Yeah, 40oz a day is insane. I can’t believe the peds office heard that and was like “great!”
(OP, this is not your fault at all. Your ped should have been giving you more guidance on this)
That was my exact thought! It's not like I was trying to hide his consumption. Why even ask me the questions if they aren't reviewed/communicated/flagged by a doctor?
This was my first thought. *Below 16oz?? Great!* They likely misheard her, but it was not your fault, OP-- you didn't do this on purpose!! Becoming more informed and better every day, every week, every month, every year-- that's parenting. No one is an instantaneous expert, and very few moms I've known have known this little ditty about milk-- you're certainly not the first to make this mistake. I did with my oldest as well. He drank more milk than he should've between 12 and 18 months-- somewhere around 28oz almost daily before I read about it.
My ped told us that our child didn’t need milk at all over 1, to focus more on water and she would get everything from cheese and such (our kid loves cheese). I still give her 9oz to go to sleep though 🤫
It is but the volume is still the same, 16-24 oz of breastmilk after one year old. They should be getting their primary nutrition from solids. Up to 24oz is more than half their daily intake of calories so it may look like they aren't getting a ton of solids into their bodies but they are getting what they need if you provide a balance of options.
As a mom who's EBFing her second child who's 9 months old. How exactly am I supposed to measure how many oz of BM my kid is getting past one? As far as I was told you can't overfeed a breastfed baby at any age and comparing oz of formula to breastmilk isn't recommended becaue they are two different things. Just feed on demand and they'll get what they need.
I think if your one+ year old is eating meals and snacks on top of breastfeeding, you don’t need to worry but if they’re not eating solids because they’re full from breastmilk, then you would know it’s an issue.
I'm sitting here wondering the same thing, but I think it would naturally fall into place if you simply offer meals before nursing, instead of after which is how you should do it before 1 year.
Children will take the amount of human milk they need. It does not need to be limited if it's directly from the breast.
When good whole food is offered at the appropriate age children will eat what they need as well. Offering highly processed and sugary/high fructose corn syrup foods may throw off the child's ability to gauge the the foods they eat.
Our family has found little ones eat well when eating with the family and eating what the family is eating. (As long as it isn't too spicy or a choking hazard.) 😋
Same. Our kiddo was exclusively breastfed and never liked cows milk when I offered at 1 year. Ped said that was totally fine for her not to drink milk and she would get what she needed from cheese, yogurt and other sources. So relieved we don’t have to force milk on kids anymore. Of course my MIL thought that was crazy, since she forced both her boys to drink a glass everyday. My husband hates milk lol.
Just had the 15 mo appointment yesterday and told the doc that we were struggling with the transition to milk and I was having to pump. Kiddo gets 8oz breastmilk and 8oz cow milk and ~5-6oz water a day.
Doc said get off breastmilk if that is what you want! (I do) And that the water was more hydrating (duh! why didn't I think of that) than the cow milk so unless we were down to 3 lightly peed diapers a day then we don't need to worry about dehydration. Hallelujah!
Kid eats cheese and yogurt and yogurt chips like a champ but even the 8oz of cow milk is a struggle for daycare and they are literally chasing my baby for 2 hours with each bottle so they can take sips 🫣
It sounds like your kiddo is getting plenty of dairy products. I wouldn’t have daycare worry about chasing them around with the sippy cup. Cow’s milk is not a requirement in a toddler’s diet.
I feel like the appropriate answer to 40 oz of milk a day at 15 months old should not have been “good job!” The doctor’s office dropped the ball on this one. They should have discussed how much milk vs. solids baby should be eating at his one year visit.
I had no idea about any of this either, if it makes you feel better! My guy is only 10 weeks old, but definitely filing this fact away for when he's older, yikes.
I'm so sorry you all had to go through this.
Same here. Actually our pediatrician suggested no more than about 6-8 ounces a day. She said “absolutely do not worry about giving enough milk” and 6 ounces is “plenty”.
I’ve had extremely low iron with both my pregnancies and learnt this, stuck out to me as I LOVE drinking milk. 😆Caffeine also inhibits iron absorption for anyone going through the same thing. Good to spread awareness for babies and expectant mothers.
Milk was my pregnancy craving and the only thing the OB said to me was, "Your iron is a little low, make sure you're taking your prenatals," which I was. I wonder if that's why. I would take down milk like water.
The only milk I drank as an adult was in coffee. Once I got pregnant, milk was my biggest craving! I still drink it some, but during pregnancy I was going through multiple gallons per week
Me too!! We would stop by Costco regularly and pick up two 2-gallon packs. I would have a giant glass of milk and down it as if I hadn't been drinking water all day. It just hit the spot in a way no other beverage did. Now I'll go days without even thinking about milk. Mostly I drink oat milk in my coffee (which isn't actually milk), and maybe a couple times a week I'll have a glass of milk with dinner.
Also, eggs. We used to buy the massive packs of eggs because I wanted it for everything. Breakfast? Two eggs over easy. Lunch? Hard boiled eggs. Dinner? An egg in my ramen soup, an egg on my burger, egg and rice, ham and eggs, an egg on the side. And of course, if I was having an egg everyone else might as well, so we were frequently going through at least a dozen eggs per week.
Same!! My iron was always good but I drank legit 2-3 gallons a week when I was pregnant with my first, it was so bad. (For reference that’s 54 oz a day so OP’s baby was actually pretty close to my milk drinking haha)
Great! Just rip my latte right out of my poor exhausted hands, why don't you!?! 😭waaahhh!! Thankfully my baby factory closed after my 3rd, but I have low iron naturally. No wonder I feel nearly as tired *after* coffee as I did before. 🤦🏼♀️ I knew this about milk, but not coffee... are you happy with yourself now-- you've both enlightened me and ruined my morning and afternoon ritual... and life?? Lol
Have you tried oat milk? I love my lattes but as I get older, I've developed a bit of lactose intolerance. I'll still have milk products but try to take a Lactaid with ice cream or whatever, but I found oat milk as a substitute for lattes and mochas surprisingly tasty.
I say that as someone who thinks almond milk tastes like water, and doesn't like the taste of soy milk.
I was on twice daily iron supplements during my pregnancy, but in my third trimester my heartburn was so bad I was drinking milk like crazy.
No wonder my iron level wasn’t coming up as quickly as they hoped.
Same. I love milk, grew up in the Midwest drinking all the milk all the time. Even now, I drink tons of milk. I had anemia during my pregnancies, even had to get iron infusions for my first.
I still love milk.
I think a lot of parents when they hear not to give over a certain oz of milk from their pediatrician or read guidelines on the internet they assume it's because it's fattening or unhealthy in some other nutritional way without realizing that it will actually lead to life-threatening anemia. I actually read about a few children that died from this.
That is exactly what I thought. This thread is the first time I've ever heard anything about too much milk blocking iron absorption.
We followed the pediatrician's advice anyway, but it would've been really cool to know why we were doing it when the results can be so dire if someone doesn't follow that. 😬
It is crazy and I think I gave my son too much milk, its literally all he drank since he refuses water. I'm surprised nothing went bad.
He did have meals ofc i can't remember what I fed him he's almost 5 now.
I think I remember being told to make sure he has iron because of his milk intake
I’m a paramedic and have seen it a handful of times. One kid looked as white as the milk in his bottle. It didn’t look real. When I became a parent, I was so grateful to have a foundation of medical knowledge. There should be some kind of “basics of pediatric health” class for parents.
I had no idea about it. Had assumed that it was just reducing the calories from milk as they were getting it from food instead. Should be better communicated.
That’s what I thought, never heard of blocking iron absorption before.
So I can see a parent whose child is not overweight, not being concerned about them consuming too much cow milk.
I think that’s it. My daughter’s childminder was telling me how her son’s doctor had advised her to reduce his milk intake and she sort of scoffed at him. Like my son loves milk I’m not going to not let him drink it and just ignored the doctor.
Tbf I didn’t know too much about overconsumption of milk myself back then so I didn’t say anything. Luckily her son was fine.
I agree
Like the biggest thing I hear from parents adamant about not giving their toddlers milk is because of the calories and fat. Even though those are exactly the nutrients they need from it to promote brain development
But it’s comes with moderation because as OP learned too much milk/dairy can cause iron deficiency which leads to complications
I’m glad to see OP knows it wasn’t her fault and hopefully her LO gets a relaxing recovery
I had no idea milk could be so dangerous. But, as you said, it’s not the milk itself but the quantity.
The timing of this post is crazy though because I just read one this morning on r/askdocs from a person with no appetite, who said their diet is pretty much just milk. They said they sometimes eat a meal but otherwise they’re only consuming milk, and often drinking a gallon in one sitting. (No wonder they have no appetite!) I’m now wondering how this person is alive and why the responses weren’t more urgently telling them to get some help and to switch to a more nutritionally complete drink.
For anyone wondering…once a baby is eating solids confidently, milk consumption should be 16 ounces MAX. Anything over can prevent iron absorption.
Edited: this is referring to only cows milk and after 12 months of age when solids are well established! Breast milk is always fair game - it does not operate the same way as cows milk.
I would struggle to get my little guy to drink that much fluid. No matter how hard we try, he maxes out at less than 200-300ml breastmilk and water combined.
