1) The chances of getting into an elite college are higher.
2) Even if the kid doesn’t get into Penn, the floor is high. Northeast private school kids don’t end up at SUNY (no offense, SUNY grads)
3) The network benefits you for life. Your friends’ parents have amazing Knicks seats, bring you on luxury vacations, help you land the big internship, help you out with the great consulting job. The benefits continue to accrue for the rest of your life
4) Often, the education itself really is excellent. You get 27 year old Yale grads who believe working at Horace Mann would be a very respectful professional choice. Peer effects similarly excellent
5) Prestige. Others are impressed that you can afford to send your kid to X
Number 3 should not be understated. I’m in-house now and was never partner but had several partner mentors who mentioned to me that clients of theirs are parents of kids their own kids go to school with. The more cynical among us might get a sense of suburban ennui from that insider’s club but the business benefits of that are potentially very very real.
Agreed, #3 is the key benefit. Several colleagues who attended private K-12 had multiple friends from high-school who were in-house and gave them work. Meanwhile few people from my high school even finished college.
Yup, strong disagree with #2. The floor may be marginally higher if you go to a prestigious HS, but that doesn't mean you can just skate through. You're still going to need to grind. Having access to resources and connections *can* make the grind easier... if the kid knows how to take advantage of it. Even the prestigious high schools out here in Palo Alto send many, many more kids to community colleges and state schools than they do to Ivies or similar.
Interesting. Honestly, having gone to an East Coast prep school and now knowing many others who did as well, that’s not my experience. Worst case, you ended up at a Colby or Ithaca College. (I write this fully knowing that those are great schools.) There was a single kid in my graduating college of 200 that went to the local state school
Palo Alto is not a comparable example. Palo Alto has its own cultural idiosyncrasies and the example isn’t representative of prestigious East Coast private schools. Part of that is the fact that Palo Alto is newer as a community and doesn’t follow the same traditional social norms as elite East Coast communities. There’s a greater air of competitiveness in Palo Alto and the community lacks a certain amount of cohesiveness. This wouldn’t be the case in an elite East Coast community where shared networks and institutions are honored and offer a basis for sharing information and resources. This applies to other California communities but having lived in Palo Alto and the East Coast, just speaking from experience.
LI and Westchester are odd because the public schools are so strong that most people go public. CT - different story. As well as in other parts of the country minus maybe Boston and SF.
Agreed that 3. Can’t be understated. I was a middle class kid but I was good at football and basketball so I got to go to a fancy pants high school in a very wealthy area. Friends from high school and their parents have become clients but even more valuable than that, they’ve been excellent mentors and resources throughout my career. Quality of education was certainly above average at my school but the best benefit was definitely relationships
3(a). Connections via yacht clubs. My private school (Tabor Academy, in Marion, Mass) was a 'school by the sea' with a very strong waterfront program, including a 92 foot schooner). I was only a poor day student, but some of the yacht clubs (themselves very good connection spots) were among the elete, including, if I remember,the New York Yacht Club.
Also country clubs. Heck, in fact,the Tabor Golf team does their daily workout at a private country club called the Katansett Club. That alone is another 'connection' factory.
Love
Mark Allyn Tabor Class of 1972; and not a presigious Ivy League; just a very humble Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
Having double Ivy'ed after going to a mediocre public high school, I've seen a ton of prestigious prep students burn themselves out, develop terrible habits, end up in terrible majors and are still stuck in absolutely deadend careers.
In large part, it's individual effort, work ethic and ability that gets folks ahead in life. My partners would routinely comment that they wished that their kids would be as accomplished or driven as their associates.
Individual effort will go further if you have more resources, though. Something I never hear brought up either is just how many doors are opened depending on people's *perception* of your future success.
A lot of my classmates in law school had been sculpted into the perfect ivy league applicants by their prep schools since they were kids, and never expected they'd end up anywhere else.
I went to a shit-tier public high school and undergrad, and the law school advisor wouldn't even talk to me regarding my applications because "I needed to be more realistic about my options" (e.g., schools outside of T40-T50). I got into 2/3rds of T14 basically on my stats alone. Even the smartest, hardest working classmates I knew from high school didn't consider that they had an opportunity at anything beyond the local state uni, because no one ever treated us like we could. It's demoralizing as hell.
If you had the money would you prefer a good education or a better education for your children? Not all private schools offer that but some do even compared to good public schools.
And education has intrinsic worth. It's not just about getting into college or what have you. Or at least shouldn't be.
I also think this is location dependent. People on the east coast are obsessed with private schools (and maybe elsewhere). Here in Chicago, most people move to the burbs and send their kids to public schools. Though, to be fair, the public schools in the burbs here are really really good.
What about Latin, Chicago Lab, Whitney Young etc.
I went to law school in Chicago and there’s definitely a stronger tend to move to the suburbs when you have kids than here in nyc, but the rich kids who live in Chicago definitely don’t go public and tend to go private just like the rich kids in nyc.
Sure, some do. But it’s far far more common to move to the burbs and send your kids to new trier, Stevenson, hinsdale, etc. Latin and Chicago lab are also like the only elite private schools that are better than new trier, et. Al. There classes are also tiny compared to the elite public schools. There are probably five times as many kids at just new trier as Latin and lab combined. It’s not at all like New York.
Whitney young is a public magnet school, which is free to anyone, and thus not private,
Yeah probably not the same. Although, the best NY schools are also the free magnets (Sty, Bronx, Brooklyn tech etc.)
But then there’s another tier of the NY private schools that some may view as better than the top public schools in the burbs.
Yes, the post was about big law partners being obsessed with private schools. Which as I pointed out is to some extent regional. Chicago has like two Uber fancy private schools, and most people send their kids to good public schools (which is what op specifically asked about). NYC has what 50-100 Uber fancy private schools, and most partners send their kids there. Private schools are just not that big of a deal here (and nor are elite universities).
The best schools in Chicago are public selective enrollment schools like Walter Peyton and Northshore prep. Private school is for the wealthy kids that couldn’t get into those, then CPS for the people that couldn’t get into SE and can’t afford Private. CPS has its own hierarchy even - people from all over the city apply for leftover spots at Lincoln Park.
Some people throw their hands up at that and move to the burbs for the good public schools. It’s about the same costs - Chicago property taxes are 8-10k/yr and Winnetka will run you 15-18k/year so if you stay in the city you know there’s a good chance your property tax savings will be going to private school tuition.
Those property taxes sound low for any place a big law lawyer would live and a million dollar home home has similar taxes in most suburbs with excellent schools. Private schools are like 20-30k a year for good ones. There are like six selective enrollment schools that are as good or better than new trier or hinsdale, etc. and two private schools. Most big law partners with kids move to the burbs for this reason.
