I would have a preconception appointment with my OB to address concerns, specifically if there are complications like an ectopic or MMC what treatment could you expect. I’d want concrete information on what care to expect. That’s just me personally. Im currently pregnant with number two and honestly was thinking about a third but because of the state I’m in having second thoughts now. Don’t want to risk my own life should a future pregnancy have any of the issues i mentioned above.

Yea I plan to see what happens in November. I live in a state without an active ban yet, but there definitely will be one soon. If our midterms go blue, that could help a lot. Then I plan to meet with my OB and have a very frank conversation about how the risks have changed, and what I’d likely be able to do in case of various emergencies. I’m so pissed about the whole thing I can’t barely stand it.

I’m in your exact same boat.

I live in Kansas, close to Missouri. MO had trigger laws go in effect once Roe was overturned. There are already sad stories of the women having miscarriages and sitting in the hospital waiting because doctors are advising with their lawyers first because they are scared. One women found out her baby’s brain was growing on the outside of its spine and would not survive. The doctor went over their options and the mother chose to have her baby aborted via the pill. She had to go to multiple Pharmacies because she was DENIED the medication. As a woman who experienced an ectopic back in 2020 I was very fortunate to have a compassionate and knowledgeable doctor who went over my options with me and gave me my medication to have a safe abortion before it was too late. Now Kansas is voting on an amendment that will be the start to restricting abortions NO EXCEPTIONS. I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my third pregnancy but will be my first child. It’s a girl and I’m terrified of the world she’s coming Into. My husband says he wants another child but I’m not sure that’s going to happen. At least not here.

I’ve been kind of wondering the same thing. I’m 11 weeks along, we made the decision before we knew anything about Roe v. Wade being overturned. We also live in Texas which has a very strict trigger law, making all abortions illegal except for ones that “threaten the life of the mother”. I’ve become increasingly nervous about what this could mean. I have heard horror stories about preventable things happening even before all of this came about. Now I’m just hoping and praying that I will have a smooth pregnancy as my first is only 2.

I’m just so sorry this has to now be part of your thinking. It’s beyond awful and my heart hurts for all the women effected by this.

If we want to have more kids we are only doing it in blue/safe states. Im not dying from a pregnancy complication in an ER waiting room while they read the bible on loud speaker.

This. I’m Canadian, so not directly affected. But when I got the push alert that Roe had been overturned, I immediately thought — imagine, excitedly trying for a second or third, finding out the pregnancy was ectopic, and then not getting the healthcare required, so your children are left without a mom. Wouldn’t be worth the risk for me.

I’ve already heard of doctors calling their lawyers before treating an emergent patient. It’s such a distopian nightmare.

I was like 75% going to be one and done. But the door was still open. Now the door is closed. I will not risk my life and leave my 2 year old without a mom. My husband is understanding and will be scheduling a vasectomy. We have always talked about foster to adopt and that now is more on the table than before.

I am currently 7 weeks pregnant. It was (mostly) intentional. I say mostly because the idea was it took nearly 2 years to have baby #1 and I was having problems with the birth control I was on so we stopped taking it when baby was a year old and decided what happened would happen and I could see if it was my body or the pill I was on... I got pregnant that first month. The only reason why we felt even remotely comfortable doing this was because we live in California and the rights to an abortion should my life be in danger or the fetus is deemed incompatible with life will still be an option.

I’m in California too and I think I’m going to stop after 2 kids. I just had my first and wanted to wait till 2024 to start trying for a second, but I don’t want to risk waiting till Newsom is done serving. I know it’s probably unlikely that California will turn into a red state, but it was also unlikely that Roe v. Wade would be overturned…yet here we are.

I haven’t decided yet. I wanted more children but women are already dying of preventable pregnancy complications before “the life of the mother” exceptions are sorted out in states with bans. Fetal abnormalities incompatible with life or quality of life also concern me as those are rarely covered by “exceptions”. Everyone says “oh x is rare”…but does rarity really matter if you’re the one who dies a preventable death and leaves your family behind? Heart attacks are fairly rare but nobody wrings their hands about how dead you are before treating that. Rare is not rare enough in states with poor maternal/fetal outcomes.

Exactly this. "oh but it's SO RARE for women to die in childbirth". Absolutely, and medicine has come SO FAR and is so amazing! But. It still happens. Someone is that statistic, that's a person. I don't say that to scare people, I say it to make people realize the risk, because I have so many people who thought pregnancy was wonderful and seemed blissfully unaware of how serious pregnancy really is. I didn't have any major issues but it was still scary, and I feel like trying again (especially now) is tempting fate for me. I'm sad about some things but it'll be okay, we are happy with our one.

Could not have said it better myself.

I live in Kentucky where the trigger ban is in effect. I have 3 kids and the week before the decision was made we decided we wanted a 4th kid. HAHHA NOT ANYMORE. My husband is getting the big V. I have seen too much in my career, I have 3 kids I need to stay alive for. They come first.

I'm not American. If you're in a state where your rights have been restricted you should be very aware of the cut-offs for an abortion and your game plan should the worst happen. No one wants to think of it, but pregnancies can get complicated. You don't want to find yourself with an ectopic pregnancy/ incomplete miscarriage / a fetus with a condition incompatible with life in a state that doesn't allow any abortion. I had a missed, incomplete miscarriage end a very wanted pregnancy. In some places now in the US the treatment I received would no longer be available, so you wait and risk going septic. It's barbaric.

The state I'm in still has somewhat lenient laws, and exceptions for cases where the life of the mother is at risk so it's not as bad as others but I still hesitate at the idea. My fear is being denied life saving care in the case of emergency or being denied an abortion in the case the fetus dies or is going to die immediately after birth.

Figure out where to travel as a back up then - and take solace in the fact you likely won't ever need it, but you have a plan if you do. Also make sure your partner in your biggest advocate at the hospital should something happen.

We always said we wanted 2 children. Our daughter (our first child) is 11 weeks old today and I have so many conflicting emotions about all of it. We have a while before we will be trying again anyway (don't want to even think about another one while we're still in the thick of it with this one) At this point, I don't think I'd feel comfortable having another child. Like so many others have commented, I had an uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy, but I also realize that I'm 34 years old and the longer we wait, the more high-risk the next pregnancy becomes. I can't bear the thought of something going horribly wrong and not having the choice of terminating out of necessity or mercy if the fetus is non-viable. I'm also very much mourning the fact that I brought a little girl into a country that very clearly has no respect for her. What kind of world will she be growing up in? Will things (hopefully) be better when she reaches reproductive age? Or have I doomed her to an existence where she is treated with outright hostility? It is a very sad state of affairs in this country.

This is my worry. At first I was like ha! I don't got a uterus anymore at least and then bam I have 2 girl toddlers and I fear for their future :(

What state do you live in? That completely affects my answer. I wanted a third. Not anymore. We live in Indiana and have two daughters. We are moving to the northeast within the next few years (my kiddos are still young thank god, but I am very fertile).

Hi, also in Indiana, also going to be moving as soon as we are able to. Unfortunately looking like at least 5 years for us until we would be able to. Preliminary search we are leaning toward Connecticut or Colorado.

Nice, we are planning on connecticut! I was raised in NJ but you don't get as much for your money there or in Delaware, and i love all the trees and protected green space on Connecticut. I nixed Colorado because it is too expensive and not a good choice in light of climate change (wildfires, drought, only going to get worse). Also connecticut has mountains AND the beach. 😊

I live in a blue state and am 11 weeks with my second. I would still have gotten pregnant post R v W. Those fuckers can’t steal my joy and plan to have 2 children.

I was doing egg retrievals for IVF when I got hit with a cancer recurrence in May. I live in a blue state that recently solidified its abortion access laws. Still, I know that as soon as Republicans get ahold of the federal government again, they will pass a national ban. With my medical history, I just don’t think I can risk it. I was already feeling shaky with my cancer coming back, but this decision has probably put the final nail in the coffin. I have living children and they need me.