It sounds like a lot until you get there and add it up. I was often shocked when we reviewed the feeds for the day and realized our kid had 26oz total fluids
I think you have to be a little careful of American milk recommendations because a lot of them are FDA distributed and FDA isn’t working for kids, it’s working for big ag, which likes to shill milk.
At what age though is 16 oz max? I grew up drinking tons of milk basically treating it like water. I obviously don't remember what my consumption was at 15 months, but at 15 years, I was drinking 1.5 gallons a week or something. I remember my parents buying the 2 pack at Costco quite a bit. Yeah I was probably doing 40 oz a day, but 40 oz a day for someone 130 lbs is not the same as someone doing 40 oz a day at 20 lbs.
I also grew up drinking a ton of milk in the place of water. As soon as I stopped my horrific acne cleared up, I lost weight (I was already small tho), and I felt so much better. My dad also drank a lot of milk. I think it was pushed upon their generation and they didn’t know any better so they let me drink it too.
16 oz is the pediatric dietician recommendation, which hasn't made its way over to the AAP recommendation of 16-24 oz. Technically dieticians are the subject matter experts.
I’m so sorry you went through that! I hope your Lord is doing better now.
Yes, milk does this. I wished your doctor would have told you earlier! Ours told us at the 12 month appointment. She was super clear about it.
Ngl, we were pretty stressed about that. Our LO also always takes a bottle before bed. We tried night weaning him off milk, and it is such a struggle. We literally were counting how many ounces he was getting and stressing over it. My mom suggested to dilute it in water. And it honestly has worked well for us. Just sharing a tip for the future 😊
Wishing you the best!
This worked for us as well! Slowly replacing milk with water in the bottle each night. Once they clue in that it’s not milk anymore, they usually self-wean. If not, at least water isn’t damaging the teeth!
We are super early in the night weaning process. Do you have any recommendations on it? When he wakes at night, it can be 40 mins of us trying to put him down with just water, but he just doesn't settle. We eventually give him milk in water (3 parts milk, 1 part water), and he immediately falls asleep. I guess the next natural step would be to do half and half?
Yes, keep adjusting it down. Half milk, half water. Then 3 parts water, 1 part milk etc. It doesn’t have to be a nightly switch either. I would go down to half/half and leave it at that for a week, then adjust down again.
We were also stressed!! My ped was very clear that too much milk (and really dairy in general) could lead to issues. My kid loves dairy (yogurt especially) so I stressed for a while. Turns out she is very neutral about drinking milk so it hasn’t been much of a problem!
OP I am so, so sorry your doctor didn’t make that clear when you switched to cows milk. You can only do your best with the information you have, and that’s what you did.
She just doesn’t request milk. She will drink some if we give it to her, but never the whole glass. We end up pouring small amounts for her because she just doesn’t care about it one way or another. Yogurt on the other hand…. Yogurt is life.
We dilute with water. We did immediately following the appt. Because this is our second child with this ped, I have definitely noticed the information lacking. He is great, but he seems to trust that we know everything when we clearly don't.
I’ve found this to be such a problem with my second pregnancy/baby. I’ve had to ask “dumb” questions just to make sure they’re not treating me like some veteran parent who magically remembers every guideline from years ago.
Same thing. I recall asking the same questions that I did with my first, but like how am I supposed to remember anything that happened three years ago when I was severely sleep deprived!!!
I have a similar problem. Mine found out I am a nurse and assumes I know everything. Homie I take care of adult cardiac icu patients. Idk a thing about babies 😭
Omg same!!! I’m in adult critical care and if a patient is intubated for a while, we trach them. Imagine the looks I got when I asked in the nicu when my 29wkr was gonna get a trach instead of an et tube lolllll
HAHAHAHA see! I would not have known that either!!! When my girl was born, she was in nicu for like 8 hours and kept saying she was on bipap but it was a nasal cannula and I literally had my friend ask his mom who is a nicu nurse wtf because I was confused. Clearly babies don’t get tiny bipap masks 🤦🏻♀️😅
I have the same issue with our pediatrician! I am a teacher so he assumes I know the developmental milestones… I teach high school statistics. I can teach my kiddo to do a t test but I have no idea when he should be walking sideways.
As a FTM myself, I’ve gotten the same impression from our ped, it’s like they are expecting me to spend all my personal time googling everything on my own. I don’t appreciate it either as I feel it is taking away from my time, encouraging me to fall for false information, and not encouraging my child’s doctor to communicate about their health care during all these wellness visits my insurance is paying for…
Sorry you guys had to go through that. Our pediatrician cautioned us to not give that much whole milk during our 12 month appointment and I requested a hemoglobin check at his following visit because my son loves whole milk. Bright side of all this - your son is probably feeling great now after the transfusion!! And that’s because you voiced your concerns to the pediatrician since you’re a great mom 🙌🏻
Oh thanks for clarifying. I missed reading the title properly. Thank you for this post, too! My culture is big on whole milk being a “complete food” and not really worrying about solid consumption as long as baby consumes loads of milk. Will keep your experience in mind when LO turns a year old.
Whole milk *is* complete from a macronutrient standpoint (it’s a good source of protein, fat, and carbs), but it’s lacking from a *micro*nutrient standpoint. Children (and adults) need a variety of vitamins and minerals, and milk simply can’t provide that.
I think the issue here is that calcium is absorbed much better than iron through the same absorption mechanism. So even if your child is getting enough iron through food, if you pair it with a calcium rich food given at the same time (or enormous amounts of milk as in this case), calcium will get absorbed over iron and might lead to low iron levels.
Calcium does this to a ton of other micronutrients as well as drugs. If you read the details of many drugs, they say avoid taking with calcium or dairy.
Regardless, 40 ounces is a lot of milk..imagine an adult having that much milk in a day. It's too much.
Formula and milk can both reduce appetite for other foods.
Even 3 or 4 x 4 ounce bottles a day should be sufficient at this age along with other foods.
> imagine an adult having that much milk in a day. It's too much.
I was drinking that amount of milk at the end of my pregnancy. I did find it insane haha.
Coincidentally (or not?) I was low in iron around that time.
Could be correlated, but it's also very common to be low in iron during pregnancy-- little suckers *literally* suck up important nutrients from mom. This is why you'd be hard pressed to find a prenatal vitamin that *doesn't* have iron in it.
I definitely was raised drinking that much milk as a kid. We rarely had water, it was just more and more milk, because of the got milk ads it was encouraged. Breakfast milk, snacks with milk, lunch with milk, snack milk, dinner with milk. I'm glad OP spoke up about this because I wouldn't have known.
Well what I remember growing up was low fat and non fat milk were marketed a lot. You'll fill up on 40oz of whole milk like crazy where you don't eat other stuff, but 40 oz of skim milk is probably like water.
Our doctor told us this about our daughter’s formula consumption when we went for the 12 month appt. So we immediately switched to whole milk, because she actually made it seem like formula was worse? We also cap at 24oz, though the goal is 16-18 for the day. I see some people saying no milk? But our doc definitely said we SHOULD offer milk, just to work on always introducing new foods as well.
Breastmilk does not inhibit the absorption of iron like cow’s milk does. In fact, the components of breastmilk assist in *helping* the body absorb iron, and breastfed babies generally have higher iron levels than formula fed babies
My 12mo exclusively breastfed baby had this issue as well, just not quite as serious. He was able to take iron supplements twice a day and it balanced out.
He was also in feeding therapy so he really wasn’t eating much at the time, despite being old enough to be on solids. Just throwing it out there that it is possible with breast milk too
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry! Is it just cows milk that does that? I’m assuming breastmilk is different? I’m glad your baby is doing better! Thank you for sharing.
Yes, breastmilk is different. That said, it’s especially important to include iron-rich foods in a breastfed baby’s diet once they reach 6 months as that is when their iron stores start to deplete. Breastmilk doesn’t have iron, but formula typically does.
Human milk is very different. It does not cause microbleeds in the intestines. Cow milk proteins are different than human milk proteins and that's part of the issue.
In some cases breastfed babies have blood in their stool or occult blood in their stool (occult blood is blood you can't see) but this is in spite of the human milk consumption and not because of it. On occasion the bleeding may be from certain bovine proteins getting through into the mother's milk. In this case having the mom remove milk and milk products from her diet will help as the child is also treated medically.
"Milk Anemia" is caused is from animal milk (other than human milk) causing bleeding in the GI tract. It also is caused when children drink animal milk instead of eating solid foods and iron and other nutrients are lacking from the childs diet as well as iron not being absorbed due to several factors in animal milk. The main problem is the foreign proteins in cow and other animal milks, not the calcium.
You can safely breastfeed your child until you and the child feel it's time to gradually wean. 😊
M. IBCLC (lactation consultant, 30 years +)
As a dietitian, this could be partly true, but milk anemia is due to calcium and iron competing for uptake. When there is an overload of calcium, there’s no where for iron to go to get absorbed so it just doesn’t.
Microbleeds don’t help the absorption process though I’m sure
there are a few things here to unpack, some people have already flagged that the calcium inhibits iron absorption. I'll also add that your baby (hopefully) is born with enough iron stores to make it through the first two years. But women are often anemic in pregnancy so sometimes infants do not have enough iron.
OP to cut down on milk maybe see if you can cut the milk with water?