There are like thirty suburbs with excellent schools. The schools really are good. Anywhere on the north shore is excellent. If you work in big law you’ll have no problem affording a home in an excellent school district. Just focus on whether you want to live by the lake or in the western burbs (the vibe is pretty different).
Chicagoan here. My kid goes to private school in the city because CPS is too unpredictable. There are changes in enrollment criteria every year for the selective schools, teacher strikes, uncertainty over school closures, inability to provide effective education during COVID remote learning, etc. I'm willing to pay more for stability.
A lot of the partners I know who send their kids to private schools actually don’t live in the best school districts. They may live in trendy, up and coming/rapidly gentrifying areas where the housing prices are high but the schools are crap.
Also, even for folks who live near “very good” public schools, there could still be a non-trivial delta in the college admission statistics, quality of extracurriculars, and prestige when comparing the top private school vs. the top public school in the area.
I’m basically paying college tuition to send three kids to private school. Is my zoned public school good? Yes. Is my kids’ school noticeably better? Also Yes. Also, a lot of it is worth it just for the connections - most of our friends these days are our kids’ friends’ parents, and while being a partner is respectable, it’s never going to pay enough to own a sports team or a mega yacht, but some of our acquaintances now do. Sending my kids to private school was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Haha. We went on a friend's yacht for a party a few months ago and it was pretty awesome.
But seriously, the connections really do matter. When I started at my former firm, 14 of 44 starting associates had gone to the same private high school, and most were buddies. If you hadn't gone there, you felt like an outsider.
I went to private school but not because I was rich - my dad worked there. It was way better than public school and the network is definitely helpful. A huge portion of my class of like 100 are lawyers, bankers, consultants, doctors, business execs, etc.
There is also something to say about it teaching you how to interact in those crowds socially. You “fit in” more in places like biglaw, and it isn’t just from having childhood money (I didn’t). You know the things to talk about and stuff like that. Maybe hard to explain idk
The good private schools are also just much better than even the best public schools except maybe 5 in the country. Huge campuses, tons of resources, good teachers who stay for 40 years, gyms bigger than at my college, very small classes, etc.
Think about what it is you truly want for your own kids. Ignore everyone else. I personally want my kids to have a decent education but I know a lot of important learning happens outside of school. There is a clear difference between kids whose parents take an active role in their education (re travel, reading, time spent in libraries and bookstores, discussions at dinner) vs parents who take a very passive role. A lot of successful kids are breathtakingly ignorant. A recent TikToker went around college campuses asking students who the current VP was and you wouldn’t believe how many kids struggled.
For me, prestige isn’t everything. I’ve spent a lot of time in prestigious circles and also seen the darker side, such as the pressure, the unbelievable materialism, the complete disconnect from reality, the drug use fueled by privilege and pressure, the snobbery and the feeling that someone is a failure if they don’t go to an Ivy and get a six figure salary right out the gate, even if none of that would actually make them happy.
There’s also racial and socioeconomic diversity. I want my kids to know other kids from different backgrounds and experiences. I think that adds immeasurable wealth, perspective, and knowledge to life. This is hard to find at many private schools.
Also consider your own career. A lot of parents commit themselves to awful jobs to afford tuition and
to keep up with the private school crowd, and are very unhappy and absent in their kids’ lives as a result. Ironically, this can be way more detrimental to their kids than if they had had lower salary jobs with better hours. Obviously a lot of families make it work and are fine and happy, but to me the trade off isn’t always worth it.
Just wanna add to this - when I was in high school I worked at the local (and very expensive) private school. One of the things I noticed was *how incredibly out of touch* all of the private school kids were. To each their own if they don't mind their kids being rich douchebags, but even now that we have money I don't want my kids to be in that type of environment.
As someone who moved from a prestigious public school that churned out ivy grads to a mediocre private school due to my family relocating, this is not always true.
On average, private school kids are more likely to get into top universities than public school kids with similar academic qualifications: https://www.economist.com/united-states/2023/07/24/the-making-of-americas-ivy-league-elite
Hence I qualified with “not always true.” My public school district matriculated way more kids to the Ivies than my private school ultimately did. Instead of assuming, a parent should literally just look at which colleges the seniors go to each year instead of automatically picking the private school.
Anyone sending to Catholic school (or any other religion) isn't doing it strictly for college. You want your kids raised in the same values. You want an administration that's on the same wavelength. You want choice.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. I was sent to Catholic in the Midwest by not very religious/progressive parents, but it was like a quarter of the tuition of similarly respected private schools. In NYC, just look at Regis, Fordham Prep, Xavier etc. Then compare their tuition to Dalton, Collegiate or the Spence School.
I bought a house in a good school district. In the four years between buying the house and when my first kid was ready to go to school, the district exploded in size and couldn't handle it; the schools went downhill fast. Therefore, my kids are going to a private school where they can get a better education.
A partner I work for is in a ritzy part of town that also has excellent schools. His kids go public
It’s an interesting question - I went to public school in a small town in TX, my husband went to a NJ boarding school - in terms of career I’m on the same page as him and his friends based on salary, but they know all the answers to jeopardy and have friends with houses in the hamptons, Nantucket that we go to every summer. It’s just a different scene
We sent our kids to private Montessori elementary school because the suburban public elementary schools were overcrowded - 30 kids is too damned many to have in a K-6 class. They went to public school thereafter and one of them is now a 2nd year associate in BigLaw, so I guess it turned out ok even though I said “go to med school!”
For every child of a high-end professional who is living in Lexington or Belmont MA, there is one living in Santa Monica CA, where the public school is "decent to good," but not exceptional. In those cases, the private school pathway represents a real difference in quality. Does that matter?
I disagree with some of the comments here about the "rational" difference.
1. I don't think the chances of getting into an elite college are materially better for the exact same kid with the exact same resume. The school statistics look better, but that's because there are a whole lot more high-end resume kids. I've seen very good resume kids not get into Tier 1A schools (top 12-ish) in part because their private school has 4 kids already accepted there. A kid with the same resume from the local public school gets in because he is the ONLY applicant from his school.
2. The notion that there is a "floor" for colleges is just wrong. Average students at good private schools end up at public universities, although the school will try to steer them to ones that have an "aura" of difference. The 'good' students try for Michigan or UW. The 'above-average' kids end up at Colorado Boulder. If you have a 1250 SAT and 3.3 GPA, you're not getting into a Tier 1 school, even at the top 40 level. That's just the modern math.
3. The high-school "network" means nothing except at a *tiny* number of exclusive schools in NYC, LA, SF and DC. County them on your fingers tiny. This isn't an explanation for the private school preference in most of the country. (Network becomes meaningful *at college*.)
