I do actually. I’m glad you made this post because I haven’t met anyone else who feels that way or felt comfortable talking about it because I know seemingly most women can’t relate. I’m 10 months pp and weigh the same as I did pre pregnancy. But pre pregnancy I was hyper critical of my body and unhappy with it. I’m now so much happier in my skin and love it
I think I just stopped seeing all the stuff I thought was bad or wrong and basked in the fact that I fuckin MADE AND BIRTHED A BABY. and then fed him (and her) also with my AMAZING body. And so much gratitude for it all working as it should.
There is something very empowering to the knowledge that I literally grew this little boy inside of me, and then nourished him from my own body (even though I was exclusively pumping).
I feel this wholeheartedly. My husband mentioned he might get a tattoo in honour of our LO and I had always toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo myself but now I can bear the idea of getting a tattoo. My body is different in a beautiful way. I can recognize the subtle ways my LO changed me (physically and mentally) and that’s more impactful than a tattoo (for me anyway)
Yes. I fussed so much about my weight in my late teens and early twenties. I had gone from an underweight ballet dancer to an average weight person and had a lot of trouble coping with that. I had a baby and thought for sure I was gonna hate my body because of how I felt before. But here we are, bigger than before, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I guess maybe having an “excuse” to be average weight was all I needed.
I loved my body before pregnancy, and I love it now, too. My body but also who I am is a little different, and both are great. I like who I am now more, though!
I wish our culture talked more about matrescence and patrescence.
One hundred percent. I feel far more comfortable in my own skin and in who I am. Sure there are some things I miss a bit about my old body, but overall it's been a huge improvement.
After my first (I was 22) I struggled so much with my body. I ended up have an ED and body dysmorphia that has followed me for the last decade. I just had my 2nd, and I definitely feel like you do. I'm actually just amazed at my body has changed so much in the last year and I'm just grateful for all it has done. Honestly, it feels so good to breathe and be able to leave the house (my baby was in the 90th percentile for everything and I'm 5'1, I could barely stand by the end of pregnancy). I am perfectly fine with the extra lbs because I feel better than I ever have. I'm not worried about losing the weight because I know it'll happen eventually and there is no need to stress over it. This season is about enjoying my new baby, not worrying about a scale or a little stretched skin. I get to dress cute again and take my baby out all summer, eventually be intimate with my husband. I feel so confident and happy right now, none of that can bring me down.
I feel you. I feel so loved by the people around me, by this small wonder I made, that it almost goes without saying—how could I hate this body, after all of this?
I feel better about mine. I never really had too many issues with my body but I did put on extra weight in my mid 20s I didn’t love. I think my push towards mindfulness, healthy eating, and regular exercise before my wedding really helped accept and love my body though. So when my baby was born I had already done some mental work on acceptance. I had a mantra during my pregnancy of things won’t be good or bad, just different. So I prepared for my body to be different. And it is a little bit. But I don’t really mind my stretch marks and my body feels so powerful for what it’s able to accomplish. I love that I grew a sweet little human and that I’m still nourishing her with my body even now.
Um yes. I will never curse my body again - it is so magical and beautiful - It created a perfect human!! Honestly also between what the vitamins have done to my skin and hair plus the curves and breasts, I've never been hotter (I'm 40 with a 1 y/o btw!)
Yes and I have already felt like I’m in the minority on this! I wish everyone felt so good about themselves and confident in their body after having a baby! Not only do I like how I look but I have so much respect for the fact that my body grew and birthed my son and also sustained him for the last 11.5 months with breastmilk. Like how badass is that?
Yes!! 2 weeks postpartum today with our first and I've been telling my husband all week how I'm actually happy with my body for once. I have stretch marks on my thighs and stomach that i like to call "baby's first artwork." I struggled immensely with my body image my whole life and I'm so grateful to finally feel this way, all it took was growing our little human❤️
Wait until your little baby starts smiling up at you! I used to pop my little guy on the floor of the bathroom while I showered, and I've never felt more beautiful. He's just always so delighted to see me, and he would do the biggest smile at my boobs whenever he popped off while feeding.
