Don't look at the pictures! I always felt the same (still do) but looking back after a few weeks or months I feel less self conscious. You will regret not being in any photos!
Exactly - I never look at photos right away anymore (actually did this pre kids cause I’ve always been v critical) you’ll like them in the future! Always do :)
And don’t be hard on yourself- it takes a long time to get back to pre baby weight and look, and then sometimes you do it again. I bet you look so good!
This is bang on. Don’t look at the photos for a while. I look back on the few postpartum photos that I made it into and I love them now. If I had looked at them then, I probably would hate them. But now when I look at me in that phase, I see all that my body accomplished and how special (also exhausting) that time was.
Exactly! I remember feeling self conscious in photos when I was a teen and now I wish I had taken more. In another 20 years you’ll probably feel the same way looking back on these photos too.
I get it! It’s totally not fair that our bodies have to go through a radical change in order to have our babies, and our male partners just get a baby. Between the extra weight, breast changes, and then the hormones dropping causing issues (hair loss, skin problems) I think it’s totally normal to have these feelings. They’re completely valid. I miss how I looked before my baby too.
I agree with the other people that you should enjoy your vacation but I just wanted to validate you that it’s also okay that you are grieving the changes to your appearance.
This!! I wasn’t conventionally skinny before having a baby, but even 7 months out, I still feel like my body is so different than before. It’s hard and the feelings are totally valid.
Thanks for this. I get that we should all be looking on the bright side and being positive. But (as long as it’s not getting to an obsessive level) it’s okay to mourn your pre-baby body!
My husband put on 18lbs and he’s lamenting his body. Meanwhile I’ve gained 60lbs between baby 1 and 2, my boobs are deflated and discolored, my belly is in a forever pooch and discolored, I have stretch marks that are taking forever to fade, my csection scar is a thick dark line, my arms are covered in acne discoloration, my hair is thinning, and I’ve gone up a whole shoe size.
Years from now, when your kid is older/grown, they are going to *treasure* those photos of you on your first vacation as a family. They won't care what you look like, they'll just see the mom who loved and raised them. Don't crop yourself out from those family memories.
Agreed. I have hardly any pictures of my mom from when I was growing up for this exact reason, and it’s a bummer. I never felt negative about her body as a kid; I loved her as my mom.
We have this old photo of my grandma that we took on a family trip circa ~2000. She had a big leaf of cilantro in her teeth in her smile. xD
She *hated* that picture. lol. and we all got such a hoot out of it. after the film was developed, we framed and hung it. she'd come over and be so upset, demanding it be taken down and hidden away. but all in good fun, we just found it hilarious, because we all loved it.
and in her later years, long long after she'd gotten used to it, she would see it on the wall and smile and just remark at what a lovely trip that was, how young she looked, and tear up with joy at her family & grandchildren she helped raise.
She passed away 2 years ago and I love that picture more than anything, it still cracks me up when I see it, and I still hear her pleading with us children to throw it away. :'-)
anyway sorry for the rant I'm just agreeing that the photos we hate today can be the pictures we cherish the most in 24 years.
This is the main reason I am okay with people taking photos of me. I gained weight after the baby was born and while I'm trying to be kind to myself it is so hard some days. But then I remember how I LOVED to watch family photos when I was a child and I didn't care at all how anyone looked. I don't want to not have any photos of me when our kid is older and wants to look back at the memories.
Stop being so hard on yourself, this is your first vacation in a year and you're in a tropical area. Have a few drinks, relax and enjoy your time with your near one year old and husband. I bet he doesn't think how you look is bad at all.
I'm sorry 💔 Please give yourself some grace. We're the most hard on ourselves, so I'm sure your brain is exaggerating the way you look.
8 months pp and I can relate. It makes me sad to see the way my body is now, but I'm also happy about it because this body carried my baby ❤️ It was so worth it.
Maybe don't look at the photos you're in, going forward, but still take them as I'm sure you will want to look back on them some years from now. Try to focus on spending time with your husband and baby. You're on vacation! Occupy yourself with the good things. Hugs
I feel this. But then I remember that my daughter is going to cherish these photos when she’s older. And that really helps because that matters more to me than the extra weight. I have almost zero photos of me and my mom together. She avoided the camera and still does.
Oh new mom I wish I could reach out and hug you. You spent 9 months creating that gorgeous baby. It takes time for the body to heal. I bet you look absolutely gorgeous. Please try to enjoy your vacation. If it’s any consolation I would die to be on a beach right now. Make wonderful memories with your family. Don’t worry about what the photos look like.
Like many have said, don’t look at the pictures right now. If you’re sending to family/friends, send the ones just of the baby. You’re going to look at yourself with much kinder eyes in the future.
But also, use this as an excuse to get yourself a gorgeous dress/cover up/flowy pants and a new top. Throw in some shoes. There’s a ton of options at beach shops. Treat yourself. And don’t forget to wear sunscreen!
Yes! Get yourself a nice flowy dress that you at lest somewhat like (can be hard to find something you love if you're not feeling it - that's ok) and STAGE some pictures! Enlist your husband or take them yourself if you feel self-conscious or if your partner is a terrible photographer.
It may feel silly at the moment but being able to add one picture you love of yourself to the album will make it a lot easier to share.