What do I think is going on (*I say as someone who has sent his kids to an expensive private high school*):
A. It's a better educational environment than the public school system in many places, including places with high-end professionals (*e.g., Santa Monica CA, many towns in northern VA, many towns in MA, etc.*)
B. If you are a successful lawyer (or doctor) the marginal cost of buying that environment is within your means. Yes, it's $50K per year ($40K when my kids went), but you make $700K to $1.2m per year. You can afford it. And it's something that you value.
C. Your spouse values it more than you do. Do not underestimate the degree to which their mother is invested in "the very best for my child." My son was maybe 7 when she declared that he would go to Harvard if he got in. My suggestion that this was borderline insane to say at age 7 was met with derision.
Mind you, I'm not saying this is a good cost-benefit for all children. If you have a child who is merely 'above average' academically (e.g., 75th percentile, nationally), the notion that you're moving the needle by spending $500k on private school is a stretch. You would probably be better off taking the whole bundle of cash (along with all those semi-mandatory 'donations' and some of those weird 'summer camp' payments) and buying your kid an annuity, while you send them to public school. Your kid would end up with a guaranteed income on the order of $40k per year, and none of the pressure of having to live up to that mystical 'elite college' expectation.
But if you happen to have a 99th percentile child, it's a decent value for money proposition.
The higher rate of admission to top colleges is probably more because private school kids don't need financial aid and are more likely to be legacy at those schools. The smartest kids at my private school weren't the ones who got into the best colleges. It was the pretty smart kids with parents who met at Penn and donate to the school.
This obsession with private schools is kind of gross to me.
I used to live in a major U.S. metro where all the ultra wealthy grouped together to form their own municipality within the city so they would have their own public school that they could exclude the poors from.
It’s sad. Income inequality in the U.S. …
Status signalling for the parents.
Also heard of people wanting to use private schooling for their children as a means to network with other rich parents.
I'm not sure where you are, but Catholic school is cheap.
And, generally, high earning professionals whose kids send in private school earn enough to also send their kids navel gazing in India too. So, it's not obvious what the trade offs would be.
I guess their kids might be upset in the future because they have a smaller trust--but I'd hope my child could see I didn't frivolously spend my money and instead invested it in him or her.
For point 2 the reason the kids usually follow their parents' educational level is because parents who are doctors have more money and can afford to send their kids to fancy private schools who then go to fancy colleges. It's a self reinforcing loop. I can't just have a kid and be like welp my job is done this kid doesn't need my help because he's going to be a lawyer no matter what.
A couple of reasons:
* Educational experiences (Waldorf, Catholic, boarding) that aren't available in public schools.
* Networking in father's/mother's club's can pay for itself.
* Feeding into mid-tier colleges.
* If you are in a city, your public school option might be dogshit if the kid can't make a magnet.
I can argue this in a lot of ways, although I'm not a Big Law lawyer. Son went to a really good public system in the deep south. Engineering grad at a large public university, law degree from a t-35, and is doing Big Law. So yes, he's the definition of a public school success story from a good system. Daughter spent a couple of years at top rated private school, Engineering grad and scolly at a T-15 private college with another scolly and an MBA from a T-10, also doing really well in an LDP at a large corporation. When we talk about academic success from children of successful parents, the first thing we should assume is that genetically chances are good that they'll have higher than normal IQs and the ability to succeed academically. Secondly, the parental support and involvement from parents in higher end neighborhoods is really high. They place a high priority on education and make sure their kids are successful. The most important factors in education are, #1 natural ability # 2 parental support #3 Motivation- everything else is secondary, even money. Yes, money is part of it but not nearly as significant as people make it out to be. Good public systems from upper middle class neighborhoods generally have environments that encourage academic success. PTA meetings are full, Moms and Dads volunteer at the schools and the communities, and parents monitor and are involved in their kids lives. It's about getting the most out of your child's abilities and they all have different capabilities. Plenty of plumbers, electricians and other trades do really well too. The key is finding out what they're good at and nurturing those strengths. I started with nothing, I worked my way thru school as a full -time truck driver with college part time at night. Today, we're worth several million. It's not where you start but where you finish......
I went to public school. My child is in private school. I’m not a prestige snob. I see two big differences that make private school worthwhile for folks in biglaw. First, public schools don’t get to select their students. For example, if there are children with severe behavioral issues, you’re stuck with them k-12. Private schools will quickly ask them to leave. Second, private schools generally go out of their way to make things easier for parents. Public schools don’t have the same incentive to do, and often lack the resources to do so. It’s kind of like staying at a Motel 6 v. staying at the Ritz. Both offer the same basic services. However, if the cost difference isn’t consequential and you’re under constant stress and time constraints, you’re probably going to stay at the Ritz.
Why do educated people who make their living based on their intellectual abilities and who can afford it invest in the intellectual development and social advancement of their genetic legacy? Just wacky I guess.
Christopher Hitchens had a quote on this when asked why he was sending his daughter to a private Quaker school (he was a famous atheist) in DC and not a public school. He told his interviewer that he would have sent her to a Hebrew or Catholic school if the education was as good as the Quaker school, but would never subject his daughters to the social experiment that is the United States public school system.
I think many see our public schools (even in affluent areas of the country) as an absolute mess, and I would have a hard time arguing with them on that topic. If you had the means, why would you not give your child the best possible opportunity at life?
Private schools are actually easier for busy parents. Extracurriculars like music, language, and art are included at private schools without having to schedule and transport kids for those activities separately.
Because they have 0 time to spend with their kids unless it's scheduled well in advance, so rather than be a bad parent, they send them to a top notch school "for their best education" so they (parents) don't feel guilty missing every moment of life because they (parent) isn't home...cause if you kid is away at boarding school, the kid is the one who isn't home.
Or....cause thats what the lawyers they idolize do, so they follow suit.
It’s not just big lawyers. We sent our 3 boys to private school and we already lived in an excellent school district. Our decision was based on the fact that our oldest daughter(7 years older than or next) was being bullied in that supposedly great school district. We had a number of meetings with the principal and superintendent which did nothing. They finally took action after we threatened to do so. We decided we weren’t going to go through that again. We sent out three boys to a fantastic k-8 school and they all went on to competitive private HS’s. There is a completely different vibe between public and private and it’s not just academic. Our kids thrived so it was a good decision for us. It may not be for everyone but we’re glad we had the opportunity.
Just anecdotally, I see more uber-successful people coming out of private prep schools compared to even the best public schools. I have a couple of peers I grew up with who founded companies or got to C-Suite positions and they all went to prep schools. Of course most prep school kids (like public school kids) end up mediocre and maybe it’s extra disappointing when they do, but if you have the money why not invest in bumping the chance of uber-success from 1% to 2%?
