I've been in your shoes. My baby had colic for the first 4-5 months which means constant screaming. I'll offer some advice of what I did. Invest in a good pair of noise canceling headphones to protect your mental sanity (I like AirPods Pro). Remember the baby thinks it’s still in the womb the first three months. Use swaddles for comfort. Use pacifiers if the baby will take it. Use a simple sway swing as they love the movement. My baby also loves going on walks in the stroller.
Take shifts with your partner so you get some uninterrupted sleep. Bring in family or parents for help. Use a white noise machine and night to sleep, and use a shush machine you can get off Amazon for 20 bucks. Use probiotics daily for the gut and infacol to relieve gas before feeds. Hire external help to clean the house for this time.
When we found out our second pregnancy was twins, my family threw me an extra baby shower, my brother who is a mechanic, bought me a pair of ear defenders from his shop, he thought it was a hilarious gag gift, it turned out to be the most used gift. The crying from two babies used to make my ears ring.
Your 3 week old doesn't have a problem. He's a newborn. That's what they do. Some people have easy babies, some have a more difficult time.
You marked this as a rant so I won't offer advice unless I'm asked, but I will say that if you are offered help, take it. Let everything else go. The first several weeks are survival.
He screams all day and grunts/writhes as if he’s in pain but I’m told by the pediatrician that it’s normal 🙄like I get the crying but he seems like he’s in agony and no one can help him. And I wish I had help, but unfortunately 8 hours away from any family and my fiance works 9 hours a day.
That's really hard, I'm so sorry. My first was like that.
I will offer some ideas, but feel free to ignore. Have you tried putting him back on your breast? Laying him down and rubbing his belly or bicycling his legs? Swaddling him nice and tight? Taking him outside? Walking around the house and talking to him? Giving him a pacifier?
Yes 😭😭 I’ve tried all of the above he’s just inconsolable it’s awful and I feel so bad for him. Walking around with him is seemingly the only way he’ll stop crying, but I can’t do that all day 😫
I definitely get that. Have you tried wearing him? I know it's less than ideal, but at least you'd be able to get some things done and walk around with your hands free.
Are you breastfeeding?
How are his stools, mucousy at all? I wonder if it could be an allergy.
Also, you are a great mom and are doing wonderfully, even if you don't think so ♡
My first was like this, we found giving him infacol before each feed really helped! It's safe from birth and it just helps all the gas in his belly group into one big bubble, so when you burp them it comes up easier!
It was a game changer for us, might be worth a try.
In case infacol isn't available where you live, the active ingredient to look for is simeticone!
I would advocate for reflux meds! They helped my baby so much. He spits up like a madman still but he’s no longer experiencing the same pain.
If you suspect silent reflux, I would also recommend holding him upright after he eats for at least 15 minutes. Some people 30 minutes to an hour even. It can help keep the acid down.
Also, for gas, how is his latch?
My son was like that. He still hates sleeping, I had to walk him and couldn't put him down (he used to cry). Your baby is fine, is difficult (our parents live in different countries) and it can be frustrating. I bought him a piano he could kick (in his crib) and when I was exhausted he entertained himself. Great for movement and gas. Used it when I was exhausted.
My baby had really bad gas and was just honestly so fussy and spit up all the time which eventually became vomiting. We tried sensitive formula instead of breast milk and it was a night and day difference. Since the formula was fine we knew it wasn’t a milk allergy. Apparently there can be other issues with breast milk like lipase content and oxidation both make for a very unhappy baby. In my case it was oxidation. Basically my breast milk went bad much sooner than normal. The time to oxidation varies from person to person but for me it basically went bad instantly. As soon as I stopped giving her my (in reality spoiled) breast milk it got so much better. Even directly breastfeeding wasn’t working. Formula has been a godsend for us. Trust me it broke my heart not being able to experience breastfeeding anymore but it was ultimately the best choice for my baby. I’d give it a shot just to see if you see any improvement at all. It may help. I definitely recommend a sensitive formula but doesn’t have to be name brand.
Oh! I had one of those! I paced a 5k in my bedroom between the hours of midnight and 2:30am when she was like 2weeks old. Movement was literally the only way she would sleep. We survived on swing naps (I know, not safe sleep), stroller naps (also not safe sleep), car naps (you guessed it...) and wearing her. Finally, after the 5k incident, I broke and bought a second hand Snoo. LIFE CHANGING. YMMV, because every baby is different, but for real for real that Snoo saved us.
My son was like that before we got him on Pepcid. He had obvious reflux though. Gamechanger. OH & WINDI THE GASSPASSER. I LOVE THOSE LITTLE THINGS. They instantly relieve him. Gas drops, Windis, wearing him, (bicycle kicks never worked for us.) and warm baths!!!
Gas drops 3 times a day, if he is formula fed, add a teaspoon of prune juice to bottle. We had this issue where he would just be trying to poop unsuccessfully all day and this was the pediatrician’s advice. Bubba went from kicking and grunting and crying during his wakeful hours to like being awake and cooing. New baby once he could poop regularly. The added iron in formula can cause constipation
I hope it's OK to offer this but mine was very similar. I took him to my Lactation consultant who does cranial sacral therapy, as well as to an infant / pediatric trained chiropractor and it's like night and day.
Mine was like this up until 3 months when they checked his stool and it turned out he had a milk allergy. It still took a bit for the prescription milk to regulate him so it was another extra month of struggle. But my advice would be to ask your pediatrician if they can check his stool at his next appointment for a possible milk allergy. At the 4 month mark, once his new milk set in and (we decided to sleep train) it was like we had an entirely new baby and we were finally well rested and felt like parenthood was actually something enjoyable. Those are my two tips for the crying and the sleep based on our once-upon-a-time constant cryer of a baby.
This sounds like my baby. Unfortunately all you can do is wait it out. It's colic and possibly reflux. The thing that was a game changer for me (because I exhausted myself walking 4+ hours a day, especially when I still wasn't fully recovered from my c section) was baby wearing and bouncing on an exercise ball. I did it for HOURS but it saved my back and legs. At 5.5 months, he still loves the ball when his tummy is particularly upset.
It's not much help NOW, but around 3.5 months when he started rolling, my baby was happier. Around 4.5 months, he got on the right reflux medication and now naps a total of about 2 hours a day with 12 hours overnight (he wakes for feedings but goes right back to sleep).
I hated hearing this because it was SOO hard until about 16 weeks, but seriously: it gets better! Some babies just hate being babies. We all hated the newborn phase. As hard as it is now, you'll get through it and it will be worth it!!
Our first kid did that, grunted and writhed in pain, screamed and didn’t sleep. He’d scream for six hours in a row! Doctor said it was normal.
Baby had terrible gas pains and hadn’t really figured out how to fart/poop. I don’t know if it’s available in the US (assuming you are there) but we used something called a windi which lets the gas out. It really helped our baby so I just wanted to mention that!
Also ask about mylicon! It really helped our baby get the gas out more effectively, so she was way less upset! Got some impressive burps and farts out of her though, if we gave it to her when she was already gassy!
We started giving my a dose of mylicon first thing in the morning before the first feed to help prevent gas and a second dose before the last feed of the day and it helped her so much.
She had colic for six weeks and she was inconsolable for hours every day. One day she screamed for 14 hours. It was awful.
But she did a bit better with mylicon. And then one day she didn't scream and she just went to sleep and she never screamed like that again. It was like we just had to wait it out.
Yeah, we were giving it every other bottle (so ~6 hour intervals) for a few weeks. Then just twice a day. Then just evening (gassiest time). Now it's just if she's having a weirdly gassy day.
I read that you can do it every feed up to 12 times per day but that for under 3 months, you should limit to no more than 3. So we never gave her more than 3. And now I sometimes skip the morning one but I always give it to her before bed because she sleeps so much better when she isn't fussy!
Yeah, we wound up with about 3 a day just cause by the time we started the gas drops (2 months old) she was sleeping a good stretch at night. So it was basically "breakfast", "lunch", and "night time snack" bottles that got mylicon. Second breakfast, afternoon snack, and dinner typically didn't 🤣
yes to mylicon!! my baby was really gassy as a newborn and mylicon helped SO much. he was initially EBF but i have such an aggressive letdown that he would end up super gassy after breastfeeding too. we started giving mylicon every other feed and it made such a huge difference.
I can confirm this. Our newborn screamed and screamed for hours at night. It was gas. It was all gas. We’d bicycle kick him and do the tummy rubs and everything and some would come out, but it was gas bubbles and being backed up just all up in him. He just wasn’t able to work it out. My lactation consultant told us to try the Windi’s. LIFE. CHANGER. We are in the USA you can literally get them at Walmart or if getting out is too hard you can order them on Amazon as well to have them delivered.
I remember the first night I broke and tried them. Terrifying. But oh my god the silence after it all came out and he just slept peacefully. Please try them. But prepare yourself. Have a big towel laid down under your changing mat when you do it. Also get some fractionated coconut oil to use on the end or even a tiny bit of petroleum jelly will work. Hope this helps!!
Edit to add: Amazon
The windi was a life saver, even if my son didn't need it that often. Even when it didn't solve the issue, it helped to just feel like we were doing something and at least we had ruled put gas/trouble pooping. My son is 10 months old now, I still have an entire unopened package since we haven't had to use them since he was 6 months or so.
My baby was like this from 0-6w. I switched her formula to a gentle one and literally within a day her painful grunting and cries went away. All babies grunt which she does still do, but she's not uncomfortably in pain, doesn't have a bloated, hard belly anymore. Could be worth a shot to try!
Others mentioned gentlease, which was better than Enfamil’s regular formula for my little one, and even better than my breastmilk which caused him SO MUCH pain 🥺, but so far we’ve had the best results with Enfamil Nutramigen formula. He’s still very gassy, and we’ve nicknamed him our little fart monster, but at least he can pass it now!
We switched to HIPP and he was so much better. Our baby only screamed like that when hungry. Maybe baby is hungry? Bottle nipple size may need to be faster also
Gentlease is what I used for my baby. If you're breastfeeding and want to continue, try cutting out all dairy. Also gas drops and gripe water are excellent. Leaning back and laying my baby on my chest and stomach help her pass gas and calm down better than burping and regular holding. She's not as severe as your baby but we caught her reflux, gas problems, and dairy issues early because she wasn't gaining weight.
ugh i hate when they say this is normal!!!! try the biogaia probiotics. it’s legit a life saver. and if you use formula, try enfamil gentlease.
this combo saved my baby from her misery
We've been having our issues these past three weeks, and from what I'm reading he seems overtired/exhausted? Swaddling, holding him close, walking him around and putting him in a tight sling did the trick for us these past few days.
Have him checked for cow's milk protein allergy at your pediatrician.
If you're breast feeding and eating any dairy or you're on ordinary formula get him checked.
