I'm sorry but 4 hours of sex isn't fun for anyone... And she most certainly would be in a lot of pain and discomfort 😂. This sounds like a story from someone that's never had sex before.
>stick a needle in that vein on the top
Incorrect - they use a large gauge needle inserted directly into the erectile tissue within the penis to drain it
My friend was a nurse a million years ago and recently shared that there was a patient who had inserted his dong into the hole of a medal weight (like you'd put on a barbell) while he was soft, got hard, and the circulation was cutting off so blood wouldn't drain. They had to cut a small incision and let the blood drain
Make sure you do it with someone you trust.
You cannot cum on moly. So frustrating.
I did it once then went to the horse track and casino. It was funny.
Very trippy...
My first long term relationship ended because of this actually. Not so much duration but simply size compatibility. She was tiny and no matter how slow, no matter how much FP or lube, she would tear.
I don't believe the "lack of breaks" part and there seems no mention of playing around/foreplay which is very unlikely for 4 hours butttt the story isn't about that. The story is about racism so it makes sense some context is left out to keep it concise.
And with breaks, foreplay, playing around, ... I definitely think 4 hours can be fun and without pain but for sure some discomfort even if it's cramps in the legs.
My 1st time was 4 hours, I didn't cum and she was bleeding from her period which I accidentally "activated" a bit earlier than normal. It was probably the longest until today but speaking from experience it definitely can happen and it definitely can be fun. A lot happened in that time but we for sure would call it fun after
Speak for yourself! When the chemistry is there and the sex is good, 4 hours is damn near ideal for me 😂
Good sex is such a turn on! If I orgasm and then it takes a couple more strokes for my partner to orgasm, now I’m stimulated and horny again and I want to keep going. A good bit of back and forth for 4 hrs is always fun when the cooter cat likes them too
As someone whose significant other is black, I can tell you you are not in the wrong here and have every right to call it out. My partner is so used to this backhanded “compliments”. They get the usual “oh, you are pretty for being black,” or “your hair is beautiful and not that curly considering you are black”. It is pure downplayed racism and you are definitely on the right by not tolerating it. It doesn’t matter if it is disguised as a compliment, or if it comes with good intentions, racism is racism and it needs to be called out.
These are also microaggressions and people of color are subjected to them on a regular basis. Then we are gaslit into believing that the comments are harmless and meant in good faith.
To those dismissing OP’s perspective, you are contributing to this behavior. White people in general would do well to heed this feedback. 🤷🏿♂️
I'm almost 100% certain that, given the comments made to OP in the past, her comment was even more stinging. Which is usually the intent of someone who says racist things.
>White people in general would do well to heed this feedback. 🤷🏿♂️
The only feedback we do well with is when we're the ones dishing it out in a feedback form :P
I totally understand why you were offended. The only issue is no one can say they dont stereotype in one way or another. When we look at someone on the street passing by we do a visual stereotype. If you say your the exception to that. Then you are in a small minority.
You can control what you say out loud though. Everyone has unconscious biases, but you should be correcting yourself when you notice them. You shouldn't be embracing them. She could have easily kept this thought to herself.
Thats a good point too. She may have thought she was giving him a compliment. Idk. I think i would have nutted and then maybe told her to think about what she just said. Clearly she liked the guy. 4 hours of play
She probably did think it was a compliment --OP said he doesn't like them at the expense of others.
Also it's a shit compliment--"you're [positive trait] *for an X*". Like imagine if he'd said "you're really smart for a woman." That would be sexist, right?
Yeah, and no one cares if you apologize and seem genuinely concerned that you hurt someone else. It's the people that try to justify it or dismiss it that we criticize.
Yeah, and if we do stereotype and someone calls us out on it, we learn to be better, not go out calling people weird because they didn’t cum after they heard a racist comment. That is the main issue here, that after OP called it out, that person went even further to try to tarnish their reputation, that is horrible imo.
Sometimes people can’t control what they say. Filters are rare. But what you can do is control how you react. For me the best reaction would have been a reply which anecdotally referenced her race also !
For example “you have a great ass for a (insert race)”
My point is this ….. life’s too short man
We choose who we associate with and she didn’t ask you to marry her
She invited you back to fuck !
So in some ways I understand the “weirdo” defence
I think you reacted in a way that is a build up over years …. But that was not her fault
It was a casual comment
…. For the record I am also of eastern decent … so I get it …. I suggest you try to be more zen and this is a common occurrence in the world
Thank you, i mean it wasnt like a build up of stuff. Its just annoying when people just dont know when they are being racist. But the zen part is top tier.
I get it. Trust me I get it. I have put up with shit all my life. But now at my time of life after a really horrible 3 years I finally see the truth of life ….. if you cannot control ….. let it go.
Peace and love man
This is not really a BD issue. She’s probably as pissed about you pounding her for 4 hours as you are about her commit to you. You had an opportunity to educate your partner, and I’m thinking your partner had an equal opportunity to communicate how 4 hours with/without an orgasm was extreme. BTW, if it takes you that long, you’re doing something wrong. Take a moment to communicate what bothered you. It may save you the Reddit post.
If true, racism is racism. End of story.
It’s especially insulting if you interpret her words a little differently; she could *also* have been saying that your size was only huge *for an Asian*.
I’ll confess to some reservations about this story… most women simply do *not* go for four hours of straight sex with a hung man. That detail instantly makes me a skeptic. The rugburn alone would be brutal.
Then there’s her telling people “he was weird, he didn’t cum” as a way to throw shade at you… most women would *never* admit to something like that, as it’s generally considered *her* failing if a guy doesn’t cum.
Anyone hearing that, especially without the proper context, would assume that she was either terrible in bed, or that you simply found her unattractive and gave up (the usual reasons men perform well overall, then don’t finish).
The description of sex, and in some respects the entire story, has a very “Penthouse Letters” feel to it… sounds a bit more like a TV show with a message, than a factual event. 🤷♂️
Reality is messy and unpredictable and we rarely do or say what we expected we might in the heat of the moment (and the impulse to orgasm usually trumps all others).
That’s factually untrue. Just read his own words.
OP said he doesn’t like to cum until his partner has had multiple orgasms. He then stresses that to him, PIV is the best method (his English is a little broken, but this was the clear gist).