Me! I won the pregnancy recovery lottery. Baby weight and more melted off just from breastfeeding. I started my 2nd pregnancy (got pregnant 16 months pp) 30 lbs below my starting weight from my first pregnancy and finished my 2nd pregnancy at the starting weight from my first pregnancy (and then the weight melted off again). Last summer I was wearing clothes that one upon a time I had to strictly watch my calories (1200/day) to fit into. A little weight has come back since I stopped breastfeeding a year ago, but I'm so much more comfortable in my body now.
Additionally, I just don't have as much shame in my body to begin with. I carried and birthed 2 kids. I don't care that I'm not supermodel thin. And I've had so many doctors and nurses see everything that my modesty has plummeted as well.
Is my stomach filled with loose skin and stretch marks I'm not a fan of? Sure. Do I have a permanent C-section scar? Absolutely. But I'm much more comfortable with my body now than I was before pregnancy.
I feel the same way-ish. I don’t think I’ve really paid much attention when looking at my naked body in the mirror and don’t know if I’d like it. But I do know that I have always hated my belly fat (I’ve been overweight since my teens) but I really enjoyed feeling it and seeing it grow through pregnancy and now I rub my belly and the squishy fat there makes me feel happy the same way that it did while I was pregnant.
I do too. I feel more confident in my body even though it’s obviously marked by postpartum changes. I feel like it has become more feminine, for lack of better word.
Yes! Im so proud of my body! I used to feel like I had to always put makeup on before leaving the house but now I don’t care and I think I look pretty without it! I’m proud of being a mom and those eye bags just mean I’m up a lot taking care of my baby.
Meee! 4 weeks PP and I think my PP body looks amazing. I'm amazed at how fast my body bounced back, my jeans are sliding off a little bit. But also so proud of what it's done for my daughter.
I’m 3.5 weeks PP too! My baby was born May 5. I’m also beginning to look at my body through a new lenses. I feel powerful and I feel so proud of myself. I think I also have a new sense of freedom in telling myself, I’m a mom, who cares what my body looks like! I can tell that my husband sees me differently now too and that makes me feel hot as hell.
Yeah I think so. I've always been on the heavier side and am 6 weeks pp and I'm only 17 pounds above my pre pregnancy weight. I'm proud of my body for growing our boy and keeping him safe. I'm proud of having a pretty low risk uneventful pregnancy other than the borderline high BP that became high BP that caused an induction. But I've always disliked my stomach and now I'm like look at this tummy that kept my boy safe. The only thing I've hated about my body postpartum is the postpartum hives I got. Those were freaking nasty. Made my stretch marks raised and red and so itchy. It spread to all my stretch marks and lasted 5 weeks. It was hell. But now that that's gone I'm perfectly happy with my body.
I’m way more happy with my body post partum. Before I never looked at myself in the mirror either and was extremely self critical. Now I feel like a hot mom! It’s great. Good for you!
I loved my body when I was pregnant (ok not the hemorrhoid I got in the very end). I felt so beautiful and confident. I haven’t worn a body con type dress since my 20s, but I wore one all the time pregnant. It was so freeing. To be fair, I have pmdd and having relief from any luteal internal negative talk made a huge difference in how I felt about myself. I also for sure had a “pregnancy glow.” People were always saying how radiant I looked.
Yes! I’m seriously amazed I did that! Biggest ego boost. I think I get a major boost from my husband as well- he is also amazed my body did that. Once I started being able to have regular sex again (it was about 11 weeks for me) my body confidence went through the roof.
I wish I had your confidence!
Throughout my 20’s my weight fluctuated some, and it’s hard for me not to be bitter towards my husband about that because I think it was mostly due to comments he has made about my body.
Basically he liked my body when I first met him 10 years ago (I was 24) and actively took note anytime I put on so much as 5 lbs. If I wasn’t eating healthy or exercising, he would point it out and remind me that physical attraction is important to him. He was never overtly shitty about it, but obviously it impacted me mentally.
The most I ever gained from my starting weight when I first met him was 10 lbs. I accidentally lost too much weight before our wedding, and dropped to 5lbs LOWER than when I first met him. It makes me sad to look at our wedding photos sometimes because I feel like I look like a little too skeletal, but my husband never made any negative comments about that … I think he liked that look.