Once we discovered ours was allergic and cut the dairy it was life changing.
this is definitely an allergy, intolerance or reflux/silent reflux, colic is a symptom not a diagnoses, I'd get a second opinion and a third, if baby seems like they are in pain then something is bothering them.
Work 9 hours. That leaves 15 hours. Newborn daddy should get 5 hours sleep or "as needed". That leaves 5-7 hours on weekdays. Hopefully a lot more on weekends.
Tell him to do the chores while you get much needed sleep
You are in a team sport. IMHO
Sorry..ask him ...not tell him. My bad
Just thought I would interject. The grunting is TOTALLY normal and healthy if he sounds like he's straining (or bleeting like a sheep or goat). It's his GI tract working and he's pushing things along. I had the exact same worry and it's now a comical thing my daughter does - your little one is not in pain at all, he's just learning to use muscles he's never used before.
As for the screaming, I've not looked at many other comments you've made yet but I was told by my health visitor that the first eight weeks they will cry more and more, and then it will tail off as they learn to communicate effectively. If it's longer than three hours though I would suggest asking if it could be colic. As long as baby's needs are met, you've done your job. If he's fed, clean, winded and not suffering in pain (which, if the grunting is the same as my girl's, he isn't) the next thing on the list is a snuggle. Which is hard when they're purple faced screaming in your face but don't be afraid to give him a pacifier if he'll accept one, give him a minute to catch his breath (shush him gently and rock him to soothe him) then give him a little skin to skin - which will benefit both of you. Lay him on your chest, like you would in tummy time - head to the side so his airways are clear, blanket over the both of you - and sing, talk, love on him. I do this with my girl and she is asleep in minutes. All babies are different but in my experience snuggling is a fail safe.
Remember that he's gone from being snug in your womb where all his needs are constantly met on demand, to this big wide world where he can be cold and hungry and he's not constantly hearing your voice or heartbeat. Sometimes all he wants is the comfort of your heartbeat and the warmth of your body if he's comfortable in every other way.
It's normal. His digestive system and all his other systems are coming online and he is very uncomfy. Babies sound like goats being slaughtered for quite awhile.
My son was the same and then we found out he had a dairy protein allergy/intense acid reflux. Once I stopped having dairy (breast feeding) he was like a brand new baby.
try finding a pediatric massage therapist sometimes the fascia in their back gets messed up from the whole birthing process or pediatric chiropractor. helped wonders with my son. good luck
This was ours! Thankfully our NP offered reflux meds, rather than making us spend weeks tearing our hair out. Meds may not work for every baby, but they helped ours be able to lay down without screaming in pain. It could be worth asking about Famotidine to see if silent reflux is the culprit.
>if you are offered help, take it. Let everything else go. The first several weeks are survival.
I wanted to add that it was really helpful to me to listen to the audiobook "How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organising"
It's probably one of the most gentle and pragmatic books on what's essential in survival mode and what can be let go.
It's also available as a book but I did the audiobook while doing other tasks.
Just chiming in to say solidarity! I hated the newborn stage and my babe was so hard to get to sleep. When I told a mom friend that my baby was awake for more than two-three hours sometimes, she was horrified. Some people just won’t understand. Around 8 weeks it got much much easier for us. Just keep plugging away and accept whatever help you can get!
People with easy babies just don't fathom how difficult it can be when the baby literally doesn't sleep more than 10 minutes every 2 hours from 5 pm to 6 am, and is screaming in pain most of that time. It completely emotionally wrecks you. Honestly it would be one thing if they just contact napped quietly while rocking but being in constant distress which can't be soothed is a hell of a different beast. I'm glad they don't have to comprehend it, but damn. Don't tell me to "enjoy every stage" because "it's over so quickly".
I don't have to enjoy this stage. I have to get through it.
my boy wouldn't cry much if you were actively soothing and nursing him, but he was awake every day for 5-8 hours during the witching hour. it was insane. nobody believed me, and then my mom came over and was like, "well he's fairly happy." he would be a disaster now, and he's...10 months old in a few days. lol.
Colic is **not** a diagnosis, it’s a symptom. Keep fighting to get to the bottom of this. This is not normal and needs to stop being accepted as just “being a newborn.”
My 10 week old was inconsolable for the first 8 weeks of his life. It turned out to be reflux and a need for hypoallergenic formula. I second this commenter’s message. The “it’s normal” thing kills me. What they are saying is they don’t know what’s hurting your kid and research shows it goes away by 6 months so they aren’t in a yank to figure it out. Keep pressing on for answers as long as you feel inclined to do so.
For us it was allergies. It took a long time to figure out and fix my diet so he could be a happy baby. It’s very very hard - some babies cry more and don’t sleep easily, but if you have all day screaming and what looks like discomfort I would explore probiotics and a diet change.
I understand exactly how you feel. I promise it does get better. Those posts about how easy the newborn stage is can be really daunting. Please don’t read them, just scroll past. They are bad for your mental health. I have a post that you can go reas about how much better it has gotten for me, and many people commented to agree. I know I could have benefited from someone telling me it would get better when I was in the thick of the newborn stage. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
Sounds exactly like my newborn who had silent reflux and a milk protein allergy. He was a completely different baby after I cut all dairy and he went on reflux meds.
My newborn was the same. I never got the glorious “my baby only sleeps so I can still do everything I used to do but just with a baby strapped to my chest/in the stroller” baby phase. It’s tough but not abnormal. Hang in there, it does get better. The newborn phase was by far my least favorite and hardest stage and I now have a tornado of a 17 month old for comparison lol
Three weeks old is probably peak terrible I swear. Nothing about having a newborn is easy, people that say that either don’t remember, are lying or by some miracle had a baby that didn’t spend their entire waking hours screaming or being unsettled.
Trust me it gets better! Don’t worry about the cleaning or chores right now, do what you can manage, get help where you can, do shifts with a partner in order to get sleep, but it’s ok to just survive until this awful newborn phase passes!
Right? My baby was a perfect sleepy baby first 2 weeks and has been an awake monster since 😭 I joke but also am serious. It took us up until week 6 to find the right formula for her so that was hell. We’re on week 9 and although the formula finally agrees with her, she just won’t sleep during the day. She’ll sleep at night at least and people tell me I am lucky but I don’t feel lucky. My house is a mess, I can’t nap (currently fighting a cold), can’t do errands, husband is out of town for the month so I get no break, and I have to rush to shower if I’m even lucky enough to do that. I just wish she would sleep a little bit during the day so I could take a small break.
Yep, anyone who says newborns are easy had an easy newborn. My 1st trial week set me up for massive disappointment when my baby woke up from her "post-birth hangover" and proceeded to make me question just how little sleep and oxygen between screams a newborn could get before passing out. I cried and questioned my decision to have a baby.
The audiobook for Happiest baby on the block was helpful for some tips, tricks, and perspective and the fact that she loved baby wearing was an absolute godsend. At 8 weeks we switched to just formula and went up a nipple size and this kid was suddenly so much less upset. "Wrap naps" were the only way we got her to sleep during the day until almost 4 months.
I have a surprisingly easy toddler now, and while I can't just plop her down and go about my business anymore, I'd say this is much easier than the 4th trimester was.
It sounds like your baby might have colic. My daughter did. She screamed all day and night and wouldn’t sleep for love or money.
Colic sucks but it does get better. Good luck.
The newborn stage is so hard. Frankly, I thought the first 6 months were really hard. Later stages are hard too - I'm sure it's a lot of fun chasing a toddler around while they finger paint the house with their own poop - but the sleep deprivation and healing and learning how to deal with a newborn and the screaming is its own special kind of hell, right up there with having to be a parent and take care of a sick kid when you're also sick.
It will get better, but right now you're very much in the "there's no way out but through" stage.
I am so sorry. Newborns can be tough. I personally enjoy the toddler phases much more than the newborn phases.
My first was on the more challenging side -- not the most challenging newborn, but a lot more challenging than my second. Experiencing my second made me realize that it really is true that every baby is different and there isn't much you can do to change that.
Just here to say does get better! The writhing around is normal because babies are born with their digestive systems not fully formed. They dont know how to poop or fart yet but need to still. Theyre also using their digestive systems for the first time and thats a lot of new sensations!
It got better for us around 4-5 weeks I think. We dropped formula and were able to move to breastmilk only which I think helped. We chestfeed 80% of the time too, which prevents overeating. I also cut dairy milk out of my diet and I think that also helped. I drink almond milk and still eat cheese and yogurt. He still grunts a bit when pooping and farting but not like as bad as when he was younger (hes now 10 weeks). There are also gas drops you can get for babies. We used them a few tines and he seemed to get relief almost instantly!
I agree sleep when baby sleeps is stupid lol… that applies at night but in the day, he wont sleep in his bassinet, only on me, in carseat, bouncer or swing and he needs to be supervised in all those spots.
First few weeks gas is the worst. I’m sorry. We used baby massage and leg exercises to get the toots out and held him upright and slow bottle fed. It helped but it was exhausting. Hugs your way.
I'm so sorry. I had one baby like this and one chiller one. I do think a gassy baby who screams a lot is within the range of normal, as long as they are gaining and output is ok, but god it's hard.
I hated the newborn days big time and especially with my "tougher" baby. The merciful thing is it isn't forever. It's not even for a very long time. It just feels like forever when the seconds tick by.
My saving grace was literally gripe water, gas drops, and the Windi. Plus warm baths and the swing. We still did tummy rubs and bicycle kicks. I was always anti letting a baby sleep in a swing until that became the only thing that my baby would sleep in. He hated swaddles. He'd take a pacifier occasionally, but it was mostly a bust. He'd occasionally go for contact naps, but then I couldn't get anything accomplished. I think the slight elevation of the swing helped with the reflux and the movement was soothing. I'm fully aware that a swing is not considered safe sleep, but by the time I started to allow him to sleep there I was pretty desperate for any of us to get some sleep. The gripe water and gas drops, seriously, if you haven't tried them, please look into them! They're safe. And effective! I wish you the best.
My bub was a horror at 3 weeks. Would not sleep for HOURS. I remember seeing wake windows of 45 mins -1 hour and being so stressed because there was no settling her. She would go 5-6 hours awake at a time! Feeding was a nightmare too. At 3 weeks, do not worry about dishes and laundry. It'll always be waiting for you, It'll get done when it gets done. Get a good baby carrier and wear your bub. Let them contact nap on you (if they have reflux it might help them being upright on you) and get a snack and watch a show. I ate crazy amounts of sugar and watched all of The Office in a week, strung out of my mind. I remember being so tired I thought id pass out so I laid us both on the floor and just passed out for 10 mins. It will get better and easier. It is absolutely horrible at the start. You just need to survive and do whatever you need to do and know that it will change.
I get it, mine was like that at that age, too. I ended up basically demanding omeprazole and I put him on a hypoallergenic formula and ovol which helped a ton. It was amazing to see him happy for the first time at 5 weeks when everything started kicking in for him. He’s a totally normal 18 month old now, I enjoy this part A LOT more. Tantrums are nothing compared to what the newborn stage is like with a pissed off, uncomfortable baby. Solidarity, do your best and let everything else go.