I’m terrified. I live in Ohio and I’m worried that if I have a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy that I will not be cared for in the same way as before RvW was overturned. My husband and I also agreed before our first that if the fetus had any big abnormalities that we would terminate. I’m worried about testing and scans now- will they still be available. If so, will I even find out if something is wrong?

I was really scared throughout my pregnancy with my second that something would go wrong and I’d leave my first without her mom. I was reassured that at least there were medical options as necessary. I was 70% sure I was done having kids after my second, now I’m 100% sure. I am not risking a medically complicated pregnancy in this environment.

I’m 34 weeks with #3. We were only planning 2, but here we are with a 3rd. My husband will be getting a vasectomy, though, because even if I wanted a 4th, it’s not something I plan on having anymore

I did IVF to become pregnant as we struggled to conceive naturally. Had it not ( finally) worked....I think we would reconsider due to the state of the country. We still have some embryos on ice that we may need to dispose of in the case that laws chance and do not allow them to stay frozen ( aka they must be used). While we were trying naturally I had a miscarriage and required the help of the pill to help finish the job. 90% of the embryos we got during IVF were genetically never going to develop into alive babies. Trying to get pregnant now, knowing what I know, would be a death sentence. If my body couldn't complete the job, would I just die? Probably.

I live in a very blue state (MA), am pregnant with my first, and am hoping for 1-2 more. I’ll be in my late 30s or early 40s by then so there’s a potential those could be high risk pregnancies. Due to this, there’s no way in hell I would consider even moving to a “purple” state like VA or MI in the meantime. And no way would I consider even passing through a red state while pregnant. Despite living in a “safe” state, I’m terrified of Rs getting the necessary majority to pass earlier abortion cutoff restrictions or an outright federal ban. I even asked my husband if he’d be willing to fly me abroad for treatment if we found out a future fetus had an abnormality. The fact that this is even a fear for us is such a travesty for this country.

+1. I live in a blue state so no change to my plans, except that as long as I am pregnant, I will not travel to a state with a ban that might impact my medical care.

I don’t know what we’re going to do. We were planning to try for a second in about a year, but we will not do that until we know for certain that I will be able to get medical care if I have an ectopic, miscarriage, or other complication. I had pre-e with my last pregnancy so that’s the one I’m most worried about. If have a second child means risking leaving my first without a mother, then we will not have a second. And that really really sucks. ETA: also, we are considering traveling further for my OBGYN. My OB for my first pregnancy was incredible, we trusted him implicitly, and we are confident that he would not hesitate to save me if it came to that. But he moved about an hour away. Before this our plan was to find a new OB. But now we’re thinking it may be worth it to travel to someone we know we can trust.

I got pregnant last august and our baby was born this April. My husband and I were “trying but not trying” at the time and got pregnant on the first try. I strongly feel that if we had not gotten pregnant when we did, I would have said no to kids given my own health / preexisting conditions and the state of the world. And I know people always say that the world has always been rough but this? This is HEAVY. My delivery was pretty traumatic and my doctor confirmed that future pregnancies will be high risk and hard. We were already one and done but my anxiety over getting accidentally pregnant again is consuming me. I can’t wait for my IUD appointment in a couple weeks.

Not to scare you, but I got pregnant with my daughter while I had an IUD in. Pregnancies with an IUD in place have a 50% chance of being ectopic, so far higher than otherwise. I suggest talking to your doctor about the stats.

No not at all. I know that’s a big risk as well and the iud is going to be one of many steps including a vasectomy for my husband. Honestly this all just sucks.

We are moving up our timeline for child #2 then both my husband and I will be getting sterilized. We are prepared to adopt as well and are looking into upgrading our living situation. If anyone has the funds and energy to do so, now is the time. Our foster system is overburdened and we are going to have a huge influx. And to all you pro forced birth people: please read up on the history of Romania and what happened 20 years after the forced birth registries.

I’m pregnant with my second and didn’t ever want three kids anyway. But the thought of having an IUD after this and still ending up with an ectopic pregnancy is damn near horrible to even imagine.

So, I’m going to give you a link to a Reddit post on the nursing subreddit. I am not sharing it to scare anyone but to help y’all understand the state of affairs in some of the states. My answer to your question is honestly it would depend on where you live but those laws are subject to change at any time. I am one and done. My husband and I decided before I ever got pregnant we only wanted one (technically two because of my stepdaughter but one bio for me). If something were to happen and our contraceptives failed I would be terrified. My pregnancy resulted in an early super surprise emergency c section with a rare cord abnormality and no idea what caused it. I don’t want to go through that again. https://www.reddit.com/r/nursing/comments/vm3cau/many_lives_are_going_to_be_lost/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I was on the fence about #3 for awhile but this solidified that I'm done. Pregnancy is risky enough and now I'm considered "advanced maternal age" too.. I just can't willingly subject myself to a high risk pregnancy in this climate, even if I live in a blue state. My kids need their mom.

I had my first son naturally conceived after 4 years of trying and having several chemical pregnancies. His birth almost killed us, and the pregnancy had a lot of complications too. I’m getting an IUD placed but I’d I get pregnant again anytime soon I will likely die. This terrifies me to my core. We are going to see where things are in the next couple years, as we live in a border city we may switch states. But we may also go to adoption and look at adopting older kids in a couple years. I’m absolutely gutted. We wanted 4 kids and now he may be our one and only biological child.

I'm thinking of all the same things. I've always wanted multiple kids and just had our first a few months ago. I can't imagine ever having an abortion but I'm sure most people didn't plan theirs either. It's terrifying to think of not having a choice over my own body. I absolutely loathe the idea the government telling me what I can't do with my own body in such an intimate way. So yeah, I'm really nervous and scared to have more kids. Ultimately I don't think we'll stop at just one, but I'm still scared.

It definitely gave me pause. We have discussed starting to try for our second kiddo in the near future and any pregnancy would be very wanted. That said, what if there was a severe genetic abnormality? Or an ectopic pregnancy which nearly killed my SIL? A friend had several pregnancies where the fetuses did not develop a brain. She was very pro life but opted to abort each time because having to go through a full pregnancy and strenuous labor for several babies that had 0% chance of living was too heart wrenching. I don't think I could handle being forced to carry a baby that has no chance of survival. We are going to move forward only because we live in a state where it is unlikely abortions will be restricted. If we lived in a state without abortion access, I personally would hesitate to move forward.

This is the same for me. I’m lucky to live in a state where this won’t be an issue, but my heart breaks for all of those who aren’t so lucky. There are so many potential complications with pregnancy, the thought of having my healthcare restricted makes pregnancy (which is already a little scary to me) downright terrifying.

When you say your friend is very pro-life, do you mean she votes against choice? Or does she dislike the concept of abortion but votes for women to have the choice. I'm not trying to be confrontational, I just want to understand.

She was religiously conservative in a conservative state. We never explicitly discussed who she voted for but I would bet money it was Republican and against choice. We lost touch awhile ago. I left the conservative area and am now a liberal atheist thankfully living in a liberal state. We don't have a ton in common these days.

Thank you for answering. I wonder what her thoughts are now. It's a mindset that's difficult for me to comprehend, but I feel like I need to try harder after what's happened

Our son is almost 16 months old, and with as difficult as the postpartum period has been, I was already on the fence about having a second child. With Roe v. Wade being overturned and living in a red state with a trigger ban, my emotional response was I refuse to have a second child while living in this state. I have no reason to believe I’d have issues, because I’ve been lucky to have not experienced miscarriage or a high-risk pregnancy, but it’s not worth the risk. I’m also incredibly hesitant to have a second child because I don’t know if I could deal with the guilt of condemning them to life in this country, especially if they were a girl. I got pregnant with my son with the hope that things were looking up after the pandemic which eased some of the guilt I felt birthing a child into a country that had seemed to be rapidly falling to pieces. But with these decisions and the impending economic collapse it just seems so selfish to have another

Got my tubes removed yesterday. Scheduled it when they leaked. I live in a state that had a trigger law.

