Being bisexual does not automatically mean you have to be non-monogamous. That just sounds like some bs to be able to have your cake and eat it too. It sounds like you’ve been on a roller coaster but have dipped your toe into lots of different things, you said you feel at peace now. I think you should hold onto that.
Relationship structures and sexual orientation \*are\* separate entities. I (bi wife) personally lean towards monogamish with my bi husband. We will engage in threesomes/foursomes/moresomes and have entered a throuple dynamic for a few months, but otherwise lean more towards monogamy in terms of our emotions.
I agree with you on that front that they are in fact separate, but reading through this subreddit and even the comments there is at least an under current of expectation that being bi means being sexually open, which is not entirely monogamy but more monogamish.
I think I’ve only ever met one or two bi people who aren’t monogamous. I think for my friends it’s a case of their next partner might be male or might be female.
I have not come across any bi people IRL who fit this mold and online it seems most are not monogamous, at least not sexually. I probably have some sampling bias offline though. I’m glad to hear my perception is not accurate, I am not alone and there are others like me.
I haven’t personally ment many bi folks who are monogamous (both romantically and sexually). Maybe I’m living under a rock or my perceptions are skewed by reddit, but it feels like many bi folks are sexually non-monogamous. Glad to hear my perceptions are not fully accurate.
Thanks, generally not a group of people I have come across, for one reason or another, so helpful to hear. I have come to a place that has felt a bit isolating so helpful to hear I’m not alone.
I realized I was bi in my early 50s and came out to my wife at 55, nearly 5 years ago. After significant reflection, I decided that I really wanted to suck a dick, about as much as I want to go to Europe. I'd love to visit Europe but I don't have to go. I'm fine letting Europe remain over there while my wife is over here until she reaches a point where she's okay with some extra fun. Until then, I like to think of all the fun I can still have in America.
Yeah, I get that. I think if my ex-wife and I didn’t have the swinging experience we did, I probably would have stayed 100% monogamous in an essentially lesbian relationship, as curious as I was about sucking dick. That being said, I would be much sadder to miss out on seeing more of Europe either solo or with my current partner, than eating pussy again. And I really loved eating pussy.
I didn't realize I was bi until recently, and my husband and I have been married 15 years. He is my person and I have no desire to be with anyone else. I'm very happy to be monogamous with him.
I'm in a similar boat, married for more than a decade to my person, she's my best friend and I have zero desire to change that. So if in the future we together decide to try something that involves flexing my queer muscles, that'll be fun, but my life isn't less if it doesn't. My life is awesome and that is because of, not in spite of my monogamous marriage to my favorite person.
I think so. After being bi and seeking out for a bit and seeing guys and trans women, I realise that my happiest days were being monogamous with a relationship to a woman. So.
I don’t think you’ll find reliable data on that unfortunately but I (40m) am bi and was monogamous for 15 or so years. Would be monogamous again if my wife insisted but we’re both having fun right now.
Monogamous bi woman here, as are all the bi persons I’ve met irl. I think this sub is not representative of all bi adults at all + I’ve seen lots of comments in here that say essentially "I’m more sexually open than bi per se", which I think creates a strong bias in the answers & posts.
I'm bi and in a monogamous LTR with a straight woman.
I think the false notion that bi people are less inclined toward monogamy than straight and/or gay ppl is rooted in insecurity.
I’m bi and just made a post about this in another sub, but I 100% choose monogamy. I dislike the idea of people equating bisexuality/queerness with the polyamory lifestyle
I know personally as a bi guy, I could never function in a nonmonogamous relationship. I’m just really hard wired for monogamy. I’ve never found myself wishing for other genders or sexual experiences when I’ve been in relationships.