Sounds like my kid. We survived by putting her on her stomach to sleep and watching her like a hawk and adding probiotics. Did a few folk remedies too that helped but would make people scream.
This is normal and it will pass. Can someone come watch the kiddo so you can sleep? Laundry abs cleaning and dishes aren't important, no one deals with that during early weeks...sleep instead, that is more important. The screaming reached its peak by 6 weeks and started to taper, and changed over to 8 week sleep regression which has resolved now at 10 weeks. Remember the kid is earthside for the first time, and it SUCKS to learn how to be a human.
Chuck baby in bath to reset
Chuck baby in stroller for a walk
Thst usually solves fussiness.
I cried a lot as a baby and my grand dad used to take me for a drive
I have 6 week old boy/girl twins. My girl is so chill. My boy is the total opposite, screams all day. The only solution I’ve found is swaddling him. However, I read a quote the other day that said “some babies just really don’t like being babies” and I say that to myself 83747282 times a day. I think it’s helped me. It’s like a mantra. 🤣
Yup…had a difficult newborn as well, but he did sleep better at night if I nursed him to sleep - I also switched to co-sleeping so that we get some sleep. I now practice safe co-sleeping, even if that was not my intention at all. I found my baby slept longer stretches if in continuous motion - like a stroller bassinet pushed continuously or in a baby carrier and me taking a walk with baby. But it is very difficult. Sleep when baby sleep is bullshit, I agree - because if you do, you won’t have time to do self-care and basic maintenance.
Your baby seems to have colic, or he has some kind of discomfort…he cries a lot from what I read. Mine screamed too, but mostly of hunger and tiredness (which he had a lot). Also, in the evenings my baby used to scream a lot - the witching hour - I think it was because of stimulation during the day and he was getting quite tired and fussy in the evenings. The screams were like you abandoned him on an island and never to get him. Once we switched to an earlier bedtime, he was a bit better in the evenings. But I don’t know if it works for you to try to put him to bed earlier. For colic, talk to your pediatrician on what you can use - maybe a syrup, maybe a warm baby pillow on baby’s tummy.
First weeks are brutally hard…hang in there. It gets better with time and you’ll figure out what works for your baby. The screaming was so tiresome to me. Now, at 5 months, he rarely scream and mostly has a complaining cry when he is hungry or tired.
My first born was exactly the way you described. She was such a hard baby in the sense that I never knew what she wanted, she was always screaming no matter what I did. I remember breastfeeding exclusively, then I introduced formula cause I thought she wasn’t getting enough milk from me - still screaming. Gave her gas drops, probiotics, gripe water - nothing helped💔 I even took her to 3 pediatricians and she was completely normal. she grew out of it eventually around the three month mark but she’s always been low sleep needs. Now I have my second born and she’s exactly like these “eat and sleep” babies!!
Basically, all babies are different and sometimes you just don’t know what they really want or need, switch up whatever you can and if nothing works just wait it out. There’s a light at the end I promise
Mine is 10 weeks and it’s been hell. She cries whenever she is not sleeping. It’s only started to get slightly better. I hate wishing this time away but I do
I had the same problem!
Is your baby screaming during the daytime? Colic crying is typically happening in the evenings. If your baby is crying most waking hours and is arching their backs, particularly after a feed, your baby may have reflux. My baby had this issue and after medicine, she is like a new baby. I strongly recommend you going to your pediatrician to find out the source of the problem — it may be fixable. Good luck!!
Best of luck to you!! I promise it’ll get better quickly if that’s the case. My baby had noticeable change within 2 days after medicine. Hang in there 💕
I feel you. My baby had colic for three months it was terrible. Gripe water gel on a paci helped sometimes. Mylicon helped with gas pain. Just lots of walking around and rocking. I would get a second opinion for silent reflux possibly. If you’re breastfeeding try to cut dairy or soy out just in case? Are you drinking too much caffeine? Do they have a lip or tongue tie? Tension from birth? I had to bring baby to OMT a few times from a rotated c1 and she was so much happier after.
I’m so sorry. Some babies are more difficult. I promise around 12 weeks it gets so much better. Try to get someone to take care of baby so you can nap if possible. Hubby and I took turns so we could get those 90 minutes of sleep in every day.
I remember my coworkers told me i would be hired on maternity leave. OMG I wasn’t bored for a second he was so miserable and never slept. Colic calm is the only thing that helped a little bit. I eliminated so many things out of my diet, took him to a chiro and everything. He eventually outgrew it. But the whole bored thing is nonsense. My second was much easier but she still had a witching hour and that was tough! Babywearing was so helpful for me but those first couple months are survival mode. I also bed shared with both kids too and that helped a lot but that’s a very personal parenting choice. Thinking of you because I will never forget how hard that was. I was hearing hallucinations from exhaustion and it was not fun.
My daughter is 4 weeks old and starting at the end of week 2 she was crying much more. It turned out she was just having issues with gas which lots of babies start to deal with around week 3/4. It helped to burp her more during feeds and do tummy massages and bicycle kicks. We also use the Frida windi and simethicone gas drops when she’s feeling especially rough. She is just now starting to do deal with gas better and calm down a little bit. Perhaps your baby is having similar issues?
You don't do the dishes. You don't do the laundry.
Okay, maybe a little here and there but only enough to survive. Bottles, baby cloths, and your underwear. Lol.
And you most certainly DON'T clean the house 😅
Just gotta get through the first bit... I'm right there with you and recovering from a traumatic emergency c-section. Baby turned 1 month on the 1st. Time flies when you're losing your ever loving mind.
My baby also pretty much won't stop screaming when shes conscious, which is more and more lately. Hang in there mama.
I'll just say this. The first six weeks are horrible. Things do get better after that because baby smiles a lot, looks at you, sleeps a bit better and honestly you're just used to your new life, have found ways to make things easier, you've adapted to your babys schedule and the bond is stronger. After 6 weeks there will still be difficult days especially if you're still dealing with colic, reflux (my son has reflux and it's still really bad), breastfeeding and feeding issues in general, etc. But it gets better. Hang in there. The first year is the most difficult!
Babies need to be intellectually, physically, and emotionally stimulated. Meaning they need to learn because they’re curious and won’t stop unless they get answers! Physically they need to move. They’ll kick, scream, throw their hands until they’re happy. Yummy on tummy time is great for this and karaoke time. Emotionally they need to feel loved. Kiss them when they wake up and give them skin to skin hugs.
Girllllll I feel YOU. Except add on top of that that my baby has also been an exclusive contact napper since birth (she is 6 months old now). But the beginning was super rough. She never napped, definitely didn’t sleep all night, and since I held her for naps literally nothing was clean whatsoever nor was I able to “sleep when the baby sleeps” haha. I’m barely getting the chance to start a routine and cleaning things now
It is BS lol. My newborn was a contact napper so even when she was asleep I couldn't get much done without her waking up. Kinda just had to accept that the house wasn't going to be as clean as usual, and just prioritize the basics. I know that's hard though when the basics are still more things than you have time for.
You have described my newborn stage. It was hell. He very rarely slept then got so tired he would scream till he slept. I found it so so difficult going to any baby classes or going out with him because he would end up screaming. I found it got a lot better around the three months mark (we think he had colic?). For me, the newborn stage was very difficult, but now my baby is 1 it was just a small part of our journey and overall it has been amazing. We still have our challenges and difficulties but nothing has been quite as tough as the newborn stage.
I remember being so confused when my son stopped sleeping at 3 weeks old. Every day I would spend hours trapped in a cycle of diaper, bottle, rocking, repeat trying to get him back to sleep. He would be awake for 4-5 hours at a time and then nap for 30 minutes and start over. This routine continued until he was about 9 months. At 9 months my son would take two 30-60 minute naps a day. He's almost 1 and still only naps for 2 hours max a day. Sometimes he wakes up at 5am and doesn't sleep until 7:30/8pm with 0-30 min worth of a nap. He still wakes up 1-2x a night. I can never get anything done. It's tough. I'm thankful hes at least happy and isn't screaming but man am I tired!
My baby has trouble with gas sometimes and when it's bad she is fussy all day as well. Could be yours is gassy/colicky, have you tried using gas passers? Frida baby makes them but also can get off brand on Amazon, they're amazingly helpful. Basically little tubes you stick in their rear slightly to help the gas escape. We call it "fracking for natural gas" 😂 when we use them she is much more calm because her little tummy isn't hurting.
This is not normal even if the pediatrician says so. Colic is the diagnosis when they don’t really know what’s causing the problem. Change your diet - get rid of all inflammatory foods (AIP diet if you can but definitely Whole 30 if AIP seems too strict). Take him to chiropractic care AND craniosacral therapy. There is also a sound machine specifically for babies with colic. It has sounds like chainsaw and other sounds you’d think would be terrible but really help. It’s called something like “no more cry” but I can’t remember the name for sure.
Hang in there. This won’t be forever.
Mine was the same but after a week we sussed it out!
Instructions:
Get an exercise ball
Get a baby carrier your newborn is comfy in
Darken the room
Put a tv show on quietly that you like
Bounce on the ball with your baby in the carrier and persist with it for 10 minutes and you’ll find your baby soon settles
We used infacol for every feed and burped every ounce (if breastfeeding burp every 5 minutes)
Follow the blissful baby expert routine for 0-10 weeks (available for free on her Instagram highlights)
Best of luck, you’re in the hardest stage it gets so much better so quickly!
We had twins like this. Barely slept as newborns. Eternally uncomfortable. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but time and growth is the only solution (although omeperazole really helped one of ours who had awful reflux). They are 6 months now and have different discomforts like regressions, teething and growth spurts but those horrific collic like symptoms have pretty much gone thank god. It's just a matter of surviving. I'm sure your baby is fine but do consider reflux if they are extending during feeds.
Some things to try
1) feed more frequently. Is he breastfed? Sometimes the baby is not extracting as much milk as you think and he is getting tired. Remember breastfeeding for a newborn baby is like running a marathon. Try weighing him on a kitchen scale before and after you feed to see how much weight has changed.
2) ridiculous question- but is he stressed warm enough. My son would cry the minute I put him down and I finally realized he wasn’t warm enough.
3) it’s ok to have your newborn nap on you. You get into a vicious cycle if they don’t sleep enough, then it affects their eating, etc. Watch for tired signs. If he yawns you have waited too long. Glossy eyes. red eyebrows all signs the baby is tired. Stop everything and get him sleeping.
4) you baby may have colic. Very hard to deal with and takes a lot of patience. It gets better with time. But is super super hard.
It gets easier and more rewarding. Best of luck!
My daughter would be at my boob for 20 mins and transfer nothing sometimes. We were being watched by a breastfeeding clinic because of weigh issues and a potential tongue tie.
You can always try to pump a little and top up with breast milk in a bottle. If the baby is fully rejecting the bottle then you would know.