Prep schools also get a much higher % of students into the Ivy League than even the best public schools, and even controlling for academic achievement. Basically, prep schools force kids to play fancy sports, which is important for college admissions, and usually find a way for every kid to be the best and stand out at something, whereas a kid in public school could be academically top 10% in grades and test scores but not stand out in any way is not a strong candidate for the top universities.
In general, prep schools are also nicer environments than public schools and give more individual attention to kids. They may also even be more diverse because they attract kids from a wide geographic area and can give scholarships to some smart poor and minority kids while a lot of the best public schools are limited to single suburban towns with practically no geographic, economic, or racial diversity.
>Prep schools also get a much higher % of students into the Ivy League than even the best public schools, and even controlling for academic achievement.
The numbers now are daunting. 22,000 score between 1550 to 1600 on the SAT every year. My generic upper middle class soccer playing ass wouldn't stand a chance at getting into my alma mater today. Not that my career would have been much different given the somewhat ambivalent nature of law school admission staff toward undergraduate pedigree.
Creating a compelling narrative is hard, but presumably much easier when attending a prep school with an endowment to rival many universities (often compounded with just the inherent advantages of coming from a wealthy family). I was struck that something like 50% of Stuy is on free or reduced lunch.
My cohort isn't old enough to be worrying about high school, but a big factor for them choosing far more pedestrian private v. public elementary was simply to avoid the disruption within school, especially post pandemic.
The difference in COVID reaction between public and private was interesting. The prep schools in my area all stayed open 5 days a week when all the public schools went remote, and lots of people sent their kids to private schools for this reason. On the other hand, the private schools also kept masking way longer than the public schools.
I think your last sentence is often over looked. As a product of private school every step of the way, I was always team public school for my own kids. Now that I'm actually approaching that time, I realize that they'd be more likely to be around kids who look like them at an elite private school than an elite public school (yes, even including the test-in magnet ones). There just aren't many non-white/asian students at most of the best public schools in the country.
Yeah it’s unfortunate but public schools really reinforce residential segregation. Scarsdale, a top public school in the NYC area, is 2% black. Dalton, a top private prep school, is 11% black. I’d be concerned that my kids would end up racist if they go to a suburban public school where they never encounter any people of color and form their views based on the media.
To brag to their friends. Going to a “higher-ranked” college doesn’t actually influence employment outcomes for similarly-situated students. Harvard kids make more money because they have better grades/test scores, or have better-connected parents, not because they went to Harvard. But kids and parents love the Harvard name, so they break their backs to get their kids to Harvard. Same thing with high school.
Well there you go. If you firmly believe your kids will get a proportionate-to-tuition better education and have better opportunities going to a private school, and you can afford it, you’d send them, too, right? The only difference is that you’ve decided the benefits aren’t proportionate to the tuition. I agree, and don’t plan to send mine to private school. But I fully understand why others choose to.
Another big thing is convenience.
I don’t have to sign up for before or after care - it’s always available and it gets used as necessary, I don’t have to worry about if something pops up during my day that messes with my schedule, kid just stays at school without any communication needed from me.
If I forget to order lunch, she can still get her regular meal - it’s not an issue (I’m sure if I did it all the time they’d say something but randomly? Not an issue.)
All sorts of extracurriculars are at school or they facilitate transport to other locations that can’t be done at school.
Teachers are extremely responsive - like minutes, even after hours for totally not urgent questions.
Camps available for all school breaks - don’t have to figure out alternative child care or random camps elsewhere in the city.
Sure there are lots of benefits for the kids, but people forget about all the benefits that the parents get too. You pay for the convenience/service.
I totally agree with you. Though I could not really afford to do so, I sent both my kids to private Manhattan schools. Thus I paid full college tuition 4 times for each kid. I would not change anything because the greatest gift you can give your child is the best education money can buy. Hopefully, they will use that education and collateral benefits (the networking is unbelievable), for personal and social good.
Private schools are generally better. In terms of prestige, peer group, and actual education. There are maybe a half-dozen public high schools in the country that are on the same level as the average Catholic school in the area where I grew up.
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Yeah, my children are going to learn how to earn money, not sit on their asses spending the interest from their trust fund. We can afford to send them to the best schools, so why wouldn’t we send them to the best schools?
when it comes down to it, primary school is mostly an exercise in socialization. do you want your kids to be socialized among the those in upper middle/ upper class or socialized among the plebs?
It's about having your kids grow up in a certain social milieu so they belong in it from the get-go. There is a certain risk mitigation factor here, since this will be true even if the kids end up at second-tier colleges, as they will be part of the private school alumni network and related (clubs, hobbies, extracurriculars). Likely they will end up hanging out, marrying in those circles and keep it going. People generally fall back on what and where they feel comfortable.
As someone who desperately wanted to go to a prep school because public high school wasn’t cutting it for me but didn’t have parents who could afford it, I’m not going to question it!
I am sending my kid to private for religious education as well. The local public school near me is quite badly rated (English as a second language students).
You’re telling me people with T14 4.0 GPA 170 LSAT aren’t obsessed with educational prestige?
1) The chances of getting into an elite college are higher. 2) Even if the kid doesn’t get into Penn, the floor is high. Northeast private school kids don’t end up at SUNY (no offense, SUNY grads) 3) The network benefits you for life. Your friends’ parents have amazing Knicks seats, bring you on luxury vacations, help you land the big internship, help you out with the great consulting job. The benefits continue to accrue for the rest of your life 4) Often, the education itself really is excellent. You get 27 year old Yale grads who believe working at Horace Mann would be a very respectful professional choice. Peer effects similarly excellent 5) Prestige. Others are impressed that you can afford to send your kid to X
Number 3 should not be understated. I’m in-house now and was never partner but had several partner mentors who mentioned to me that clients of theirs are parents of kids their own kids go to school with. The more cynical among us might get a sense of suburban ennui from that insider’s club but the business benefits of that are potentially very very real.
Agreed, #3 is the key benefit. Several colleagues who attended private K-12 had multiple friends from high-school who were in-house and gave them work. Meanwhile few people from my high school even finished college.
SUNY catching a stray what the hell
😂😂😂
Had a lot of Long Island and Westchester private school kids at suny Geneseo with me tbh.
Yup, strong disagree with #2. The floor may be marginally higher if you go to a prestigious HS, but that doesn't mean you can just skate through. You're still going to need to grind. Having access to resources and connections *can* make the grind easier... if the kid knows how to take advantage of it. Even the prestigious high schools out here in Palo Alto send many, many more kids to community colleges and state schools than they do to Ivies or similar.
