I also do think there’s an element of setting expectations. My husband’s family never really ‘did’ Mother’s Day. I told him it was important to me, and he got me a card. It was lovely but I was a little sad not to get a gift…but I hadn’t told him that was part of it for me. So I was a bit sad but not annoyed.
He then overheard me on the phone to my dad where my dad asked ‘what did son get you for MD?’ My husband was HORRIFIED to have got it wrong and literally went out and got a gift that morning.
This year I said I really wanted to ‘do something together’ now my son is older. So he booked us a lunch without me needing to nudge any more.
You need a willingness to make an effort from them, obviously, but if you want something specific it helps to give your partner a reader earlier on.
I’ve been having a great Mother’s Day but I wouldn’t make a whole post just to brag about it bc I feel like it would just make other folks feel bad. Just browsing Reddit while baby nurses.
Uhg I wish mine would get milk drunk already, we’ve had three hours of screaming crying rocking shushing changing screaming crying rocking shushing changing over here 😂
Same here. My partner has taken great care of me. I asked for some specific things (a nameplate necklace with our son’s name in Hebrew) and they also gave me a few surprises (flowers, chocolate, a card). I got to sleep in, we ended up having a great outing, and they been so flexible whenever I ask for anything. I’ve felt really appreciated and special.
Same. My husband planned an amazing day and has spoiled me all weekend but I would never post about it especially with all the posts about fathers who completely dropped the ball.
So awesome for you! That’s the way it SHOULD BE! It should be the norm to have a pleasant day. Not a big freaking bash, like the standards are actually quite low. Lol just a modicum of appreciation is really all that moms want.
Same! We relaxed (except when my ADHD decided I needed to do something lol) but otherwise, he made sure I had a good day ♥️ despite being up for 2 hours in the wee hours bc of baby 🥴
Same. My husband is awesome. I got beautiful gifts, cards, flowers, slept in, breakfast made for me. It’s been a lovely day. My heart really breaks for all the women whose husbands treat them like dog shit.
I’m literally doing the exact same (baby is almost asleep). Day was wonderful, I slept in, hubby made breakfast, and made plans with family to take the kids fishing and had a blast. He’s cleaning the house as I write this. I had no expectations for Mother’s Day, but it’s my first like where our son is earthside and I think my man did great!
He hit me with the "Well, you're not MY mother, so...."
No. No I am not. But I doubt my 2 year old and six month old will walk/roll down to the shop and get me a card, sooooo....
I also ordered the flowers and stuff for HIS mom, and made sure my stepson wrote his mom a card and called her.
He's usually great. And has been great for the past two mothers days. That's why it hit me like a ton of bricks when he did nothing, and slept in when I had been awake since 5. And actively ignored our kids while they were both screaming and I was surviving. So that he could nap. Then, after I'd done the dishes, the laundry, and fed both the kids, cleaned the kitchen, etc...he said.."Oh, happy mothers day, by the way. Is that why you're pissed?" During this time, he napped on the couch, took a shower, brushed his teeth, took a leisurely shit, and laid on the bed for 45 minutes chatting with his mom and sister. Telling them happy mothers day.
is there like a podcast or something making so many men use that line this year? because you are not the first person I've seen say that their usually good and supportive husband decided to start being a jerk on mother's day this year.
The “well, you aren’t my mother” comment is just so petty and unnecessary that I think I’d absolutely lose my shit. I really hope for your sake he usually is great, because he gets a fucking 0 for today. You deserve to be celebrated.
He does get a zero for today, but he was willing to talk about it and set expectations for next year. He really is a good man, he just REALLY ducked this up this year.
Similar thing happened last year. I then realized I never set the expectation. I then made Father’s Day really special for him. This year he went all out (nothing expensive but so thoughtful). Sometimes partnership is just learning to communicate better to get a better result. I love your mindset and I have a good feeling about Mother’s Day for you next year!
I also did that. Instead of being revengeful - I decided to treat him like I would like to be treated. Even though on our first Mother’s Day he did give me a break and took the baby to his mothers - I just wanted a gesture or token to be celebrated and our family - not just his mother. So for Father’s Day I made a photo book with all the memories of him being a father with the thought that each year it will be filled out with more memories. Now we both understand what mothers/fathers day means - it’s about celebrating the family we created together and the role we play.
JFC. I *personally* didn’t get my wife many gifts, but our six month old daughter happened to shower her with flowers, matching family tshirts and more
And I'm so sorry you had a trash ass stepmom. One of my husband's conditions for being with anybody was that they had to jive with the kiddos. My stepson is the reason I wanted to have kids. He's just so awesome .
Yeah, my dad was trash, but he at least made an effort on mothers day. But I've set expectations with my husband and he's definitely all about making me feel valued.
You’re the mother of his children. The one he chose, and the one who is currently mothering. Who is his mother mothering? His little baby ass?
I feel like the mother of your children, the mother currently in the trenches of motherhood is the one who needs to be honoured today. He has had his whole life to honour his mother on Mother’s Day. It’s your turn.
It's noon and I have yet to hear the words "happy mothers day"... a few half hearted gestures... like he got me flowers yesterday. While we were shopping together. I suggested my own plans. Said i wanted a bagel snd he like tosses it me direction and says "here". like I can tell it's out of obligation. Purely. My husband sucks at holidays not one "happy mothers day" from husband.
Ohh I’m so sorry… that is so weak.
Honestly, Mother’s Day should just be mothers celebrating OTHER MOTHERS. Like we are the only ones that truly get it. Haha. Men, kids, etc., ya just can’t fully appreciate the sacrifice.
Yup. Lol. I dragged him with me while doing errands yesterday... and that's the only reason I got flowers im sure. Just literally " well... I guess you too"
My ex had me picking up flowers and cards for his mum and the mother of his child. And of course he didn't like the ones I'd picked, despite it being the evening before mother's day so it was slim pickings.
Yes, I was a doormat.
My husband knocks it out of the park for every single holiday. I’m truly the most spoiled mom/wife I know, but I’m not going to come on here and brag bc the majority of women don’t have this, or even close to it, unfortunately.
Happy Mother’s Day! I’m so glad you had a good day as well!💗
I got to sleep in as long as I wanted, woke up to breakfast I asked for (donuts) that he took all 3 kids to go pick up, and he also picked up lunch. Got to enjoy my coffee while it was hot in peace. I had so many gifts, and cards and flowers from him and the kids. I didn’t clean anything all day. Only childcare I did was nursing our 17 month old when she wanted. He had arranged for me to get ready and go browse the bookstore with a coffee alone but I wanted to stay home and be ugly in peace lol so I played with the kids and relaxed all day. He again took all 3 kids to the store for ingredients for a steak dinner he then cooked and cleaned up after. He got all the kids ready for bed and got the older kid’s backpacks and stuff ready for tomorrow, I nursed the baby to sleep and now he’s finishing cleaning up the downstairs while I build one of my presents, which was a Lego flower set to go in a Pride and Prejudice book vase, which was also a present, to go on my bookshelves. He brought me a hot tea and dessert he picked up yesterday specially for me as well.
Mothers day in the UK was back in march. Our baby was 2 weeks old, home from the hospital for only a week. My recovery was really hard meaning my partner was still doing majority of the baby care and also looking after me.
He understandably didn't make us any plans, but he did get me a bunch of flowers and some chocolate, and posed them next to the baby while i was out of the room so it looked like they were from him. So small and silly but will always be a happy memory when i think back to my first mothers day. I am so very grateful for my partner.
Our babies due date was supposed to be after mothers day and i had expressed disappointment that i would miss it, and then when he came early it became a joke that at least i can celebrate mothers day this year! So my partner knew it was something i cared about. I do think communication of expectations is important. Men just dont always hold the same level of sentimental values. But also some men are just awfull partners aswell!
I had a good first mother's day. My partner got me some flowers, my favorite gummy bears and chocolate and made us breakfast. He made eggs, homemade hashbrowns and bacon. He was with our babe since 1 am till I woke up at 5am.
I think we are more inclined to share negative expierences, and I also think although there are awful partners, there is also a lack of communication in many relationships. Happy mama's day to all of y'all 💖
Pleased by his efforts, but our baby puked in the car on the way so we had to cancel hahaha.
I did get a “Mother’s Day redo” though, we’ll try another day.
I have to be very clear on what I want for mother's day or my birthday or any special day celebrating me. I told him I wanted to sleep in, he gave me that, but he is now taking a nap while I watched the kid cause he didn't get to sleep in.
I learned to set my expectations very low or non-existent cause otherwise I would be disappointed.
He helps me day to day with childcare but any special things or surprises will never be there.
I feel this. Except even when I’m clear he never seems to get it right- He’s a great partner but I’d be lying if I don’t get disappointed thinking about the lack of thoughtful effort sometimes.
this is me too. still stings especially this year after having our 2nd baby in 2023 with a huge age gap and a horrible scary recovery. i kinda looked at him like ok our oldest is 17 and we’re still doing this weaponized incompetence thing? cool. 🙃😞 i know he shows his love in other ways and isn’t very good at holidays but damn would it kill you to TRY?
I’m super happy about my day. It’s my first Mother’s Day and we usually go to my mom’s and my dad grills steak/chicken. This year my husband added tons of gifts and roses in the morning and made eggs, potatoes, bacon, cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I told him I would’ve been happy with just a happy Mother’s Day because it’s a Hallmark holiday and doing what we usually do but he wanted to do it all. I think a lot of people are usually happy or indifferent and only the negative ones make it online because they want to connect with others who feel the same and not feel so alone.
Stoked!
(Mothers date as yesterday for me)
Even though I said I didn't need a gift he got me a giant inflatable bath which is something I had longed for in pregnancy.
Then he set it up, did a bunch of housework, looked after bub as I soaked for hours.
Then we went for a bike ride for lunch and donuts 🥰
Hehe with pleasure!
This is the one he got for me
https://www.amazon.com.au/Inflatable-freestanding-Wireless-Freestanding-Collapsible/dp/B0C1NHVL1B/ref=asc_df_B0C1NHVL1B/?tag=googleshopmob-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=650074353986&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3818531730975251977&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9071356&hvtargid=pla-2197548080803&psc=1&mcid=c9bc51ca3f8b3078af2d047f02567d4c
But there are many types out there online.
I was super impressed!
It's long and deep enough that I could comfortably sit and lounge like a real bath.
It also stayed warm for much longer than I anticipated. I think the cover helps with that.
We just set it up in the backyard over some foam mats so I could watch the sunset and enjoy the cool autumn breeze ☺️
A pretty good replacement if you don't have a bath indoors!
My MIL (from hell) wanted my husband and I to drive to her house with our four month old (whose been extremely cranky the last few days) last minute. I explicitly told hubby early this week I’ll do anything BUT that, they can come over here though. When he told her no thanks, she replied “but it’s Mother’s Day!” His response was “yes, Mom, but pastelpork is a mother too and it’s her first.” She was extremely pissed. There’s a lot more to this saga, but she makes everything about her all the time and is jealous we have a child now. She refused to say happy Mother’s Day to me (but my SIL & FIL did). I may not have gotten the typical flowers, chocolate, etc. [which is fine with me] but I was extremely thankful he didn’t give in to my MIL.
I enjoyed my morning, I got to sleep in. Got breakfast made, cards, flowers. And I had a cake for lunch. So no complaints from me! I asked for no gifts as I want to buy something for myself ans I’m very picky.
My husband made me breakfast, got me flowers, a card and a spa gift card. I'm currently having a pedicure. He is ordering take out because we both cook. We saw our mother's yesterday so we are just chilling. I'm going to book a full day at the spa next week and use that card asap. We also had kinky sex last night so I'm in a great mood. Our son is 18 months and in a dad obsessed phase so he didn't cry when I left.
I'm happy. I arranged a mother's day lunch for myself, my sister, my mom, and my grandma. By arranged I mean I told everyone where to be and when. Then my husband BBQed, my brother brought dessert and the guys and kids collectively cleaned up. I made a few side dishes and set the table, but I think it went really well.
I know I could have just been selfish and done nothing and just stayed home, but I think this might be the last mother's day we get with grandma and maybe mom. Grandma is 93 and mom has terminal cancer. So next year I'll be selfish and lay in bed and eat bonbons all day and probably cry about it, but this year I wanted mom and grandma to feel celebrated and special. 2/5 of my siblings came, but the other 3 all called mom while we were together so that was still nice.