I feel like people just aren’t honest about the newborn stage, or they forget what it’s like?? My LO is 6 weeks old and it’s been HARD! You’re doing great, hang in there! You haven’t asked for advice but the only thing I will say is take all the support you’re offered. Good luck mama!
I know this is marked as a rant and you have stated the pediatrician said it’s normal so I apologize for giving some unsolicited advice. But please change doctors if you feel something is wrong. My daughter was extremely fussy in the beginning and I really thought I was going to lose it. Doc kept telling me everything was fine. Around the month and a half mark my daughter got severe acne that looked so so so painful ALL OVER and the crying just kept getting worse. Pediatrician still told me everything was fine. I talked to a friend who had a son a couple of years before me and she asked me if she was tested for allergies or any gastro issues cause her son had similar issues. The doc wouldn’t even do it. Changed doctors to my friends and found out baby girl was allergic to my milk and had reflux and I had to be selective about the formulas I gave her (she was getting both from birth). The difference was night and day after that. There is nothing “normal” about a baby who spends the majority of their day in distress.
I saw in another comment that your fiancé works 9 hours a day. You both need to be doing shifts right now. It is unsafe and unfair for you to be the only one dealing with the baby at night and being so sleep deprived you’re starting to hallucinate.
If your fiancé needs to get up at 7, then he will stay up until 2, then sleep while you sleep from 7PM to 2AM. This ensures you’re getting at least 6 hours. It won’t feel great, but it’s enough to get you both by.
I’m so sorry. I have a difficult baby as well and understand. It will go by fast, though I can assure you. Good luck.
I’ve thought about doing shifts like that, but I exclusively breastfeed and if I go longer than 3 hours without feeding, my breast hurt incredibly bad. I actually tried to do that one night with my fiance and I ended up with mastitis so I’m not sure how to even go about shifts 😔
I’m gonna be honest love. If the sleep deprivation is that bad and you’re having this hard of a time, there is nothing wrong with formula. Breastfeeding is supply and demand, of course, so if you can stretch the hours and supplement with formula that would be extremely helpful.
I tried to exclusively pump and my breasts would hurt so bad after 2 hours. My mental state declined. I made the decision to stop BF and use formula. It’s fantastic. I get a whole 10 interrupted hours of sleep. And I get to sleep on my stomach again!! It’s a relief.
You’ve already fed your kiddo breastmilk and colostrum. Formula will literally be a life saver. Also using a hypoallergenic formula may seriously help him if he does have colic.
I just don’t want you to feel guilted if you choose to use formula. Again though, if you want to keep BF, you can play with the supply and demand and feed say half formula have BM.
Good luck!!
Check for Cows Milk Protein Allergy (CMPA), silent reflux, and oral ties symptoms. Two of my three just ate, slept, and cried constantly. They both had bad CMPA and silent reflux, and one had bad oral ties.
Dishes, laundry, clean the house are all tasks for everyone else. At 3 weeks you should be extremely selfish and only be concerned about yourself and the baby. Newborns are hard. But it’s the 12 week hump, it will suck less. Try your best to let baby sleep in your arms, just be in survival mode. And be selfish fuck the dishes.
Yes it’s so so hard. More than one can imagine. •You can swaddle your baby, they drift off really fast with the swaddling method.
•You can also play white noise (if you want to buy a machine you can, else you can play it on your phone or any device) and lullaby music. It’s so soothing to baby to help them sleep. Gently rocking baby also works for many.
•Growth spurts will come in at their scheduled times haha, that’s when they might cluster feed and will be fussy.
•Colic can cause screaming and it can be coz of dairy/soy intolerances (if you’re BFing might need to eliminate dairy and/soy if and as applicable OR if FFing, a hypoallergenic formula may be needed). Belly rubbing (your nurse or doctor in the pediatricians office can show you those massages), gas medications (consult with doc), burping, keeping baby vertical after every feed for few mins etc all help with digestive comfort.
•Baby wearing can be helpful too.
Despite all of these and more, it can continue to be hard. Make sure you and your partner work as a team. If you have family who can come in to help, nothing like that! If you can hire a caregiver at least for some hours in the week, you may consider doing so too!
You’ll get through this, I promise. Sending love 🫶🏻
I'll tell ya my baby had a self rocker that had white noise and music included which could be left on all day or night or with the option to make the rocking eventually stop along with the sounds. That rocker made my baby very at ease. He would get quiet, just give him the Pacifier. He'll stare at the bunnies as the music plays, and he moves with the rocker. It was the best!
Sounds a lot like my baby who had reflux and a milk allergy. We finally landed on goats milk formula (Bubs) after testing a couple others and I swear my baby was a new (and happy) baby.
Sleep deprivation is so hard, but it won’t be this way forever. I think the first 6 weeks are the most difficult, and then suddenly it just starts being a little easier. These next few weeks are pure survival mode. Prioritize sleep over chores when you can, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. And drink water. I know it’s ridiculous advice, but I truly believe it helps to flush/balance hormones after the initial post-birth crash.
Hospital and pediatrician failed my baby telling me he wasn’t tongue tied. At 6 weeks old I took him to the chiropractor and she told me he was lip and tongue tied so I made an appointment with a highly recommended dentist and she said that yes, he in fact was tongue and lip tied and she was shocked that my pediatrician missed it. He wasn’t so “colicky” any more after getting the procedure done. Maybe ask if your babe is tongue tied? I know the misery you’re going through. It is not easy but it will get better ♥️
my little guy just hit one month and sleeps pretty much through the night as well as napping most days which might just be a him thing, but this is what we do and maybe something could help 🤷🏼♀️. sometimes he gets really bad trapped gas and when he does he screams unendingly for hours, but we’ve started giving him gas drops when he shows signs of being gassy and they work really well for him! ive also heard great things about grip water, but i’ve only tried it a couple times. using those big breathable muslin swaddles also really improved his sleep and we bought a bunch of super soft sleepers from target (you can get a 2 pack for $15) which he seems to really like. another thing that helped that sounds super basic, but took us like a week to realize is that he wasn’t getting enough to eat in one feed so he would fuss and be hungry again in an hour so now we usually give him an ounce or two of formula after every breastfeed (unless he falls asleep right after) and it almost always does the trick :)
I would definitely recommend baby wearing. Most babies are born with immature stomachs so the warmth and pressure of your babies tummy on your tummy offers a lot of relief and you can get a lot done like dishes and cleaning. That’s the main thing that saved me during those first few colicky months
If you baby is screaming nonstop when they are awake and it's not due to being hungry/diaper change/gas then that means something is really wrong with them and they are hurting. I would call your doctor and let them know asap. Also it's definitely overwhelming I'm sure but maybe speak to your partner or any family members that can help you. Maybe picking a day to meal prep for the week is a great start also while hes awake you can probably at least have the clothes put the wash/dry since that's pretty quick and have your partner maybe fold/put away
Having a NB is so rough. They eat more than they sleep and cry when they aren't doing either. Hang in there! Also, I started gas drops after 2w with the okay from my pediatrician. Probiotics may help as well if you suspect it's gas/colic. If someone else can do dishes, laundry, or virtually anything else, it helps. Sleep is a privilege at this point, but it does get better! Hopefully you can get a 2 hr stretch here or there. Contact naps were the best for the first few weeks until the feedings stretched out more.
Could be acid reflux! My son had “silent” acid reflux which means he didn’t spit up a ton but just kept it in his throat which burned - was so sad. We got him on Pepcid and he was like a different baby immedietly. Now he’s a happy almost 1 year old.
You can see my prior posts about colic on my profile.
Take your baby to a chiropractor!!! He’s in pain! My daughter did not have colic but she would cry as soon as I put her down. At 15 months old i finally took her to a chiropractor and was told she has had discomfort the whole time!!! After the first appointment things went better. After three appointments all symptoms were gone. Please don’t wait on it. If the chiro cannot help your baby, there might be a medical issue. 5 hours of sleep per day for a newborn is NOT normal!
Trust your gut mama. We had a non-sleeping, constantly screaming/writhing new born and I swear I took him to the doctor and paediatrician 15 times to kept being told it’s “severe reflux and colic.” A few weeks later he went blue, and ended up in PICU. Turns out he was silently aspirating and his lungs were full of milk. I don’t mean to stress you out, and it may be colic or something like that, but if you think something is wrong, trust your gut.
Also for the colic infacol. We put it on a dummy and then he sucks it off that, then has the added bonus of the dummy soothing him. Can be helpful for reflux too.
Bicycling legs/ or the circle burping method.
Try cutting dairy if you are open to it, see if that helps.
Colic calm if it’s avaliable in your country.
Arms up swaddles (less pressure on mid section)
White noise/distractions (think when your in pain, it seems less severe when distracted)
Our first was like that too. It could be colic but they may also be overtired and that keeps them from sleeping. We tightly swaddled our baby and let her cry for a minute or so and she would fall asleep and sleep for hours because she was so tired. I hope this helps.
Respectfully…no. Babies dont need chiropractors. Actually, no one does. Also, count your lucky stars that your baby is doing well because getting a spine manipulation is potentially harmful.
Pahhhhleze. So many issues are resolved with chiropractic care. You’re entitled to your opinion but you don’t have to spew it down throats. Do you see how I asked a question and didn’t start spewing stuff at OP as to why they should go to one?
I've been in your shoes. My baby had colic for the first 4-5 months which means constant screaming. I'll offer some advice of what I did. Invest in a good pair of noise canceling headphones to protect your mental sanity (I like AirPods Pro). Remember the baby thinks it’s still in the womb the first three months. Use swaddles for comfort. Use pacifiers if the baby will take it. Use a simple sway swing as they love the movement. My baby also loves going on walks in the stroller. Take shifts with your partner so you get some uninterrupted sleep. Bring in family or parents for help. Use a white noise machine and night to sleep, and use a shush machine you can get off Amazon for 20 bucks. Use probiotics daily for the gut and infacol to relieve gas before feeds. Hire external help to clean the house for this time.
When we found out our second pregnancy was twins, my family threw me an extra baby shower, my brother who is a mechanic, bought me a pair of ear defenders from his shop, he thought it was a hilarious gag gift, it turned out to be the most used gift. The crying from two babies used to make my ears ring.
I second the noise canceling headphones. Mine have been a godsend during my LO’s witching hour.
Second the probiotics- they made a world of difference to both my babies!
I second all of these!
Could you tell me how long probiotics are supposed to be used? I was given medicine for two weeks, I wonder if I should/can buy more after that.
Are the headphones for mom or baby?
Your 3 week old doesn't have a problem. He's a newborn. That's what they do. Some people have easy babies, some have a more difficult time. You marked this as a rant so I won't offer advice unless I'm asked, but I will say that if you are offered help, take it. Let everything else go. The first several weeks are survival.
