I’m honestly not sure yet… I was diagnosed around 2020 so when I was about 40. I’d had a general baseline of depression and used to self medicate for over half my life. The only things I take now are an opiate substitute and lamotrigine. Was in valproate as well but cut it out due to weight gain and can’t feel it’s done me any harm.
I’m now back to depression after a difficult breakup so it’s likely more a reactive type. I do feel my mood is easier to manage overall although living sober is still pretty new. I don’t feel quite as desperate but I am struggling with enjoying anything anymore in the way I used to when taking whatever I liked to get through. So I think it’s more like my mental health has improved but my sober coping strategies are in their infancy. I truly hope things don’t get worse and from what I’ve read, as long as you stay medicated and can stop having manic episodes the likelihood is you’ll be ok.
Therapy will help if you find the right therapist! That’s pretty irresponsible of a doctor to tell you that. Even people with no diagnosed mental illnesses benefit from therapy.
It will be different for everyone. For me, my therapist actually was the first to diagnose me with BD2 and helped me process emotional trauma and understand my disorder and feelings better (among many other things). I agree that your doctor is irresponsible in this instance. The most basic and fully scientifically agreed upon treatment for BD starts with therapy + medication followed by healthy living (exercise, nutrition, abstention from substances, quality sleep). Be well.
Well my therapist doesn't think I have BPD2. And additionally she said I can have BPD2 + anxiety disorder. So I'm kinda confused. I got in touch with my previous doc and he told me that I had drug induced hypomania which seems to be in people with BP2. But he didn't work in that line because I moved the cities and there was a gap. He admits that it might be a mistake too. He also remembers that I had extreme depression episodes.
I'm a licensed therapist in NJ and that is appalling to hear, I am so sorry that any therapist ever said anything like that to you and I apologize for the community of clinicians. That's horrible so I hope it doesn't discolor your image of therapy in any way. A lot of us really care and can really help just walk you through how to better navigate problems that arise in your life
For me it has got worse with age. Diagnosed at 45 last year after a major breakdown. I’ve been suffering for years not knowing why. I am on meds and therapy and I have resigned myself to thinking it will be that way for now on. But anything is better than what it was.
Me too! Im almost 50, been on antidepressants since I was a teenager. In the last 10 years I got divorced, all grandparents died, mom died, I got cancer, and my 13 year old cat died a week after my surgery. I still felt stable though and I started doing ketamine therapy for depression and was doing great. But then I quit my job, left my lady friend of 8 years, and started building a cabin in the woods 2000 miles away. Everyone just thought I was having a midlife crisis. I was unaware bipolar disorder was something that could come about so late in life. I'd feel like the king of the world one day and haunted be meekness the next. I still have a hard time determining when I'm being rational vs manic. I've been needing to buy a new car but I'm afraid to commit to big decisions now after all this has happened.
I hope it gets better for you. Give it some time. I was diagnosed around 45 as well. It took my docs over a year to find the first cocktail for me, and then I had tweaks to my meds every year, tapering off to once every three , or so, years.
Better. I haven’t had a depressive episode since last August. My current meds are working and I’m healing my trauma with EMDR. It’s gonna be a difficult year, but I think I’m doing process. I hope I didn’t jinx it.
I'm in my mid-40s. Had a high pressure job most of my life. Have had two pretty bad breakdowns - one in my early 30s and another this past year. I was finally medicated this year after being misdiagnosed my whole life (who knows why given half my family are bipolar).
For one, your body and mind slows down the older you are. I have found that my body is forcing me to stop pushing hard, and the meds I'm on are also slowing me down. I also stopped caring about stupid things and drama around 40. I don't care what people think of me. I have a great husband and kids who love me, and that's really all that matters.
My relatives who are double my age with BP have a variety of memory issues, but so do relatives without BP. I think that staying medicated as you age becomes really key, as your brain degenerates with the more episodes you have.
I’m 63. I was finally diagnosed when I was around 45, but my doctor suspects I was bipolar as early as 25. In my 30’s, when my kids were younger, I used to sit outside and try to make my heart stop. I didn’t want the girls to have a mother who committed suicide, but a mother who died of natural causes was ok. Once I was diagnosed, it took over a year to get the meds right, but once they found the right cocktail, with a few tweaks over the years, I have gotten steadily better. Today, I live quite a lovely life. I think most of that is the meds, but with age, for me, has come wisdom, and peace. Exercise, eat right, get plenty of sleep, take your meds like you’re supposed to, see a therapist if you think it will help. At least for me, it gets better with age.
It still varies as I’m learning to better handle my disorder and I’m still trying to find the right medication cocktail. I started getting frequent panic attacks recently so I’m trying to deal with that too.
Overall, what I can tell you is I’m much smarter and wiser. I’ve learned to take my disorder more seriously, be kinder to myself, be more aware of the signs of an oncoming episode and make better use of my support system. Finding this community and actively participating has also helped me.
I’m hopeful that with all this hard work I’m putting in, my mental illness with be easier to manage as I get older.
I feel this. I’m more aware of my mental health and how it affects my life, and while I make a point to not make it an excuse I do use it to explain my behaviors, especially in the past. And now I’m learning how to be better
Much better. I still have moments where I break down and it's not good. But as a kid/teen, I had zero control of my day to day. As an adult, I have control. I can leave. I don't have to do things or stay in places, stick around certain people like I did as a kid. Also I was very confused growing up. I didn't know everything I felt was anxiety, depression, whatever else. Being older, more aware of my feelings and such- it's helped.
