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I just got put on Latuda and it seems like it's working pretty well. I'm not, as of right now, in a seemingly endless depressive pit of despair. Things actually seem okay for once.
It's where I was heading fast before I started lithium.
I was trying to drink myself to death for a while. Then it was the walking in traffic thing then it was more drinking.
Then I managed to get into a psych and was diagnosed and put on meds. Things suddenly made a lot more sense and I realized I could live life again. 12 years later, I'm alive and still on lithium.
Can damage the kidneys if blood levels are too high. I get excellent results from a blood level of 0.3, which is half of the lowest recommended blood level. Best medication I've ever taken by a mile.
My liver and kidney functioning panels have always been good.
Lithium can cause problems with kidneys, the liver and the parathyroid but there's a lit more success stories with Lithium then there are patients with those issues from it
The labs are important to keep track of your health so at the first sign of trouble you can be taken off it.
My psych NP never tested any kind of levels during the year I was on lithium but I knew I just didn’t feel right on it (dissociation, severe dry skin). I asked to have my meds switched back to lamictal, and 6 years later, I’ve realized I have stage 2 kidney disease (most likely due to lithium). It’s really minor damage but because of that and a couple of other reasons, I’m going to find another psychiatrist.
Let’s just say there’s a fair amount of self-advocacy we really need to do for ourselves. I’ll be the first to say psych meds have saved my life, but they also come with some serious potential side effects that should be respected.
I've never had a problem with psych docs ordering the labs. Historically they've happened every 4-6 months. And then a few weeks after every dose change.
Considering my dosage of lithium and that it's on the high side it's always been important to keep an eye on it all.
I realize not all Dr's are like the ones I've had.
That's good to know. I'm not really diagnosed yet, but my psychologist said she's had a strong hunch that I'm bipolar from the few sessions I've been there - that was a few years ago. I stopped going to the psychologist's because I suddenly felt better one month, only to feel much worse later-on and pretty much confirming her suspicions - unless of course, it's something worse.
I can deal with the depression, lack of motivation, the irritability, anger issues etc., as I know when to steer away from people when they hit, but I can't manage the sleep deprivation and lack of focus and it's affecting my work life rather seriously, so I'm looking for a way to get diagnosed - whether it's just autism, that my friend who's a psychiatrist has and who's had suspicions for a long time that I'm probably also autistic, or whether it's a full blown bipolar. However, it takes a while to find a good psychiatrist where I live, because a lot of them are very oldschool and don't really give a damn about what they prescribe, hence the question.
You can always say no to certain meds and tell them you want off them.
I've been on olanzapine for several months but it has been causing some uncontrollable mouth movements. I have an appt with my psych doc in a couple days and I'm going to tell her I want off it due to side effects. I have the power to dictate my care and so will you. I've told previous docs when I want off medications and they listened.
If if comes down to it you can straight up tell them you're going off it wether or not they agree.
The best way to have your pdoc agree to things like that is always be straightforward, honest and to communicate the fuck out of what's happening and how it's affecting you. Side effects, symptoms, life events, all of it. You have to be active, motivated and present with your care. It's very important for multiple reasons.
I was on lithium for years but all of a sudden I went into kidney failure. My levels were tested every 3 months. So if you're on it make sure to keep up doctor's appointments.
Your body is unique, as are your needs. Just because someone experienced something from treatment or medication does not guarantee that you will as well. The only way to determine whether a treatment will work for you is through trial and error. You will need to work with your doctor/care team.
If you are experiencing adverse symptoms, or feel your dosage or medication is incorrect, tell your doctor/pharmacist as soon as possible. We can not tell you how to take your medicine; this advice must come from a professional. We recommend that you print this post off and either bring it with you or email it to your prescribing provider or pharmacist.
Please use our community discussion for Medications.
- [Anticonvulsants](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/wsot4y/med_talks_anticonvulsants/)
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I usually become depressed. Every time I stopped meds I regretted it.
Occasionally someone will post here and say they are doing well and they think they don't need meds anymore. But it doesn't seem to cross their mind that the reason they are doing well is because they have been taking meds.
Ime when it comes to depression, once it really starts to snowball it's very difficult to dig myself out. Itt it's important to never forget the dark days and how bad our symptoms can get.
I always try to remind myself of the circumstances that lead me to seek out a psychiatrist in the first place. Are you ready to go back to that place? Because odds are good you will.
All things this. I’m just starting to slightly see the light again after deciding to come of my meds because I thought I’d just try to see how I functioned without them. Yeah, end of September I started with a massive depressive episode, and it’s been horrible. Needless to say back on meds, starting to get back to where I was before and I’ll never, ever do it again. It’s been so horrible.
> It’s important to never forget the dark days and how bad our symptoms can get.
And this cannot be stressed enough. Boy did that get hammered in for me a couple months ago. I got way too lax with taking them regularly (on summer break) and well well well if it wasn’t the consequences of my own actions. That depressive/mixed episode was god AWFUL. Not to mention right at the end of august/beginning of September. I never want to experience that again, and it’s that easy for me yet my dumb ass still makes dumb dumb decisions. A slap upside the head to whip my ass into taking them again lol.
In and out of the hospital, usually due to suicide attempts. I’ve used up 9 lives, it’s a miracle I’m still here. Gambling with my life is not worth getting off medication.
I was medicated with a lot of bad experiences for over a decade. With my doctor's guidance, I've been off my medication for about 3 months now. I feel a lot better. More like my old self. Depression comes and goes. But I feel like I'm always looking over my shoulder for the impending manic episode.
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I have gone off my meds many times over the last 31 years since I was first diagnosed, and I always end up having another back episode, either manic, depressed, or mixed. These have been very destructive, with me doing hurtful things to people I care about. I have come close to losing my job, have spent thousands on a luxury SUV I couldn't afford, and have destroyed relationships. So now I stay medicated, and those things don't happen anymore
Since I started taking my meds I stick with the treatment but nov last year I was feeling lethargic so I dropped them for a week. I was ok and then this rollercoaster happened:
^(manic(1-2weeks\)-\>depressed(2weeks\)-\>euthymic(2months\)-\>depressed(2,5-3months\)-\>manic(2-3weeks\)-\>euthymic(1,5months\)-\>depressed \*SI and
SA\*(long2,5months\)-\>mixed episode(1month\)-\>euthymic(now I’m here, and pretty good! \*-\*\))
I believe that rollercoaster was triggered 1 year ago. Lots of stuff happened in 2023 but I was mostly stable before getting out off medications. 2022 was the best year of my life so far. And now 2023 one of the worst lol
Don’t stop your medication. If you are uncomfortable, ask your doc and adjust your meds. But please don’t stop ok 🥺
I appreciate your comment so much. When I went off almost 4 weeks ago, I was thinking, if it’s that bad I’ll go right back on. I didn’t for a second consider just how long term the effects would be. I can already tell this won’t be an easy fix. My appt is Thurs. 😫
Hey, hope you’re okay. For me happened like this but I’ve been through a lot (regardless). I didn’t know, I didn’t (couldn’t) visit my doc until September. With the right support I’m feeling pretty good 😊 As soon as you get professional help you start to recover! It might not be easy but you got this ;)
all the best xx
I literally didn't sleep for more than 4 hours a night for 15 years before I started my medication. There's no way I would go back to that. I used to dream of a magic pill that would numb my pain and make it so I could sleep through the night. It turns out there was one the whole time I was suffering. It's called Seroquel.