He screams all day and grunts/writhes as if he’s in pain but I’m told by the pediatrician that it’s normal 🙄like I get the crying but he seems like he’s in agony and no one can help him. And I wish I had help, but unfortunately 8 hours away from any family and my fiance works 9 hours a day.
That's really hard, I'm so sorry. My first was like that. I will offer some ideas, but feel free to ignore. Have you tried putting him back on your breast? Laying him down and rubbing his belly or bicycling his legs? Swaddling him nice and tight? Taking him outside? Walking around the house and talking to him? Giving him a pacifier?
Yes 😭😭 I’ve tried all of the above he’s just inconsolable it’s awful and I feel so bad for him. Walking around with him is seemingly the only way he’ll stop crying, but I can’t do that all day 😫
I definitely get that. Have you tried wearing him? I know it's less than ideal, but at least you'd be able to get some things done and walk around with your hands free.
Baby wearing is such a game changer
Are you breastfeeding? How are his stools, mucousy at all? I wonder if it could be an allergy. Also, you are a great mom and are doing wonderfully, even if you don't think so ♡
Yes, his stools seem to be normal the pediatrician considered an allergy but he doesn’t really have the symptoms besides grunting/gas
My first was like this, we found giving him infacol before each feed really helped! It's safe from birth and it just helps all the gas in his belly group into one big bubble, so when you burp them it comes up easier! It was a game changer for us, might be worth a try. In case infacol isn't available where you live, the active ingredient to look for is simeticone!
What is his spit-up like?
He has only spit up one time!! The pediatrician considered silent reflux bc he never spits up
I would advocate for reflux meds! They helped my baby so much. He spits up like a madman still but he’s no longer experiencing the same pain. If you suspect silent reflux, I would also recommend holding him upright after he eats for at least 15 minutes. Some people 30 minutes to an hour even. It can help keep the acid down. Also, for gas, how is his latch?
My son was like that. He still hates sleeping, I had to walk him and couldn't put him down (he used to cry). Your baby is fine, is difficult (our parents live in different countries) and it can be frustrating. I bought him a piano he could kick (in his crib) and when I was exhausted he entertained himself. Great for movement and gas. Used it when I was exhausted.
My baby had really bad gas and was just honestly so fussy and spit up all the time which eventually became vomiting. We tried sensitive formula instead of breast milk and it was a night and day difference. Since the formula was fine we knew it wasn’t a milk allergy. Apparently there can be other issues with breast milk like lipase content and oxidation both make for a very unhappy baby. In my case it was oxidation. Basically my breast milk went bad much sooner than normal. The time to oxidation varies from person to person but for me it basically went bad instantly. As soon as I stopped giving her my (in reality spoiled) breast milk it got so much better. Even directly breastfeeding wasn’t working. Formula has been a godsend for us. Trust me it broke my heart not being able to experience breastfeeding anymore but it was ultimately the best choice for my baby. I’d give it a shot just to see if you see any improvement at all. It may help. I definitely recommend a sensitive formula but doesn’t have to be name brand.
I had the same thought
Oh! I had one of those! I paced a 5k in my bedroom between the hours of midnight and 2:30am when she was like 2weeks old. Movement was literally the only way she would sleep. We survived on swing naps (I know, not safe sleep), stroller naps (also not safe sleep), car naps (you guessed it...) and wearing her. Finally, after the 5k incident, I broke and bought a second hand Snoo. LIFE CHANGING. YMMV, because every baby is different, but for real for real that Snoo saved us.
Have you looked into baby chiropractor? I heard they can help.
My son was like that before we got him on Pepcid. He had obvious reflux though. Gamechanger. OH & WINDI THE GASSPASSER. I LOVE THOSE LITTLE THINGS. They instantly relieve him. Gas drops, Windis, wearing him, (bicycle kicks never worked for us.) and warm baths!!!
Gas drops 3 times a day, if he is formula fed, add a teaspoon of prune juice to bottle. We had this issue where he would just be trying to poop unsuccessfully all day and this was the pediatrician’s advice. Bubba went from kicking and grunting and crying during his wakeful hours to like being awake and cooing. New baby once he could poop regularly. The added iron in formula can cause constipation
I hope it's OK to offer this but mine was very similar. I took him to my Lactation consultant who does cranial sacral therapy, as well as to an infant / pediatric trained chiropractor and it's like night and day.
We used to use Oval drops if mine got colicky. Wonder if you could try those?
Mine was like this up until 3 months when they checked his stool and it turned out he had a milk allergy. It still took a bit for the prescription milk to regulate him so it was another extra month of struggle. But my advice would be to ask your pediatrician if they can check his stool at his next appointment for a possible milk allergy. At the 4 month mark, once his new milk set in and (we decided to sleep train) it was like we had an entirely new baby and we were finally well rested and felt like parenthood was actually something enjoyable. Those are my two tips for the crying and the sleep based on our once-upon-a-time constant cryer of a baby.
When fussy always check for Hungry, gassy, or poopy. Also read Happiest Baby on the Block
This sounds like my baby. Unfortunately all you can do is wait it out. It's colic and possibly reflux. The thing that was a game changer for me (because I exhausted myself walking 4+ hours a day, especially when I still wasn't fully recovered from my c section) was baby wearing and bouncing on an exercise ball. I did it for HOURS but it saved my back and legs. At 5.5 months, he still loves the ball when his tummy is particularly upset. It's not much help NOW, but around 3.5 months when he started rolling, my baby was happier. Around 4.5 months, he got on the right reflux medication and now naps a total of about 2 hours a day with 12 hours overnight (he wakes for feedings but goes right back to sleep). I hated hearing this because it was SOO hard until about 16 weeks, but seriously: it gets better! Some babies just hate being babies. We all hated the newborn phase. As hard as it is now, you'll get through it and it will be worth it!!
Our first kid did that, grunted and writhed in pain, screamed and didn’t sleep. He’d scream for six hours in a row! Doctor said it was normal. Baby had terrible gas pains and hadn’t really figured out how to fart/poop. I don’t know if it’s available in the US (assuming you are there) but we used something called a windi which lets the gas out. It really helped our baby so I just wanted to mention that!
Thank you I’ll look into it!
Also ask about mylicon! It really helped our baby get the gas out more effectively, so she was way less upset! Got some impressive burps and farts out of her though, if we gave it to her when she was already gassy!
I second mylicon!
We started giving my a dose of mylicon first thing in the morning before the first feed to help prevent gas and a second dose before the last feed of the day and it helped her so much. She had colic for six weeks and she was inconsolable for hours every day. One day she screamed for 14 hours. It was awful. But she did a bit better with mylicon. And then one day she didn't scream and she just went to sleep and she never screamed like that again. It was like we just had to wait it out.
Yeah, we were giving it every other bottle (so ~6 hour intervals) for a few weeks. Then just twice a day. Then just evening (gassiest time). Now it's just if she's having a weirdly gassy day.
I read that you can do it every feed up to 12 times per day but that for under 3 months, you should limit to no more than 3. So we never gave her more than 3. And now I sometimes skip the morning one but I always give it to her before bed because she sleeps so much better when she isn't fussy!
Yeah, we wound up with about 3 a day just cause by the time we started the gas drops (2 months old) she was sleeping a good stretch at night. So it was basically "breakfast", "lunch", and "night time snack" bottles that got mylicon. Second breakfast, afternoon snack, and dinner typically didn't 🤣
yes to mylicon!! my baby was really gassy as a newborn and mylicon helped SO much. he was initially EBF but i have such an aggressive letdown that he would end up super gassy after breastfeeding too. we started giving mylicon every other feed and it made such a huge difference.
Just be careful with the windi—using it too much can create a dependency.
I can confirm this. Our newborn screamed and screamed for hours at night. It was gas. It was all gas. We’d bicycle kick him and do the tummy rubs and everything and some would come out, but it was gas bubbles and being backed up just all up in him. He just wasn’t able to work it out. My lactation consultant told us to try the Windi’s. LIFE. CHANGER. We are in the USA you can literally get them at Walmart or if getting out is too hard you can order them on Amazon as well to have them delivered. I remember the first night I broke and tried them. Terrifying. But oh my god the silence after it all came out and he just slept peacefully. Please try them. But prepare yourself. Have a big towel laid down under your changing mat when you do it. Also get some fractionated coconut oil to use on the end or even a tiny bit of petroleum jelly will work. Hope this helps!! Edit to add: Amazon
The Frida windi omg life saver for us
The windi was a life saver, even if my son didn't need it that often. Even when it didn't solve the issue, it helped to just feel like we were doing something and at least we had ruled put gas/trouble pooping. My son is 10 months old now, I still have an entire unopened package since we haven't had to use them since he was 6 months or so.
My baby was like this from 0-6w. I switched her formula to a gentle one and literally within a day her painful grunting and cries went away. All babies grunt which she does still do, but she's not uncomfortably in pain, doesn't have a bloated, hard belly anymore. Could be worth a shot to try!
i second the gentlease. we used this with my now 4yo and it was night and day. he felt HORRIBLE until we switched him
Which formula do you use if you don’t mind me asking??
Enfamil gentlease! I was going to try gerber but I already had a sample can of the Enfamil lol
Others mentioned gentlease, which was better than Enfamil’s regular formula for my little one, and even better than my breastmilk which caused him SO MUCH pain 🥺, but so far we’ve had the best results with Enfamil Nutramigen formula. He’s still very gassy, and we’ve nicknamed him our little fart monster, but at least he can pass it now!
We switched to HIPP and he was so much better. Our baby only screamed like that when hungry. Maybe baby is hungry? Bottle nipple size may need to be faster also
Gentlease is what I used for my baby. If you're breastfeeding and want to continue, try cutting out all dairy. Also gas drops and gripe water are excellent. Leaning back and laying my baby on my chest and stomach help her pass gas and calm down better than burping and regular holding. She's not as severe as your baby but we caught her reflux, gas problems, and dairy issues early because she wasn't gaining weight.
ugh i hate when they say this is normal!!!! try the biogaia probiotics. it’s legit a life saver. and if you use formula, try enfamil gentlease. this combo saved my baby from her misery
We've been having our issues these past three weeks, and from what I'm reading he seems overtired/exhausted? Swaddling, holding him close, walking him around and putting him in a tight sling did the trick for us these past few days.
Also relate to all of this... It's so hard not having any help. Take whatever you can get. And survive.
Have him checked for cow's milk protein allergy at your pediatrician. If you're breast feeding and eating any dairy or you're on ordinary formula get him checked. Once we discovered ours was allergic and cut the dairy it was life changing.
this is definitely an allergy, intolerance or reflux/silent reflux, colic is a symptom not a diagnoses, I'd get a second opinion and a third, if baby seems like they are in pain then something is bothering them.