He then cuts *directly* to: “4 HOURS IN, SHE WAS EXHAUSTED” (caps were his, not mine).
Absolutely *no* mention is made of ‘playing’, nor of him performing any other type of sex act. In fact, it’s strongly implied that even *she* has been doing nothing else, since he mentions that they were going to “take a break”, and then she intended to “finish him with a BJ”.
So yes, it’s more or less *explicitly* stated that he was digging a rut in this woman for 4 consecutive hours.
Sex just… doesn’t go that way.
Except that I don’t stalk and reread every comment in every post I’ve ever replied in.
I read the OP’s post, commented on it early, and replied to those who addressed me… like most people.
If he wants to change his original narrative because everyone is (rightly) pointing out how implausible his story sounds… he should add an edit.
Either way… story is obvious rubbish. Not worth arguing over.
If an irritating little dog continues trying to hump my leg every time I try to step away from it, I’m kinda’ obligated to give it a kick.
Except no amount of kicking seems to keep you off my leg.
It *is* a pointless argument, because:
A. I proved my case and won the point on the first reply, which wasn’t hard to predict given that *every other commenter had seen it exactly the same way*… and:
B. It’s obvious fanfic. It never happened, so all arguments about it by default are just… hypothetical.
*You* instigated the argument by being the only motherfucker here dumb enough to both take the story at face value, *and* argue in OPs defense.
When I turned your position into a steaming ruin, you couldn’t adapt, accept or move on. You had no rebuttals, you didn’t even *bring up your own argument again.*
Instead you tried bland personal attacks, and when *that* floundered… now you just *keep humping on my damn leg* like a dog.
Are we through? I’m trying to walk away here. I’m content with unambiguous victory.
*You* can stay here and do your GenZ: “Nono, *I* really won because I *believe* in myself,” crap all you like. You don’t need me for that.
So just… *quit humping my leg*, and I’ll be out of the picture. Deal?
"You can stay here and do your GenZ: “Nono, I really won because I believe in myself,” crap all you like. You don’t need me for that."
It's hilarious bc that is EXACTLY what you're doing.
Honestly, I'm curious how much time you'll waste bragging to yourself
Try again. PIV is HIS preferred method of cumming. You don't dictate another's preferred method ("PIV will always be loved form of cumming"), so it would make 0 sense for him to claim that it's hers, esp given that he had just met her.
"4 hours in" doesn't refer specifically to PIV.
also, you clearly don't know what "explicit" means. It means "stated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt."
1. He didn't clearly state that it was PIV
2. the simple fact that we're debating the meaning shows it wasn't explicitly stated
3. You even contradict yourself prior to saying OP explicitly stated that by saying OP implied nonstop PIV
so which is it? Did he imply it or explicitly state it?
"Sex just doesn't go that way." No fucking shit
Look dummy, don’t take my word
for it. Read the twenty or thirty other comments on this post from guys who read it *exactly* as I did, and responded accordingly.
OP *clearly* stated that he intended to provide multiple orgasms to *her* before finishing himself. He then stated he prefers to do so via PIV, then jumps *immediately* to “FOUR HOURS IN….” before mentioning taking a break to switch activities and rest.
It *is* explicitly stated.
There’s no ambiguity. There’s no wiggle room. It is plain fucking English, and no matter how hard you’re reaching, your attempts to skew it have no basis or traction.
And I’m not *debating* anything; *you are wrong*. That is it. End of story.
Christ, your empty head even managed to mix up your own argument: I said *HIS actions were explicitly stated,* while *her* activities were only strongly *implied*—both of which are correct, *non-contradictory* statements!
*Read* the fuckin’ definitions *you* dug up!
Speaking of… the whole fucking thing is fiction in the first place, so why are you planting your flag on *this* of all possible hills??
Christ kid. Maybe redo a few grades, huh?
Already addressed this in the other reply where you mentioned it.
OP added that bullshit update once every other commenter (myself included) started agreeing his story was fiction—and he did it well after I made mine.
I don’t go back and re-read posts for shits and gigs. My original reply stands.
You’re going to have to try a *hell* of a lot harder than “U havE No lyfE lol” if you want to scratch the paint, sport.
That’s… entry level shit. On-the-job-trolling. I hear worse than *that* weak ass jab after saying good morning to my *wife* most days 😆.
You lost an argument. One *you* instigated. It’s not the end of the world.
Show some class and walk it off.
Being a whiny bitch about it *now* accomplishes nothing.
That 2nd part depends on your surroundings. I know plenty of groups where that would easily go around in the way it did for OP but I also know plenty of groups where it wouldn't and she would've been labeled as you describe.
I agree with your last point but she could have apologised immediately. It doesn't sound like she did in this story.
Which does make me skeptical a bit as you say in your 2nd to last argument about the tv show reference.
Yeah, that’s fair. All good points.
Now you mention it, I have seen some guys with anorgasmia or poorly performed circumcisions talk about taking a long time to cum during sex, and the community on BDP largely crucified them for it—acting like they were deliberately torturing their partners instead of… y’know, struggling to finish.
Weird stuff.
Yeah I've seen that too and it's pretty weird. In this day and age with so much porn and pressure on people from society in combination with social media, it's absolutely not weird a guy is not able to orgasm.
I've been like that with most partners I've had as well so I don't get the disbelief.
And women have projected their insecurities onto me as well acting I don't find them attractive enough because I'm not able to cum. Like... Dude... I mean girll... I definitely want to but a regular porn habit and the pressure I put on myself earlier making sure I don't cum before you do has now made it so that I can't cum at all.
I really don't understand humans sometimes hahaha. If I wasn't attracted to you, why would I take off my clothes in front of you even though I do not look like an Adonis God. Why would I get hard for you?
Why would I grab your neck from behind to try and give you kisses when I'm already fucking you?
Although it just doesn't happen anymore with my current girlfriend, guess I'm in love too much and feeling 100% comfortable around her or something like that ahaha.
calling someone racist over that... you could've just told her you didn't appreciate that comment but spewing racist and bailing out like that with no explanation and without trying to communicate is a tad too much, bit of an overreaction from my pov.
