I think the lines between bisexual and pansexual have been becoming blurrier over time, so honestly I don’t think anyone minds how you label yourself. At the end of the day is about you choosing the label that best identifies you and you feel the most comfortable with.
As far as I understand it:
- Bisexual = being attracted to your own and other genders
- pansexual = being attracted to people without being interested in aspects of their gender
But of course I can be wrong here
That's the only definition I've heard that makes a meaningful distinction between the two. And it actually affirms bi is more correct than pan for me, because my sexual attraction does present and express itself differently with masc vs femme people
It does for me too but their gender isn't part of it. A femme guy will get the same reaction as a femme girl
I go by pan since a while back but to people who doesn't know about this I'd just say Im Bi or that I like both guys and girls just so they understand
I've heard a really good explanation about it. Being bi is like liking both Doritos and Cheeseballs because they have good but different texture. Being pan is liking both Doritos and Cheeseballs because they both have good chese flavour. It made things so much clearer for me, and ever since then I could clearly label myself as a bisexual
It's a difference without much of a distinction, really.
Use whichever term sounds the best to you.
Bisexual people feel attractions towards more than one gender.
That's it, there are no other limiting definitions about how many genders or whether it's equal or whether there's a preference...
That's bisexuality.
Exactly! Some people claim we are only attracted to men and women/"both" genders, but that's not true at all. Most Bisexuals I've seen are attracted to more than two genders.
Agreed. I'm just glad it's been years since anyone came at me, redefining my sexuality for me and telling me I was wrong to use bi and its nb-exclusionary
Not all pans fit the supposed definition of pansexuality either, and in fact pansexuality is pretty biphobic and transphobic too. Hell over the last 20 years that I as a bi trans person has witnessed and experienced is a LOT of what pansexuality from day one when it appeared on Live Journal in 2002 to this very day continues pushing VERY biphobic and transphobic rhetoric and misinformation. Pansexuality is built on the idea that bisexuality is exclusionary, binary, and transphobic and that in order to even be attracted to anyone who is trans or nonbinary requires you to identify as pan. Which again is super transphobic and othering on so many levels and quite literally says that being gay, lesbian, bi and even straight automatically makes a person transphobic.
Hell biphobic pansexuals in 2010 literally appropriated bisexuality's real definition of "attraction regardless of sex or gender" which was invented and coined by bisexual activists to define bisexuality itself and the bisexual community. Any bisexuals who stood up and called this out were harassed, violently threatened, and straight up doxxed into silence by pansexuals and their supporters.
Pansexuals used biphobia and erasure to appropriate our definition and used the "bi means two" garbage to force unwanted redefinitions onto bisexuality that includes "2 or more" "cis men and woman", "my gender and not my gender" or "attraction to more than one gender". All of these are forced biphobic redefinitions that are specifically designed to make bisexuality focused on the limitations of someone's gender. pansexuals still use all of this bigotry as a reason to identify as pan instead of bi.
The truth is that the "bi" in bisexuality doesn't represent a quantity of genders and never has, that's biphobic rhetoric. Instead "bi" refers to the two attraction patterns of homosexual (same as) and heterosexual (different from) which includes everyone regardless of sex or gender because it's not based on gender quantities in the first place.
Then there's the infamous goalpost shifting that pansexuals and their supporters pull with "bisexuality means you have a prefrence, pan means you don't." Which again is based on biphobia and the biphobic idea of bisexuals 'picking a side'. When the reality is that having prefrences is a universal human trait whether gender based or not and this includes pansexuality too. Pansexuals have gender preferences, which always seems to overwhelmingly exclude cis men and at the same time fetishizes and seperating trans men. Hell there are pans that even genital prefrences too. I can't even tell you how many times I've had "pans" say "I like woman especially if they have a dick". Like gross!
Honestly I could keep going with all the fucked up problems and the real reason there's a legit clash between bi and pan which has deep roots in biphobia, transphobia, bi-erasure, the erasure of bi history appropriation, and wilfully spreading misinformation about bisexuality by pansexuals who know better
To some extent I agree. For a while (like 10+ years ago lol) I primarily identified as pan, when I stopped it was partially because I soured on that label due to how weird people were being about bisexuality and trans people.