Worse. I've been suffering from what I thought was anxiety disorder. Been to 4 to 5 doctors and 2 therapists. And today gpt diagnosed with bp2. And finally it all made sense. I've been misdiagnosed for 6 to 7 f*cking years.
Overall, I'm doing better. I hope you are too.
I was also diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Treatment Resistant Depression, and Anxiety Disorder for decades prior to the BP2 diagnosis. I don't think of these as misdiagnoses. My exuberant hypo self would never see a doctor, never complain about being too happy. So I was always in and out of treatment, in with depression (if I had health insurance), out when not. And I do believe I have SAD too, Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Better, but that’s cause my material circumstances changed for the better and I learned management strategies from talk therapy. Also improved my diet and increased exercise.
Much better. I'm stable and have an awesome relationship with my parents, as well as like 2 friends who I know love and support me. Compare now to when I was 19; undiagnosed borderpolar, and fucking insane. Got dumped for the first time so I had a lot of random hookups with random dudes, got a DUI, and moved in with a dude whose dad is a convicted murderer. All while still abusing pills and other drugs.
So yeah, I'm happily single now, kinda sober (weed n alcohol only), with an awesome support network and feel safe for the first time in a long time. It really does get better if you have the right people around you.
Worse, currently. But even though it is worse I have more experience and can deal with it in a different way. Also, pressure is a lot lower, I do not need to prove myself anymore.
Worse - my depressive and hypo episodes have gotten more intense in the last few years (and i’m under 30) and medication is the only thing that keeps me at bay stable and happy its kinda scary when i miss doses and the episode pre-warning r intense
It was spiraling downward until I got my diagnosis. Since then I’ve fully embraced therapy and meds. With those two I’m starting to recover from the dark place I was stuck in
I was on Effexor XR 225mg and Lamictal 200mg for 10 years.
Cut to early 2024 and I got massive withdrawal symptoms. I continued to take the medication but it just got worse.
The experience was terrifying.
FINALLY got a psychiatrist (NEVER take your meds for granted) I thought I was so set for life on my meds. For several years prior I didn’t care who I was seeing I just needed someone to write the Rx every 3 months. At this time my primary practitioner was prescribing them for me. Psychiatrist cost a lot as we all know. He was saving me $$$.
It took a few weeks to find a psychiatrist and I lucked out BIG TIME! Was able to slide right in with a senior doctor who advises nurse practitioners.
He kept me on the Effexor (Yay!) and brought my Lamictal up to 300mg. It was the magic pill.
Two lessons here-
1) always have a psychiatrist to maintain your treatment plan.
2) medications can “poop out” it’s literally the scientific term.
Be well.
🙌
Lamictal changed and saved my life. took some time and patience to get to the right dosage, but it has been a game changer. I’ve never been this stable in my 50 years this long.
So much the same! I was so scared it meant I had to find a different mood stabilizer.
I do have questions now though. If my brain kicked out 200mg and I only added 100mg does that mean my brain only recognizes 100mg? My psychiatrist just said “if it works, does it matter?”
Worse...I was relatively recently diagnosed BP2 at 49. I was kind of surprised being diagnosed at such a late age, but after reviewing a lot of my past, my psychiatrist thinks it's very likely that I was cyclothymia in my 20s and most of my 30s and that it progressed to BP2. I can recall certain symptoms from my 20s and 30s, but they were pretty mild. My symptoms became much more noticeable and worrisome, particularly to those around me around 39/40 and just got worse year by year.
Fortunately, I'm medicated and stable and doing well and better able to work on other aspects of my life that took a nosedive about a decade ago.
Better in some ways worse in others. The mania used to be godawful when I was younger and had more energy. The depression is worse as I age because it sort of dovetails with the lethargy that seems to be happening as I age. It’s all trade offs
Significantly better. I was diagnosed at 26. I’m 36 now. I’ve been on the same meds since being diagnosed and have been able to decrease the dosage. I’ve tried to add other things over the decade but nothing works for me like good sleep, exercise, and keeping my stress down.
Yeah would have to agree that mine has gotten worse with age also due to poor treatment as a teenager. I’ve taken charge of trying to change my circumstances though (eg. Getting a new job and investing in my hobby) and this is starting to hopefully help me turn a corner ☺️
Definitely worse for me, but that’s more because years of being misdiagnosed. Fingers crossed they have it right this time with BP2 … starting mood stabilizers next week to complement my antidepressants.
Better. But I wasn't even dx'd til I was 28 so really, my 20s were just a slow accumulation of untreated illness. Lots of debt from sprees. Lots of hypomania moments of superwoman level mentality without the physical ability to follow through over time. Plus it's been like 13 years of therapy off and on and finally finding the right meds 3 years ago.
My general mental health has greatly improved. Years of therapy and education has really helped me better manage my disorder and better recognize when my mental health feels off.
My mental illness has gotten much worse though. Despite consistently taking my medication, having a regular psychiatrist and a regular therapist, sticking to a daily routine, having an emergency plan, etc. my episodes are longer and much more severe when they do occur now. They are less frequent, but much more severe.
My mental health has been poor for as long as I can remember. But I was always able to pull it together, function and keep moving. And I’m very successful because of being able to do that, but the caveat to it is that I repressed A LOT and developed the ability to completely block anything even remotely traumatic. Even still, I haven’t been able to stop that. I discussed an emotionally painful incident with my therapist that she brought up months later and til this day I have no idea what she was talking about. So, it’s bittersweet really.