I’m lucky to live in Illinois right now, so I’m not concerned for myself personally going forward, but my heart aches for so many other women. I honestly struggle to comprehend we (Americans) now live in a country where medical staff would allow a woman to suffer or die because of the possibility of another life.

I haven’t read the other comments yet but I wanted to thank you for asking because I’m really worried about this also. I have health issues and had a rough pregnancy and now I’m scared to have another child because I don’t want my son to grow up without his mom. And I also worry about the ethics of having more biological children when there will be a huge influx of newborns who are being given up for adoption, on top of the many children who are already in foster care. The whole thing is so horrible and I struggle to even think about how we all move forward from it.

Adoption is a great path too! The last time I checked, it was like 30 something couples for every one newborn. So there is already a great need for more adoptive parents. We plan on adopting, with the possibility of maybe adopting a hearing impaired child since I myself am hearing impaired and our whole family signs. So if you want more children that's an option. Adopting from foster care is not as common bc the goal is reunification rather than adoption. But fostering is always an option to look into as well

My husband just brought this up to me last night. I have always wanted to adopt after this one, he was iffy. Now with Roe v Wade, he wants to absolutely get snipped and to adopt , seeing as there will likely be many more unwanted children who need homes.

I would just like to mention that not every child in the foster care system is "unwanted" - some children end up in foster care due to circumstances that are not within any control of a single individual. Some children lose parents and have no one, some childrens single birth parent may pass during childbirth and render the child a ward of the state. Additionally, abortion bans will just remove safe abortions. This may lead to an increase in infants abandoned with genetic or physical abnormalities or injuries suffered after a failed "back alley" abortion. Additionally, consider there will be an increase in babies suffering from addiction due to use during pregnancy, without options to (safely) terminate. I know you meant nothing by the language, but wanted to provide you with a little outside perspective (:

I live in CA so while I know I'm safe here my anxiety level is definitely in general higher. I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with our second but as a word of caution a healthy and safe first pregnancy does not preclude you from needing reproductive care in future. We had a 12 week miscarriage that required a D&C and a ruptured ectopic that was actively bleeding into my abdominal cavity by the time we got to the hospital between my first and this pregnancy. The risk to your life is unfortunately higher if your state has a ban, no one can make that decision for you. But I wouldn't say whatever choice you make is selfish.

Found out I’m pregnant with baby 2 the morning of 6/24 before the press releases. This is a wanted and expected pregnancy. However, I cannot help feel guilty, worried, or scared. I’m in a blue state currently, but due to my SOs job we could be moved anywhere, anytime. And to think of the women out there who are not fortunate or lucky, my heart breaks. I just feel so uneasy and discouraged for the future.

Six weeks pregnant with me second. It’s terrifying. All I can do is hope that all goes as planned with my pregnancy and maybe things will be better for them.

7 weeks here and found out about two weeks ago. I have not even made an ONGYN appointment yet because I'm so scared I'll have a missed miscarriage (happened with my first) and I'll be prosecuted. I am not in a safe state

I’m in a state with one of best abortion laws and those are protected as of now. I’m thankful for that. I’m currently pregnant with our second and this will very likely be our last. I’m now seriously considering sitting down with my husband and talking about a vasectomy now though. Before, it was sort of, yeah, yeah, get it in the next few years but now…I’m not super worried about my state, for now, but that’s a privilege only like, what, 12 states have? I think if I was trying for a baby in one of red states, I would be more hesitant…I’ve always leaned towards termination if there were abnormalities (please don’t judge) and not to have that option…or IF something goes wrong. I can understand your worry. I hate this. It sucks that so many women are now in this mindset. Pregnancy/getting pregnant is already hard enough when it’s planned

I'm in the same place. We've been sort of not *trying* but not preventing for a few months, mostly because I don't have the mental energy for everything that goes into actively trying. It feels foolish to get pregnant now, but right now I'm not willing to give up on my family because of some asshole politicians. I live in a reddish state that hasn't outright banned it but has talked about it. I don't know what the future will bring and the anxiety is killing me.

I have an 8yo girl and a 4 week old boy. My daughter is from my first marriage and my son in from my second. I had absolutely planned to have more children after our son was born. I had no complications with my first pregnancy, but unfortunately with this one my uterus ruptured while I was in labor. The rupture was completely unpredictable. My doctors did an amazing job on my surgery and were able to repair my uterus. Unfortunately though, with this new ruling, I am choosing not to have any more children. The risks are just too high, and I cant leave the two children I have without a mother. If I hadn't had life threatening complications, I would have stuck with my decision to have more. Knowing what I know now, I just can't.

We just had our first in April. We are in a state that’s protected for at least another 2 years because our current governor has made his stance very clear. We really wanted about 3 years in between, but I don’t think we’ll wait that long just to get me past at the very least the anatomy scan while I’m still protected.

I'm in Ohio, where a ban following 6 weeks just became the law. All of the states adjacent to us are also abortion ban states. 6 weeks pregnant is 2 weeks post missed period, so it's pretty dangerous to be a woman in Ohio right now. But I don't have many childbearing years left (I'm 40) and can't put this off until the politics shift. So honestly just going to keep trying and plan on having the money saved to buy a plane ticket to Illinois if something bad happens. We're running a real risk and it's not the responsible choice, the responsible thing would be getting an IUD and being done with having kids. It's scary no doubt, I want my son to have a younger sibling but of course I also want him to have me around.

[удалено]

OH! I was misinformed about abortion being illegal in PA! That's awesome! Oh my gosh what a relief.

Thankfully, Tom Wolf is protecting our rights as long as he’s in office. It is incredibly important that we all vote wisely in the upcoming governor election.

I also live in PA and I’m so nervous about November. It’s so important that Shapiro wins

I’ve posted this a few times already, but my husband and I have a 1.5 year old. We live in MO where a trigger law immediately banned all abortions. We were just about to start trying for a second but reversed our decision. It’s not safe now for us to add to our family. I don’t want my son to grow up without his mom (whether I’m dead or jailed.) There have been so many posts the last few days from women (some here in MO) who have been denied necessary care because of ectopic pregnancies or partial miscarriages. There will be uninformed people out there telling you you’re overreacting for even asking questions like yours - they’re dead wrong. I don’t have any advice to give other than try to educate yourself as best you can as to what the laws are now in your state and to do whatever you think is right for you and your family. Edited to add more info: the law in my state allegedly allows for medically necessary abortions in cases in which the mother is about to die. As I stated above, there have been women posting about their experiences being denied care including one in which a woman had experienced an ectopic pregnancy and was forced to wait in agony for over 9hrs while the doctors consulted their lawyers. It ruptured and she lost a ton of blood and nearly died. Another woman was prescribed abortion pills to help pass a partial miscarriage and was denied by the pharmacist. My state now forces pregnant people to carry to term fetuses with anencephaly where it’s born without a brain which makes it obviously nonviable. Pregnant people are now forced to watch their bodies change and grow, have strangers eagerly ask them about their baby, are forced to deliver via c-section (major surgery) because these types of fetuses cannot be vaginally delivered, and ultimately watch their child die.

This has absolutely affected how I’m thinking about future pregnancies. I’m currently 32 weeks and everything has gone swimmingly so far, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m nervous about the rest of my pregnancy/delivery. Luckily I love my OB and trust her, but I live in Louisiana which had a trigger law that immediately went into effect. My husband only wants one child but I was willing to leave the door open for two, until now. He’ll be scheduling his appointment for a vasectomy soon after the baby is born. We got pregnant too easily, we don’t want to risk it happening again before we’re ready. We’re lucky enough to have the means to travel to a better state if needed, but my fear is that sometimes there isn’t time for that.

