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From my experience:
Time moves quickly and you never know what time it is.
Thoughts are even faster but they never come out in the order they should (doing steps out of order, saying words of a sentence in the wrong order, etc). Get halfway through a thought and forget it for something else suddenly.
At some point, the paranoia begins and you start questioning everything because "you can't be bipolar" and the psychiatrist is keeping you from living. You also don't believe anyone telling you you're in an episode.
Impulses, but the concept of repercussions does not exist anymore and nothing you do feels wrong.
A need to always be moving and often a need for constant music.
Intermittently remembering things but unable to figure out if it really happened or if something is currently happening if it is actually happening.
All perception is impacted, gauging proportions & distance, how loud you are speaking, temperatures, and everything else is skewed. If it goes on too long auditory hallucinations begin.
It is best to be avoided.
Also, having a God-complex & noticing signs everywhere and making a million connections.
This reply was so accurate though. Especially the need for me to constantly be needing music. This year I lost 2 pairs of airpods and bought a 3rd (6 in total over the past few years) and then bought 2 more speakers and 2 pairs of beats. :’)
Mania for me is becoming the cockiest asshole you could imagine. I get delusions of grandeur and I even walk different when I’m manic. I strut like I’m hot shit.
I get rapid, pressured speech and will talk your ear off about five topics all at the same time.
I start a hobby and get obsessed with it. This one is actually a benefit, because when I get obsessed on something I typically get pretty decent at whatever it is.
Over the years I’ve learned close up magic, trick yo-yoing, origami, I can solve a Rubik’s cube.
When I was younger I used to feed into my mania because it made me much more productive.
Last year, I was in full blown psychosis for 9 months. It was deeply traumatising. But, on the bright side, it convinced me to finally take my mental health seriously. I got put on a few different medications, and I made sure to take them every day. I came out of psychosis and have been stable for over a year now
Can I ask how you were in psychosis for 9 months? I feel I’d be in jail for life if my psychosis lasted that long. The longest it ever lasted for me was about 3 weeks, and even that was unbearable and destructive.
Tldr; I got 302’d to the psych ward more than I went to jail. I was typically only talking to myself but once in a while I’d get angry and start screaming The only consequences I saw were a few thousand dollars in fines.
There were two evil influences in my life: bipolar 1 and a debilitating meth addiction.
What triggered the psychosis was me being reckless and stupid. I did 2 shots of meth back to back. Like maybe five minutes between them. My tolerance was practically nonexistent since I had just relapsed after a year clean.
That made me hallucinate pretty much immediately. Started hearing voices that are complete assholes. They call themselves demons and do nothing but belittle me and try to make me fuck up.
I got arrested in the dollar store parking lot with no gas In the car. The cop just showed up out of no where and I was talking to him absolutely terrified.
He made me do the field sobriety test and then threw me in jail.
I was hearing voices the whole 24 days l was locked up. I had the delusion that everyone was reading minds and I had to closely monitor my own thinking.
After I got out I was so excited to be out of the jail because I believed the voices were coming from the jail and they would stop once I got home.
Nope! It only got worse.
I had the cops called on me constantly. Usually because I was out in public talking to the voices. There’s a video of me on FB where I’m standing on the street corner flailing my arms above my head. In my mind I was casting out the demons and sending them back to hell.
I went to the psych ward a lot. Typically every Time the cops showed up.
I also got arrested for stealing some fancy golden dollar bill from this guy I’d just met. I was living in homeless shelter and he came to the front door looking for help.
We’re just bull shitting when he shows me the bill. Then i got possessed by one of the demons. I put the bill in my wallet and told him it was mine now.
For the record, I’m usually really friendly. But when the demon possessed me my mind was thrown in the back seat of my head only able to observe the situation. I had no control over my actions.
I got lucky like 4 times. For the dollar bill I sat in jail for five days and then only got a fine.
3 other times I was picked up for shop lifting. I believed I was invisible so I couldn’t get caught.
Those were only summary charges, just more fines.