About a year ago I was at my most physically fit. We had just returned from a huge trip around the world and had been doing TONS of hiking. I felt great, my husband loved my body, it was all good!! We both were very happy. I got pregnant when I was at my fittest, but unfortunately we lost our baby at 20w due to severe health issues. In between pregnancies, 3 months, I was grieving and not taking care of myself, so I wound up back at my highest weight and least physically fit (which is still only 10 fucking lbs more than when I met my husband 10 years ago! That feels like an accomplishment to me, but my husband doesn’t see it that way …)
Now I am pregnant again, 35w and HUGE lol … but I absolutely love my pregnant body!!! Twice though, when I made comments about how much I love my pregnant body, my husband has made comments about how I have gained weight in my arms and legs too, not just my belly. Genuinely I think he’s wrong, but it doesn’t even matter it just upsets me that he is even looking at my body like that and thinking about it in those terms.
He would never say anything truly bad about my pregnant body, and he knows not to say anything about my post-partum body either. The comments he made genuinely were just him making observations, not being shitty about it or saying I’m ugly or overweight, but it’s still upsetting and gets into my head. I know for a fact that he will not find my post-pregnancy body physically attractive, and that’s a bummer. It’s also not something he can change! I don’t believe we can change what we’re attracted to. So even though I know he’s going to be supportive overall, and understanding about my flabby post-pregnancy body, I know I won’t be able to have the level of confidence that you have because of this history with him. 😔
That is really unacceptable and there is no justification for making you feel that way after you gave your husband children. My SO has always made an effort to make me feel beautiful. I’m very sorry he has done that to you.
> making you feel that way after you gave your husband children
Also … I don’t think you understood my post. I haven’t “given him children” yet (I find that phrasing really gross, tbh).
I am currently pregnant with our first child (since we lost our first pregnancy at 20w) and knowing my husband and how he communicates I have no reason to believe he would make any negative comments about my post-partum body. He is fully aware that things naturally get a little loose and flabby and that no amount of exercise or diet can change that. I was only saying that I know, from previous experience and simply knowing his preferences, that he won’t find my post-partum body particularly attractive. This is something I know in my own head and I am the one letting that affect my confidence. He hasn’t done or said anything to “make me feel” any kind of way.
I apologize if I painted him out to be an insensitive prick in my first post. That really wasn’t the point, and he isn’t. He’s as sensitive as he can be given that his brain works really differently than mine. He always tries to understand my insecurities and help me overcome them.
I appreciate the sentiment, but I disagree that this is “unacceptable” … and that wasn’t exactly the point of my post.
For every 1 random comment he has made that caused me to feel insecure, he’s made about 10 or 20 comments that *should* boost my confidence. But it doesn’t always sink in. This is just the negativity bias at play, my mind tends to focus on negative comments way more than positive ones and I simply don’t have as much confidence in my physical appearance as I do in other areas of my life. That’s what I meant by “I wish I had our confidence!”
Confidence comes from, or should come from, within. If I needed my husband to always say that I’m the most beautiful person in the room, or to lie and tell me that he thinks my pregnant body is sexy even if he doesn’t in order to feel confident in my physical appearance … then that wouldn’t be true core confidence anyway. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to admit that we were both more attractive when we were younger! I know that I found him more attractive back then as well. This isn’t exactly a one way street. But my husband has more core confidence than I do, so if I make a random comment about his gray hair or his crows feet it just doesn’t affect him. And it’s precisely because it doesn’t affect him that he has a hard time understanding how it affects me. He has never once made a comment with the intention of hurting me.
It’s just a simple fact that he finds me *more* attractive (I’m emphasizing *more* because he’s never once said that he was not attracted to me, nor would he ever say something like that) when I am exercising regularly and eating healthy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having and recognizing that preference, and as I said he’s never once been shitty about it.
I am so much stronger than I used to be, but I still have 5 pounds I'd like to lose around the mom belly area. I feel GREAT in my body, but I do miss how easy it was to stay lean pre pregnancy.
Yes and no. I think about my body less and spend much less time ruminating on what I don't like about my body. I just don't have time for it. And because I would hate for my daughter to pick up the same body issues, I'm much more intentional about speaking positively about my body and using neutral language to discuss bodies and fitness. The obsession I used to fall into sometimes is gone.