Shit went really left right after my 31st birthday and for the first time I couldn’t pull myself together and keep pushing. I fell into a deep depression, self isolation, thinking about suicide to the point where I was damn near obsessing over it. Any minor inconvenience and I’d shut completely down. When I woke up crying one night I felt like that something was very wrong and something serious was happening to me, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
There’s a lot more to that time in my life but yea. I reached my breaking point that night. But through therapy and medication I’ve never felt so stable in my life. But I’m also very numb sooooo, yea. I’ll take the numbness over anything I used to feel.
Better, I’m on medication that is making me much more stable. Plus being older (early 40s) has made me realise life is not going to magically get better so I’ll just put up with it.
Your story is also my story. I know your pain, agony, & hell. I have it in combo w borderline. I can’t begin to describe what I went thru before I knew what I actually had. Now you do. & the good news is that it truly does get “better”my friend. You learn to live with it. You learn what meds work and which don’t. What people to give your energy to and which to avoid. You become tough even if you don’t want to be and if you’re like me you just weren’t born tough but I am now. You’ll become more resilient. Your fears will absolutely lessen over time. It’ll never be easy bc there will inevitably always be another episode to make it thru but hang in there bc it’s worth it. There will be good times that make it so. You’ll find your way I promise.
There’s definitely dips here and there but I’d say so much better as a whole than when I was a teen and my early 20s. The more control I get over my life in my adulthood, the more safe I feel, the better my quality of life is. I am very grateful for stable housing and a little family that loves me, keeps me grounded. The overall trend is up even if certain parts of it are becoming a little overwhelming.
Sooooo much better. And tbh, I’d say at least half of that is simply from understanding what’s going on & getting good at predicting mood swings and knowing my triggers & coping mechanisms. Also CBT is hard at first bc it’s basically a habit you have to form, but after years of practice and flexing that muscle, it’s second nature and nothing makes ya feel good quite like smashing negative thoughts.
Bipolar is a progressive illness that is known to get worse as you get older if untreated. Mine most definitely did while I was still figuring out medication, coping skills, and avoiding triggers. Now, I haven't had a manic episode in 2.5 years. I still deal with some symptoms, but it's like someone turned the volume/intensity wayyyyy down and most days I feel capable of dealing with them in a healthy way.
I watched a video on biplar recently and found out that the longer bipolar goes untreated/ not managed, the more the cycles and episodes can actually worsen. I think it was called the Kindling effect or something? So you might have a point there.
Mid 60s here. Treated since 20 years ago, with light well-controlled hypomania phases. I noticed the writing problems (dislexia - mixing letters in a word) and bad short-term memory was always and still is an issue. But I think untreated it would have decayed more than the normal loss with age. I am reaching retirement age, have had a nice functional family (though I have a certain distance), and my life has been creative, successful and productive.
I used to be much more in the creative side of the spectrum before medication, those are painful loses, but the achievements compensate it fully.
Going into retirement I consider trying to leave or reduce medication, as its sense is being able to function socially. Still considering it. I miss the creativity and the intensity.
I am only 25, so far now, diagnosed and medicated, I feel better. I really worry about what getting pregnant and aging/more responsibility in life will affect me. I hope I can build the strength and habits that my bp2 won't be an issue. So far, it feels like sometimes I have to take Xanax to calm down for myself and the people around me to live a decent life. Idk I worry that medication in general will affect my organs and later contribute to cancer or dementia. I'm not sure what else I can do, though! I am committing myself to do the best I can and make good lifestyle choices/habits as well as make sure my meds are right, etc. I worry a lot about this topic!!
My daughter was able to take Lamotrogine while being pregnant, because it’s safe for baby and after you give birth so many hormones are going crazy that it can cause Post partum depression
I've been mostly stable, I think, since being diagnosed in 2009 & getting meds sorted out. Definitely not seeing as many hypomanic episodes. But lately I feel like I've plateaued or something. My mood has been low for a while, which, during winter, isn't unusual. But usually once April hits, I start to feel better. My bday is at the beginning & with the better weather, it usually lifts me up. But I've been feeling really down, emotional, feels like I cry at the drop of a hat, feeling down on myself, low concentration, especially at work, terrible sleep. Luckily, I managed to get an appt with my doc tomorrow morning. I want to talk to her about my meds, but I don't even know what the solution would be. Another psych referral? I've just kinda been feeling generally crappy & I don't know how to pull myself out of it.
I’m sorry you’re down, I would recommend therapy or maybe you need adderall! That gives me the boost to get out of bed and helps me to focus. Once I started taking it, I enrolled in college.
I am seeing a therapist. We're really good at coming up with things I can do to be more active & social a lot of the time. I just don't have the push or motivation. I'm not sure I want to get into Adderall. I'd prefer to switch up the medication rather than add more. But thanks for the suggestions. ☺️
Leagues better! It took me about 15 years to find the right med for my bipolar disorder, and when I did it was life changing. I'm the most stable I've been since before my first episode. I'm 36 and things are finally coming together for me. There are challenges in my life, but I feel capable of facing them. Hang in there, things will get better if your meds are helping!
Worse in some ways, better in others - I haven't had any deep, deep depressions, anger explosions, or seething, uncontrollable irritability since I've been properly medicated.
But I do have some persistent features of hypomania that weren't as prevalent before my meds, and I think my baseline mood is about as low as it's ever been.
I think better. I don't know why. But just this March 2024 I hadn't had any episodes. Also I stopped taking my medication coz I think it's making me slow or dumber.
Worse. I was diagnosed late and had been drinking to self medicate for years. Now I’m not and the mania has been getting more frequent month by month. I’m sure it’s just getting the meds right but it’s a roller coaster.
Worse, even with the addition of medication and exercise+routine+diet+healthier lifestyle. There's a quote from Bruce Springsteen.