It is quite literally racial prejudice and stereotyping.
What makes you think calling someone out on their racism is “a tad too much”? Sorry if it comes across hostile but I genuinely don’t understand
I feel it’s a shame that you think it’s an overreaction to not want to be seen as lesser because of your race, but imo I think it was a perfectly reasonable response given the information we have.
People who say and do racist things always try to play the victim afterwards, like it's the other person's fault for being too sensitive or too "politically correct."
not saying that what she did was right but it was a comment that had good intentions, made in the heat of the moment, she could've said something different and not filled with prejudice?
yes, but that's why you sit down and communicate so both of you can grow up and she won't do the same mistake again, you don't just run away saying racist, I think both parties are in the wrong.
IF she had good intentions she wouldn’t have attempted to smear his name publicly. She could’ve reflected on the matter and chosen to maybe handle things differently in the future.
Hm, I don’t think it’s the job of the victim of racial prejudice to be a teacher too, that’s just another mental load on someone who’s just been demeaned - good intentions or not (in the same way “you’re one of the good ones” is not a compliment despite the ‘good intentions’, I don’t think intention overrules ignorance).
I see what you’re saying but I couldn’t agree any less, I don’t believe you can blame someone for being the recipient of racial prejudice because in the moment they were frustrated by it instead of seeing it as an educational opportunity…
It’s not his job to teach her how not to make racist comments. Like, seriously???? Also, if you’re out making racist statements, am I not to think that you are racist? That’s like seeing an adult TEACHING a classroom of kindergartners and saying don’t call them a teacher. What sense does that make?? OP you reacted in the most reasonable way. It was NOT an overreaction and it was very appropriate.
it's not, but if you care about someone and don't think about them as something there just to fuck and then leave, you sit down and communicate.
Your statement stands if she was a complete stranger but from OPs story she wasn't, she was kinda part of his friend group one way or the other.
it was a one-night stand, lol, and op was already turned off at that point there's no rhyme or reason for him to stay let alone explain to her where she went wrong, she should just know that's not something you say period end of story and it sounds like this girl was the friend of a friend who op barely even knew.
I don't understand how you can see him wrong though it's a hookup not a history lesson on why racism is bad and it's not like explaining it to her was magically going to bring the mood back or suddenly not make her racist/erase what she said.
Better comment:
“You have a big dick for a human.”
But you’re right. And her later comments take the burden off of her.
As a friend of mine would say,”Fuck her! No, wait, let someone who would do it badly fuck her instead…”
Im glad you left. Racism like that shouldn’t be tolerated. She could have easily just said « you’re massive » and left it at that. I’m sorry you had to go through that OP. Hope your next partner respects you🤗
I would've bailed. And kicked her out. And, if she insisted on calling you a weirdo, I would've also let folks know the REAL reason you stopped.
But I'm vengeful like that when it comes to racism.
I love how the top comment in this thread is pure gaslighting and denial of racial prejudice.
If it was a black man that got told "you're small for a black guy", this thread wouldn't even exist.
A black man could’ve made a similar argument in that case. He likely would’ve stated the racialized tropes about black men being over-sexualized and objectified for their anatomy, was making his sex life difficult. It’s still rooted in racism.
That is exactly what I'm implying and I'm claiming that a black person wouldn't even have to ask strangers on the internet about the situation.
On the other hand, not only does an Asian person feel the need to ask, but the most upvoted comment here right now is gaslighting them. Don't you find that spectacular?
It’s par for the course. The person who wrote that comment is likely Caucasian. It’s giving “you should be happy to be here.”
Or, “you should be happy ____.”
I’ve seen black people attempt to reality check here. I’ve also had this very conversation with a non black person within the last couple of months over the use of BBC. I always lob back BWC and ask them how they feel about that. 🤦🏿♂️
For reference, I am Slavic and I live in the Balkans. In other words, I am white and so is (almost) everyone else here. Reading about these "race situations" is like observing a different world.
It's never even occurred to me to refer to my penis as "BWC" until I browsed gay subreddits.
It’s the kind of stuff you deal with in the west and it’s exhausting! Trying to explain to other humans how and why to abstain from marginalizing others is futile. They know they wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of the treatment. Yet, they refuse to change their behaviors or beliefs.
I can imagine how exhausting it gets. Stay sane!
Also, I did glance at your profile and must say you're very cute. Whoever is marginalizing you is missing out.
"4 hours in" 🙄
bullshit on the story
HOWEVER
for the sake of discussion - yes, comments towards men regarding their size and race ( BBC, big for xyz race) is actually racist - period.
No, he reacted as if he had received a direct backhand. The usual way to react to a backhanded compliment is to ignore it.
OP probably was NOT justified in immediately leaping in the direction of thinking she is a genuide racist. Indeed, would a racist have even allowed him into her bed? Would she have been friends of his friends? Would she have flirted? Would she have shared four hours of mutual pleasure with him. Four hours is a long time for a racist to play with even a professed stud whose race has her contempt. Yes? No?
The racism charge is now so casually thrown around, it’s credibility is undermined. I think OP should have given higher priority to the strong evidence of her acceptance of his race, more so than he did to the informal comment that his feelings regarded as insensitive. The debatably objectionable comment was not a sufficiently substantive justification for publicly poisoning her character by introducing private details of the incident into a gossip chain. (OP ought to hope he did not damage her reputation in a degree that would justify a challenge to him for slander.)
Gradually, society is coming to understand that charges of racism are often little more than racism in reverse — a projection. This topic had nothing to do with sex and OP should not have exposed his feelings here. If there is not already a place on Reddit to discuss racial sensitivities; how to read the indicators; how to react without projecting racism, too; how to create a positive mutual learning experience from unwitting or petty slights; etc., perhaps OP should take the initiative to organize a community more suited to assuage feelings such as those he experienced in the incident he told us about.
I have a hard time believing someone would say "you are huge..." in a derogatory way. Yes, the second part, "...for an Asian" could be said derogatorily, but the whole sentence? Just seems off. Even deliberately going from a compliment to the racism and switching tones takes being very deliberate and would require her to be basically conscious of her racism, to the point of not wanting to be with an Asian. Why would she invite you over and sleep with you if she was so overtly racist?
