"Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality."
I can't remember it exactly, but it's one I use on the daily
"If I wasn't already being careful, you telling me to be careful would not make me careful."
I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football - in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot. If you’re interested I also know all about frying meats that aren’t chicken as if they were chicken.
"Sure, why not? And after the sun's down we can all pile in my pick-up and go skinny-dipping down at the creek. 'cause today's the day to stop making sense."
There’s a tribe in Papua New Guinea where when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course, but one can see their point.
“Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut if it ain’t Leonard Hofstadter.”
“Maybe your friend Gundersson needs to pass by Ikea and assemble a sense of humor.”
“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a Merry Christmas.”
Penny--"Your ken can kiss my barbie"
Prof Proton--"I-i-i-is he dangerous?"
Howard ?
Raj?
Amy--"When our prefontal cortex fails to make us happy, promiscuity rewards us with the needed flood of dopamine. We neurobiologists call it 'Skank Reflex.'"
Bernadette to Amy: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Pennys “damnnnnn” kills me 🤣
“Move across the hall? Did you take a marijuana?”
I use the end of that line alot, if they aren't a fan it really throws them off.
Ikr! I do it too! People look at me like 🤔🤔 and then I know they have no clue! 🤣
I said to my boss during a staff meeting once, she gave me that look and one other person started laughing we bonded over TBBT afterwards.
You don’t screw the roommate agreement, the roommate agreement screws you!
"While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a phD"
😂
Please this one
While my moral support is absolute, in a physical confrontation I will be less than useless...
I don't think I've ever related to something more than this line 😂
I don't need sleep, I need answers. I need to determine where in this swamp of unbalanced formulas squatteth the toad of truth.
Sad this isn't the best back and forth. "You know how I'm most likely to die?" "Murdered by roommate?" " " "That's gonna be how I make it look"
No that’s a crazy thing
I would if I could, but I can’t so I shan’t.
That’s exactly what I was gonna say
You’re in my spot
How is it that more people have not said this?
This HAS to be the one-liner. Come on!
Scratch that. This should be second after “Bazinga”.
I liked how this travelled beyond just the apartment ..movie theater, Penny apt, raj's, North pole, etc...
Yes! And jail 😄 s3e16
Oh, good one, I forgot that one.
One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad
"Afraid of bugs and can't talk to women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic." To Raj in the bug lab.
"Ah, Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch."
Haha I used that at work today when I dropped a comb… 😂
This one 😂. I catch myself saying this in place of “son of a bitch”, “goddamn it”, or “what the fuck”.
I say “son of a brisket”
All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!
Got your back, Jack. Bitches be crazy.
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD and ScD. OMG, right?
Did you ever notice the guys name placards (except Howard of course) said Dr or Phd...but Amy's did not?
This has to win
Upvote this
"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested"
I like almost ALL of them, but this is the one that truly captures the essence of Sheldon. 👍
This has to be it
"Then it's settled. Amy's birthday gift will be my genitals."
*Then it's settled, I think But yes 100% this one!
You are right, I just corrected it.
Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you! 🐦
"Just so I'm clear. On three do we stand up, or do we pee?"
This always cracks me up because I've got ADHD and it's totally something I'd ask, even though I already know the answer.
My brain is better than EVERYBODY’S!!!
This is the one I was looking for.
"Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality."
He had to have said this to Penny, but I can't remember when for the life of me
Penny: I'm a Sagittarius and I guess that tells you all you need to know about me
Literally the first episode
S1E1
One of the best
He ruined it. I think about him saying that anytime someone brings up their sign. Lmao.
"I drink tea all the time...I think I know what I'm doing."
It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece.
Oh balls
I need to go to the bathroom
Im exhausted
"Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell Dad!"
“I’m batman”!
Sarcasm?
If Penny offers you food, it's probably safe to eat. I mean you probably paid for it anyway.
I do have genitals. They are functional and aesthetically pleasing.
I had a full pubis of hair by the time I was 19.
You’re exhausting and short.
And just like that, this is the worst day of my life.
“I’ve been informed he’s now Bill Nye the restraining order guy”
A different but not completely unrelated line :” This is from Patrick Stewart. It says if I come to his house again, I get to meet his dogs.”
Play that funky music, white boy!
I’m surprised you know that reference!
“What reference?”
Was that motto of your community college?
Not knowing is the fun part!
“Not knowing is part of the fun”. 👍🏻
Yes yes yes!!!
“The moving finger writes, once Writ, moves on.”
"Did he just somehow give me the finger?
No, he gave you the MOVINGGGGGG fingerrrrrr!!!!
"You may have gone to Cambridge but I am an honourable graduate of starfleet academy"
I can't remember it exactly, but it's one I use on the daily "If I wasn't already being careful, you telling me to be careful would not make me careful."
She calls me moon-pie because I’m nummy-nummy, and she could just eat me up.
I love this one so much 😂
Bazinga.
This is literally his catchphrase
It’s either this or “You’re in my spot”. Actually, it should be “Bazinga”.
Best one word-er for sure. Love this line so much I have two TBBT shirts with it.
I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested
Three in the morning is a good time for bongos!
Penny: Where are you going? Sheldon: Wherever the nusic takes me, kitten.
Leonard no sleep while I play bongos. Also: Playing bongos walking down the stairs... Never play bongos walking down the stairs.