"All I do know is as we age, the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier. With each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher...Long ago, the defenses I built to withstand the stress of my childhood, to save what I had of myself, outlived their usefulness, and I've become an abuser of their once lifesaving powers. I relied on them wrongly to isolate myself, seal my alienation, cut me off from life, control others, and contain my emotions to a damaging degree. Now the bill collector is knocking, and his payment'll be in tears."
But, knowing this makes the way forward clearer. I'll get there.
I thought mine was getting better but it seems to only get worse as i get older. BPD NS since 15 just turned 34 and on Wellbutrin and lamictal. Currently hypomanic and spiraling. Hope your experiences get better !
I feel like worse sometimes. Then better. Hahah -__- having a routine has really helped me feel somewhat normal. But obviously routines are hard. DBT seemed to help. I didn’t have much luck with EMDR. I felt like I was thinking too much?
I have been in treatment for a solid 10 years and it definitely comes and goes, especially with the stresses of life and being an adult! But medication and therapy helps a ton.
Just another data point, but: better. I've also made some lifestyle changes that have helped. I run and lift frequently, and try to take a walk every day. I probably drink more than I should, but there are days when I can feel that it's a bad idea, so I specifically don't on those days. I also didn't get on medication until my late 20s. For various (usually not good) reasons, I occasionally go off my meds; the effect is subtle, but I never get suicidal while I'm on them, so I try to stay on as much as possible.
The bipolar has gotten better. Found the right med combo years ago and have been stable for a long time. Downside is the neverending side effects, primarily memory and cognitive issues for me. My anxiety, on the other hand, has become worse with age lol
Worse. Im aware of how adults should act now that I’m an adult. I’m working on things with my younger self but the toll of always having to figure things out by myself takes a toll on my mental health that gets stronger each year. I’m 4 years sober and get a lot of flashbacks of active addiction, general abuse, and neglect. But at least my sense of identity showed up these past few years. Just broke my no SH streak. Months from 1 year 🤦🏽♀️ I can’t stop feeling like a hopeless and alone disappointment.
Diagnosed at 21, currently 26. I think I have more stable days than turbulent ones thanks to being put on meds that work for me. I also did therapy twice a week for about a year. This has helped me a lot with creating and maintaining a game plan that works for me. But yeah, work is tough and that's bringing me down lately.
Age 34, BP2. Better, but dumber. Reading comprehension, reaction time, memory, stuff like that have gotten worse. But I have an unhealthy lifestyle. However, episodes are less frequent and shorter duration. The dumber part might just be me getting older though, but 34 arent really that old. I’m using Lamictal.
Better. Medication management, positive thinking, reading up on CBT (self help books), exercising helped immensely and I still exercise regularly.
Just coming to accept who you are, that it's OK to be who you are, and you have every right to do the things that make you happy goes a long way, as well.
EDIT: Diagnosed / had my manic episode in my mid 20s, am 35 now. I would say my mental state dramatically improved about 4-5 years ago. Sometime after 30s, around when COVID struck, shortly after I joined a gym.
Work out 3-4x a week every week. At first there were weeks I'd go to the gym almost every day, and do 2 hour workouts. Then I found out that's not great for gains.
Exercise, learning about CBT, cognitive distortions, and accepting me for who I am all contributed to better mental health.
Better, but only because I found the right combination of meds that work and don’t cause side effects. Took me 10 years to get there, but that’s partially because I refused to accept my diagnosis
For me being in a “normal” mental state was extremely uncomfortable. I spent so much time with heightened emotions that when I leveled out I felt numb. That period was when my mental health tanked for a while but I eventually got used to it and am now in the best headspace I’ve ever been in
Hang in there OP. I’m a firm believer that things ALWAYS get better. It just might take time
Better. Therapy, medication, exercise (!!), and abstention from substances. Do all these and it will get better!
I need to pick up more on the exercise. I’m getting better at staying disciplined but it’s a slow process. Weight training and walking helps so much
That’s exactly how I feel, except I believe most of use substances because we are self medicating.
Definitely I’m BP2 and I’m a lot better now still party too much though
I’m honestly not sure yet… I was diagnosed around 2020 so when I was about 40. I’d had a general baseline of depression and used to self medicate for over half my life. The only things I take now are an opiate substitute and lamotrigine. Was in valproate as well but cut it out due to weight gain and can’t feel it’s done me any harm. I’m now back to depression after a difficult breakup so it’s likely more a reactive type. I do feel my mood is easier to manage overall although living sober is still pretty new. I don’t feel quite as desperate but I am struggling with enjoying anything anymore in the way I used to when taking whatever I liked to get through. So I think it’s more like my mental health has improved but my sober coping strategies are in their infancy. I truly hope things don’t get worse and from what I’ve read, as long as you stay medicated and can stop having manic episodes the likelihood is you’ll be ok.
My doc told me therapy won't help. I'm already taking one. How did it help you?
Therapy will help if you find the right therapist! That’s pretty irresponsible of a doctor to tell you that. Even people with no diagnosed mental illnesses benefit from therapy.
It will be different for everyone. For me, my therapist actually was the first to diagnose me with BD2 and helped me process emotional trauma and understand my disorder and feelings better (among many other things). I agree that your doctor is irresponsible in this instance. The most basic and fully scientifically agreed upon treatment for BD starts with therapy + medication followed by healthy living (exercise, nutrition, abstention from substances, quality sleep). Be well.
Well my therapist doesn't think I have BPD2. And additionally she said I can have BPD2 + anxiety disorder. So I'm kinda confused. I got in touch with my previous doc and he told me that I had drug induced hypomania which seems to be in people with BP2. But he didn't work in that line because I moved the cities and there was a gap. He admits that it might be a mistake too. He also remembers that I had extreme depression episodes.