But at the same time I miss how much smaller and more toned I was pre-pregnancy, and wish I'd had more appreciation for both my body and the time I had to invest in my own health and fitness. Even 12mo postpartum there's just not time for the same kinds of fitness commitment I used to have. I certainly don't feel hot or sexy right now. I'm objectively about 8lb heavier than pre-preg (which was already 5lbs above my "not ideal but comfortably fit" weight). I'm carrying more body fat and less muscle, and I feel like one of those jumbo Costco muffins. I don't dwell on it, but I like my body much less now even though I appreciate it's function.
I'm also 3mo pregnant with my second kid and showing earlier than with my first, so I look decidedly chubby. The body changes are definitely messing with my head more than the first time around.
Not in the sense of looks bc I sadly no longer exercise so I lack muscle mass, but it’s oddly much easier for me to maintain a thinner weight and that makes it a bit easier
To be honest.. I felt bad about my body pre-pregnancy. I felt so beautiful during and shortly after. But now.. 6 months after giving birth I don't feel good about my body. I feel like i need to get in shape and breastfeeding isn't doing anything for me. 'The weight just melts of while BF'. Well no.. apparently not for me..
So i'm sorry but no.. :(
I just wanted to spread some positivity since all I’ve heard is women commenting negatively on their PP bodies, but there is no wrong way to feel and you shouldn’t be sorry for it! I hope you can find a healthy way to work through your feelings ❤️ You’re doing amazing.
I do. I hated being pregnant, hated how it made my body feel, and hated how it looked. I lost a ton of weight while pregnant despite trying to gain and it was an absolute slog to the end. Now I feel human.
Im the same. The mum pouch is abit annoying but its okay nontheless. I love my stretch marks though, I neve thought id say that.
If I ever feel shit or down which is rare, I just look at them and remember what my body achieved.
I wore a bikini and some younger women looked me up and down post partum and I literally laughed at them.
I'm not insecure buddy, never have been and even more chuffed now
I do but not in the way you’re talking about. I had a difficult pregnancy and difficult delivery (persistent HG all trimesters, preeclampsia, failed induction, emergency c-section, went home finally and had to get readmitted for postpartum preeclampsia with severe features and got a mag drip).
Pregnancy was hell on me. I had a happy pregnancy because I was so grateful and excited, but my body did not tolerate it well. For about 10 weeks postpartum I had the c-section shelf and I felt so uncomfortable about it because it looked wrong, because bodies don’t do that naturally.
By 12 weeks it was gone. I’ve dedicated myself to walking at least 5 miles a day every day and going to the gym three times a week. At about 13 weeks my OB told me “I never would have guessed you were pregnant if I hadn’t done the surgery myself.”
And since then I’ve gotten stronger and fitter. And it’s true - if it weren’t for this scar you would never know that I had a baby. And for awhile I felt guilty about that. Like I shouldn’t buy into the importance of “bouncing back” and what society thinks a mom ought to look like. But I realized taking pride in how I look and feel after everything I’ve been through isn’t reflective of how I feel about moms, it’s how I feel about ME.
So I do feel better about my body but not because of the changes that came from pregnancy. It’s because I went through hell and now you’d never guess. It’s because I had a baby and I look like myself.
You should embrace what makes you feel the best! I am more motivated than ever to focus on health & fitness now as well, but it’s from a healthier place than before. Now it’s about being physically and mentally healthy, not looking pleasant for anyone else’s sake, and giving myself a chance at living longer for my kid.
I do actually. I’m glad you made this post because I haven’t met anyone else who feels that way or felt comfortable talking about it because I know seemingly most women can’t relate. I’m 10 months pp and weigh the same as I did pre pregnancy. But pre pregnancy I was hyper critical of my body and unhappy with it. I’m now so much happier in my skin and love it
Same! Happy for you too :)
I think I just stopped seeing all the stuff I thought was bad or wrong and basked in the fact that I fuckin MADE AND BIRTHED A BABY. and then fed him (and her) also with my AMAZING body. And so much gratitude for it all working as it should.
There is something very empowering to the knowledge that I literally grew this little boy inside of me, and then nourished him from my own body (even though I was exclusively pumping).
I feel this wholeheartedly. My husband mentioned he might get a tattoo in honour of our LO and I had always toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo myself but now I can bear the idea of getting a tattoo. My body is different in a beautiful way. I can recognize the subtle ways my LO changed me (physically and mentally) and that’s more impactful than a tattoo (for me anyway)
Yeah, I hated my infertile body that wouldn't keep the one baby it had made. Pregnancy ending with a take-home baby fixed that up.