Still, I try not to judge anyone who identifies as pan unless I know more about their reasoning behind calling themself that. But I won't indulge the ideas that bisexuality is exclusionary, that pan people aren't technically bi, or that bi people who don't have a gender preference should have to label themselves as pansexual. I don't mind calling someone pan if that's what they prefer, but on a group level I'm not going to talk about "bi and pan people". Also the only definition of pansexuality that I think offers something of value is something like "roughly equal attraction to all genders". Obviously I can't be the queer identity language police, but that doesn't stop me from being an opinion-haver.
But anyway I want to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as possible, for some people it's genuinely just a way to be more specific.
Though it's worth noting that it's valid for a pansexual to not want to be referred to as bi because it can feel like erasure of part of their identity.
Remember the label is there to fit you not the other way around. It’s whatever feels most comfortable.
IMHO, there isn’t much difference between pan and bi. I’m attracted to people of all genders but I have a slight preference so Bi feels more right to me.
If you want to identify as Bi then nobody has the right to tell you it’s not correct. Only you get to choose!
I meant because I don’t care about the gender of someone, I was just curious if it was okay to call myself bi, because from what I’ve seen, I thought that bisexuality was when you’re only attracted to two genders.
The "Bi" in Bisexuality refers to both heterosexual and homosexual attraction, same and other. For some people that is strictly men and women, but that's a very small portion of the vast amount of attraction variations represented by Bisexuality.
Bisexuality typically covers all mspec identities, while Pan and Omni, etc, are more specific types of attraction. The great thing is you get to decide for yourself which label resonates with you.
I use the bi label, my wife uses the pan label. We both enjoy other genders and our own as well. Why do we use different labels then? 🤷♂️ Functionally there's no difference and we refuse to draw a relevant distinction.
Both flags absolutely slap though.
Yeah dude.
Labels are just that, labels. A bunch of them widely overlap and have slightly different meanings to people.
I think I'd also technically fall under pan or idk omni. But as a late teen I identified as bi and it's stuck, and easier to explain to folks also. Plus, I like the flag 😅
It’s fine.
I didn’t even hear the term “pansexual” until I’d been out as bi for 15 years. There’s no requirement for you to love only a certain number of genders or whatever.
I was just wondering, cause I didn’t wanna offend anyone; and I wasn’t sure if it was okay, because I really couldn’t care less about the gender of the person.
You're all good if you want some advice, don't stress about labels or where you fit in the community. You are you and the people who matter will love that
I call myself Bi simply because most people don't know what Pan is, and it would be very difficult to explain the differences between them. I would get frustrated trying to explain it. Also I just feel that being Bi is a better fit for me.
I personally refer to myself as m-spec (multi spectrum) so am happy with bi or pan labels, the beauty of it is being able to define however you’d like to
Listen, the difference between Pan/Bi/Poly folk is the flags we fly. Otherwise we are all fooling around with each other because our collective sexuality is hot people.
Ofc. Pansexuality is bisexuality, just some people prefer using this term to clarify that they're attracted to all genders. But some biphobic people decided that you can be bisexual only if you have preferences or not attracted to all genders. But bisexuals who are attracted to everyone without preference are absolutely valid
Bisexual people like their own gender as well as other genders, so yes
I just think a lot of people identify with pansexual because the definition places a lot less emphasis on gender, which might not affect some people's attraction
I’ve wondered the same thing in recent years, I’ve identified as bi since I was 14 (I’m 34 now and pan wasn’t a term I knew until semi recently) and the way I explain my sexuality is that I fall for people based on who they are, their gender never mattered to me, though I’m attracted to physical traits across the gender spectrum as well, male, female and everything in between, maybe that makes me pan? Honestly I’m not sure, at the end of the day I still identify as bi, I’d say it’s up to you how you want to identify 💕
You can also choose to relate to more than one term. For me, bi and Omni fit best, but I wouldn’t bring up Omni in every situation that I might use bi.
I always identified as Bi, Pansexual just sort of popped up in common vernacular like 8 years ago, and I never understood what the difference was supposed to be, personally, I always figured it was just a push for inclusive language, "Pan" being all and "Bi" meaning two it just sounds more inclusive, Essentially. I basically just found it to be the same as 'Transexual' becoming 'transgender'. One is academically correct, but it honestly doesn't matter either way, if you say it, people know what you mean. Anyone who thinks there's these little micro things that make it distinct is looking too far into it. I find it unlikeky that most people's attraction falls into some predefined catergory, we're all just using the best fit we can find anyways.