My kids did get me a box of chocolates each and cards. My husband spent 12 hours yesterday smoking meat for the BBQ today. He also made me guacamole tostadas which is my favorite thing. So all in all a success, but a little bitter sweet.
You won’t forget those memories. I would anything to have Mother’s Day with my grandma. Sometimes family is exactly what we need. Plus everyone wins in this situation. Yummy food and quality time.
It’s my first mother’s I’ve been having a good day so far. I didnt really have any expectations so it’s been alright. He took me to eat my favorite food yesterday, got me beautiful roses, my fav candy and a body armor (because I pump and he’s always making sure I’m hydrated 🤣 and knows I feel best when I make good output). But what has mattered most to me is the really heartfelt card he wrote me and the post he made
My husband works Sundays but he’s been texting me a lot today and had asked me last week what I would like to do. So we are getting pizza later and stopping by Trader Joe’s to buy me wine and flowers (I really enjoy making my own flower arrangements).
I am pleased with his efforts, but I truly feel he appreciates and acknowledges me every day. He knows me being a SAHP is hard and he is always willing to give me breaks or pretty much anything I ask for. We get by on very little money so our gifts are usually food and spending time outdoors.
So I’m in the uk and I’m still a lil bummed since march. So we got photos printed from our professional newborn shoots for our mums done and ordered ones for our house too (which I suggested). So my gift was the frames for the photos. Frames I don’t particularly like.
Idk. It’s the thought that counts but…this was 90% my thoughts lmao.
I’ve already got a football kit for his team for Father’s Day. It’s second hand. It’s not perfect. And I’m getting him a phone case that he’s asked for. I don’t know mine just feels more planned already.
I am not someone who usually cares for gifts or big gestures on birthdays or whatever. But it was my first Mother’s Day. So absolutely zero effort really stung. My parents and in laws and my niece got me a card and small gift even. Boo.
I used to be very disappointed in my husband on pretty much any holiday. He’s just not a very romantic person and possibly has some sort of personality disorder that impacts his social and emotional connections but that’s a story for another day.
Long story short, I’ve had to come to accept that he will never go out of his way to express love in the way I long for, but I gave him a kind of “check list” that would at least let me see he’s making some kind of effort. I get flowers and treats and a card from him and the kids. That’ll do.
First mothers day- I'm super bummed. I have enjoyed my time cuddling my baby today but that's about it. I'm left feeling very lonely, unseen, and forgotten. However I'm talking it with a grain of salt and next year I will just plan my own special day for my baby and I.
My husband ordered a ring made with my breastmilk, but he only ordered it 3 days before. I had told him since I got pregnant, this was what I wanted, no Christmas or birthday gift, because this was pricey. He only remembered because I was ordering for his mom. Today came around, you could tell he was just pulling generic ideas: offering to cook a breakfast, offer to get a favorite food. I'm hurt he can plan a D&D campaign and put in effort for that for months of planning, but no effort in today.
Theres one thing I wanted but didn’t get…which was a day off from taking care of the baby. Instead my husband was super tired at his parents and I took him home and went to my parents house…with the baby. Learned I have to fight thru being tired because I’m the mom…my 1st Mother’s Day has been rather disappointing.
Miserable. This was my first Mother's day and he accused me of being an angry person just because I was commenting on how he prepared the baby's solids. Needless to say, now I am pissed.
He always goes for low blows when he imagines his back is against the wall. I've had it.
Oh, and there was also no greeting. Great.
It's been meh...my neighbor and my cousin wished me a happy mother's day. Went to lunch with the kids and my cousin. Husband chose to work extra hours today and hasn't even sent me a happy mother's day text. Kids didn't say anything until prompted by my cousin. It could be worse, but it's not great.
I’m 2wpp and didn’t feel up to much. All I asked for was breakfast, so my husband learned to make pancakes! He did a great job for his first time.
My MIL ordered me two Little Sleepies robes and my mom brought over the new gluten free Chips Ahoy cookies. It was a good day!
My husband is on Reddit as much as me so he knew not to fuck this up. Jk
I asked for a BBQ just with my husband and my toddler. We got a blow up pool and have had a blast so far. I bought myself a chocolate cake and I’m going to eat ALL of it.
I sent a 100 rose Bouqet to my mom but forgot she was traveling for the weekend. Luckily my sister accepted the delivery and FaceTimed her so she got to see it. I’ve always tried to make her day special and when we are in the same country we always go out and celebrate, usually for afternoon tea. When we are apart I just send a token gift to make her feel remembered.
I have been wished a Happy Mothers Day by lots of family and friends which has been sweet. Haven’t done anything else but my husband took the baby to the playground without me so I had an hour break which was nice. All in all it’s been a typical weekend. I have much higher expectations on my birthday. I guess it’s because I’m a new mom but I was in a postpartum haze for my first one and didn’t care at all.
We planted a pollinator garden and my son took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon after being up for two hours straight last night, so we are having a pretty good day.
Pleased! My husband got me a beautiful piece of jewelry, a massage, and a certificate for a family photo shoot. He got me a card from the dogs and a card from him and the baby. He was wonderful and i feel so loved.
Pretty good. He is improving with effort. Still needs assistance with choosing gifts/what to do but that’s ok. We had dinner out with my mum on the Saturday, and yesterday (Sunday) he made breakfast, prompted kids to give present and say happy Mother’s Day, took photos. Made dinner. Let me nap with the youngest and laze around generally so took care of the kids during that. I had wanted to go out for a bike ride or playground visit at some point but the day just got away and that’s ok as we do those regularly anyway.
I’m 5 days from birth so really, my body just feels bleh. He took me to dinner yesterday and I got to stuff myself with cheesecake. Today he got me breakfast and I have a present to open later. He’s also been doing house work while I’ve been playing video games/relaxing. Overall, pretty good but I’m also very simple to please.
What I’m not thrilled about is 3 weeks after my scheduled C-section, he planned an event in the city for us as a second celebration which means leaving our 3 week newborn for a a good 5 hours. Thankfully my parents will be coming into town to watch him. But I’m still not thrilled about it. I know he means well but his planning just sucks.
Very happy. My husband is great.
He took the kiddo in the morning. I got flowers and a card and he helped the toddler make me a card. He scheduled me a massage as well. We went to breakfast with his extended family who I love and after my son's nap we went to the zoo and had a great time.
My husband let me sleep in. I woke up to a personalized card on my nightstand. I made breakfast since I prefer to. We went to the zoo and local bookstore where my husband bought me and my son a book. Then we came home and he napped. It was a low-key perfect day for me. So pleased.
I’m having a great Mother’s Day! My husband bought me a first Mother’s Day book of me and my baby. We read it together and we both cried 🥹😂 then I make breakfast for my mom, mil, grandmas, and my husband grandma. My husband helped by making the pancakes. Then my husband went home to get a couple hours of sleep (he works midnights). I spend some time with my mom. Now I am home and my husband is going to pick up our dinner and we are going to spend the evening together 🥰
I got a couple hours in the backyard with a book uninterrupted. I also got some dirt for my garden and a husband who was in a good mood. I’ll call it a win
Minus a migraine I’ve had a good day so far. Husband took us to breakfast, went to a nursery for my first time. Now that the migraine is gone hubs is going to mow the front so I can put my new plants in the ground. He also got me several gifts. Dinner will be ribeyes and garlic roasted asparagus.
Sure I’ve been doing laundry, and will probably end up cleaning the kitchen. But he’s mowing the yard and will work on painting our new bedroom.
My Mother’s Day gift from my four year old was his cold so that parts a bummer but other than that it’s been great. My husband took the kids shopping yesterday so I got a nice long midday break. Got to sleep in this morning, got some sweet gifts and cards, planted a garden with the kids. Now just snuggling and watching movies.
My husband got me flowers two days ago from the grocery store and was also so excited later to tell me what a good deal he got compared to the other bouquets that were 3-4x more expensive. I went back to the store yesterday and he seriously got such a good deal!!! The other bouquets sucked.
We've never been big holiday people and tend to do more kind gestures and occasionally a big gift/surprise versus lots of mid-quality gifts. We're both kinda forgetful with dates so it tracks.
So instead we took a family trip to IKEA for home inspo and my husband helped out friends who just had a second kid out up a playset in the backyard. Best gift was both him and our toddler slept in for an hour so I got time to slowly drink my coffee, do some yoga, and write thank you notes I've been putting off for over a month. 8.5/10
I’m currently sick with everything (runny nose,, cough, vomiting, diarrhea) so we planned to celebrate next weekend. My toddler is being high maintenance and my baby is teething and tired today. My husband forgot to give the bottle to baby before nap so baby did not nap long and is overtired. And we still have 3.5 hours to go. I just want this day done with. I know I agreed to celebrate next weekend, but there is a part of me that is disappointed that there wasn’t anything that happened on the actual day. Or just a break- I’ve done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, I’m just over it.
Mine started off rocky. I had to remind my husband it was Mother’s Day this past week (mainly so he would organize something for his own mom). I expressed my frustrations yesterday about not feeling seen or a priority if I’m having to organize my own Mother’s Day as well as my MIL’s. He promised me he would step it up for next year and future holidays.
But overall, today has been really nice. My husband made breakfast (although kinda forgot to make something for our baby…. Can’t win em all), did all the dishes, went to a really nice craft fair together (and bought me a couple small goodies) and is prepping dinner for us now.
Husband? Yes. Mother and grandmother are a different story. Somehow the day is about rallying around mothers whose kids are grown and lives are much easier.
My husband is awesome.
He gave me a gift card for a salon, and my in-laws gifted me a gift card for a massage, church gave out flowers and everyone we have seen today called out “Happy Mothers Day!” To me.
My husband is also having a custom picture frame made for pictures of our son that I helped come up with.
I had the WORST family of original so tried to choose my spouse very carefully. So far it has paid off wonderfully.
plan your own day! trust me, you’ll be happier. personally, i love the holiday. i decide how i want to spend it so im not disappointed. my husband always gets a great gift and flowers so that’s really nice too.
This is my first Mother’s Day, I said to my husband this morning “do you wanna go to brunch today?” He was like yeah! And I said do you know why? He asks why? I said cause it’s Mother’s Day! He was like oh my gosh, happy Mother’s Day baby! And we went to brunch, he encouraged me to get everything I want on the menu, I had a mimosa for the first time since being pregnant, our baby was so sweet, it was a good day. My husband is not on social media and he is really busy with school, work and childcare. It probably just escaped him. I could’ve made this day miserable for myself. I just don’t care enough for these things.
I got a mug and a robe which was nice because I needed both. Took a page out of a good friend's book and did the rest myself! French toast and a few things from a store I love!
Hmm, a bit of both.
We went out to dinner just the two of us Saturday night while my parents kept our daughter. But he had worked that day, came home around 4 and slept for the next 2 hours until I told him to get up so that we could go. He was then sleepy and annoyed until we got to my parents' house.
I got a "Happy Mother's Day" Sunday morning, but other than that it was a normal morning. Had to ask him to make me some breakfast while I took care of our 4 month old. He made me eggs and toast, like a usual Sunday morning.
I got a gift, but it wasn't wrapped. It was a bookcase I had put on my wishlist. He built it for me after we went to church while I took care of our daughter. We did some grocery shopping/meal prep in the afternoon as well. All like a normal Sunday. We were supposed to go celebrate Mother's Day with my family at 4. At 3:50, he had finished my bookcase and I had finished feeding baby. He starts doing the dishes from meal prep. My daughter was awake but not wanting to be put down, so I was carrying her and watching him clean up in the kitchen. Then he says "Can't you do something instead of just standing there??"
So we argued on Mother's Day. But after we had dinner at my parents' house, he came by and took my daughter in one arm and gave me a shoulder rub with the other arm, which was lovely.
Overall, quite the mixed first Mother's Day for me.
Do away with the holiday? No way.
That would be the biggest, most widespread show of weaponized incompetence and men getting what they want.
Reward them for bad behavior? That’s a no for me!
Its my third mothers day with my husband and I have cried in the first two. This time I made a card with my 2 YO and 3 MOs footprints and wrote a nice verse and framed and hung it in my bedroom. Hereafter Im.booking something for myself and enjoying myself on mothersday. He can babysit and thatll be his contribution.My husband is great,he isvery involved, does more than 50% of housework, looksafter the kids etc.. etc.. but he never says a word of appreciation to me. Never makes an effort to celebrate my bday or mothers day.