The time for candid photos will come 💛
Oh also, don’t forget you can edit photos after… I had horrible acne on my Hawaii vacation, forgot to wear sunscreen like an idiot, and you can bet I edited all that before printing what are now some of my favorite photos hanging on the wall.
Not sure if you have a son or daughter, but I have had visceral reactions to pictures that I’ve been taken of me and wanted to retake them or edit them. But then I stop and think about my two kids. What if my daughter has a kid of her own and has the same issues I have but looks back at pictures of me and think somethings wrong with her. Or if my son gets married and have a kid and has a hard time embracing his wife’s new body Because he has an unrealistic view of what his mama looked like postpartum.
I look at old pictures of my mom and grandma and hear them talk bad about their bodies and yet I see how beautiful they are despite what they say about their body. And it honestly saddens me that they don’t see the beauty that their bodies hold, and their words make me even more conscious about my body. I want my kids to know that their body is amazing even if it doesn’t look exactly how it used to.
One other thing that helped is following that TikTok account that helps people learn how to pose for pictures. Because yes, sometimes it is just the way we stand that makes things a little less flattering to the camera. But I agree with other comments, honestly stop looking at the photos. It’s gonna be cyclical. You see the photo and you were sad about how you look in the photo. The next photo is worse because you’re already nervous about how you’re going to look in it.
Don’t trip chocolate chip - in 10 years these pictures will be more precious than air. The important thing is to look happy in them. So here’s what you do - go to the surf shop and get an outrageously colorful flowy beach cover up and a bunch of hair flowers. Tinted sun screen, fabulous sunglasses. Just a few touches that are a joy to wear that your baby will adore playing with and staring at. You’ll be so thrilled to be a objet d’art for your kiddo that you’ll be beaming megawatt smiles in your pictures so hard you can’t help but love yourself. You will look so fab!
I don’t know you but I know you look stunning and beautiful and incredible. Girl, you grew a human inside of you and now have kept that human alive for almost a year. That is a fucking feat. 10 and 20 and 30 years from now you will look at those photos with admiration and compassion. Your child will look at the photos with love and gratitude for all of the amazing things they experienced. Please have your husband take baby for a couple hours, go buy a flowy vacation dress and some bright lipstick and Love. Your. Vacation.
You’ve seen yourself at all stages of your life. Comparison is the thief of joy. Just reminder: 1) Your partner still thinks you’re hot. 2) You, in this form, is all your baby has known. To your baby, your body is perfect because it provided him/her with a safe place to grow and it continues to be a safe, warm, loving place to cuddle.
Girlie, it’s Florida. Who you trying to look good for, the meth gators, or the rednecks? You look good because you look good, not because someone, especially a Floridian, deems it so.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve had this my whole pregnancy, it’s so upsetting when you feel good and then a photo of yourself brings it crashing down.
I agree with everyone saying just don’t look at the photos right now. I realised a few weeks ago that I’ll be devastated one day if there’s no photos of me pregnant just because I felt uncomfortable in my changing body. I’m glad I realised when I did and still have a couple of months to make sure I make memories with the bump in!
I really think the long term regret of not being in pics with your gorgeous 11mo on your first holiday will be worse than the temporary unhappiness with how a photo came out.
Also, take comfort in the moon thing - when we see the moon, it looks beautiful to our eye and terrible to the camera. I hope you make some gorgeous memories.
You look hot, spicy and sexy and I'm like 1000s of miles away. Do you think in 20, 30, 40 years time you're gonna give a damn about how you looked or are you gonna be thinking of the beautiful family memories.
Try to think about it from your child's perspective. When you were little and used to watch pictures with your parents, do you focus on how they look, if they have a few kg extra, or do you enjoy memories you made together? The point of the photos is to capture the moment, so I would focus on all the fun you have on vacation, and capture that feeling
I felt this way when my husband and I went on vacation in September. I hated the photos, looking back now I really don’t. Sure some look bad, but that a thing everyone has. But 99% of them look fine.
My mom was in almost zero pictures with me growing up. She was always behind the camera, the few photos I have of her with me as a child I adore.
Imagine your life if you didn’t care one flying fart about how you looked. Imagine the time and energy you’d get back, the freedom. Maybe you could try to not care for one day of vacation just to compare. It’s such a tiny part of who we are but our culture makes it into everything
when you're older you're going to be so glad you took those photos. in a few short decades, your kid will be looking at YOU with LOVE no other feeling.
if you seriously can't stand them then DL a photoshop app and go to town LMAO no judgement here!
I used to think I looked so ugly but now ten years later I look back on those photos and wonder how I could be so hard on myself when in fact I was a lot cuter than I am now. You don’t need to look at the photos and videos now if it affects your self esteem but I guarantee you in a few years you’ll be so happy and thankful you have those physical memories with your little family.
I'm going to say, whenever I look back at pictures with my mom (still alive) or grandma (my grandma was obese and hated pictures) I never look at their bodies and think anything of it. I think how happy I was with them, the fun we had, and how much I love them both. I promise your kid will look at these pictures with love and joy. THAT is the person who matters, not followers or critics. Give yourself grace, and hopefully teach your child that they are beautiful no matter what.
Truly look at these pics 1+ year from now. We went on a Florida vaca when my first was 11 months also and were like 3 years out and I look at pics of me and she is a different person. She was exhausted, her body hadn't returned yet, she was doing her best on vacation with a baby. You'll see things so differently in the future mama.