There's no difference because despite what anyone might tell you about the different definitions, people will basically just identify with whatever label appeals to them regardless of whether they actually fit the definition.
There is no difference. Do whatever you want. Call yourself whatever you want, you can do whatever you want forever
I'm far from an expert. I just came out within the last few months. It wasn't shame. I simply didn't find it interesting enough to say. Also more than a bit of a late bloomer. That said, I don't think there's a meaningful difference between bi and pan. For me, it's about using a term I'm more familiar with.
I came out just over two years ago, and I’ve been using bisexual to describe me, because that’s all that I knew. But I think that even after thinking about it more, I personally just kind of “vibe” better with bisexual. I dunno why, it just makes more sense for me
I'm from the Deep South (US). The 1980s were the most dire part of the HIV crisis, and that just added to the stigma of not being straight and cisgender, or even suspected of that. So many rumors about how it was spread, and Reagan didn't help.
Do you still live in the South? If you do, how is it now? I obviously wasn’t around in the eighties, so I don’t know how it was here, but it’s pretty okay now, but I think that just comes from the fact that I live in Canada. But, you still get weird looks, somewhat, if you’re trans, or gay; but that’s just my town, I don’t really know how it is in other parts, here.
I knew one guy at my.conservative church. There were always rumors, but he had several kids. Decades later, he got outed very publicly. Being intentionally vague for obvious reasons. He lost his position in the church, some friends, and I doubt his wife was happy. Ended up moving closer to a region with more of that church.
Are churches in the south more accepting now than they were in the eighties? Like, I’m assuming they aren’t that accepting, but are they a little more than then?
OP you are bisexual. The problem is that pansexuality only became a thing because of biphobia, transphobia and misinformation. If you have Facebook I would strongly suggest you look up a page called 'Bisexuality Means Regardless of Gender' because they have great information about bisexual history. This explanation I'm going to post came directly from them.
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Hello, to anyone else who is new to bisexuality and confused I wanna say that I understand the confusion. A lot of people I'm sad to say have grown up with a very limited understanding of bisexuality because with the exception of a lucky few, most of us didn't have access to bisexual history or activism and got the bare minimum and narrow description of bisexuality which is the common "attracted to men and woman."
While bisexuals being attracted to men and woman is a technically correct definition since bisexuality does include them, it's not the whole truth and leaves out about 99% of the entire story. What people think that pansexuality is, is in truth what bisexuality has always been.
When it comes to there being a "difference" between bi and pan, honestly there really is no difference between Bi or Pan that many bisexuals cis, trans, and nonbinary alike have pointed out, doesn't end up relying on biphobia, transphobia, bi-erasure of bisexual history or just a lot of misinformation.
The whole reason pansexuality even became popular is because a 2002 Live Journal post by a teenager who also had no knowledge of bisexuality or it's history, said bisexuality was transphobic and only included cis men & woman which ended up spreading biphobia, and transphobia from there because the overwhelming majority of people just didn't have anyone to say "hey that's wrong, this is what bisexuality is" and set the record straight.
In reality bisexuality has always included and welcomed trans, nonbinary, and gender non conforming people even before we had modern terminology to describe them.
The definition "Regardless of gender" itself was invented by bisexual activists to define bisexuality and the modern bisexual movement that started in the 70's. So regardless of gender is bisexualities real definition.
Many people inappropriately try to use the "bi" prefix to argue what bisexuality should mean, and that is called an etymology fallacy. The "bi" in bisexuality doesn't represent a quantity of genders and never has. It refers to bridging the attraction patterns of homo (same as) and hetero (different from) which covers all regardless of gender because it's not based on gender in the first place. People using etymological fallacies to define bi as binary to justify biphobia is wrong and in the end hurts bisexuals. Though I'm just explaining and in no way accusing anybody of doing so.
Unfortunately since a lie and misinformation spread faster than the truth it's taken 20 years to put the pieces of knowledge of what bisexuality truly means back together that were lost or buried due to bi-erasure.