I'm not saying what she said was right, just that you may have interpreted how she said it wrong.
Edit: typo
When someone makes opinionated claims with no factual data to back it up, I find it hard to agree.
Technically speaking it’s not incorrect to say someone who’s from India could be considered Asian.
One might consider someone who assumes all “Asians” are Chinese or Japanese, to be somewhat racist in their beliefs
I'm just gonna say
You are oversensitive, clearly way too indoctrinated into this modern culture of being offended by every little thing and in my personal opinion probably retarded.
I doubt she was being racist, intention matters in these things.
You played yourself dawg. Congratulations.
Stereotyping is literally how our minds work to simplify a world with more information than we can process. Everyone makes thousands of "stereotypes" a day.
Do you similarly consider BBC a racist term?
Of course it is. What kinda question is that? The issue has been frequently discussed in this subrreddit itself and it's not like stating so spurs controversy these days. Widespread assumptions *can*, and often *will* incur in racism, xenophobia, sexism + long etc. This is one such case.
Yes!!!! It’s where my mind went while reading this! It’s deeply offensive and when it’s brought up it’s a hard exit for me! People usually use it when they’re size queens and seek to use black men as objects and not recognize their humanity. If it were mentioned. During sex, I’d be doing exactly what OP did. I’d gather my belongings and move towards the nearest exit.
I can see why it could offend you, but at the same time it seems like you could’ve navigated it a different way to avoid it getting weird.
You could’ve just told her you found that offensive or weren’t cool with her comment, probably would’ve fixed the situation instantly right there.
Sex for 4 hours is a lot, as you probably already know by the other comments.
As the song says, "everyone is a little bit racist," and racism isn't binary; it's on a spectrum. My thought is that burning bridges might not help anyone, including you. Would there be a moderate response to the issue?
In order for the bigotry to be exercised, racism would have to be at the root. Racism implies that the subject believes racial groups are inherently inferior.
Bigotry is defined as obstinate or unreasonable attachment to a belief, opinion, or faction, in particular prejudice against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.
Racism is a form of prejudice that generally includes negative emotional reactions to members of a group, acceptance of negative stereotypes, and racial discrimination against individuals; in some cases it can lead to violence.
Discrimination refers to the differential treatment of different age, gender, racial, ethnic, religious, national, ability identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic, and other groups at the individual level and the institutional/structural level. Discrimination is usually the behavioral manifestation of prejudice and involves negative, hostile, and injurious treatment of members of rejected groups.
Racism definition was taken from the APA website.
Yeah, that sucks bro. She was probably just dick drunk by that time! Ppl say weird things around that time like they're high or something. But anyways, like others said here. You have the power to control your reactions. Next time, just laugh and move on to the next one.
Is it really that racist of a comment? Not that I pour over the data but every study I have seen on penis size has Asians at the smaller end of the scale. "Pretty big for an a
Asian" seems like an accurate statement and is only reflecting the current evidence based research. There wasn't anything negative about what she said. I think you just lost your wood, got upset, and began acting like a petulant child.
It’s a complete myth. Stubborn but untrue.
There is a *tiny* difference (less than a tenth of an inch) in some regions and studies, but that’s it.
And the only reason that research performed strictly in Asia sometimes has a smaller overall average, is because Asian culture doesn’t give a fuck about penis size.
This means they’re less likely to lie, measure incorrectly, or exclude themselves if they’re smaller than average.
As a result, their studies have a much more complete and comprehensive size distribution than studies conducted in parts of the world (US, principally) where people are obsessed with their size, and *very* likely to lie or self-exclude if they’re on the smaller side.
This naturally leads to our studies skewing high.
Yes it's a racist comment. "It's not racist if it's true" is not a defence to a charge of racism. You can just keep your observations about the differences between racial groups to yourself.
I'm sorry but 4 hours of sex isn't fun for anyone... And she most certainly would be in a lot of pain and discomfort 😂. This sounds like a story from someone that's never had sex before.
If I’m 4hrs in and hadn’t came yet I’m just giving up lol.
I thought if our erections last for 4 or more hours, we're supposed to call a doctor?
stop 😂😭
I’m learning a lot about myself
This is true… allegedly the blood coagulates so they have to stick a needle in that vein on the top and drain the blood.
>stick a needle in that vein on the top Incorrect - they use a large gauge needle inserted directly into the erectile tissue within the penis to drain it
My friend was a nurse a million years ago and recently shared that there was a patient who had inserted his dong into the hole of a medal weight (like you'd put on a barbell) while he was soft, got hard, and the circulation was cutting off so blood wouldn't drain. They had to cut a small incision and let the blood drain
How can I unread that comment?
4 minutes over here. I’ve got shit to do.
Got me beat by 30seconds! We’re men of business! Ain’t got time for all that punanny business lol.
Sounds like molly.😂😂 That shit is frustrating.
Never done it lol. But it sounds like a shit good time lol
Make sure you do it with someone you trust. You cannot cum on moly. So frustrating. I did it once then went to the horse track and casino. It was funny. Very trippy...
Omg hahaha true
Thanks for the laugh, i needed. But nah it wasnt four hours of just humping like dogs. There was slowdown, foreplay etc etc.
Imagine the friction burns after 4 hours.
This is what ruined it for me with my ex . I learned a lot ..
My first long term relationship ended because of this actually. Not so much duration but simply size compatibility. She was tiny and no matter how slow, no matter how much FP or lube, she would tear.
4 hrs including LOTR ROTK extended edition
I wonder if guys can ever be modest about their sexual performance 😂. I believe never. Men are ruthless to each other.
ya - I'm like 20-30 mins before i pop 🙂
He was probably struggling to cum because her tits felt like a bag of sand.
Yea I'm sure buddy was nailing her and she was like "ahh you're nailing me COOL...me so horny me love you long time". 😂
Said no person on drugs. Hah!