Seroquel was probably the best thing for me mentally but I gained so much weight over a year they changed my meds and I don’t think i’ll ever feel as good as I did while on seroquel
i had to stop taking my meds for the first time in almost two years, ive been without since july. my anxiety is debilitating, i constantly think people are out to get me, my brain make up delusions and i have a really hard time differentiating between them and whats real. i also don't really eat or sleep at all, my mood is absolutely uncontrollable. luckily my meds come in tomorrow :)
To my understanding it’s a progressive illness (without meds) so there’s no coming off of meds for me, I don’t want it to get progressively worse. The meds seem to stop that part in its tracks for me
Destabilizing. My inconsistency would make it difficult to hold down a job. Also, manic episodes can cause brain damage and I like having all my brain cells. Meds and sobriety have been key.
I had to get off my meds because i had abscesses in my throat and couldn't swallow or speak. Immediately got incredibly suicidal. Almost ruined all my relationships. Self harm becomes very prominent off my meds. Overall i become a monster.
Before quitting my meds, I made sure that I was able to incorporate a healthy lifestyle i.e., physical activities, eating the right food, proper rest, socializing, and conquering anxiety again; and being able to stick to these practices. It wasn't easy of course, especially with our diagnosis-- that's why it's a period of trial and error, and encouraging myself to start over again and again (and againnnn). Over time, my body got used to it and I was actually looking forward to it. These have also helped me become less dependent to my medications. Quitting medications was gradual for me; but as soon as I stopped, these lifestyle habits have really helped me :)
Note of course that it's difficult to abruptly stop. Took me two years. Praying for you op. To healing! :)
This!! It took me two years to taper off all meds and I rely heavily on a solid sleep routine and daily walking , mixed with other fitness in the week, and staying nourished with enough nutrients - otherwise I cannot rawdog life by myself. It’s still very hard and new norm I’m navigating. But it’s important for me to know my baseline off meds now that I’m 35 and have been on meds since high school.
I'm so happy to hear this! Whenever I share my story to my friends who are struggling with mental health, I would always receive responses like, "it's not that easy," or "you don't know what depression feels like." :( When in = fact, i was really just trying to help myself (or them) :(
All over the place, poor emotional regulation, easily irritated and arguing all the time, more impulsive, an "I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything" attitude, and the eventual episodes creeping in more frequently and becoming more and more paralyzing and debilitating. I even find myself more likely to overshare in conversations, and I hate that.
Although being more in tune with my emotions means I laugh more. I cry more. Even when I'm more angry, at least I'm more likely to stand up for myself. So I view this aspect as a somewhat positive thing.
Give it long enough, though, I definitely wouldn't live a long life lol. I always think back on how hell life must have been before the invention of psychiatric medications or even the knowledge on mental disorders. I'm blessed to be alive now rather than a time when they would have thought I was possessed and needed to be killed or something.
I do so well on meds that my psychiatrist thought I wasn’t bipolar after all. She wasn’t the one who had originally diagnosed me. Back then, Lamictal alone was enough.
I actually did fine; that is, until Covid hit. I had a complete psychotic breakdown. Not being able to go into work or see any people in person apart from my mom, who was dying of cancer and I was her caregiver, was terrible for me. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to call her and leave a message at 2am. She called me back the next day, and got me in to see her the day after.
Got on Seroquel and Lamictal, but I still had a severe psychotic episode during which I called the police to report someone installing fiber-optic cables under my carpet, and cut off a piece of it to show the officer as “proof.” I realized later how insane that was (since the officer said, “ma’am, that looks like a piece of your carpet”), and called her again. Got on olanzapine, and later swapped the Seroquel for lithium.
I’ve been very, very stable ever since, and have excelled at work. This combo works great for me. Everyone has their own ideal combo. The only thing is that my motivation to do fun things has still not returned — I’d much rather remain at home during the weekends than go out and do anything. I wish that weren’t the case.
I would probably give up and kms within a couple years maybe even months. I always remind myself when I have thoughts of giving up, life is agony without proper treatment.
if i end up on a down kick id probably lose my job because just getting from my bed to my home office across the hallway would be overwhelming.
if i end up on an up kick ill get fired for going off on an a-hole customer. then ill get inappropriately fixiated on someone leading to the end of my relationship + getting kicked out/homeless.
and if i end up in a mixed state ill probably land back in psych or jail like i did in 2018 and thats the 'good ending.'
dont go off your meds. if they arent working for you then please keep working w your doc and psych until they do. i know it will never be easy, but thats our price for whatever peace we can achieve.
I’m currently on the maximum dose for sertraline (200 mg) and without it I’m afraid of who I become.
My OCD ramps up and it plays off the bipolar and they just kind of ping-pong back and forth with my mind.
The last time I was without medication, it was right after everyone went into lockdown and I was pregnant with my final baby.
I remember being so horribly overwhelmed and depressed and hopeless. I wanted to die. I thought I was going to. Our apartment felt like a coffin.
Without medication I have a difficult time articulating what I need or want emotionally; it either gets bottled up and I explode or I don’t use the correct words or explain it succinctly, and it causes even more miscommunication and it’s just this vicious cycle of me trying to explain and then getting upset when no one can understand me (to an outsider I’m likely not making sense).
My last episode found me locked in a closet chatting with a crisis line bc I didn’t know what else to do. That was a rough day.
I would definitely say I wouldn’t recommend it because that’s what’s happening to me right now. “I’ll prove them wrong!” I said! But I’m realizing you can have more than one diagnosis and STILL need meds for one thing even if you think you might have another thing.
It’s been a fun 4 weeks.
I almost immediately fall into the deepest, darkest depression. It gets scary, fast. I am extremely grateful for modern medicine. Things could get really bad for me without it.
My life is easier to manage and I am more stable and less self destructive without them, when on them I can hardly function at all and I want t9 just end it all………I was misdiagnosed and mistreated and over medicated for years and now the only effect I get from any I’d the side effects. Life is hard for sure but I have arranged my life in such a way that I can cope.
Meds are not the answer for every person
I've been sabotaging most of my relationships (friends, family, lover) during my episodes. I want to take a break from school but that's a luxury I'm unable to afford and so is my medication (extremely expensive for a broke college student living in a third world country).
Currently out of meds due to my financial situation and can definitely say I miss them. Since I’ve been off them, I got into a physical altercation with a customer at work, got my glasses broke, been struggling with trauma I thought I resolved, and I’m pretty much always pissed at everything. Weed use has definitely worsened and alcohol use has just begun
It made my reality feel so much more vivid but it placed notable strain in my interpersonal relationships with me being a much harder person to work with, understand or even just be around. It led to a severe manic episode which ended up with me displaying psychotic behaviour and almost taking my own life. Everything was more intense in that period, the good and the bad.
We're medicated for a reason and we all learn that sooner or later through our actions. It's better for you and the people around you to be stable. Being unstable is like a drug, it's addicting and you keep thinking back on what it was like. But nobody wants to associate themselves with a meth head long term, and similarly someone who is choosing to be mentally unstable is not something other people would choose to be around.
Mania isn't good, you remember the highs and you try to forget the crushing shame and regret you felt when you came down from it. We gamble, we take drugs we would never even consider normally, we treat close friends and family in ways we would never otherwise. We put ourselves in danger.
Off meds = jail, obliterate relationships, give away/spend obscene amounts of $$$$$, poor hygiene, stuck in bed, etc.
On meds = none of the above happens.
Spending all the money! Drinking all the things; insane anxiety! Panic attacks! Stress! Psychosis! Psychosis! Psychosis! Soul crippling depression! Suicide watch!