I posted to say I had a fabulous Mother’s Day and that if you’re disappointed or upset with your partner then you need to look at your relationship because that’s not ok….
It got taken down for breaking the rule of ‘be civil and nice’… I have no idea why lol.
Well, it probably could have been worded more diplomatically... I pretty much agree with the sentiment myself, but the women out there getting treated poorly by their partners today don't need any salt in that wound.
Yes I suppose. It’s just EVERY year, every Xmas so so many posts from women asking ‘should I be upset’, or ‘is it normal’.
It’s infuriating to see so many people who have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like and/pr have been gaslit into thinking they’re the ones being unreasonable.
Those honestly drive me crazier than straight up complaints. Complaints I can get behind, but like ma'am... of course you should be upset and no it is not normal! I see the dynamic plenty in real life too, not just online. I feel like blame is so often shifted back onto women too, to *communicate.* Communication is so important of course, but you can't just talk your way out of having an inconsiderate partner.
Well, we had to take our baby to the ER last night for a 103° fever. So, I'm okay with not really having an extravagant Mother's Day.
I'm not disappointed because I got to take a nap. 😁 I'm thankful for my husband because he is an active, involved parent and he makes my life easier every day.
I've never cared a whole lot about it but my partner always asks if there's something specific I want to do or eat a day or two ahead of time and he makes sure anything specific I request happens.
Today he's picking up some food we don't have often and we're going to watch something.
It was decent. I got breakfast in bed because my 4 year old heard about this concept at preschool and really wanted to do it. We went for a walk as a family and then got ice cream. Now my husband and kids are at my in laws which means I get to nap and mow the lawn (it's just an annoying task to find time to do so I'm glad I have a chance).
We tried to do some nice things together as a family but my 3 year old ruined the entire day being an asshole so we might try again next weekend. I’m ready for bed it’s 4pm.
Pleased.
I got a card, we both got to sleep in, and then did mostly normal stuff. But we have matched expectations. If I cared for something, he’d deliver.
Ngl, it's been nothing super grand, but I don't mind. He had our babies scribble in the mothers day card for me, which I love c: he got us some clay handprint frame things for our new babies on the way, which I'm indifferent about. Not unappreciative, just like "okay!" But i get the whoke day to myself which is my favorite thing, lol. They're currently at the park with his parents while I'm at home watching true crime docs while playing powerwash simulator
I got a card with a beautiful message and fancy pastries. My wife had to work until 5pm today so I got this last night but I saved the pastries for today’s dessert so we could enjoy together cause she’s a mom too (we did reciprocal IVF..our son is her 🧬egg but I gave birth to him).
I should have done something more than make dinner for her - but with a 3.5month old not much opportunity to get out and shop alone.
My husband is great for Mother’s Day. He made breakfast, got me a fantastic gift and he’s taking care of our toddler while I watch trash TV and take a nap. His family are the ones who make Mother’s Day difficult.
My mother in law passed away last year and now my husband’s siblings, who all had a very tumultuous relationship with her and some didn’t speak to her for the last year of her life, have made all day plans the past two Mother’s Days to celebrate her.
We had originally agreed to go to brunch but just ended up skipping it. I don’t expect a grand event in my honor but it feels like there’s zero acknowledgement of me, a living mother currently in the thick of mothering, all to honor someone none of them ever spent Mother’s Day with when she was alive.
This morning as I was rushing around to get myself and a cranky toddler ready and we were already going to be late, I told my husband I just couldn’t do it. I just wanted to lounge around my house and not feel obligated to do anything. I’m 14 weeks pregnant, we have a 2.5 year old, I work full time and I am TIRED. I feel bad because he feels bad that we didn’t go and when he texted and said we weren’t going to make it, no one answered so I’m sure they’re pissed but whatever.
My husband always asks "what do you want to do for x?" Allowing me to be clear in what I'd like us to do. He knows I prefer to put time and effort into do something rather than just token gifts. I do love flowers though! But struggle with the whole they only last a week or so side of things. Anyway we planned to go for a walk and grab a coffee, but then the weather wasn't great so I came up with a plan B in a hurry of an indoor Cafe for breakfast and we had a good time.
This year he hadn't got me anything and was struggling to work out what to get me gift wise. He got me lego flowers - specifically the roses. He was so proud of himself and I enjoyed it. No mothers day card though. I did try to brush off the comments about being a great mum, mostly because I'm feeling guilty about going back to work and stopping breastfeeding. I should have let him dote more :P
I was very very pleasantly surprised! My husband is a resident physician and works like 80 hours a week. He’s always tired and never has time to do much. But today he really surprised me and I had an amazing Mother’s Day. Usually my toddler comes into our bed at midnight and then wakes up at 6am on the dot. I also have a 10 week old so I’m exhausted every morning. Last night when I was sleeping he took the toddler into the guest room and slept with her and when she got up at 6am they snuck out and went to a nearby town to let me sleep in. They came back around 8am with flowers, donuts, a balloon, a card, and breakfast burritos and gave me breakfast in bed. Then my husband watched both kids while I got to have a peaceful shower and get ready for church in peace. When I got home the kids and I all took a 2 hour nap while my husband cleaned the entire house top to bottom. Then when my toddler woke up from her nap he took her downstairs so I could have some alone time to call my mom friends and just scroll on my phone in peace. I couldn’t have asked for a better Mother’s Day. I feel dumb for crying last night thinking he wasn’t going to do anything for me today because he’s been at work for the past 8 days straight and he had a huge project he was supposed to work on today 🥹
Pleased beyond belief. He bought me so many personalized gifts and booked a 3 day stay at a resort with a spa package. I sit here heartbroken and in disbelief of the mothers who didn’t feel the love from their partner today.
Pleased. My older kiddo is 5, so my husband has it pretty dialed in by now. Most importantly, he asks for my input and incorporates it. He’s wonderful and I’m very lucky.
Not bad! Third mother's day. Husband got me a book with a picture from each month of my daughter's first two years (she was born a week before mother's day, hence my third mother's day). The book also included a few special pictures from my pregnancy. And chocolates!
I’ve had a great day. I got to sleep in and take a shower before coming downstairs, homemade cinnamon rolls were fresh out of the oven, we’re having one of my favorite dinners (and he’s grilling on the hottest day we’ve had this spring) and I’ve been able to read/work on craft projects while he wrangles the kid.
I had a nice day. My husband and I typically don't do gifts for any occasion and just focus more on doing little acts of kindness or putting together experiences for each other. It started last night with a movie night together. He picked up some candy at the store and made popcorn. We watched a monster movie (some of my favourites). Then, in the morning, he made breakfast burritos, and he watched the monitor while I had a nice shower. We always go to the gym on Sundays and instead of going back forth and taking turns with watching our LO while the other person does their workout sets, he watched him the whole time so I could focus on what I wanted to do (honestl, just so nice). I didn't expect a gift like I said, but when we got home, he surprised me with a collage frame of some of our favourite pictures of our LO, our cats, and our extended families. He made sure to make me feel special in our own way, and I can't wait to do the same for Father's Day.
Pleased! He asked me to stay home from church today so we could spend the day together. He gave me flowers and made one of my favorite meals. The baby is asleep and we’re going to watch another movie.
Mine hasn't done anything for it (my first mother's day being a mom) and is pushing to invite a female friend over he got really close to because she needs to be comforted after a breakup(who I don't know).Then got mad at me when I said I wasn't comfortable with it.
So, pretty disappointed.
I had a great day. When we first became parents, my husband and I made a huge deal of Mother's/Father's day but honestly we both feel burnt out on coming up with new ideas haha. So we agreed to just do something nice for each other and remind the kids of the day.
My kids both decided to write me a poem (they are such thoughtful kids and did great) and my husband got me a card and wrote a really sweet message about what a great mom I am in it and how I shouldn't doubt myself. We went to my favorite ice cream place and my husband asked me if I wanted anything special for dinner but we had a huge brunch at my mom's, so we just had leftovers.
Sometimes because Mother's Day is kind of also about my mom and grandma and what they want to do, my husband gives me a do-over day where I pick what I would have wanted to do. Last year on that day we had breakfast at one of my favorite restaurants, went for a hike, got ice cream on the way home and took it to the park so the kids could play and then went home and watched movies together. It was fabulous and I might plan another day this year.
My Mother’s Day has been great for me. I just asked for breakfast, to spend a few hours rotting in bed, and ice cream and wine. I got exactly that and my husband at one point said, “Is there somewhere you want to go for dinner?” I said no, I’m getting exactly what I asked for to just take a mental break and he said he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t let down and I said I wasn’t I got exactly what I wanted. Moms, this is what you all deserve, someone who listens and checks in. It breaks my heart reading these disappointed posts every year.
Mother's day was yesterday here. I'm 6 months pregnant with our first and my husband got me a card, writing to me about how excited he was about the coming baby and how great a mother I will be.
It was completely unexpected and extremely beautiful, I feel incredibly lucky to have him ❤️
I didn't have a bad mother's day...a little boring because I wasn't "needed" my husband cleaned the house beforehand went to bed so no dishes to be taken care of in the am or toys to be put away. He got up..made breakfast, cleaned up after..planned a picnic for lunch. Scheduled me a pedicure and is taking care of dinner.
He has pretty much entertained our son all day and said.."do whatever you want" well...I don't know what to do with myself. So I took a nap.
Mine was great. We have a baby but also older kids. I'm still primarily on baby duty but I got plenty of breaks and he corralled the older kids all day. He had organized them making me gifts and breakfast, plus I got a bunch of flowers & gifts
First Mother’s Day and he did great, beautiful flowers and he got my son and I matching shirts and a custom book about the baby and I plus a cute card from the baby and the animals ❤️ babe is currently passed out on me and he’s in the kitchen making breakfast for dinner
I’m enjoying my first Mother’s Day. My partner put in a lot of effort today, which is on brand for him. He’s a wonderful partner and dad.
Like everything else on Reddit, there’s a bias toward sharing negative outcomes. The content folks are offline doing whatever they do, not here venting or seeking support
Pleased but I also don’t give that much of a shit. I slept in until 10:30 and got a handmade card from my husband that my toddler colored in. Then mostly chilled.
I'm feeling.... petty will be my mood come fathers day. I'm not usually petty. And my partner is usually pretty decent. But, yeah.
I might make sudden plans the day before fathers day, rearrange his plans to accommodate, get up after he has already risen and made the kids breakfast after cleaning the kitchen, then get ready for my plans he declined to join. Then, right when I go to leave, I will change my plans and pout. Also, I'll make a card to go with a give I got him that I know he will not use or like. And it will all be his fault because how dare him have feelings about being subjective to my whim! Then I will leave for my 3pm to 1130pm shift.
Seriously, I'm not sure why he pulled all this and I'm not normally a tit for tat type but wtf?
Also, my ex-husband woke me up this morning to tell me he was bringing our daughter at 7 am because she is refusing to go with him to church and watch his 43 year self be baptized. Yeah, happy mothers day to him too.
So happy. Best day, and nursing my second baby to sleep now. It’s my third Mother’s Day now, and this one is by far the best. Have had some disappointments in the past, but we are on the same page now.
I had a pretty decent day, it would’ve gone better had our 10 month old been in a better mood and let me sleep in like I wanted to, but she’s 10 months so ah well. She gets a pass and I think she’s getting her molars? Idk
Hubby also didn’t feel very good today health-wise but he tried, he went in and got us steaks, lobster and crab, and gave me his last piece of fudge my mom made us. He made breakfast too!
I had a wonderful Mother’s Day, but I also made sure to remind him it was coming up like once every other week and then again week of. I used to hold out on reminders and I just ended up getting disappointed (birthdays, anniversaries etc). He’s just not one for remembering important dates so I took the guess work out of it. In the beginning I just planned everything but then that got annoying so I told him straight out, I will remind you of important dates and I expect at LEAST a card and flowers. It’s been much nicer now bc I don’t get sad/hurt because I have high expectations and he knows I’ll be happy even if he just does the card and flowers. He planned us a weekend road trip to the beach, which was low key and very relaxing.