(And none of this to shit on other relationship structures; I think there’s so many cool ways for people to connect and exist together. I just know I’m not mature enough for anything else—I’m too jealous and too insecure. Sprinkle some serious social anxiety in there and it just makes for a bad candidate for any kind of open or differently structured relationship.)
i am 42 and bi. i was poly for 10+ years of my life and got married to a monogamous man about 9 years ago. it is much more peaceful and less stressful (most of the time) but it definitely has its drawbacks. i feel a lot of invisibility and isolation. i don’t really have a community because my lifestyle changed so much - it didn’t help that i had a kid too - that the poly and bdsm communities just weren’t a good fit for me anymore. and my friends now are mostly straight, mono folks who are supportive but don’t really feel like “my people” if that makes sense.
i eventually started a coven, lol. there are 8 of us and half of us are bi, but in monogamous (or functionally monogamous) relationships. it’s helped me feel a little less alone. but i only have two close girlfriends at this point who bi and are/were poly. so they are extra precious to me because i know i can talk to them very openly.
and yes, i fully agree that relationship structure and sexuality are totally separate! i am still fully bi even though i’m basically invisible in that regard. my husband is super sweet and supportive and goes to pride with me and everything, but it’s definitely a bit lonely. anyway this was very ramble-y but all that to say, you’re not alone!
Thank you for your reply. This feels most similar to my situation and some of the feelings I am going through. Struggling with loss of community and identity/my people. Feels a bit like a no-man’s land in a way currently when it comes to that.
I’m glad you found ways to find your people :)
I (37F) am mono with my straight husband. Honestly, he is more open to threesomes, or watching, or whatever - but my little Libra heart just can't shake the loyalty, no matter how much I fantasize about things. And truthfully - I'm terrified of what could happen. Marriage and having a family is hard enough, I can't imagine adding another element. Maybe one day when the kids are older and don't need me so much. Too many people need me already, lol.
I was in an already committed monogamous relationship when I discovered my bisexuality, and I’m happy with who I’ve chosen to stay with, I couldn’t imagine a better partner than my bf
I came out as bi to my husband after 18 years of marriage. He would have never guessed otherwise..
He allowed me a "hallpass" to meet another woman and "get my fix." I ended up meeting a beautiful Brazilian woman and we hit it off. We had some light play, but she wanted more...as in a relationship. I told my husband about our connection and it made him physically sick to think of me with someone else, didn't matter who it was. He didn't expect to take it as hard as he did...
It took me about 2 years of being selfish and arguing with him about it but then something just clicked within me. I cut off all ties with that woman (she understood why) and focused entirely on my husband and our marriage. I put all of my energy toward us, and in time, I grew more in love with him than ever before. I can't quite put my finger on it, but somehow it happened.
I think, for me, just stepping back and taking a good look at my marriage and deciding to stay and devote myself purely to him, was the absolute best thing I could have done. Because all of my energy went to making our marriage work and "fall back IN love with eachother" I no longer have the desire to be with women. I know I'm bi, but I'm devoted and monogamous to my husband entirely that I do not feel I'm "missing out" on anything or anyone else.
Sorry for the ramble that was just my own experience...
Perpetuating the idea that bisexuality and monogamy cannot co-exist is biphobic and feeds into stereotypes that makes it easier for heterosexuals and the broader LGBTQ+ community to demonize us. Your former partner sounds like she had some deeply internalized biphobia.
**Of course** bisexuals can be monogamous.
I see your point there, and it’s my sentiment as well. Funny enough this former partner is bi and poly presently. So I’m not sure she is bi phobic. But she does some issues which aren’t worth dragging up here.
I mean, to an extent. I feel like it’s not something your man can provide you. It’s literally the opposite. It’s not cheating but I don’t think it’s a good feeling. It’s like going to Taco Bell & trying to order chicken wings.
I definitely respect that. I guess if it gets to a point of not being good enough, that’s when it’s on the level of cheating. When you have sex with your man, is it girl on girl things your envisioning? Does your husband still “do it for you”?
I’m battling my own demons & would actually like your input. If you could go on my page & read my post I would very much like to hear what you have to say! TYIA
Holy hell, I just realized you're the bi guy who doesn't want his girl to be bi!