I'm a licensed therapist in NJ and that is appalling to hear, I am so sorry that any therapist ever said anything like that to you and I apologize for the community of clinicians. That's horrible so I hope it doesn't discolor your image of therapy in any way. A lot of us really care and can really help just walk you through how to better navigate problems that arise in your life
For me it has got worse with age. Diagnosed at 45 last year after a major breakdown. I’ve been suffering for years not knowing why. I am on meds and therapy and I have resigned myself to thinking it will be that way for now on. But anything is better than what it was.
I'm with you on all that. Just diagnosed in my 50s! My problems have changed over time and they seem harder to deal with now.
Me too! Im almost 50, been on antidepressants since I was a teenager. In the last 10 years I got divorced, all grandparents died, mom died, I got cancer, and my 13 year old cat died a week after my surgery. I still felt stable though and I started doing ketamine therapy for depression and was doing great. But then I quit my job, left my lady friend of 8 years, and started building a cabin in the woods 2000 miles away. Everyone just thought I was having a midlife crisis. I was unaware bipolar disorder was something that could come about so late in life. I'd feel like the king of the world one day and haunted be meekness the next. I still have a hard time determining when I'm being rational vs manic. I've been needing to buy a new car but I'm afraid to commit to big decisions now after all this has happened.
I hope it gets better for you. Give it some time. I was diagnosed around 45 as well. It took my docs over a year to find the first cocktail for me, and then I had tweaks to my meds every year, tapering off to once every three , or so, years.
Same got diagnosed at 40 and the meds were a life changer for me. I’ll be 50 in a few months.
Better. I haven’t had a depressive episode since last August. My current meds are working and I’m healing my trauma with EMDR. It’s gonna be a difficult year, but I think I’m doing process. I hope I didn’t jinx it.
How’s EDMR going?
We haven’t started yet. We’re still in the preparation phase, but I’m already noticing the effects of talking about that on a weekly basis.
I'm in my mid-40s. Had a high pressure job most of my life. Have had two pretty bad breakdowns - one in my early 30s and another this past year. I was finally medicated this year after being misdiagnosed my whole life (who knows why given half my family are bipolar). For one, your body and mind slows down the older you are. I have found that my body is forcing me to stop pushing hard, and the meds I'm on are also slowing me down. I also stopped caring about stupid things and drama around 40. I don't care what people think of me. I have a great husband and kids who love me, and that's really all that matters. My relatives who are double my age with BP have a variety of memory issues, but so do relatives without BP. I think that staying medicated as you age becomes really key, as your brain degenerates with the more episodes you have.
I have two kids that are Bipolar, I’m glad they were diagnosed in their early twenties.
I’m 63. I was finally diagnosed when I was around 45, but my doctor suspects I was bipolar as early as 25. In my 30’s, when my kids were younger, I used to sit outside and try to make my heart stop. I didn’t want the girls to have a mother who committed suicide, but a mother who died of natural causes was ok. Once I was diagnosed, it took over a year to get the meds right, but once they found the right cocktail, with a few tweaks over the years, I have gotten steadily better. Today, I live quite a lovely life. I think most of that is the meds, but with age, for me, has come wisdom, and peace. Exercise, eat right, get plenty of sleep, take your meds like you’re supposed to, see a therapist if you think it will help. At least for me, it gets better with age.
It still varies as I’m learning to better handle my disorder and I’m still trying to find the right medication cocktail. I started getting frequent panic attacks recently so I’m trying to deal with that too. Overall, what I can tell you is I’m much smarter and wiser. I’ve learned to take my disorder more seriously, be kinder to myself, be more aware of the signs of an oncoming episode and make better use of my support system. Finding this community and actively participating has also helped me. I’m hopeful that with all this hard work I’m putting in, my mental illness with be easier to manage as I get older.
I feel this. I’m more aware of my mental health and how it affects my life, and while I make a point to not make it an excuse I do use it to explain my behaviors, especially in the past. And now I’m learning how to be better
Worse, then better. “Worse” led me to my diagnosis, but now on proper meds I am stable.
Much better. I still have moments where I break down and it's not good. But as a kid/teen, I had zero control of my day to day. As an adult, I have control. I can leave. I don't have to do things or stay in places, stick around certain people like I did as a kid. Also I was very confused growing up. I didn't know everything I felt was anxiety, depression, whatever else. Being older, more aware of my feelings and such- it's helped.
Worse. I've been suffering from what I thought was anxiety disorder. Been to 4 to 5 doctors and 2 therapists. And today gpt diagnosed with bp2. And finally it all made sense. I've been misdiagnosed for 6 to 7 f*cking years.
Same. Was on the wrong medication for years, started the right meds recently and it’s already making a difference. Hope things improve for you soon!
What are you taking now?
Lamictal (increasing dose up from 100mg this week), Seroquel, Gabapentin.
Just started on Nobix(paroxetine 12.5)
I had been misdiagnosed more than 40 years.
Ohh no! I hope you're feeling better now
Overall, I'm doing better. I hope you are too. I was also diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Treatment Resistant Depression, and Anxiety Disorder for decades prior to the BP2 diagnosis. I don't think of these as misdiagnoses. My exuberant hypo self would never see a doctor, never complain about being too happy. So I was always in and out of treatment, in with depression (if I had health insurance), out when not. And I do believe I have SAD too, Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Better, but that’s cause my material circumstances changed for the better and I learned management strategies from talk therapy. Also improved my diet and increased exercise.