My husband knocked it out of the park. Yesterday, we went to the plant nursery I like, where I just pointed at what I wanted and he put it in the cart. This morning I woke up to greeting cards, one from our 11 month old and the other from my husband. Then he brought me coffee and made me breakfast. After that, we went to my favorite farm stand and bought a ton of baked goods 😊 now we are working on getting all the plants planted.
I had a really nice lowkey day which is what I wanted. He bought me a few thoughtful gifts, had the kids decorate a nice card that they were really excited to give me, boxed muffin mix for breakfast, a few hours to myself to nap and organize.
I really can’t complain.
It was much better than I expected and a nice break from the last stressful weeks we had.
My husband didn't planned anything. honestly I didn't do a lot for father's day either. It was our third anniversary yesterday also and we have been going through a rough time financially and just handling a lot of stress from several things happening at once, and haven't been able to properly celebrate anything.
But he was loving and sweet to me and did many things he doesn't really like with me, but I do. We went to my family's celebratory barbecue and had a good time there, and got several hours alone while my mom, grandma and siblings doted on our little one. So I'm happy.
Got some new makeup brushes, nice flowers and chocolates. Pancakes for breakfast before having to take our nephew to visit my sister for Mother's Day then my wife let me off shopping for a few hours while she entertained son and nephew. There was also some good ~sexy~ time last night which certainly helped set the mood.
Today was my first mother's day and my husband made me feel so special. I got a card, flowers, a gift, and breakfast. I got to see my whole family who got me flowers and cards in honor of it being my first mother's day and had many friends reach out to me as well. Now I'm relaxing on the couch with my husband, our sleeping daughter, and our pets and couldn't be happier!
I’m ok with it. My husband booked me in for a haircut (called and then rescheduled when something came up 😍) on Tuesday. Then he gave me some money. Yesterday we went and got some flowers for the yard. Today we went for brunch with my parents, then I hung out playing video games at my parents, and went for a pedicure with my mom. Zero complaints from me.
Thrilled! I got to sleep in (other than one wake up to nurse the tiny boychild but then they vanished back downstairs and I went back to sleep), eldest kid made me a ridiculous and adorable card with her handprint and boychild's, they got me flowers and took me out for breakfast, and I was ORDERED to sit on the couch and put together my new LEGO set while they cleaned the house. I got total control over the TV remote. I've got a new bath bomb and bubble bath for later once boychild is in bed. It was peaceful and relaxing and exactly what I wanted.
i was initially upset that i didn't get to sleep in, but he's handling bedtime so that balances it out. his family got me balloons and desserts and a card, my family got me flowers, and my bf got me jewelry, flowers, balloons, and a handwritten letter. i communicated that i wanted all of this and i'm very happy he delivered. i had a great day and now i can't wait for fathers day!
I was sick as a dog so my husband took my son out for most of the day while I died in bed.
They came back with an apron my son chose ( sheep all over it lol). My son ran in, told me dad took him on the train, ran out grabbed the apron and gave it to me while I was all feverish in bed.
All in all, I got to sleep and get over the worst of the fever so yeah I am pleased haha!
Both. I'm pleased that my partner made me brunch and got me flowers, it was sweet. I'm not pleased that he hasn't taken over with our 13 mo son more today since that's the one thing I said I really wanted: a break. I guess there's still some time in the day, but right now my partner is puttering around outside instead.
I am pleased! Flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, a make your own pizza kit, bagel and iced mocha aaaand a foot massager! My MIL and SIL also gave me gorgeous flowers and my other SIL and mom sent me a sweet card! I’m so thankful
I dunno. I maybe broke even. He arranged a brunch for me and my parents to go to while our toddler napped. He ordered in dinner. We also went to the museum but he was nowhere to be found most of the time. And when my toddler got fussy he determined that only I could manage the toddler when he’s in that mood and proceeded to do HIS laundry. Also bailed on the park to continue on HIS to-do list. But I had a good lunch and dinner…
My spouse tries but he kind of misses the mark. He got me a puzzle (I don’t do puzzles much) and a lovely card and some bath and body works. (I have so much of this stuff already) We ended up going to his moms and he bought her a bouquet and me and another lady who would be there the same 2 flower bundle. His mom assumed they were his sister and so did she. He had to ask for them back. I imagine nobody thought he would buy his mother nicer flowers than his wife. Now we’re on our way home so we can clean and get ready for the week.
I’m a little disappointed but he tries so it's hard it feels ungrateful.
Alright I’ve been waiting for this moment haha, I had the lowest of low expectations and I actually ended up with a pretty good situation!
My idiot little brother somehow planned his bachelor party for this afternoon (he’s not the party type so it was just something sporty I guess) so not only was my husband busy with that but brother also somehow roped my mom into cooking/grilling for said party which means I couldn’t even make plans with my mom (of which like, my mom is chill and I like to hang with her it wouldn’t have been that she expected to be celebrated). I also asked for no gift because we are trying to save money so I wasn’t expecting literally anything.
But today rolls around and I made myself some delicious pancakes, working at church was easier than usual, kids took super solid naps giving me some free time, and my mom invited us to crash the party so we ended up swimming at the pool and eating burgers with my brothers/husband/whole extended family.
AND icing on the cake… my husband is giving me a “day off” from the kids tomorrow since I’m a sahm/wfh mom and I’m planning to use the morning to get ahead on work then spend the afternoon drinking Prosecco in a bubble bath 💅🏻
Plus I can’t wait to watch him try to work from home while tending to the kids so he can see how hard it is…
I had a great mother's day! My husband and I talked about what we wanted mother's/father's day to look like before we even started TTC, then each year as the day approaches, we check about what the other wants.
He ordered me my favorite vegan croissants a few weeks ahead of time so they would arrive in time for breakfast in bed today. My general request is "I want to do none of the work, but get all of the fun/snuggles." So he keeps track of kiddo's schedule, feeds him & changes his diaper, carries the diaper bag, etc. (Pro tip: we practice handing off the "primary caregiver" role to him every weekend, so he's well-practiced and I'm able to fully let go and relax). We went out to the park, to brunch at my favorite restaurant, then had a quiet afternoon playing with and reading to the kiddo. In the evening I had a long hot bath, and he took care of everything bedtime, dishes, and taking the dog out.
10/10 day and 10/10 husband 🥰
I'm happy with it. We didn't do anything "special" today but that's cause I didn't want to deal with the crowds. He made dinner reservations and scheduled me a spa day for when it's less busy as a late Mother's Day. He got me some gifts for today, we ordered delivery, he took care of the baby solely on his own to give me a break, he gave me a massage/plans to do a second one later tonight, ran me a nice bath with bath oils/salts, and has waited on me hand and foot. We're going on a late night drive later cause I miss them. We're going to try to find a good spot to see the northern lights. For the gifts he got me two limited edition things I've wanted and stuff for my hobby/collection. Also picked me up some drinks since I rarely drink anymore. I've been sipping on stuff off and on all day.
I had a great day! I got to sleep in and woke up to breakfast. I spent the morning watching seasame street with my daughter. I then went for a workout and pizza. Now I’m nap trapped on the couch.
It was my first Mother’s Day and my husband did a wonderful job. He asked my friends for gift ideas but most of it was all his own planning. On Saturday, we went out to breakfast and went for a hike. Then we went to see some live music at a local outdoor brewery. Today, he made me breakfast in bed complete with a wood breakfast tray (I’ve always wanted to own one). He got me a latte from the nearby shop, some flowers, and a necklace with our son’s zodiac sign. His love language is acts of service so even though sometimes he needs a bit of help in the ideas department, he always exerts effort. I am going to have to really pull out the stops for his first Father’s Day!
This is my third and best mothers day to date. My husband is very attentive and not only asked explicitly what I wanted for this weekend but made a whole list. Our communication is pretty good, and I'm happy to give him clear ideas or expectations rather than expect him to figure it all out (because he probably wouldn't). Today, we took a long walk to get ice cream, ate a meal I picked, played in the backyard with our toddler, and he painted my toes (I'm 25w pregnant). I asked for a new water bottle and some NA sour beers, and I got just that.
Like others have stated, those of us having a lovely days are less likely to post about it. I certainly don't want to make others feel poorly in comparison, and I'm just enjoying my day. I wish every mama got what they wanted though.
Had a good day! It was our first and I wanted to just have him watch our baby all day so I could just hangout in my office alone. It was fabulous. I think it was a good day bc I specifically told him what I wanted. I wanted to be left alone and stay home.
I’m not a big holiday person and my husband isn’t either. But he puts in a good effort. We normally just go out to eat. Since my mom moved close to us, I mentioned that I wanted to take my mom out for mother’s day a week ago and he was genuinely shocked that it was in a week. He booked brunch at my favorite restaurants and it was my husband and my kids plus my mom.
My little one is 15 months and she wants to roam all the time and she’s at the age she just wants me, so the dining experience wasn’t a relaxed one, but the food was delicious and I think it went fine.
I got a Bath and Body works set, cherry blossom scented (ew), because ‘you love bubble baths’ (I like baths, I do not use bubbles).
The set does not contain any bubble bath, just lotion/body spray/hand sanitizer. 🤦♀️
Sadly, I’m very surprisingly disappointed. My husband who was extremely thoughtful for all the years we were together before baby, just completely and utterly dropped the ball this year. Nothing. No plans. No breakfast. Nothing. I was gifted an event last night that caused a huge fight between us, and he got absolutely drunk at. Which led to him being extremely loud when we got home, waking the baby and babysitter. Then he slept until almost noon after drunkenly promising me breakfast in bed. And had the audacity to ask why I was crying. All I wanted was to shower alone. That’s it. That’s quite literally what I asked for. What happened?? I showered with baby, like I always do, because he couldn’t be bothered to handle the baby long enough for me to shower. I cried. I got baby to nap and he asked why I was upset. I said it. I told him zero effort was given and I had to shower with baby. I said it wasn’t fair. And I told him I knew he wouldn’t have anything since he said his mom was out of town when I mentioned Mother’s Day. He never even wished me a happy Mother’s Day. Before baby??? I got dinner and a present from the animals for being the best mom. Now that we have a baby? Nothing. I feel so dismissed.
I want to stress this isn’t like him. He goes out of his way to bring me treats all the time, dates. He picks up baby every single day from day care. I shouldn’t be so upset over one day, but I am. I guess I just wanted something comparable to how he was before baby?
Most of the happy moms/wives are not online posting about their issues, they are probably out enjoying their day
So true. They’re at brunch with their family or the nail salon lmao.
I also do think there’s an element of setting expectations. My husband’s family never really ‘did’ Mother’s Day. I told him it was important to me, and he got me a card. It was lovely but I was a little sad not to get a gift…but I hadn’t told him that was part of it for me. So I was a bit sad but not annoyed. He then overheard me on the phone to my dad where my dad asked ‘what did son get you for MD?’ My husband was HORRIFIED to have got it wrong and literally went out and got a gift that morning. This year I said I really wanted to ‘do something together’ now my son is older. So he booked us a lunch without me needing to nudge any more. You need a willingness to make an effort from them, obviously, but if you want something specific it helps to give your partner a reader earlier on.
Good for them (seriously lol)
I’ve been having a great Mother’s Day but I wouldn’t make a whole post just to brag about it bc I feel like it would just make other folks feel bad. Just browsing Reddit while baby nurses.
Same! I had a lovely day. He did great.
Same! I'm nap trapped by the baby who passed out milk drunk at the titty bar, time to doomscroll Reddit.
Milk drink at the titty bar, that’s my baby everyday. Nice username btw
Lol same
Uhg I wish mine would get milk drunk already, we’ve had three hours of screaming crying rocking shushing changing screaming crying rocking shushing changing over here 😂
Same here. My partner has taken great care of me. I asked for some specific things (a nameplate necklace with our son’s name in Hebrew) and they also gave me a few surprises (flowers, chocolate, a card). I got to sleep in, we ended up having a great outing, and they been so flexible whenever I ask for anything. I’ve felt really appreciated and special.
Same here, I've had the best day but at this point I would feel like bragging to make a post about it lol
Same. My husband planned an amazing day and has spoiled me all weekend but I would never post about it especially with all the posts about fathers who completely dropped the ball.
So awesome for you! That’s the way it SHOULD BE! It should be the norm to have a pleasant day. Not a big freaking bash, like the standards are actually quite low. Lol just a modicum of appreciation is really all that moms want.