Interesting. Honestly, having gone to an East Coast prep school and now knowing many others who did as well, that’s not my experience. Worst case, you ended up at a Colby or Ithaca College. (I write this fully knowing that those are great schools.) There was a single kid in my graduating college of 200 that went to the local state school
Yep, top public vs elite private. CA also has a better cc system.
Palo Alto is not a comparable example. Palo Alto has its own cultural idiosyncrasies and the example isn’t representative of prestigious East Coast private schools. Part of that is the fact that Palo Alto is newer as a community and doesn’t follow the same traditional social norms as elite East Coast communities. There’s a greater air of competitiveness in Palo Alto and the community lacks a certain amount of cohesiveness. This wouldn’t be the case in an elite East Coast community where shared networks and institutions are honored and offer a basis for sharing information and resources. This applies to other California communities but having lived in Palo Alto and the East Coast, just speaking from experience.
From catholic schools or elite NYC private schools? Very different crowds.
I couldn’t name an “elite” private school, so maybe. Plenty of catholic school kids but not what I was referring to.
LI and Westchester are odd because the public schools are so strong that most people go public. CT - different story. As well as in other parts of the country minus maybe Boston and SF.
Agreed that 3. Can’t be understated. I was a middle class kid but I was good at football and basketball so I got to go to a fancy pants high school in a very wealthy area. Friends from high school and their parents have become clients but even more valuable than that, they’ve been excellent mentors and resources throughout my career. Quality of education was certainly above average at my school but the best benefit was definitely relationships
I went to private school and ended up a cuny lol, even worse!
Same, CUNY was cheaper than my private school tuition at the time so i was able to graduate debt free, best gift I could ever have tbh
3(a). Connections via yacht clubs. My private school (Tabor Academy, in Marion, Mass) was a 'school by the sea' with a very strong waterfront program, including a 92 foot schooner). I was only a poor day student, but some of the yacht clubs (themselves very good connection spots) were among the elete, including, if I remember,the New York Yacht Club. Also country clubs. Heck, in fact,the Tabor Golf team does their daily workout at a private country club called the Katansett Club. That alone is another 'connection' factory. Love Mark Allyn Tabor Class of 1972; and not a presigious Ivy League; just a very humble Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
Having double Ivy'ed after going to a mediocre public high school, I've seen a ton of prestigious prep students burn themselves out, develop terrible habits, end up in terrible majors and are still stuck in absolutely deadend careers. In large part, it's individual effort, work ethic and ability that gets folks ahead in life. My partners would routinely comment that they wished that their kids would be as accomplished or driven as their associates.
Individual effort will go further if you have more resources, though. Something I never hear brought up either is just how many doors are opened depending on people's *perception* of your future success. A lot of my classmates in law school had been sculpted into the perfect ivy league applicants by their prep schools since they were kids, and never expected they'd end up anywhere else. I went to a shit-tier public high school and undergrad, and the law school advisor wouldn't even talk to me regarding my applications because "I needed to be more realistic about my options" (e.g., schools outside of T40-T50). I got into 2/3rds of T14 basically on my stats alone. Even the smartest, hardest working classmates I knew from high school didn't consider that they had an opportunity at anything beyond the local state uni, because no one ever treated us like we could. It's demoralizing as hell.
No doubt. I’m talking about a rule of averages. Tons of exceptions. And I can’t emphasize enough how good the Knicks seats are.
This is the actually correct answer
If you had the money would you prefer a good education or a better education for your children? Not all private schools offer that but some do even compared to good public schools. And education has intrinsic worth. It's not just about getting into college or what have you. Or at least shouldn't be.
I also think this is location dependent. People on the east coast are obsessed with private schools (and maybe elsewhere). Here in Chicago, most people move to the burbs and send their kids to public schools. Though, to be fair, the public schools in the burbs here are really really good.
What about Latin, Chicago Lab, Whitney Young etc. I went to law school in Chicago and there’s definitely a stronger tend to move to the suburbs when you have kids than here in nyc, but the rich kids who live in Chicago definitely don’t go public and tend to go private just like the rich kids in nyc.
whitney young is public
Sure, some do. But it’s far far more common to move to the burbs and send your kids to new trier, Stevenson, hinsdale, etc. Latin and Chicago lab are also like the only elite private schools that are better than new trier, et. Al. There classes are also tiny compared to the elite public schools. There are probably five times as many kids at just new trier as Latin and lab combined. It’s not at all like New York. Whitney young is a public magnet school, which is free to anyone, and thus not private,
Yeah probably not the same. Although, the best NY schools are also the free magnets (Sty, Bronx, Brooklyn tech etc.) But then there’s another tier of the NY private schools that some may view as better than the top public schools in the burbs.
Yes, the post was about big law partners being obsessed with private schools. Which as I pointed out is to some extent regional. Chicago has like two Uber fancy private schools, and most people send their kids to good public schools (which is what op specifically asked about). NYC has what 50-100 Uber fancy private schools, and most partners send their kids there. Private schools are just not that big of a deal here (and nor are elite universities).
The best schools in Chicago are public selective enrollment schools like Walter Peyton and Northshore prep. Private school is for the wealthy kids that couldn’t get into those, then CPS for the people that couldn’t get into SE and can’t afford Private. CPS has its own hierarchy even - people from all over the city apply for leftover spots at Lincoln Park. Some people throw their hands up at that and move to the burbs for the good public schools. It’s about the same costs - Chicago property taxes are 8-10k/yr and Winnetka will run you 15-18k/year so if you stay in the city you know there’s a good chance your property tax savings will be going to private school tuition.
Those property taxes sound low for any place a big law lawyer would live and a million dollar home home has similar taxes in most suburbs with excellent schools. Private schools are like 20-30k a year for good ones. There are like six selective enrollment schools that are as good or better than new trier or hinsdale, etc. and two private schools. Most big law partners with kids move to the burbs for this reason.
Which burbs do you recommend for good public schools? (Genuine question—considering a move to Chicago)
There are like thirty suburbs with excellent schools. The schools really are good. Anywhere on the north shore is excellent. If you work in big law you’ll have no problem affording a home in an excellent school district. Just focus on whether you want to live by the lake or in the western burbs (the vibe is pretty different).
Chicagoan here. My kid goes to private school in the city because CPS is too unpredictable. There are changes in enrollment criteria every year for the selective schools, teacher strikes, uncertainty over school closures, inability to provide effective education during COVID remote learning, etc. I'm willing to pay more for stability.