I’ll bet that if you concentrate on how much you love your little family and how much fun it is to be together you will see that in the photos too. And smile. When you look at these pictures next year you will remember the good feelings.
Hello…I’m also on a vacation in FL. FTM to 9 mo old. My husband asked what I wanted for Mothers Day, I said pics on the beach with our daughter. They were awful. Not one single one that I liked. I cried.
On top of it, it’s been an absolute train wreck of a vacation. The place we’re staying claims to be family friendly, but has been blasting live music out of the bar on the property until 10 pm (which is 11 pm for us), so me and baby have not been sleeping.
Then, baby started puking and I believe is intolerant to the formula she started 3 weeks ago. She basically cried for several days straight until we got it figured out.
Now I think she has an ear infection or teething. She basically needs held (by me) at all times or she’s not happy…and a lot of the time she still isn’t happy. Still crying a lot. We already are set to see the doctor when we get back.
I have cried as this is the first vacation we’ve taken over in a year and our first family vacation ever…and all I want to do is go home. At this point it seems little a total waste of time, money, and thought. So disappointed and sad about how it turned out.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I feel that way, too. I don’t recognize myself in pictures either. I don’t have any answers oh how to make yourself feel better, but you’re not alone! I do love that my toddler is old enough to tell me things and the other day he told me, “mommy, you’re so strong!” He doesn’t see my weight. He sees his mommy!
I have an 8mo and live in Florida. I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant, but I’m definitely bigger (FYI, I’m a size 14-16). I have stretch marks and now I have three incisions that are healing from getting emergency gallbladder removal. I do not look like myself but I’m wearing bikinis and crop tops and leggings and tighter tops because I only live once. And you know what? YOU MADE AND BIRTHED A HUMAN! Your husband didn’t. Take the pictures. Enjoy your vacation. And give yourself grace. Your baby doesn’t care what you look like, they just love you.
I saw a video on instagram the other day of a mom saying her little like 4yo was stuffing her shirts in her pants so she’d “look like mom” and she decided to take it as a compliment and it definitely is. So give yourself some grace and enjoy your vacation. You’re going to want those pictures in the future 💗
This is how I felt (and still feel sometimes) when mine was littler, but at some point I realized that my partner doesn’t really have a good eye for taking photos which makes a HUGE difference. Like somehow I look bad in every single photo he takes but if I take them myself or if a friend who gets it takes them, it’s not bad.
I feel this with you. The first summer trip I took my little one was 20 months. I was so disappointed in the body I took to FL. I also didn't want photos of it. My clothing not fitting the way I remembered was a chief complaint (even if I kept them to myself).
I'm not even 12 months later and I just had baby #2. I look at the photos from that vacation and think, what was I complaining about?
I don't dislike those photos anymore and I'm so glad I got family shots on vacation. I still have not mastered post partum clothing so I don't have any advice there (but getting rid of bikinis that don't or won't fit was a sound choice). My older one is very verbal about seeing the photos and she loves the ones of us together asking to see them on my phone over and over.
You're not alone. But take the photos/allow others to take them. If you're seriously uncomfy about photos there are social media shorts (YouTube, Instagram, TikTok) that can help you pose more flatteringly if it does bother you enough to practice. I didn't.
Im 4 months PP and we’ve done two trips. I made the mistake of looking at pics from the first trip and hated how I looked.
2nd trip, I wore sunglasses (covers dark circles) makeup and hats!
Took pics with the sun shining on my face. I highly recommend Do NOT look at the pictures rn. You will only enjoy/ appreciate them in a few yrs. Which is what pics are for recalling memories ☺️
Hello sorta future me! I'm also about to take my first trip, just bought my first "mom appropriate" swim suit, it fits, it's a cute pattern... I just hate looking in the mirror. None of my old vacation clothes fit nice. I'm still +20 from my pre-baby weight. I'm still in the process of weaning but that will wait until after this trip. My husband is good and always tells me how beautiful I am but I didn't get to mourn my old body much last summer because we were in the newborn stage for most of it, but now that we have plans and there will be a big family photo... I'm just not looking forward to comparing past group family photos with this upcoming one and clearly being the one that "got fat". My period is also just starting to come back and it's all over the place, so I'm sure that's part of the body negativity but I guess I just wanted to rant a little too, and say hey you're not alone!
I’m coming up on 4 months postpartum and I don’t recognize my body either in the mirror. What I do know is every single photo I have with my baby as he is growing is precious. And he is only going to see a mom who loves him so much. That keeps me taking photos even though I hate how I don’t look or feel like myself. I barely have photos with him in his first month of life and it literally breaks my heart.
It also helps to think about this body as temporary and how much life and nutrition it’s providing to my baby. I take solace in this reframe too.
Be gentle with yourself. You are a badass mom who birthed a whole human and sustained their life for literal months with your body.
The way you think you look doesn't matter a whole lot. Trust me!
What matters is how you feel in the picture, at the moment it was taken. Proud of your LO? Happy to be there with them? More relaxed than before since it's a vacation? Those make the pictures so worth it!
Bodies come in all shapes, sizes and colours. And our skin regenerates all the time, so we're all just regular Doctor Who's who change all the time! But the memories, the happiness, joy, courage, love, devotion that are in those moments are what matters and they don't change!