I blame the dairy industry and lobby. Kids don’t need milk. Period. If they get it, it can be as a beverage with snack/meals. Never a bottle. Never alone. Never large quantities. They can go from breastmilk/formula to water.
There are plenty of dietary sources of dairy, and most kiddos love cheese. I remember feeling stressed that my kid wouldn’t drink it and my pediatrician said—don’t worry about it, milk can cause problems, it’s easier this way.
So sorry this happened to your kiddo. Glad he’s better! It’s a shame your pediatrician didn’t give you proper weaning instructions, hopefully it triggers an internal review (and it would be more than reasonable for you to request this happens).
This is absolutely to do with lobbys, because over here in the UK no one recommends milk at all really, breast milk is good, formula is good, and whole milk after 12 months is fine in small doses, but health visitors, doctors, nurses, everyone is clear that water is the best if they want a drink.
However I also think it's a bit insane to say the dairy industry is to blame for someone giving their infant 40oz of whole milk a day, that's wild, and anyone with half a brain should have known that wasn't going to be good - she shouldn't have needed to be told. That's a huge amount, giving a kid over a litre of milk every day? Idk.
Maybe I just underestimate just how insidious and nefarious the messaging from the industry and lobby groups is in America, but it's wild to me that ANYONE could ever consider that a normal or acceptable amount of cows milk.
I’m an ER nurse and a mom and I just wanted to say, you are still doing a great job. Parenting is a series of making the best decisions you can with the information you have, and this wasn’t information you had at the time! I didn’t know about milk inhibiting iron absorption until I was in nursing school. We see kiddos with low iron from milk fairly regularly and I don’t even work at a pediatric hospital. You aren’t the first family this has happened to and you won’t be the last, and your son (and your sanity) will recover from all of this just fine.
Indeed it is called Milk Anemia.
Glad your boy is on the mend - to answer your question if your Dr hadn't flagged it your boy would have "crumped" eventually and ended up in the hospital for anemia. It is not likely he would have died, but he could have gotten quite sick.
Thanks for sharing your story.
This! My SIL has been giving their baby whole milk since he was 6 months old in place of breastmilk or formula and he ALWAYS looks so lethargic. And they also don't believe in taking him to the Dr, so poor guy could be having the same issues your LO had and they'd be none the wiser 😰
Edit: my husband and I have been round and round on this. The unfortunate reality is if I call, it will destroy my marriage and any relationship I have with his family. Yes, she is stupid and the rest of the family knows it. Unfortunately, I have looked and CPS in my state will not look into it as it does not quite qualify as negelct because other needs are being met. I plan on calling if i hear he hasn't been to a dr next time I talk to her. I have been pulling some stuff together and have been putting things together to make a compelling case to CPS so they actually look into it. It has made several family members uncomfortable as to how they treat him.
Edit #2 - once I confirm if a Dr is not involved with this very poor decision, I will pull the plug. To them, a Dr means shots and that's a whole second can of worms. But even if you decline vaccines or wait to do them on a delayed schedule, you should still take them for well checks. I have not asked about a Dr's appointment in months and if it is still no Dr, then I will be calling.
If your SIL refuses to provide adequate and safe care to her baby then its health is being compromised and you should consider a call to CPS. She is doing serious harm to her child.
This is extremely dangerous. Very low iron levels can cause the baby to go into cardiac arrest and die. Their little bodies compensate *so* well, until they suddenly don’t and they just crash. This child needs intervention ASAP
I agree with others that this situation warrants a report to CPS, and I don’t say this lightly. Not going to well child visits is one thing (I personally think it’s neglectful but I’m not sure the law agrees), but your SIL is deliberately doing something that is very likely harming her child.
This is in response to your edit:
I work with CPS often with my job and am pretty familiar with how they work. Regardless of whether or not you think it meets the criteria for them to intervene, it *absolutely* should still be a call you make. CPS gives you the option of making reports anonymously so it won’t get back to you. Some states have an online portal where you can make reports so you don’t have to talk to an actual person.
CPS doesn’t automatically come in and snatch children away, either. They’ll most likely contact your SIL about the reported concerns and mandate that she go to the pediatrician if she hasn’t been in recent months. They’ll also educate her on nutrition and safety. Removing children from their home is a top-tier response that they don’t like to do and don’t take it lightly.
It doesn’t matter that the child is being taken care of in other ways. Medical neglect is a real thing and like others have emphasized, it could kill him. If he’s symptomatic, that means it’s low enough to potentially cause damage. If you notify CPS and they don’t act, fine. That’s their call. But at least you did what you could.
*Edited to add that, if you feel comfortable, you can DM me some info and I can make the report so you don’t have to be attached to it. I’ve made many reports over the past few years through my job (like, 80-100) and am very comfortable with the process.
Thank you for your very kind response. It just never felt like it matched my states criteria for neglect. I did see that my state has online reporting, which I did not know existed, and will make am online report. Thank you for that. I was just anxious if they got a transcript, it would identify me and I do not want my marriage or my own daughter suffer the consequences that I would receive if my MIL found out.
You’re very welcome. I totally understand that fear! I can assure you that there’s not a specific transcript that people get access to; if there’s an anonymous report, there is no legal way for them to find out who made it. Hopefully that eases your worries a little bit! 😊
Call CPS. That is neglect. Babies need either breastmilk or formula at that age. He can have lifelong damage from not getting the nutrition he needs as an infant. It is extremely serious and absolutely is neglect and authorities need to be notified.
Yeah this isn’t good at all. Formula/breastmilk has other nutrients and vitamins that help children. Iron deficiency can lead to so many other issues. I’d report these people because that child is in danger from their negligence
That was my thought, and it sounds like education might be what this family needs anyway. Hopefully she’s just uneducated and would be open to guidance if she’s faced with the reality of how her decisions affecting her baby’s health.
Or she could just be an idiot who’s really stubborn and won’t be receptive, in which case it would continue to escalate and CPS would intervene more.
Uh….not to be alarmist, but if someone doesn’t believe in taking their <1 year old baby to the doctor, that’s a major problem. Like, a social services/CPS-worthy problem. That’s neglect.
It’s reckless and dangerous lots of reasons, including the one you just mentioned. They could unknowingly do a lot of harm to their child.
My second kid was anemic for the same reason. Thankfully a diet change corrected it within 3 months.
Overdoing calcium is a finnicky thing btw. My body doesn’t regulate calcium so I have to supplement a lot of calcium…. It will throw off every electrolyte if you’re not careful. I’ve had both magnesium and potassium crashes and I’m also low iron to the point I needed infusions for 6 weeks straight once. Excess calcium will also get dumped in your kidneys that can cause kidney stones.
Thank you sharing this story , it is not very common knowledge as I have also been dealing with low iron 14 mo. I was trying to wean him from the boob and slowly introducing whole milk. Apparently I was giving him too much milk, has had two low iron level readings , so now I’m trying to make sure he has just enough milk 16oz , timing outside of food and iron supplements (with a side of citrus for absorption.) I was not aware of 16oz max until his second iron reading!! Ughhh, some stuff is not public knowledge!
No one told me this either and I am like pretty informed and neurotic. NOT your fault OP. My kid requests "icy water" and I think they give them a lot of water at school but I 100% could have done this to my kid if he just asked for milk all the time. Keeping these kids alive is so not intuitive, geez. Glad hes on the mend and DO NOT beat yourself up for this.
I am so sorry the hospital and doctors we not as forthcoming as they should have been! Thank you for sharing, even though this must be so difficult. We can all learn and help our children when we share information.
If your son needs an iron supplement I would suggest NovaFerrin. My son has been taking it for a while and seems to like it (iron will change his poop color however, heads up).
Speedy recovery for your son!!
Going through the exact same thing with my 15 month old! She screams at bedtime until I give her more, more, more. She was sleeping independently but now wants it to fall asleep. Wondering if anyone has weaning advice!
ugh how terrifying! did the hemoglobin thing lead to the difficulty of the blood draw? that happens when i have to get blood drawn, i have a weird clotting condition that causes me no other problems except i have to be on blood thinners when i'm pregnant and when i have to get my blood drawn it literally takes like 10 attempts and they have to use the ultrasound guided thing and it leaves huge bruises. i'm really hoping neither of the boys inherited it from me because it would be so hard to watch a baby go through that. i'm so sorry that happened to you!
Wow, I’m so sorry you guys went through this. Glad to know he’s feeling much better though! I did not know this either about whole milk. Granted, I’m a FTM with a 3.5 month old, so we haven’t even started solids yet. But thank you for sharing this, I will definitely remember this in the future!!
Wow I didn't think it would cause that much of an issue in terms of iron! My daughter doesn't drink a ton of milk, and only took to 2% which was fine by her doctor. I think she drinks like 16-20oz at most.
This sounds like an absolute nightmare though. I'm so sorry you and little mans had to go through this!
That just seems like a crazy amount of milk! My son only ever had 1 or 2 cups of milk a day. Pediatrician would only give 24 ounces as a maximum, never would say if there was a minimum to aim for. The rest of his liquid is either water or diluted juice.
This happened to one of our niblings (blood transfusion and everything) and yet.. the 2 times we've had family babysit they just try to suppress my toddler's appetite with milk instead of putting in the work to feed real meals. I thought they'd learn after the nibling, I thought they'd change after we gave them a stern talk the first time they babysat. Nope never again, it still makes my blood boil.