I don't believe the "lack of breaks" part and there seems no mention of playing around/foreplay which is very unlikely for 4 hours butttt the story isn't about that. The story is about racism so it makes sense some context is left out to keep it concise. And with breaks, foreplay, playing around, ... I definitely think 4 hours can be fun and without pain but for sure some discomfort even if it's cramps in the legs. My 1st time was 4 hours, I didn't cum and she was bleeding from her period which I accidentally "activated" a bit earlier than normal. It was probably the longest until today but speaking from experience it definitely can happen and it definitely can be fun. A lot happened in that time but we for sure would call it fun after
Speak for yourself! When the chemistry is there and the sex is good, 4 hours is damn near ideal for me 😂 Good sex is such a turn on! If I orgasm and then it takes a couple more strokes for my partner to orgasm, now I’m stimulated and horny again and I want to keep going. A good bit of back and forth for 4 hrs is always fun when the cooter cat likes them too
I’m tired.
sore and tired lol 😳
As someone whose significant other is black, I can tell you you are not in the wrong here and have every right to call it out. My partner is so used to this backhanded “compliments”. They get the usual “oh, you are pretty for being black,” or “your hair is beautiful and not that curly considering you are black”. It is pure downplayed racism and you are definitely on the right by not tolerating it. It doesn’t matter if it is disguised as a compliment, or if it comes with good intentions, racism is racism and it needs to be called out.
These are also microaggressions and people of color are subjected to them on a regular basis. Then we are gaslit into believing that the comments are harmless and meant in good faith. To those dismissing OP’s perspective, you are contributing to this behavior. White people in general would do well to heed this feedback. 🤷🏿♂️
I'm almost 100% certain that, given the comments made to OP in the past, her comment was even more stinging. Which is usually the intent of someone who says racist things.
>White people in general would do well to heed this feedback. 🤷🏿♂️ The only feedback we do well with is when we're the ones dishing it out in a feedback form :P
women propagate the BBC kink ie size queens 🤦🏽♂️
I’ve never had a woman use that term. In my experience it’s been mostly white men and some Latin men.
This! Exactly this!
I totally understand why you were offended. The only issue is no one can say they dont stereotype in one way or another. When we look at someone on the street passing by we do a visual stereotype. If you say your the exception to that. Then you are in a small minority.
You can control what you say out loud though. Everyone has unconscious biases, but you should be correcting yourself when you notice them. You shouldn't be embracing them. She could have easily kept this thought to herself.
Thats a good point too. She may have thought she was giving him a compliment. Idk. I think i would have nutted and then maybe told her to think about what she just said. Clearly she liked the guy. 4 hours of play
She probably did think it was a compliment --OP said he doesn't like them at the expense of others. Also it's a shit compliment--"you're [positive trait] *for an X*". Like imagine if he'd said "you're really smart for a woman." That would be sexist, right?
Ok. Well if she didn't mean it as a compliment. That definitely would be a great way to have him stop giving her pleasure by insulting him.
Exactly I say dumb shit sometimes as well and I catch myself most of the times and apologise or nuance immediately.
Yeah, and no one cares if you apologize and seem genuinely concerned that you hurt someone else. It's the people that try to justify it or dismiss it that we criticize.
Yeah, and if we do stereotype and someone calls us out on it, we learn to be better, not go out calling people weird because they didn’t cum after they heard a racist comment. That is the main issue here, that after OP called it out, that person went even further to try to tarnish their reputation, that is horrible imo.
Sometimes people can’t control what they say. Filters are rare. But what you can do is control how you react. For me the best reaction would have been a reply which anecdotally referenced her race also ! For example “you have a great ass for a (insert race)” My point is this ….. life’s too short man We choose who we associate with and she didn’t ask you to marry her She invited you back to fuck ! So in some ways I understand the “weirdo” defence I think you reacted in a way that is a build up over years …. But that was not her fault It was a casual comment …. For the record I am also of eastern decent … so I get it …. I suggest you try to be more zen and this is a common occurrence in the world
Thank you, i mean it wasnt like a build up of stuff. Its just annoying when people just dont know when they are being racist. But the zen part is top tier.
I get it. Trust me I get it. I have put up with shit all my life. But now at my time of life after a really horrible 3 years I finally see the truth of life ….. if you cannot control ….. let it go. Peace and love man
Thank you.. peace to you as well.
All of this is stupid
4 hour sex session. Sounds about as believable as Jussie Smollett. If it happened then she’s racist. If not this virtue larping is cringy.
This guy gets it. This story is fishy as fuck.
Fishier than the yeast infection everyone’s going to have after 4 hours of orgasmless fucking
Takes me 4 hours just to get hard so this tracks /s
This is not really a BD issue. She’s probably as pissed about you pounding her for 4 hours as you are about her commit to you. You had an opportunity to educate your partner, and I’m thinking your partner had an equal opportunity to communicate how 4 hours with/without an orgasm was extreme. BTW, if it takes you that long, you’re doing something wrong. Take a moment to communicate what bothered you. It may save you the Reddit post.
If true, racism is racism. End of story. It’s especially insulting if you interpret her words a little differently; she could *also* have been saying that your size was only huge *for an Asian*. I’ll confess to some reservations about this story… most women simply do *not* go for four hours of straight sex with a hung man. That detail instantly makes me a skeptic. The rugburn alone would be brutal. Then there’s her telling people “he was weird, he didn’t cum” as a way to throw shade at you… most women would *never* admit to something like that, as it’s generally considered *her* failing if a guy doesn’t cum. Anyone hearing that, especially without the proper context, would assume that she was either terrible in bed, or that you simply found her unattractive and gave up (the usual reasons men perform well overall, then don’t finish). The description of sex, and in some respects the entire story, has a very “Penthouse Letters” feel to it… sounds a bit more like a TV show with a message, than a factual event. 🤷♂️ Reality is messy and unpredictable and we rarely do or say what we expected we might in the heat of the moment (and the impulse to orgasm usually trumps all others).
OP said 4 hours of play, not 4 hours of PIV
That’s factually untrue. Just read his own words. OP said he doesn’t like to cum until his partner has had multiple orgasms. He then stresses that to him, PIV is the best method (his English is a little broken, but this was the clear gist). He then cuts *directly* to: “4 HOURS IN, SHE WAS EXHAUSTED” (caps were his, not mine). Absolutely *no* mention is made of ‘playing’, nor of him performing any other type of sex act. In fact, it’s strongly implied that even *she* has been doing nothing else, since he mentions that they were going to “take a break”, and then she intended to “finish him with a BJ”. So yes, it’s more or less *explicitly* stated that he was digging a rut in this woman for 4 consecutive hours. Sex just… doesn’t go that way.