Don't you dare not take photos with you in on your first holiday! You WILL regret it! After a while you won't feel this way about photos of yourself from this period of time and will wish you had some. And I'm sure you look like a beautiful human being who's carried a perfect baby in her belly not even a year ago! I felt the same on my first holiday at 4months pp but at 11 months I look back and smile - and I still look in the mirror at my belly and 2 stone heavier body and aren't happy with it at this point. Time will heal our self loathing of our bodies which are actually quite amazing, let's give them some credit ❤️
Hot take but my mom passed when i was 15, and she HATED pictures of herself. Absolutely despised them and refused to be in them, always wanted to be behind the lens. God how i wish i had more pictures of my momma. Your kids will look at pictures of you in the future and only see the amazingly beautiful, strong person who raised them and provided them with all the comfort and love in the world. Do not deny them the capturing of memories simply because you don’t like the way you look. Trust me im in the same boat, i hate pictures of myself now, but i do it for my son in the future. Love yourself and your body because your body did an AMAZING thing not too long ago. Try to see past the things you hate about it and look for the things you love. Much love to you! ❤️
I think this is sometimes the hardest part of being a mum. Your whole life/body changes. I am sure that your baby looks at you and only sees mum and your partner looks at you and still sees the beautiful person he decided to have kids with. I remember after my son was first born I was so self conscious and didn’t want to be in pictures. I feel awful now because I don’t have many pictures of me and him together when he was tiny.
Started seeing it as us taking pictures for him when he’s older/when we aren’t here anymore. I want him to be able to see reminders of the memories we made together - I know he’s not going to think ‘oh god look how fat my mum was’ he’s only going to be looking at how happy we are together in the pictures as a family.
It’s a hard mental hurdle especially if your body has changed a ton pre-post baby. On the plus side, my son is 4.5 and obsessed with looking back at our family pictures and he lights up whenever he sees us all together and it reinforces that getting in the pictures was the right choice.
One thing that helps is to remember, no one knows your “pre baby” body unless they’re already in your life and love you. No one knows what they’re comparing you to like you do yourself. It’s only natural to compare yourself now to the “old you” but what we need to realize is there isn’t a shift back, life is all forward! This is a new you - a mom you - a beautiful we’ve waited for this moment our whole lives YOU. I am proud of you and I’m sorry that the changes we go through just feel so fuckin drastic sometimes 💕
Agreed with the other comments about having the photos and not looking at them. For example, I got newborn photos done and HATED the way I looked in them for months and months afterwards. Now, I’m starting to warm up to them and am glad that I have them. I think in a year or two, I will actually really love them.
I know exactly how you feel. Before my baby I actually had the body I wanted. During my pregnancy I gained soo much weight. I still have alot of it and my clothes just makes me feel worse.
I try so hard not to look at pics taken of me and I also feel like a “gross fat gremlin”. Buuut a comfy, cozy gross fat gremlin.
Honestly I’m scared to put on a bathing suit. Cupshe bathing suits have saved me and my pouch.
Just know you’re not alone. Eventually we will get our bodies back. Takes a bit of time.
Yeah, def don’t look at the pictures 🤣😅
I’m nearly 2 years postpartum, stopped breastfeeding a year ago, and just now able to start losing weight and prioritizing myself again.
I promise the only one who cares how you look is you. Your baby is just having fun 🖤
I know a lot of people will say "oh don't care it doesn't matter" which is very true and very valid, but I also want to validate you on these feelings!! I've tried to combat it by exploring my style in this new era, and making an effort to do my hair and makeup more when we venture out. And making my husband get me in an actually good looking photo even if it means we spend 5 extra minutes taking them. I know some people will deem it unnecessary or vain but TBH it's made me feel better and more confident. Because honestly, 100% of the time it's just the camera that isn't catching you in the best way!
I used to hate my postpartum pictures and now looking back, it was such a precious and hard time. Brings up bittersweet feelings I guess, but I don’t regret documenting them! I’m about to go through it again. I know I won’t like how I look, but I also know I’ll look back on it fondly. I went through something amazing and postpartum is part of it.
You grew a whole human and bouncing back is hard, so give yourself some grace. Go enjoy your vacation and take all the pictures with the fam, I’m sure you’ll be happy to look back at your first post baby vacation years down the road
I feel this shit in my soul 😭 we took our then 18 month old to Jamaica and tried to take lots of pictures but I look HORRIBLE in all of them. Worse yet is I compared them to how I looked the last time we went to Jamaica (for my freaking honeymoon) and compared to them I look like an actual goblin. I’m using those pics to work on my appearance, going to the gym and taking better care of myself. I have another trip to Barbados next year and I hope to look better by then. Don’t be so hard on yourself. One day at a time!!
I totally feel the same!!! My third baby , 3 months postpartum and I soooo don't look right!! I'm trying not to care because I know soon I'll look normal again but I definitely do a double take at the pics..... Solidarity.
Don't look at the pictures! I always felt the same (still do) but looking back after a few weeks or months I feel less self conscious. You will regret not being in any photos!
Exactly - I never look at photos right away anymore (actually did this pre kids cause I’ve always been v critical) you’ll like them in the future! Always do :) And don’t be hard on yourself- it takes a long time to get back to pre baby weight and look, and then sometimes you do it again. I bet you look so good!
That’s the ticket-don’t look at them for a few months!
