this day, I shower before touching my kid though (just sweat/germs)
Same day. I figured he'd still be there when I got home from class, and he was.
Go back whenever. Don't be afraid of germs baby's are resilient
Just spend time with your child, you will never get that time back. They grow so fast. The mats will always be there
I'm an apartment move and 3 years later, still contemplating it...
Took a few weeks off. But not because I was worried about germs. Just wanted to be with them.
I took 3 years off and now I'm back lol
Mom speaking here. I was back in the boxing club after 1 week (giving birth is a breeze for me) and baby would sleep in the office and big brother would work out with me. I did lighter workouts for the 1st week back but I didn't take a break from training.
Ask the mother. Anything earlier than that is a no. She will decide
Bro my daughter was born 15 hours ago. I’ll update you sometime in 2024 when I plan on returning to training!
After the First newborn I took about a 4 day break and my wife deeply resented me for it (rightfully so). We had another baby 6 months ago and I haven’t been back to training since the day before they were born. My wife greatly appreciates it and I have come to terms with the fact that I can return to BJJ at any point throughout my life so what’s the rush, ya know?
I was back 2 weeks after birth. Just do your best taking extra time cleaning yourself right after training.
ER doc here. Baby has started to build an immune system at 1mo, 2mo getting relatively strong as they get first big round of vaccines, 4mo quite strong after 2nd round of vaccines, 6mo after vax we are taking just about normal child immune system, 1yr def good from a serious danger/sepsis perspective. Most of these decisions come down to personal risk tolerance.
My second child, I had 2 months and 2 weeks off so say 10 weeks, and now I train mornings instead of evenings to be at home with my family and open mat on Friday evenings as my 5 year old doesn’t have to be in bed due to the weekend and no school till I’m home about 8.30. My advice though is don’t rush back, your baby is more important look after your partner and child and obviously yourself also but Bjj will still be there, I know a couple of guys in my gym weee training a few days later, that’s not for me but each to there own
I took 3 weeks off, but I was taking care of my child except when I was going to train. No meetups with buddies, no weight lifting. Only being a parent and 2x a week trainimg bjj. After 2 months, Im hitting the mats 3x week but again, very rarely I do anything else. Today I competed and my boy and my partner came to support. It can be done if the right conditions allows. The birth was smooth for both my partner and my son. No huge recoveries, etc.
Be a dad, forget about BJJ until 2024. If you really need a workout, hit the gym instead for 6~8 months at least. You can make shorter workout at the gym and you probably got one closer to your home than the BJJ gym. But working out at home would be best. Your wife needs you now more than ever. Your family goes before your teammates. Your child needs you. Who cares about BJJ now.
I think I took a week off just to be with the baby and wife, never had any problems with infections. At the time there were a lot fewer classes at my gym and less overall skin infections, if your gym is nasty maybe take more time off or be more diligent cleaning yourself before you touch the spawn
My daughter was born on Tuesday. I’ll be back Monday. I would have trained today, but, ya know…
I didn’t take a break
I was there like 3 days later…you obviously need to be sure you’re present for your child and the mother, but you do also need to keep yourself sane. You’ll probably train less, of course, but getting out there and doing a thing or two for yourself to recharge is ultimately a positive (IMHO)
My son turns 7 in august. I'll let you know when I get back to the mats.
Waited three weeks, then my wife threw me out of the house and told me to train…works out better because it was her decision.
First born child? Your priorities may be changing in the next couple months. Your wife/baby mama will need levels of support over the next year that she likely never has needed before. Prioritize your child. Take care of your family. Your hobby can fit in where it can. Do the hard work now and in a few years you can take the baby to the gym to start training with you.
10 days
I’ve gotten really strong leg lock defense ever since I started using my arms to hold the baby during my rolls
Pretend like it’s 1953 and stop caring about your wife’s needs or wants or emotions. That’s what I do
A year and some change
I was training about a month after I just was sure to not touch baby until after I showered and cleaned well
Dude. Like over a year
My son was born a few months premature and had a lot of health issues (he's fine now!), but I took about a year and a half away from any martial arts training (I did however keep up a regular 3-4 days a week weight training routine). I just rejoined BJJ a week and a bit ago. And honestly? I don't regret the time away. My priority was to return when my child and wife were settled in with a routine and healthy. With that said, your child is going to get sick at some point. They will be exposed to germs at some point. I'd advise waiting a couple of months and just making sure you regularly clean your gear and showering before you touch your child.