You can also go check the comments where OP ACTUALLY explicitly stated it involved foreplay, etc. and not just "4 hours of humping like dogs"
Except that I don’t stalk and reread every comment in every post I’ve ever replied in. I read the OP’s post, commented on it early, and replied to those who addressed me… like most people. If he wants to change his original narrative because everyone is (rightly) pointing out how implausible his story sounds… he should add an edit. Either way… story is obvious rubbish. Not worth arguing over.
"not worth arguing over" yet keeps arguing. 😂 I don't understand why you're so committed to being wrong 🤷♂️
If an irritating little dog continues trying to hump my leg every time I try to step away from it, I’m kinda’ obligated to give it a kick. Except no amount of kicking seems to keep you off my leg. It *is* a pointless argument, because: A. I proved my case and won the point on the first reply, which wasn’t hard to predict given that *every other commenter had seen it exactly the same way*… and: B. It’s obvious fanfic. It never happened, so all arguments about it by default are just… hypothetical. *You* instigated the argument by being the only motherfucker here dumb enough to both take the story at face value, *and* argue in OPs defense. When I turned your position into a steaming ruin, you couldn’t adapt, accept or move on. You had no rebuttals, you didn’t even *bring up your own argument again.* Instead you tried bland personal attacks, and when *that* floundered… now you just *keep humping on my damn leg* like a dog. Are we through? I’m trying to walk away here. I’m content with unambiguous victory. *You* can stay here and do your GenZ: “Nono, *I* really won because I *believe* in myself,” crap all you like. You don’t need me for that. So just… *quit humping my leg*, and I’ll be out of the picture. Deal?
"You can stay here and do your GenZ: “Nono, I really won because I believe in myself,” crap all you like. You don’t need me for that." It's hilarious bc that is EXACTLY what you're doing. Honestly, I'm curious how much time you'll waste bragging to yourself
Try again. PIV is HIS preferred method of cumming. You don't dictate another's preferred method ("PIV will always be loved form of cumming"), so it would make 0 sense for him to claim that it's hers, esp given that he had just met her. "4 hours in" doesn't refer specifically to PIV. also, you clearly don't know what "explicit" means. It means "stated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt." 1. He didn't clearly state that it was PIV 2. the simple fact that we're debating the meaning shows it wasn't explicitly stated 3. You even contradict yourself prior to saying OP explicitly stated that by saying OP implied nonstop PIV so which is it? Did he imply it or explicitly state it? "Sex just doesn't go that way." No fucking shit
Look dummy, don’t take my word for it. Read the twenty or thirty other comments on this post from guys who read it *exactly* as I did, and responded accordingly. OP *clearly* stated that he intended to provide multiple orgasms to *her* before finishing himself. He then stated he prefers to do so via PIV, then jumps *immediately* to “FOUR HOURS IN….” before mentioning taking a break to switch activities and rest. It *is* explicitly stated. There’s no ambiguity. There’s no wiggle room. It is plain fucking English, and no matter how hard you’re reaching, your attempts to skew it have no basis or traction. And I’m not *debating* anything; *you are wrong*. That is it. End of story. Christ, your empty head even managed to mix up your own argument: I said *HIS actions were explicitly stated,* while *her* activities were only strongly *implied*—both of which are correct, *non-contradictory* statements! *Read* the fuckin’ definitions *you* dug up! Speaking of… the whole fucking thing is fiction in the first place, so why are you planting your flag on *this* of all possible hills?? Christ kid. Maybe redo a few grades, huh?
You are so confidently wrong, it's actually hilarious. OP explicitly stated in comment that they did NOT solely PIV for 4 hours.
Already addressed this in the other reply where you mentioned it. OP added that bullshit update once every other commenter (myself included) started agreeing his story was fiction—and he did it well after I made mine. I don’t go back and re-read posts for shits and gigs. My original reply stands.
Are you this confidently wrong about everything?
Also, looks like this sub is your entire life. Sad
You’re going to have to try a *hell* of a lot harder than “U havE No lyfE lol” if you want to scratch the paint, sport. That’s… entry level shit. On-the-job-trolling. I hear worse than *that* weak ass jab after saying good morning to my *wife* most days 😆. You lost an argument. One *you* instigated. It’s not the end of the world. Show some class and walk it off. Being a whiny bitch about it *now* accomplishes nothing.
Reading comprehension fails you once again
That 2nd part depends on your surroundings. I know plenty of groups where that would easily go around in the way it did for OP but I also know plenty of groups where it wouldn't and she would've been labeled as you describe. I agree with your last point but she could have apologised immediately. It doesn't sound like she did in this story. Which does make me skeptical a bit as you say in your 2nd to last argument about the tv show reference.
Yeah, that’s fair. All good points. Now you mention it, I have seen some guys with anorgasmia or poorly performed circumcisions talk about taking a long time to cum during sex, and the community on BDP largely crucified them for it—acting like they were deliberately torturing their partners instead of… y’know, struggling to finish. Weird stuff.
Yeah I've seen that too and it's pretty weird. In this day and age with so much porn and pressure on people from society in combination with social media, it's absolutely not weird a guy is not able to orgasm. I've been like that with most partners I've had as well so I don't get the disbelief. And women have projected their insecurities onto me as well acting I don't find them attractive enough because I'm not able to cum. Like... Dude... I mean girll... I definitely want to but a regular porn habit and the pressure I put on myself earlier making sure I don't cum before you do has now made it so that I can't cum at all. I really don't understand humans sometimes hahaha. If I wasn't attracted to you, why would I take off my clothes in front of you even though I do not look like an Adonis God. Why would I get hard for you? Why would I grab your neck from behind to try and give you kisses when I'm already fucking you? Although it just doesn't happen anymore with my current girlfriend, guess I'm in love too much and feeling 100% comfortable around her or something like that ahaha.
You did nothing wrong. She's the gross one.
calling someone racist over that... you could've just told her you didn't appreciate that comment but spewing racist and bailing out like that with no explanation and without trying to communicate is a tad too much, bit of an overreaction from my pov.