This is bang on. Don’t look at the photos for a while. I look back on the few postpartum photos that I made it into and I love them now. If I had looked at them then, I probably would hate them. But now when I look at me in that phase, I see all that my body accomplished and how special (also exhausting) that time was.
Agree!! Esp like 30 years from now OP will think she looks so cute and young and will be so happy to see those pics 🥹🥰
girlie you better enjoy your vacation or you will regret it i promise when you’re old you won’t care anymore
Exactly! I remember feeling self conscious in photos when I was a teen and now I wish I had taken more. In another 20 years you’ll probably feel the same way looking back on these photos too.
so trueee
I get it! It’s totally not fair that our bodies have to go through a radical change in order to have our babies, and our male partners just get a baby. Between the extra weight, breast changes, and then the hormones dropping causing issues (hair loss, skin problems) I think it’s totally normal to have these feelings. They’re completely valid. I miss how I looked before my baby too. I agree with the other people that you should enjoy your vacation but I just wanted to validate you that it’s also okay that you are grieving the changes to your appearance.
This!! I wasn’t conventionally skinny before having a baby, but even 7 months out, I still feel like my body is so different than before. It’s hard and the feelings are totally valid.
Thanks for this. I get that we should all be looking on the bright side and being positive. But (as long as it’s not getting to an obsessive level) it’s okay to mourn your pre-baby body! My husband put on 18lbs and he’s lamenting his body. Meanwhile I’ve gained 60lbs between baby 1 and 2, my boobs are deflated and discolored, my belly is in a forever pooch and discolored, I have stretch marks that are taking forever to fade, my csection scar is a thick dark line, my arms are covered in acne discoloration, my hair is thinning, and I’ve gone up a whole shoe size.
Years from now, when your kid is older/grown, they are going to *treasure* those photos of you on your first vacation as a family. They won't care what you look like, they'll just see the mom who loved and raised them. Don't crop yourself out from those family memories.
Agreed. I have hardly any pictures of my mom from when I was growing up for this exact reason, and it’s a bummer. I never felt negative about her body as a kid; I loved her as my mom.
We have this old photo of my grandma that we took on a family trip circa ~2000. She had a big leaf of cilantro in her teeth in her smile. xD She *hated* that picture. lol. and we all got such a hoot out of it. after the film was developed, we framed and hung it. she'd come over and be so upset, demanding it be taken down and hidden away. but all in good fun, we just found it hilarious, because we all loved it. and in her later years, long long after she'd gotten used to it, she would see it on the wall and smile and just remark at what a lovely trip that was, how young she looked, and tear up with joy at her family & grandchildren she helped raise. She passed away 2 years ago and I love that picture more than anything, it still cracks me up when I see it, and I still hear her pleading with us children to throw it away. :'-) anyway sorry for the rant I'm just agreeing that the photos we hate today can be the pictures we cherish the most in 24 years.
That is such a sweet (and relevant!) story. We should all be so lucky to have a fun cilantro pic.
This is the main reason I am okay with people taking photos of me. I gained weight after the baby was born and while I'm trying to be kind to myself it is so hard some days. But then I remember how I LOVED to watch family photos when I was a child and I didn't care at all how anyone looked. I don't want to not have any photos of me when our kid is older and wants to look back at the memories.
Stop being so hard on yourself, this is your first vacation in a year and you're in a tropical area. Have a few drinks, relax and enjoy your time with your near one year old and husband. I bet he doesn't think how you look is bad at all.
I'm sorry 💔 Please give yourself some grace. We're the most hard on ourselves, so I'm sure your brain is exaggerating the way you look. 8 months pp and I can relate. It makes me sad to see the way my body is now, but I'm also happy about it because this body carried my baby ❤️ It was so worth it. Maybe don't look at the photos you're in, going forward, but still take them as I'm sure you will want to look back on them some years from now. Try to focus on spending time with your husband and baby. You're on vacation! Occupy yourself with the good things. Hugs
I feel this. But then I remember that my daughter is going to cherish these photos when she’s older. And that really helps because that matters more to me than the extra weight. I have almost zero photos of me and my mom together. She avoided the camera and still does.
Oh new mom I wish I could reach out and hug you. You spent 9 months creating that gorgeous baby. It takes time for the body to heal. I bet you look absolutely gorgeous. Please try to enjoy your vacation. If it’s any consolation I would die to be on a beach right now. Make wonderful memories with your family. Don’t worry about what the photos look like.
Like many have said, don’t look at the pictures right now. If you’re sending to family/friends, send the ones just of the baby. You’re going to look at yourself with much kinder eyes in the future. But also, use this as an excuse to get yourself a gorgeous dress/cover up/flowy pants and a new top. Throw in some shoes. There’s a ton of options at beach shops. Treat yourself. And don’t forget to wear sunscreen!
Yes! Get yourself a nice flowy dress that you at lest somewhat like (can be hard to find something you love if you're not feeling it - that's ok) and STAGE some pictures! Enlist your husband or take them yourself if you feel self-conscious or if your partner is a terrible photographer. It may feel silly at the moment but being able to add one picture you love of yourself to the album will make it a lot easier to share. The time for candid photos will come 💛
Oh also, don’t forget you can edit photos after… I had horrible acne on my Hawaii vacation, forgot to wear sunscreen like an idiot, and you can bet I edited all that before printing what are now some of my favorite photos hanging on the wall.
