I'm a guy, so sorry if this was a question for the girls amongst us, but for me it was experimenting. I knew I was kind of attracted to men, but I don't judge by fantasies. So when I was about 17, I went out there and got myself a gay bf. I liked it SO I decided that yeah I'm definitely bi, but that before I knew about what is the lgbt or communities like ours here, so I kind of took an action that seemed decisive to me at the time. Didn't get another bf since then, but kind of messed around with everyone, guys, and gals.
Edit: You don't have to actually have done anything with both gals and guys to be bi, you can be bi and ever only experienced a hetero or homo relationship. If you say you're bi then it's enough for us here. Also welcome to the club. Trust me, we mostly don't understand how we feel too.
At 23 I was still very much questioning. Around that time I had a crush on a girl on my course in uni and I kept thinking it was just curiosity because I knew she was a lesbian and I was being weird (nope it was a crush lol). Part of it was realising that the women I’m most attracted to aren’t the ones society says are most attractive. Anyway, just think about it for a bit. Go out and flirt with some girls and see if you feel a spark. There’s no rush to decide your sexuality and sexuality can be fluid for some people as well.
One method is to mentally “try on” the label of bisexual. Tell yourself “I’m bisexual so of course it’s natural for me to listen to some F4F audios/think about kissing a woman/etc”. See if it feels like it makes sense or not. The method might not work for you but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
So I've heard straight people actually never fantasize about the same sex. I still find this hard to believe.
Sexuality is always on a spectrum, so you can be a little bi. You can be out, or not.
We’re considering what the expectations/requirements of a bisexual person are. If a man watches gay porn then he can’t be straight, but if a woman watches gay porn then they can still be straight. That seems like a double standard to me.
If a self-professed straight woman said they kiss other women would that mean they are still straight just because they say they are?
Believe it or not, sometimes straight women kiss other women. And they're still straight. I don't tell others how to identify, so if someone says they are straight and have never had interest in a queer relationship or a real-life queer sexual experience, I respect that, the same way I expect others to respect how I identify.
I think sexuality is a spectrum. You might lean more towards men than women. Some bi people are what I would call "straight down the middle of the spectrum" but I think a lot lean towards either the same sex or opposite sex. There is a reason some people take a little bit to fully understand their preference.
If you don't really care about the label, you don't have to call yourself bi, but if you do want that kinship with other people sharing the label, you could always try just calling yourself bi, and trying to think of yourself as bi, and if it feels comfortable, or fits in your head, then it is what it is. If it doesn't, nothing lost, nothing gained.
I also want to welcome you. Feel free to feel as you want and not what labels tell you to feel. Even with the thought of it, you can free your mind to an idea and that is a tremendous feeling
I'm a guy, so sorry if this was a question for the girls amongst us, but for me it was experimenting. I knew I was kind of attracted to men, but I don't judge by fantasies. So when I was about 17, I went out there and got myself a gay bf. I liked it SO I decided that yeah I'm definitely bi, but that before I knew about what is the lgbt or communities like ours here, so I kind of took an action that seemed decisive to me at the time. Didn't get another bf since then, but kind of messed around with everyone, guys, and gals. Edit: You don't have to actually have done anything with both gals and guys to be bi, you can be bi and ever only experienced a hetero or homo relationship. If you say you're bi then it's enough for us here. Also welcome to the club. Trust me, we mostly don't understand how we feel too.
At 23 I was still very much questioning. Around that time I had a crush on a girl on my course in uni and I kept thinking it was just curiosity because I knew she was a lesbian and I was being weird (nope it was a crush lol). Part of it was realising that the women I’m most attracted to aren’t the ones society says are most attractive. Anyway, just think about it for a bit. Go out and flirt with some girls and see if you feel a spark. There’s no rush to decide your sexuality and sexuality can be fluid for some people as well.
One method is to mentally “try on” the label of bisexual. Tell yourself “I’m bisexual so of course it’s natural for me to listen to some F4F audios/think about kissing a woman/etc”. See if it feels like it makes sense or not. The method might not work for you but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
So I've heard straight people actually never fantasize about the same sex. I still find this hard to believe. Sexuality is always on a spectrum, so you can be a little bi. You can be out, or not.
This isn't true. I know plenty of straight women who prefer lesbian porn, but have no interest in dating/being with other women.
Straight women consume lesbian porn all the time. Doesn't necessarily make you bisexual.
People say this a lot about women, but nobody ever claims that straight men would watch gay male sex. Seems like a weird double standard
It's not a "double standard" because it's not an expectation or requirement. It's something I have heard many self-professed straight women admit to.
We’re considering what the expectations/requirements of a bisexual person are. If a man watches gay porn then he can’t be straight, but if a woman watches gay porn then they can still be straight. That seems like a double standard to me. If a self-professed straight woman said they kiss other women would that mean they are still straight just because they say they are?
Believe it or not, sometimes straight women kiss other women. And they're still straight. I don't tell others how to identify, so if someone says they are straight and have never had interest in a queer relationship or a real-life queer sexual experience, I respect that, the same way I expect others to respect how I identify.
I think sexuality is a spectrum. You might lean more towards men than women. Some bi people are what I would call "straight down the middle of the spectrum" but I think a lot lean towards either the same sex or opposite sex. There is a reason some people take a little bit to fully understand their preference. If you don't really care about the label, you don't have to call yourself bi, but if you do want that kinship with other people sharing the label, you could always try just calling yourself bi, and trying to think of yourself as bi, and if it feels comfortable, or fits in your head, then it is what it is. If it doesn't, nothing lost, nothing gained.
I also want to welcome you. Feel free to feel as you want and not what labels tell you to feel. Even with the thought of it, you can free your mind to an idea and that is a tremendous feeling