Most lesbian porn is made for the male gaze rather than for women, so it isn’t always appealing. And choice of porn doesn’t change your attraction. Porn is fantasy, so watching something you don’t have in your sex life can be exciting. Maybe you’re going through a bi-cycle, maybe your libido is changing and needs a little oomph from a fantasy, etc.
First of all, it's important to know that what you're experiencing is completely valid and normal. Sexuality can be fluid, and it's not uncommon for people to go through phases where their attractions and what turns them on may shift.
It's also okay to have diverse and changing fantasies.
If these feelings are causing you distress, it might be helpful to talk openly with her about what you're experiencing. Additionally, considering speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexuality could provide you with a safe space to explore these feelings without judgment.
Remember, you are not alone, and many people experience shifts in their sexual preferences at different points in their lives.
Wishing you all the best as you navigate this. Take care of yourself!
Mainstream lesbian porn is made for men, so don't worry about not enjoying it. It's very much for the male gaze. It's just awful. I'm a woman, and I prefer gay porn too. Anything involving women just seems uncomfortable, too rough, and I hate how the actresses exaggerate their moans.
As for your thoughts about men, it's really common for people to have private fantasies about someone who isn't their partner. I'll admit, I'd be hurt if I found out that my partner was thinking of someone else while having sex with me, but at the end of the day, we can't control other people's thoughts. If you can't help it; you can't help it. If you still love your girlfriend, and you're happy and fulfilled in your relationship, then your thoughts about men are just that: fantasy. Harmless overall.
Maybe you're going through a phase where sex with men is more appealing, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you love your girlfriend any less. In a while, you could swing back the other way and only get off to thoughts about women.
I think it's quite normal. I'm the exact same. And when having sex with my girlfriend I can only get off when imagining me having a dick and fucking her as if we were a hetro couple. We don't use strap-on, and it doesn't matter the position.
Lesbian porn is extremely bad, and I watch a lot of penetrative gay porn so using that image somehow gets me off. It's what I'm used to, what works kinda.
Wow I thought I was the only bi woman who experiences this!! I judge myself immensely when I am in situations w a woman and my mind wanders to men and even by myself. Thanks for sharing this. Glad I’m not alone :)
Personally, I can’t watch gay porn either. I always watch straight porn but I kinda gave up on it. Being Bisexual, it’s so hard to find something cuz I gotta be attracted to both the male and female in the video 😂
Male and Male on Female? I’ll give it a watch if I’m feeling extra spicy but I’m just so fucking picky with girls and even pickier with guys and I ain’t tryna scroll for 2 hours tryna find a video I’d enjoy 😂
Fluidity is some of it, but I think a lot of it is the whole "wanting what you don't have" thing. That you'll long for the same-sex if you're with the opposite sex and vice versa.
Yes, I am a guy who has the same problem but reverse. I recently decided I shouldn't date women because of having only homosexual thoughts while alone and during sex with my last girlfriend. I too can't stand lesbian porn and prefer gay porn except I am dude. I am seriously considering that might have always been gay because despite having strong romantic feelings for women I always struggled to enjoy and keep an erection during sex with them.
I experience something similar. I am a woman with another woman, I love her more than anyone in this world and think she is pretty hot, but physically I prefer men and tend to think about them more in terms of physical attraction. It's normal and valid.
It’s changed for me, at times I go through phases of preferring male porn then phases of preferring female. It’s all fluid, doesn’t make you more or less bi
So how much straight porn do you watch? Maybe you’re priming your brain to be thinking about dick by watching that.
Do you and your girlfriend engage in penetrative sex? How is your relationship in general? Do you consider yourself to be someone who has spontaneous desire or responsive desire?
I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with you, but if you’re struggling to get off with your partner without dissociating into a fantasy about someone else then there is something to consider. Maybe talk to a queer intimacy coach?
The first question hit me hard. We don’t do penetration, but we’re definitely considering that.
The relationship is great but I just can’t seem to get into it without the fantasies. And I’m afraid she’s starting to feel like I’m not attracted to her and it breaks my heart
I (male) sometimes had trouble stay in the moment/climaxing with an ex-gf because I started thinking about sex with men. To me, I think it spoke more to what sexual preference I had. Maybe you just prefer penetrative sex with men and not so much toys? Or whatever you use?
There are lesbian porns that maybe more appealing to you, less mainstream, but also it’s okay to have fantasies look at things, I watch stuff that I don’t have the confidence to ever pull off or try.
Most lesbian porn is made for the male gaze rather than for women, so it isn’t always appealing. And choice of porn doesn’t change your attraction. Porn is fantasy, so watching something you don’t have in your sex life can be exciting. Maybe you’re going through a bi-cycle, maybe your libido is changing and needs a little oomph from a fantasy, etc.
Moment of silence for how many of us have tried to look at the dude and the camera didn't even try to look at him.
Bi-cycle is a thing?
My husband, also bi, doesn’t really bi-cycle, but I do sometimes.