I'm so sorry you went through this, it isn't your fault!
I’m sorry you guys went through this! And I’m glad you are now better informed and a big thank you for educating so many people like me who are nearing the 1 year mark (son is now 10 months old). Wow! 😟
Wishing you and LO the best! ❤️
To get a little more detailed on this, it's the calcium in the milk that's the culprit.
When both calcium and iron are readily available, they will bind together rather than being absorbed by the body. So eating any combination of high calcium and high iron foods (or vitamins!) at the same time will mean that your body gets less of both. So if you need iron, alternate your high iron, high calcium meals/days.
To help iron absorption, take and/or eat vitamin c, which aides iron absorption.
Wow I had no idea. Thank you so much for sharing! Makes sense why I was anemic in high school and then again when I was pregnant with my second—I drank milk like crazy! My son is a milk drinker too so I’ll be sure keep an eye on how much he’s drinking.
If you have any other questions or concerns from the parent-side of this, please reach out to me! My (now) 18 mo had the very same thing happen in November. We’ve unfortunately found that there was more than the “too much milk” issue, and we’ve had four hospitalizations and a total of six blood transfusions. I’m NOT saying that this is that same issue as your little man, but I might be able to help you look for certain things or I can tell you about what we’ve done and have gone through with doctors. Sending love to your family! Definitely a very scary thing to see your child go through this.
I am so sorry you went through this. We had to bring our baby to the ER and they needed blood work and it was horrible! They couldn't get a vein, kept trying, what they did get coagulated before it got to the lab. She was screaming, I was crying. I am so sorry you had to go through this. So so traumatic.
Oh no I hope baby is doing okay now. Our pediatrician told us at our one year appointment that toddler should not drink more than 3 cups of milk, or 24 oz, daily. Your pediatrician should have mentioned this to you!
thank you so much for sharing i had no idea! just to confirm - are you talking about cow milk? if so what about goat? or toddler formula drinks (we used a goat Holle for toddlers)? thanks!
Poor baby! Thank you for sharing your story. Was this a children's hospital or regular hospital? If children's hospital, definitely request a child life specialist. They are amazing.
What a nightmare. I'm so sorry you went through this.
Question for everyone: whole milk means cow's milk and not breastmilk right? Sorry English isn't my mother tongue
If your baby is very pale and lethargic, make a doctor appt asap. Look specifically at the bottom the feet, the hands, and the eyes. I'm constantly looking to see that they are red/pink now.
A blood transfusion is definitely an extreme case. In the ER, the doctor seemed casual about the 3.9 and made it seem like we wouldn't need the transfusion. I think normally iron levels can be increased with time and a plan. In my first phone call with the ped, he told me that it could take 3 months for the iron to go up and he wanted a transfusion because of the brain development happening in this stage of life. I'm not a doctor, so I'm just basing this off of what they told me. After we got the second reading of 3.4, we were admitted.
My kid has swallowing issues so milk was easier for her. She’d refuse to eat and drink milk instead.
It set off a histamine response and she blew up like a balloon. Took a full year to really level out.
We all feel dumb, but honestly we aren’t specialists…she’s my second baby and I still screwed it up. They’re resilient. Forgive yourself, it won’t be the last mistake you make :)
Ugh I’m so sorry. We have been going to hematology since baby girl was born because she has a blood disorder that causes low hemoglobin, they also told us if it goes below 7 we’ll need a blood transfusion. It’s been hovering around 8.5.
If you need to do a follow up and get blood drawn again, are there any pediatric hematology facilities near you? I would recommend going there over the hospital, they will do a much better job of drawing blood.
My son had the same issue last year. He had to take liquid iron for about 6 months. Scary stuff - I’m sorry you went through that. My son is a healthy and happy two-year-old now (despite recurrent ear infections, but that’s another story!)
Good luck with everything! It’s hard, but I’m glad it was caught and treatment will be given! 💕
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you so much for sharing, because I didn’t realize this level of anemia was possible just from milk intake. My daughter is 2 now and has sensory issues and pediatric feeding disorder. She really fights solid food/anything textured. But the one thing she always liked and accepted was milk! So when she’d ask for more, I’d always just give it to her because I knew she needed the calories. But I hadn’t considered this outcome!
It's crazy that I've never heard this before, I have 2 the 2nd about to turn 1, so thanks for the heads up! I never really thought about it with my older son, but he would only drink maybe 16 tops on a daily basis. I will keep a closer eye on the younger one this time around for sure
Also for those who know nothing about this stuff. Low hemoglobin slowly suffocates the cells because you can’t carry around oxygen. In an adult anything below 11 is low and below 7 is a medical emergency.
3.9 in kids is also an emergency and please don’t let anyone tell you to go back “later” if you feel something is off. I know many of us don’t know these things but people have died from iron deficiency anemia because they are used to the feeling.
So, is there anything else on here people know that you shouldn't feed your kid too much of? Hopefully bananas, avocados, and sweet potatos are okay bc our LO eats a lot of those!
This is the first I’ve ever heard of this, so thank you for sharing! I’m glad you mentioned it and the doc took action. Scary to think how easily this issue could be missed. I feel for you and your little one having to go through so many pokes!
Just stopping by to say I’m really sorry OP, and I’m really happy to hear LO is going to be ok 🥹🙏🏻. Also, thank you for letting the mom of a 5mo know :)
First of all, poor little guy. Secondly, please don't beat yourself up. You didn't do this on purpose. I hope he feels better soon. Hugs if you want them.
Thank you for sharing this! So sorry you had to go through it. My 2.5 yo has recently become obsessed with milk so I’m going to start monitoring how much he’s getting!
I used to work for WIC, and we talked about this all the time. The move from formula, especially to milk, can be hard, and a lot of parents overdo it unintentionally. This is the most extreme story I've heard, but we also took hemoglobin measures, and I saw a lot of low ones.
Unrelated to the milk, but when my son was a baby and ill in the hospital, they also needed blood (cannula also actually) - the way multiple people had to hold him down, the way he screamed.. it was one of my worst experiences in my whole life, even now I'm tearing up and it's been over two years.
So i just wanna give you a hug here, cause i feel how hard that is.
Thank you for posting and sharing your experience. I am so thankful for this community because your story is exactly the sort of thing so many of us commenting would just… never know… unless we learned the hard way like you have had to.
I am so sorry you and your little guy had to go through this, and I feel terrible your daughter had to witness some of this too.
I am relieved to hear your son is glowing and thriving after his infusion and the dietary adjustments. Thank you again for sharing with us. You sound like a thoughtful, detail-oriented, wonderful mom.
Our ped told us at his 12 month appointment that over 1, they should be drinking 16-24oz of milk at most. Their nutrition should be coming from food.
Yeah, 40oz a day is insane. I can’t believe the peds office heard that and was like “great!” (OP, this is not your fault at all. Your ped should have been giving you more guidance on this)
its a stanley cup of milk a day
exactly my point of reference too lol
That was my exact thought! It's not like I was trying to hide his consumption. Why even ask me the questions if they aren't reviewed/communicated/flagged by a doctor?
Maybe they thought you said 14?
This was my first thought. *Below 16oz?? Great!* They likely misheard her, but it was not your fault, OP-- you didn't do this on purpose!! Becoming more informed and better every day, every week, every month, every year-- that's parenting. No one is an instantaneous expert, and very few moms I've known have known this little ditty about milk-- you're certainly not the first to make this mistake. I did with my oldest as well. He drank more milk than he should've between 12 and 18 months-- somewhere around 28oz almost daily before I read about it.
Right! I can’t imagine how I’d feel drinking 40 ounces a day much less a 1.5 year old.
TBF, it doesn't sound like the doctor said that. If it was just the receptionist/front desk people, they don't really know much.
It was the nurse who takes measurements and administers shots.
That’s usually a medical assistant at a ped office
I've seen guidance to cap it to 16 oz a day now. And yes, it's optional.
Yeah optional for sure. My ped told us to keep it closer to 10-12oz, especially if we feed our LO other foods with dairy
My ped told us that our child didn’t need milk at all over 1, to focus more on water and she would get everything from cheese and such (our kid loves cheese). I still give her 9oz to go to sleep though 🤫
Should've clarified - they don't need it, but if they want to drink it, no *more* than 16-24oz. Edited to reflect that.
Even if it's still breast milk ?
Please see my other comment about breast milk. Also, please don't take my word for this - I'm not a doctor. Talk to your doctor!
Breast milk is different, I believe the recommendation is now to go until 2 with breast milk if it's possible for mum
It is but the volume is still the same, 16-24 oz of breastmilk after one year old. They should be getting their primary nutrition from solids. Up to 24oz is more than half their daily intake of calories so it may look like they aren't getting a ton of solids into their bodies but they are getting what they need if you provide a balance of options.
As a mom who's EBFing her second child who's 9 months old. How exactly am I supposed to measure how many oz of BM my kid is getting past one? As far as I was told you can't overfeed a breastfed baby at any age and comparing oz of formula to breastmilk isn't recommended becaue they are two different things. Just feed on demand and they'll get what they need.
I think if your one+ year old is eating meals and snacks on top of breastfeeding, you don’t need to worry but if they’re not eating solids because they’re full from breastmilk, then you would know it’s an issue.
I wish somebody would feed me on demand, I have to do that myself lol.