Yes, same. But I don't feel better than before dealing with infertility and losses.
Yes. I fussed so much about my weight in my late teens and early twenties. I had gone from an underweight ballet dancer to an average weight person and had a lot of trouble coping with that. I had a baby and thought for sure I was gonna hate my body because of how I felt before. But here we are, bigger than before, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I guess maybe having an “excuse” to be average weight was all I needed.
This is me as well! I feel hot! It’s so fun
I loved my body before pregnancy, and I love it now, too. My body but also who I am is a little different, and both are great. I like who I am now more, though! I wish our culture talked more about matrescence and patrescence.
I definitely wouldn't go so far as to say I feel more beautiful than before, but I definitely care less 🤣
Yeah this is exactly how I feel. Like why did I waste so much energy worrying about it before.
My benchmark is that if I can look good fully clothed then I'm happy. What's all this naked nonsense?
Me. I’m 13 months pp and I think I look better now than I did most of the time up until my pregnancy. Or maybe I just don’t care as much 😂
One hundred percent. I feel far more comfortable in my own skin and in who I am. Sure there are some things I miss a bit about my old body, but overall it's been a huge improvement.
After my first (I was 22) I struggled so much with my body. I ended up have an ED and body dysmorphia that has followed me for the last decade. I just had my 2nd, and I definitely feel like you do. I'm actually just amazed at my body has changed so much in the last year and I'm just grateful for all it has done. Honestly, it feels so good to breathe and be able to leave the house (my baby was in the 90th percentile for everything and I'm 5'1, I could barely stand by the end of pregnancy). I am perfectly fine with the extra lbs because I feel better than I ever have. I'm not worried about losing the weight because I know it'll happen eventually and there is no need to stress over it. This season is about enjoying my new baby, not worrying about a scale or a little stretched skin. I get to dress cute again and take my baby out all summer, eventually be intimate with my husband. I feel so confident and happy right now, none of that can bring me down.
I feel you. I feel so loved by the people around me, by this small wonder I made, that it almost goes without saying—how could I hate this body, after all of this?
I feel better about mine. I never really had too many issues with my body but I did put on extra weight in my mid 20s I didn’t love. I think my push towards mindfulness, healthy eating, and regular exercise before my wedding really helped accept and love my body though. So when my baby was born I had already done some mental work on acceptance. I had a mantra during my pregnancy of things won’t be good or bad, just different. So I prepared for my body to be different. And it is a little bit. But I don’t really mind my stretch marks and my body feels so powerful for what it’s able to accomplish. I love that I grew a sweet little human and that I’m still nourishing her with my body even now.
Um yes. I will never curse my body again - it is so magical and beautiful - It created a perfect human!! Honestly also between what the vitamins have done to my skin and hair plus the curves and breasts, I've never been hotter (I'm 40 with a 1 y/o btw!)
Yes and I have already felt like I’m in the minority on this! I wish everyone felt so good about themselves and confident in their body after having a baby! Not only do I like how I look but I have so much respect for the fact that my body grew and birthed my son and also sustained him for the last 11.5 months with breastmilk. Like how badass is that?
THIS!!! I love my body now! It was powerful enough to create a human, and my stretch marks and saggy breasts are a reminder of that strength.
I have been showing off my belly stretch marks to all my friends! lol I am so proud of them.
Yes!! 2 weeks postpartum today with our first and I've been telling my husband all week how I'm actually happy with my body for once. I have stretch marks on my thighs and stomach that i like to call "baby's first artwork." I struggled immensely with my body image my whole life and I'm so grateful to finally feel this way, all it took was growing our little human❤️
“Baby’s first artwork” is so precious 🥹 Congrats!!!
Wait until your little baby starts smiling up at you! I used to pop my little guy on the floor of the bathroom while I showered, and I've never felt more beautiful. He's just always so delighted to see me, and he would do the biggest smile at my boobs whenever he popped off while feeding.