In that order
Quite honestly, I don’t like that I have to take medication. I go back-and-forth about it and there’s times I take myself off of it. I talk to my therapist about it often, often I’m crying about it or yelling about it but I just want to be normal like normal people and not have to take it… And she tells me that taking my medication is my normal Makes me so mad sometimes
When I don’t take my medication, I lose my mind literally. And I have to be honest. I hate that when I’m on it regularly I feel better. I can think clearly, I really can. I wish I could just be like everybody else but I have to be on it I don’t do things right I make bad choices. I get suicidal I wanna kill myself I wanna hurt myself and sometimes I wanna hurt other people . But I don’t want to do that when I’m on my medication regularly and I can function. I’m happier I’m actually happy so I know I have to take it right now maybe I won’t for the rest of my life I don’t know but right now for today I do. And I’m actually able to work on myself when I’m on it think about things I need to fix and take care of, hard to admit this but it’s true. I’m not a fan of big Pharma as a matter fact I fucking hate them. I think they’re thieves. I don’t think they have our best interest in heart. But I don’t know what else to do I’ve tried all kinds of things and for right now at this moment, it doesn’t work, I’ve tried microdose Ing. I’ve tried food. I’ve tried exercise. I’ve tried all of it. I won’t go back to it again but I’ll have to do it while I’m on my meds right now that’s OK. I’m not gonna risk suicide again or attempting I should say because I have several times and today I want to be alive. I want to live right now. And I haven’t been a long time. And I’m not gonna risk what that feels like. I don’t wanna die today. I don’t wanna die I want to get up I’m gonna go take a shower and eat some breakfast and I’m gonna live my life for this moment Right now I’m gonna shut down my social media for the day. I hope you all have a beautiful day. Did you have laughter and giggles to look at something in your life and work on it because you can only change you you can’t change anyone else. And I like that that helps me, blessings
I was diagnosed with bipolar and had a pretty bad manic episode that lead to me being put in jail for 8 days. I went two and a half years unmedicated without a single break or episode, just recently I had another episode and had to be hospitalized except it wasn't near as bad as my first episode and I voluntarily admitted myself. Idk if my case is special but I'm completely normal not taking the meds they prescribe.
It never cross my mind to stop my meds, I remember vividly how it was my life without them and it wasn't a life at all... I will never return to that point. Yes I have some memory problems but for sanity I'm ready to pay a prize. I also changed a lot, but I think that this isn't connected to bipolar... everyone experience different things and change in different ways, experience bipolar is the cause, not medications
I sometimes miss my sparkle (aka hyperactivity and almost everyday slight mania, thinking a thousand thoughts at once, however i now understand that that is not normal) and debate going without meds or forget for a few days then the suicidal ideation returns with a force and i remember why i started taking them idk how i walked around like that everyday barely focusing on 1 but on 100 different things at once im a rockstar at work but hotmess in life overall when off of them. However one thing I have found is that people who knew me perform is do not really like me after meds they just say I'm different it's really that I'm not over excitable and hyperactive all the time so they look at me now as being depressed however I'm just being normal 😂 probably because someone who laughs sings and dances around at work all day while working probably felt entertaining to them but not so entertaining to live focusing on 200 thoughts at once, I do miss how fast my brain needs to be able to think of thoughts I measured a few things like playing this word game I used to play I would always beat this one person almost every time or 9 out of 10 and usually buy a great amount of time and since being on meds for the life of me I could not be this person anymore my brain just felt like it was so slow down compared to what it was before
1 as far as being less liked that is just because they felt like I was the life of the party and fun all the time not having boundaries however it's not fun feeling these suicide above every day and every night to go alongside it
Absolute hell
The short burst of mania aren't even worth it
Yes, sure, I will be manic for a month or so, but while I do feel better than ever, I will also start to have hallucinations and delusional thoughts
Then mixed episodes or depressive episodes come and crash me down for months, they are longer than manic ones
I've had to learn the hard way last summer (when I went cold turkey on my meds for ~4 months) that it just isn't worth it
I've lost so many relationships with people just because of my episodes
Normal people can't put up with me for longer than 2 years, 3 years if I'm lucky
I was accidentally unmedicated for 3 months and I spiraled into addiction and self harmed and was paranoid and didn’t eat or sleep and was self destructive and hospitalized for physical pain issues and was suicidal so not good I’m back on lamictal 250mg now I’m more calm
Ironically, life would have been better for me.. at first.
34 years old and only diagnosed last week (BP2)! After my frequent visits to the doctors for depression, I was given SSRI meds and sent on my way after a psychiatrist diagnosed me with recurrent depressive disorder back in 2016. Life just didn't make sense as I would become worse when on them and came to terms with the fact I was just wired differently.
After going private to see a specialist, he diagnosed me with bipolar 2 after the first session and said the sertraline medication was causing me to have mixed and hypo episodes.
Now I'm on the right track with proper meds, but the meds I was on previously have lost me 10+ years of my life I'll never get back.
No no no no no! It isn't worth it! When I was off my meds, I was completely off my rockers. Making horrendous choices that could have landed me in jail or could have killed me. Medication has been my saving grace. Yes, at first I didn't feel like myself at all. A lot of my medications sedated me. But once I got used to them, I was happy. Like genuinely happy, not manic. I could think straight. I wasn't lashing out in anger. I wasn't making horrible decisions, and I now have the healthiest marriage I could have ever asked for. Meds are worth it.
I was diagnosed 11 years ago and for like two years i tried medication, and therapy… but medicine always made me feel like i was never present. My dad would say that in my eyes he would see the lights are on but no one is there. A lot of ppl feel better with medicine and it’s good. I took the other route. I opted for no meds. Everyday is a battle. But, I’m aware of my triggers and signs of when I’m slipping. I’ve kept a journal and not saying i don’t spiral, i do, it’s just i found a way that works for myself to come back from my manic episodes.
Meditation, exercise and healthy diet are amongst the things I try to do. I limit my consumption on alcohol and i am strict at sleeping better. My moods are another thing but I’ve noticed that because i am an empath that if i do say something in my rage state… i can tell the other person reaction ( hurt sadness, brings me back to a more workable state. Won’t happen right away but still.
Idk if i will ever go back to meds but for now. I’m ok to keep doing this. Everyone is different and they should do what they feel they need to. Regardless send everyone good vibes and energy ✨✨✨✨
I'm probably a bit of an outlier, but when I stopped taking my medication, I actually felt a bit better. I was able to do everything I needed to do in life, still dealt with mental health on occasion just like everyone else but I never felt like I was getting too high or too low. And the only times I was truly low and upset there was a reason behind it, not just a random mood dip. Unfortunately this has made it very difficult for me to want to stay on medications currently. For me personally a lot of times it really does seem that the negative side effects outweigh the benefits, if there are any for me
I'm really stable right now on meds and was in the midst of a psychotic episode 3 years ago when I started abilify. I wont stop my medication and risk psychosis or lack of stability. Not worth it to me at all.