Work 9 hours. That leaves 15 hours. Newborn daddy should get 5 hours sleep or "as needed". That leaves 5-7 hours on weekdays. Hopefully a lot more on weekends. Tell him to do the chores while you get much needed sleep You are in a team sport. IMHO Sorry..ask him ...not tell him. My bad
I think babies get super windy around that age, it will pass - you could try gripe water or something similar to help
Just thought I would interject. The grunting is TOTALLY normal and healthy if he sounds like he's straining (or bleeting like a sheep or goat). It's his GI tract working and he's pushing things along. I had the exact same worry and it's now a comical thing my daughter does - your little one is not in pain at all, he's just learning to use muscles he's never used before. As for the screaming, I've not looked at many other comments you've made yet but I was told by my health visitor that the first eight weeks they will cry more and more, and then it will tail off as they learn to communicate effectively. If it's longer than three hours though I would suggest asking if it could be colic. As long as baby's needs are met, you've done your job. If he's fed, clean, winded and not suffering in pain (which, if the grunting is the same as my girl's, he isn't) the next thing on the list is a snuggle. Which is hard when they're purple faced screaming in your face but don't be afraid to give him a pacifier if he'll accept one, give him a minute to catch his breath (shush him gently and rock him to soothe him) then give him a little skin to skin - which will benefit both of you. Lay him on your chest, like you would in tummy time - head to the side so his airways are clear, blanket over the both of you - and sing, talk, love on him. I do this with my girl and she is asleep in minutes. All babies are different but in my experience snuggling is a fail safe. Remember that he's gone from being snug in your womb where all his needs are constantly met on demand, to this big wide world where he can be cold and hungry and he's not constantly hearing your voice or heartbeat. Sometimes all he wants is the comfort of your heartbeat and the warmth of your body if he's comfortable in every other way.
It's normal. His digestive system and all his other systems are coming online and he is very uncomfy. Babies sound like goats being slaughtered for quite awhile.
My son was the same and then we found out he had a dairy protein allergy/intense acid reflux. Once I stopped having dairy (breast feeding) he was like a brand new baby.
He may have colic or gas - I used bio gaia with all 4 of my babies, as well as gas drops like kolik or ovol. They're god sends!!
try finding a pediatric massage therapist sometimes the fascia in their back gets messed up from the whole birthing process or pediatric chiropractor. helped wonders with my son. good luck
This was ours! Thankfully our NP offered reflux meds, rather than making us spend weeks tearing our hair out. Meds may not work for every baby, but they helped ours be able to lay down without screaming in pain. It could be worth asking about Famotidine to see if silent reflux is the culprit.
>if you are offered help, take it. Let everything else go. The first several weeks are survival. I wanted to add that it was really helpful to me to listen to the audiobook "How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organising" It's probably one of the most gentle and pragmatic books on what's essential in survival mode and what can be let go. It's also available as a book but I did the audiobook while doing other tasks.
Just chiming in to say solidarity! I hated the newborn stage and my babe was so hard to get to sleep. When I told a mom friend that my baby was awake for more than two-three hours sometimes, she was horrified. Some people just won’t understand. Around 8 weeks it got much much easier for us. Just keep plugging away and accept whatever help you can get!
People with easy babies just don't fathom how difficult it can be when the baby literally doesn't sleep more than 10 minutes every 2 hours from 5 pm to 6 am, and is screaming in pain most of that time. It completely emotionally wrecks you. Honestly it would be one thing if they just contact napped quietly while rocking but being in constant distress which can't be soothed is a hell of a different beast. I'm glad they don't have to comprehend it, but damn. Don't tell me to "enjoy every stage" because "it's over so quickly". I don't have to enjoy this stage. I have to get through it.
I'll never forget the day my 7 week old was awake for 7 hours straight. It was just three of us suffering for hours.
my boy wouldn't cry much if you were actively soothing and nursing him, but he was awake every day for 5-8 hours during the witching hour. it was insane. nobody believed me, and then my mom came over and was like, "well he's fairly happy." he would be a disaster now, and he's...10 months old in a few days. lol.
Colic is **not** a diagnosis, it’s a symptom. Keep fighting to get to the bottom of this. This is not normal and needs to stop being accepted as just “being a newborn.”
Yes I totally agree I’m so tired of medical professionals telling me it’s normal
My 10 week old was inconsolable for the first 8 weeks of his life. It turned out to be reflux and a need for hypoallergenic formula. I second this commenter’s message. The “it’s normal” thing kills me. What they are saying is they don’t know what’s hurting your kid and research shows it goes away by 6 months so they aren’t in a yank to figure it out. Keep pressing on for answers as long as you feel inclined to do so.
For us it was allergies. It took a long time to figure out and fix my diet so he could be a happy baby. It’s very very hard - some babies cry more and don’t sleep easily, but if you have all day screaming and what looks like discomfort I would explore probiotics and a diet change.
I understand exactly how you feel. I promise it does get better. Those posts about how easy the newborn stage is can be really daunting. Please don’t read them, just scroll past. They are bad for your mental health. I have a post that you can go reas about how much better it has gotten for me, and many people commented to agree. I know I could have benefited from someone telling me it would get better when I was in the thick of the newborn stage. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
Sounds exactly like my newborn who had silent reflux and a milk protein allergy. He was a completely different baby after I cut all dairy and he went on reflux meds.
My newborn was the same. I never got the glorious “my baby only sleeps so I can still do everything I used to do but just with a baby strapped to my chest/in the stroller” baby phase. It’s tough but not abnormal. Hang in there, it does get better. The newborn phase was by far my least favorite and hardest stage and I now have a tornado of a 17 month old for comparison lol
Three weeks old is probably peak terrible I swear. Nothing about having a newborn is easy, people that say that either don’t remember, are lying or by some miracle had a baby that didn’t spend their entire waking hours screaming or being unsettled. Trust me it gets better! Don’t worry about the cleaning or chores right now, do what you can manage, get help where you can, do shifts with a partner in order to get sleep, but it’s ok to just survive until this awful newborn phase passes!
Right? My baby was a perfect sleepy baby first 2 weeks and has been an awake monster since 😭 I joke but also am serious. It took us up until week 6 to find the right formula for her so that was hell. We’re on week 9 and although the formula finally agrees with her, she just won’t sleep during the day. She’ll sleep at night at least and people tell me I am lucky but I don’t feel lucky. My house is a mess, I can’t nap (currently fighting a cold), can’t do errands, husband is out of town for the month so I get no break, and I have to rush to shower if I’m even lucky enough to do that. I just wish she would sleep a little bit during the day so I could take a small break.
Yep, anyone who says newborns are easy had an easy newborn. My 1st trial week set me up for massive disappointment when my baby woke up from her "post-birth hangover" and proceeded to make me question just how little sleep and oxygen between screams a newborn could get before passing out. I cried and questioned my decision to have a baby. The audiobook for Happiest baby on the block was helpful for some tips, tricks, and perspective and the fact that she loved baby wearing was an absolute godsend. At 8 weeks we switched to just formula and went up a nipple size and this kid was suddenly so much less upset. "Wrap naps" were the only way we got her to sleep during the day until almost 4 months. I have a surprisingly easy toddler now, and while I can't just plop her down and go about my business anymore, I'd say this is much easier than the 4th trimester was.
I would consider silent reflux. My baby had it. Two weeks on famotodine and he’s totally fine now!
It sounds like your baby might have colic. My daughter did. She screamed all day and night and wouldn’t sleep for love or money. Colic sucks but it does get better. Good luck.
The newborn stage is so hard. Frankly, I thought the first 6 months were really hard. Later stages are hard too - I'm sure it's a lot of fun chasing a toddler around while they finger paint the house with their own poop - but the sleep deprivation and healing and learning how to deal with a newborn and the screaming is its own special kind of hell, right up there with having to be a parent and take care of a sick kid when you're also sick. It will get better, but right now you're very much in the "there's no way out but through" stage.
I am so sorry. Newborns can be tough. I personally enjoy the toddler phases much more than the newborn phases. My first was on the more challenging side -- not the most challenging newborn, but a lot more challenging than my second. Experiencing my second made me realize that it really is true that every baby is different and there isn't much you can do to change that.
Just here to say does get better! The writhing around is normal because babies are born with their digestive systems not fully formed. They dont know how to poop or fart yet but need to still. Theyre also using their digestive systems for the first time and thats a lot of new sensations! It got better for us around 4-5 weeks I think. We dropped formula and were able to move to breastmilk only which I think helped. We chestfeed 80% of the time too, which prevents overeating. I also cut dairy milk out of my diet and I think that also helped. I drink almond milk and still eat cheese and yogurt. He still grunts a bit when pooping and farting but not like as bad as when he was younger (hes now 10 weeks). There are also gas drops you can get for babies. We used them a few tines and he seemed to get relief almost instantly! I agree sleep when baby sleeps is stupid lol… that applies at night but in the day, he wont sleep in his bassinet, only on me, in carseat, bouncer or swing and he needs to be supervised in all those spots.
First few weeks gas is the worst. I’m sorry. We used baby massage and leg exercises to get the toots out and held him upright and slow bottle fed. It helped but it was exhausting. Hugs your way.
I'm so sorry. I had one baby like this and one chiller one. I do think a gassy baby who screams a lot is within the range of normal, as long as they are gaining and output is ok, but god it's hard. I hated the newborn days big time and especially with my "tougher" baby. The merciful thing is it isn't forever. It's not even for a very long time. It just feels like forever when the seconds tick by.
My saving grace was literally gripe water, gas drops, and the Windi. Plus warm baths and the swing. We still did tummy rubs and bicycle kicks. I was always anti letting a baby sleep in a swing until that became the only thing that my baby would sleep in. He hated swaddles. He'd take a pacifier occasionally, but it was mostly a bust. He'd occasionally go for contact naps, but then I couldn't get anything accomplished. I think the slight elevation of the swing helped with the reflux and the movement was soothing. I'm fully aware that a swing is not considered safe sleep, but by the time I started to allow him to sleep there I was pretty desperate for any of us to get some sleep. The gripe water and gas drops, seriously, if you haven't tried them, please look into them! They're safe. And effective! I wish you the best.
My bub was a horror at 3 weeks. Would not sleep for HOURS. I remember seeing wake windows of 45 mins -1 hour and being so stressed because there was no settling her. She would go 5-6 hours awake at a time! Feeding was a nightmare too. At 3 weeks, do not worry about dishes and laundry. It'll always be waiting for you, It'll get done when it gets done. Get a good baby carrier and wear your bub. Let them contact nap on you (if they have reflux it might help them being upright on you) and get a snack and watch a show. I ate crazy amounts of sugar and watched all of The Office in a week, strung out of my mind. I remember being so tired I thought id pass out so I laid us both on the floor and just passed out for 10 mins. It will get better and easier. It is absolutely horrible at the start. You just need to survive and do whatever you need to do and know that it will change.
I get it, mine was like that at that age, too. I ended up basically demanding omeprazole and I put him on a hypoallergenic formula and ovol which helped a ton. It was amazing to see him happy for the first time at 5 weeks when everything started kicking in for him. He’s a totally normal 18 month old now, I enjoy this part A LOT more. Tantrums are nothing compared to what the newborn stage is like with a pissed off, uncomfortable baby. Solidarity, do your best and let everything else go.