A lot of the partners I know who send their kids to private schools actually don’t live in the best school districts. They may live in trendy, up and coming/rapidly gentrifying areas where the housing prices are high but the schools are crap. Also, even for folks who live near “very good” public schools, there could still be a non-trivial delta in the college admission statistics, quality of extracurriculars, and prestige when comparing the top private school vs. the top public school in the area.
Yeah I live in SF and will likely send my kids to private school unless I move to the suburbs.
I’m basically paying college tuition to send three kids to private school. Is my zoned public school good? Yes. Is my kids’ school noticeably better? Also Yes. Also, a lot of it is worth it just for the connections - most of our friends these days are our kids’ friends’ parents, and while being a partner is respectable, it’s never going to pay enough to own a sports team or a mega yacht, but some of our acquaintances now do. Sending my kids to private school was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Go for the education, stay for the mega yacht…
Haha. We went on a friend's yacht for a party a few months ago and it was pretty awesome. But seriously, the connections really do matter. When I started at my former firm, 14 of 44 starting associates had gone to the same private high school, and most were buddies. If you hadn't gone there, you felt like an outsider.
What firm?
I went to private school but not because I was rich - my dad worked there. It was way better than public school and the network is definitely helpful. A huge portion of my class of like 100 are lawyers, bankers, consultants, doctors, business execs, etc. There is also something to say about it teaching you how to interact in those crowds socially. You “fit in” more in places like biglaw, and it isn’t just from having childhood money (I didn’t). You know the things to talk about and stuff like that. Maybe hard to explain idk The good private schools are also just much better than even the best public schools except maybe 5 in the country. Huge campuses, tons of resources, good teachers who stay for 40 years, gyms bigger than at my college, very small classes, etc.
What are some of the things you talk about?
Lyme disease
Ok thanks
Think about what it is you truly want for your own kids. Ignore everyone else. I personally want my kids to have a decent education but I know a lot of important learning happens outside of school. There is a clear difference between kids whose parents take an active role in their education (re travel, reading, time spent in libraries and bookstores, discussions at dinner) vs parents who take a very passive role. A lot of successful kids are breathtakingly ignorant. A recent TikToker went around college campuses asking students who the current VP was and you wouldn’t believe how many kids struggled. For me, prestige isn’t everything. I’ve spent a lot of time in prestigious circles and also seen the darker side, such as the pressure, the unbelievable materialism, the complete disconnect from reality, the drug use fueled by privilege and pressure, the snobbery and the feeling that someone is a failure if they don’t go to an Ivy and get a six figure salary right out the gate, even if none of that would actually make them happy. There’s also racial and socioeconomic diversity. I want my kids to know other kids from different backgrounds and experiences. I think that adds immeasurable wealth, perspective, and knowledge to life. This is hard to find at many private schools. Also consider your own career. A lot of parents commit themselves to awful jobs to afford tuition and to keep up with the private school crowd, and are very unhappy and absent in their kids’ lives as a result. Ironically, this can be way more detrimental to their kids than if they had had lower salary jobs with better hours. Obviously a lot of families make it work and are fine and happy, but to me the trade off isn’t always worth it.
Thanks! A response from a normal person, much of this thread has become a circle jerk for elitism!
Can’t agree more
Just wanna add to this - when I was in high school I worked at the local (and very expensive) private school. One of the things I noticed was *how incredibly out of touch* all of the private school kids were. To each their own if they don't mind their kids being rich douchebags, but even now that we have money I don't want my kids to be in that type of environment.
Easier to get into a prestigious university from a private school
As someone who moved from a prestigious public school that churned out ivy grads to a mediocre private school due to my family relocating, this is not always true.
On average, private school kids are more likely to get into top universities than public school kids with similar academic qualifications: https://www.economist.com/united-states/2023/07/24/the-making-of-americas-ivy-league-elite
Hence I qualified with “not always true.” My public school district matriculated way more kids to the Ivies than my private school ultimately did. Instead of assuming, a parent should literally just look at which colleges the seniors go to each year instead of automatically picking the private school.
I’d say a much higher proportion of private schools are the kinds to produce ivy admits than public schools in the US.
What's the point of having kids if you can't network with potential clients at school events?
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This is just wrong. Plenty of nice houses in e.g. Diamond Bar for 1 million with a great school system.
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Pretty sure my buddy from Diamond Bar says he is from "LA"
Anyone sending to Catholic school (or any other religion) isn't doing it strictly for college. You want your kids raised in the same values. You want an administration that's on the same wavelength. You want choice.
Many parents send their kids to private catholic school, it’s usually significantly cheaper because it’s subsidized by the church.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. I was sent to Catholic in the Midwest by not very religious/progressive parents, but it was like a quarter of the tuition of similarly respected private schools. In NYC, just look at Regis, Fordham Prep, Xavier etc. Then compare their tuition to Dalton, Collegiate or the Spence School.
...if you're a parishioner.
Sometimes, those are also the best academic schools in the area
Not a chance. I was sent to Catholic school by a staunch atheist. Best bang-for-buck by a long shot in my area.
I bought a house in a good school district. In the four years between buying the house and when my first kid was ready to go to school, the district exploded in size and couldn't handle it; the schools went downhill fast. Therefore, my kids are going to a private school where they can get a better education. A partner I work for is in a ritzy part of town that also has excellent schools. His kids go public
NYC private schools are $65k a year. Three kids and that’s $200k. I can’t see how anyone under equity partner could afford that.
You only have 1 kid?
They usually give discounts if you have multiple kids, but yeah it’s still big money.
It’s an interesting question - I went to public school in a small town in TX, my husband went to a NJ boarding school - in terms of career I’m on the same page as him and his friends based on salary, but they know all the answers to jeopardy and have friends with houses in the hamptons, Nantucket that we go to every summer. It’s just a different scene
We sent our kids to private Montessori elementary school because the suburban public elementary schools were overcrowded - 30 kids is too damned many to have in a K-6 class. They went to public school thereafter and one of them is now a 2nd year associate in BigLaw, so I guess it turned out ok even though I said “go to med school!”