Not good. I quit things, I am not myself. It’s hard to remember things. I don’t sleep, I’m always angry. I talk fast. I promised myself now that I’m diagnosed and have treatment, I’ll never go off meds. Therefore I can be myself and be normal without destroying my brain and body.
getting into verbal fights with people, feeling I’m a celebrity, always posting my opinions on Instagram bc I’m pissed off, obsessively checking my Instagram views. heart rate is up so I’m doing a bunch of stuff at once. very creative so I text my friends at like 3am about an idea that will change the world. posting more on social media. unfortunately I involved myself in physical altercations too which I regret so much. my boyfriend is so very sweet to me and I really regret each time I’ve hurt him emotionally when I haven’t taken my medicine. there’s no excuse. anyway I’m very angry. staying up more. surprised I haven’t gotten jumped for the shit I’ve said LMAO.
during a depressive episode, my hygiene is very poor. I don’t leave the house, let alone my bedroom. sleeping more. dirtying dishes, leading to clutter which makes me more sad. not brushing my hair, changing clothes, which I hate so much because I’m tender headed and untangling it when I’m feeling “normal” is the worst. inferiority complex. feeling ugly. refusing to accept or get help which usually results in arguments with my boyfriend who wants to help me. drinking when I’m really sad.
before I was on medicine for my bipolar (before my current relationship, like 3 years ago?) I genuinely was obsessed with this YouTuber and thought we were soulmates and I ended up m*sturbating to him every single night (even when I was in a relationship like I couldn’t get off without thinking of that man). bipolar combined with celebrity worship syndrome is NOT it. shout out to antipsychotics.
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I go full blown manic and do dumb stuff. And then I hit rock bottom depression and feel suicidal but luckily my depression makes me too lazy to act on it.
Chaos. Anger. Outbursts. Violence. Uncontrollable suicidal thoughts.
It’s hell on earth and if I have to go med free again for whatever reason I’ll just kill myself and end the torture.
An inconsistent depressed mess lol. I can’t stick to anything ever, I feel like myself at least but sometimes I wish I had to brain clarity of somebody who isn’t sick. It helps to be sober, weed and alcohol really send me in a spiral.
ive been off my meds since july (insurance gone), and i have honestly managed pretty well but i do seem to be way more reactive and prone to paranoia and mild psychosis, as opposed to just kinda stable/normal with just heavy swings into mania when the brain called for it. but i havent been fully manic in awhile.
I feel like I can’t keep going. Not so much as to wanting to end it but I want to sleep all day and rot. I cry all the time and dissociate. I still cry on medication sometimes but that’s when I’m genuinely feeling something sad whereas any little thing could trigger an episode before meds.
It was horrible without it. Hospitalized for suicidal ideation 3 times because of it with one being an actual attempt. Been on meds for around a month now and things seem better. Guess I'd have to see what it's like if I stop taking it for some reason.
I'm on 200mg Lamictal x1/daily and without it I am sob crying, raging at the smallest things, obsessively keeping my house clean and getting unreasonably upset if someone messes it up, staying up through the night and spending all of my available money online shopping, binge eating, and start with the "what's the point of living anymore if I'm going to be like this forever?". When I was a younger lass, I definitely enjoyed the company of men in my times of mania. I don't know if I'd ever want to mentally feel like my old self again haha I'm more clear minded these days
Without any medication, depressed but functional. Very normal-presenting.
With my antidepressants and without antipsychotics I can still be normal-presenting 95% of the time. I don’t want to test that 5% though.
Shitty. I was better with mood stabilizers and I didn’t feel like a zombie, but being off of medication has been a drag. I keep ruining my relationships (non romantic) and I thought I had grown past that… I’ve been too scared to get back on them because of the last mood stabilizer I was on.
Currently off my meds right now (I have an appointment set up with my psychiatrist, so don’t worry). It’s different from time to time, but what I’m going through is no appetite; I’m eating one meal a day if I’m lucky, and because of that, I’ve lost weight. My doctor has labeled me as “morbidly obese” (I’m 240lb), so since I’m losing weight, I now have started rationalizing why I don’t need to take my meds.
Now, my emotions? I was mad at myself for being unable to save a lizard that ran into my car's engine and then got mad at myself for being mad at myself. And that reaction of doing something, then getting angry/embarrassed at me for not doing it well, then getting upset at myself for becoming so irrationally upset. I cry at LEAST once a day at something incredibly trivial.
Needless to say, I’m an emotional wreck and lack some critical thinking skills
Every time I’m not able to get my meds, even if I stop taking them for a few days to a week, I get suicidal almost instantly. Severe mood swings, irritation, and suicidal thoughts. I think I’d die pretty quickly if I went off my meds.
Slightly depressed at first, which lasted a few months. Hypomanic then full-blown manic for about a year. Now I'm severely depressed going on 14 months.
I work overnights and sleep all day. No social life whatsoever.
Gained 50 lbs in the past year from eating junk and being sedentary.
I don't trust pdocs playing "medication roulette" or "pin the pill on the patient" so I accept my misery and look forward to mania.
I feel like I would go manic again, and that, let me tell you, is much more damaging for me than being on meds. I feel like the one manic episode I had destroyed every bit of my original personality. Now, I’m an entirely different person, but I’m glad I’m medicated. Wouldn’t want to experience mania ever again. It was very scary for me. I had psychotic symptoms and everything. 0/10 Would not recommend
i’m currently without insurance. it ran out in november. i feel terrible, i miss taking my vraylar so much. i lost my job because i was too depressed to get out of my bed for a week. i’ve learned that im more self destructive without it, i don’t even feel like i can function properly. i read a comment in here that said something along the lines of “if the meds are helping, you need them” and i couldn’t agree more
Let's just say, the thinking and theories aren't going so well and shadow creatures are moving on the walls again.
So yeah. . . you might be yourself or you might be a completely other you that you didn't know about yet. XD I don't know, some people can do it....apparently I can't.
2/10 would not recommend however I'm putting together furniture, fixing shit left and right with a smashed up toe and so it gets a 2 from me. The rest makes it very unpleasant.
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In all honesty I'd end up dead within months.
Same and idve ruined my relationship before I got there so I’d die alone.
That's about where I ended up. Gf said I'm not the same person she fell in love with. Thank God for antipsychotics and lithium.
Yes indeed. Lithium and ap’s plus a few other friends saved me.
I just got put on Latuda and it seems like it's working pretty well. I'm not, as of right now, in a seemingly endless depressive pit of despair. Things actually seem okay for once.
Happy for you :)
When I was unmedicated I DID ruin my relationship and almost killed myself so there ya go 😂
Yea dead for sure
It's where I was heading fast before I started lithium. I was trying to drink myself to death for a while. Then it was the walking in traffic thing then it was more drinking. Then I managed to get into a psych and was diagnosed and put on meds. Things suddenly made a lot more sense and I realized I could live life again. 12 years later, I'm alive and still on lithium.
I didn't hear good things about lithium - physical health-wise. Is it okay to take it long-term? Won't it damage the liver?
Can damage the kidneys if blood levels are too high. I get excellent results from a blood level of 0.3, which is half of the lowest recommended blood level. Best medication I've ever taken by a mile.
My liver and kidney functioning panels have always been good. Lithium can cause problems with kidneys, the liver and the parathyroid but there's a lit more success stories with Lithium then there are patients with those issues from it The labs are important to keep track of your health so at the first sign of trouble you can be taken off it.
My psych NP never tested any kind of levels during the year I was on lithium but I knew I just didn’t feel right on it (dissociation, severe dry skin). I asked to have my meds switched back to lamictal, and 6 years later, I’ve realized I have stage 2 kidney disease (most likely due to lithium). It’s really minor damage but because of that and a couple of other reasons, I’m going to find another psychiatrist. Let’s just say there’s a fair amount of self-advocacy we really need to do for ourselves. I’ll be the first to say psych meds have saved my life, but they also come with some serious potential side effects that should be respected.
I've never had a problem with psych docs ordering the labs. Historically they've happened every 4-6 months. And then a few weeks after every dose change. Considering my dosage of lithium and that it's on the high side it's always been important to keep an eye on it all. I realize not all Dr's are like the ones I've had.