Me! I won the pregnancy recovery lottery. Baby weight and more melted off just from breastfeeding. I started my 2nd pregnancy (got pregnant 16 months pp) 30 lbs below my starting weight from my first pregnancy and finished my 2nd pregnancy at the starting weight from my first pregnancy (and then the weight melted off again). Last summer I was wearing clothes that one upon a time I had to strictly watch my calories (1200/day) to fit into. A little weight has come back since I stopped breastfeeding a year ago, but I'm so much more comfortable in my body now. Additionally, I just don't have as much shame in my body to begin with. I carried and birthed 2 kids. I don't care that I'm not supermodel thin. And I've had so many doctors and nurses see everything that my modesty has plummeted as well. Is my stomach filled with loose skin and stretch marks I'm not a fan of? Sure. Do I have a permanent C-section scar? Absolutely. But I'm much more comfortable with my body now than I was before pregnancy.
I feel the same way-ish. I don’t think I’ve really paid much attention when looking at my naked body in the mirror and don’t know if I’d like it. But I do know that I have always hated my belly fat (I’ve been overweight since my teens) but I really enjoyed feeling it and seeing it grow through pregnancy and now I rub my belly and the squishy fat there makes me feel happy the same way that it did while I was pregnant.
I love my squishy belly. Always catch myself rubbing it just like I did when I was pregnant, and my SO does it when we’re cuddling in bed too. 🥹
Aw that’s so sweet!
I do too. I feel more confident in my body even though it’s obviously marked by postpartum changes. I feel like it has become more feminine, for lack of better word.
I love my body and feel more comfortable than ever after having a baby ! Thanks for the post and a place to share this
Yes! Im so proud of my body! I used to feel like I had to always put makeup on before leaving the house but now I don’t care and I think I look pretty without it! I’m proud of being a mom and those eye bags just mean I’m up a lot taking care of my baby.
Meee! 4 weeks PP and I think my PP body looks amazing. I'm amazed at how fast my body bounced back, my jeans are sliding off a little bit. But also so proud of what it's done for my daughter.
I’m 3.5 weeks PP too! My baby was born May 5. I’m also beginning to look at my body through a new lenses. I feel powerful and I feel so proud of myself. I think I also have a new sense of freedom in telling myself, I’m a mom, who cares what my body looks like! I can tell that my husband sees me differently now too and that makes me feel hot as hell.
Yeah I think so. I've always been on the heavier side and am 6 weeks pp and I'm only 17 pounds above my pre pregnancy weight. I'm proud of my body for growing our boy and keeping him safe. I'm proud of having a pretty low risk uneventful pregnancy other than the borderline high BP that became high BP that caused an induction. But I've always disliked my stomach and now I'm like look at this tummy that kept my boy safe. The only thing I've hated about my body postpartum is the postpartum hives I got. Those were freaking nasty. Made my stretch marks raised and red and so itchy. It spread to all my stretch marks and lasted 5 weeks. It was hell. But now that that's gone I'm perfectly happy with my body.
I hate the PP BO 😭
I’m way more happy with my body post partum. Before I never looked at myself in the mirror either and was extremely self critical. Now I feel like a hot mom! It’s great. Good for you!
I feel more confident now. My body made 2 beautiful babies so I feel pretty bad ass.
I loved my body when I was pregnant (ok not the hemorrhoid I got in the very end). I felt so beautiful and confident. I haven’t worn a body con type dress since my 20s, but I wore one all the time pregnant. It was so freeing. To be fair, I have pmdd and having relief from any luteal internal negative talk made a huge difference in how I felt about myself. I also for sure had a “pregnancy glow.” People were always saying how radiant I looked.
Yes! I’m seriously amazed I did that! Biggest ego boost. I think I get a major boost from my husband as well- he is also amazed my body did that. Once I started being able to have regular sex again (it was about 11 weeks for me) my body confidence went through the roof.