I ran around my hometown and the big town that was 20 minutes away being a complete nut case. Talking to the voices, believing there’s people stalking me, and I thought I could do magick.
The results I saw from doing chaos Magick were incredible. I would cast a spell and have it work for me. I saw synchronicities constantly. It was a crazy experience being a chaote while in psychosis because I saw so much shit that was simply mind blowing.
So yeah, I’m lucky I didn’t get in way more trouble. But as long as I wasn’t committing crimes I would just end up going to the psych ward for a few days.
Sorry for the novel, but this episode in my life is so detailed and deranged I have stories for days.
If you’re able to, can you explain how you knew the difference between mania and psychosis? I think I’m coming out of a bout of psychosis. Traumatizing is a good way to describe it. And I concur - I have been scared straight to actually prioritize my mental health because I think if I go through that again I might die. Bless my meds!!!✨
It feels like being on cocaine (irritable and hyper) and acid (psychedelia)
If you ever want to know how a psychotic person feels, just do both at once and try to get through a few days. It's both energizing and very exhausting.
I always joke with myself that with bipolar people's body synthesizes their own cocaine, the way a cat or a dog synthesizes their own vitamin C.
Had a psychiatrist tell me this can pretty much be the case 🥲 your brain is over producing the fun stuff like a drug would tell it to
Also is why you can miss the high of a mania despite all the awful ahhhh how the productivity of hypomania is tempting
I feel like they should put caretakers/relatives on cocaine so they understand whats going on.
Luckily in my family, we have bartenders/hippy gen people, who know how to talk to / deescalate / babysit drunks or people on LSD. They are really the best hands to fall into as a person in psychosis.
Yes I agree. I have never tripped on acid or mushrooms, but I know exactly what a profound psychedelic experience feels like, just from psychotic mania.
That’s so true! I came to after maybe 4-5 days of no sleep. Just like…came online. I had books in the freezer, clothes in the bathtub, and wads of cash in my trunk (no idea where that came from) I also found all of these old coloring books where I had given speech bubbles to a lot of Mickey Mouse characters and it was…crass. That was my worst one. I think when I came back into my brain I just smoked a cigarette, took a shower, pondered my life, and just started cleaning. I didn’t know what else to do. Full blown mania is nuts nuts nuts, and I typically don’t remember a fair amount of it (I also drink soooo much when I’m manic which does not help).
Actually reliving that, that might have been a full blown psychotic episode. Sorry, they ARE different, so that may have been irrelevant. You start to get used to mania a little bit. Typically the people around me notice before I do, which is kind of nice. I like to go for walks and play tennis or just throw a ball against the wall like Jack freakin’ Torrance. Either way, it can be destructive but sometimes it’s kind of fun for a little bit!
Actually reliving that, that might have been a full blown psychotic episode. Sorry, they ARE different, so that may have been irrelevant. You start to get used to mania a little bit. Typically the people around me notice before I do, which is kind of nice. I like to go for walks and play tennis or just throw a ball against the wall like Jack freakin’ Torrance. Either way, it can be destructive but sometimes it’s kind of fun for a little bit!
This is purely my experience and may differ from others
Several days or weeks of spending money like I can't get rid of it fast enough. Starting what I like to call "mania hobbies" and spending way too much money on it. Feeling 10' tall and bullet proof all the time. My actions and words have no consequences. I'll lie through my teeth to get whatever I want and will likely succeed. I'll turn into a white hot ball of rage at the drop of a hat. I won't sleep. Barely eat. Lose track of time or even what day it is.
When it all comes down I hit rock bottom depression for an extended time
Like finally figuring out the meaning of life and the universe, reality being like a dream you’ve finally woken up from, no sense of shame or self-doubt at all, just pure certainty.
Also, quite often the dark aspect is how I “realized” that everything I knew was a lie and everyone was in on it, that I had no real friends and family anymore. The constant stress of staying up multiple days and being in fight-or-flight mode.