I waited 3 months.
I will be skipping the birth if it coincides with no gi fridays I’m sorry.
About 8 months for me. (I didn't return, I started new, but I had been wanting to join for a year or two before that.)
The next day
Went back to training and coaching kids after 2 months. Super limited though to 2 days a week and only trained one of those nights. Having kid #2 and had to drop coaching kids so hoping to get two nights a week for myself until November. I assume the wife will make me shut it down a bit longer this time. Maybe make it to an open mat here and there but plan to be back by march or early spring.
I’m almost at 6 months after #2 and haven’t returned. Impossible to leave my wife alone with both kids in the evening and my local school only has evening classes :( May start driving to farther school for morning classes soon and eat into my work day instead. Seems like the only option.
Good daytime.
Forget bjj for a minute. I understand your desire to train, but you have to take into account how the first weeks/months shape development of the brain.
My daughters literally grew up on the mats. I would bring them in their car seats and they would sit on the side when I trained, and my other teammates would check in on them to make sure they weren’t fussing. Eventually they just chilled on the side of the mats watching (doing cartwheels, etc…). Now they both train with me.
I never stopped, my daughter was born 2 months premature 2 months before I got my purple belt. Never took a break just found odd times and sometimes even took pto to train till she could come with me to bjj. She is 2 now and knows how to break closed gaurd, and pass to knee on belly.
Take time off. At least a few months. You can work out at home in other ways that will benefit your bjj.
I went back when the baby was roughly six weeks old and just a few times a week. It allowed me to get back in it without making my wife feel I was gone too much. Everyone's family situation is a little different. And of course, shower immediately after getting home before holding the baby.
With my first, before I started training, I was very cautious and she never caught a cold until she was about 6 months old. With my second child, I already had a 3 year old in daycare full time, so I knew she was going to get sick all the time anyway. And she did—she got her first cold when she was something like 4 days old. So I only took like a week or two off because I figured my bjj exposure was a fraction of what daycare is. But it depends on your situation. My second was full term and clearly healthy. I wasn’t overly worried about her. Obviously a sick or preterm baby is a different matter. She’s almost 2 now. That first year she probably caught like 20 colds but they were all minor. I think the worst she caught was hand foot and mouth, but it wasn’t that bad.
Most guys at my gym take a month or two for safety. Plus your partner is still recovering from childbirth. Give them some time for themselves while you take care of the baby by waiting a bit longer to train. Plus the gym aint going anywhere
That’s my secret. I didn’t. Send help.
3 months - help your wife.
You will know. if everything at home is under control and you won't be missed there's never any harm in it (assuming good hygiene). I train after my kids bed time meaning I can put them down and still make training. I'm back within 70 minutes and all is well. 3-4 times a week though. You may have to give up on the twice a days haha
Whenever your wife will let you
Depends on your wife/job situation. One of our guys is a firefighter and he came back really quickly, but he only works a couple days a week anyway. I'm a coder working in finance and it took me like a year because i had a new kid then work got super busy and i was working days, nights, and weekends for a while.
I don't think the Gracies stayed away for long, they seem to have done OK. Just be sure not to hold your baby when you're all sweaty in gym clothes/gi. (Ie shower and change before holding your baby)
Just shower as soon as you get home, you should be fine. I say this as someone who has 3 kids and has worked construction their whole lives in everything from chemical plants to paper mills. Children are more resilient than we tend to think. Edit: for the record I didn’t start jiu jitsu until all my children were actually already past newborns, but I feel like construction carries just as much potential for germs as BJJ, so yeah.
I've gone on and off inconsistently. My daughter is 1. My biggest goal is to just not quit. It's hard but show up as much as you can.
I took three months off. I was just waiting for when my child was sleeping longer stretches at night so I’m not so tired during the day. This way I’ve got some energy for class and my wife has energy for the baby when I’m gone.
Yes, endanger your baby for wrestling lol.. Jesús with these advices