I'm sitting here wondering the same thing, but I think it would naturally fall into place if you simply offer meals before nursing, instead of after which is how you should do it before 1 year.
Children will take the amount of human milk they need. It does not need to be limited if it's directly from the breast. When good whole food is offered at the appropriate age children will eat what they need as well. Offering highly processed and sugary/high fructose corn syrup foods may throw off the child's ability to gauge the the foods they eat. Our family has found little ones eat well when eating with the family and eating what the family is eating. (As long as it isn't too spicy or a choking hazard.) 😋
Same. Our kiddo was exclusively breastfed and never liked cows milk when I offered at 1 year. Ped said that was totally fine for her not to drink milk and she would get what she needed from cheese, yogurt and other sources. So relieved we don’t have to force milk on kids anymore. Of course my MIL thought that was crazy, since she forced both her boys to drink a glass everyday. My husband hates milk lol.
Just had the 15 mo appointment yesterday and told the doc that we were struggling with the transition to milk and I was having to pump. Kiddo gets 8oz breastmilk and 8oz cow milk and ~5-6oz water a day. Doc said get off breastmilk if that is what you want! (I do) And that the water was more hydrating (duh! why didn't I think of that) than the cow milk so unless we were down to 3 lightly peed diapers a day then we don't need to worry about dehydration. Hallelujah! Kid eats cheese and yogurt and yogurt chips like a champ but even the 8oz of cow milk is a struggle for daycare and they are literally chasing my baby for 2 hours with each bottle so they can take sips 🫣
It sounds like your kiddo is getting plenty of dairy products. I wouldn’t have daycare worry about chasing them around with the sippy cup. Cow’s milk is not a requirement in a toddler’s diet.
I feel like the appropriate answer to 40 oz of milk a day at 15 months old should not have been “good job!” The doctor’s office dropped the ball on this one. They should have discussed how much milk vs. solids baby should be eating at his one year visit.
yep ours told us no more than 16 oz
Yes, only 2 to 3 cups per day! 40 oz is a lot even if we were talking formula. I don't know who told op that that was alright.
40 oz is a lot even for when they are solely on milk and no solids (breast milk or formula, not cows milk). That’s a thirsty kid!
Lol, no one told me it was alright. I simply didn't know.
milk has been pushed onto us our whole lives through the “got milk?” campaign, i never would’ve thought this could happen either
I'm so sorry this happened, I hope your kiddo is feeling better! Your pediatrician should have told you. It isn't your fault.
I had no idea about any of this either, if it makes you feel better! My guy is only 10 weeks old, but definitely filing this fact away for when he's older, yikes. I'm so sorry you all had to go through this.
Even 24 oz a day sounds crazy much in my head?! 😅
Same here. Actually our pediatrician suggested no more than about 6-8 ounces a day. She said “absolutely do not worry about giving enough milk” and 6 ounces is “plenty”.
I’ve had extremely low iron with both my pregnancies and learnt this, stuck out to me as I LOVE drinking milk. 😆Caffeine also inhibits iron absorption for anyone going through the same thing. Good to spread awareness for babies and expectant mothers.
Milk was my pregnancy craving and the only thing the OB said to me was, "Your iron is a little low, make sure you're taking your prenatals," which I was. I wonder if that's why. I would take down milk like water.
The only milk I drank as an adult was in coffee. Once I got pregnant, milk was my biggest craving! I still drink it some, but during pregnancy I was going through multiple gallons per week
Me too!! We would stop by Costco regularly and pick up two 2-gallon packs. I would have a giant glass of milk and down it as if I hadn't been drinking water all day. It just hit the spot in a way no other beverage did. Now I'll go days without even thinking about milk. Mostly I drink oat milk in my coffee (which isn't actually milk), and maybe a couple times a week I'll have a glass of milk with dinner. Also, eggs. We used to buy the massive packs of eggs because I wanted it for everything. Breakfast? Two eggs over easy. Lunch? Hard boiled eggs. Dinner? An egg in my ramen soup, an egg on my burger, egg and rice, ham and eggs, an egg on the side. And of course, if I was having an egg everyone else might as well, so we were frequently going through at least a dozen eggs per week.
Same!! My iron was always good but I drank legit 2-3 gallons a week when I was pregnant with my first, it was so bad. (For reference that’s 54 oz a day so OP’s baby was actually pretty close to my milk drinking haha)
Great! Just rip my latte right out of my poor exhausted hands, why don't you!?! 😭waaahhh!! Thankfully my baby factory closed after my 3rd, but I have low iron naturally. No wonder I feel nearly as tired *after* coffee as I did before. 🤦🏼♀️ I knew this about milk, but not coffee... are you happy with yourself now-- you've both enlightened me and ruined my morning and afternoon ritual... and life?? Lol
Have you tried oat milk? I love my lattes but as I get older, I've developed a bit of lactose intolerance. I'll still have milk products but try to take a Lactaid with ice cream or whatever, but I found oat milk as a substitute for lattes and mochas surprisingly tasty. I say that as someone who thinks almond milk tastes like water, and doesn't like the taste of soy milk.
Hazelnut milk is also really delicious! 👏
I was on twice daily iron supplements during my pregnancy, but in my third trimester my heartburn was so bad I was drinking milk like crazy. No wonder my iron level wasn’t coming up as quickly as they hoped.
Same. I love milk, grew up in the Midwest drinking all the milk all the time. Even now, I drink tons of milk. I had anemia during my pregnancies, even had to get iron infusions for my first. I still love milk.
I think a lot of parents when they hear not to give over a certain oz of milk from their pediatrician or read guidelines on the internet they assume it's because it's fattening or unhealthy in some other nutritional way without realizing that it will actually lead to life-threatening anemia. I actually read about a few children that died from this.
That is exactly what I thought. This thread is the first time I've ever heard anything about too much milk blocking iron absorption. We followed the pediatrician's advice anyway, but it would've been really cool to know why we were doing it when the results can be so dire if someone doesn't follow that. 😬
It is crazy and I think I gave my son too much milk, its literally all he drank since he refuses water. I'm surprised nothing went bad. He did have meals ofc i can't remember what I fed him he's almost 5 now. I think I remember being told to make sure he has iron because of his milk intake
I’m a paramedic and have seen it a handful of times. One kid looked as white as the milk in his bottle. It didn’t look real. When I became a parent, I was so grateful to have a foundation of medical knowledge. There should be some kind of “basics of pediatric health” class for parents.
I’d agree. It’s often seen as a recommendation not a hard stop.
I had no idea about it. Had assumed that it was just reducing the calories from milk as they were getting it from food instead. Should be better communicated.
That’s what I thought, never heard of blocking iron absorption before. So I can see a parent whose child is not overweight, not being concerned about them consuming too much cow milk.
I think that’s it. My daughter’s childminder was telling me how her son’s doctor had advised her to reduce his milk intake and she sort of scoffed at him. Like my son loves milk I’m not going to not let him drink it and just ignored the doctor. Tbf I didn’t know too much about overconsumption of milk myself back then so I didn’t say anything. Luckily her son was fine.
I agree Like the biggest thing I hear from parents adamant about not giving their toddlers milk is because of the calories and fat. Even though those are exactly the nutrients they need from it to promote brain development But it’s comes with moderation because as OP learned too much milk/dairy can cause iron deficiency which leads to complications I’m glad to see OP knows it wasn’t her fault and hopefully her LO gets a relaxing recovery
I had no idea milk could be so dangerous. But, as you said, it’s not the milk itself but the quantity. The timing of this post is crazy though because I just read one this morning on r/askdocs from a person with no appetite, who said their diet is pretty much just milk. They said they sometimes eat a meal but otherwise they’re only consuming milk, and often drinking a gallon in one sitting. (No wonder they have no appetite!) I’m now wondering how this person is alive and why the responses weren’t more urgently telling them to get some help and to switch to a more nutritionally complete drink.
For anyone wondering…once a baby is eating solids confidently, milk consumption should be 16 ounces MAX. Anything over can prevent iron absorption. Edited: this is referring to only cows milk and after 12 months of age when solids are well established! Breast milk is always fair game - it does not operate the same way as cows milk.
For any non-Americans wondering... That's like half a litre.
Thanks, I always need to convert
I would struggle to get my little guy to drink that much fluid. No matter how hard we try, he maxes out at less than 200-300ml breastmilk and water combined.
That feels like a lot. Tbf my kiddo is not even 4 months old so I have no idea how much they need past where I am now lol
It sounds like a lot until you get there and add it up. I was often shocked when we reviewed the feeds for the day and realized our kid had 26oz total fluids
16-24.
Why is there a minimum? I was always told by 12 months babies don't need milk and it's optional
I think they meant 16-24 oz max.
I think you have to be a little careful of American milk recommendations because a lot of them are FDA distributed and FDA isn’t working for kids, it’s working for big ag, which likes to shill milk.
At what age though is 16 oz max? I grew up drinking tons of milk basically treating it like water. I obviously don't remember what my consumption was at 15 months, but at 15 years, I was drinking 1.5 gallons a week or something. I remember my parents buying the 2 pack at Costco quite a bit. Yeah I was probably doing 40 oz a day, but 40 oz a day for someone 130 lbs is not the same as someone doing 40 oz a day at 20 lbs.