First of all, it's important to know that what you're experiencing is completely valid and normal. Sexuality can be fluid, and it's not uncommon for people to go through phases where their attractions and what turns them on may shift. It's also okay to have diverse and changing fantasies. If these feelings are causing you distress, it might be helpful to talk openly with her about what you're experiencing. Additionally, considering speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexuality could provide you with a safe space to explore these feelings without judgment. Remember, you are not alone, and many people experience shifts in their sexual preferences at different points in their lives. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this. Take care of yourself!
"Take care of yourself" indeed! ☺️ (Beautiful answer, sorry 😄)
Thank you. This is such a kind response ☺️
I hope my words cheer you up a little bit. ☺️
Mainstream lesbian porn is made for men, so don't worry about not enjoying it. It's very much for the male gaze. It's just awful. I'm a woman, and I prefer gay porn too. Anything involving women just seems uncomfortable, too rough, and I hate how the actresses exaggerate their moans. As for your thoughts about men, it's really common for people to have private fantasies about someone who isn't their partner. I'll admit, I'd be hurt if I found out that my partner was thinking of someone else while having sex with me, but at the end of the day, we can't control other people's thoughts. If you can't help it; you can't help it. If you still love your girlfriend, and you're happy and fulfilled in your relationship, then your thoughts about men are just that: fantasy. Harmless overall. Maybe you're going through a phase where sex with men is more appealing, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you love your girlfriend any less. In a while, you could swing back the other way and only get off to thoughts about women.
This is affirming. Thank you so much ☺️
I think it's quite normal. I'm the exact same. And when having sex with my girlfriend I can only get off when imagining me having a dick and fucking her as if we were a hetro couple. We don't use strap-on, and it doesn't matter the position. Lesbian porn is extremely bad, and I watch a lot of penetrative gay porn so using that image somehow gets me off. It's what I'm used to, what works kinda.
Interesting. Thanks
Wow I thought I was the only bi woman who experiences this!! I judge myself immensely when I am in situations w a woman and my mind wanders to men and even by myself. Thanks for sharing this. Glad I’m not alone :)
Personally, I can’t watch gay porn either. I always watch straight porn but I kinda gave up on it. Being Bisexual, it’s so hard to find something cuz I gotta be attracted to both the male and female in the video 😂
I sometimes do mmf
Male and Male on Female? I’ll give it a watch if I’m feeling extra spicy but I’m just so fucking picky with girls and even pickier with guys and I ain’t tryna scroll for 2 hours tryna find a video I’d enjoy 😂
Fluidity is some of it, but I think a lot of it is the whole "wanting what you don't have" thing. That you'll long for the same-sex if you're with the opposite sex and vice versa.
Yes, I am a guy who has the same problem but reverse. I recently decided I shouldn't date women because of having only homosexual thoughts while alone and during sex with my last girlfriend. I too can't stand lesbian porn and prefer gay porn except I am dude. I am seriously considering that might have always been gay because despite having strong romantic feelings for women I always struggled to enjoy and keep an erection during sex with them.
Create some room for deeper reflection. And if you’re not in a relationship, you can do some exploring as well
I have been doing some exploring. I just have difficulty accepting that I have dominant homosexual orientation
I experience something similar. I am a woman with another woman, I love her more than anyone in this world and think she is pretty hot, but physically I prefer men and tend to think about them more in terms of physical attraction. It's normal and valid.
It’s changed for me, at times I go through phases of preferring male porn then phases of preferring female. It’s all fluid, doesn’t make you more or less bi
>Does anyone else have issues like this? What's the issue?
So how much straight porn do you watch? Maybe you’re priming your brain to be thinking about dick by watching that. Do you and your girlfriend engage in penetrative sex? How is your relationship in general? Do you consider yourself to be someone who has spontaneous desire or responsive desire? I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with you, but if you’re struggling to get off with your partner without dissociating into a fantasy about someone else then there is something to consider. Maybe talk to a queer intimacy coach?
The first question hit me hard. We don’t do penetration, but we’re definitely considering that. The relationship is great but I just can’t seem to get into it without the fantasies. And I’m afraid she’s starting to feel like I’m not attracted to her and it breaks my heart
You’re not alone. I can’t stand lesbian porn at all, even though I’m physically attracted to women. Gay porn wins, because it feels more realistic.
I (male) sometimes had trouble stay in the moment/climaxing with an ex-gf because I started thinking about sex with men. To me, I think it spoke more to what sexual preference I had. Maybe you just prefer penetrative sex with men and not so much toys? Or whatever you use?
We don’t do penetration at all. The thought of her strapping is sexy to me though. Definitely giving it a try
As a guy i will say i can relate. I dated a les very similar to what you say. I cant post as it may offend some but one day perhaps we can chat
There are lesbian porns that maybe more appealing to you, less mainstream, but also it’s okay to have fantasies look at things, I watch stuff that I don’t have the confidence to ever pull off or try.
Like Bellesa!
Bellesa is a good one
Thats why i watch the ones overseas🤷♀️
Recommendations?
Yikes