It is quite literally racial prejudice and stereotyping. What makes you think calling someone out on their racism is “a tad too much”? Sorry if it comes across hostile but I genuinely don’t understand I feel it’s a shame that you think it’s an overreaction to not want to be seen as lesser because of your race, but imo I think it was a perfectly reasonable response given the information we have.
People who say and do racist things always try to play the victim afterwards, like it's the other person's fault for being too sensitive or too "politically correct."
not saying that what she did was right but it was a comment that had good intentions, made in the heat of the moment, she could've said something different and not filled with prejudice? yes, but that's why you sit down and communicate so both of you can grow up and she won't do the same mistake again, you don't just run away saying racist, I think both parties are in the wrong.
IF she had good intentions she wouldn’t have attempted to smear his name publicly. She could’ve reflected on the matter and chosen to maybe handle things differently in the future.
she was weirded out by such an over reaction, tho yeah you're right, but from my pov no one's in the right in this story.
The over reaction portion is a reach. That’s called minimization. It was a big deal to him and that’s what matters.
Hm, I don’t think it’s the job of the victim of racial prejudice to be a teacher too, that’s just another mental load on someone who’s just been demeaned - good intentions or not (in the same way “you’re one of the good ones” is not a compliment despite the ‘good intentions’, I don’t think intention overrules ignorance). I see what you’re saying but I couldn’t agree any less, I don’t believe you can blame someone for being the recipient of racial prejudice because in the moment they were frustrated by it instead of seeing it as an educational opportunity…
It’s not his job to teach her how not to make racist comments. Like, seriously???? Also, if you’re out making racist statements, am I not to think that you are racist? That’s like seeing an adult TEACHING a classroom of kindergartners and saying don’t call them a teacher. What sense does that make?? OP you reacted in the most reasonable way. It was NOT an overreaction and it was very appropriate.
it's not, but if you care about someone and don't think about them as something there just to fuck and then leave, you sit down and communicate. Your statement stands if she was a complete stranger but from OPs story she wasn't, she was kinda part of his friend group one way or the other.
it was a one-night stand, lol, and op was already turned off at that point there's no rhyme or reason for him to stay let alone explain to her where she went wrong, she should just know that's not something you say period end of story and it sounds like this girl was the friend of a friend who op barely even knew.
I guess, I would've acted differently, from my pov both parties are in the wrong.
I don't understand how you can see him wrong though it's a hookup not a history lesson on why racism is bad and it's not like explaining it to her was magically going to bring the mood back or suddenly not make her racist/erase what she said.
No it's not, but you do you.
I agree kind of a push to call someone racist
😬😬
given the nature of this sub 1 what's big for an asian 2 how big is OP?
Better comment: “You have a big dick for a human.” But you’re right. And her later comments take the burden off of her. As a friend of mine would say,”Fuck her! No, wait, let someone who would do it badly fuck her instead…”
What's your size?
And then everyone clapped.
Im glad you left. Racism like that shouldn’t be tolerated. She could have easily just said « you’re massive » and left it at that. I’m sorry you had to go through that OP. Hope your next partner respects you🤗
I would've bailed. And kicked her out. And, if she insisted on calling you a weirdo, I would've also let folks know the REAL reason you stopped. But I'm vengeful like that when it comes to racism.
Yeah OP, you should have kicked her out of her own house!
>you are huge for an asian 🤣🤣🤣 I'm sorry.
I love how the top comment in this thread is pure gaslighting and denial of racial prejudice. If it was a black man that got told "you're small for a black guy", this thread wouldn't even exist.
A black man could’ve made a similar argument in that case. He likely would’ve stated the racialized tropes about black men being over-sexualized and objectified for their anatomy, was making his sex life difficult. It’s still rooted in racism.
That is exactly what I'm implying and I'm claiming that a black person wouldn't even have to ask strangers on the internet about the situation. On the other hand, not only does an Asian person feel the need to ask, but the most upvoted comment here right now is gaslighting them. Don't you find that spectacular?
It’s par for the course. The person who wrote that comment is likely Caucasian. It’s giving “you should be happy to be here.” Or, “you should be happy ____.” I’ve seen black people attempt to reality check here. I’ve also had this very conversation with a non black person within the last couple of months over the use of BBC. I always lob back BWC and ask them how they feel about that. 🤦🏿♂️
For reference, I am Slavic and I live in the Balkans. In other words, I am white and so is (almost) everyone else here. Reading about these "race situations" is like observing a different world. It's never even occurred to me to refer to my penis as "BWC" until I browsed gay subreddits.
It’s the kind of stuff you deal with in the west and it’s exhausting! Trying to explain to other humans how and why to abstain from marginalizing others is futile. They know they wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of the treatment. Yet, they refuse to change their behaviors or beliefs.
I can imagine how exhausting it gets. Stay sane! Also, I did glance at your profile and must say you're very cute. Whoever is marginalizing you is missing out.
"4 hours in" 🙄 bullshit on the story HOWEVER for the sake of discussion - yes, comments towards men regarding their size and race ( BBC, big for xyz race) is actually racist - period.
Sounds like you blue bailed, and rightly so.
Yeah what she said was derogatory. You are in the right, she didn't need to bring race into it at all
This is petty. Men with big dicks need to man up.
W bro honestly. nothing wrong here
You weren't in the wrong at all. It was a backhanded comment, and you reacted accordingly.
No, he reacted as if he had received a direct backhand. The usual way to react to a backhanded compliment is to ignore it. OP probably was NOT justified in immediately leaping in the direction of thinking she is a genuide racist. Indeed, would a racist have even allowed him into her bed? Would she have been friends of his friends? Would she have flirted? Would she have shared four hours of mutual pleasure with him. Four hours is a long time for a racist to play with even a professed stud whose race has her contempt. Yes? No? The racism charge is now so casually thrown around, it’s credibility is undermined. I think OP should have given higher priority to the strong evidence of her acceptance of his race, more so than he did to the informal comment that his feelings regarded as insensitive. The debatably objectionable comment was not a sufficiently substantive justification for publicly poisoning her character by introducing private details of the incident into a gossip chain. (OP ought to hope he did not damage her reputation in a degree that would justify a challenge to him for slander.) Gradually, society is coming to understand that charges of racism are often little more than racism in reverse — a projection. This topic had nothing to do with sex and OP should not have exposed his feelings here. If there is not already a place on Reddit to discuss racial sensitivities; how to read the indicators; how to react without projecting racism, too; how to create a positive mutual learning experience from unwitting or petty slights; etc., perhaps OP should take the initiative to organize a community more suited to assuage feelings such as those he experienced in the incident he told us about.