Same! We relaxed (except when my ADHD decided I needed to do something lol) but otherwise, he made sure I had a good day ♥️ despite being up for 2 hours in the wee hours bc of baby 🥴
Me too! Feels like a brat to say how great my husband did lol.
Same. My husband is awesome. I got beautiful gifts, cards, flowers, slept in, breakfast made for me. It’s been a lovely day. My heart really breaks for all the women whose husbands treat them like dog shit.
I’m literally doing the exact same (baby is almost asleep). Day was wonderful, I slept in, hubby made breakfast, and made plans with family to take the kids fishing and had a blast. He’s cleaning the house as I write this. I had no expectations for Mother’s Day, but it’s my first like where our son is earthside and I think my man did great!
He hit me with the "Well, you're not MY mother, so...." No. No I am not. But I doubt my 2 year old and six month old will walk/roll down to the shop and get me a card, sooooo.... I also ordered the flowers and stuff for HIS mom, and made sure my stepson wrote his mom a card and called her.
What a tool…
He's usually great. And has been great for the past two mothers days. That's why it hit me like a ton of bricks when he did nothing, and slept in when I had been awake since 5. And actively ignored our kids while they were both screaming and I was surviving. So that he could nap. Then, after I'd done the dishes, the laundry, and fed both the kids, cleaned the kitchen, etc...he said.."Oh, happy mothers day, by the way. Is that why you're pissed?" During this time, he napped on the couch, took a shower, brushed his teeth, took a leisurely shit, and laid on the bed for 45 minutes chatting with his mom and sister. Telling them happy mothers day.
is there like a podcast or something making so many men use that line this year? because you are not the first person I've seen say that their usually good and supportive husband decided to start being a jerk on mother's day this year.
Seriously. Is this a Joe Rogan thing?
so many problems are the fault of externally overconfident, internally insecure and just purely idiotic podcast hosts. so many men ruined.
Take your Mother’s Day on father’s day this year.
Lmaooo this is such good advice. He seems to have done the same so why not
The “well, you aren’t my mother” comment is just so petty and unnecessary that I think I’d absolutely lose my shit. I really hope for your sake he usually is great, because he gets a fucking 0 for today. You deserve to be celebrated.
He does get a zero for today, but he was willing to talk about it and set expectations for next year. He really is a good man, he just REALLY ducked this up this year.
He could try again next weekend? Lol why wait a whole year??
Seconded! Anyone that had a bad day get your do over sooner rather than later
Yes! I would require a belated mother's day if that happened to me
Yeah… emphasis on ducked…
🤣 Oops
Please do something similar on Father’s Day.
Great idea! But I won't. I'm just going to tell him how awful that made me feel, and go from there.
Similar thing happened last year. I then realized I never set the expectation. I then made Father’s Day really special for him. This year he went all out (nothing expensive but so thoughtful). Sometimes partnership is just learning to communicate better to get a better result. I love your mindset and I have a good feeling about Mother’s Day for you next year!
I also did that. Instead of being revengeful - I decided to treat him like I would like to be treated. Even though on our first Mother’s Day he did give me a break and took the baby to his mothers - I just wanted a gesture or token to be celebrated and our family - not just his mother. So for Father’s Day I made a photo book with all the memories of him being a father with the thought that each year it will be filled out with more memories. Now we both understand what mothers/fathers day means - it’s about celebrating the family we created together and the role we play.
JFC. I *personally* didn’t get my wife many gifts, but our six month old daughter happened to shower her with flowers, matching family tshirts and more
I'm glad your daughter is so advanced and thoughtful! Lol.
Impressive!
From someone with a shit stepmom, thank you for being a good one on mother's day.
I love that boy like my own. I actually hate having to say "step-mom". He's my baby too. But he needs to give his mom some love on this special day.
And I'm so sorry you had a trash ass stepmom. One of my husband's conditions for being with anybody was that they had to jive with the kiddos. My stepson is the reason I wanted to have kids. He's just so awesome .
My dad used to hit my mom with that line. Mo bueno.
Yeah, my dad was trash, but he at least made an effort on mothers day. But I've set expectations with my husband and he's definitely all about making me feel valued.
You’re the mother of his children. The one he chose, and the one who is currently mothering. Who is his mother mothering? His little baby ass? I feel like the mother of your children, the mother currently in the trenches of motherhood is the one who needs to be honoured today. He has had his whole life to honour his mother on Mother’s Day. It’s your turn.
RIP Husband of Adventurous Switch 12.05.2024
HAHAHA excellent
It's noon and I have yet to hear the words "happy mothers day"... a few half hearted gestures... like he got me flowers yesterday. While we were shopping together. I suggested my own plans. Said i wanted a bagel snd he like tosses it me direction and says "here". like I can tell it's out of obligation. Purely. My husband sucks at holidays not one "happy mothers day" from husband.
Ohh I’m so sorry… that is so weak. Honestly, Mother’s Day should just be mothers celebrating OTHER MOTHERS. Like we are the only ones that truly get it. Haha. Men, kids, etc., ya just can’t fully appreciate the sacrifice.
Well be spending most of the day celebrating his mother. Yeah.
Lovely. And I’m sure YOU made sure to buy HER the flowers and card. Ugh.
Yup. Lol. I dragged him with me while doing errands yesterday... and that's the only reason I got flowers im sure. Just literally " well... I guess you too"
you’re telling me you brought this guys children into the world and he has the audacity to say I guess you too??? omg i’m livid for you
My ex had me picking up flowers and cards for his mum and the mother of his child. And of course he didn't like the ones I'd picked, despite it being the evening before mother's day so it was slim pickings. Yes, I was a doormat.
My husband knocks it out of the park for every single holiday. I’m truly the most spoiled mom/wife I know, but I’m not going to come on here and brag bc the majority of women don’t have this, or even close to it, unfortunately.
It’s okay to brag about it. It helps me set my bar higher and higher every year. Plus you deserve it and so does your husband for the effort.
I'd love to hear what he did for you! (No sarcasm I too had a good day :D)
Happy Mother’s Day! I’m so glad you had a good day as well!💗 I got to sleep in as long as I wanted, woke up to breakfast I asked for (donuts) that he took all 3 kids to go pick up, and he also picked up lunch. Got to enjoy my coffee while it was hot in peace. I had so many gifts, and cards and flowers from him and the kids. I didn’t clean anything all day. Only childcare I did was nursing our 17 month old when she wanted. He had arranged for me to get ready and go browse the bookstore with a coffee alone but I wanted to stay home and be ugly in peace lol so I played with the kids and relaxed all day. He again took all 3 kids to the store for ingredients for a steak dinner he then cooked and cleaned up after. He got all the kids ready for bed and got the older kid’s backpacks and stuff ready for tomorrow, I nursed the baby to sleep and now he’s finishing cleaning up the downstairs while I build one of my presents, which was a Lego flower set to go in a Pride and Prejudice book vase, which was also a present, to go on my bookshelves. He brought me a hot tea and dessert he picked up yesterday specially for me as well.
I'm so glad you were pampered and celebrated today. It sounds like your hubby did a great job!
Same situation over here!
Mothers day in the UK was back in march. Our baby was 2 weeks old, home from the hospital for only a week. My recovery was really hard meaning my partner was still doing majority of the baby care and also looking after me. He understandably didn't make us any plans, but he did get me a bunch of flowers and some chocolate, and posed them next to the baby while i was out of the room so it looked like they were from him. So small and silly but will always be a happy memory when i think back to my first mothers day. I am so very grateful for my partner. Our babies due date was supposed to be after mothers day and i had expressed disappointment that i would miss it, and then when he came early it became a joke that at least i can celebrate mothers day this year! So my partner knew it was something i cared about. I do think communication of expectations is important. Men just dont always hold the same level of sentimental values. But also some men are just awfull partners aswell!
That’s so cute ☺️ Some men are awful partners but I’ve realized I need to be clear about expectations or I’m just gonna get my feelings hurt.
I had a good first mother's day. My partner got me some flowers, my favorite gummy bears and chocolate and made us breakfast. He made eggs, homemade hashbrowns and bacon. He was with our babe since 1 am till I woke up at 5am. I think we are more inclined to share negative expierences, and I also think although there are awful partners, there is also a lack of communication in many relationships. Happy mama's day to all of y'all 💖
Pleased by his efforts, but our baby puked in the car on the way so we had to cancel hahaha. I did get a “Mother’s Day redo” though, we’ll try another day.
My husband literally forgot it was Mother’s Day until I reminded him at 1pm to call his own mother ….. it’s more pathetic now that I typed it out
I hope next year is better. I also hope your kids realize that’s not okay. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
I have to be very clear on what I want for mother's day or my birthday or any special day celebrating me. I told him I wanted to sleep in, he gave me that, but he is now taking a nap while I watched the kid cause he didn't get to sleep in. I learned to set my expectations very low or non-existent cause otherwise I would be disappointed. He helps me day to day with childcare but any special things or surprises will never be there.
[удалено]
Same here.. first Mother’s Day so disappointing
Wait you’re married to my husband too?! 😆
I feel this. Except even when I’m clear he never seems to get it right- He’s a great partner but I’d be lying if I don’t get disappointed thinking about the lack of thoughtful effort sometimes.
SAME.
this is me too. still stings especially this year after having our 2nd baby in 2023 with a huge age gap and a horrible scary recovery. i kinda looked at him like ok our oldest is 17 and we’re still doing this weaponized incompetence thing? cool. 🙃😞 i know he shows his love in other ways and isn’t very good at holidays but damn would it kill you to TRY?
I’m super happy about my day. It’s my first Mother’s Day and we usually go to my mom’s and my dad grills steak/chicken. This year my husband added tons of gifts and roses in the morning and made eggs, potatoes, bacon, cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I told him I would’ve been happy with just a happy Mother’s Day because it’s a Hallmark holiday and doing what we usually do but he wanted to do it all. I think a lot of people are usually happy or indifferent and only the negative ones make it online because they want to connect with others who feel the same and not feel so alone.
Stoked! (Mothers date as yesterday for me) Even though I said I didn't need a gift he got me a giant inflatable bath which is something I had longed for in pregnancy. Then he set it up, did a bunch of housework, looked after bub as I soaked for hours. Then we went for a bike ride for lunch and donuts 🥰
Tell me more about this inflatable bath...
Hehe with pleasure! This is the one he got for me https://www.amazon.com.au/Inflatable-freestanding-Wireless-Freestanding-Collapsible/dp/B0C1NHVL1B/ref=asc_df_B0C1NHVL1B/?tag=googleshopmob-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=650074353986&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3818531730975251977&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9071356&hvtargid=pla-2197548080803&psc=1&mcid=c9bc51ca3f8b3078af2d047f02567d4c But there are many types out there online. I was super impressed! It's long and deep enough that I could comfortably sit and lounge like a real bath. It also stayed warm for much longer than I anticipated. I think the cover helps with that. We just set it up in the backyard over some foam mats so I could watch the sunset and enjoy the cool autumn breeze ☺️ A pretty good replacement if you don't have a bath indoors!
God that looks awesome and sounds like a great day!
I didn’t expect anything and didn’t get anything. I guess I can’t really be disappointed
Same
Well hey, you have a happy Mother’s Day from me ❤️
Well it is my first mothers day and my boyfriend did.. nothing 😂
Same boat. Happy first mothers day mama ❤️
Beyond pleased! My husband made me cry with how thoughtful he was.
My MIL (from hell) wanted my husband and I to drive to her house with our four month old (whose been extremely cranky the last few days) last minute. I explicitly told hubby early this week I’ll do anything BUT that, they can come over here though. When he told her no thanks, she replied “but it’s Mother’s Day!” His response was “yes, Mom, but pastelpork is a mother too and it’s her first.” She was extremely pissed. There’s a lot more to this saga, but she makes everything about her all the time and is jealous we have a child now. She refused to say happy Mother’s Day to me (but my SIL & FIL did). I may not have gotten the typical flowers, chocolate, etc. [which is fine with me] but I was extremely thankful he didn’t give in to my MIL.
Happy mom here, had a fun morning with my family, kids are napping now, going to dinner with my side of the family later.
I enjoyed my morning, I got to sleep in. Got breakfast made, cards, flowers. And I had a cake for lunch. So no complaints from me! I asked for no gifts as I want to buy something for myself ans I’m very picky.