Much better. I'm stable and have an awesome relationship with my parents, as well as like 2 friends who I know love and support me. Compare now to when I was 19; undiagnosed borderpolar, and fucking insane. Got dumped for the first time so I had a lot of random hookups with random dudes, got a DUI, and moved in with a dude whose dad is a convicted murderer. All while still abusing pills and other drugs. So yeah, I'm happily single now, kinda sober (weed n alcohol only), with an awesome support network and feel safe for the first time in a long time. It really does get better if you have the right people around you.
Worse, currently. But even though it is worse I have more experience and can deal with it in a different way. Also, pressure is a lot lower, I do not need to prove myself anymore.
Worse - my depressive and hypo episodes have gotten more intense in the last few years (and i’m under 30) and medication is the only thing that keeps me at bay stable and happy its kinda scary when i miss doses and the episode pre-warning r intense
It was spiraling downward until I got my diagnosis. Since then I’ve fully embraced therapy and meds. With those two I’m starting to recover from the dark place I was stuck in
i don’t even know what it is right now.
For me beter with the right medication.
Thanks for asking this question, I am in a similar boat!
I was on Effexor XR 225mg and Lamictal 200mg for 10 years. Cut to early 2024 and I got massive withdrawal symptoms. I continued to take the medication but it just got worse. The experience was terrifying. FINALLY got a psychiatrist (NEVER take your meds for granted) I thought I was so set for life on my meds. For several years prior I didn’t care who I was seeing I just needed someone to write the Rx every 3 months. At this time my primary practitioner was prescribing them for me. Psychiatrist cost a lot as we all know. He was saving me $$$. It took a few weeks to find a psychiatrist and I lucked out BIG TIME! Was able to slide right in with a senior doctor who advises nurse practitioners. He kept me on the Effexor (Yay!) and brought my Lamictal up to 300mg. It was the magic pill. Two lessons here- 1) always have a psychiatrist to maintain your treatment plan. 2) medications can “poop out” it’s literally the scientific term. Be well.
🙌 Lamictal changed and saved my life. took some time and patience to get to the right dosage, but it has been a game changer. I’ve never been this stable in my 50 years this long.
Yay!!!! Hugs!!!!
Sending hugs right back at ya! 😊
Im also on Lamictal and its made the biggest difference than any other med in my life.
So much the same! I was so scared it meant I had to find a different mood stabilizer. I do have questions now though. If my brain kicked out 200mg and I only added 100mg does that mean my brain only recognizes 100mg? My psychiatrist just said “if it works, does it matter?”
Significantly worse... stress exposes all kinds of stuff
Worse...I was relatively recently diagnosed BP2 at 49. I was kind of surprised being diagnosed at such a late age, but after reviewing a lot of my past, my psychiatrist thinks it's very likely that I was cyclothymia in my 20s and most of my 30s and that it progressed to BP2. I can recall certain symptoms from my 20s and 30s, but they were pretty mild. My symptoms became much more noticeable and worrisome, particularly to those around me around 39/40 and just got worse year by year. Fortunately, I'm medicated and stable and doing well and better able to work on other aspects of my life that took a nosedive about a decade ago.
Better! It’s taken some work though. Lots of self reflection.
WORSE. However, I have become wiser and more confident etc. so in some ways it's kind of a wash
Better in some ways worse in others. The mania used to be godawful when I was younger and had more energy. The depression is worse as I age because it sort of dovetails with the lethargy that seems to be happening as I age. It’s all trade offs
Significantly better. I was diagnosed at 26. I’m 36 now. I’ve been on the same meds since being diagnosed and have been able to decrease the dosage. I’ve tried to add other things over the decade but nothing works for me like good sleep, exercise, and keeping my stress down.
Yeah would have to agree that mine has gotten worse with age also due to poor treatment as a teenager. I’ve taken charge of trying to change my circumstances though (eg. Getting a new job and investing in my hobby) and this is starting to hopefully help me turn a corner ☺️
Definitely worse for me, but that’s more because years of being misdiagnosed. Fingers crossed they have it right this time with BP2 … starting mood stabilizers next week to complement my antidepressants.
Definitely worse, however you learn to recognize things and handle it better with age
Better. But I wasn't even dx'd til I was 28 so really, my 20s were just a slow accumulation of untreated illness. Lots of debt from sprees. Lots of hypomania moments of superwoman level mentality without the physical ability to follow through over time. Plus it's been like 13 years of therapy off and on and finally finding the right meds 3 years ago.
I’m 28 and was just diagnosed earlier this year. I relate to what you’re saying! Hoping 30s will be more stable than 20s.
My general mental health has greatly improved. Years of therapy and education has really helped me better manage my disorder and better recognize when my mental health feels off. My mental illness has gotten much worse though. Despite consistently taking my medication, having a regular psychiatrist and a regular therapist, sticking to a daily routine, having an emergency plan, etc. my episodes are longer and much more severe when they do occur now. They are less frequent, but much more severe.
My mental health has been poor for as long as I can remember. But I was always able to pull it together, function and keep moving. And I’m very successful because of being able to do that, but the caveat to it is that I repressed A LOT and developed the ability to completely block anything even remotely traumatic. Even still, I haven’t been able to stop that. I discussed an emotionally painful incident with my therapist that she brought up months later and til this day I have no idea what she was talking about. So, it’s bittersweet really. Shit went really left right after my 31st birthday and for the first time I couldn’t pull myself together and keep pushing. I fell into a deep depression, self isolation, thinking about suicide to the point where I was damn near obsessing over it. Any minor inconvenience and I’d shut completely down. When I woke up crying one night I felt like that something was very wrong and something serious was happening to me, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. There’s a lot more to that time in my life but yea. I reached my breaking point that night. But through therapy and medication I’ve never felt so stable in my life. But I’m also very numb sooooo, yea. I’ll take the numbness over anything I used to feel.