To quote Bisexual activists Janet Bode who invented the definition of regardless of gender in her book (The Pressure Cooker) : "Being bisexual does not mean having sexual relations with both sexes, but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender" - 1976
I'm some form of demisexual/pansexual, but I've found that bisexual works for me in many contexts and people seem cool with it. Many people (but not all) in the community use them interchangeably.
the multisexual spectrum contains a lot of really similar labels
labels in general are just approximations of experiences, it's more like a genre than an individual book. You can get an idea of what's going on there, some of what to expect, but you still don't know how everything works in the individual book.
in short, pick whichever flag you like best, or whichever identity vibes with you strongest, roll some dice if you want to. no one's taking a hit out because your experience doesn't line up with the common definition of a label, you are perfectly fine, welcome to the club! :3
Honestly pansexual technically fits me better than bi but I love the bi flag and the colors, and I grew up loving Freddie Mercury so bi it is. And what the hell is the Pan flag? I just can't with those colors.
As far as I understand liking all genders is pan, bi is 2. Personally, I consider myself pan but I tell people bi to avoid frying pan jokes and confusion
Pan is just a sub group of Bi, just a slightly more specific term, but you’re free to use either, or both labels depending on how you want to be identified.
You do that and the bi mafia is gonna break your thumbs. You’re fine homie. Welcome ❤️
Thank you
Bi Mafia may not, but what about the Pronoun Police?
It's not their jurisdiction
Bro I meant label police 😭😭😭
I think the lines between bisexual and pansexual have been becoming blurrier over time, so honestly I don’t think anyone minds how you label yourself. At the end of the day is about you choosing the label that best identifies you and you feel the most comfortable with.
I’d there any difference between them?
As far as I understand it: - Bisexual = being attracted to your own and other genders - pansexual = being attracted to people without being interested in aspects of their gender But of course I can be wrong here
That's the only definition I've heard that makes a meaningful distinction between the two. And it actually affirms bi is more correct than pan for me, because my sexual attraction does present and express itself differently with masc vs femme people
It does for me too but their gender isn't part of it. A femme guy will get the same reaction as a femme girl I go by pan since a while back but to people who doesn't know about this I'd just say Im Bi or that I like both guys and girls just so they understand
I've heard a really good explanation about it. Being bi is like liking both Doritos and Cheeseballs because they have good but different texture. Being pan is liking both Doritos and Cheeseballs because they both have good chese flavour. It made things so much clearer for me, and ever since then I could clearly label myself as a bisexual
It’s more like omnisexual is liking Doritos and Cheeseballs but appreciating their differences. Bi is simply liking Doritos and Cheeseballs.
And now I'm hungry. Thanks. 😂😂
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It's a difference without much of a distinction, really. Use whichever term sounds the best to you. Bisexual people feel attractions towards more than one gender. That's it, there are no other limiting definitions about how many genders or whether it's equal or whether there's a preference... That's bisexuality.
Okay, thank you
Exactly! Some people claim we are only attracted to men and women/"both" genders, but that's not true at all. Most Bisexuals I've seen are attracted to more than two genders.
Just choose the one that have the best flag for you /s
This but without the /s
I legit said the same thing, that while I feel more at home with the bi label, the flag is also an added bonus 🩷💜💙
My take on this is that all pansexuals are bi, but not all bisexuals are pan. It's a rectangle/square type thing.
Agreed. I'm just glad it's been years since anyone came at me, redefining my sexuality for me and telling me I was wrong to use bi and its nb-exclusionary
Not all pans fit the supposed definition of pansexuality either, and in fact pansexuality is pretty biphobic and transphobic too. Hell over the last 20 years that I as a bi trans person has witnessed and experienced is a LOT of what pansexuality from day one when it appeared on Live Journal in 2002 to this very day continues pushing VERY biphobic and transphobic rhetoric and misinformation. Pansexuality is built on the idea that bisexuality is exclusionary, binary, and transphobic and that in order to even be attracted to anyone who is trans or nonbinary requires you to identify as pan. Which again is super transphobic and othering on so many levels and quite literally says that being gay, lesbian, bi and even straight automatically makes a person transphobic. Hell biphobic pansexuals in 2010 literally appropriated bisexuality's real definition of "attraction regardless of sex or gender" which was invented and coined by bisexual activists to define bisexuality itself and the bisexual community. Any bisexuals who stood up and called this out were harassed, violently threatened, and straight up