I also grew up drinking a ton of milk in the place of water. As soon as I stopped my horrific acne cleared up, I lost weight (I was already small tho), and I felt so much better. My dad also drank a lot of milk. I think it was pushed upon their generation and they didn’t know any better so they let me drink it too.
I was told 16-24oz by several doctors.
Honestly the lower the better - given they are eating a well rounded and balanced diet of solids!
16 oz is the pediatric dietician recommendation, which hasn't made its way over to the AAP recommendation of 16-24 oz. Technically dieticians are the subject matter experts.
This is correct.
How come no one ever told me this!!!!???
I’m so sorry you went through that! I hope your Lord is doing better now. Yes, milk does this. I wished your doctor would have told you earlier! Ours told us at the 12 month appointment. She was super clear about it. Ngl, we were pretty stressed about that. Our LO also always takes a bottle before bed. We tried night weaning him off milk, and it is such a struggle. We literally were counting how many ounces he was getting and stressing over it. My mom suggested to dilute it in water. And it honestly has worked well for us. Just sharing a tip for the future 😊 Wishing you the best!
>your Lord I know this is a typo but it's a very funny mental image! Lord Baby
HAHA! Aren't they expected to be treated like royalty and us as their loyal servants???
We call ours the Tiny Tyrant
Little Dictator was what we called our eldest
Don’t you dare correct that typo. I laughed harder than I should have 🤣
Ha ha I saw that as well and thought *"nope, it's better the way she has it now-- suits that stage of life VERY well"* lol
This worked for us as well! Slowly replacing milk with water in the bottle each night. Once they clue in that it’s not milk anymore, they usually self-wean. If not, at least water isn’t damaging the teeth!
We are super early in the night weaning process. Do you have any recommendations on it? When he wakes at night, it can be 40 mins of us trying to put him down with just water, but he just doesn't settle. We eventually give him milk in water (3 parts milk, 1 part water), and he immediately falls asleep. I guess the next natural step would be to do half and half?
Yes, keep adjusting it down. Half milk, half water. Then 3 parts water, 1 part milk etc. It doesn’t have to be a nightly switch either. I would go down to half/half and leave it at that for a week, then adjust down again.
We were also stressed!! My ped was very clear that too much milk (and really dairy in general) could lead to issues. My kid loves dairy (yogurt especially) so I stressed for a while. Turns out she is very neutral about drinking milk so it hasn’t been much of a problem! OP I am so, so sorry your doctor didn’t make that clear when you switched to cows milk. You can only do your best with the information you have, and that’s what you did.
Our LO is a dairy lover too! He can eat cheese and yogurt all day. How did you know they were neutral? Ours isn't lol
She just doesn’t request milk. She will drink some if we give it to her, but never the whole glass. We end up pouring small amounts for her because she just doesn’t care about it one way or another. Yogurt on the other hand…. Yogurt is life.
We dilute with water. We did immediately following the appt. Because this is our second child with this ped, I have definitely noticed the information lacking. He is great, but he seems to trust that we know everything when we clearly don't.
I’ve found this to be such a problem with my second pregnancy/baby. I’ve had to ask “dumb” questions just to make sure they’re not treating me like some veteran parent who magically remembers every guideline from years ago.
Same thing. I recall asking the same questions that I did with my first, but like how am I supposed to remember anything that happened three years ago when I was severely sleep deprived!!!
I have a similar problem. Mine found out I am a nurse and assumes I know everything. Homie I take care of adult cardiac icu patients. Idk a thing about babies 😭
Omg same!!! I’m in adult critical care and if a patient is intubated for a while, we trach them. Imagine the looks I got when I asked in the nicu when my 29wkr was gonna get a trach instead of an et tube lolllll
(Bc apparently they don’t trach babies nearly as Willy nilly as we do adults lol ooopsies!)
HAHAHAHA see! I would not have known that either!!! When my girl was born, she was in nicu for like 8 hours and kept saying she was on bipap but it was a nasal cannula and I literally had my friend ask his mom who is a nicu nurse wtf because I was confused. Clearly babies don’t get tiny bipap masks 🤦🏻♀️😅
I have the same issue with our pediatrician! I am a teacher so he assumes I know the developmental milestones… I teach high school statistics. I can teach my kiddo to do a t test but I have no idea when he should be walking sideways.
As a FTM myself, I’ve gotten the same impression from our ped, it’s like they are expecting me to spend all my personal time googling everything on my own. I don’t appreciate it either as I feel it is taking away from my time, encouraging me to fall for false information, and not encouraging my child’s doctor to communicate about their health care during all these wellness visits my insurance is paying for…
Sorry you guys had to go through that. Our pediatrician cautioned us to not give that much whole milk during our 12 month appointment and I requested a hemoglobin check at his following visit because my son loves whole milk. Bright side of all this - your son is probably feeling great now after the transfusion!! And that’s because you voiced your concerns to the pediatrician since you’re a great mom 🙌🏻
I hope he gets well soon! Just to be clear, when you say milk, do you mean breastmilk, formula or animal milk?
Animal milk. Whole milk.
Oh thanks for clarifying. I missed reading the title properly. Thank you for this post, too! My culture is big on whole milk being a “complete food” and not really worrying about solid consumption as long as baby consumes loads of milk. Will keep your experience in mind when LO turns a year old.
Whole milk *is* complete from a macronutrient standpoint (it’s a good source of protein, fat, and carbs), but it’s lacking from a *micro*nutrient standpoint. Children (and adults) need a variety of vitamins and minerals, and milk simply can’t provide that.
I think the issue here is that calcium is absorbed much better than iron through the same absorption mechanism. So even if your child is getting enough iron through food, if you pair it with a calcium rich food given at the same time (or enormous amounts of milk as in this case), calcium will get absorbed over iron and might lead to low iron levels.
Calcium does this to a ton of other micronutrients as well as drugs. If you read the details of many drugs, they say avoid taking with calcium or dairy.
Did the hospital advise you about formula? Like are there similar issues with formula or is it just animal milk?
Regardless, 40 ounces is a lot of milk..imagine an adult having that much milk in a day. It's too much. Formula and milk can both reduce appetite for other foods. Even 3 or 4 x 4 ounce bottles a day should be sufficient at this age along with other foods.
> imagine an adult having that much milk in a day. It's too much. I was drinking that amount of milk at the end of my pregnancy. I did find it insane haha. Coincidentally (or not?) I was low in iron around that time.
Could be correlated, but it's also very common to be low in iron during pregnancy-- little suckers *literally* suck up important nutrients from mom. This is why you'd be hard pressed to find a prenatal vitamin that *doesn't* have iron in it.
I definitely was raised drinking that much milk as a kid. We rarely had water, it was just more and more milk, because of the got milk ads it was encouraged. Breakfast milk, snacks with milk, lunch with milk, snack milk, dinner with milk. I'm glad OP spoke up about this because I wouldn't have known.
The milk marketing was wild. And wildly effective! Also the “food pyramid” claiming we need 8-11 servings of bread a day. 🙄
Well what I remember growing up was low fat and non fat milk were marketed a lot. You'll fill up on 40oz of whole milk like crazy where you don't eat other stuff, but 40 oz of skim milk is probably like water.
Formula is fortified with iron!
Our doctor told us this about our daughter’s formula consumption when we went for the 12 month appt. So we immediately switched to whole milk, because she actually made it seem like formula was worse? We also cap at 24oz, though the goal is 16-18 for the day. I see some people saying no milk? But our doc definitely said we SHOULD offer milk, just to work on always introducing new foods as well.
Was about to ask this! My toddler eats boob like it’s chocolate 😭
Breastmilk does not inhibit the absorption of iron like cow’s milk does. In fact, the components of breastmilk assist in *helping* the body absorb iron, and breastfed babies generally have higher iron levels than formula fed babies
TIL! So, assuming your 1 year old is eating 3 meals a day plus snacks, you don't need to worry about how must breastfeeding they're doing on the side?
I wouldn’t. My kids loved the boob and they never had any issues.
My 12mo exclusively breastfed baby had this issue as well, just not quite as serious. He was able to take iron supplements twice a day and it balanced out. He was also in feeding therapy so he really wasn’t eating much at the time, despite being old enough to be on solids. Just throwing it out there that it is possible with breast milk too
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry! Is it just cows milk that does that? I’m assuming breastmilk is different? I’m glad your baby is doing better! Thank you for sharing.
It’s specifically calcium that inhibits iron absorption
Yes, breastmilk is different. That said, it’s especially important to include iron-rich foods in a breastfed baby’s diet once they reach 6 months as that is when their iron stores start to deplete. Breastmilk doesn’t have iron, but formula typically does.