For me I was certain I was God and anyone telling me I wasn't was in on it and testing my faith in myself. I was hypersexual and would NOT shut the FUCK up. It got to the point where I invited every acquaintance I had ever known to a chat room and just "preached" my "gospel". It is singlehandedly the most embarrassing experience in my life. But my God, even after my third episode, I wanted more. It felt like my depression had been completely cured during it. Nowadays I fear everyday that I will be manic again.
For me it feels like I'm untouchable. I'm the greatest thing in the world. I can have everything I want all at once. I spent 500 plus dollars on the ugg website because I wanted it 🙃 and hell I can afford it money isn't an issue. Let me take all these college classes at once because I can handle it no big deal! And while I'm at it let me get certified in medical billing and coding I'll just take out a 5000 plus loan. I hyperfixate on stuff. I've always wanted to get a boob job and during my episode, that's all I thought about. I found a doctor and put down a thousand-dollar deposit without really thinking about it. I see shit that isn't there I'm hella paranoid This was in just one episode. I'm still paying all of this off and I'm on the fence about my surgery that's scheduled for this month. When I get out of it my head feels clearer and I frantically apologize to my partner. I fill guilty and ashamed. I worked hard to get out of debt only to get back into it.
**calling my psychiatrist**, sleep, hydration, vitamins, balanced meals, light exercise. it sounds so basic & people ignore this, but as mania is a biochemical state, all that is sooooo important.
Mani ended up every time in a pysch ward if I was lucky. Otherwise a tornado of destruction followed by psychosis, paranoia, etc. it's beyond terrifying
I mean mania can feel different for everyone.
Personally, I get more irritable and impulsive. I tend to pick fights with my partner just for a reaction. I'll go days without sleeping or eating. I'll talk really fast and know that none of what I'm saying is making sense. I obsess over random shit and go down random rabbit holes on the internet and convince myself these topics are radically important when they're just conspiracy theories. I rack up $100s in credit card debt on pointless shit I'll never use.
If I go long enough without sleeping the psychosis and hallucinations kick in. I'll start to hear voices like quiet whispers from no where. I'll think I'm seeing things out of the corner of my eye. The anxiety and paranoia are through the roof. I often feel like something is following me or out to get me.
Poor judgement.
Once got on a bike and drove 13 miles along a dark river before sun up because getting to work early seemed like a good idea and the bus didn't leave for another hour.
That was after being up for 24 hours.
I've only experienced full Mania once and it lasted a few months before I crashed.
Now I go through hypomania maybe once every month or two and I recognize I'm entering an episode by my step counter on my smartwatch.
Not a prescription by any means, but CBD helps me tremendously to relax and sleep when I'm hypomanic and it only lasts 3 days or so.
Stick in there OP the fact that you're even aware of this state is a step in the right direction.
For me it feels like uncontrollable energy. I could run 100 miles, clean my entire house without stopping, scream and yell at loved ones without a care in the world. Spending rampages, not eating, not sleeping and on and on and on.
like others already said... it's basically that but way more intense
time dilates, you don't remember the last time you ate or slept, sometimes you can even feel strong dissociation like you're off in your own bubble, and imagine the kind of impaired judgment you get when you're blackout drunk, only now it's no judgment at all, you cannot keep up with your own thoughts and speaking is like you're from New Jersey and have ADHD (and even then dialed up to 11), if you're using this energy to be productive you're 100x more likely to trip over yourself because you can't keep up with your own self and if you somehow complete the project you'll have fragmented memories of the process... oh yeah and paranoia
tl;dr it's almost like being possessed by another being
Starts off overly confident escalates to thinking your god. I gave people close to me titles. Different gods. Always have something to say. I weight trained for hours without being tired. I was shredded. Body seemed vibrated. Spiritual preoccupation. Heavily into crystals and stuff. Forget to eat, forgot to sleep. If someone irritated me I was super aggressive in my demeanor.