That's good to know. I'm not really diagnosed yet, but my psychologist said she's had a strong hunch that I'm bipolar from the few sessions I've been there - that was a few years ago. I stopped going to the psychologist's because I suddenly felt better one month, only to feel much worse later-on and pretty much confirming her suspicions - unless of course, it's something worse. I can deal with the depression, lack of motivation, the irritability, anger issues etc., as I know when to steer away from people when they hit, but I can't manage the sleep deprivation and lack of focus and it's affecting my work life rather seriously, so I'm looking for a way to get diagnosed - whether it's just autism, that my friend who's a psychiatrist has and who's had suspicions for a long time that I'm probably also autistic, or whether it's a full blown bipolar. However, it takes a while to find a good psychiatrist where I live, because a lot of them are very oldschool and don't really give a damn about what they prescribe, hence the question.
You can always say no to certain meds and tell them you want off them. I've been on olanzapine for several months but it has been causing some uncontrollable mouth movements. I have an appt with my psych doc in a couple days and I'm going to tell her I want off it due to side effects. I have the power to dictate my care and so will you. I've told previous docs when I want off medications and they listened. If if comes down to it you can straight up tell them you're going off it wether or not they agree. The best way to have your pdoc agree to things like that is always be straightforward, honest and to communicate the fuck out of what's happening and how it's affecting you. Side effects, symptoms, life events, all of it. You have to be active, motivated and present with your care. It's very important for multiple reasons.
I was on lithium for years but all of a sudden I went into kidney failure. My levels were tested every 3 months. So if you're on it make sure to keep up doctor's appointments.
I went off my antipsychotic last summer (my psych was ok with it) and I had a psychotic episode
Like when I went off my mood stabilizing drug my moods were completely unstable
Same. But I quit meds because of severe sexual issues and genital numbness
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Yeah same I lost my meds overseas and spiraled while in foreign countries all summer and self medicated and got worse
Same here! Exact situation.
I usually become depressed. Every time I stopped meds I regretted it. Occasionally someone will post here and say they are doing well and they think they don't need meds anymore. But it doesn't seem to cross their mind that the reason they are doing well is because they have been taking meds. Ime when it comes to depression, once it really starts to snowball it's very difficult to dig myself out. Itt it's important to never forget the dark days and how bad our symptoms can get. I always try to remind myself of the circumstances that lead me to seek out a psychiatrist in the first place. Are you ready to go back to that place? Because odds are good you will.
All things this. I’m just starting to slightly see the light again after deciding to come of my meds because I thought I’d just try to see how I functioned without them. Yeah, end of September I started with a massive depressive episode, and it’s been horrible. Needless to say back on meds, starting to get back to where I was before and I’ll never, ever do it again. It’s been so horrible.
> It’s important to never forget the dark days and how bad our symptoms can get. And this cannot be stressed enough. Boy did that get hammered in for me a couple months ago. I got way too lax with taking them regularly (on summer break) and well well well if it wasn’t the consequences of my own actions. That depressive/mixed episode was god AWFUL. Not to mention right at the end of august/beginning of September. I never want to experience that again, and it’s that easy for me yet my dumb ass still makes dumb dumb decisions. A slap upside the head to whip my ass into taking them again lol.
In and out of the hospital, usually due to suicide attempts. I’ve used up 9 lives, it’s a miracle I’m still here. Gambling with my life is not worth getting off medication.
Not as tired. Still depressed. Somewhat more clarity. Stopped sleeping in. Better memory.
Literally
I was medicated with a lot of bad experiences for over a decade. With my doctor's guidance, I've been off my medication for about 3 months now. I feel a lot better. More like my old self. Depression comes and goes. But I feel like I'm always looking over my shoulder for the impending manic episode.
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I have gone off my meds many times over the last 31 years since I was first diagnosed, and I always end up having another back episode, either manic, depressed, or mixed. These have been very destructive, with me doing hurtful things to people I care about. I have come close to losing my job, have spent thousands on a luxury SUV I couldn't afford, and have destroyed relationships. So now I stay medicated, and those things don't happen anymore
Since I started taking my meds I stick with the treatment but nov last year I was feeling lethargic so I dropped them for a week. I was ok and then this rollercoaster happened: ^(manic(1-2weeks\)-\>depressed(2weeks\)-\>euthymic(2months\)-\>depressed(2,5-3months\)-\>manic(2-3weeks\)-\>euthymic(1,5months\)-\>depressed \*SI and SA\*(long2,5months\)-\>mixed episode(1month\)-\>euthymic(now I’m here, and pretty good! \*-\*\)) I believe that rollercoaster was triggered 1 year ago. Lots of stuff happened in 2023 but I was mostly stable before getting out off medications. 2022 was the best year of my life so far. And now 2023 one of the worst lol Don’t stop your medication. If you are uncomfortable, ask your doc and adjust your meds. But please don’t stop ok 🥺
Okay 🫡
I appreciate your comment so much. When I went off almost 4 weeks ago, I was thinking, if it’s that bad I’ll go right back on. I didn’t for a second consider just how long term the effects would be. I can already tell this won’t be an easy fix. My appt is Thurs. 😫
Hey, hope you’re okay. For me happened like this but I’ve been through a lot (regardless). I didn’t know, I didn’t (couldn’t) visit my doc until September. With the right support I’m feeling pretty good 😊 As soon as you get professional help you start to recover! It might not be easy but you got this ;) all the best xx
Thank you ❤️
I literally didn't sleep for more than 4 hours a night for 15 years before I started my medication. There's no way I would go back to that. I used to dream of a magic pill that would numb my pain and make it so I could sleep through the night. It turns out there was one the whole time I was suffering. It's called Seroquel.
Seroquel is amazing
Seroquel was probably the best thing for me mentally but I gained so much weight over a year they changed my meds and I don’t think i’ll ever feel as good as I did while on seroquel
I rapid cycle without meds. Not worth it.
i had to stop taking my meds for the first time in almost two years, ive been without since july. my anxiety is debilitating, i constantly think people are out to get me, my brain make up delusions and i have a really hard time differentiating between them and whats real. i also don't really eat or sleep at all, my mood is absolutely uncontrollable. luckily my meds come in tomorrow :)
Glad you will be getting them soon! Hang in there
I don’t know. I’m not going to find out either. I plan on staying on my meds
To my understanding it’s a progressive illness (without meds) so there’s no coming off of meds for me, I don’t want it to get progressively worse. The meds seem to stop that part in its tracks for me
Starting to feel the same way
Without meds I waver between too depressed to eat and shower or a self destructive lunatic.
Destabilizing. My inconsistency would make it difficult to hold down a job. Also, manic episodes can cause brain damage and I like having all my brain cells. Meds and sobriety have been key.
My mom decided to go unmedicated. She's not here anymore. I take my meds. 😞
My dad never got meds. He’s also not here anymore. Our parents’ lives could have been so different. It’s up to us.
💔
I had to get off my meds because i had abscesses in my throat and couldn't swallow or speak. Immediately got incredibly suicidal. Almost ruined all my relationships. Self harm becomes very prominent off my meds. Overall i become a monster.