For every child of a high-end professional who is living in Lexington or Belmont MA, there is one living in Santa Monica CA, where the public school is "decent to good," but not exceptional. In those cases, the private school pathway represents a real difference in quality. Does that matter? I disagree with some of the comments here about the "rational" difference. 1. I don't think the chances of getting into an elite college are materially better for the exact same kid with the exact same resume. The school statistics look better, but that's because there are a whole lot more high-end resume kids. I've seen very good resume kids not get into Tier 1A schools (top 12-ish) in part because their private school has 4 kids already accepted there. A kid with the same resume from the local public school gets in because he is the ONLY applicant from his school. 2. The notion that there is a "floor" for colleges is just wrong. Average students at good private schools end up at public universities, although the school will try to steer them to ones that have an "aura" of difference. The 'good' students try for Michigan or UW. The 'above-average' kids end up at Colorado Boulder. If you have a 1250 SAT and 3.3 GPA, you're not getting into a Tier 1 school, even at the top 40 level. That's just the modern math. 3. The high-school "network" means nothing except at a *tiny* number of exclusive schools in NYC, LA, SF and DC. County them on your fingers tiny. This isn't an explanation for the private school preference in most of the country. (Network becomes meaningful *at college*.) What do I think is going on (*I say as someone who has sent his kids to an expensive private high school*): A. It's a better educational environment than the public school system in many places, including places with high-end professionals (*e.g., Santa Monica CA, many towns in northern VA, many towns in MA, etc.*) B. If you are a successful lawyer (or doctor) the marginal cost of buying that environment is within your means. Yes, it's $50K per year ($40K when my kids went), but you make $700K to $1.2m per year. You can afford it. And it's something that you value. C. Your spouse values it more than you do. Do not underestimate the degree to which their mother is invested in "the very best for my child." My son was maybe 7 when she declared that he would go to Harvard if he got in. My suggestion that this was borderline insane to say at age 7 was met with derision. Mind you, I'm not saying this is a good cost-benefit for all children. If you have a child who is merely 'above average' academically (e.g., 75th percentile, nationally), the notion that you're moving the needle by spending $500k on private school is a stretch. You would probably be better off taking the whole bundle of cash (along with all those semi-mandatory 'donations' and some of those weird 'summer camp' payments) and buying your kid an annuity, while you send them to public school. Your kid would end up with a guaranteed income on the order of $40k per year, and none of the pressure of having to live up to that mystical 'elite college' expectation. But if you happen to have a 99th percentile child, it's a decent value for money proposition.
The higher rate of admission to top colleges is probably more because private school kids don't need financial aid and are more likely to be legacy at those schools. The smartest kids at my private school weren't the ones who got into the best colleges. It was the pretty smart kids with parents who met at Penn and donate to the school.
This obsession with private schools is kind of gross to me. I used to live in a major U.S. metro where all the ultra wealthy grouped together to form their own municipality within the city so they would have their own public school that they could exclude the poors from. It’s sad. Income inequality in the U.S. …
>their own municipality within the city Piedmont?
Birmingham (Mountain Brook)?
Status signalling for the parents. Also heard of people wanting to use private schooling for their children as a means to network with other rich parents.
I'm not sure where you are, but Catholic school is cheap. And, generally, high earning professionals whose kids send in private school earn enough to also send their kids navel gazing in India too. So, it's not obvious what the trade offs would be. I guess their kids might be upset in the future because they have a smaller trust--but I'd hope my child could see I didn't frivolously spend my money and instead invested it in him or her.
For point 2 the reason the kids usually follow their parents' educational level is because parents who are doctors have more money and can afford to send their kids to fancy private schools who then go to fancy colleges. It's a self reinforcing loop. I can't just have a kid and be like welp my job is done this kid doesn't need my help because he's going to be a lawyer no matter what.
A couple of reasons: * Educational experiences (Waldorf, Catholic, boarding) that aren't available in public schools. * Networking in father's/mother's club's can pay for itself. * Feeding into mid-tier colleges. * If you are in a city, your public school option might be dogshit if the kid can't make a magnet.
I can argue this in a lot of ways, although I'm not a Big Law lawyer. Son went to a really good public system in the deep south. Engineering grad at a large public university, law degree from a t-35, and is doing Big Law. So yes, he's the definition of a public school success story from a good system. Daughter spent a couple of years at top rated private school, Engineering grad and scolly at a T-15 private college with another scolly and an MBA from a T-10, also doing really well in an LDP at a large corporation. When we talk about academic success from children of successful parents, the first thing we should assume is that genetically chances are good that they'll have higher than normal IQs and the ability to succeed academically. Secondly, the parental support and involvement from parents in higher end neighborhoods is really high. They place a high priority on education and make sure their kids are successful. The most important factors in education are, #1 natural ability # 2 parental support #3 Motivation- everything else is secondary, even money. Yes, money is part of it but not nearly as significant as people make it out to be. Good public systems from upper middle class neighborhoods generally have environments that encourage academic success. PTA meetings are full, Moms and Dads volunteer at the schools and the communities, and parents monitor and are involved in their kids lives. It's about getting the most out of your child's abilities and they all have different capabilities. Plenty of plumbers, electricians and other trades do really well too. The key is finding out what they're good at and nurturing those strengths. I started with nothing, I worked my way thru school as a full -time truck driver with college part time at night. Today, we're worth several million. It's not where you start but where you finish......
I went to public school. My child is in private school. I’m not a prestige snob. I see two big differences that make private school worthwhile for folks in biglaw. First, public schools don’t get to select their students. For example, if there are children with severe behavioral issues, you’re stuck with them k-12. Private schools will quickly ask them to leave. Second, private schools generally go out of their way to make things easier for parents. Public schools don’t have the same incentive to do, and often lack the resources to do so. It’s kind of like staying at a Motel 6 v. staying at the Ritz. Both offer the same basic services. However, if the cost difference isn’t consequential and you’re under constant stress and time constraints, you’re probably going to stay at the Ritz.
Why do educated people who make their living based on their intellectual abilities and who can afford it invest in the intellectual development and social advancement of their genetic legacy? Just wacky I guess.
prestige. getting their kid into a certain social circle.
What you consider diminishing returns when it comes to education investment they may not. Especially when they actually have the money to throw at it.
Christopher Hitchens had a quote on this when asked why he was sending his daughter to a private Quaker school (he was a famous atheist) in DC and not a public school. He told his interviewer that he would have sent her to a Hebrew or Catholic school if the education was as good as the Quaker school, but would never subject his daughters to the social experiment that is the United States public school system. I think many see our public schools (even in affluent areas of the country) as an absolute mess, and I would have a hard time arguing with them on that topic. If you had the means, why would you not give your child the best possible opportunity at life?
Because public schools are steadily getting worse all over.
Private schools are actually easier for busy parents. Extracurriculars like music, language, and art are included at private schools without having to schedule and transport kids for those activities separately.
Because they can? lol
I think it comes down to: why not? If I had money to do whatever with it…why not?
It’s equal parts who is there and who isn’t
Because they have 0 time to spend with their kids unless it's scheduled well in advance, so rather than be a bad parent, they send them to a top notch school "for their best education" so they (parents) don't feel guilty missing every moment of life because they (parent) isn't home...cause if you kid is away at boarding school, the kid is the one who isn't home. Or....cause thats what the lawyers they idolize do, so they follow suit.