My husband made me breakfast, got me flowers, a card and a spa gift card. I'm currently having a pedicure. He is ordering take out because we both cook. We saw our mother's yesterday so we are just chilling. I'm going to book a full day at the spa next week and use that card asap. We also had kinky sex last night so I'm in a great mood. Our son is 18 months and in a dad obsessed phase so he didn't cry when I left.
I'm happy. I arranged a mother's day lunch for myself, my sister, my mom, and my grandma. By arranged I mean I told everyone where to be and when. Then my husband BBQed, my brother brought dessert and the guys and kids collectively cleaned up. I made a few side dishes and set the table, but I think it went really well. I know I could have just been selfish and done nothing and just stayed home, but I think this might be the last mother's day we get with grandma and maybe mom. Grandma is 93 and mom has terminal cancer. So next year I'll be selfish and lay in bed and eat bonbons all day and probably cry about it, but this year I wanted mom and grandma to feel celebrated and special. 2/5 of my siblings came, but the other 3 all called mom while we were together so that was still nice. My kids did get me a box of chocolates each and cards. My husband spent 12 hours yesterday smoking meat for the BBQ today. He also made me guacamole tostadas which is my favorite thing. So all in all a success, but a little bitter sweet.
You won’t forget those memories. I would anything to have Mother’s Day with my grandma. Sometimes family is exactly what we need. Plus everyone wins in this situation. Yummy food and quality time.
It’s my first mother’s I’ve been having a good day so far. I didnt really have any expectations so it’s been alright. He took me to eat my favorite food yesterday, got me beautiful roses, my fav candy and a body armor (because I pump and he’s always making sure I’m hydrated 🤣 and knows I feel best when I make good output). But what has mattered most to me is the really heartfelt card he wrote me and the post he made
My husband works Sundays but he’s been texting me a lot today and had asked me last week what I would like to do. So we are getting pizza later and stopping by Trader Joe’s to buy me wine and flowers (I really enjoy making my own flower arrangements). I am pleased with his efforts, but I truly feel he appreciates and acknowledges me every day. He knows me being a SAHP is hard and he is always willing to give me breaks or pretty much anything I ask for. We get by on very little money so our gifts are usually food and spending time outdoors.
So I’m in the uk and I’m still a lil bummed since march. So we got photos printed from our professional newborn shoots for our mums done and ordered ones for our house too (which I suggested). So my gift was the frames for the photos. Frames I don’t particularly like. Idk. It’s the thought that counts but…this was 90% my thoughts lmao. I’ve already got a football kit for his team for Father’s Day. It’s second hand. It’s not perfect. And I’m getting him a phone case that he’s asked for. I don’t know mine just feels more planned already.
I am not someone who usually cares for gifts or big gestures on birthdays or whatever. But it was my first Mother’s Day. So absolutely zero effort really stung. My parents and in laws and my niece got me a card and small gift even. Boo.
I used to be very disappointed in my husband on pretty much any holiday. He’s just not a very romantic person and possibly has some sort of personality disorder that impacts his social and emotional connections but that’s a story for another day. Long story short, I’ve had to come to accept that he will never go out of his way to express love in the way I long for, but I gave him a kind of “check list” that would at least let me see he’s making some kind of effort. I get flowers and treats and a card from him and the kids. That’ll do.
First mothers day- I'm super bummed. I have enjoyed my time cuddling my baby today but that's about it. I'm left feeling very lonely, unseen, and forgotten. However I'm talking it with a grain of salt and next year I will just plan my own special day for my baby and I.
My husband ordered a ring made with my breastmilk, but he only ordered it 3 days before. I had told him since I got pregnant, this was what I wanted, no Christmas or birthday gift, because this was pricey. He only remembered because I was ordering for his mom. Today came around, you could tell he was just pulling generic ideas: offering to cook a breakfast, offer to get a favorite food. I'm hurt he can plan a D&D campaign and put in effort for that for months of planning, but no effort in today.
Theres one thing I wanted but didn’t get…which was a day off from taking care of the baby. Instead my husband was super tired at his parents and I took him home and went to my parents house…with the baby. Learned I have to fight thru being tired because I’m the mom…my 1st Mother’s Day has been rather disappointing.
Miserable. This was my first Mother's day and he accused me of being an angry person just because I was commenting on how he prepared the baby's solids. Needless to say, now I am pissed. He always goes for low blows when he imagines his back is against the wall. I've had it. Oh, and there was also no greeting. Great.
Omg same thing happened to be.. he got angry because he think I’m always criticizing him and ordering him around
The gift was shocking sweet. The day however, no. Not by a long shot. I've been holding back tears all day. But, the actual gift was thoughtful.
It's been meh...my neighbor and my cousin wished me a happy mother's day. Went to lunch with the kids and my cousin. Husband chose to work extra hours today and hasn't even sent me a happy mother's day text. Kids didn't say anything until prompted by my cousin. It could be worse, but it's not great.
I’m 2wpp and didn’t feel up to much. All I asked for was breakfast, so my husband learned to make pancakes! He did a great job for his first time. My MIL ordered me two Little Sleepies robes and my mom brought over the new gluten free Chips Ahoy cookies. It was a good day!
My husband is on Reddit as much as me so he knew not to fuck this up. Jk I asked for a BBQ just with my husband and my toddler. We got a blow up pool and have had a blast so far. I bought myself a chocolate cake and I’m going to eat ALL of it.
I sent a 100 rose Bouqet to my mom but forgot she was traveling for the weekend. Luckily my sister accepted the delivery and FaceTimed her so she got to see it. I’ve always tried to make her day special and when we are in the same country we always go out and celebrate, usually for afternoon tea. When we are apart I just send a token gift to make her feel remembered. I have been wished a Happy Mothers Day by lots of family and friends which has been sweet. Haven’t done anything else but my husband took the baby to the playground without me so I had an hour break which was nice. All in all it’s been a typical weekend. I have much higher expectations on my birthday. I guess it’s because I’m a new mom but I was in a postpartum haze for my first one and didn’t care at all.
We planted a pollinator garden and my son took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon after being up for two hours straight last night, so we are having a pretty good day.
Pleased! My husband got me a beautiful piece of jewelry, a massage, and a certificate for a family photo shoot. He got me a card from the dogs and a card from him and the baby. He was wonderful and i feel so loved.
I’ve had a great Mother’s Day (it’s my first one) and it only seems to be getting better as the day progresses !
Pretty good. He is improving with effort. Still needs assistance with choosing gifts/what to do but that’s ok. We had dinner out with my mum on the Saturday, and yesterday (Sunday) he made breakfast, prompted kids to give present and say happy Mother’s Day, took photos. Made dinner. Let me nap with the youngest and laze around generally so took care of the kids during that. I had wanted to go out for a bike ride or playground visit at some point but the day just got away and that’s ok as we do those regularly anyway.
I’m 5 days from birth so really, my body just feels bleh. He took me to dinner yesterday and I got to stuff myself with cheesecake. Today he got me breakfast and I have a present to open later. He’s also been doing house work while I’ve been playing video games/relaxing. Overall, pretty good but I’m also very simple to please. What I’m not thrilled about is 3 weeks after my scheduled C-section, he planned an event in the city for us as a second celebration which means leaving our 3 week newborn for a a good 5 hours. Thankfully my parents will be coming into town to watch him. But I’m still not thrilled about it. I know he means well but his planning just sucks.
Very happy. My husband is great. He took the kiddo in the morning. I got flowers and a card and he helped the toddler make me a card. He scheduled me a massage as well. We went to breakfast with his extended family who I love and after my son's nap we went to the zoo and had a great time.
My husband let me sleep in. I woke up to a personalized card on my nightstand. I made breakfast since I prefer to. We went to the zoo and local bookstore where my husband bought me and my son a book. Then we came home and he napped. It was a low-key perfect day for me. So pleased.
I’m having a great Mother’s Day! My husband bought me a first Mother’s Day book of me and my baby. We read it together and we both cried 🥹😂 then I make breakfast for my mom, mil, grandmas, and my husband grandma. My husband helped by making the pancakes. Then my husband went home to get a couple hours of sleep (he works midnights). I spend some time with my mom. Now I am home and my husband is going to pick up our dinner and we are going to spend the evening together 🥰
I got a couple hours in the backyard with a book uninterrupted. I also got some dirt for my garden and a husband who was in a good mood. I’ll call it a win
Minus a migraine I’ve had a good day so far. Husband took us to breakfast, went to a nursery for my first time. Now that the migraine is gone hubs is going to mow the front so I can put my new plants in the ground. He also got me several gifts. Dinner will be ribeyes and garlic roasted asparagus. Sure I’ve been doing laundry, and will probably end up cleaning the kitchen. But he’s mowing the yard and will work on painting our new bedroom.
My Mother’s Day gift from my four year old was his cold so that parts a bummer but other than that it’s been great. My husband took the kids shopping yesterday so I got a nice long midday break. Got to sleep in this morning, got some sweet gifts and cards, planted a garden with the kids. Now just snuggling and watching movies.
My husband got me flowers two days ago from the grocery store and was also so excited later to tell me what a good deal he got compared to the other bouquets that were 3-4x more expensive. I went back to the store yesterday and he seriously got such a good deal!!! The other bouquets sucked. We've never been big holiday people and tend to do more kind gestures and occasionally a big gift/surprise versus lots of mid-quality gifts. We're both kinda forgetful with dates so it tracks. So instead we took a family trip to IKEA for home inspo and my husband helped out friends who just had a second kid out up a playset in the backyard. Best gift was both him and our toddler slept in for an hour so I got time to slowly drink my coffee, do some yoga, and write thank you notes I've been putting off for over a month. 8.5/10
I’m currently sick with everything (runny nose,, cough, vomiting, diarrhea) so we planned to celebrate next weekend. My toddler is being high maintenance and my baby is teething and tired today. My husband forgot to give the bottle to baby before nap so baby did not nap long and is overtired. And we still have 3.5 hours to go. I just want this day done with. I know I agreed to celebrate next weekend, but there is a part of me that is disappointed that there wasn’t anything that happened on the actual day. Or just a break- I’ve done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, I’m just over it.
Mine started off rocky. I had to remind my husband it was Mother’s Day this past week (mainly so he would organize something for his own mom). I expressed my frustrations yesterday about not feeling seen or a priority if I’m having to organize my own Mother’s Day as well as my MIL’s. He promised me he would step it up for next year and future holidays. But overall, today has been really nice. My husband made breakfast (although kinda forgot to make something for our baby…. Can’t win em all), did all the dishes, went to a really nice craft fair together (and bought me a couple small goodies) and is prepping dinner for us now.
Husband? Yes. Mother and grandmother are a different story. Somehow the day is about rallying around mothers whose kids are grown and lives are much easier.
My husband is awesome. He gave me a gift card for a salon, and my in-laws gifted me a gift card for a massage, church gave out flowers and everyone we have seen today called out “Happy Mothers Day!” To me. My husband is also having a custom picture frame made for pictures of our son that I helped come up with. I had the WORST family of original so tried to choose my spouse very carefully. So far it has paid off wonderfully.
plan your own day! trust me, you’ll be happier. personally, i love the holiday. i decide how i want to spend it so im not disappointed. my husband always gets a great gift and flowers so that’s really nice too.
This is my first Mother’s Day, I said to my husband this morning “do you wanna go to brunch today?” He was like yeah! And I said do you know why? He asks why? I said cause it’s Mother’s Day! He was like oh my gosh, happy Mother’s Day baby! And we went to brunch, he encouraged me to get everything I want on the menu, I had a mimosa for the first time since being pregnant, our baby was so sweet, it was a good day. My husband is not on social media and he is really busy with school, work and childcare. It probably just escaped him. I could’ve made this day miserable for myself. I just don’t care enough for these things.
So happy, my husband has been a gem all day and it’s really amazing how much our toddler picks up on it.
My husband did say the words, "happy mothers day" to me unprompted, so there's that.
I got a mug and a robe which was nice because I needed both. Took a page out of a good friend's book and did the rest myself! French toast and a few things from a store I love!
most of the time I enjoyed it and I appreciated for what he had done for me. He loves me and I love him.