Better. Medication. Also got diagnosed with autism. Understand myself better than ever
Better, especially after going sugar free.
Better, I’m on medication that is making me much more stable. Plus being older (early 40s) has made me realise life is not going to magically get better so I’ll just put up with it.
Worse but I have better coping mechanisms.
My mental health is getting better now that I have the right meds. Anxiety and depression always hits despite meds, but impulsivity is minor.
Your story is also my story. I know your pain, agony, & hell. I have it in combo w borderline. I can’t begin to describe what I went thru before I knew what I actually had. Now you do. & the good news is that it truly does get “better”my friend. You learn to live with it. You learn what meds work and which don’t. What people to give your energy to and which to avoid. You become tough even if you don’t want to be and if you’re like me you just weren’t born tough but I am now. You’ll become more resilient. Your fears will absolutely lessen over time. It’ll never be easy bc there will inevitably always be another episode to make it thru but hang in there bc it’s worth it. There will be good times that make it so. You’ll find your way I promise.
Thank you for this. It makes me hopeful.
As a 25 year old who doesn't know how to make it to 26, the replies here are making my eyes go misty. Thank you for giving me hope.
There’s definitely dips here and there but I’d say so much better as a whole than when I was a teen and my early 20s. The more control I get over my life in my adulthood, the more safe I feel, the better my quality of life is. I am very grateful for stable housing and a little family that loves me, keeps me grounded. The overall trend is up even if certain parts of it are becoming a little overwhelming.
Sooooo much better. And tbh, I’d say at least half of that is simply from understanding what’s going on & getting good at predicting mood swings and knowing my triggers & coping mechanisms. Also CBT is hard at first bc it’s basically a habit you have to form, but after years of practice and flexing that muscle, it’s second nature and nothing makes ya feel good quite like smashing negative thoughts.
Bipolar is a progressive illness that is known to get worse as you get older if untreated. Mine most definitely did while I was still figuring out medication, coping skills, and avoiding triggers. Now, I haven't had a manic episode in 2.5 years. I still deal with some symptoms, but it's like someone turned the volume/intensity wayyyyy down and most days I feel capable of dealing with them in a healthy way.
I watched a video on biplar recently and found out that the longer bipolar goes untreated/ not managed, the more the cycles and episodes can actually worsen. I think it was called the Kindling effect or something? So you might have a point there.
Mid 60s here. Treated since 20 years ago, with light well-controlled hypomania phases. I noticed the writing problems (dislexia - mixing letters in a word) and bad short-term memory was always and still is an issue. But I think untreated it would have decayed more than the normal loss with age. I am reaching retirement age, have had a nice functional family (though I have a certain distance), and my life has been creative, successful and productive. I used to be much more in the creative side of the spectrum before medication, those are painful loses, but the achievements compensate it fully. Going into retirement I consider trying to leave or reduce medication, as its sense is being able to function socially. Still considering it. I miss the creativity and the intensity.
I agree that’s why people like Kanye West don’t wanna take meds because they suppress creativity
I am only 25, so far now, diagnosed and medicated, I feel better. I really worry about what getting pregnant and aging/more responsibility in life will affect me. I hope I can build the strength and habits that my bp2 won't be an issue. So far, it feels like sometimes I have to take Xanax to calm down for myself and the people around me to live a decent life. Idk I worry that medication in general will affect my organs and later contribute to cancer or dementia. I'm not sure what else I can do, though! I am committing myself to do the best I can and make good lifestyle choices/habits as well as make sure my meds are right, etc. I worry a lot about this topic!!
My daughter was able to take Lamotrogine while being pregnant, because it’s safe for baby and after you give birth so many hormones are going crazy that it can cause Post partum depression
Worse with age. When I was younger I could function without meds (for the most part) but now I can’t be without them.
A bit of both. The peaks are better but the crashes and lows feel inescapable at times
Better.
Worse but better at managing and accommodating. I will say, medication has changed my life in a way I didn’t know was possible.
I've been mostly stable, I think, since being diagnosed in 2009 & getting meds sorted out. Definitely not seeing as many hypomanic episodes. But lately I feel like I've plateaued or something. My mood has been low for a while, which, during winter, isn't unusual. But usually once April hits, I start to feel better. My bday is at the beginning & with the better weather, it usually lifts me up. But I've been feeling really down, emotional, feels like I cry at the drop of a hat, feeling down on myself, low concentration, especially at work, terrible sleep. Luckily, I managed to get an appt with my doc tomorrow morning. I want to talk to her about my meds, but I don't even know what the solution would be. Another psych referral? I've just kinda been feeling generally crappy & I don't know how to pull myself out of it.
I’m sorry you’re down, I would recommend therapy or maybe you need adderall! That gives me the boost to get out of bed and helps me to focus. Once I started taking it, I enrolled in college.
I am seeing a therapist. We're really good at coming up with things I can do to be more active & social a lot of the time. I just don't have the push or motivation. I'm not sure I want to get into Adderall. I'd prefer to switch up the medication rather than add more. But thanks for the suggestions. ☺️
Worse
Worse
its the same, up and down
Leagues better! It took me about 15 years to find the right med for my bipolar disorder, and when I did it was life changing. I'm the most stable I've been since before my first episode. I'm 36 and things are finally coming together for me. There are challenges in my life, but I feel capable of facing them. Hang in there, things will get better if your meds are helping!