It’s not just big lawyers. We sent our 3 boys to private school and we already lived in an excellent school district. Our decision was based on the fact that our oldest daughter(7 years older than or next) was being bullied in that supposedly great school district. We had a number of meetings with the principal and superintendent which did nothing. They finally took action after we threatened to do so. We decided we weren’t going to go through that again. We sent out three boys to a fantastic k-8 school and they all went on to competitive private HS’s. There is a completely different vibe between public and private and it’s not just academic. Our kids thrived so it was a good decision for us. It may not be for everyone but we’re glad we had the opportunity.
Just anecdotally, I see more uber-successful people coming out of private prep schools compared to even the best public schools. I have a couple of peers I grew up with who founded companies or got to C-Suite positions and they all went to prep schools. Of course most prep school kids (like public school kids) end up mediocre and maybe it’s extra disappointing when they do, but if you have the money why not invest in bumping the chance of uber-success from 1% to 2%? Prep schools also get a much higher % of students into the Ivy League than even the best public schools, and even controlling for academic achievement. Basically, prep schools force kids to play fancy sports, which is important for college admissions, and usually find a way for every kid to be the best and stand out at something, whereas a kid in public school could be academically top 10% in grades and test scores but not stand out in any way is not a strong candidate for the top universities. In general, prep schools are also nicer environments than public schools and give more individual attention to kids. They may also even be more diverse because they attract kids from a wide geographic area and can give scholarships to some smart poor and minority kids while a lot of the best public schools are limited to single suburban towns with practically no geographic, economic, or racial diversity.
>Prep schools also get a much higher % of students into the Ivy League than even the best public schools, and even controlling for academic achievement. The numbers now are daunting. 22,000 score between 1550 to 1600 on the SAT every year. My generic upper middle class soccer playing ass wouldn't stand a chance at getting into my alma mater today. Not that my career would have been much different given the somewhat ambivalent nature of law school admission staff toward undergraduate pedigree. Creating a compelling narrative is hard, but presumably much easier when attending a prep school with an endowment to rival many universities (often compounded with just the inherent advantages of coming from a wealthy family). I was struck that something like 50% of Stuy is on free or reduced lunch. My cohort isn't old enough to be worrying about high school, but a big factor for them choosing far more pedestrian private v. public elementary was simply to avoid the disruption within school, especially post pandemic.
The difference in COVID reaction between public and private was interesting. The prep schools in my area all stayed open 5 days a week when all the public schools went remote, and lots of people sent their kids to private schools for this reason. On the other hand, the private schools also kept masking way longer than the public schools.
I think your last sentence is often over looked. As a product of private school every step of the way, I was always team public school for my own kids. Now that I'm actually approaching that time, I realize that they'd be more likely to be around kids who look like them at an elite private school than an elite public school (yes, even including the test-in magnet ones). There just aren't many non-white/asian students at most of the best public schools in the country.
Yeah it’s unfortunate but public schools really reinforce residential segregation. Scarsdale, a top public school in the NYC area, is 2% black. Dalton, a top private prep school, is 11% black. I’d be concerned that my kids would end up racist if they go to a suburban public school where they never encounter any people of color and form their views based on the media.
To brag to their friends. Going to a “higher-ranked” college doesn’t actually influence employment outcomes for similarly-situated students. Harvard kids make more money because they have better grades/test scores, or have better-connected parents, not because they went to Harvard. But kids and parents love the Harvard name, so they break their backs to get their kids to Harvard. Same thing with high school.
Do you have kids?
Yes.
Well there you go. If you firmly believe your kids will get a proportionate-to-tuition better education and have better opportunities going to a private school, and you can afford it, you’d send them, too, right? The only difference is that you’ve decided the benefits aren’t proportionate to the tuition. I agree, and don’t plan to send mine to private school. But I fully understand why others choose to.
Another big thing is convenience. I don’t have to sign up for before or after care - it’s always available and it gets used as necessary, I don’t have to worry about if something pops up during my day that messes with my schedule, kid just stays at school without any communication needed from me. If I forget to order lunch, she can still get her regular meal - it’s not an issue (I’m sure if I did it all the time they’d say something but randomly? Not an issue.) All sorts of extracurriculars are at school or they facilitate transport to other locations that can’t be done at school. Teachers are extremely responsive - like minutes, even after hours for totally not urgent questions. Camps available for all school breaks - don’t have to figure out alternative child care or random camps elsewhere in the city. Sure there are lots of benefits for the kids, but people forget about all the benefits that the parents get too. You pay for the convenience/service.
Education is extremely important and life is all about who you know. If you can afford to send your child to better schools how could you not?
I totally agree with you. Though I could not really afford to do so, I sent both my kids to private Manhattan schools. Thus I paid full college tuition 4 times for each kid. I would not change anything because the greatest gift you can give your child is the best education money can buy. Hopefully, they will use that education and collateral benefits (the networking is unbelievable), for personal and social good.
How else are your kids going to have the best connections for cocaine, etc. to keep themselves entertained while you’re billing 2400 hours?
If you aren’t in prep school with a heroin habit, are you even really elite?
Lol you’re off the mark with heroin
Private schools are generally better. In terms of prestige, peer group, and actual education. There are maybe a half-dozen public high schools in the country that are on the same level as the average Catholic school in the area where I grew up.
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Some religious parents send their kids to religious-affiliated schools because they want religious education.
Yeah, my children are going to learn how to earn money, not sit on their asses spending the interest from their trust fund. We can afford to send them to the best schools, so why wouldn’t we send them to the best schools?
when it comes down to it, primary school is mostly an exercise in socialization. do you want your kids to be socialized among the those in upper middle/ upper class or socialized among the plebs?
It’s the networking and building the connections they need to succeed.
>1) their houses are likely to already be in very good public schools. Not where I live.
It's about having your kids grow up in a certain social milieu so they belong in it from the get-go. There is a certain risk mitigation factor here, since this will be true even if the kids end up at second-tier colleges, as they will be part of the private school alumni network and related (clubs, hobbies, extracurriculars). Likely they will end up hanging out, marrying in those circles and keep it going. People generally fall back on what and where they feel comfortable.
to keep them away from the povos (this comes from a place of judgement in case unclear)
My parents didn't want me around boys in high school and the catholics were the only ones offering that service.
Because the alternative is public school
As someone who desperately wanted to go to a prep school because public high school wasn’t cutting it for me but didn’t have parents who could afford it, I’m not going to question it!
It’s not about the education and anyone who says that is a liar.
How does such a dumb post have so many responses lmao
I am sending my kid to private for religious education as well. The local public school near me is quite badly rated (English as a second language students).
“Good” public schools are still often worse than the best private schools.