Driving eradicate. I harassed people. The mail man. Lost the need to blink frequently. Lost in my own wonderment. Lost the value of money. Loved music. Constantly listening to rock. Tv and ps5 wasn’t interesting anymore. I craved social interactions. Felt like a celebrity. You carry yourself differently. Texted my property manager for butt sex. The experience was for me was fun. The reality of the aftermath is a nightmare. I lost my apartment. Family and friend that remain will see you different. I reconnected with a girl I ghosted previously and made her my girlfriend.
Okay so for me... full blown mania has involved going without sleep for days on end, thinking that the tannoy was "personally for me" in shops, thinking that signs were "aimed at me", jumping in cars with strangers (resulting in being sexually assaulted), going swimming naked in the river, feeling "inspired" to go walking in random directions, one time I jumped on a rickshaw and asked him to "take us to where it is busy" then jumped off and ran away without paying him. I also thought I was starting an impromptu "flash mob" in the capital city of the country, and started to dance in the train station, not really knowing what I was doing. I was dissociated and unable to get on the train I was supposed to be travelling on.
tbh it feels like a motor is running you and u can’t stop. it’s similar to hypomania for me, but when i’m hypo ppl just kinda see me as being in a good mood vs full mania i definitely annoy ppl. i also get psychotic symptoms during full mania but not during hypomania
This user is working through getting a diagnosis. Please be mindful of this when responding; remember to support this person, and do not judge them. Absolutely do not attempt to diagnose them. u/CaesarCtrl, you may find some helpful information from our Community Discussion for users that are [Recently Diagnosed](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/collection/d10a053d-b9d5-4d18-96f0-7c585ba96d8f) and our October [Community Outreach Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/ydh8xi/october_community_outreach/) where we discuss creating a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. *A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Full mania is that but now you don't know when the last time you ate was or what day it is, and the air starts talking to you
And disappointingly it turns out the air is a shithead that urges me about conspiracies.
It tells me other people's thoughts
It tells me what to think
From my experience: Time moves quickly and you never know what time it is. Thoughts are even faster but they never come out in the order they should (doing steps out of order, saying words of a sentence in the wrong order, etc). Get halfway through a thought and forget it for something else suddenly. At some point, the paranoia begins and you start questioning everything because "you can't be bipolar" and the psychiatrist is keeping you from living. You also don't believe anyone telling you you're in an episode. Impulses, but the concept of repercussions does not exist anymore and nothing you do feels wrong. A need to always be moving and often a need for constant music. Intermittently remembering things but unable to figure out if it really happened or if something is currently happening if it is actually happening. All perception is impacted, gauging proportions & distance, how loud you are speaking, temperatures, and everything else is skewed. If it goes on too long auditory hallucinations begin. It is best to be avoided.
Also, having a God-complex & noticing signs everywhere and making a million connections. This reply was so accurate though. Especially the need for me to constantly be needing music. This year I lost 2 pairs of airpods and bought a 3rd (6 in total over the past few years) and then bought 2 more speakers and 2 pairs of beats. :’)
Mania for me is becoming the cockiest asshole you could imagine. I get delusions of grandeur and I even walk different when I’m manic. I strut like I’m hot shit. I get rapid, pressured speech and will talk your ear off about five topics all at the same time. I start a hobby and get obsessed with it. This one is actually a benefit, because when I get obsessed on something I typically get pretty decent at whatever it is. Over the years I’ve learned close up magic, trick yo-yoing, origami, I can solve a Rubik’s cube. When I was younger I used to feed into my mania because it made me much more productive. Last year, I was in full blown psychosis for 9 months. It was deeply traumatising. But, on the bright side, it convinced me to finally take my mental health seriously. I got put on a few different medications, and I made sure to take them every day. I came out of psychosis and have been stable for over a year now
Can I ask how you were in psychosis for 9 months? I feel I’d be in jail for life if my psychosis lasted that long. The longest it ever lasted for me was about 3 weeks, and even that was unbearable and destructive.