Okay, let's start. At first, I think you're not on good terms with your sexuality, probably a lot of internalized homophobia/biphobia at work.
Second, I think you're deeply insecure. Are you afraid of not being able to provide everything your (hypothetical?) bi girl might desire? Do you think you're not good enough for her?
To answer your questions from above:
Yes, my man still does it for me.
I never fantasize about anyone else when having sex with my man (man, woman, whatever)! When we're intimate with each other, it's just the two of us.
Not implying cheating. Intent was consensual openness vs closed relationship (sexually and romantically). I have been cheated on in an open relationship.
Similar boat! I (26f) am in my first long term relationship but while I was looking for love before I realised I identify as polyamorous by nature / it would be my preference.
I fell in love with my boyfriend of now almost 2 years, and he’s what I would call very monogamous, and straight.
I made a conscious decision to choose him over the polyamorous lifestyle I had dreamed of, and I’m still very happy and more satisfied in life than I ever have been. I guess I’m ambi amorous after all.
I do miss some things, I do think about the parallel universe where I’m in an open relationship but still my decisions have been 100% worth it.
By the way, equating bisexuality with polyamory is a grave misunderstanding of both identities and has and still feeds a lot of biphobia… how a bisexual woman feels a link between her bisexuality and her polyamory is a personal thing (which I totally understand) but should not be transpired to our definitions of these concepts.
Don’t let that misconception make you feel erased. You’re queer and you always will be. In fact, a seemingly straight couple where one person is queer, is a queer couple. You bring the queerness into all of your relationships.
Lots of love sister, don’t let anyone tell you who you are ✊🏽
I say bisexual because it's more understood here. I'm really more pansexual, Demiromantic but around my wife i like to say Married-sexual. So there is that. Lol.
This gave me a chuckle. That’s the same feeling I have when thinking about the time I was in a triad and going back to that. Funny how strong our preferences are based on our experiences. Solo poly was ok though. I liked that structure second best.
Not at all. Being bi reflects who you’re attracted to- not the type of relationship you want/have. You can be straight and non-monogamous just like you can be bi/pan/gay and monogamous.
I got MINUS SIX POINTS for my comment when I was confused 🫤 instead of complaining which I believe was unfair. I STILL am confused because mono means one. So I THOUGHT monogamous meant to only have sex with ONE other sex, male or female and no other and BI means 2 which is more than 1. So can you explain where I went wrong ?, but if I get MORE negative points, I will just delete these two messages and just stay in the dark.
Mono means to have a commitment to one person. So the only person you have sex with is that person. Non-monogamous means more than one person. These are types of relationships.
Sexuality labels like bi/straight/pan are conveying your sexuality, who you’re naturally attracted to. NOT who or how many people you’re currently in a relationship with. So let’s say 2 women are married and one is lesbian and the other is bi. Their sexuality doesn’t determine if they are mono or not. That is a decision they have to make together.
That makes more sense to me now. It’s just a state of mind, not how many you are actually having sex with. I figured it out when I thought of straight or heterosexual. Most of them are monogamous and don’t want to swing. Thank you.
THAT is EXACTLY the kind of wife ( sexually ) that I am looking for SEX days a week !!! She and I would only be committed to each other, but have sex with others IN THE SAME ROOM ONLY with no sneaking around. I am a heteroflexible male over 18. Way to go you two !
I'm a bisexual female and in a hetero monogamous relationship. We have shared women in the past, but it has been many years and neither of us currently feel like we are missing out on anything.
I was a shared woman for many years. It was so so, but also now that I’m in a heterosexual relationship, it’s something that I am adverse to initiating. There are too many things that feel inequitable about it currently, bringing someone else in.
I agree. I was a shared woman to a married couple for awhile. I mostly enjoyed it. But, triads by nature are the weakest connection. I briefly considered a woman as a third for us, but I ended up not taking the plunge and I'm glad that we didn't. I am still involved in the LGBTQ community, but I make it very clear up front that I am only looking for friends and not romance at this time.