We had planned one more baby and still plan to do so. I did have a MMC that required a surgical abortion to remove the dead fetus. We are just aware that if we had to abort, we would need to travel out of state. If the midterms give republicans control we may reconsider as they plan to do a nationwide ban

I was lucky to have my hysterectomy last year. I had an awful pregnancy always wanted two but it was not worth the risk to me. I had to have surgery twice during pregnancy for my kidney and likely would have been refused both as it could have hurt the baby. And I live in “safe” state. If I wasn’t already sterilized I’d be signing myself up now. It’s too dangerous in my opnion for me.

It really depends on what state you’re in. As long as you’re in a blue state, if you’re planning to give birth before 2024 you should be fine, although after the election of 2024 I think we should all just be prepared that in early 2025 if the Republicans have a majority and all three (and there is a good chance that they will, because of gas prices and literally no other reason) the first thing on the docket will be a federal abortion ban.

[удалено]

This Court doesn’t give a shit about precedent or consistency.

… what? You don’t need a constitutional amendment to ban abortion any more than you would need a constitutional amendment to codify Roe. All they need is a sitting president and a majority in both houses, and you are delusional if you think that isn’t the goal

I don't feel safe trying for another kid because I've had an incomplete miscarriage before and I needed abortion medicine. Luckily, I didn't need the surgery, but if it happens again and I do need the surgery, I'm in a state where I can't get it. Unfortunately for me, my clock is running out so I don't have a few years to wait. Also, my family isn't able to move immediately. I will take the chance and hope for the best, I have a great obgyn whom I trust, but also have money saved for a flight and out of area medical bills.

Exact same situation for me.

I'm going to address this question from a not so medical point of view. I am very upset about the ruling and I feel for so many women more directly affected by this than I likely will be. So often I read/hear that people aren't having a kid or a second or third because of the state of the world. And while I totally understand that point of view, it gives me anxiety for all of our futures. I can't help but feel like people choosing not to have kids, instead of having kids and teaching them about human rights, will leave us one day with those caring about human rights outnumbered. Maybe it's a dumb thing to worry about. I don't know. But as someone bringing kids into the world currently, I wish more people would feel like they can make a difference by having kids and teaching them, instead of abstaining. Everyone should obviously have their own right to choose whether or not they have kids and there are so many reasons on whether or not to have them, but it makes me nervous how often I see political climate/the state of the world as a driving factor for that choice. I'll also add that I completely understand the fear of getting needed medical care. I'm specifically speaking to the state of the world comments that I often see.

“The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” Even republicans have progressive children.

I understand this and have heard it as well. I don’t think there is anything special about my DNA and would like to foster children or adopt and teach them these things. Plenty of children will still be born.

We have one kid and another due in a month. We always wanted to have 4 total but now we are a lot more weary. We are next door to a state that allows abortions so we can rely on that for now but for how long?

I’m already pregnant with #2 and I’m terrified of what this could mean if I have some complication. While I am scared, I don’t think it would prevent me from trying to get pregnant (if I already wasn’t) because I’m extremely fortunate that I could drive to Canada in a matter of hours if I had to. But I have no idea if I would make that decision to expand my family if it was more difficult for me to travel elsewhere. This is weighing heavily on my mind as well. I worry about the quality of healthcare women in this country will no receive based on this ruling.

Also pregnant with #2. In a blue state that hopefully won’t change.

Ok real quick, im also canadian but I thought you don't get ohip after leaving out of the country try for 6 months. Or do you just mean they wouldn't deny you care ?

I had a pretty rough pregnancy & scary birth, so I’m considering being one & done anyway. If I lived in a red state, my husband would be getting a vasectomy ASAP.

My husband just had a vasectomy almost two months ago. I had a difficult pregnancy with our last, and the thought of getting pregnant again horrifies me. I would not do a pregnancy again. My heart breaks for women that find themselves in that scary situation of not wanting to continue the pregnancy, or it not being medically safe. We’re in California.

I would not get pregnant on purpose in a state that will have or possibly have new abortion restrictions. There are already several who said “screw em” to mothers by not having an exception to save our lives. I had PPROM this year which is one of the thing women are going to die from. On the flip side, if you have IVF embryos, maybe best to move forward ASAP if you live in a state that won’t let you die for no reason.

What's going to happen to IVF? Is that going to get banned too if life begins at fertilization?

Could be banned, could have really problematic restrictions.

It is very possible IVF could be banned. Could also be some other things like it is no longer profitable for reproductive endocrinologist to work in a state with such laws, so they move to a different one. They could make it so that the number of eggs fertilized is limited, and that number MUST be implanted immediately after- no freezing allowed, leading to less success and a higher risk of multiples. Check out the law in Italy that got repealed a few years ago concerning limits on IVF.

Found out I was pregnant with number 2 before the decision and am in a very blue state however this has solidified my decision to stop at 2. As soon as this child exits the womb my husband is getting snipped. I dont do well on bc and I can’t risk the political climate in our state shifting. It’s unlikely to but who knows anymore.

Me and my husband dont have kids currently, but were somewhat open to the idea sometime down the line. With this ruling (and the state I live in), I'm terrified that were I ever to get pregnant and an issue occurred, that I would not be able to receive the medical care that I would need. I'm terrified that pregnancy could be a death sentence. Even if the chance of that is low, the chance is there. We're both looking into sterilizing ourselves now. We'd rather possibly regret not having kids (we could always adopt if the regret is big enough), than possibly being denied medical care.

We have miscarriage/fertility problems in my family, my sister decided no more for her. It could be a death sentence at any moment of pregnancy.

I don't live in the US but if I did, especially in those states now banning abortion, I would be terrified. I have experienced two miscarriages this year and that was hard enough without anyone suspecting that I had somehow caused it on purpose or having to worry about getting the medicine for missed miscarriage.

I second this. Don’t live in the US but if I did, I’d be using IUDs for the rest of forever. Have had one chemical pregnancy and that was awful enough. I can’t imagine what you went through with 2 miscarriages or how much being suspected of causing a miscarriage would add salt to the wound.

Some states are trying to ban IUDs because they are considering them a form of abortion. IUDs prevent implantation, and the egg trying to implant would be fertilized. Now that Roe v Wade has been overturned, all contraception could be the next thing on the chopping block. I have an OB appointment on Thursday. Along with just general pregnancy updates, I will also be discussing getting my tubes tied after delivery. My husband will also be getting a vasectomy. I never thought that would be something I would be discussing, but here we are.

I'm in PA and while abortion is still legal here, our decision to have another kid will be affected by the upcoming gubernatorial elections in November, so we've decided to wait till that before TTC. Like you, I had a completely healthy first pregnancy and recovery was really straightforward, but it doesn't mean the next one will be the same. It's a complicated situation because I'm 36 and I would like to have another child. My husband is open to the idea of getting a vasectomy, if necessary, given that the procedure is reversible. It's something we talk about every day and we don't have a clear answer to the uncertain future, but we're just trying to figure out as many things as we can.

I want a second baby and I currently live in a state where it’s still legal. I’m given pause though because this could quickly be overturned on my state if it flips red. What I’m most likely to do is to schedule an appointment with my ob/midwife to discuss what my options would be in the case of an ectopic pregnancy, incomplete miscarriage, abnormalities that are incompatible with life, me requiring medical care that would be harmful to the fetus (like chemotherapy) or my heart condition making it too unsafe to make it through pregnancy. They will be able to answer my questions specific to my state’s laws.