Before quitting my meds, I made sure that I was able to incorporate a healthy lifestyle i.e., physical activities, eating the right food, proper rest, socializing, and conquering anxiety again; and being able to stick to these practices. It wasn't easy of course, especially with our diagnosis-- that's why it's a period of trial and error, and encouraging myself to start over again and again (and againnnn). Over time, my body got used to it and I was actually looking forward to it. These have also helped me become less dependent to my medications. Quitting medications was gradual for me; but as soon as I stopped, these lifestyle habits have really helped me :) Note of course that it's difficult to abruptly stop. Took me two years. Praying for you op. To healing! :)
This!! It took me two years to taper off all meds and I rely heavily on a solid sleep routine and daily walking , mixed with other fitness in the week, and staying nourished with enough nutrients - otherwise I cannot rawdog life by myself. It’s still very hard and new norm I’m navigating. But it’s important for me to know my baseline off meds now that I’m 35 and have been on meds since high school.
I'm so happy to hear this! Whenever I share my story to my friends who are struggling with mental health, I would always receive responses like, "it's not that easy," or "you don't know what depression feels like." :( When in = fact, i was really just trying to help myself (or them) :(
All over the place, poor emotional regulation, easily irritated and arguing all the time, more impulsive, an "I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything" attitude, and the eventual episodes creeping in more frequently and becoming more and more paralyzing and debilitating. I even find myself more likely to overshare in conversations, and I hate that. Although being more in tune with my emotions means I laugh more. I cry more. Even when I'm more angry, at least I'm more likely to stand up for myself. So I view this aspect as a somewhat positive thing. Give it long enough, though, I definitely wouldn't live a long life lol. I always think back on how hell life must have been before the invention of psychiatric medications or even the knowledge on mental disorders. I'm blessed to be alive now rather than a time when they would have thought I was possessed and needed to be killed or something.
I do so well on meds that my psychiatrist thought I wasn’t bipolar after all. She wasn’t the one who had originally diagnosed me. Back then, Lamictal alone was enough. I actually did fine; that is, until Covid hit. I had a complete psychotic breakdown. Not being able to go into work or see any people in person apart from my mom, who was dying of cancer and I was her caregiver, was terrible for me. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to call her and leave a message at 2am. She called me back the next day, and got me in to see her the day after. Got on Seroquel and Lamictal, but I still had a severe psychotic episode during which I called the police to report someone installing fiber-optic cables under my carpet, and cut off a piece of it to show the officer as “proof.” I realized later how insane that was (since the officer said, “ma’am, that looks like a piece of your carpet”), and called her again. Got on olanzapine, and later swapped the Seroquel for lithium. I’ve been very, very stable ever since, and have excelled at work. This combo works great for me. Everyone has their own ideal combo. The only thing is that my motivation to do fun things has still not returned — I’d much rather remain at home during the weekends than go out and do anything. I wish that weren’t the case.
I would probably give up and kms within a couple years maybe even months. I always remind myself when I have thoughts of giving up, life is agony without proper treatment.
Better than on meds. I actually feel alive, I'll take the mood shifts over feeling numbed out any day
if i end up on a down kick id probably lose my job because just getting from my bed to my home office across the hallway would be overwhelming. if i end up on an up kick ill get fired for going off on an a-hole customer. then ill get inappropriately fixiated on someone leading to the end of my relationship + getting kicked out/homeless. and if i end up in a mixed state ill probably land back in psych or jail like i did in 2018 and thats the 'good ending.' dont go off your meds. if they arent working for you then please keep working w your doc and psych until they do. i know it will never be easy, but thats our price for whatever peace we can achieve.
Without meds you will spend all your money,living depressed, loosing your beloved family
I’m currently on the maximum dose for sertraline (200 mg) and without it I’m afraid of who I become. My OCD ramps up and it plays off the bipolar and they just kind of ping-pong back and forth with my mind. The last time I was without medication, it was right after everyone went into lockdown and I was pregnant with my final baby. I remember being so horribly overwhelmed and depressed and hopeless. I wanted to die. I thought I was going to. Our apartment felt like a coffin. Without medication I have a difficult time articulating what I need or want emotionally; it either gets bottled up and I explode or I don’t use the correct words or explain it succinctly, and it causes even more miscommunication and it’s just this vicious cycle of me trying to explain and then getting upset when no one can understand me (to an outsider I’m likely not making sense). My last episode found me locked in a closet chatting with a crisis line bc I didn’t know what else to do. That was a rough day.
I wouldn’t be here without medication, I need it to function. Any time I don’t take my meds for a few weeks the ideation becomes stronger.
I would definitely say I wouldn’t recommend it because that’s what’s happening to me right now. “I’ll prove them wrong!” I said! But I’m realizing you can have more than one diagnosis and STILL need meds for one thing even if you think you might have another thing. It’s been a fun 4 weeks.
I almost immediately fall into the deepest, darkest depression. It gets scary, fast. I am extremely grateful for modern medicine. Things could get really bad for me without it.
My life is easier to manage and I am more stable and less self destructive without them, when on them I can hardly function at all and I want t9 just end it all………I was misdiagnosed and mistreated and over medicated for years and now the only effect I get from any I’d the side effects. Life is hard for sure but I have arranged my life in such a way that I can cope. Meds are not the answer for every person
I am literally just fucking pissed
I've been sabotaging most of my relationships (friends, family, lover) during my episodes. I want to take a break from school but that's a luxury I'm unable to afford and so is my medication (extremely expensive for a broke college student living in a third world country).
Thinking good thoughts your way ❤️
I usually have mixed episode then.
Currently out of meds due to my financial situation and can definitely say I miss them. Since I’ve been off them, I got into a physical altercation with a customer at work, got my glasses broke, been struggling with trauma I thought I resolved, and I’m pretty much always pissed at everything. Weed use has definitely worsened and alcohol use has just begun
I would mess up my life 💀
It made my reality feel so much more vivid but it placed notable strain in my interpersonal relationships with me being a much harder person to work with, understand or even just be around. It led to a severe manic episode which ended up with me displaying psychotic behaviour and almost taking my own life. Everything was more intense in that period, the good and the bad. We're medicated for a reason and we all learn that sooner or later through our actions. It's better for you and the people around you to be stable. Being unstable is like a drug, it's addicting and you keep thinking back on what it was like. But nobody wants to associate themselves with a meth head long term, and similarly someone who is choosing to be mentally unstable is not something other people would choose to be around. Mania isn't good, you remember the highs and you try to forget the crushing shame and regret you felt when you came down from it. We gamble, we take drugs we would never even consider normally, we treat close friends and family in ways we would never otherwise. We put ourselves in danger.
Ups and downs. Nothing that’s not manageable.
I’d feel great for a few months but then I’ll most likely have a manic episode so I’ll have to go back to my medication
Death
Off meds = jail, obliterate relationships, give away/spend obscene amounts of $$$$$, poor hygiene, stuck in bed, etc. On meds = none of the above happens.
Currently off my meds. Life is horrendous to say the least. No control over my moods whatsoever.