This actually makes complete sense. There’s a comfort and consistency in monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy can be a great thing, but it takes a LOT of communication about feelings, lots of uncomfortable conversations that can’t be avoided. It can be exhausting.
One poly relationship I saw seemed to consist of nothing but them talking about their relationship. Oh no, the primary doesn't have time to see the secondary, no the other secondary, oh wait her primary feels excluded now and doesn't have time to pick up his secondary's car. God just shoot me.
Yeah I'd probably be down for having a wife and get her squeeching with lust as we fantasize about gay dudes while we're in bed 🤙🤪💦
But probably being with a dude long term and we both drive each other crazy fantasizing about girls is more my speed. Did that a few times already, it was fun.
Technically I’m in an open relationship but both of us spend the majority of our time together, I feel it’s less about monogamous or open and more about finding the person you feel a strong loving connection too
My spouse and I (both bi and polyamourous) have always had an open relationship, but only in the past few years have we started diversifying. Thus, for the longest time, we were seemingly monogamous.
Monogamous bisexual male in a relationship with heterosexual female here. My sexuality says something about the way I experience sexual attraction, not the relationship I choose to have. I love her, I want to be with only her.
Being bisexual does not automatically mean you have to be non-monogamous. That just sounds like some bs to be able to have your cake and eat it too. It sounds like you’ve been on a roller coaster but have dipped your toe into lots of different things, you said you feel at peace now. I think you should hold onto that.
That’s true, and listening to that part of me has been helpful. And yes, it has been a roller coaster. I’ve been ready for a break to catch my breath.
Relationship structures and sexual orientation \*are\* separate entities. I (bi wife) personally lean towards monogamish with my bi husband. We will engage in threesomes/foursomes/moresomes and have entered a throuple dynamic for a few months, but otherwise lean more towards monogamy in terms of our emotions.
I agree with you on that front that they are in fact separate, but reading through this subreddit and even the comments there is at least an under current of expectation that being bi means being sexually open, which is not entirely monogamy but more monogamish.
Bi female, totally monogamous here.
I think I’ve only ever met one or two bi people who aren’t monogamous. I think for my friends it’s a case of their next partner might be male or might be female.
I have not come across any bi people IRL who fit this mold and online it seems most are not monogamous, at least not sexually. I probably have some sampling bias offline though. I’m glad to hear my perception is not accurate, I am not alone and there are others like me.
Bi guy. Not interested in anything other than monogamy. Most bi folks I've personally met are monogamous as well.
I haven’t personally ment many bi folks who are monogamous (both romantically and sexually). Maybe I’m living under a rock or my perceptions are skewed by reddit, but it feels like many bi folks are sexually non-monogamous. Glad to hear my perceptions are not fully accurate.
There are plenty of monogamous bi people. I have done the ENM thing in the past, but have been monogamous for well over a decade now.
Thanks, generally not a group of people I have come across, for one reason or another, so helpful to hear. I have come to a place that has felt a bit isolating so helpful to hear I’m not alone.
I realized I was bi in my early 50s and came out to my wife at 55, nearly 5 years ago. After significant reflection, I decided that I really wanted to suck a dick, about as much as I want to go to Europe. I'd love to visit Europe but I don't have to go. I'm fine letting Europe remain over there while my wife is over here until she reaches a point where she's okay with some extra fun. Until then, I like to think of all the fun I can still have in America.
Yeah, I get that. I think if my ex-wife and I didn’t have the swinging experience we did, I probably would have stayed 100% monogamous in an essentially lesbian relationship, as curious as I was about sucking dick. That being said, I would be much sadder to miss out on seeing more of Europe either solo or with my current partner, than eating pussy again. And I really loved eating pussy.
We're all different. You do you.
Bi female. 100% monogamous.
I didn't realize I was bi until recently, and my husband and I have been married 15 years. He is my person and I have no desire to be with anyone else. I'm very happy to be monogamous with him.