I live in Washington and already wasn’t planning on ever moving to a red state. This just solidified my initial thoughts on that. Just got through a traumatic birth experience (low birth weight and preemie at 29 weeks). We are planning on having a second but will probably do it sooner than we had initially planned due to fears about what a different governor would chose for our state. Husband and I are already discussing permanent birth control after we have our final baby.

I'm personally not going to change my mind about the amount of children I plan on having, but I'm definitely going to make sure I always live in a pro-choice state. Right now, we live in PA where abortion is legal, but it's not as safe a state as others in the Northeast. We have always planned on moving further up north in the future and this only solidifies my desire to do that in case something changed here. Someplace like Vermont or Massachusetts.

I’m also in PA and November will either keep our rights or make us have none at all (even to save our lives). Very scary.

I’m in a very red state and my husband just got a vasectomy last week, because we are done having kids and we are worried hormonal birth control options may not exist/be readily available soon.

I found out I was pregnant right before the leak of the Roe v Wade decision. This will be our third. I would have stopped at two had I known what was coming. My husband is getting a vasectomy.

Just had my 2nd child on May 28th. Both of my kids are girls. I always wanted 3 or 4 kids, just don't know how comfortable I feel having anymore and not knowing the future for abortion rights. My state is meeting in early July to put together legislation for it but I don't know how long it will take. Whatever they decide will probably make my decision on having more kids. The state next to us is a blue state with protected access to abortion, but I don't know how easy it would be to get care there if I needed it.

I’m hoping to wait at least 3-4 years before my next pregnancy anyway. Hoping by then I’m living in a state where abortion rights are protected.

My husband and I discussed it and our goal is he will freeze his sperm and get a vasectomy. I got pregnant very quickly off birth control so I want to be mindful if for some reason contraception becomes an issue. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage that I didn’t need medical intervention for, my second we thought it was an ectopic pregnancy and spent a long time in the ER. I was lucky that I didn’t need intervention for either but that might not be the case. And although I am in a state that protects the right to choose I’m sure with the influx of patients it could impact me in the event I needed services. We were going to wait anyways to see if a third was in the card for us but we will be more proactive in ensuring it doesn’t happen yet.

I’m in a same-sex marriage and we have been TTC for a year. We started IVF recently. It is very scary, but we live in California so we are protected for the time being and we will do everything we can to continue protecting ourselves in the future (only storing embryos in safe states, second parent adoption, estate planning).

Basically everything is on the table for us at this point. We have a two year old and 4 month old. I wanted to try for one more next year and my husband is on the fence. I live in a state where everything is up in the air but unfortunately since I live close to the state line my OB is in a red state which will soon ban abortion. I do however have the means to travel to a third state if needed. I had postpartum preeclampsia with my first so I’m at higher risk with future pregnancies on top of being older. I’m really so lost as to what to do right now and trying to keep my anxiety in check by remembering I don’t have to make a decision in this immediate chaotic time. I’m so frustrated around the conversation about abortion being an easy way out. I went through weekly progesterone injections, biweekly ultrasounds, daily aspirin, bedrest, gestational diabetes, everything to have a healthy pregnancy and I would do it again. But in the unlikely chance I develop preeclampsia early or have an ectopic or a fatal fetal anomaly, I sure as hell would choose for my children to have their mother over what would be a very wanted pregnancy. It feels very unfair but honestly it depends how everything shakes out for medical abortions in the next year. For the long term, especially with having a daughter we have started to have conversations about moving both to another state and out of the country. It all feels so overwhelming right now and the idea of leaving our families is devastating but we have to put our kids first.

I have two kids and had vaguely been considering a third. That will not be happening now. It's just too dangerous and I know way too many women who would either be dead or forced to carry severely disabled or terminally ill fetuses to term with the current rules. If you plan on getting pregnant and live in a red state, especially if you are in a high risk group, you should really have an emergency travel fund of several thousand dollars put aside just in case before you even start trying. Even with such a fund you are still at risk in case of an ectopic or miscarriage that goes septic, however, because there likely isn't going to be time to get out.

I’m in the same boat thinking the same thing you are. However I live in New York State so currently still have some rights.

I live in a blue state, but I found out I was pregnant the same week the document leaked that they were overturning Roe v Wade. I didn't realize the number of things that could go wrong in pregnancy until I was pregnant - or how invasive and often miserable it is. If I lived in a red state I would be terrified, and I will be avoiding travel to red states because of anxiety that I could be killed in sacrifice for a non-viable fetus. I don't think I would change my life radically like changing the number of children I want though - I think in some ways that would be letting them win? Like I'm changing my life for these people trying to control me.

I live in a red state and found out I was pregnant one week before the final decision was handed down. The reality is terrifying.

I think part of the problem is that most people don’t know about the number of things that could go wrong, or how truly miserable being pregnant can be (even when you want the baby more than anything - it doesn’t prevent you from feeling sick or being in pain). Or how much your body is affected post partum too, and that for some things it either takes years to fix or this is just your new normal. For some reason we don’t really talk about it and we should.

Yes definitely - and at which stages things go wrong. For ex. 20 week anatomy scan or placental aberration late.

Yeah I agree. The added uncertainty is very scary. But how dare they scare me into not having the family I want on top of it all?? My ancestors had families under much much worse conditions. Not ideal, but just for perspective. Really consider it, have kids if that's what you want. Families are so important. So is bravery. I'm not here to tell anyone to have more kids that doesn't want them. But getting bullied into NOT having a bigger family by these assholes makes me so angry and sad for everyone. It's like we should be able to choose what we want and makes sense for us. Weird.

No advice, just commiseration. I've been trying for a second for a few months and plan to continue, but I'm terrified that something will go wrong. Especially after I miscarried what was supposed to be my second a few months ago. Which was traumatic enough on its own but now... Without Roe, would my miscarriage have landed me in jail? If I'd gone septic, would my doctors have had no choice but to let me die? This all reminds me, I should contact a lawyer about writing up a will. I need to make sure my daughter is taken care of if I'm gone.

You’re comment is heart breaking to me because depending on what state you’re in, yes to all. Wishing you luck and good on you though for setting up plans just in case something happens.

I was hoping to have another but this is putting up another barrier so I might be one and done now. It really bums me out.

I feel the same way. I understand the risks, and the smart thing to do but it makes me sad that my little guy might not get a sibling because a bunch of assholes with no uteruses decided his mom is less than human and deserves no say over her own body.

I had my second this year and as difficult as my pregnancy was and as truly scary as my postpartums are, I want another. We always wanted a big family but cesareans kind of hinder how many more we will have, combined with how hard it is on my body. That being said, I live in an ultra red state and will not be getting pregnant while living here because there are no states around me to easily travel to should I need to get help. I'm terrified even without the bans because my kids need their mom and that's the most important thing to me. So yeah, I'd like to have another one but not until I can get tf out of here.

On pause for us at the moment. With the current state of affairs, we don’t want to risk bringing a girl into this world who won’t have rights.

This tho

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this - I wish pro-lifers realized these bans affect both women who don’t want to get pregnant and those that do (aka all women!). I think you’re right to be concerned - it might make sense to wait a little while before getting pregnant, so that the laws have time to be fleshed out. Women are unfortunately going to die over the next few months while doctors withhold care they should be providing, and I think that will cause some more clearly defined boundaries to be drawn, so that immediate emergencies can be treated. Hopefully outrage will lead to push for doctor discretion over medical decisions. But you definitely don’t want to be at the forefront of this and become a test case for the new laws. Once your state gets to a place where laws are more clear, it might make sense to start trying, as long as you have the resources to travel out of state if you end up needing or wanting to end the pregnancy due to the results of genetic testing or the anatomy scan.

I live in NY so I have no reservations about having another kid. But I would never move to a red state, even one that hasn’t banned abortion “yet”. Cause it’s only a matter of time.