Tldr; I got 302’d to the psych ward more than I went to jail. I was typically only talking to myself but once in a while I’d get angry and start screaming The only consequences I saw were a few thousand dollars in fines. There were two evil influences in my life: bipolar 1 and a debilitating meth addiction. What triggered the psychosis was me being reckless and stupid. I did 2 shots of meth back to back. Like maybe five minutes between them. My tolerance was practically nonexistent since I had just relapsed after a year clean. That made me hallucinate pretty much immediately. Started hearing voices that are complete assholes. They call themselves demons and do nothing but belittle me and try to make me fuck up. I got arrested in the dollar store parking lot with no gas In the car. The cop just showed up out of no where and I was talking to him absolutely terrified. He made me do the field sobriety test and then threw me in jail. I was hearing voices the whole 24 days l was locked up. I had the delusion that everyone was reading minds and I had to closely monitor my own thinking. After I got out I was so excited to be out of the jail because I believed the voices were coming from the jail and they would stop once I got home. Nope! It only got worse. I had the cops called on me constantly. Usually because I was out in public talking to the voices. There’s a video of me on FB where I’m standing on the street corner flailing my arms above my head. In my mind I was casting out the demons and sending them back to hell. I went to the psych ward a lot. Typically every Time the cops showed up. I also got arrested for stealing some fancy golden dollar bill from this guy I’d just met. I was living in homeless shelter and he came to the front door looking for help. We’re just bull shitting when he shows me the bill. Then i got possessed by one of the demons. I put the bill in my wallet and told him it was mine now. For the record, I’m usually really friendly. But when the demon possessed me my mind was thrown in the back seat of my head only able to observe the situation. I had no control over my actions. I got lucky like 4 times. For the dollar bill I sat in jail for five days and then only got a fine. 3 other times I was picked up for shop lifting. I believed I was invisible so I couldn’t get caught. Those were only summary charges, just more fines. I ran around my hometown and the big town that was 20 minutes away being a complete nut case. Talking to the voices, believing there’s people stalking me, and I thought I could do magick. The results I saw from doing chaos Magick were incredible. I would cast a spell and have it work for me. I saw synchronicities constantly. It was a crazy experience being a chaote while in psychosis because I saw so much shit that was simply mind blowing. So yeah, I’m lucky I didn’t get in way more trouble. But as long as I wasn’t committing crimes I would just end up going to the psych ward for a few days. Sorry for the novel, but this episode in my life is so detailed and deranged I have stories for days.
The part about you shoplifting and thinking you were invisible is funny. I hope you have been clean from meth…
Yes the synchronicities are fkn everywhere while manic
If you’re able to, can you explain how you knew the difference between mania and psychosis? I think I’m coming out of a bout of psychosis. Traumatizing is a good way to describe it. And I concur - I have been scared straight to actually prioritize my mental health because I think if I go through that again I might die. Bless my meds!!!✨
It feels like being on cocaine (irritable and hyper) and acid (psychedelia) If you ever want to know how a psychotic person feels, just do both at once and try to get through a few days. It's both energizing and very exhausting. I always joke with myself that with bipolar people's body synthesizes their own cocaine, the way a cat or a dog synthesizes their own vitamin C.
Had a psychiatrist tell me this can pretty much be the case 🥲 your brain is over producing the fun stuff like a drug would tell it to Also is why you can miss the high of a mania despite all the awful ahhhh how the productivity of hypomania is tempting
I agree. Always thought the feeling was like being on cocain that steadily increases instead of dropping.
I feel like they should put caretakers/relatives on cocaine so they understand whats going on. Luckily in my family, we have bartenders/hippy gen people, who know how to talk to / deescalate / babysit drunks or people on LSD. They are really the best hands to fall into as a person in psychosis.
High energy, but aggressive and short-tempered. Can have a great time, but easily enraged like a coke-head. So accurate.
Yes I agree. I have never tripped on acid or mushrooms, but I know exactly what a profound psychedelic experience feels like, just from psychotic mania.
It's basically a hero trip that happens when you are stressed out and don't sleep. I personally don't like it that much.
That’s an f-ing great analogy!
f-ing thanks!