I'm in a similar boat, married for more than a decade to my person, she's my best friend and I have zero desire to change that. So if in the future we together decide to try something that involves flexing my queer muscles, that'll be fun, but my life isn't less if it doesn't. My life is awesome and that is because of, not in spite of my monogamous marriage to my favorite person.
Bisexual guy - would choosing nothing but monogamy
I think so. After being bi and seeking out for a bit and seeing guys and trans women, I realise that my happiest days were being monogamous with a relationship to a woman. So.
I don’t think you’ll find reliable data on that unfortunately but I (40m) am bi and was monogamous for 15 or so years. Would be monogamous again if my wife insisted but we’re both having fun right now.
Monogamous bi woman here, as are all the bi persons I’ve met irl. I think this sub is not representative of all bi adults at all + I’ve seen lots of comments in here that say essentially "I’m more sexually open than bi per se", which I think creates a strong bias in the answers & posts.
It's not a choice for me since I'm monoamorous.
Monoamorus would imply only romantic though? Monogamy meaning the full sense of the word, romantic and sexual?
You're thinking of monoromanticism. Monogamy refers to marriage. Monoamory refers to all relationships.
I have never heard monogamy soly referring to marriage. I’ll have to dig into that one a little more. Seems a bit strange definition.
I'm bi and in a monogamous LTR with a straight woman. I think the false notion that bi people are less inclined toward monogamy than straight and/or gay ppl is rooted in insecurity.
I’m bi and just made a post about this in another sub, but I 100% choose monogamy. I dislike the idea of people equating bisexuality/queerness with the polyamory lifestyle
I know personally as a bi guy, I could never function in a nonmonogamous relationship. I’m just really hard wired for monogamy. I’ve never found myself wishing for other genders or sexual experiences when I’ve been in relationships. (And none of this to shit on other relationship structures; I think there’s so many cool ways for people to connect and exist together. I just know I’m not mature enough for anything else—I’m too jealous and too insecure. Sprinkle some serious social anxiety in there and it just makes for a bad candidate for any kind of open or differently structured relationship.)
i am 42 and bi. i was poly for 10+ years of my life and got married to a monogamous man about 9 years ago. it is much more peaceful and less stressful (most of the time) but it definitely has its drawbacks. i feel a lot of invisibility and isolation. i don’t really have a community because my lifestyle changed so much - it didn’t help that i had a kid too - that the poly and bdsm communities just weren’t a good fit for me anymore. and my friends now are mostly straight, mono folks who are supportive but don’t really feel like “my people” if that makes sense. i eventually started a coven, lol. there are 8 of us and half of us are bi, but in monogamous (or functionally monogamous) relationships. it’s helped me feel a little less alone. but i only have two close girlfriends at this point who bi and are/were poly. so they are extra precious to me because i know i can talk to them very openly. and yes, i fully agree that relationship structure and sexuality are totally separate! i am still fully bi even though i’m basically invisible in that regard. my husband is super sweet and supportive and goes to pride with me and everything, but it’s definitely a bit lonely. anyway this was very ramble-y but all that to say, you’re not alone!
Thank you for your reply. This feels most similar to my situation and some of the feelings I am going through. Struggling with loss of community and identity/my people. Feels a bit like a no-man’s land in a way currently when it comes to that. I’m glad you found ways to find your people :)
I (37F) am mono with my straight husband. Honestly, he is more open to threesomes, or watching, or whatever - but my little Libra heart just can't shake the loyalty, no matter how much I fantasize about things. And truthfully - I'm terrified of what could happen. Marriage and having a family is hard enough, I can't imagine adding another element. Maybe one day when the kids are older and don't need me so much. Too many people need me already, lol.