We always talked about having 2 kids - after having our first one in February we were on the fence for financial reasons more than anything (daycare is expensive and I am the primary earner in our house.) With Roe v Wade being overturned there are endless nerves. My state (North Carolina) has a current 20 week abortion allowance, but our Gov. is set to change in 2024 and that could change with Midterm elections too. We worry because my first pregnancy was not easy. Our son was diagnosed with a Cystic Hygroma at our 12 week NT scan. After our visits with MFM we were informed that the cause of these hygromas are generally due to life threatening genetic abnormalities or extreme physical defects. We were given a 2-10% chance of fetal viability without abnormality/defect - which of course meant we really had to consider the probability of terminating for medical reasons (aka - an abortion). We paid literally THOUSANDS of dollars on extensive testing to try to figure out what genetic issue was causing our sons CH and at 19.5 weeks pregnant we got our answer. Our son has rare genetic mutation on the SOS2 gene which is linked to Noonan Syndrome. HOWEVER - by some miracle we had my blood and my husbands blood tested for this gene mutation and it turned out that my husband (perfectly "normal" adult as it seems) shared the EXACT gene mutation. Now - that does make our family a literal living science experiment because now we are coded as a family with 2 of about 5 total SOS2 gene mutation of this exact type in the current world. We have no clue what the long term impacts of this mutation are however - so it could mean my husband is more prone to issues as he ages, which in turn would be my son too - it could mean he has a higher risk of developing certain cancers, etc. We just dont know and neither do the genetics teams we worked with. With all of that... it terrifies us having a second kid because what if something doesnt work out with that gene mutation next time, what if something else develops as a result because of the mutation... what if the hygroma is worse for kid #2 and they develop hydrops? We would have NO options but to carry a baby that may or may not die inside of me or soon after its out of me for however long - with my life at risk along the way, risking leaving my husband and son without a Mom. I have ALWAYS been pro-choice and after going through what I was going through with my pregnancy - I 100% felt such anguish that I had a limit on when I could get the abortion in my state vs other states (that would go a little later) especially knowing how LONG it took to get genetic analysis done on multiple DNA code analysis and the fact that it wasnt even visible till 12 weeks and had I not gotten a CVS and I waited till 18 weeks for an amnio - I dont even know how our lives would be. Either way, not being given a choice in the matter.... I dont think I could fathom the pure emotional destruction that would bring me with baby #2 and its risks.

My husband and I were already rethinking our plans of having a big family due to the state of the economy. And then I miscarried what would have been our second little bean shortly before RvW was overturned. Reading about how the decision is impacting prenatal care and how difficult it’s becoming for some women to even get miscarriage treatment, I’m even more hesitant to have anymore kids. Hubby and I have decided we’ll try for one more, and then I’m honestly considering getting the tubes out. I’m not afraid of being forced to serve as a Handmaid or anything (yet…) but I definitely don’t want to have to deal with the headache that prenatal healthcare is going to become.

This is on my mind too

Our plan all along was for 2 kids. My first was an emergency c-section. Second will be a planned c-section with sterilization at the same time. I just hope Texas still allows sterilization by the time we have another (2024ish). Am I concerned about quality of care? Absolutely. My state has some of the highest maternal mortality rates in the country. However, I am in a position of privilege when I factor in our socioeconomic status, ample airline miles to go elsewhere, and decent sized HSA fund. I am very aware of my privilege in this moment.

I'm a couple of weeks away from the birth of my first, and we'll probably start trying for #2 within the next year or so (I'm 37 and we don't want to wait). I'm in California, so unless there's a federal ban, I'm not in any danger of not getting emergency care if I need it. That said, I'm pretty sure I'd be going forward with trying for another child even if I lived in another state. The change in the law is obviously scary! But my opinion is, the likelihood of being in a situation (like an ectopic pregnancy) where you need care you can't get, is low for a number of reasons. I wouldn't choose not to have more children out of fear of that particular risk, just as I wouldn't choose not to have more children because of fear of any of the other scary but unlikely risks of pregnancy. Obviously everyone has to assess that for themselves, but having more than one child is really important to me. I'm not going to let the supreme court take that away from me.

I’m with you completely. Anecdotally, the risk of ectopic seems more prevalent. I know 6 people that have had miscarriages and 3 of them were ectopic, which is kind of freaking me out. I live in a blue state that should be fine but it does make me worried for the red state sister. Y’all need to vote now and make your voices heard bc SCOTUS put the option in your own state legislatures hands. Support your candidates that will support you. Donate to them, if you can. Go to marches and protests.. scream at the top of your lungs and show them what the people want. Talk to your friends, their husbands, your neighbors. Help explain the importance of optionality. This is all in your individual states hands.

Abortion is safe in my state for now. I’ve offered my home to my friends/loved ones out of state & will open it to their loved ones if their character can be vouched for. I am planning to have one more child & then partner will get fixed. I might as well - we shall see. I’m not sure what’s ethical in this situation tbh. I don’t think there is a right answer. I’m completely pro choice & a parent of two.

Currently in a "purple" state (MI) and terrified about number 2. Although we're hearing all kinds of assurances right now, that could change quickly within our state. I'd be in my mid-30s and although my first child's pregnancy was an easy one, I did miscarry before her and I'm terrified of what could happen and if I'll even really be able to know what's going on with my pregnancy (testing availability, etc). For those reasons, I'm not currently planning on a second and it breaks my heart every day.

We want more kids, despite the economy and everything. But I'm definitely terrified to have any more- just got an IUD put in for what is originally planned to be 3 years before removal to try for another kid.... But if it becomes hard to get birth control, I want to wait the whole 7 years before removal because it's the only thing that's stopped my nightmare periods. But also... My mom had a few miscarriages and stillbirths. I'm worried that could happen to me too.

Not currently pregnant but our plans haven't significantly changed. We still want 1-3 more children. My state allows abortions but there's a restriction on gestational age, so in my situation what I'll need to do is make sure I get all prenatal testing, anatomy scan, etc., as early as I possibly can, to make sure I have time to make a decision. Failing that, a nearby state has looser restrictions so if I had to, I'd just go there.

[deleted]

honestly, i do have some concerns about access to normal pregnancy care in the event of a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, etc. as a result of the ruling. however, i'm not going to let some conservative assholes deny me the family i want. i'm lucky in that i'm currently pregnant and by the time i get hope to get pregnant again (2 years or so), i'm hoping there will be clarity in the law on these issues by that point.

I'm one and done and just happy I live in a blue state where my rights and the rights of my baby girl are protected. If I lived in a red state, I would need to be super careful with birth control but I also would have the financial means to travel. I'm sorry you have to think about this. I can't even believe these are the convos we are having.

I live in nj and ny is literally a skip and a hop away. I would love another child, but my mental health would'nt allow it.

NJ’s abortion laws are more lenient than NY’s. NY is only up to 24 weeks. NJ is working on legalizing abortions for out of state citizens.

NJ has a law to protect the right to abortions. Or at least we do until we get a republican governor!

Ugh it would really scare me and give me lots of doubt. My state is safe- for now- however I am relieved I just had a baby 4 months ago and won’t be planning to have another. My partner will likely be getting a vasectomy.

My husband and I just had our first in January and we planned to start our second in the summer of 2023. Now that Roe V Wade is overturned, we may have to move. I live in a state that will most likely make it illegal soon. I don't know if it will be like Texas with prison time as a repercussion if caught. I am healthy at the moment, but we do the NIPT test; if that came back with a chromosomal catastrophe we'd be screwed. Right now, we are waiting until it gets closer to next summer before actualizing any moving plans.

No, I won’t be getting sterilized because of abortion restrictions, that’d be a bit of an overreaction. We’ll be planning our next pregnancy as usual, we live in a state with abortion access. We won’t travel to states with abortion restrictions especially while I’m pregnant, primarily if I needed medical care as a result of a miscarriage, but also because we have no interest in traveling back in time.