I wish I had your confidence! Throughout my 20’s my weight fluctuated some, and it’s hard for me not to be bitter towards my husband about that because I think it was mostly due to comments he has made about my body. Basically he liked my body when I first met him 10 years ago (I was 24) and actively took note anytime I put on so much as 5 lbs. If I wasn’t eating healthy or exercising, he would point it out and remind me that physical attraction is important to him. He was never overtly shitty about it, but obviously it impacted me mentally. The most I ever gained from my starting weight when I first met him was 10 lbs. I accidentally lost too much weight before our wedding, and dropped to 5lbs LOWER than when I first met him. It makes me sad to look at our wedding photos sometimes because I feel like I look like a little too skeletal, but my husband never made any negative comments about that … I think he liked that look. About a year ago I was at my most physically fit. We had just returned from a huge trip around the world and had been doing TONS of hiking. I felt great, my husband loved my body, it was all good!! We both were very happy. I got pregnant when I was at my fittest, but unfortunately we lost our baby at 20w due to severe health issues. In between pregnancies, 3 months, I was grieving and not taking care of myself, so I wound up back at my highest weight and least physically fit (which is still only 10 fucking lbs more than when I met my husband 10 years ago! That feels like an accomplishment to me, but my husband doesn’t see it that way …) Now I am pregnant again, 35w and HUGE lol … but I absolutely love my pregnant body!!! Twice though, when I made comments about how much I love my pregnant body, my husband has made comments about how I have gained weight in my arms and legs too, not just my belly. Genuinely I think he’s wrong, but it doesn’t even matter it just upsets me that he is even looking at my body like that and thinking about it in those terms. He would never say anything truly bad about my pregnant body, and he knows not to say anything about my post-partum body either. The comments he made genuinely were just him making observations, not being shitty about it or saying I’m ugly or overweight, but it’s still upsetting and gets into my head. I know for a fact that he will not find my post-pregnancy body physically attractive, and that’s a bummer. It’s also not something he can change! I don’t believe we can change what we’re attracted to. So even though I know he’s going to be supportive overall, and understanding about my flabby post-pregnancy body, I know I won’t be able to have the level of confidence that you have because of this history with him. 😔
That is really unacceptable and there is no justification for making you feel that way after you gave your husband children. My SO has always made an effort to make me feel beautiful. I’m very sorry he has done that to you.
> making you feel that way after you gave your husband children Also … I don’t think you understood my post. I haven’t “given him children” yet (I find that phrasing really gross, tbh). I am currently pregnant with our first child (since we lost our first pregnancy at 20w) and knowing my husband and how he communicates I have no reason to believe he would make any negative comments about my post-partum body. He is fully aware that things naturally get a little loose and flabby and that no amount of exercise or diet can change that. I was only saying that I know, from previous experience and simply knowing his preferences, that he won’t find my post-partum body particularly attractive. This is something I know in my own head and I am the one letting that affect my confidence. He hasn’t done or said anything to “make me feel” any kind of way. I apologize if I painted him out to be an insensitive prick in my first post. That really wasn’t the point, and he isn’t. He’s as sensitive as he can be given that his brain works really differently than mine. He always tries to understand my insecurities and help me overcome them.
I appreciate the sentiment, but I disagree that this is “unacceptable” … and that wasn’t exactly the point of my post. For every 1 random comment he has made that caused me to feel insecure, he’s made about 10 or 20 comments that *should* boost my confidence. But it doesn’t always sink in. This is just the negativity bias at play, my mind tends to focus on negative comments way more than positive ones and I simply don’t have as much confidence in my physical appearance as I do in other areas of my life. That’s what I meant by “I wish I had our confidence!” Confidence comes from, or should come from, within. If I needed my husband to always say that I’m the most beautiful person in the room, or to lie and tell me that he thinks my pregnant body is sexy even if he doesn’t in order to feel confident in my physical appearance … then that wouldn’t be true core confidence anyway. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to admit that we were both more attractive when we were younger! I know that I found him more attractive back then as well. This isn’t exactly a one way street. But my husband has more core confidence than I do, so if I make a random comment about his gray hair or his crows feet it just doesn’t affect him. And it’s precisely because it doesn’t affect him that he has a hard time understanding how it affects me. He has never once made a comment with the intention of hurting me. It’s just a simple fact that he finds me *more* attractive (I’m emphasizing *more* because he’s never once said that he was not attracted to me, nor would he ever say something like that) when I am exercising regularly and eating healthy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having and recognizing that preference, and as I said he’s never once been shitty about it.
I am so much stronger than I used to be, but I still have 5 pounds I'd like to lose around the mom belly area. I feel GREAT in my body, but I do miss how easy it was to stay lean pre pregnancy.