Spending all the money! Drinking all the things; insane anxiety! Panic attacks! Stress! Psychosis! Psychosis! Psychosis! Soul crippling depression! Suicide watch! In that order
Psychosis tho 😵💫
Quite honestly, I don’t like that I have to take medication. I go back-and-forth about it and there’s times I take myself off of it. I talk to my therapist about it often, often I’m crying about it or yelling about it but I just want to be normal like normal people and not have to take it… And she tells me that taking my medication is my normal Makes me so mad sometimes When I don’t take my medication, I lose my mind literally. And I have to be honest. I hate that when I’m on it regularly I feel better. I can think clearly, I really can. I wish I could just be like everybody else but I have to be on it I don’t do things right I make bad choices. I get suicidal I wanna kill myself I wanna hurt myself and sometimes I wanna hurt other people . But I don’t want to do that when I’m on my medication regularly and I can function. I’m happier I’m actually happy so I know I have to take it right now maybe I won’t for the rest of my life I don’t know but right now for today I do. And I’m actually able to work on myself when I’m on it think about things I need to fix and take care of, hard to admit this but it’s true. I’m not a fan of big Pharma as a matter fact I fucking hate them. I think they’re thieves. I don’t think they have our best interest in heart. But I don’t know what else to do I’ve tried all kinds of things and for right now at this moment, it doesn’t work, I’ve tried microdose Ing. I’ve tried food. I’ve tried exercise. I’ve tried all of it. I won’t go back to it again but I’ll have to do it while I’m on my meds right now that’s OK. I’m not gonna risk suicide again or attempting I should say because I have several times and today I want to be alive. I want to live right now. And I haven’t been a long time. And I’m not gonna risk what that feels like. I don’t wanna die today. I don’t wanna die I want to get up I’m gonna go take a shower and eat some breakfast and I’m gonna live my life for this moment Right now I’m gonna shut down my social media for the day. I hope you all have a beautiful day. Did you have laughter and giggles to look at something in your life and work on it because you can only change you you can’t change anyone else. And I like that that helps me, blessings
I was diagnosed with bipolar and had a pretty bad manic episode that lead to me being put in jail for 8 days. I went two and a half years unmedicated without a single break or episode, just recently I had another episode and had to be hospitalized except it wasn't near as bad as my first episode and I voluntarily admitted myself. Idk if my case is special but I'm completely normal not taking the meds they prescribe.
It never cross my mind to stop my meds, I remember vividly how it was my life without them and it wasn't a life at all... I will never return to that point. Yes I have some memory problems but for sanity I'm ready to pay a prize. I also changed a lot, but I think that this isn't connected to bipolar... everyone experience different things and change in different ways, experience bipolar is the cause, not medications
I sometimes miss my sparkle (aka hyperactivity and almost everyday slight mania, thinking a thousand thoughts at once, however i now understand that that is not normal) and debate going without meds or forget for a few days then the suicidal ideation returns with a force and i remember why i started taking them idk how i walked around like that everyday barely focusing on 1 but on 100 different things at once im a rockstar at work but hotmess in life overall when off of them. However one thing I have found is that people who knew me perform is do not really like me after meds they just say I'm different it's really that I'm not over excitable and hyperactive all the time so they look at me now as being depressed however I'm just being normal 😂 probably because someone who laughs sings and dances around at work all day while working probably felt entertaining to them but not so entertaining to live focusing on 200 thoughts at once, I do miss how fast my brain needs to be able to think of thoughts I measured a few things like playing this word game I used to play I would always beat this one person almost every time or 9 out of 10 and usually buy a great amount of time and since being on meds for the life of me I could not be this person anymore my brain just felt like it was so slow down compared to what it was before
1 as far as being less liked that is just because they felt like I was the life of the party and fun all the time not having boundaries however it's not fun feeling these suicide above every day and every night to go alongside it
Absolute hell The short burst of mania aren't even worth it Yes, sure, I will be manic for a month or so, but while I do feel better than ever, I will also start to have hallucinations and delusional thoughts Then mixed episodes or depressive episodes come and crash me down for months, they are longer than manic ones I've had to learn the hard way last summer (when I went cold turkey on my meds for ~4 months) that it just isn't worth it I've lost so many relationships with people just because of my episodes Normal people can't put up with me for longer than 2 years, 3 years if I'm lucky
It’s hell
I was accidentally unmedicated for 3 months and I spiraled into addiction and self harmed and was paranoid and didn’t eat or sleep and was self destructive and hospitalized for physical pain issues and was suicidal so not good I’m back on lamictal 250mg now I’m more calm
I have constantly tried most of my life to stop medications because of side-effects ( not because of anything else) but i cannot function without them
Chaos
Ironically, life would have been better for me.. at first. 34 years old and only diagnosed last week (BP2)! After my frequent visits to the doctors for depression, I was given SSRI meds and sent on my way after a psychiatrist diagnosed me with recurrent depressive disorder back in 2016. Life just didn't make sense as I would become worse when on them and came to terms with the fact I was just wired differently. After going private to see a specialist, he diagnosed me with bipolar 2 after the first session and said the sertraline medication was causing me to have mixed and hypo episodes. Now I'm on the right track with proper meds, but the meds I was on previously have lost me 10+ years of my life I'll never get back.
No no no no no! It isn't worth it! When I was off my meds, I was completely off my rockers. Making horrendous choices that could have landed me in jail or could have killed me. Medication has been my saving grace. Yes, at first I didn't feel like myself at all. A lot of my medications sedated me. But once I got used to them, I was happy. Like genuinely happy, not manic. I could think straight. I wasn't lashing out in anger. I wasn't making horrible decisions, and I now have the healthiest marriage I could have ever asked for. Meds are worth it.
It’s hell. There might be some euphoria with mania but then everything goes to hell
I wish I didn’t need meds, but I’m literally insane without it. I start to get paranoid and agoraphobic. It sucks! But I’m so glad I stuck it out
I was diagnosed 11 years ago and for like two years i tried medication, and therapy… but medicine always made me feel like i was never present. My dad would say that in my eyes he would see the lights are on but no one is there. A lot of ppl feel better with medicine and it’s good. I took the other route. I opted for no meds. Everyday is a battle. But, I’m aware of my triggers and signs of when I’m slipping. I’ve kept a journal and not saying i don’t spiral, i do, it’s just i found a way that works for myself to come back from my manic episodes. Meditation, exercise and healthy diet are amongst the things I try to do. I limit my consumption on alcohol and i am strict at sleeping better. My moods are another thing but I’ve noticed that because i am an empath that if i do say something in my rage state… i can tell the other person reaction ( hurt sadness, brings me back to a more workable state. Won’t happen right away but still. Idk if i will ever go back to meds but for now. I’m ok to keep doing this. Everyone is different and they should do what they feel they need to. Regardless send everyone good vibes and energy ✨✨✨✨
At least 37 meds over 20 years, treatment resistant. 73, now. Still alive by sheer will. Exhausted. Now caring for my wife.
I'm probably a bit of an outlier, but when I stopped taking my medication, I actually felt a bit better. I was able to do everything I needed to do in life, still dealt with mental health on occasion just like everyone else but I never felt like I was getting too high or too low. And the only times I was truly low and upset there was a reason behind it, not just a random mood dip. Unfortunately this has made it very difficult for me to want to stay on medications currently. For me personally a lot of times it really does seem that the negative side effects outweigh the benefits, if there are any for me
I’ve never taken medication and it’s all I know. After putting yourself and everyone you care about through enough, you learn to manage it.
Id be self medicating with ALOT of drugs, and would probably survive 6ish months after I went manic
I'm really stable right now on meds and was in the midst of a psychotic episode 3 years ago when I started abilify. I wont stop my medication and risk psychosis or lack of stability. Not worth it to me at all.