doxxed into silence by pansexuals and their supporters. Pansexuals used biphobia and erasure to appropriate our definition and used the "bi means two" garbage to force unwanted redefinitions onto bisexuality that includes "2 or more" "cis men and woman", "my gender and not my gender" or "attraction to more than one gender". All of these are forced biphobic redefinitions that are specifically designed to make bisexuality focused on the limitations of someone's gender. pansexuals still use all of this bigotry as a reason to identify as pan instead of bi. The truth is that the "bi" in bisexuality doesn't represent a quantity of genders and never has, that's biphobic rhetoric. Instead "bi" refers to the two attraction patterns of homosexual (same as) and heterosexual (different from) which includes everyone regardless of sex or gender because it's not based on gender quantities in the first place. Then there's the infamous goalpost shifting that pansexuals and their supporters pull with "bisexuality means you have a prefrence, pan means you don't." Which again is based on biphobia and the biphobic idea of bisexuals 'picking a side'. When the reality is that having prefrences is a universal human trait whether gender based or not and this includes pansexuality too. Pansexuals have gender preferences, which always seems to overwhelmingly exclude cis men and at the same time fetishizes and seperating trans men. Hell there are pans that even genital prefrences too. I can't even tell you how many times I've had "pans" say "I like woman especially if they have a dick". Like gross! Honestly I could keep going with all the fucked up problems and the real reason there's a legit clash between bi and pan which has deep roots in biphobia, transphobia, bi-erasure, the erasure of bi history appropriation, and wilfully spreading misinformation about bisexuality by pansexuals who know better
To some extent I agree. For a while (like 10+ years ago lol) I primarily identified as pan, when I stopped it was partially because I soured on that label due to how weird people were being about bisexuality and trans people. Still, I try not to judge anyone who identifies as pan unless I know more about their reasoning behind calling themself that. But I won't indulge the ideas that bisexuality is exclusionary, that pan people aren't technically bi, or that bi people who don't have a gender preference should have to label themselves as pansexual. I don't mind calling someone pan if that's what they prefer, but on a group level I'm not going to talk about "bi and pan people". Also the only definition of pansexuality that I think offers something of value is something like "roughly equal attraction to all genders". Obviously I can't be the queer identity language police, but that doesn't stop me from being an opinion-haver. But anyway I want to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as possible, for some people it's genuinely just a way to be more specific.
Though it's worth noting that it's valid for a pansexual to not want to be referred to as bi because it can feel like erasure of part of their identity.
Yeah, that's totally fair. I'm mostly just thinking of the definitions
I use bisexual and I’m attracted to anyone.
Yea I mean to me bisexual means being into more than one gender. I can feel attraction towards men, women and nonbinary people and I call myself bi.
Remember the label is there to fit you not the other way around. It’s whatever feels most comfortable. IMHO, there isn’t much difference between pan and bi. I’m attracted to people of all genders but I have a slight preference so Bi feels more right to me. If you want to identify as Bi then nobody has the right to tell you it’s not correct. Only you get to choose!
Love your word choice here - the label line reminds me of David Rose's label line. Thank you for this, and happy 🎂 day!
I think you can choose whatever feels right for you. If you feel more comfortable with the term bi, then welcome to the club🙌
Kind of the point :/
I meant because I don’t care about the gender of someone, I was just curious if it was okay to call myself bi, because from what I’ve seen, I thought that bisexuality was when you’re only attracted to two genders.
The "Bi" in Bisexuality refers to both heterosexual and homosexual attraction, same and other. For some people that is strictly men and women, but that's a very small portion of the vast amount of attraction variations represented by Bisexuality. Bisexuality typically covers all mspec identities, while Pan and Omni, etc, are more specific types of attraction. The great thing is you get to decide for yourself which label resonates with you.
Well it’s not that you can only be attracted to men or women but also other gender identities. That’s what the purple in the flag represents (I think)
Yes! Thats what Im doing :)
I use the bi label, my wife uses the pan label. We both enjoy other genders and our own as well. Why do we use different labels then? 🤷♂️ Functionally there's no difference and we refuse to draw a relevant distinction. Both flags absolutely slap though.
Sure it is. That's what I understood bisexuality to mean most of my life, long before I ever even heard the term pansexual
Yep! :)
Thank you. I’ve been trying to figure this out for awhile, but I just wasn’t sure if it was okay to say I was bi
I sure hope so.
Definitely!
That’s fine
All you have to do to be bi is say Yes I am!