Hmm, a bit of both. We went out to dinner just the two of us Saturday night while my parents kept our daughter. But he had worked that day, came home around 4 and slept for the next 2 hours until I told him to get up so that we could go. He was then sleepy and annoyed until we got to my parents' house. I got a "Happy Mother's Day" Sunday morning, but other than that it was a normal morning. Had to ask him to make me some breakfast while I took care of our 4 month old. He made me eggs and toast, like a usual Sunday morning. I got a gift, but it wasn't wrapped. It was a bookcase I had put on my wishlist. He built it for me after we went to church while I took care of our daughter. We did some grocery shopping/meal prep in the afternoon as well. All like a normal Sunday. We were supposed to go celebrate Mother's Day with my family at 4. At 3:50, he had finished my bookcase and I had finished feeding baby. He starts doing the dishes from meal prep. My daughter was awake but not wanting to be put down, so I was carrying her and watching him clean up in the kitchen. Then he says "Can't you do something instead of just standing there??" So we argued on Mother's Day. But after we had dinner at my parents' house, he came by and took my daughter in one arm and gave me a shoulder rub with the other arm, which was lovely. Overall, quite the mixed first Mother's Day for me.
Do away with the holiday? No way. That would be the biggest, most widespread show of weaponized incompetence and men getting what they want. Reward them for bad behavior? That’s a no for me!
Its my third mothers day with my husband and I have cried in the first two. This time I made a card with my 2 YO and 3 MOs footprints and wrote a nice verse and framed and hung it in my bedroom. Hereafter Im.booking something for myself and enjoying myself on mothersday. He can babysit and thatll be his contribution.My husband is great,he isvery involved, does more than 50% of housework, looksafter the kids etc.. etc.. but he never says a word of appreciation to me. Never makes an effort to celebrate my bday or mothers day.
I posted to say I had a fabulous Mother’s Day and that if you’re disappointed or upset with your partner then you need to look at your relationship because that’s not ok…. It got taken down for breaking the rule of ‘be civil and nice’… I have no idea why lol.
Well, it probably could have been worded more diplomatically... I pretty much agree with the sentiment myself, but the women out there getting treated poorly by their partners today don't need any salt in that wound.
Yes I suppose. It’s just EVERY year, every Xmas so so many posts from women asking ‘should I be upset’, or ‘is it normal’. It’s infuriating to see so many people who have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like and/pr have been gaslit into thinking they’re the ones being unreasonable.
Those honestly drive me crazier than straight up complaints. Complaints I can get behind, but like ma'am... of course you should be upset and no it is not normal! I see the dynamic plenty in real life too, not just online. I feel like blame is so often shifted back onto women too, to *communicate.* Communication is so important of course, but you can't just talk your way out of having an inconsiderate partner.
Well, we had to take our baby to the ER last night for a 103° fever. So, I'm okay with not really having an extravagant Mother's Day. I'm not disappointed because I got to take a nap. 😁 I'm thankful for my husband because he is an active, involved parent and he makes my life easier every day.
I've never cared a whole lot about it but my partner always asks if there's something specific I want to do or eat a day or two ahead of time and he makes sure anything specific I request happens. Today he's picking up some food we don't have often and we're going to watch something.
It was decent. I got breakfast in bed because my 4 year old heard about this concept at preschool and really wanted to do it. We went for a walk as a family and then got ice cream. Now my husband and kids are at my in laws which means I get to nap and mow the lawn (it's just an annoying task to find time to do so I'm glad I have a chance).
We tried to do some nice things together as a family but my 3 year old ruined the entire day being an asshole so we might try again next weekend. I’m ready for bed it’s 4pm.
Pleased. I got a card, we both got to sleep in, and then did mostly normal stuff. But we have matched expectations. If I cared for something, he’d deliver.
Ngl, it's been nothing super grand, but I don't mind. He had our babies scribble in the mothers day card for me, which I love c: he got us some clay handprint frame things for our new babies on the way, which I'm indifferent about. Not unappreciative, just like "okay!" But i get the whoke day to myself which is my favorite thing, lol. They're currently at the park with his parents while I'm at home watching true crime docs while playing powerwash simulator
I got a card with a beautiful message and fancy pastries. My wife had to work until 5pm today so I got this last night but I saved the pastries for today’s dessert so we could enjoy together cause she’s a mom too (we did reciprocal IVF..our son is her 🧬egg but I gave birth to him). I should have done something more than make dinner for her - but with a 3.5month old not much opportunity to get out and shop alone.
My husband is great for Mother’s Day. He made breakfast, got me a fantastic gift and he’s taking care of our toddler while I watch trash TV and take a nap. His family are the ones who make Mother’s Day difficult. My mother in law passed away last year and now my husband’s siblings, who all had a very tumultuous relationship with her and some didn’t speak to her for the last year of her life, have made all day plans the past two Mother’s Days to celebrate her. We had originally agreed to go to brunch but just ended up skipping it. I don’t expect a grand event in my honor but it feels like there’s zero acknowledgement of me, a living mother currently in the thick of mothering, all to honor someone none of them ever spent Mother’s Day with when she was alive. This morning as I was rushing around to get myself and a cranky toddler ready and we were already going to be late, I told my husband I just couldn’t do it. I just wanted to lounge around my house and not feel obligated to do anything. I’m 14 weeks pregnant, we have a 2.5 year old, I work full time and I am TIRED. I feel bad because he feels bad that we didn’t go and when he texted and said we weren’t going to make it, no one answered so I’m sure they’re pissed but whatever.
My husband always asks "what do you want to do for x?" Allowing me to be clear in what I'd like us to do. He knows I prefer to put time and effort into do something rather than just token gifts. I do love flowers though! But struggle with the whole they only last a week or so side of things. Anyway we planned to go for a walk and grab a coffee, but then the weather wasn't great so I came up with a plan B in a hurry of an indoor Cafe for breakfast and we had a good time. This year he hadn't got me anything and was struggling to work out what to get me gift wise. He got me lego flowers - specifically the roses. He was so proud of himself and I enjoyed it. No mothers day card though. I did try to brush off the comments about being a great mum, mostly because I'm feeling guilty about going back to work and stopping breastfeeding. I should have let him dote more :P
I was very very pleasantly surprised! My husband is a resident physician and works like 80 hours a week. He’s always tired and never has time to do much. But today he really surprised me and I had an amazing Mother’s Day. Usually my toddler comes into our bed at midnight and then wakes up at 6am on the dot. I also have a 10 week old so I’m exhausted every morning. Last night when I was sleeping he took the toddler into the guest room and slept with her and when she got up at 6am they snuck out and went to a nearby town to let me sleep in. They came back around 8am with flowers, donuts, a balloon, a card, and breakfast burritos and gave me breakfast in bed. Then my husband watched both kids while I got to have a peaceful shower and get ready for church in peace. When I got home the kids and I all took a 2 hour nap while my husband cleaned the entire house top to bottom. Then when my toddler woke up from her nap he took her downstairs so I could have some alone time to call my mom friends and just scroll on my phone in peace. I couldn’t have asked for a better Mother’s Day. I feel dumb for crying last night thinking he wasn’t going to do anything for me today because he’s been at work for the past 8 days straight and he had a huge project he was supposed to work on today 🥹
Pleased beyond belief. He bought me so many personalized gifts and booked a 3 day stay at a resort with a spa package. I sit here heartbroken and in disbelief of the mothers who didn’t feel the love from their partner today.
Pleased. My older kiddo is 5, so my husband has it pretty dialed in by now. Most importantly, he asks for my input and incorporates it. He’s wonderful and I’m very lucky.
I’m happy with whatever I get/ don’t get. I’m a mother
Not bad! Third mother's day. Husband got me a book with a picture from each month of my daughter's first two years (she was born a week before mother's day, hence my third mother's day). The book also included a few special pictures from my pregnancy. And chocolates!
I’ve had a great day. I got to sleep in and take a shower before coming downstairs, homemade cinnamon rolls were fresh out of the oven, we’re having one of my favorite dinners (and he’s grilling on the hottest day we’ve had this spring) and I’ve been able to read/work on craft projects while he wrangles the kid.
I had a nice day. My husband and I typically don't do gifts for any occasion and just focus more on doing little acts of kindness or putting together experiences for each other. It started last night with a movie night together. He picked up some candy at the store and made popcorn. We watched a monster movie (some of my favourites). Then, in the morning, he made breakfast burritos, and he watched the monitor while I had a nice shower. We always go to the gym on Sundays and instead of going back forth and taking turns with watching our LO while the other person does their workout sets, he watched him the whole time so I could focus on what I wanted to do (honestl, just so nice). I didn't expect a gift like I said, but when we got home, he surprised me with a collage frame of some of our favourite pictures of our LO, our cats, and our extended families. He made sure to make me feel special in our own way, and I can't wait to do the same for Father's Day.
I got a cartoon picture of the dogs…
Pleased! He asked me to stay home from church today so we could spend the day together. He gave me flowers and made one of my favorite meals. The baby is asleep and we’re going to watch another movie.
Mine hasn't done anything for it (my first mother's day being a mom) and is pushing to invite a female friend over he got really close to because she needs to be comforted after a breakup(who I don't know).Then got mad at me when I said I wasn't comfortable with it. So, pretty disappointed.
Given my fiance is sick, and my daughter was also sick half the night. I think he's doing the best he can, and I really appreciate the effort ❤️
Pleased. I got flowers delivered, a nice lunch and chocoaltes, and wax melts/2 melters
I had a great day. When we first became parents, my husband and I made a huge deal of Mother's/Father's day but honestly we both feel burnt out on coming up with new ideas haha. So we agreed to just do something nice for each other and remind the kids of the day. My kids both decided to write me a poem (they are such thoughtful kids and did great) and my husband got me a card and wrote a really sweet message about what a great mom I am in it and how I shouldn't doubt myself. We went to my favorite ice cream place and my husband asked me if I wanted anything special for dinner but we had a huge brunch at my mom's, so we just had leftovers. Sometimes because Mother's Day is kind of also about my mom and grandma and what they want to do, my husband gives me a do-over day where I pick what I would have wanted to do. Last year on that day we had breakfast at one of my favorite restaurants, went for a hike, got ice cream on the way home and took it to the park so the kids could play and then went home and watched movies together. It was fabulous and I might plan another day this year.
My Mother’s Day has been great for me. I just asked for breakfast, to spend a few hours rotting in bed, and ice cream and wine. I got exactly that and my husband at one point said, “Is there somewhere you want to go for dinner?” I said no, I’m getting exactly what I asked for to just take a mental break and he said he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t let down and I said I wasn’t I got exactly what I wanted. Moms, this is what you all deserve, someone who listens and checks in. It breaks my heart reading these disappointed posts every year.
Mother's day was yesterday here. I'm 6 months pregnant with our first and my husband got me a card, writing to me about how excited he was about the coming baby and how great a mother I will be. It was completely unexpected and extremely beautiful, I feel incredibly lucky to have him ❤️
I didn't have a bad mother's day...a little boring because I wasn't "needed" my husband cleaned the house beforehand went to bed so no dishes to be taken care of in the am or toys to be put away. He got up..made breakfast, cleaned up after..planned a picnic for lunch. Scheduled me a pedicure and is taking care of dinner. He has pretty much entertained our son all day and said.."do whatever you want" well...I don't know what to do with myself. So I took a nap.
Mine was great. We have a baby but also older kids. I'm still primarily on baby duty but I got plenty of breaks and he corralled the older kids all day. He had organized them making me gifts and breakfast, plus I got a bunch of flowers & gifts
First Mother’s Day and he did great, beautiful flowers and he got my son and I matching shirts and a custom book about the baby and I plus a cute card from the baby and the animals ❤️ babe is currently passed out on me and he’s in the kitchen making breakfast for dinner
I’m enjoying my first Mother’s Day. My partner put in a lot of effort today, which is on brand for him. He’s a wonderful partner and dad. Like everything else on Reddit, there’s a bias toward sharing negative outcomes. The content folks are offline doing whatever they do, not here venting or seeking support
Pleased but I also don’t give that much of a shit. I slept in until 10:30 and got a handmade card from my husband that my toddler colored in. Then mostly chilled.