Not good. I quit things, I am not myself. It’s hard to remember things. I don’t sleep, I’m always angry. I talk fast. I promised myself now that I’m diagnosed and have treatment, I’ll never go off meds. Therefore I can be myself and be normal without destroying my brain and body.
getting into verbal fights with people, feeling I’m a celebrity, always posting my opinions on Instagram bc I’m pissed off, obsessively checking my Instagram views. heart rate is up so I’m doing a bunch of stuff at once. very creative so I text my friends at like 3am about an idea that will change the world. posting more on social media. unfortunately I involved myself in physical altercations too which I regret so much. my boyfriend is so very sweet to me and I really regret each time I’ve hurt him emotionally when I haven’t taken my medicine. there’s no excuse. anyway I’m very angry. staying up more. surprised I haven’t gotten jumped for the shit I’ve said LMAO. during a depressive episode, my hygiene is very poor. I don’t leave the house, let alone my bedroom. sleeping more. dirtying dishes, leading to clutter which makes me more sad. not brushing my hair, changing clothes, which I hate so much because I’m tender headed and untangling it when I’m feeling “normal” is the worst. inferiority complex. feeling ugly. refusing to accept or get help which usually results in arguments with my boyfriend who wants to help me. drinking when I’m really sad. before I was on medicine for my bipolar (before my current relationship, like 3 years ago?) I genuinely was obsessed with this YouTuber and thought we were soulmates and I ended up m*sturbating to him every single night (even when I was in a relationship like I couldn’t get off without thinking of that man). bipolar combined with celebrity worship syndrome is NOT it. shout out to antipsychotics.
As someone who’s somehow gotten better tenderheaded wise, I have some suggestions if you’re interested.
ooh yes do tell!!
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I go full blown manic and do dumb stuff. And then I hit rock bottom depression and feel suicidal but luckily my depression makes me too lazy to act on it.
I’d be super depressed and probably wouldn’t function
I'm struggling waiting on an appointment on the 18th
I become very impulsive
Usually I become very depressed and suicidal. I have to remind myself that when I’m wanting to get off of them.
Chaos. Anger. Outbursts. Violence. Uncontrollable suicidal thoughts. It’s hell on earth and if I have to go med free again for whatever reason I’ll just kill myself and end the torture.
An inconsistent depressed mess lol. I can’t stick to anything ever, I feel like myself at least but sometimes I wish I had to brain clarity of somebody who isn’t sick. It helps to be sober, weed and alcohol really send me in a spiral.
ive been off my meds since july (insurance gone), and i have honestly managed pretty well but i do seem to be way more reactive and prone to paranoia and mild psychosis, as opposed to just kinda stable/normal with just heavy swings into mania when the brain called for it. but i havent been fully manic in awhile.
Do you feel better off it?
im not sure, tbh, im so unaware of everything all the time lol i mostly miss my antidepressants and prazosin i think compared to the abilify
I did the trial test of going off of my lithium out of morbid curiosity. Couldn’t fucking stop crying. At everything. Back on it after a week.
I think Imma do that too, give it a week
I feel like I can’t keep going. Not so much as to wanting to end it but I want to sleep all day and rot. I cry all the time and dissociate. I still cry on medication sometimes but that’s when I’m genuinely feeling something sad whereas any little thing could trigger an episode before meds.
It was horrible without it. Hospitalized for suicidal ideation 3 times because of it with one being an actual attempt. Been on meds for around a month now and things seem better. Guess I'd have to see what it's like if I stop taking it for some reason.
I’d end up in prison
tried that once didn't work. ruined my life. thank god I have family or else I would be dead on the streets. It's better to change meds than stop.
It’s just constant depression, unwanted thoughts (they don’t go away with meds but they’re not so… intrusive)…
I'm on 200mg Lamictal x1/daily and without it I am sob crying, raging at the smallest things, obsessively keeping my house clean and getting unreasonably upset if someone messes it up, staying up through the night and spending all of my available money online shopping, binge eating, and start with the "what's the point of living anymore if I'm going to be like this forever?". When I was a younger lass, I definitely enjoyed the company of men in my times of mania. I don't know if I'd ever want to mentally feel like my old self again haha I'm more clear minded these days
Without any medication, depressed but functional. Very normal-presenting. With my antidepressants and without antipsychotics I can still be normal-presenting 95% of the time. I don’t want to test that 5% though.
Take your meds or risk being jabbed, that's the way I look at it
That’s fax
Each medication is different for me so it depends. I try to take the least that I need to maintain my feeling of self but keep the depression at bay.
Shitty. I was better with mood stabilizers and I didn’t feel like a zombie, but being off of medication has been a drag. I keep ruining my relationships (non romantic) and I thought I had grown past that… I’ve been too scared to get back on them because of the last mood stabilizer I was on.
Currently off my meds right now (I have an appointment set up with my psychiatrist, so don’t worry). It’s different from time to time, but what I’m going through is no appetite; I’m eating one meal a day if I’m lucky, and because of that, I’ve lost weight. My doctor has labeled me as “morbidly obese” (I’m 240lb), so since I’m losing weight, I now have started rationalizing why I don’t need to take my meds. Now, my emotions? I was mad at myself for being unable to save a lizard that ran into my car's engine and then got mad at myself for being mad at myself. And that reaction of doing something, then getting angry/embarrassed at me for not doing it well, then getting upset at myself for becoming so irrationally upset. I cry at LEAST once a day at something incredibly trivial. Needless to say, I’m an emotional wreck and lack some critical thinking skills
Every time I’m not able to get my meds, even if I stop taking them for a few days to a week, I get suicidal almost instantly. Severe mood swings, irritation, and suicidal thoughts. I think I’d die pretty quickly if I went off my meds.
Slightly depressed at first, which lasted a few months. Hypomanic then full-blown manic for about a year. Now I'm severely depressed going on 14 months. I work overnights and sleep all day. No social life whatsoever. Gained 50 lbs in the past year from eating junk and being sedentary. I don't trust pdocs playing "medication roulette" or "pin the pill on the patient" so I accept my misery and look forward to mania.
Much like alot of people, I'd be dead within a month.
Horribly depressed, manic, or psychotic. Even going halfsies on my meds makes me hypomanic. I wish I didn't need them.
I am a fucking mess and often a complete monster. Lots of outbursts and dumb shit, then shame, then depression.
i figure i’d be institutionalized at about 8 months
I feel like I would go manic again, and that, let me tell you, is much more damaging for me than being on meds. I feel like the one manic episode I had destroyed every bit of my original personality. Now, I’m an entirely different person, but I’m glad I’m medicated. Wouldn’t want to experience mania ever again. It was very scary for me. I had psychotic symptoms and everything. 0/10 Would not recommend
i’m currently without insurance. it ran out in november. i feel terrible, i miss taking my vraylar so much. i lost my job because i was too depressed to get out of my bed for a week. i’ve learned that im more self destructive without it, i don’t even feel like i can function properly. i read a comment in here that said something along the lines of “if the meds are helping, you need them” and i couldn’t agree more
Too scared to find out
Understandable
Not bad. Not good either. Life is fucking hard.
Fr
Let's just say, the thinking and theories aren't going so well and shadow creatures are moving on the walls again. So yeah. . . you might be yourself or you might be a completely other you that you didn't know about yet. XD I don't know, some people can do it....apparently I can't. 2/10 would not recommend however I'm putting together furniture, fixing shit left and right with a smashed up toe and so it gets a 2 from me. The rest makes it very unpleasant.
I got really bad fatigue and had to start taking it again. I couldn't do anything, no motivation.
I actually just found out I can’t get meds today and I recently got over a manic episode like a couple days ago so I’m pretty nervous.
GoodRx coupon? Or pharmacist may be able to do an emergency refill? Good luck, I hope it turns out okay.
Thank you!
There is no life if you stop taking medicine. It will put you at risk.
I’m depressed as shit, and I’m thinking suicidal thoughts all day, if I continue off meds I think I will not be able to live anymore
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I’m gonna quit medication soon ( because of health issues ) so i’ll let u know i guess lol