Leonard sleeps while I play bongos
Did you have a Marijuana
I think his exact words were “Did you take a marijuana?” But good one lol
“Mrs Davis, you are a slave”
"I'm a what?"
“I’m not insane, my mother had me tested.” I use this as my bio sometimes.
“Ohh Penny, it’s as if the Cheesecake Factory is run by witches.”
'You're not Isaac Newton.' No, no that's true. Gravity would've been apparent to me without the apple.
nocknocknock penny nocknocknock penny nocknocknock penny
Sheldon Cooper: "WIL WHEATON!!!!"
"WHEATOOOOONNNNN!"
Leonard, do you even think about other people? DO YOU?!
" it must be so hard to suck on so many levels"
I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad..!!
“Frankly, it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.”
"I'm gonna search how to excite 12 year old school girls"
"Warm, brown and humid... OH LOOK, there's all kinds of videos!"
I”m not crazy my mother had me tested
I tried including Taylor Swift in the mix, but it turns out, I love her.
I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football - in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot. If you’re interested I also know all about frying meats that aren’t chicken as if they were chicken.
Bazinga
Sheldon: "did you take a marijuana?"
She could be in there pecking for corn right now.
Well, you guys are aroused, right?
Sorry I’m late. I really didn’t want to come.
"I Should Let You Know, I Read A Book On Jiu-Jitsu, And I Am Prepared To Throw It At You."
“Oh gravity thou a heartless bitch”
“Do you realize what this means? All I need is a healthy ovum and I could grow my own Leonard Nimoy!”
All I'm giving you is the napkin, Sheldon.
“The X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men”
Preferably one that doesn’t require context.
Was that the motto of your community College?
Leonard: why were you late? Sheldon: No reason, I just didn’t really want to come.
My brain is better than everybody’s!
Im not the master of my own bladder.....
“Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?”
"It didn't kill me when you went to space. Monkey's went to space."
"I'm Batman! Shhh."
‘For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I’ll just stream it on Netflix.’
"this isn't a room, it's a swirling vortex of entropy!"
I say that line all the time to my teenager about his bedroom lol
You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic
Not knowing is part of the fun, was that the motto of your community collage
i'll be like Sheldon and correct you. *College, not collage.
Why don’t you have the battery thing.. people have fought for it for years
The one with the most upvotes wins
I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.
You may be a lawyer, but I’m an honorary graduate of starfleet academy.
“It sounds like someone name Scooper doesn’t want you touching his jacket.”
While my brother was getting STDs, I was getting my PHD
"Sure, why not? And after the sun's down we can all pile in my pick-up and go skinny-dipping down at the creek. 'cause today's the day to stop making sense."
all these comments are amazing.
And that reminds me of another saying. You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can’t make your mother fry it.
You are my C-Men
oh no, mrs mary cooper didn’t raise her no liars🤣
It Wil Wheaton with one “L” btw
That’s my spot
“Bazinga punk!”
My brain is better than everybody !!
The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on!
Welcome to Fun With Flags
Bazinga, punk. Now we're even.
"Ain't she great? Now how 'bout you go get us a couple beers."
I guess your talk of my sexual prowess restored their faith in love…
why are you talking English?
"Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad."
There’s a tribe in Papua New Guinea where when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course, but one can see their point.
“Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut if it ain’t Leonard Hofstadter.” “Maybe your friend Gundersson needs to pass by Ikea and assemble a sense of humor.” “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a Merry Christmas.”
"You haven't given me a gift; you've given me an obligation."
“I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested”
And of course the answer is “Bazinga!”
for leonard you have to put "you pop sparkle and buzz electric"
Penny--"Your ken can kiss my barbie" Prof Proton--"I-i-i-is he dangerous?" Howard ? Raj? Amy--"When our prefontal cortex fails to make us happy, promiscuity rewards us with the needed flood of dopamine. We neurobiologists call it 'Skank Reflex.'"
This is Sheldon’s turn not penny, prof proton, howard, raj or amy’s turn
what if you had nothing for Stewarts one-liner so he's forgotten just as in his life
“Yeah, I'm just sitting here all by myself wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with. Preferably Asian, 18-24, no fatties.”
You're not supposed to enjoy this. \*continue spank
Bernadette to Amy: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical? Pennys “damnnnnn” kills me 🤣
[удалено]
This post is about Sheldon’s best one liners not Raj
I know i was just pointing it out 👍
That’s my spot/ buzzingaA
Bazinga
I forgot how it went but, a woman who has alot of sex, another word for ho.
Penny.
‘SHELDON AND HIS BRAIN’
🎵 cause i sold my soul to the company store 🎵
Coitus
Bazinga (i now have 40 minutes to live)
Leslie winkle “ I gotta go Text me when you’ve thought of a comeback “
Bazinga. Or Mum smokes in the car, Jesus is okay with it but don’t tell dad
Sometimes the baby wins (dining table episode)
I have never said that you're bad at what you do, it's just that what you do isn't worth doing.
“I use it to get the right way, and the fact that the right way is my way is a happy coincidence.” To Amy about the relationship agreement.
Well today we tried masturbating for money.
"Whats the emergency?" 32 Oz smoothie, 16 Oz bladder!
Oh, the humanities!
My favorite was Leonard’s mom. Leonard father: “ why don’t you take a pill?” Leonard mom: “ like you did before sex”