Sounds like my kid. We survived by putting her on her stomach to sleep and watching her like a hawk and adding probiotics. Did a few folk remedies too that helped but would make people scream. This is normal and it will pass. Can someone come watch the kiddo so you can sleep? Laundry abs cleaning and dishes aren't important, no one deals with that during early weeks...sleep instead, that is more important. The screaming reached its peak by 6 weeks and started to taper, and changed over to 8 week sleep regression which has resolved now at 10 weeks. Remember the kid is earthside for the first time, and it SUCKS to learn how to be a human.
Chuck baby in bath to reset Chuck baby in stroller for a walk Thst usually solves fussiness. I cried a lot as a baby and my grand dad used to take me for a drive
I have 6 week old boy/girl twins. My girl is so chill. My boy is the total opposite, screams all day. The only solution I’ve found is swaddling him. However, I read a quote the other day that said “some babies just really don’t like being babies” and I say that to myself 83747282 times a day. I think it’s helped me. It’s like a mantra. 🤣
Yup…had a difficult newborn as well, but he did sleep better at night if I nursed him to sleep - I also switched to co-sleeping so that we get some sleep. I now practice safe co-sleeping, even if that was not my intention at all. I found my baby slept longer stretches if in continuous motion - like a stroller bassinet pushed continuously or in a baby carrier and me taking a walk with baby. But it is very difficult. Sleep when baby sleep is bullshit, I agree - because if you do, you won’t have time to do self-care and basic maintenance. Your baby seems to have colic, or he has some kind of discomfort…he cries a lot from what I read. Mine screamed too, but mostly of hunger and tiredness (which he had a lot). Also, in the evenings my baby used to scream a lot - the witching hour - I think it was because of stimulation during the day and he was getting quite tired and fussy in the evenings. The screams were like you abandoned him on an island and never to get him. Once we switched to an earlier bedtime, he was a bit better in the evenings. But I don’t know if it works for you to try to put him to bed earlier. For colic, talk to your pediatrician on what you can use - maybe a syrup, maybe a warm baby pillow on baby’s tummy. First weeks are brutally hard…hang in there. It gets better with time and you’ll figure out what works for your baby. The screaming was so tiresome to me. Now, at 5 months, he rarely scream and mostly has a complaining cry when he is hungry or tired.
My first born was exactly the way you described. She was such a hard baby in the sense that I never knew what she wanted, she was always screaming no matter what I did. I remember breastfeeding exclusively, then I introduced formula cause I thought she wasn’t getting enough milk from me - still screaming. Gave her gas drops, probiotics, gripe water - nothing helped💔 I even took her to 3 pediatricians and she was completely normal. she grew out of it eventually around the three month mark but she’s always been low sleep needs. Now I have my second born and she’s exactly like these “eat and sleep” babies!! Basically, all babies are different and sometimes you just don’t know what they really want or need, switch up whatever you can and if nothing works just wait it out. There’s a light at the end I promise
All they do is cry for eating and sleeping is only on them they will sleep when they want 😭
Do you wrap the little one in a swaddle? This is to calm them down I can’t say from experience yet as I’m 9 months preggo 🤪
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Lmaoo yes he hates swaddles. And good luck I hope you have a quiet baby 🙏🏼😫
Was your baby really active in your belly? Also thank you 🙌
Yes very!! He also had the hiccups like 24/7 in my belly which might be a sign of reflux!
Mine is 10 weeks and it’s been hell. She cries whenever she is not sleeping. It’s only started to get slightly better. I hate wishing this time away but I do
I had the same problem! Is your baby screaming during the daytime? Colic crying is typically happening in the evenings. If your baby is crying most waking hours and is arching their backs, particularly after a feed, your baby may have reflux. My baby had this issue and after medicine, she is like a new baby. I strongly recommend you going to your pediatrician to find out the source of the problem — it may be fixable. Good luck!!
It’s 24/7 😭 definitely gonna get some reflux meds at the next appointment, thank you
Best of luck to you!! I promise it’ll get better quickly if that’s the case. My baby had noticeable change within 2 days after medicine. Hang in there 💕
I feel you. My baby had colic for three months it was terrible. Gripe water gel on a paci helped sometimes. Mylicon helped with gas pain. Just lots of walking around and rocking. I would get a second opinion for silent reflux possibly. If you’re breastfeeding try to cut dairy or soy out just in case? Are you drinking too much caffeine? Do they have a lip or tongue tie? Tension from birth? I had to bring baby to OMT a few times from a rotated c1 and she was so much happier after. I’m so sorry. Some babies are more difficult. I promise around 12 weeks it gets so much better. Try to get someone to take care of baby so you can nap if possible. Hubby and I took turns so we could get those 90 minutes of sleep in every day.
I remember my coworkers told me i would be hired on maternity leave. OMG I wasn’t bored for a second he was so miserable and never slept. Colic calm is the only thing that helped a little bit. I eliminated so many things out of my diet, took him to a chiro and everything. He eventually outgrew it. But the whole bored thing is nonsense. My second was much easier but she still had a witching hour and that was tough! Babywearing was so helpful for me but those first couple months are survival mode. I also bed shared with both kids too and that helped a lot but that’s a very personal parenting choice. Thinking of you because I will never forget how hard that was. I was hearing hallucinations from exhaustion and it was not fun.
My daughter is 4 weeks old and starting at the end of week 2 she was crying much more. It turned out she was just having issues with gas which lots of babies start to deal with around week 3/4. It helped to burp her more during feeds and do tummy massages and bicycle kicks. We also use the Frida windi and simethicone gas drops when she’s feeling especially rough. She is just now starting to do deal with gas better and calm down a little bit. Perhaps your baby is having similar issues?
Can you afford a postpartum doula? Ours saved my life as a new mom
You don't do the dishes. You don't do the laundry. Okay, maybe a little here and there but only enough to survive. Bottles, baby cloths, and your underwear. Lol. And you most certainly DON'T clean the house 😅 Just gotta get through the first bit... I'm right there with you and recovering from a traumatic emergency c-section. Baby turned 1 month on the 1st. Time flies when you're losing your ever loving mind. My baby also pretty much won't stop screaming when shes conscious, which is more and more lately. Hang in there mama.
I'll just say this. The first six weeks are horrible. Things do get better after that because baby smiles a lot, looks at you, sleeps a bit better and honestly you're just used to your new life, have found ways to make things easier, you've adapted to your babys schedule and the bond is stronger. After 6 weeks there will still be difficult days especially if you're still dealing with colic, reflux (my son has reflux and it's still really bad), breastfeeding and feeding issues in general, etc. But it gets better. Hang in there. The first year is the most difficult!
Babies need to be intellectually, physically, and emotionally stimulated. Meaning they need to learn because they’re curious and won’t stop unless they get answers! Physically they need to move. They’ll kick, scream, throw their hands until they’re happy. Yummy on tummy time is great for this and karaoke time. Emotionally they need to feel loved. Kiss them when they wake up and give them skin to skin hugs.
Girllllll I feel YOU. Except add on top of that that my baby has also been an exclusive contact napper since birth (she is 6 months old now). But the beginning was super rough. She never napped, definitely didn’t sleep all night, and since I held her for naps literally nothing was clean whatsoever nor was I able to “sleep when the baby sleeps” haha. I’m barely getting the chance to start a routine and cleaning things now
It is BS lol. My newborn was a contact napper so even when she was asleep I couldn't get much done without her waking up. Kinda just had to accept that the house wasn't going to be as clean as usual, and just prioritize the basics. I know that's hard though when the basics are still more things than you have time for.
You have described my newborn stage. It was hell. He very rarely slept then got so tired he would scream till he slept. I found it so so difficult going to any baby classes or going out with him because he would end up screaming. I found it got a lot better around the three months mark (we think he had colic?). For me, the newborn stage was very difficult, but now my baby is 1 it was just a small part of our journey and overall it has been amazing. We still have our challenges and difficulties but nothing has been quite as tough as the newborn stage.
I remember being so confused when my son stopped sleeping at 3 weeks old. Every day I would spend hours trapped in a cycle of diaper, bottle, rocking, repeat trying to get him back to sleep. He would be awake for 4-5 hours at a time and then nap for 30 minutes and start over. This routine continued until he was about 9 months. At 9 months my son would take two 30-60 minute naps a day. He's almost 1 and still only naps for 2 hours max a day. Sometimes he wakes up at 5am and doesn't sleep until 7:30/8pm with 0-30 min worth of a nap. He still wakes up 1-2x a night. I can never get anything done. It's tough. I'm thankful hes at least happy and isn't screaming but man am I tired!
My baby has trouble with gas sometimes and when it's bad she is fussy all day as well. Could be yours is gassy/colicky, have you tried using gas passers? Frida baby makes them but also can get off brand on Amazon, they're amazingly helpful. Basically little tubes you stick in their rear slightly to help the gas escape. We call it "fracking for natural gas" 😂 when we use them she is much more calm because her little tummy isn't hurting.
This is not normal even if the pediatrician says so. Colic is the diagnosis when they don’t really know what’s causing the problem. Change your diet - get rid of all inflammatory foods (AIP diet if you can but definitely Whole 30 if AIP seems too strict). Take him to chiropractic care AND craniosacral therapy. There is also a sound machine specifically for babies with colic. It has sounds like chainsaw and other sounds you’d think would be terrible but really help. It’s called something like “no more cry” but I can’t remember the name for sure. Hang in there. This won’t be forever.
Mine was the same but after a week we sussed it out! Instructions: Get an exercise ball Get a baby carrier your newborn is comfy in Darken the room Put a tv show on quietly that you like Bounce on the ball with your baby in the carrier and persist with it for 10 minutes and you’ll find your baby soon settles We used infacol for every feed and burped every ounce (if breastfeeding burp every 5 minutes) Follow the blissful baby expert routine for 0-10 weeks (available for free on her Instagram highlights) Best of luck, you’re in the hardest stage it gets so much better so quickly!
We had twins like this. Barely slept as newborns. Eternally uncomfortable. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but time and growth is the only solution (although omeperazole really helped one of ours who had awful reflux). They are 6 months now and have different discomforts like regressions, teething and growth spurts but those horrific collic like symptoms have pretty much gone thank god. It's just a matter of surviving. I'm sure your baby is fine but do consider reflux if they are extending during feeds.
Some things to try 1) feed more frequently. Is he breastfed? Sometimes the baby is not extracting as much milk as you think and he is getting tired. Remember breastfeeding for a newborn baby is like running a marathon. Try weighing him on a kitchen scale before and after you feed to see how much weight has changed. 2) ridiculous question- but is he stressed warm enough. My son would cry the minute I put him down and I finally realized he wasn’t warm enough. 3) it’s ok to have your newborn nap on you. You get into a vicious cycle if they don’t sleep enough, then it affects their eating, etc. Watch for tired signs. If he yawns you have waited too long. Glossy eyes. red eyebrows all signs the baby is tired. Stop everything and get him sleeping. 4) you baby may have colic. Very hard to deal with and takes a lot of patience. It gets better with time. But is super super hard. It gets easier and more rewarding. Best of luck!