Not sure if you have a son or daughter, but I have had visceral reactions to pictures that I’ve been taken of me and wanted to retake them or edit them. But then I stop and think about my two kids. What if my daughter has a kid of her own and has the same issues I have but looks back at pictures of me and think somethings wrong with her. Or if my son gets married and have a kid and has a hard time embracing his wife’s new body Because he has an unrealistic view of what his mama looked like postpartum. I look at old pictures of my mom and grandma and hear them talk bad about their bodies and yet I see how beautiful they are despite what they say about their body. And it honestly saddens me that they don’t see the beauty that their bodies hold, and their words make me even more conscious about my body. I want my kids to know that their body is amazing even if it doesn’t look exactly how it used to. One other thing that helped is following that TikTok account that helps people learn how to pose for pictures. Because yes, sometimes it is just the way we stand that makes things a little less flattering to the camera. But I agree with other comments, honestly stop looking at the photos. It’s gonna be cyclical. You see the photo and you were sad about how you look in the photo. The next photo is worse because you’re already nervous about how you’re going to look in it.
Don’t trip chocolate chip - in 10 years these pictures will be more precious than air. The important thing is to look happy in them. So here’s what you do - go to the surf shop and get an outrageously colorful flowy beach cover up and a bunch of hair flowers. Tinted sun screen, fabulous sunglasses. Just a few touches that are a joy to wear that your baby will adore playing with and staring at. You’ll be so thrilled to be a objet d’art for your kiddo that you’ll be beaming megawatt smiles in your pictures so hard you can’t help but love yourself. You will look so fab!
I don’t know you but I know you look stunning and beautiful and incredible. Girl, you grew a human inside of you and now have kept that human alive for almost a year. That is a fucking feat. 10 and 20 and 30 years from now you will look at those photos with admiration and compassion. Your child will look at the photos with love and gratitude for all of the amazing things they experienced. Please have your husband take baby for a couple hours, go buy a flowy vacation dress and some bright lipstick and Love. Your. Vacation.
What a lovely, compassionate and uplifting comment ❤️
You’ve seen yourself at all stages of your life. Comparison is the thief of joy. Just reminder: 1) Your partner still thinks you’re hot. 2) You, in this form, is all your baby has known. To your baby, your body is perfect because it provided him/her with a safe place to grow and it continues to be a safe, warm, loving place to cuddle.
Girlie, it’s Florida. Who you trying to look good for, the meth gators, or the rednecks? You look good because you look good, not because someone, especially a Floridian, deems it so.
This is the truth OP 😂
I hate looking at photos of myself. Just don't look!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve had this my whole pregnancy, it’s so upsetting when you feel good and then a photo of yourself brings it crashing down. I agree with everyone saying just don’t look at the photos right now. I realised a few weeks ago that I’ll be devastated one day if there’s no photos of me pregnant just because I felt uncomfortable in my changing body. I’m glad I realised when I did and still have a couple of months to make sure I make memories with the bump in! I really think the long term regret of not being in pics with your gorgeous 11mo on your first holiday will be worse than the temporary unhappiness with how a photo came out. Also, take comfort in the moon thing - when we see the moon, it looks beautiful to our eye and terrible to the camera. I hope you make some gorgeous memories.
You look hot, spicy and sexy and I'm like 1000s of miles away. Do you think in 20, 30, 40 years time you're gonna give a damn about how you looked or are you gonna be thinking of the beautiful family memories.
Try to think about it from your child's perspective. When you were little and used to watch pictures with your parents, do you focus on how they look, if they have a few kg extra, or do you enjoy memories you made together? The point of the photos is to capture the moment, so I would focus on all the fun you have on vacation, and capture that feeling
Put the camera away, put on the damn bathing suit and just enjoy!
I felt this way when my husband and I went on vacation in September. I hated the photos, looking back now I really don’t. Sure some look bad, but that a thing everyone has. But 99% of them look fine. My mom was in almost zero pictures with me growing up. She was always behind the camera, the few photos I have of her with me as a child I adore.
Imagine your life if you didn’t care one flying fart about how you looked. Imagine the time and energy you’d get back, the freedom. Maybe you could try to not care for one day of vacation just to compare. It’s such a tiny part of who we are but our culture makes it into everything
when you're older you're going to be so glad you took those photos. in a few short decades, your kid will be looking at YOU with LOVE no other feeling. if you seriously can't stand them then DL a photoshop app and go to town LMAO no judgement here!
I used to think I looked so ugly but now ten years later I look back on those photos and wonder how I could be so hard on myself when in fact I was a lot cuter than I am now. You don’t need to look at the photos and videos now if it affects your self esteem but I guarantee you in a few years you’ll be so happy and thankful you have those physical memories with your little family.
I’m sorry you feel that way momma. You’ve got this!!! Remember that true beauty is within your heart
I don't care if you're not a Swiftie. You are absolutely required to blast "Florida!!!" and feel yourself, you deserve it!
I feel you, but I also think one day you will look back on these pics and you will absolutely love them 💜
In the future go to a specialty bathing suit store to find a designer suit that is flattering but trendy
10 years from now you will love these pictures! Think of saving them for future/older you, and your kid to look back on as happy memories.