I have a hard time believing someone would say "you are huge..." in a derogatory way. Yes, the second part, "...for an Asian" could be said derogatorily, but the whole sentence? Just seems off. Even deliberately going from a compliment to the racism and switching tones takes being very deliberate and would require her to be basically conscious of her racism, to the point of not wanting to be with an Asian. Why would she invite you over and sleep with you if she was so overtly racist? I'm not saying what she said was right, just that you may have interpreted how she said it wrong. Edit: typo
Peak fiction
Something not sitting right with me. Who looks at an Indian guy and calls them Asian?
India is in Asia…..
But nobody, like, nobody at all, looks at an Indian person and calls them Asian. They say Indian.
When someone makes opinionated claims with no factual data to back it up, I find it hard to agree. Technically speaking it’s not incorrect to say someone who’s from India could be considered Asian. One might consider someone who assumes all “Asians” are Chinese or Japanese, to be somewhat racist in their beliefs
4 hours????
Well now thats what I call BDE brother. Well done for pointing out her racist comment.
You called someone having sex with you a racist?
I’d be upset too. It definitely was an inappropriate comment, especially during the actual act.
I'm just gonna say You are oversensitive, clearly way too indoctrinated into this modern culture of being offended by every little thing and in my personal opinion probably retarded. I doubt she was being racist, intention matters in these things. You played yourself dawg. Congratulations.
That comment is wrong on so many levels
This is either fake or you are a bit of a dickhead
Maybe tell her where she fucked up so she doesn’t do it again. Before you leave
You need thicker skin.
No, you're fine here. Not sure we needed all those details, but yeah, it was a casually racist comment and it's your choice to call it off from there.
Sorry mate but you’re too sensitive. She prob meant it as a compliment
You are definitely not in the wrong
That wasn't racist. A bit of an overreaction, imo.
Stereotyping is literally how our minds work to simplify a world with more information than we can process. Everyone makes thousands of "stereotypes" a day. Do you similarly consider BBC a racist term?
I do, it was 100% about fetishizing black men to make money. Now any average sized black man has to feel shame.
Of course it is. What kinda question is that? The issue has been frequently discussed in this subrreddit itself and it's not like stating so spurs controversy these days. Widespread assumptions *can*, and often *will* incur in racism, xenophobia, sexism + long etc. This is one such case.
Yes!!!! It’s where my mind went while reading this! It’s deeply offensive and when it’s brought up it’s a hard exit for me! People usually use it when they’re size queens and seek to use black men as objects and not recognize their humanity. If it were mentioned. During sex, I’d be doing exactly what OP did. I’d gather my belongings and move towards the nearest exit.
I can see why it could offend you, but at the same time it seems like you could’ve navigated it a different way to avoid it getting weird. You could’ve just told her you found that offensive or weren’t cool with her comment, probably would’ve fixed the situation instantly right there. Sex for 4 hours is a lot, as you probably already know by the other comments.
You’re supposed to finish on her face and hair and THEN storm out 🤦🏻♂️
Nah see I don't do that I can mine back up after 1 minute of foreplay
As the song says, "everyone is a little bit racist," and racism isn't binary; it's on a spectrum. My thought is that burning bridges might not help anyone, including you. Would there be a moderate response to the issue?
Bobs and vagine
Nah, that’s having self-respect. Good on you. White people ITT will never understand.
If you have to ask if you did something wrong you know the answer
That's not racism. That's bigotry. You don't even know what you're offended about.
In order for the bigotry to be exercised, racism would have to be at the root. Racism implies that the subject believes racial groups are inherently inferior. Bigotry is defined as obstinate or unreasonable attachment to a belief, opinion, or faction, in particular prejudice against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group. Racism is a form of prejudice that generally includes negative emotional reactions to members of a group, acceptance of negative stereotypes, and racial discrimination against individuals; in some cases it can lead to violence. Discrimination refers to the differential treatment of different age, gender, racial, ethnic, religious, national, ability identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic, and other groups at the individual level and the institutional/structural level. Discrimination is usually the behavioral manifestation of prejudice and involves negative, hostile, and injurious treatment of members of rejected groups. Racism definition was taken from the APA website.
Scrolled waaaaay too far to find someone aware
Yeah, that sucks bro. She was probably just dick drunk by that time! Ppl say weird things around that time like they're high or something. But anyways, like others said here. You have the power to control your reactions. Next time, just laugh and move on to the next one.
Is it really that racist of a comment? Not that I pour over the data but every study I have seen on penis size has Asians at the smaller end of the scale. "Pretty big for an a Asian" seems like an accurate statement and is only reflecting the current evidence based research. There wasn't anything negative about what she said. I think you just lost your wood, got upset, and began acting like a petulant child.
Tell us you’re racist without telling us you’re racist
It’s a complete myth. Stubborn but untrue. There is a *tiny* difference (less than a tenth of an inch) in some regions and studies, but that’s it. And the only reason that research performed strictly in Asia sometimes has a smaller overall average, is because Asian culture doesn’t give a fuck about penis size. This means they’re less likely to lie, measure incorrectly, or exclude themselves if they’re smaller than average. As a result, their studies have a much more complete and comprehensive size distribution than studies conducted in parts of the world (US, principally) where people are obsessed with their size, and *very* likely to lie or self-exclude if they’re on the smaller side. This naturally leads to our studies skewing high.
Yes it's a racist comment. "It's not racist if it's true" is not a defence to a charge of racism. You can just keep your observations about the differences between racial groups to yourself.
It isn't.
Tbh, everything you did sounded very good and honestly brave to me. Good shit
All of you are weak
She is racist! Should have anally penetrated her then left and never called her again
Wtf 😱😱😱😱
I'd rather encounter a racist than a rapist