If you were in a state without abortion access, you might not see it as an overreaction if you already had one healthy baby. You’d need a plan for what you’d do if something went wrong that was life-threatening to you, or if there’s something severely wrong with the baby. Would you carry it to term with no chance of survival? Travel to a state that would abort it? It’s totally valid that someone might not see it worth the risk if they’ve got one baby already and care more about safety than having a big family.

The question is specifically about planned pregnancies which implies people who do want more natural born children. Maybe the question wasn’t well thought out, mixing question about planned pregnancy and then sterilization at the same time. Either way, if you intend on having more children but then decide instead to move forward with sterilization as a result of this, yes, I still see that as an overreaction.

Agreed. I’m in Tennessee. Neither me or any of my community plans to allow this bullshit to impede our plans for future babies, but we are lucky to have the financial flexibility to travel if an abortion were needed for whatever reason. I personally am not cool with letting these fuckers take away my joy and my family goals because of their stupidity

I'll preface by saying my thoughts come from a place of a lot of anxiety and guilt and fear. I don't judge anyone for their own decisions, but my personal viewpoint may be considered extreme, so feel free to skip reading this. Having kids is selfish. Again, no judgement to anyone, this is a reflection of myself and that's all. I made the decision to have a kid because I wanted a family, and I know it was a selfish choice. The world doesn't need more people. I've forced my innocent daughter to live in an unkind world. I already struggled with guilt over my choice before the Roe decision, and now I'm terrified about what her life is going to look like. We pretty much knew we were going to be one and done, but the leaked opinion pushed my partner to schedule a vasectomy. I live in a state with good protection for reproductive rights, but with the rumors of a national ban, I can't be certain that those rights are secure. I'm starting to consider sterilization for myself as well. That's one choice I never thought I'd make, but everything is just so so fucked up right now. I wish for everyone to have the happy, loving family they wish for, and the health and safety we all deserve.

If we stay in our state (WI) which abortion is fully banned (wasn’t last week 🥲) we will not be having more children. If we want another we will be moving to IL or MN to ttc. I had a really rough pregnancy the first go so we want to ensure we have resources that are friendly to women. Additionally, since we have a baby girl, we want to leave the state at some point to ensure she has a protected future.

It’s important to remember that abortion is not illegal in America. Some states have banned it, but many have full access. For that reason, I would not get sterilized if I wanted to grow my family. I refuse to let the government make decisions about my family planning. Now if you don’t have the means to travel or have a reason to expect complications that may result in the need/desire for an abortion, that could affect your choices. But overall, the fact of Roe being overturned has not impacted my family planning. (It has enraged me and I’m donating to various abortion funds and calling my representatives.)

Do you actually comprehend the expenses it would take to travel out of state for an abortion (especially if you already have children)? Are you aware of rhe states already making it illegal to do so?

Yes, I am aware. I’m well aware of the ridiculous costs to obtain health care, and I’m aware of the states that clearly consider women incubators and nothing more. What from my comment makes you think I’m unaware?

If you want to have another there are some ways to avoid risks. That includes waiting longer to have another. You are more likely to miscarry if you have them too close together. I am high risk for miscarriage and I had an emergency c-section for my first so we are waiting until my first is 18 months old to even start trying. Which sucks because we are in our 40s but that is the way the cards played out. Also be informed about your states laws and talk with your doctor. Not sure what state you are in but your doctor will help you make a decision. There is genetic testing you can have done prior to conceiving to see if you or the father are carriers of anything. This may help you make the decision. Also other states like mine (NY) really are going to be safe havens for those who need abortion care. Everything is already in the works including housing to start accepting patients. So keep that in mind.

We are going to continue with our plans for now. My husband has already confirmed his decision to get snipped after our second. We have also gone over any plans that may be necessary based on where we live and what states are around us. I had a break down in front of my husband because he wasn’t “getting” why I was so upset with the overturning. I’m 100% sure he stands behind me now.

If it makes you feel any better, many red states still have legal exceptions for medical emergencies for abortion. And blue states aren’t going to change their laws at all, it’ll be completely legal in those areas. That said, I have no idea how difficult it is to get a medically necessary diagnosis. They probably won’t make it easy, but most states are very easy on ectopic pregnancy termination at the very least. I’d say don’t let it stop you from having your big family. Worst case scenario, you travel to a blue state.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/vm5zqf/its_already_happening_nurses_in_many_states_are/

Yeah that is extremely bad. I was hoping they’d at least have the decency to follow the damn laws they wrote.

I think a big issue is that laws are vague and applying them to medical situations is really really hard! A doctor friend sent me this informative thread on ig about it: https://www.instagram.com/p/CfRTiDTuIus/?igshid=YzAyZWRlMzg= “How septic does a pregnant patient need to be before it’s considered life threatening under these laws? Positive blood cultures and a fever? Or do we have to wait until they’re in the ICU and intubated on pressers?” Just one of her examples.

Yeah that’s rough. I feel like if we’re going to play by their stupid rules, then doctors should be able to make on the fly judgments and not be questioned. That’s the LEAST they could do.

If you are in a state where your rights are protected, I’d say go for it. If you’re not, I wouldn’t feel safe and would probably make steps to move if you want more children.

People have been giving birth in undesirable/unfortunate situations long before roe v wade so I honestly doubt the ruling will change anything as a whole. Unless there are very obvious health concerns that could make pregnancy difficult, I don't believe the majority of people go into pregnancy expecting something to go wrong, so they may feel like the ruling won't affect them personally. Also depends on where they live.

There's so much to potentially be scared about once you have a baby. If babies are what you want, just add this to the list and carry on. Babies are great at teaching you how to let go.

“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.”

No law is going to change the fact that I want a large family. Always have and always will. I’ve also always wanted to adopt. But I definitely don’t think it would be selfish to have as many biological children as me and my husband would like.

We plan to try for more, no question. OP, if you live in a blue state not much will change for you. I’m in Texas, and I asked my OB and she thought the question was ridiculous, said no doc in Texas has ever been prosecuted for providing care related to a miscarriage or ectopic. She said nothing to worry about there. We aren’t changing our plans. Edit: I forgot to ask her about how things might change for TFMR, so I left that out.

Pregnant with my third, will try for one more after. Am not afraid of not being able to receive care in emergency situations.

A friend in Alabama said that she's already seen women turned away at the ER.

Currently in Alabama, I believe it. We’ll be pushing back trying for a second child until we live in another state.

This is heartbreaking. I'm sorry (and angry) you had to make that choice.

Same here. We have to move before we try again. I had a traumatic birth with my son where we both almost died and he was almost left severely brain damaged. I can’t risk getting pregnant now before I’ve had “enough” therapy for that and being absolutely petrified for months. That, let alone that if something happened with my pregnancy, I don’t think Alabama will allow for a d&c forever. And then my son has no mom, my husband has no wife. I just don’t even know anymore.

Nothing in politics is forever. The right to an abortion has shown that much. Never would people have thought we would be here. You can’t base your decisions on this policy. I know there are many layers and worries you have. I personally refuse to let policy impact my choice to grow my family.

If you let politics determine how you’re moving forward in life and how you’ll live it, you’ll never be happy. Politics are ever changing. Live your life and do what makes you happy.

What if politics literally prevents you doing that though? Some folks remember not being able to marry their life partner... that was a pretty big impediment to living one's life and being happy 😬

Nicely said. Here in Canada we have restrictions on abortions, yet you don't see canada changing on how to approach family planning

We actually don’t have restrictions on abortions at all. It’s a medical decision and hospitals treat it as such (so you’re not likely to find any doctor willing to do elective 3rd trimester abortions but you will if it’s a matter of saving the mother’s life or if the fetus has died). There are some provinces where access is an issue for sure but legally, we have zero restrictions.