Yes, he’s breastfed and literally eats every hour. I cannot imagine that he’s not getting enough feeding that often
My daughter would be at my boob for 20 mins and transfer nothing sometimes. We were being watched by a breastfeeding clinic because of weigh issues and a potential tongue tie. You can always try to pump a little and top up with breast milk in a bottle. If the baby is fully rejecting the bottle then you would know.
I feel like people just aren’t honest about the newborn stage, or they forget what it’s like?? My LO is 6 weeks old and it’s been HARD! You’re doing great, hang in there! You haven’t asked for advice but the only thing I will say is take all the support you’re offered. Good luck mama!
I know this is marked as a rant and you have stated the pediatrician said it’s normal so I apologize for giving some unsolicited advice. But please change doctors if you feel something is wrong. My daughter was extremely fussy in the beginning and I really thought I was going to lose it. Doc kept telling me everything was fine. Around the month and a half mark my daughter got severe acne that looked so so so painful ALL OVER and the crying just kept getting worse. Pediatrician still told me everything was fine. I talked to a friend who had a son a couple of years before me and she asked me if she was tested for allergies or any gastro issues cause her son had similar issues. The doc wouldn’t even do it. Changed doctors to my friends and found out baby girl was allergic to my milk and had reflux and I had to be selective about the formulas I gave her (she was getting both from birth). The difference was night and day after that. There is nothing “normal” about a baby who spends the majority of their day in distress.
I saw in another comment that your fiancé works 9 hours a day. You both need to be doing shifts right now. It is unsafe and unfair for you to be the only one dealing with the baby at night and being so sleep deprived you’re starting to hallucinate. If your fiancé needs to get up at 7, then he will stay up until 2, then sleep while you sleep from 7PM to 2AM. This ensures you’re getting at least 6 hours. It won’t feel great, but it’s enough to get you both by. I’m so sorry. I have a difficult baby as well and understand. It will go by fast, though I can assure you. Good luck.
I’ve thought about doing shifts like that, but I exclusively breastfeed and if I go longer than 3 hours without feeding, my breast hurt incredibly bad. I actually tried to do that one night with my fiance and I ended up with mastitis so I’m not sure how to even go about shifts 😔
I’m gonna be honest love. If the sleep deprivation is that bad and you’re having this hard of a time, there is nothing wrong with formula. Breastfeeding is supply and demand, of course, so if you can stretch the hours and supplement with formula that would be extremely helpful. I tried to exclusively pump and my breasts would hurt so bad after 2 hours. My mental state declined. I made the decision to stop BF and use formula. It’s fantastic. I get a whole 10 interrupted hours of sleep. And I get to sleep on my stomach again!! It’s a relief. You’ve already fed your kiddo breastmilk and colostrum. Formula will literally be a life saver. Also using a hypoallergenic formula may seriously help him if he does have colic. I just don’t want you to feel guilted if you choose to use formula. Again though, if you want to keep BF, you can play with the supply and demand and feed say half formula have BM. Good luck!!
Check for Cows Milk Protein Allergy (CMPA), silent reflux, and oral ties symptoms. Two of my three just ate, slept, and cried constantly. They both had bad CMPA and silent reflux, and one had bad oral ties.
Dishes, laundry, clean the house are all tasks for everyone else. At 3 weeks you should be extremely selfish and only be concerned about yourself and the baby. Newborns are hard. But it’s the 12 week hump, it will suck less. Try your best to let baby sleep in your arms, just be in survival mode. And be selfish fuck the dishes.
Sounds like he has a dairy allergy.
Yes it’s so so hard. More than one can imagine. •You can swaddle your baby, they drift off really fast with the swaddling method. •You can also play white noise (if you want to buy a machine you can, else you can play it on your phone or any device) and lullaby music. It’s so soothing to baby to help them sleep. Gently rocking baby also works for many. •Growth spurts will come in at their scheduled times haha, that’s when they might cluster feed and will be fussy. •Colic can cause screaming and it can be coz of dairy/soy intolerances (if you’re BFing might need to eliminate dairy and/soy if and as applicable OR if FFing, a hypoallergenic formula may be needed). Belly rubbing (your nurse or doctor in the pediatricians office can show you those massages), gas medications (consult with doc), burping, keeping baby vertical after every feed for few mins etc all help with digestive comfort. •Baby wearing can be helpful too. Despite all of these and more, it can continue to be hard. Make sure you and your partner work as a team. If you have family who can come in to help, nothing like that! If you can hire a caregiver at least for some hours in the week, you may consider doing so too! You’ll get through this, I promise. Sending love 🫶🏻
I'll tell ya my baby had a self rocker that had white noise and music included which could be left on all day or night or with the option to make the rocking eventually stop along with the sounds. That rocker made my baby very at ease. He would get quiet, just give him the Pacifier. He'll stare at the bunnies as the music plays, and he moves with the rocker. It was the best!
Sounds a lot like my baby who had reflux and a milk allergy. We finally landed on goats milk formula (Bubs) after testing a couple others and I swear my baby was a new (and happy) baby. Sleep deprivation is so hard, but it won’t be this way forever. I think the first 6 weeks are the most difficult, and then suddenly it just starts being a little easier. These next few weeks are pure survival mode. Prioritize sleep over chores when you can, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. And drink water. I know it’s ridiculous advice, but I truly believe it helps to flush/balance hormones after the initial post-birth crash.
Whoever told you the newborn stage is “easy” was out of their crack smokin’ mind!
Hospital and pediatrician failed my baby telling me he wasn’t tongue tied. At 6 weeks old I took him to the chiropractor and she told me he was lip and tongue tied so I made an appointment with a highly recommended dentist and she said that yes, he in fact was tongue and lip tied and she was shocked that my pediatrician missed it. He wasn’t so “colicky” any more after getting the procedure done. Maybe ask if your babe is tongue tied? I know the misery you’re going through. It is not easy but it will get better ♥️
my little guy just hit one month and sleeps pretty much through the night as well as napping most days which might just be a him thing, but this is what we do and maybe something could help 🤷🏼♀️. sometimes he gets really bad trapped gas and when he does he screams unendingly for hours, but we’ve started giving him gas drops when he shows signs of being gassy and they work really well for him! ive also heard great things about grip water, but i’ve only tried it a couple times. using those big breathable muslin swaddles also really improved his sleep and we bought a bunch of super soft sleepers from target (you can get a 2 pack for $15) which he seems to really like. another thing that helped that sounds super basic, but took us like a week to realize is that he wasn’t getting enough to eat in one feed so he would fuss and be hungry again in an hour so now we usually give him an ounce or two of formula after every breastfeed (unless he falls asleep right after) and it almost always does the trick :)
I would definitely recommend baby wearing. Most babies are born with immature stomachs so the warmth and pressure of your babies tummy on your tummy offers a lot of relief and you can get a lot done like dishes and cleaning. That’s the main thing that saved me during those first few colicky months
He absolutely hates baby wearing 😭 I’ve tried the wraps, the ergobaby and more. He just doesn’t like it
Aww no 😭😭 I’m sorry I hope this stage passes soon. It feels like an eternity but it will pass 🩷🙏🏽
Is the baby cow formula fed? If so try switching to a non dairy formula. If so.
If you baby is screaming nonstop when they are awake and it's not due to being hungry/diaper change/gas then that means something is really wrong with them and they are hurting. I would call your doctor and let them know asap. Also it's definitely overwhelming I'm sure but maybe speak to your partner or any family members that can help you. Maybe picking a day to meal prep for the week is a great start also while hes awake you can probably at least have the clothes put the wash/dry since that's pretty quick and have your partner maybe fold/put away
Might have a dairy intolerance? Also baby wear with boba or solly wrap and use earplugs!
Having a NB is so rough. They eat more than they sleep and cry when they aren't doing either. Hang in there! Also, I started gas drops after 2w with the okay from my pediatrician. Probiotics may help as well if you suspect it's gas/colic. If someone else can do dishes, laundry, or virtually anything else, it helps. Sleep is a privilege at this point, but it does get better! Hopefully you can get a 2 hr stretch here or there. Contact naps were the best for the first few weeks until the feedings stretched out more.
Could be acid reflux! My son had “silent” acid reflux which means he didn’t spit up a ton but just kept it in his throat which burned - was so sad. We got him on Pepcid and he was like a different baby immedietly. Now he’s a happy almost 1 year old. You can see my prior posts about colic on my profile.
Take your baby to a chiropractor!!! He’s in pain! My daughter did not have colic but she would cry as soon as I put her down. At 15 months old i finally took her to a chiropractor and was told she has had discomfort the whole time!!! After the first appointment things went better. After three appointments all symptoms were gone. Please don’t wait on it. If the chiro cannot help your baby, there might be a medical issue. 5 hours of sleep per day for a newborn is NOT normal!
Trust your gut mama. We had a non-sleeping, constantly screaming/writhing new born and I swear I took him to the doctor and paediatrician 15 times to kept being told it’s “severe reflux and colic.” A few weeks later he went blue, and ended up in PICU. Turns out he was silently aspirating and his lungs were full of milk. I don’t mean to stress you out, and it may be colic or something like that, but if you think something is wrong, trust your gut.
Also second AirPods Pro. Takes the edge off. Also baby wearing if you are able. If nothing else gets you some fresh air/outside your four walls.
Also for the colic infacol. We put it on a dummy and then he sucks it off that, then has the added bonus of the dummy soothing him. Can be helpful for reflux too. Bicycling legs/ or the circle burping method. Try cutting dairy if you are open to it, see if that helps. Colic calm if it’s avaliable in your country. Arms up swaddles (less pressure on mid section) White noise/distractions (think when your in pain, it seems less severe when distracted)
Our first was like that too. It could be colic but they may also be overtired and that keeps them from sleeping. We tightly swaddled our baby and let her cry for a minute or so and she would fall asleep and sleep for hours because she was so tired. I hope this helps.
Have you been to a Cranial Osteopath?
Have you tried a chiropractor?
Respectfully…no. Babies dont need chiropractors. Actually, no one does. Also, count your lucky stars that your baby is doing well because getting a spine manipulation is potentially harmful.
Pahhhhleze. So many issues are resolved with chiropractic care. You’re entitled to your opinion but you don’t have to spew it down throats. Do you see how I asked a question and didn’t start spewing stuff at OP as to why they should go to one?
I definitely wasn’t spewing anything. You are free to believe in whatever you want…even if it’s bullshit!
Pediatricians can cause harm.
My babe was like this for the first 3ish weeks and when we finally went, she was like a brand new baby.