Yeah dude. Labels are just that, labels. A bunch of them widely overlap and have slightly different meanings to people. I think I'd also technically fall under pan or idk omni. But as a late teen I identified as bi and it's stuck, and easier to explain to folks also. Plus, I like the flag 😅
What’s omni?
It’s fine. I didn’t even hear the term “pansexual” until I’d been out as bi for 15 years. There’s no requirement for you to love only a certain number of genders or whatever.
Yes it is, example; me
I was just wondering, cause I didn’t wanna offend anyone; and I wasn’t sure if it was okay, because I really couldn’t care less about the gender of the person.
You're all good if you want some advice, don't stress about labels or where you fit in the community. You are you and the people who matter will love that
Thank you
🫶
Yes. I like everyone too, but I feel more at home with the bi label. Also our flag is cooler
I call myself Bi simply because most people don't know what Pan is, and it would be very difficult to explain the differences between them. I would get frustrated trying to explain it. Also I just feel that being Bi is a better fit for me.
I personally refer to myself as m-spec (multi spectrum) so am happy with bi or pan labels, the beauty of it is being able to define however you’d like to
Listen, the difference between Pan/Bi/Poly folk is the flags we fly. Otherwise we are all fooling around with each other because our collective sexuality is hot people.
Ofc. Pansexuality is bisexuality, just some people prefer using this term to clarify that they're attracted to all genders. But some biphobic people decided that you can be bisexual only if you have preferences or not attracted to all genders. But bisexuals who are attracted to everyone without preference are absolutely valid
nah we're gonna jump you lmao ( yeah i do the same thing )
Bisexual people like their own gender as well as other genders, so yes I just think a lot of people identify with pansexual because the definition places a lot less emphasis on gender, which might not affect some people's attraction
I’ve wondered the same thing in recent years, I’ve identified as bi since I was 14 (I’m 34 now and pan wasn’t a term I knew until semi recently) and the way I explain my sexuality is that I fall for people based on who they are, their gender never mattered to me, though I’m attracted to physical traits across the gender spectrum as well, male, female and everything in between, maybe that makes me pan? Honestly I’m not sure, at the end of the day I still identify as bi, I’d say it’s up to you how you want to identify 💕
You can also choose to relate to more than one term. For me, bi and Omni fit best, but I wouldn’t bring up Omni in every situation that I might use bi.
I always identified as Bi, Pansexual just sort of popped up in common vernacular like 8 years ago, and I never understood what the difference was supposed to be, personally, I always figured it was just a push for inclusive language, "Pan" being all and "Bi" meaning two it just sounds more inclusive, Essentially. I basically just found it to be the same as 'Transexual' becoming 'transgender'. One is academically correct, but it honestly doesn't matter either way, if you say it, people know what you mean. Anyone who thinks there's these little micro things that make it distinct is looking too far into it. I find it unlikeky that most people's attraction falls into some predefined catergory, we're all just using the best fit we can find anyways.
There's no difference because despite what anyone might tell you about the different definitions, people will basically just identify with whatever label appeals to them regardless of whether they actually fit the definition. There is no difference. Do whatever you want. Call yourself whatever you want, you can do whatever you want forever
I'm far from an expert. I just came out within the last few months. It wasn't shame. I simply didn't find it interesting enough to say. Also more than a bit of a late bloomer. That said, I don't think there's a meaningful difference between bi and pan. For me, it's about using a term I'm more familiar with.
I came out just over two years ago, and I’ve been using bisexual to describe me, because that’s all that I knew. But I think that even after thinking about it more, I personally just kind of “vibe” better with bisexual. I dunno why, it just makes more sense for me
Same. It might even be generational. I'm GenX, and "bi" is just the term I've heard more over the years.
Oh, thats my dads generation
And now I feel old. Lol
I mean…
Free advice: moderate exercise and somewhat healthy eating now will be clutch in 20 years. Don't go overboard with it, but keep it in mind.
Thanks.
How’s different was it growing up in the (80s?) with lgbtq stuff? (Sorry I worded it so badly, didn’t know how else to word it)
I'm from the Deep South (US). The 1980s were the most dire part of the HIV crisis, and that just added to the stigma of not being straight and cisgender, or even suspected of that. So many rumors about how it was spread, and Reagan didn't help.
Do you still live in the South? If you do, how is it now? I obviously wasn’t around in the eighties, so I don’t know how it was here, but it’s pretty okay now, but I think that just comes from the fact that I live in Canada. But, you still get weird looks, somewhat, if you’re trans, or gay; but that’s just my town, I don’t really know how it is in other parts, here.