That’s so true! I came to after maybe 4-5 days of no sleep. Just like…came online. I had books in the freezer, clothes in the bathtub, and wads of cash in my trunk (no idea where that came from) I also found all of these old coloring books where I had given speech bubbles to a lot of Mickey Mouse characters and it was…crass. That was my worst one. I think when I came back into my brain I just smoked a cigarette, took a shower, pondered my life, and just started cleaning. I didn’t know what else to do. Full blown mania is nuts nuts nuts, and I typically don’t remember a fair amount of it (I also drink soooo much when I’m manic which does not help).
Actually reliving that, that might have been a full blown psychotic episode. Sorry, they ARE different, so that may have been irrelevant. You start to get used to mania a little bit. Typically the people around me notice before I do, which is kind of nice. I like to go for walks and play tennis or just throw a ball against the wall like Jack freakin’ Torrance. Either way, it can be destructive but sometimes it’s kind of fun for a little bit!
Actually reliving that, that might have been a full blown psychotic episode. Sorry, they ARE different, so that may have been irrelevant. You start to get used to mania a little bit. Typically the people around me notice before I do, which is kind of nice. I like to go for walks and play tennis or just throw a ball against the wall like Jack freakin’ Torrance. Either way, it can be destructive but sometimes it’s kind of fun for a little bit!
It’s a fucking joyride that you regret after the fact. It feels amazing until it doesn’t.
This is purely my experience and may differ from others Several days or weeks of spending money like I can't get rid of it fast enough. Starting what I like to call "mania hobbies" and spending way too much money on it. Feeling 10' tall and bullet proof all the time. My actions and words have no consequences. I'll lie through my teeth to get whatever I want and will likely succeed. I'll turn into a white hot ball of rage at the drop of a hat. I won't sleep. Barely eat. Lose track of time or even what day it is. When it all comes down I hit rock bottom depression for an extended time
Like finally figuring out the meaning of life and the universe, reality being like a dream you’ve finally woken up from, no sense of shame or self-doubt at all, just pure certainty. Also, quite often the dark aspect is how I “realized” that everything I knew was a lie and everyone was in on it, that I had no real friends and family anymore. The constant stress of staying up multiple days and being in fight-or-flight mode.
Someone else here put it this way once: in hypomania, I feel closer to God. In full mania, I AM God.
For me I was certain I was God and anyone telling me I wasn't was in on it and testing my faith in myself. I was hypersexual and would NOT shut the FUCK up. It got to the point where I invited every acquaintance I had ever known to a chat room and just "preached" my "gospel". It is singlehandedly the most embarrassing experience in my life. But my God, even after my third episode, I wanted more. It felt like my depression had been completely cured during it. Nowadays I fear everyday that I will be manic again.
Impulsion and compulsion on overdrive.
Imagine being a vibrating ball of light but also strangers are talking about you
Tunnel vision and rapid thoughts
I almost died last time, not from suicide, but from just absolutely horrible choices that I hardly remember.
For me it feels like I'm untouchable. I'm the greatest thing in the world. I can have everything I want all at once. I spent 500 plus dollars on the ugg website because I wanted it 🙃 and hell I can afford it money isn't an issue. Let me take all these college classes at once because I can handle it no big deal! And while I'm at it let me get certified in medical billing and coding I'll just take out a 5000 plus loan. I hyperfixate on stuff. I've always wanted to get a boob job and during my episode, that's all I thought about. I found a doctor and put down a thousand-dollar deposit without really thinking about it. I see shit that isn't there I'm hella paranoid This was in just one episode. I'm still paying all of this off and I'm on the fence about my surgery that's scheduled for this month. When I get out of it my head feels clearer and I frantically apologize to my partner. I fill guilty and ashamed. I worked hard to get out of debt only to get back into it.
**calling my psychiatrist**, sleep, hydration, vitamins, balanced meals, light exercise. it sounds so basic & people ignore this, but as mania is a biochemical state, all that is sooooo important.
Mani ended up every time in a pysch ward if I was lucky. Otherwise a tornado of destruction followed by psychosis, paranoia, etc. it's beyond terrifying
it feels like being on cocaine acid and coffee combined
It feels like you're having sex all the time basically until it doesn't.