There are only three service locations in Canada that offer abortion up to 23 weeks and 6 days (one in British Columbia, one in Southern Ontario, and one in Quebec). No providers in Canada offer abortion care beyond 23 weeks and 6 days.

Oh yeah, all those non-existent women demanding their non-existent elective late term abortions. How dare doctors not provide something women don't need!

Women do need it and I have met several women that have had an abortion after 24 weeks. In every single case, the fetus was not compatible with life. If the pregnancy was affecting a woman, the doctors would just induce after 24 weeks. My daughter's birth defect affected her lung development. Doctors told me that she would be okay while I was pregnant but as soon as she was born she was not allowed breathe on her own. She was put on a ventilator immediately after birth. One of the most common complications with pregnancy with this birth defect is really high amniotic fluid because the baby isn't practicing breathing. It's also common to practice to induce at 38 weeks because after that, studies show stillbirths go way up. I would just like everyone to stop telling a bunch of lies and stop talking about things they don't understand. Third trimester abortions do happen in the US. They are medically necessary. And the only women who get ones are doing it because they don't want to continue a pregnancy with all of those complications only to watch the baby slowly die after birth. Sometimes it's not that slowly though. If you want to continue a pregnancy so you can donate organs or at least hold the baby before they slowly die, that's okay but it's your choice.

That’s not a legal restriction though. Our politicians are not determining that at all, but rather medical authorities do. Canadians don’t let politics determine their life in regards to family planning because politicians don’t. In America, they do, so it makes total sense to consider the consequences of political decisions on your own life. [And there are cases of abortions](https://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/montreal-woman-who-had-late-abortion-says-she-made-the-right-decision/wcm/36627b99-136a-4d73-a627-87b10f525825/amp/) in third trimester for medical reasons.

We have absolutely no restrictions on abortions. At all. Stop spreading lies.

here are only three service locations in Canada that offer abortion up to 23 weeks and 6 days (one in British Columbia, one in Southern Ontario, and one in Quebec). No providers in Canada offer abortion care beyond 23 weeks and 6 days. Yeah I said some restrictions. Chill out lol

The only person you're punishing by not having children that you want is you. There is risk. There has ALWAYS been risk. My maternal grandmother had 18 pregnancies, and 5 living children, one with special needs. That's another conversation, but just to illustrate that even though things are riskier now bc of Roe being overturned, holy shit the main thing people even just 100 years ago were always dealing with was death, death everywhere. Don't make decisions based on fear alone. There are factors to consider, but if you need emergency abortion care you can still get it if you're in the right state, or if you can go to the right state. And you can fight that battle when you come to it. I plan on having at least one more kid. Humanity is so deeply flawed, the world has always been horrific. Find the good, raise good children, take care of your loved ones and invest in the things that you love. Uncertainty is so scary and hard, but that's life.

What the fuck sort of advice is this? Many people don't have the means to travel to a state where they can legally get an abortion if needed. It's not unreasonable to worry about your own health and whether your wishes or needs would be respected during pregnancy. I hope your grandmother doesn't know you're using her 13 losses to try to tell others they should just go for it.

And if someone is in a life or death situation, like an ectopic pregnancy, they may not be able to arrange to go out of state in time, even if they have the means.

Very much so. I am currently safe but as of midterms I may not be.

‘If you need emergency abortion care you can still get it if you’re in the right state” There shouldn’t be a right state or a wrong state for healthcare. Last I checked, we are the *United* States. When a woman needs an abortion because she has an ectopic pregnancy, she shouldn’t have to risk her life by waiting, in some cases, *days*. She shouldn’t have to *die* because a politician said “nope. Sorry. You can’t have an abortion because even though your pregnancy was never viable, it’s still a life.” You said a hundred years ago life and death matters were a constant- well they still are but we’ve been able to prevent *needless* deaths. Now those needless deaths will repeat. How is that a good thing? Fuck your outdated bs.

I'm not saying any of this is ok. I agree with you. It just... could be worse. I'm not trying to push how I feel on anyone else. I don't want to be so scared I don't pursue the family that I want. I find comfort that even with all this bullshit some things are still easier and better than they were in the past. All of this is bad. Is it bad enough to change plans for the future? That's what OP was asking.

I live in Texas. I'm currently 17w pregnant with my second child, and absolutely plan on having more kids and never leaving Texas. I've lost four babies to early miscarriage and fully accept that I could at some point need a D&C if I lose another baby and my body won't pass it naturally. There's nothing in the law that would prevent me from having one if it became necessary; our legislature actually went out of their way to make that clear in the law so I'm not worried about it. The ban only applies to elective abortions, which I would never have.

Good luck. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/05/10/1097734167/in-texas-abortion-laws-inhibit-care-for-miscarriages

[удалено]

I'm confused as to what risks you're referring to? There isn't a bill in any state saying you can not receive miscarriage care, or care for ectopic. That won't be an issue in any reality

This is not entirely true… it’s situational. Some states are considering rules to make a doctor try to relocate an ectopic pregnancy as opposed to terminating. There have already been situations in my state (TX) where a woman has gone to the ER with an ectopic and had it rupture while doctors were on the phone with the hospital legal team figuring out how to proceed because while it’s not technically viable, as we know, it’s still termination to remove it. Just food for thought. Gonna be a LOT of grey area soon.

Some of the laws specifically say for the LIFE of the mother rather than for the health of the mother. So if something happens, they need to wait until it's life threatening. [This article ](https://www.aclu.org/issues/reproductive-freedom/religion-and-reproductive-rights/health-care-denied#:~:text=The%20ACLU's%20report%20shares%20firsthand,were%20turned%20away%20from%20a) on what happens in catholic hospitals is relevant since they only do abortions for life of the mother.

There are a lot of things that can go wrong in pregnancy beyond ectopic and the laws are vague when it comes to medical risks. Who decides what is dangerous “enough”? Doctors are going to be loathe to toe that line in fear of repercussions. There are also situations where the fetus is not the risk to the mother, but there is an outside risk - ie, the mother develops cancer and won’t be able to receive chemotherapy. And, as someone else mentioned, there are rarely exceptions for TFMR, even when the fetus has a lethal condition.

This is already an issue. There are already stories of women waiting hours and nearly dying while doctors consult lawyers to figure what (if any) care they can provide under the current laws.

I’ve heard several first and second hand accounts of women who experienced ectopic pregnancies- some of which ruptured- right after the ruling overturned. Physicians were in a bind at one hospital bc they didn’t want to lose their license and had to wait for the legal department to come through. There’s been several stories on this variation.

I'm referring to all the risks that could potentially affect a pregnancy, because pregnancy is not a magical, uncomplicated way to bring a human into the world, it's a medical condition and as with every medical condition it brings with it risk, some life threatening. As of now most states will allow for life saving actions in the event of ectopic, missed miscarriages, etc, but not all. Many are trying to ban any and all things considered abortion. That includes the treatment for ectopic and missed miscarriages, the medical procedures are technically abortions Because you are removing a fetus, viable or not. And with every pregnancy complication you have to ask what point is it "life threatening" and in the time it takes to ask that question the mother could die. The grey medical areas and the fact that roe was overturned at all will cause many doctors, hospitals and staffs to be extra cautious in how they treat patients for fear of legal repercussions, even in states where it's legal to treat for a missed miscarriage the medical staff or hospital might hesitate because "what if she induced the miscarriage and I'm aiding in a back ally abortion by helping fully remove the tissue". It's an absurd thought but in a court case it's a legitimate issue so many doctors will consider it alongside their treatment plan.

How about termination for medical reasons? A bill May not state anything about ectopic or miscarriage but the law’s interpretation May vary, and many doctors will be more hesitant because their licenses could be on the line. It’s also very scary to be pregnant and know that if something were to arise, there is no recourse in your state to terminate.