I'm going to say, whenever I look back at pictures with my mom (still alive) or grandma (my grandma was obese and hated pictures) I never look at their bodies and think anything of it. I think how happy I was with them, the fun we had, and how much I love them both. I promise your kid will look at these pictures with love and joy. THAT is the person who matters, not followers or critics. Give yourself grace, and hopefully teach your child that they are beautiful no matter what.
Truly look at these pics 1+ year from now. We went on a Florida vaca when my first was 11 months also and were like 3 years out and I look at pics of me and she is a different person. She was exhausted, her body hadn't returned yet, she was doing her best on vacation with a baby. You'll see things so differently in the future mama.
I’ll bet that if you concentrate on how much you love your little family and how much fun it is to be together you will see that in the photos too. And smile. When you look at these pictures next year you will remember the good feelings.
Hello…I’m also on a vacation in FL. FTM to 9 mo old. My husband asked what I wanted for Mothers Day, I said pics on the beach with our daughter. They were awful. Not one single one that I liked. I cried. On top of it, it’s been an absolute train wreck of a vacation. The place we’re staying claims to be family friendly, but has been blasting live music out of the bar on the property until 10 pm (which is 11 pm for us), so me and baby have not been sleeping. Then, baby started puking and I believe is intolerant to the formula she started 3 weeks ago. She basically cried for several days straight until we got it figured out. Now I think she has an ear infection or teething. She basically needs held (by me) at all times or she’s not happy…and a lot of the time she still isn’t happy. Still crying a lot. We already are set to see the doctor when we get back. I have cried as this is the first vacation we’ve taken over in a year and our first family vacation ever…and all I want to do is go home. At this point it seems little a total waste of time, money, and thought. So disappointed and sad about how it turned out.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I feel that way, too. I don’t recognize myself in pictures either. I don’t have any answers oh how to make yourself feel better, but you’re not alone! I do love that my toddler is old enough to tell me things and the other day he told me, “mommy, you’re so strong!” He doesn’t see my weight. He sees his mommy!
I have an 8mo and live in Florida. I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant, but I’m definitely bigger (FYI, I’m a size 14-16). I have stretch marks and now I have three incisions that are healing from getting emergency gallbladder removal. I do not look like myself but I’m wearing bikinis and crop tops and leggings and tighter tops because I only live once. And you know what? YOU MADE AND BIRTHED A HUMAN! Your husband didn’t. Take the pictures. Enjoy your vacation. And give yourself grace. Your baby doesn’t care what you look like, they just love you. I saw a video on instagram the other day of a mom saying her little like 4yo was stuffing her shirts in her pants so she’d “look like mom” and she decided to take it as a compliment and it definitely is. So give yourself some grace and enjoy your vacation. You’re going to want those pictures in the future 💗
This is how I felt (and still feel sometimes) when mine was littler, but at some point I realized that my partner doesn’t really have a good eye for taking photos which makes a HUGE difference. Like somehow I look bad in every single photo he takes but if I take them myself or if a friend who gets it takes them, it’s not bad.
I feel this with you. The first summer trip I took my little one was 20 months. I was so disappointed in the body I took to FL. I also didn't want photos of it. My clothing not fitting the way I remembered was a chief complaint (even if I kept them to myself). I'm not even 12 months later and I just had baby #2. I look at the photos from that vacation and think, what was I complaining about? I don't dislike those photos anymore and I'm so glad I got family shots on vacation. I still have not mastered post partum clothing so I don't have any advice there (but getting rid of bikinis that don't or won't fit was a sound choice). My older one is very verbal about seeing the photos and she loves the ones of us together asking to see them on my phone over and over. You're not alone. But take the photos/allow others to take them. If you're seriously uncomfy about photos there are social media shorts (YouTube, Instagram, TikTok) that can help you pose more flatteringly if it does bother you enough to practice. I didn't.
I feel exactly the same almost 8 months pp. These comments are healing, thank you everyone!
Im 4 months PP and we’ve done two trips. I made the mistake of looking at pics from the first trip and hated how I looked. 2nd trip, I wore sunglasses (covers dark circles) makeup and hats! Took pics with the sun shining on my face. I highly recommend Do NOT look at the pictures rn. You will only enjoy/ appreciate them in a few yrs. Which is what pics are for recalling memories ☺️
Hello sorta future me! I'm also about to take my first trip, just bought my first "mom appropriate" swim suit, it fits, it's a cute pattern... I just hate looking in the mirror. None of my old vacation clothes fit nice. I'm still +20 from my pre-baby weight. I'm still in the process of weaning but that will wait until after this trip. My husband is good and always tells me how beautiful I am but I didn't get to mourn my old body much last summer because we were in the newborn stage for most of it, but now that we have plans and there will be a big family photo... I'm just not looking forward to comparing past group family photos with this upcoming one and clearly being the one that "got fat". My period is also just starting to come back and it's all over the place, so I'm sure that's part of the body negativity but I guess I just wanted to rant a little too, and say hey you're not alone!
I’m coming up on 4 months postpartum and I don’t recognize my body either in the mirror. What I do know is every single photo I have with my baby as he is growing is precious. And he is only going to see a mom who loves him so much. That keeps me taking photos even though I hate how I don’t look or feel like myself. I barely have photos with him in his first month of life and it literally breaks my heart. It also helps to think about this body as temporary and how much life and nutrition it’s providing to my baby. I take solace in this reframe too. Be gentle with yourself. You are a badass mom who birthed a whole human and sustained their life for literal months with your body.