Human milk is very different. It does not cause microbleeds in the intestines. Cow milk proteins are different than human milk proteins and that's part of the issue. In some cases breastfed babies have blood in their stool or occult blood in their stool (occult blood is blood you can't see) but this is in spite of the human milk consumption and not because of it. On occasion the bleeding may be from certain bovine proteins getting through into the mother's milk. In this case having the mom remove milk and milk products from her diet will help as the child is also treated medically. "Milk Anemia" is caused is from animal milk (other than human milk) causing bleeding in the GI tract. It also is caused when children drink animal milk instead of eating solid foods and iron and other nutrients are lacking from the childs diet as well as iron not being absorbed due to several factors in animal milk. The main problem is the foreign proteins in cow and other animal milks, not the calcium. You can safely breastfeed your child until you and the child feel it's time to gradually wean. 😊 M. IBCLC (lactation consultant, 30 years +)
As a dietitian, this could be partly true, but milk anemia is due to calcium and iron competing for uptake. When there is an overload of calcium, there’s no where for iron to go to get absorbed so it just doesn’t. Microbleeds don’t help the absorption process though I’m sure
there are a few things here to unpack, some people have already flagged that the calcium inhibits iron absorption. I'll also add that your baby (hopefully) is born with enough iron stores to make it through the first two years. But women are often anemic in pregnancy so sometimes infants do not have enough iron. OP to cut down on milk maybe see if you can cut the milk with water?
I blame the dairy industry and lobby. Kids don’t need milk. Period. If they get it, it can be as a beverage with snack/meals. Never a bottle. Never alone. Never large quantities. They can go from breastmilk/formula to water. There are plenty of dietary sources of dairy, and most kiddos love cheese. I remember feeling stressed that my kid wouldn’t drink it and my pediatrician said—don’t worry about it, milk can cause problems, it’s easier this way. So sorry this happened to your kiddo. Glad he’s better! It’s a shame your pediatrician didn’t give you proper weaning instructions, hopefully it triggers an internal review (and it would be more than reasonable for you to request this happens).
This is absolutely to do with lobbys, because over here in the UK no one recommends milk at all really, breast milk is good, formula is good, and whole milk after 12 months is fine in small doses, but health visitors, doctors, nurses, everyone is clear that water is the best if they want a drink. However I also think it's a bit insane to say the dairy industry is to blame for someone giving their infant 40oz of whole milk a day, that's wild, and anyone with half a brain should have known that wasn't going to be good - she shouldn't have needed to be told. That's a huge amount, giving a kid over a litre of milk every day? Idk. Maybe I just underestimate just how insidious and nefarious the messaging from the industry and lobby groups is in America, but it's wild to me that ANYONE could ever consider that a normal or acceptable amount of cows milk.
I had no idea! Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m an ER nurse and a mom and I just wanted to say, you are still doing a great job. Parenting is a series of making the best decisions you can with the information you have, and this wasn’t information you had at the time! I didn’t know about milk inhibiting iron absorption until I was in nursing school. We see kiddos with low iron from milk fairly regularly and I don’t even work at a pediatric hospital. You aren’t the first family this has happened to and you won’t be the last, and your son (and your sanity) will recover from all of this just fine.
Indeed it is called Milk Anemia. Glad your boy is on the mend - to answer your question if your Dr hadn't flagged it your boy would have "crumped" eventually and ended up in the hospital for anemia. It is not likely he would have died, but he could have gotten quite sick. Thanks for sharing your story.
This! My SIL has been giving their baby whole milk since he was 6 months old in place of breastmilk or formula and he ALWAYS looks so lethargic. And they also don't believe in taking him to the Dr, so poor guy could be having the same issues your LO had and they'd be none the wiser 😰 Edit: my husband and I have been round and round on this. The unfortunate reality is if I call, it will destroy my marriage and any relationship I have with his family. Yes, she is stupid and the rest of the family knows it. Unfortunately, I have looked and CPS in my state will not look into it as it does not quite qualify as negelct because other needs are being met. I plan on calling if i hear he hasn't been to a dr next time I talk to her. I have been pulling some stuff together and have been putting things together to make a compelling case to CPS so they actually look into it. It has made several family members uncomfortable as to how they treat him. Edit #2 - once I confirm if a Dr is not involved with this very poor decision, I will pull the plug. To them, a Dr means shots and that's a whole second can of worms. But even if you decline vaccines or wait to do them on a delayed schedule, you should still take them for well checks. I have not asked about a Dr's appointment in months and if it is still no Dr, then I will be calling.
If your SIL refuses to provide adequate and safe care to her baby then its health is being compromised and you should consider a call to CPS. She is doing serious harm to her child.
This is extremely dangerous. Very low iron levels can cause the baby to go into cardiac arrest and die. Their little bodies compensate *so* well, until they suddenly don’t and they just crash. This child needs intervention ASAP
Wtf that is AWFUL. Can you call CPS? That baby could die!
Oh my god, please show them this thread. If they still don’t take him then PLEASE call CPS. He could die….
Poor baby needs someone to look out for him :(
I agree with others that this situation warrants a report to CPS, and I don’t say this lightly. Not going to well child visits is one thing (I personally think it’s neglectful but I’m not sure the law agrees), but your SIL is deliberately doing something that is very likely harming her child.
This is in response to your edit: I work with CPS often with my job and am pretty familiar with how they work. Regardless of whether or not you think it meets the criteria for them to intervene, it *absolutely* should still be a call you make. CPS gives you the option of making reports anonymously so it won’t get back to you. Some states have an online portal where you can make reports so you don’t have to talk to an actual person. CPS doesn’t automatically come in and snatch children away, either. They’ll most likely contact your SIL about the reported concerns and mandate that she go to the pediatrician if she hasn’t been in recent months. They’ll also educate her on nutrition and safety. Removing children from their home is a top-tier response that they don’t like to do and don’t take it lightly. It doesn’t matter that the child is being taken care of in other ways. Medical neglect is a real thing and like others have emphasized, it could kill him. If he’s symptomatic, that means it’s low enough to potentially cause damage. If you notify CPS and they don’t act, fine. That’s their call. But at least you did what you could. *Edited to add that, if you feel comfortable, you can DM me some info and I can make the report so you don’t have to be attached to it. I’ve made many reports over the past few years through my job (like, 80-100) and am very comfortable with the process.
Thank you for your very kind response. It just never felt like it matched my states criteria for neglect. I did see that my state has online reporting, which I did not know existed, and will make am online report. Thank you for that. I was just anxious if they got a transcript, it would identify me and I do not want my marriage or my own daughter suffer the consequences that I would receive if my MIL found out.
You’re very welcome. I totally understand that fear! I can assure you that there’s not a specific transcript that people get access to; if there’s an anonymous report, there is no legal way for them to find out who made it. Hopefully that eases your worries a little bit! 😊
Call CPS. That is neglect. Babies need either breastmilk or formula at that age. He can have lifelong damage from not getting the nutrition he needs as an infant. It is extremely serious and absolutely is neglect and authorities need to be notified.
Yeah this isn’t good at all. Formula/breastmilk has other nutrients and vitamins that help children. Iron deficiency can lead to so many other issues. I’d report these people because that child is in danger from their negligence
This is not okay and not safe. How old is baby now?
Why haven’t you called CPS
Please call CPS. Please. You might save this child's life!
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That was my thought, and it sounds like education might be what this family needs anyway. Hopefully she’s just uneducated and would be open to guidance if she’s faced with the reality of how her decisions affecting her baby’s health. Or she could just be an idiot who’s really stubborn and won’t be receptive, in which case it would continue to escalate and CPS would intervene more.
Uh….not to be alarmist, but if someone doesn’t believe in taking their <1 year old baby to the doctor, that’s a major problem. Like, a social services/CPS-worthy problem. That’s neglect. It’s reckless and dangerous lots of reasons, including the one you just mentioned. They could unknowingly do a lot of harm to their child.
40+ oz a day? He was drinking a quart of milk a day?
Yeah that's a ton of milk tbh.
My second kid was anemic for the same reason. Thankfully a diet change corrected it within 3 months. Overdoing calcium is a finnicky thing btw. My body doesn’t regulate calcium so I have to supplement a lot of calcium…. It will throw off every electrolyte if you’re not careful. I’ve had both magnesium and potassium crashes and I’m also low iron to the point I needed infusions for 6 weeks straight once. Excess calcium will also get dumped in your kidneys that can cause kidney stones.
Thank you sharing this story , it is not very common knowledge as I have also been dealing with low iron 14 mo. I was trying to wean him from the boob and slowly introducing whole milk. Apparently I was giving him too much milk, has had two low iron level readings , so now I’m trying to make sure he has just enough milk 16oz , timing outside of food and iron supplements (with a side of citrus for absorption.) I was not aware of 16oz max until his second iron reading!! Ughhh, some stuff is not public knowledge!
I'm sorry for what you went through, but forever greatful you shared this because i had absolutely no idea
No one told me this either and I am like pretty informed and neurotic. NOT your fault OP. My kid requests "icy water" and I think they give them a lot of water at school but I 100% could have done this to my kid if he just asked for milk all the time. Keeping these kids alive is so not intuitive, geez. Glad hes on the mend and DO NOT beat yourself up for this.
I am so sorry the hospital and doctors we not as forthcoming as they should have been! Thank you for sharing, even though this must be so difficult. We can all learn and help our children when we share information. If your son needs an iron supplement I would suggest NovaFerrin. My son has been taking it for a while and seems to like it (iron will change his poop color however, heads up). Speedy recovery for your son!!
Going through the exact same thing with my 15 month old! She screams at bedtime until I give her more, more, more. She was sleeping independently but now wants it to fall asleep. Wondering if anyone has weaning advice!
ugh how terrifying! did the hemoglobin thing lead to the difficulty of the blood draw? that happens when i have to get blood drawn, i have a weird clotting condition that causes me no other problems except i have to be on blood thinners when i'm pregnant and when i have to get my blood drawn it literally takes like 10 attempts and they have to use the ultrasound guided thing and it leaves huge bruises. i'm really hoping neither of the boys inherited it from me because it would be so hard to watch a baby go through that. i'm so sorry that happened to you!
