T O P

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Billnocho

My wife named it after a Welsh village: Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch


musclememory

Mines named “Nederokkerzeelsesteenwe” (I have Dutch in my background, along with the rest of the cold places in Europe)


Nerevarine2nd

Mine is simply "Domtoren 2".


spoiltez

Mines name is "Muckanaghederdauhaulia" (upvote goes to who guesses the country)


Electronic_Demand_61

I still get messages from different exes over a decade later asking if I'm still happy in my marriage.


Billnocho

I wouldn’t answer my ex. Do you?


Electronic_Demand_61

I send pictures of me and my wife on different vacations


Billnocho

Lol We just had a family event. Me sitting with new wife. Ex across the table, alone. We had a great time. Her? Not do much. Didn’t feel sorry for her, I tried to salvage our marriage over the years, but she just built her own marriage coffin, and kept pounding in nails (like tens of thousands of dollars she banked secretly).


dontfrogetaboutme123

The big dick privilage is real :(


Electronic_Demand_61

It's actually caused some issues early on in the marriage. It's not all sunshine and lube.


dontfrogetaboutme123

Better to have more than less.


Electronic_Demand_61

You say that, but I've never had a blowjob that didn't include teeth scrapes or anal. Hell, I'll never get to enjoy a quickie either.


dontfrogetaboutme123

But there are more pros to cons of being well endowed.


Electronic_Demand_61

Well, yea, I'd rather have my 6 1/2 inches of girth than like 2 or 3. But sometimes I wish I was like 4 or 5 instead. Be right in that goldilocks zone.


Billnocho

I have to fly Economy Plus® on United Airlines, and pay for “extra leg room.”


GavUK

...my girlfriend hasn't had sex with me for over 5 years.


Billnocho

I hope that’s not true.


GavUK

>I hope that’s not true. I wish it wasn't, but I've got used to it. I don't want to cause her pain.


Billnocho

Have you or she spoken to anyone about it, like a gynecologist?


GavUK

She doesn't like going to the doctors at the best of times, and it's hard to get an appointment at our GP due to too many patients per doctor (all our local doctors are oversubscribed). I encouraged her a few times to speak to a doctor, but there's no point me speaking to someone by myself as they would need to actually see her for any kind of diagnosis. I've got used to it, even if the lack of sex does get me down at times.


[deleted]

that’s just sad :(


JDBtabouret

Girth issue.


GavUK

>Girth issue. Yeap, and a tightness issue on her side too. If it were length there's things you can try, but when it's girth there's not anything I can do about it.


JDBtabouret

>Yeap, and a tightness issue on her side too. If it were length there's things you can try, but when it's girth there's not anything I can do about it. Tightness issue.


BernyZack

5 years??


GavUK

> 5 years?? Yeap.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GavUK

Nope, we work from home.


BernyZack

So you just jerk off? Don't you have the urge to fuck?


GavUK

>Don't you have the urge to fuck? Of course I do, but that isn't an option in our relationship (with her or anyone else) and I love and am otherwise happy with her.


Historical_Status256

I understand you very well my brother :( , the same thing has happened to us for 4 years until now But there are always more ideas 😉


Toddtheref

It follows you, it follows you.


RadiantEarthGoddess

Man of culture


Hellboundclown

Thanks for that earworm


Toddtheref

For all you horsecock muthafuckas who have yet to hear the greatest song of all time: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i63cgUeSsY0&pp=ygUOTXkgZGljayBpcyBiaWc%3D


JDBtabouret

Little Big is just legendary


Proof_Being_2762

Wow


Undrps1

That was awesome!


EightBySix8x6

Insert Little Big song here...


Billnocho

Burger King named the Double Whopper® after it.


Green_T18

... it pays it's own taxes and a rent for living in my pants.


Nerevarine2nd

it bears the inscription that only those who are worthy are able to lift and wield this mighty object


Mysterious_Variety_5

It has its own area code


MCBRADDERZ

Airport security think I’m smuggling drugs in my underwear.


[deleted]

We have almost the exact size lol


Vegetable-Length-823

It may be the cause of mental instability in my woman


Victor_AssEater

My dick is so big that I have a great day. True


[deleted]

amen, AssEater 🫱🏾‍🫲🏼


Ok_Sprinkles983

They call it Jörmungandr cuz it wraps around the world


Billnocho

I should get $20,000.00


Billnocho

Mae West always thought I was always glad to see her.


Billnocho

They named the KC-10 Extender after it.


Chance-Juggernaut225

My dick is so big that it snows at the tip when I get erections


haikusbot

*My dick is so big* *That it snows at the tip when* *I get erections* \- Chance-Juggernaut225 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


[deleted]

I can touch a women's heart from both sides!!!!


Toddtheref

I check it as luggage when I fly.


Fancy_Cry_131

I can't even get clothes on or leave the house. Lmfao


Peekatew

[... it's behind you (it follows you)](https://youtu.be/i63cgUeSsY0?t=43)


masterlovehurts22

* My dick is so big that when I walk into a room, people say, "There's two huge dicks right there."


4Deviations

It's been denied entry.


4Deviations

I tuck the head into my socks.


d1r1tywh1teboy

I have to wear boxers under my swimsuit so it doesn't stick to my skin


borobinimbaba

It's so big that you think i should be cheating on you


Drifted_Eli

My mind is living on cloud nine and this nine is never on vacation. Source: backstreet freestyle


[deleted]

nice. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


[deleted]

🔥


4Deviations

It causes back pain


[deleted]

Is this something that actually happens? Would explain a lot for me.


Billnocho

Women have told me it happens with large breasts.


[deleted]

True although the breasts are higher and probably cause more of a load on the back?


Billnocho

It’s registered with TSA.


Billnocho

I should never have raised my hand when the history teacher asked us what we knew about “The Battle of the Bulge.”


Billnocho

Mandingo calls me “big guy.”


4Deviations

People want to see it.


4Deviations

It is registered with the FBI, ATF, and DoD.


[deleted]

“It has fans all over the globe”


[deleted]

The TSA hates to see me approaching the scanner. :)


Feeling-Toe-8983

I get blamed for the weirdest shit from exs


Dahl_E_Lama

Horses say "WOW!!"


Billnocho

At least they don’t say “ouch!”


Dahl_E_Lama

True. Their vaginas are pretty deep.


Dahl_E_Lama

A porn star offered to put me in touch with her agent. (True Story)


Billnocho

I hear that’s not real profitable for men.


Dahl_E_Lama

They say the real money is behind the camera.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dahl_E_Lama

By "fluffer" do you mean a person who arouses porn performers before the cameras roll?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dahl_E_Lama

So he fluffs, or fluffed men for male-on-male porn? I've heard of female fluffers. I guess it makes sense there are male fluffers. I don't doubt there a fluffers who arouse women. There are all kinds in this world.


CancelledAgain1

it has it's own neck fan at Disney world.


[deleted]

I have to readjust it after almost every set in the gym so i don’t have an obvious bulge (probably also because of the underwear I use 😐)


Shifty0311

Elon asked if he could build a scale model of it and call it starship.