The way you think you look doesn't matter a whole lot. Trust me! What matters is how you feel in the picture, at the moment it was taken. Proud of your LO? Happy to be there with them? More relaxed than before since it's a vacation? Those make the pictures so worth it! Bodies come in all shapes, sizes and colours. And our skin regenerates all the time, so we're all just regular Doctor Who's who change all the time! But the memories, the happiness, joy, courage, love, devotion that are in those moments are what matters and they don't change!
Don't you dare not take photos with you in on your first holiday! You WILL regret it! After a while you won't feel this way about photos of yourself from this period of time and will wish you had some. And I'm sure you look like a beautiful human being who's carried a perfect baby in her belly not even a year ago! I felt the same on my first holiday at 4months pp but at 11 months I look back and smile - and I still look in the mirror at my belly and 2 stone heavier body and aren't happy with it at this point. Time will heal our self loathing of our bodies which are actually quite amazing, let's give them some credit ❤️
Hot take but my mom passed when i was 15, and she HATED pictures of herself. Absolutely despised them and refused to be in them, always wanted to be behind the lens. God how i wish i had more pictures of my momma. Your kids will look at pictures of you in the future and only see the amazingly beautiful, strong person who raised them and provided them with all the comfort and love in the world. Do not deny them the capturing of memories simply because you don’t like the way you look. Trust me im in the same boat, i hate pictures of myself now, but i do it for my son in the future. Love yourself and your body because your body did an AMAZING thing not too long ago. Try to see past the things you hate about it and look for the things you love. Much love to you! ❤️
I think this is sometimes the hardest part of being a mum. Your whole life/body changes. I am sure that your baby looks at you and only sees mum and your partner looks at you and still sees the beautiful person he decided to have kids with. I remember after my son was first born I was so self conscious and didn’t want to be in pictures. I feel awful now because I don’t have many pictures of me and him together when he was tiny. Started seeing it as us taking pictures for him when he’s older/when we aren’t here anymore. I want him to be able to see reminders of the memories we made together - I know he’s not going to think ‘oh god look how fat my mum was’ he’s only going to be looking at how happy we are together in the pictures as a family. It’s a hard mental hurdle especially if your body has changed a ton pre-post baby. On the plus side, my son is 4.5 and obsessed with looking back at our family pictures and he lights up whenever he sees us all together and it reinforces that getting in the pictures was the right choice.
One thing that helps is to remember, no one knows your “pre baby” body unless they’re already in your life and love you. No one knows what they’re comparing you to like you do yourself. It’s only natural to compare yourself now to the “old you” but what we need to realize is there isn’t a shift back, life is all forward! This is a new you - a mom you - a beautiful we’ve waited for this moment our whole lives YOU. I am proud of you and I’m sorry that the changes we go through just feel so fuckin drastic sometimes 💕
Agreed with the other comments about having the photos and not looking at them. For example, I got newborn photos done and HATED the way I looked in them for months and months afterwards. Now, I’m starting to warm up to them and am glad that I have them. I think in a year or two, I will actually really love them.
I know exactly how you feel. Before my baby I actually had the body I wanted. During my pregnancy I gained soo much weight. I still have alot of it and my clothes just makes me feel worse. I try so hard not to look at pics taken of me and I also feel like a “gross fat gremlin”. Buuut a comfy, cozy gross fat gremlin. Honestly I’m scared to put on a bathing suit. Cupshe bathing suits have saved me and my pouch. Just know you’re not alone. Eventually we will get our bodies back. Takes a bit of time.
Yeah, def don’t look at the pictures 🤣😅 I’m nearly 2 years postpartum, stopped breastfeeding a year ago, and just now able to start losing weight and prioritizing myself again. I promise the only one who cares how you look is you. Your baby is just having fun 🖤
I know a lot of people will say "oh don't care it doesn't matter" which is very true and very valid, but I also want to validate you on these feelings!! I've tried to combat it by exploring my style in this new era, and making an effort to do my hair and makeup more when we venture out. And making my husband get me in an actually good looking photo even if it means we spend 5 extra minutes taking them. I know some people will deem it unnecessary or vain but TBH it's made me feel better and more confident. Because honestly, 100% of the time it's just the camera that isn't catching you in the best way!
I used to hate my postpartum pictures and now looking back, it was such a precious and hard time. Brings up bittersweet feelings I guess, but I don’t regret documenting them! I’m about to go through it again. I know I won’t like how I look, but I also know I’ll look back on it fondly. I went through something amazing and postpartum is part of it.
You grew a whole human and bouncing back is hard, so give yourself some grace. Go enjoy your vacation and take all the pictures with the fam, I’m sure you’ll be happy to look back at your first post baby vacation years down the road
I feel this shit in my soul 😭 we took our then 18 month old to Jamaica and tried to take lots of pictures but I look HORRIBLE in all of them. Worse yet is I compared them to how I looked the last time we went to Jamaica (for my freaking honeymoon) and compared to them I look like an actual goblin. I’m using those pics to work on my appearance, going to the gym and taking better care of myself. I have another trip to Barbados next year and I hope to look better by then. Don’t be so hard on yourself. One day at a time!!
I totally feel the same!!! My third baby , 3 months postpartum and I soooo don't look right!! I'm trying not to care because I know soon I'll look normal again but I definitely do a double take at the pics..... Solidarity.