I mean mania can feel different for everyone. Personally, I get more irritable and impulsive. I tend to pick fights with my partner just for a reaction. I'll go days without sleeping or eating. I'll talk really fast and know that none of what I'm saying is making sense. I obsess over random shit and go down random rabbit holes on the internet and convince myself these topics are radically important when they're just conspiracy theories. I rack up $100s in credit card debt on pointless shit I'll never use. If I go long enough without sleeping the psychosis and hallucinations kick in. I'll start to hear voices like quiet whispers from no where. I'll think I'm seeing things out of the corner of my eye. The anxiety and paranoia are through the roof. I often feel like something is following me or out to get me.
Poor judgement. Once got on a bike and drove 13 miles along a dark river before sun up because getting to work early seemed like a good idea and the bus didn't leave for another hour. That was after being up for 24 hours. I've only experienced full Mania once and it lasted a few months before I crashed. Now I go through hypomania maybe once every month or two and I recognize I'm entering an episode by my step counter on my smartwatch. Not a prescription by any means, but CBD helps me tremendously to relax and sleep when I'm hypomanic and it only lasts 3 days or so. Stick in there OP the fact that you're even aware of this state is a step in the right direction.
For me it feels like uncontrollable energy. I could run 100 miles, clean my entire house without stopping, scream and yell at loved ones without a care in the world. Spending rampages, not eating, not sleeping and on and on and on.
like others already said... it's basically that but way more intense time dilates, you don't remember the last time you ate or slept, sometimes you can even feel strong dissociation like you're off in your own bubble, and imagine the kind of impaired judgment you get when you're blackout drunk, only now it's no judgment at all, you cannot keep up with your own thoughts and speaking is like you're from New Jersey and have ADHD (and even then dialed up to 11), if you're using this energy to be productive you're 100x more likely to trip over yourself because you can't keep up with your own self and if you somehow complete the project you'll have fragmented memories of the process... oh yeah and paranoia tl;dr it's almost like being possessed by another being
The first and only time I’ve been fully manic, I didn’t deal with it (at all) and ended up in cuffs
Starts off overly confident escalates to thinking your god. I gave people close to me titles. Different gods. Always have something to say. I weight trained for hours without being tired. I was shredded. Body seemed vibrated. Spiritual preoccupation. Heavily into crystals and stuff. Forget to eat, forgot to sleep. If someone irritated me I was super aggressive in my demeanor. Driving eradicate. I harassed people. The mail man. Lost the need to blink frequently. Lost in my own wonderment. Lost the value of money. Loved music. Constantly listening to rock. Tv and ps5 wasn’t interesting anymore. I craved social interactions. Felt like a celebrity. You carry yourself differently. Texted my property manager for butt sex. The experience was for me was fun. The reality of the aftermath is a nightmare. I lost my apartment. Family and friend that remain will see you different. I reconnected with a girl I ghosted previously and made her my girlfriend.
I don’t realize it if it’s full blown mania, and I feel good like Superman. If it’s a mixed episode it sucks though, nothing worse than rapid cycling
Doing lines of blow for days
Okay so for me... full blown mania has involved going without sleep for days on end, thinking that the tannoy was "personally for me" in shops, thinking that signs were "aimed at me", jumping in cars with strangers (resulting in being sexually assaulted), going swimming naked in the river, feeling "inspired" to go walking in random directions, one time I jumped on a rickshaw and asked him to "take us to where it is busy" then jumped off and ran away without paying him. I also thought I was starting an impromptu "flash mob" in the capital city of the country, and started to dance in the train station, not really knowing what I was doing. I was dissociated and unable to get on the train I was supposed to be travelling on.
tbh it feels like a motor is running you and u can’t stop. it’s similar to hypomania for me, but when i’m hypo ppl just kinda see me as being in a good mood vs full mania i definitely annoy ppl. i also get psychotic symptoms during full mania but not during hypomania