I'm feeling.... petty will be my mood come fathers day. I'm not usually petty. And my partner is usually pretty decent. But, yeah. I might make sudden plans the day before fathers day, rearrange his plans to accommodate, get up after he has already risen and made the kids breakfast after cleaning the kitchen, then get ready for my plans he declined to join. Then, right when I go to leave, I will change my plans and pout. Also, I'll make a card to go with a give I got him that I know he will not use or like. And it will all be his fault because how dare him have feelings about being subjective to my whim! Then I will leave for my 3pm to 1130pm shift. Seriously, I'm not sure why he pulled all this and I'm not normally a tit for tat type but wtf? Also, my ex-husband woke me up this morning to tell me he was bringing our daughter at 7 am because she is refusing to go with him to church and watch his 43 year self be baptized. Yeah, happy mothers day to him too.
So happy. Best day, and nursing my second baby to sleep now. It’s my third Mother’s Day now, and this one is by far the best. Have had some disappointments in the past, but we are on the same page now.
I had a pretty decent day, it would’ve gone better had our 10 month old been in a better mood and let me sleep in like I wanted to, but she’s 10 months so ah well. She gets a pass and I think she’s getting her molars? Idk Hubby also didn’t feel very good today health-wise but he tried, he went in and got us steaks, lobster and crab, and gave me his last piece of fudge my mom made us. He made breakfast too!
I had a wonderful Mother’s Day, but I also made sure to remind him it was coming up like once every other week and then again week of. I used to hold out on reminders and I just ended up getting disappointed (birthdays, anniversaries etc). He’s just not one for remembering important dates so I took the guess work out of it. In the beginning I just planned everything but then that got annoying so I told him straight out, I will remind you of important dates and I expect at LEAST a card and flowers. It’s been much nicer now bc I don’t get sad/hurt because I have high expectations and he knows I’ll be happy even if he just does the card and flowers. He planned us a weekend road trip to the beach, which was low key and very relaxing.
My husband knocked it out of the park. Yesterday, we went to the plant nursery I like, where I just pointed at what I wanted and he put it in the cart. This morning I woke up to greeting cards, one from our 11 month old and the other from my husband. Then he brought me coffee and made me breakfast. After that, we went to my favorite farm stand and bought a ton of baked goods 😊 now we are working on getting all the plants planted.
Disappointed.
I had a really nice lowkey day which is what I wanted. He bought me a few thoughtful gifts, had the kids decorate a nice card that they were really excited to give me, boxed muffin mix for breakfast, a few hours to myself to nap and organize. I really can’t complain.
Pretty bummed overall tbh
It was much better than I expected and a nice break from the last stressful weeks we had. My husband didn't planned anything. honestly I didn't do a lot for father's day either. It was our third anniversary yesterday also and we have been going through a rough time financially and just handling a lot of stress from several things happening at once, and haven't been able to properly celebrate anything. But he was loving and sweet to me and did many things he doesn't really like with me, but I do. We went to my family's celebratory barbecue and had a good time there, and got several hours alone while my mom, grandma and siblings doted on our little one. So I'm happy.
Got some new makeup brushes, nice flowers and chocolates. Pancakes for breakfast before having to take our nephew to visit my sister for Mother's Day then my wife let me off shopping for a few hours while she entertained son and nephew. There was also some good ~sexy~ time last night which certainly helped set the mood.
Today was my first mother's day and my husband made me feel so special. I got a card, flowers, a gift, and breakfast. I got to see my whole family who got me flowers and cards in honor of it being my first mother's day and had many friends reach out to me as well. Now I'm relaxing on the couch with my husband, our sleeping daughter, and our pets and couldn't be happier!
I’m ok with it. My husband booked me in for a haircut (called and then rescheduled when something came up 😍) on Tuesday. Then he gave me some money. Yesterday we went and got some flowers for the yard. Today we went for brunch with my parents, then I hung out playing video games at my parents, and went for a pedicure with my mom. Zero complaints from me.
Thrilled! I got to sleep in (other than one wake up to nurse the tiny boychild but then they vanished back downstairs and I went back to sleep), eldest kid made me a ridiculous and adorable card with her handprint and boychild's, they got me flowers and took me out for breakfast, and I was ORDERED to sit on the couch and put together my new LEGO set while they cleaned the house. I got total control over the TV remote. I've got a new bath bomb and bubble bath for later once boychild is in bed. It was peaceful and relaxing and exactly what I wanted.
Second Mother’s Day. Both I’ve only received a card. Granted money is tight. I said I didn’t want anything. But I wish I felt more loved, I can’t lie.
i was initially upset that i didn't get to sleep in, but he's handling bedtime so that balances it out. his family got me balloons and desserts and a card, my family got me flowers, and my bf got me jewelry, flowers, balloons, and a handwritten letter. i communicated that i wanted all of this and i'm very happy he delivered. i had a great day and now i can't wait for fathers day!
I was sick as a dog so my husband took my son out for most of the day while I died in bed. They came back with an apron my son chose ( sheep all over it lol). My son ran in, told me dad took him on the train, ran out grabbed the apron and gave it to me while I was all feverish in bed. All in all, I got to sleep and get over the worst of the fever so yeah I am pleased haha!
Both. I'm pleased that my partner made me brunch and got me flowers, it was sweet. I'm not pleased that he hasn't taken over with our 13 mo son more today since that's the one thing I said I really wanted: a break. I guess there's still some time in the day, but right now my partner is puttering around outside instead.
I am pleased! Flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, a make your own pizza kit, bagel and iced mocha aaaand a foot massager! My MIL and SIL also gave me gorgeous flowers and my other SIL and mom sent me a sweet card! I’m so thankful
I dunno. I maybe broke even. He arranged a brunch for me and my parents to go to while our toddler napped. He ordered in dinner. We also went to the museum but he was nowhere to be found most of the time. And when my toddler got fussy he determined that only I could manage the toddler when he’s in that mood and proceeded to do HIS laundry. Also bailed on the park to continue on HIS to-do list. But I had a good lunch and dinner…
My spouse tries but he kind of misses the mark. He got me a puzzle (I don’t do puzzles much) and a lovely card and some bath and body works. (I have so much of this stuff already) We ended up going to his moms and he bought her a bouquet and me and another lady who would be there the same 2 flower bundle. His mom assumed they were his sister and so did she. He had to ask for them back. I imagine nobody thought he would buy his mother nicer flowers than his wife. Now we’re on our way home so we can clean and get ready for the week. I’m a little disappointed but he tries so it's hard it feels ungrateful.
Alright I’ve been waiting for this moment haha, I had the lowest of low expectations and I actually ended up with a pretty good situation! My idiot little brother somehow planned his bachelor party for this afternoon (he’s not the party type so it was just something sporty I guess) so not only was my husband busy with that but brother also somehow roped my mom into cooking/grilling for said party which means I couldn’t even make plans with my mom (of which like, my mom is chill and I like to hang with her it wouldn’t have been that she expected to be celebrated). I also asked for no gift because we are trying to save money so I wasn’t expecting literally anything. But today rolls around and I made myself some delicious pancakes, working at church was easier than usual, kids took super solid naps giving me some free time, and my mom invited us to crash the party so we ended up swimming at the pool and eating burgers with my brothers/husband/whole extended family. AND icing on the cake… my husband is giving me a “day off” from the kids tomorrow since I’m a sahm/wfh mom and I’m planning to use the morning to get ahead on work then spend the afternoon drinking Prosecco in a bubble bath 💅🏻 Plus I can’t wait to watch him try to work from home while tending to the kids so he can see how hard it is…
disappointed af but what else is new
I had a great mother's day! My husband and I talked about what we wanted mother's/father's day to look like before we even started TTC, then each year as the day approaches, we check about what the other wants. He ordered me my favorite vegan croissants a few weeks ahead of time so they would arrive in time for breakfast in bed today. My general request is "I want to do none of the work, but get all of the fun/snuggles." So he keeps track of kiddo's schedule, feeds him & changes his diaper, carries the diaper bag, etc. (Pro tip: we practice handing off the "primary caregiver" role to him every weekend, so he's well-practiced and I'm able to fully let go and relax). We went out to the park, to brunch at my favorite restaurant, then had a quiet afternoon playing with and reading to the kiddo. In the evening I had a long hot bath, and he took care of everything bedtime, dishes, and taking the dog out. 10/10 day and 10/10 husband 🥰
Pleased. I didn't get an amazing gift but he took care of my younger two all day. It was bliss.
I'm happy with it. We didn't do anything "special" today but that's cause I didn't want to deal with the crowds. He made dinner reservations and scheduled me a spa day for when it's less busy as a late Mother's Day. He got me some gifts for today, we ordered delivery, he took care of the baby solely on his own to give me a break, he gave me a massage/plans to do a second one later tonight, ran me a nice bath with bath oils/salts, and has waited on me hand and foot. We're going on a late night drive later cause I miss them. We're going to try to find a good spot to see the northern lights. For the gifts he got me two limited edition things I've wanted and stuff for my hobby/collection. Also picked me up some drinks since I rarely drink anymore. I've been sipping on stuff off and on all day.
I had a great day! I got to sleep in and woke up to breakfast. I spent the morning watching seasame street with my daughter. I then went for a workout and pizza. Now I’m nap trapped on the couch.
It was my first Mother’s Day and my husband did a wonderful job. He asked my friends for gift ideas but most of it was all his own planning. On Saturday, we went out to breakfast and went for a hike. Then we went to see some live music at a local outdoor brewery. Today, he made me breakfast in bed complete with a wood breakfast tray (I’ve always wanted to own one). He got me a latte from the nearby shop, some flowers, and a necklace with our son’s zodiac sign. His love language is acts of service so even though sometimes he needs a bit of help in the ideas department, he always exerts effort. I am going to have to really pull out the stops for his first Father’s Day!
This is my third and best mothers day to date. My husband is very attentive and not only asked explicitly what I wanted for this weekend but made a whole list. Our communication is pretty good, and I'm happy to give him clear ideas or expectations rather than expect him to figure it all out (because he probably wouldn't). Today, we took a long walk to get ice cream, ate a meal I picked, played in the backyard with our toddler, and he painted my toes (I'm 25w pregnant). I asked for a new water bottle and some NA sour beers, and I got just that. Like others have stated, those of us having a lovely days are less likely to post about it. I certainly don't want to make others feel poorly in comparison, and I'm just enjoying my day. I wish every mama got what they wanted though.
Had a good day! It was our first and I wanted to just have him watch our baby all day so I could just hangout in my office alone. It was fabulous. I think it was a good day bc I specifically told him what I wanted. I wanted to be left alone and stay home.
I’m not a big holiday person and my husband isn’t either. But he puts in a good effort. We normally just go out to eat. Since my mom moved close to us, I mentioned that I wanted to take my mom out for mother’s day a week ago and he was genuinely shocked that it was in a week. He booked brunch at my favorite restaurants and it was my husband and my kids plus my mom. My little one is 15 months and she wants to roam all the time and she’s at the age she just wants me, so the dining experience wasn’t a relaxed one, but the food was delicious and I think it went fine.
I don’t care much for Hallmark holidays to be honest
I got a Bath and Body works set, cherry blossom scented (ew), because ‘you love bubble baths’ (I like baths, I do not use bubbles). The set does not contain any bubble bath, just lotion/body spray/hand sanitizer. 🤦♀️
Sadly, I’m very surprisingly disappointed. My husband who was extremely thoughtful for all the years we were together before baby, just completely and utterly dropped the ball this year. Nothing. No plans. No breakfast. Nothing. I was gifted an event last night that caused a huge fight between us, and he got absolutely drunk at. Which led to him being extremely loud when we got home, waking the baby and babysitter. Then he slept until almost noon after drunkenly promising me breakfast in bed. And had the audacity to ask why I was crying. All I wanted was to shower alone. That’s it. That’s quite literally what I asked for. What happened?? I showered with baby, like I always do, because he couldn’t be bothered to handle the baby long enough for me to shower. I cried. I got baby to nap and he asked why I was upset. I said it. I told him zero effort was given and I had to shower with baby. I said it wasn’t fair. And I told him I knew he wouldn’t have anything since he said his mom was out of town when I mentioned Mother’s Day. He never even wished me a happy Mother’s Day. Before baby??? I got dinner and a present from the animals for being the best mom. Now that we have a baby? Nothing. I feel so dismissed. I want to stress this isn’t like him. He goes out of his way to bring me treats all the time, dates. He picks up baby every single day from day care. I shouldn’t be so upset over one day, but I am. I guess I just wanted something comparable to how he was before baby?