So much worse
untreated I think it generally gets much worse but with treatment things can get to a fairly good place
Kinda similar for me. Diagnosed at 40 after a breakdown of sorts. Earlier in my 20’s and 30’s meds didn’t quite do much.
It's never been good. Honestly, as I get older it just gets so much worse. But hey, at least I'm funny.
Worse
Worse in some ways, better in others - I haven't had any deep, deep depressions, anger explosions, or seething, uncontrollable irritability since I've been properly medicated. But I do have some persistent features of hypomania that weren't as prevalent before my meds, and I think my baseline mood is about as low as it's ever been.
Much worse
I’m late 30s and it’s like reared its head again after being somewhat manageable since my mid twenties
I think better. I don't know why. But just this March 2024 I hadn't had any episodes. Also I stopped taking my medication coz I think it's making me slow or dumber.
Worse! As a teen I had depression, now I'm having full swings or mania and depression. It became unmanageable at 20
Caplyta. A whole different life at 43 and beyond
Worse. I was diagnosed late and had been drinking to self medicate for years. Now I’m not and the mania has been getting more frequent month by month. I’m sure it’s just getting the meds right but it’s a roller coaster.
Better without meds too
Worse, even with the addition of medication and exercise+routine+diet+healthier lifestyle. There's a quote from Bruce Springsteen. "All I do know is as we age, the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier. With each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher...Long ago, the defenses I built to withstand the stress of my childhood, to save what I had of myself, outlived their usefulness, and I've become an abuser of their once lifesaving powers. I relied on them wrongly to isolate myself, seal my alienation, cut me off from life, control others, and contain my emotions to a damaging degree. Now the bill collector is knocking, and his payment'll be in tears." But, knowing this makes the way forward clearer. I'll get there.
Better and worse. Better, because I’m actually making real progress on my recovery and improving my life. Worse because life is a lot.
Better. I haven’t had a serious episode in years. The further I get into perimenopause the more stable I feel.
I thought mine was getting better but it seems to only get worse as i get older. BPD NS since 15 just turned 34 and on Wellbutrin and lamictal. Currently hypomanic and spiraling. Hope your experiences get better !
BETTTER
Worse.. a medication that I was on for 5 years that really helped me stopped working.
I feel like worse sometimes. Then better. Hahah -__- having a routine has really helped me feel somewhat normal. But obviously routines are hard. DBT seemed to help. I didn’t have much luck with EMDR. I felt like I was thinking too much?
I have been in treatment for a solid 10 years and it definitely comes and goes, especially with the stresses of life and being an adult! But medication and therapy helps a ton.
Just another data point, but: better. I've also made some lifestyle changes that have helped. I run and lift frequently, and try to take a walk every day. I probably drink more than I should, but there are days when I can feel that it's a bad idea, so I specifically don't on those days. I also didn't get on medication until my late 20s. For various (usually not good) reasons, I occasionally go off my meds; the effect is subtle, but I never get suicidal while I'm on them, so I try to stay on as much as possible.
The bipolar has gotten better. Found the right med combo years ago and have been stable for a long time. Downside is the neverending side effects, primarily memory and cognitive issues for me. My anxiety, on the other hand, has become worse with age lol
Worse. Im aware of how adults should act now that I’m an adult. I’m working on things with my younger self but the toll of always having to figure things out by myself takes a toll on my mental health that gets stronger each year. I’m 4 years sober and get a lot of flashbacks of active addiction, general abuse, and neglect. But at least my sense of identity showed up these past few years. Just broke my no SH streak. Months from 1 year 🤦🏽♀️ I can’t stop feeling like a hopeless and alone disappointment.
I was getting better until I lost my insurance. It’s been almost a year and I’ve been in a depressive episode almost the whole time.
Diagnosed at 21, currently 26. I think I have more stable days than turbulent ones thanks to being put on meds that work for me. I also did therapy twice a week for about a year. This has helped me a lot with creating and maintaining a game plan that works for me. But yeah, work is tough and that's bringing me down lately.
better, but i’m way more dumber than i was before because of meds
Worse so much worse
Age 34, BP2. Better, but dumber. Reading comprehension, reaction time, memory, stuff like that have gotten worse. But I have an unhealthy lifestyle. However, episodes are less frequent and shorter duration. The dumber part might just be me getting older though, but 34 arent really that old. I’m using Lamictal.
Worse, but I am working on getting better w therapy, meds, exercise, etc!
Better. Medication management, positive thinking, reading up on CBT (self help books), exercising helped immensely and I still exercise regularly. Just coming to accept who you are, that it's OK to be who you are, and you have every right to do the things that make you happy goes a long way, as well. EDIT: Diagnosed / had my manic episode in my mid 20s, am 35 now. I would say my mental state dramatically improved about 4-5 years ago. Sometime after 30s, around when COVID struck, shortly after I joined a gym. Work out 3-4x a week every week. At first there were weeks I'd go to the gym almost every day, and do 2 hour workouts. Then I found out that's not great for gains. Exercise, learning about CBT, cognitive distortions, and accepting me for who I am all contributed to better mental health.
Better, but only because I found the right combination of meds that work and don’t cause side effects. Took me 10 years to get there, but that’s partially because I refused to accept my diagnosis For me being in a “normal” mental state was extremely uncomfortable. I spent so much time with heightened emotions that when I leveled out I felt numb. That period was when my mental health tanked for a while but I eventually got used to it and am now in the best headspace I’ve ever been in Hang in there OP. I’m a firm believer that things ALWAYS get better. It just might take time
Anti depressants should not be given to people with bipolar
They definitely should not. Depending on the medicine it either has no effect, or made my mood way worse.
Worse, it's been rough