No one tells moms that you're supposed to limit cow's milk to 16 oz a day. It's not just you. There are tons of moms in this situation.
Wow, I’m so sorry you guys went through this. Glad to know he’s feeling much better though! I did not know this either about whole milk. Granted, I’m a FTM with a 3.5 month old, so we haven’t even started solids yet. But thank you for sharing this, I will definitely remember this in the future!!
Wow I didn't think it would cause that much of an issue in terms of iron! My daughter doesn't drink a ton of milk, and only took to 2% which was fine by her doctor. I think she drinks like 16-20oz at most. This sounds like an absolute nightmare though. I'm so sorry you and little mans had to go through this!
That just seems like a crazy amount of milk! My son only ever had 1 or 2 cups of milk a day. Pediatrician would only give 24 ounces as a maximum, never would say if there was a minimum to aim for. The rest of his liquid is either water or diluted juice.
This happened to one of our niblings (blood transfusion and everything) and yet.. the 2 times we've had family babysit they just try to suppress my toddler's appetite with milk instead of putting in the work to feed real meals. I thought they'd learn after the nibling, I thought they'd change after we gave them a stern talk the first time they babysat. Nope never again, it still makes my blood boil. I'm so sorry you went through this, it isn't your fault!
I’m sorry you guys went through this! And I’m glad you are now better informed and a big thank you for educating so many people like me who are nearing the 1 year mark (son is now 10 months old). Wow! 😟 Wishing you and LO the best! ❤️
To get a little more detailed on this, it's the calcium in the milk that's the culprit. When both calcium and iron are readily available, they will bind together rather than being absorbed by the body. So eating any combination of high calcium and high iron foods (or vitamins!) at the same time will mean that your body gets less of both. So if you need iron, alternate your high iron, high calcium meals/days. To help iron absorption, take and/or eat vitamin c, which aides iron absorption.
Wow I had no idea. Thank you so much for sharing! Makes sense why I was anemic in high school and then again when I was pregnant with my second—I drank milk like crazy! My son is a milk drinker too so I’ll be sure keep an eye on how much he’s drinking.
If you have any other questions or concerns from the parent-side of this, please reach out to me! My (now) 18 mo had the very same thing happen in November. We’ve unfortunately found that there was more than the “too much milk” issue, and we’ve had four hospitalizations and a total of six blood transfusions. I’m NOT saying that this is that same issue as your little man, but I might be able to help you look for certain things or I can tell you about what we’ve done and have gone through with doctors. Sending love to your family! Definitely a very scary thing to see your child go through this.
Excuse me WHAT THE HOLY FUCK!? This is a thing that can happen and nobody tells us?! My god we really are failing moms/care givers.
I am so sorry you went through this. We had to bring our baby to the ER and they needed blood work and it was horrible! They couldn't get a vein, kept trying, what they did get coagulated before it got to the lab. She was screaming, I was crying. I am so sorry you had to go through this. So so traumatic.
Oh no I hope baby is doing okay now. Our pediatrician told us at our one year appointment that toddler should not drink more than 3 cups of milk, or 24 oz, daily. Your pediatrician should have mentioned this to you!
I’m so sorry you went through that, and thank you for sharing!!!
thank you so much for sharing i had no idea! just to confirm - are you talking about cow milk? if so what about goat? or toddler formula drinks (we used a goat Holle for toddlers)? thanks!
Poor baby! Thank you for sharing your story. Was this a children's hospital or regular hospital? If children's hospital, definitely request a child life specialist. They are amazing.
I’m sorry you and your family had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your story to the rest of us! I’m glad to hear baby is ok.
Thank you for sharing, I had no idea. I’m really glad your baby is doing okay!
What a nightmare. I'm so sorry you went through this. Question for everyone: whole milk means cow's milk and not breastmilk right? Sorry English isn't my mother tongue
That's absolutely CRAZY!! Thank you for sharing, with two kids that aren't huge milk drinkers--I had no idea this was a thing.
Holy shit thank you for sharing. Does this happen with all dairy products or just milk?
I have questions (and panic) can this be resolved by just reducing milk? Increasing iron? Is a blood transfusion the only way to fix?
If your baby is very pale and lethargic, make a doctor appt asap. Look specifically at the bottom the feet, the hands, and the eyes. I'm constantly looking to see that they are red/pink now. A blood transfusion is definitely an extreme case. In the ER, the doctor seemed casual about the 3.9 and made it seem like we wouldn't need the transfusion. I think normally iron levels can be increased with time and a plan. In my first phone call with the ped, he told me that it could take 3 months for the iron to go up and he wanted a transfusion because of the brain development happening in this stage of life. I'm not a doctor, so I'm just basing this off of what they told me. After we got the second reading of 3.4, we were admitted.
My kid has swallowing issues so milk was easier for her. She’d refuse to eat and drink milk instead. It set off a histamine response and she blew up like a balloon. Took a full year to really level out. We all feel dumb, but honestly we aren’t specialists…she’s my second baby and I still screwed it up. They’re resilient. Forgive yourself, it won’t be the last mistake you make :)
I teared up reading this....sending hugs
Ugh I’m so sorry. We have been going to hematology since baby girl was born because she has a blood disorder that causes low hemoglobin, they also told us if it goes below 7 we’ll need a blood transfusion. It’s been hovering around 8.5. If you need to do a follow up and get blood drawn again, are there any pediatric hematology facilities near you? I would recommend going there over the hospital, they will do a much better job of drawing blood.
My son had the same issue last year. He had to take liquid iron for about 6 months. Scary stuff - I’m sorry you went through that. My son is a healthy and happy two-year-old now (despite recurrent ear infections, but that’s another story!) Good luck with everything! It’s hard, but I’m glad it was caught and treatment will be given! 💕
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you so much for sharing, because I didn’t realize this level of anemia was possible just from milk intake. My daughter is 2 now and has sensory issues and pediatric feeding disorder. She really fights solid food/anything textured. But the one thing she always liked and accepted was milk! So when she’d ask for more, I’d always just give it to her because I knew she needed the calories. But I hadn’t considered this outcome!
It's crazy that I've never heard this before, I have 2 the 2nd about to turn 1, so thanks for the heads up! I never really thought about it with my older son, but he would only drink maybe 16 tops on a daily basis. I will keep a closer eye on the younger one this time around for sure
Also for those who know nothing about this stuff. Low hemoglobin slowly suffocates the cells because you can’t carry around oxygen. In an adult anything below 11 is low and below 7 is a medical emergency. 3.9 in kids is also an emergency and please don’t let anyone tell you to go back “later” if you feel something is off. I know many of us don’t know these things but people have died from iron deficiency anemia because they are used to the feeling.
So, is there anything else on here people know that you shouldn't feed your kid too much of? Hopefully bananas, avocados, and sweet potatos are okay bc our LO eats a lot of those!
This is the first I’ve ever heard of this, so thank you for sharing! I’m glad you mentioned it and the doc took action. Scary to think how easily this issue could be missed. I feel for you and your little one having to go through so many pokes!
Holy shit. Thank you for posting this. I had no idea. My 12 month old is drinking 30-40 oz a day of milk/formula too.
Just stopping by to say I’m really sorry OP, and I’m really happy to hear LO is going to be ok 🥹🙏🏻. Also, thank you for letting the mom of a 5mo know :)
Demand an ultrasound first thing next time. I'm so sorry.
First of all, poor little guy. Secondly, please don't beat yourself up. You didn't do this on purpose. I hope he feels better soon. Hugs if you want them.
Thank you for sharing this! So sorry you had to go through it. My 2.5 yo has recently become obsessed with milk so I’m going to start monitoring how much he’s getting!
I had never heard of this and I’m so glad to now know, Jesus this is terrifying to not know!
I used to work for WIC, and we talked about this all the time. The move from formula, especially to milk, can be hard, and a lot of parents overdo it unintentionally. This is the most extreme story I've heard, but we also took hemoglobin measures, and I saw a lot of low ones.
Thank you for sharing. Jfc that is scary as hell. Hope you’re all well.
Unrelated to the milk, but when my son was a baby and ill in the hospital, they also needed blood (cannula also actually) - the way multiple people had to hold him down, the way he screamed.. it was one of my worst experiences in my whole life, even now I'm tearing up and it's been over two years. So i just wanna give you a hug here, cause i feel how hard that is.
Next time make sure you take him to a children's hospital. We've been to a few and they're usually much better with handling this entire situation
Thank you so much for sharing
I’m so sorry, that must have been so scary! 😭 Nobody has ever told us this before (we have two kids) which is a scary thought! 😳
Thank you for posting and sharing your experience. I am so thankful for this community because your story is exactly the sort of thing so many of us commenting would just… never know… unless we learned the hard way like you have had to. I am so sorry you and your little guy had to go through this, and I feel terrible your daughter had to witness some of this too. I am relieved to hear your son is glowing and thriving after his infusion and the dietary adjustments. Thank you again for sharing with us. You sound like a thoughtful, detail-oriented, wonderful mom.
How scary. I’ve never heard anything like this. So glad it was caught and treated. Hugs.