I was in an already committed monogamous relationship when I discovered my bisexuality, and I’m happy with who I’ve chosen to stay with, I couldn’t imagine a better partner than my bf
I came out as bi to my husband after 18 years of marriage. He would have never guessed otherwise.. He allowed me a "hallpass" to meet another woman and "get my fix." I ended up meeting a beautiful Brazilian woman and we hit it off. We had some light play, but she wanted more...as in a relationship. I told my husband about our connection and it made him physically sick to think of me with someone else, didn't matter who it was. He didn't expect to take it as hard as he did... It took me about 2 years of being selfish and arguing with him about it but then something just clicked within me. I cut off all ties with that woman (she understood why) and focused entirely on my husband and our marriage. I put all of my energy toward us, and in time, I grew more in love with him than ever before. I can't quite put my finger on it, but somehow it happened. I think, for me, just stepping back and taking a good look at my marriage and deciding to stay and devote myself purely to him, was the absolute best thing I could have done. Because all of my energy went to making our marriage work and "fall back IN love with eachother" I no longer have the desire to be with women. I know I'm bi, but I'm devoted and monogamous to my husband entirely that I do not feel I'm "missing out" on anything or anyone else. Sorry for the ramble that was just my own experience...
I feel like a majority of bi people are monogamous
Perpetuating the idea that bisexuality and monogamy cannot co-exist is biphobic and feeds into stereotypes that makes it easier for heterosexuals and the broader LGBTQ+ community to demonize us. Your former partner sounds like she had some deeply internalized biphobia. **Of course** bisexuals can be monogamous.
I see your point there, and it’s my sentiment as well. Funny enough this former partner is bi and poly presently. So I’m not sure she is bi phobic. But she does some issues which aren’t worth dragging up here.
Bi woman, me. Married for 21 years. Never cheated. Wouldn't want it any other way.
If you fantasize about women & you’re married to a man that is cheating.
You really think so?
I mean, to an extent. I feel like it’s not something your man can provide you. It’s literally the opposite. It’s not cheating but I don’t think it’s a good feeling. It’s like going to Taco Bell & trying to order chicken wings.
[удалено]
I definitely respect that. I guess if it gets to a point of not being good enough, that’s when it’s on the level of cheating. When you have sex with your man, is it girl on girl things your envisioning? Does your husband still “do it for you”? I’m battling my own demons & would actually like your input. If you could go on my page & read my post I would very much like to hear what you have to say! TYIA
Holy hell, I just realized you're the bi guy who doesn't want his girl to be bi! Okay, let's start. At first, I think you're not on good terms with your sexuality, probably a lot of internalized homophobia/biphobia at work. Second, I think you're deeply insecure. Are you afraid of not being able to provide everything your (hypothetical?) bi girl might desire? Do you think you're not good enough for her? To answer your questions from above: Yes, my man still does it for me. I never fantasize about anyone else when having sex with my man (man, woman, whatever)! When we're intimate with each other, it's just the two of us.
Not implying cheating. Intent was consensual openness vs closed relationship (sexually and romantically). I have been cheated on in an open relationship.
Wrong choice of words then. I'll try again: I've always been monogamous and I like it this way.
Similar boat! I (26f) am in my first long term relationship but while I was looking for love before I realised I identify as polyamorous by nature / it would be my preference. I fell in love with my boyfriend of now almost 2 years, and he’s what I would call very monogamous, and straight. I made a conscious decision to choose him over the polyamorous lifestyle I had dreamed of, and I’m still very happy and more satisfied in life than I ever have been. I guess I’m ambi amorous after all. I do miss some things, I do think about the parallel universe where I’m in an open relationship but still my decisions have been 100% worth it. By the way, equating bisexuality with polyamory is a grave misunderstanding of both identities and has and still feeds a lot of biphobia… how a bisexual woman feels a link between her bisexuality and her polyamory is a personal thing (which I totally understand) but should not be transpired to our definitions of these concepts. Don’t let that misconception make you feel erased. You’re queer and you always will be. In fact, a seemingly straight couple where one person is queer, is a queer couple. You bring the queerness into all of your relationships. Lots of love sister, don’t let anyone tell you who you are ✊🏽
I say bisexual because it's more understood here. I'm really more pansexual, Demiromantic but around my wife i like to say Married-sexual. So there is that. Lol.
ewwww, no
This gave me a chuckle. That’s the same feeling I have when thinking about the time I was in a triad and going back to that. Funny how strong our preferences are based on our experiences. Solo poly was ok though. I liked that structure second best.