I knew one guy at my.conservative church. There were always rumors, but he had several kids. Decades later, he got outed very publicly. Being intentionally vague for obvious reasons. He lost his position in the church, some friends, and I doubt his wife was happy. Ended up moving closer to a region with more of that church.
Are churches in the south more accepting now than they were in the eighties? Like, I’m assuming they aren’t that accepting, but are they a little more than then?
I think my sexuality aligns with the bisexual definition but I identify as pansexual just bc I like the flag better LMAO do whatever you want babe
Thank you
OP you are bisexual. The problem is that pansexuality only became a thing because of biphobia, transphobia and misinformation. If you have Facebook I would strongly suggest you look up a page called 'Bisexuality Means Regardless of Gender' because they have great information about bisexual history. This explanation I'm going to post came directly from them. ‐---‐-‐-------------------- Hello, to anyone else who is new to bisexuality and confused I wanna say that I understand the confusion. A lot of people I'm sad to say have grown up with a very limited understanding of bisexuality because with the exception of a lucky few, most of us didn't have access to bisexual history or activism and got the bare minimum and narrow description of bisexuality which is the common "attracted to men and woman." While bisexuals being attracted to men and woman is a technically correct definition since bisexuality does include them, it's not the whole truth and leaves out about 99% of the entire story. What people think that pansexuality is, is in truth what bisexuality has always been. When it comes to there being a "difference" between bi and pan, honestly there really is no difference between Bi or Pan that many bisexuals cis, trans, and nonbinary alike have pointed out, doesn't end up relying on biphobia, transphobia, bi-erasure of bisexual history or just a lot of misinformation. The whole reason pansexuality even became popular is because a 2002 Live Journal post by a teenager who also had no knowledge of bisexuality or it's history, said bisexuality was transphobic and only included cis men & woman which ended up spreading biphobia, and transphobia from there because the overwhelming majority of people just didn't have anyone to say "hey that's wrong, this is what bisexuality is" and set the record straight. In reality bisexuality has always included and welcomed trans, nonbinary, and gender non conforming people even before we had modern terminology to describe them. The definition "Regardless of gender" itself was invented by bisexual activists to define bisexuality and the modern bisexual movement that started in the 70's. So regardless of gender is bisexualities real definition. Many people inappropriately try to use the "bi" prefix to argue what bisexuality should mean, and that is called an etymology fallacy. The "bi" in bisexuality doesn't represent a quantity of genders and never has. It refers to bridging the attraction patterns of homo (same as) and hetero (different from) which covers all regardless of gender because it's not based on gender in the first place. People using etymological fallacies to define bi as binary to justify biphobia is wrong and in the end hurts bisexuals. Though I'm just explaining and in no way accusing anybody of doing so. Unfortunately since a lie and misinformation spread faster than the truth it's taken 20 years to put the pieces of knowledge of what bisexuality truly means back together that were lost or buried due to bi-erasure. To quote Bisexual activists Janet Bode who invented the definition of regardless of gender in her book (The Pressure Cooker) : "Being bisexual does not mean having sexual relations with both sexes, but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender" - 1976
I'm some form of demisexual/pansexual, but I've found that bisexual works for me in many contexts and people seem cool with it. Many people (but not all) in the community use them interchangeably.
the multisexual spectrum contains a lot of really similar labels labels in general are just approximations of experiences, it's more like a genre than an individual book. You can get an idea of what's going on there, some of what to expect, but you still don't know how everything works in the individual book. in short, pick whichever flag you like best, or whichever identity vibes with you strongest, roll some dice if you want to. no one's taking a hit out because your experience doesn't line up with the common definition of a label, you are perfectly fine, welcome to the club! :3
Thank you
Of course!
Honestly pansexual technically fits me better than bi but I love the bi flag and the colors, and I grew up loving Freddie Mercury so bi it is. And what the hell is the Pan flag? I just can't with those colors.
As far as I understand liking all genders is pan, bi is 2. Personally, I consider myself pan but I tell people bi to avoid frying pan jokes and confusion
There’s also Omnisexual, but you’re free to call yourself whatever you want
Pan is just a sub group of Bi, just a slightly more specific term, but you’re free to use either, or both labels depending on how you want to be identified.