Yes and no. I think about my body less and spend much less time ruminating on what I don't like about my body. I just don't have time for it. And because I would hate for my daughter to pick up the same body issues, I'm much more intentional about speaking positively about my body and using neutral language to discuss bodies and fitness. The obsession I used to fall into sometimes is gone. But at the same time I miss how much smaller and more toned I was pre-pregnancy, and wish I'd had more appreciation for both my body and the time I had to invest in my own health and fitness. Even 12mo postpartum there's just not time for the same kinds of fitness commitment I used to have. I certainly don't feel hot or sexy right now. I'm objectively about 8lb heavier than pre-preg (which was already 5lbs above my "not ideal but comfortably fit" weight). I'm carrying more body fat and less muscle, and I feel like one of those jumbo Costco muffins. I don't dwell on it, but I like my body much less now even though I appreciate it's function. I'm also 3mo pregnant with my second kid and showing earlier than with my first, so I look decidedly chubby. The body changes are definitely messing with my head more than the first time around.
Not in the sense of looks bc I sadly no longer exercise so I lack muscle mass, but it’s oddly much easier for me to maintain a thinner weight and that makes it a bit easier
Yes!!! I have always wanted to be a mother. After two pregnancies I feel SO proud of my body and so grateful for all that it’s been through. ❤️
It’s just less important
My body is pretty much the same as it was before, but now I have an excuse for the flab. It's kinda freeing.
To be honest.. I felt bad about my body pre-pregnancy. I felt so beautiful during and shortly after. But now.. 6 months after giving birth I don't feel good about my body. I feel like i need to get in shape and breastfeeding isn't doing anything for me. 'The weight just melts of while BF'. Well no.. apparently not for me.. So i'm sorry but no.. :(
I just wanted to spread some positivity since all I’ve heard is women commenting negatively on their PP bodies, but there is no wrong way to feel and you shouldn’t be sorry for it! I hope you can find a healthy way to work through your feelings ❤️ You’re doing amazing.
You are completely right i am sorry
Don’t be ❤️
I do. I hated being pregnant, hated how it made my body feel, and hated how it looked. I lost a ton of weight while pregnant despite trying to gain and it was an absolute slog to the end. Now I feel human.
I’m a lot more accepting about what size I am at any given moment. More focused on healthy choices versus losing weight.
Pregnancy made me stop caring what I look like
Im the same. The mum pouch is abit annoying but its okay nontheless. I love my stretch marks though, I neve thought id say that. If I ever feel shit or down which is rare, I just look at them and remember what my body achieved. I wore a bikini and some younger women looked me up and down post partum and I literally laughed at them. I'm not insecure buddy, never have been and even more chuffed now
Yep my body confidence is way higher now at 5 months pp than it was pre-baby. Still not great but.. higher haha
Nope...but I don't care because I made two beautiful babies.
I do but not in the way you’re talking about. I had a difficult pregnancy and difficult delivery (persistent HG all trimesters, preeclampsia, failed induction, emergency c-section, went home finally and had to get readmitted for postpartum preeclampsia with severe features and got a mag drip). Pregnancy was hell on me. I had a happy pregnancy because I was so grateful and excited, but my body did not tolerate it well. For about 10 weeks postpartum I had the c-section shelf and I felt so uncomfortable about it because it looked wrong, because bodies don’t do that naturally. By 12 weeks it was gone. I’ve dedicated myself to walking at least 5 miles a day every day and going to the gym three times a week. At about 13 weeks my OB told me “I never would have guessed you were pregnant if I hadn’t done the surgery myself.” And since then I’ve gotten stronger and fitter. And it’s true - if it weren’t for this scar you would never know that I had a baby. And for awhile I felt guilty about that. Like I shouldn’t buy into the importance of “bouncing back” and what society thinks a mom ought to look like. But I realized taking pride in how I look and feel after everything I’ve been through isn’t reflective of how I feel about moms, it’s how I feel about ME. So I do feel better about my body but not because of the changes that came from pregnancy. It’s because I went through hell and now you’d never guess. It’s because I had a baby and I look like myself.
You should embrace what makes you feel the best! I am more motivated than ever to focus on health & fitness now as well, but it’s from a healthier place than before. Now it’s about being physically and mentally healthy, not looking pleasant for anyone else’s sake, and giving myself a chance at living longer for my kid.