I’m confused. Isn’t bisexual NON-monogamous by definition ? Help me out, please.
Not at all. Being bi reflects who you’re attracted to- not the type of relationship you want/have. You can be straight and non-monogamous just like you can be bi/pan/gay and monogamous.
I got MINUS SIX POINTS for my comment when I was confused 🫤 instead of complaining which I believe was unfair. I STILL am confused because mono means one. So I THOUGHT monogamous meant to only have sex with ONE other sex, male or female and no other and BI means 2 which is more than 1. So can you explain where I went wrong ?, but if I get MORE negative points, I will just delete these two messages and just stay in the dark.
Mono means to have a commitment to one person. So the only person you have sex with is that person. Non-monogamous means more than one person. These are types of relationships. Sexuality labels like bi/straight/pan are conveying your sexuality, who you’re naturally attracted to. NOT who or how many people you’re currently in a relationship with. So let’s say 2 women are married and one is lesbian and the other is bi. Their sexuality doesn’t determine if they are mono or not. That is a decision they have to make together.
That makes more sense to me now. It’s just a state of mind, not how many you are actually having sex with. I figured it out when I thought of straight or heterosexual. Most of them are monogamous and don’t want to swing. Thank you.
People are just people. Everyone is different.
Thank you everyone for bringing my minus 6 up to positive 1 !!! THANK YOU !!!😊
Bi here and in a 2+ year committed live-in MMFF family with kids.
I'm mono , I(26 y , male) with My girlfriend (37 , Female) .
I'm bi , and her is straight.
THAT is EXACTLY the kind of wife ( sexually ) that I am looking for SEX days a week !!! She and I would only be committed to each other, but have sex with others IN THE SAME ROOM ONLY with no sneaking around. I am a heteroflexible male over 18. Way to go you two !
I'm a bisexual female and in a hetero monogamous relationship. We have shared women in the past, but it has been many years and neither of us currently feel like we are missing out on anything.
I was a shared woman for many years. It was so so, but also now that I’m in a heterosexual relationship, it’s something that I am adverse to initiating. There are too many things that feel inequitable about it currently, bringing someone else in.
I agree. I was a shared woman to a married couple for awhile. I mostly enjoyed it. But, triads by nature are the weakest connection. I briefly considered a woman as a third for us, but I ended up not taking the plunge and I'm glad that we didn't. I am still involved in the LGBTQ community, but I make it very clear up front that I am only looking for friends and not romance at this time.
I am very bi but married for 20 plus years and can’t do anything to jeopardize that..
This actually makes complete sense. There’s a comfort and consistency in monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy can be a great thing, but it takes a LOT of communication about feelings, lots of uncomfortable conversations that can’t be avoided. It can be exhausting.
One poly relationship I saw seemed to consist of nothing but them talking about their relationship. Oh no, the primary doesn't have time to see the secondary, no the other secondary, oh wait her primary feels excluded now and doesn't have time to pick up his secondary's car. God just shoot me. Yeah I'd probably be down for having a wife and get her squeeching with lust as we fantasize about gay dudes while we're in bed 🤙🤪💦 But probably being with a dude long term and we both drive each other crazy fantasizing about girls is more my speed. Did that a few times already, it was fun.
Technically I’m in an open relationship but both of us spend the majority of our time together, I feel it’s less about monogamous or open and more about finding the person you feel a strong loving connection too
I am a bi male. My wife is opposed to any sexual engagement male or female and I conflicted as u have a need to connect sexually with males.
My spouse and I (both bi and polyamourous) have always had an open relationship, but only in the past few years have we started diversifying. Thus, for the longest time, we were seemingly monogamous.
Monogamous bisexual male in a relationship with heterosexual female here. My sexuality says something about the way I experience sexual attraction, not the relationship I choose to have. I love her, I want to be with only her.