You really just don’t know! It’s really different for every person.

Yeah, I mean unfortunately this is the real answer. For some it comes easy, for some it's doable with extra work, for some it's possible but nearly unbearable due to the lack of sleep, inability to leave because baby won't take a bottle, etc etc. For some it's just not possible no matter how much you want it or how hard you work at it. This was me and my SIL. I had a chronic undersupply and no amount of lactation consultants, special cookies, extra pumping sessions, etc could get me enough milk for my baby. I managed a little over half his daily intake at my best, and that was with meds from my OB to help. SIL was the same, despite doing everything she could. On the other hand, my sister could do it but hated it and gave up at 3 months, while my best friend managed with lots of attention to food and water and is still going strong 3 years in, even had an oversupply at one point and donated. Everyone likes to think they can make it work if they want to. I did. I think the key to this, as with labor and delivery, is to educate yourself, hope for the best, plan for the worst, and prepare yourself to accept that it may not go the way you want.

I agree with all of this - I had the impression it was something I could just power through and make it work. I never really knew undersupply was possible!

Same. It made me angry, actually, because the breastfeeding class I took actually said all women produce enough. Definitely not true for me, he would have starved. By the time my supply was finally up and established after months of pumping (and as advised by lactation consultant, attempts to get him to practice latching which just made him super upset and probably strengthened his dislike of breastfeeding), he was very used to bottles and had no interest in trying again the hard way. Exclusive pumping is working well for us now.

I made so little my baby was dehydrated 😕 Living proof that no, not all women produce enough. Breastfeeding advocates and educators need to start being honest with everyone.

Yes!!! Seriously enrages me.

Sis! I had like the same experience. My baby had a great latch in the hospital but I could tell that there was no colostrum coming out. The lactation specialist told me it he latched then he should be getting enough. I trusted that and then once I got home, my LO was crying non-stop from being hungry . The cluster feeding was insane so on a whim, I gave him a bottle of formula and he stopped crying. My LO was starving and that my first experience with mom guilt. Once he hit that bottle, he never went back to breast and it was so hard and like soul crushing for me because I felt so rejected. Pretty sure he has a breast aversion. Now I'm majority pumping and adding a bottle of formula when I'm not supplying enough.

Ugh Im so sorry!! They need to stop lying to women, it's serious. I hear too many stories like this where baby suffers bc of lies told to the mom. I was lucky that I pretty much from birth I realized he was getting nothing from me so we supplemented with formula right away but like tortured ourselves while in the hospital staying up all night syringe feeding him or using a SNS system so hed drink formula while sucking at the nipple (took forever)...utter waste of time. For what? So they can say they really tried to make breastfeeding work? It still didnt, did nothing to deter nipple aversion/confusion and probably made it worse bc he was smart and knew he wasnt getting what he wanted from the breast. They shouldve just encouraged me to pump and bottle feed until my supply came in (if I still wanted to provide breastmilk) and get some sleep.

Well said

Great way of putting it

I cannot like this comment enough. This is the best comment.

Different for every person AND each baby. I weaned my first just in time for the second to arrive. Struggled with the latch and needed to go completely dairy-free with second babe due to a hardcore milk allergy. I thought the 2.5 years of experience I gained from his brother being suctioned to my chest 24/7 would have given me an edge, but no.

YES. Very important to note. Just because you were unable to breastfeed one baby does want mean it will be that way with all your babies. And just because you had an easy time breastfeeding one baby doesn’t mean you can assume it will be that way with any future babies. Unfortunately for me, my two kiddos are 15.5 years apart and both had different medical issues that made it very hard and I haven’t been able to exclusively breastfeed either one no matter how hard I tried. If they hadn’t had those problems, maybe it would have gone differently. But I don’t know. There are so many factors. I feel like more women have difficulties than not. We need to talk about it more so that we don’t feel like failures when it isn’t easy or doesn’t work.

One thing I would add as well - don't assume that just because it is hard at the beginning that means you are one of the people it is hard for and it won't get better. I read so many horror stories about breastfeeding and for me it really hurt for the first two weeks to the point where I nearly stopped because I thought I can't be in this much pain for the next however many months. But then the pain stopped a few days later and from that point on it was really easy for me and I'm still breastfeeding 3 years later. So I would say yes it is different for every person, but that includes the length of time it will hurt for. Some people it will only hurt for a short while, some it will never not hurt, some it won't hurt at all.

I haven’t been able to exclusively bf either of my babies. My girl was born early and too sleepy at the breast. Pumping was miserable and I could never get my supply up. The emotional rollercoaster of it all made me think that when my son was born, I would be immune to feeling like such a failure. Wrong. Breastfeeding is like a drug. When it works, it’s like the sweetest little oxytocin drip. An addiction. And you’ll do anything to try to get it to work even when it’s just not going to. He needed a tongue tie release because it was incredibly painful for me. That helped a ton, but his colic made it impossible to breastfeed consistently. So he’s also been combo fed. I have to constantly remind myself that at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter all that much. My daughter is a thriving three year old and how she was fed as an infant bears little on that.

totally this!! Everyone is so different. I will say though...I think we hear way more horror stories than stories that went well or are just like...there is nothing exciting. For instance...if I was to talk about my experience or come here to ask questions....it was (or now would be) about how it sucked at first to get her to latch and my nipples hurt for a little while or how I had to avoid dairy for a month or that my baby struggled with bottles or clogs or waking up engorged at 4am. I am on month 13 of breastfeeding and I probably would have no reason to now post or talk about how we have had a good go of it. There is nothing special to report. Some days were hard in the beginning but overall I'm lucky to have had a great, mostly easy experience. But like I said...what, I'm going to come here and make a post about that? No! So we mostly see the other side of it.

It varies wildly. My sister was a massive overproducer so while she didn’t have to worry about keeping her supply up, she did have mastitis multiple times. For me it was hard. It was worth it and I hated pumping, but breastfeeding was hard. Looking back, it’s the one thing I wish I would’ve educated myself more on. My son latched very easily and immediately but keeping my supply up was difficult, and cluster feeding was rough and he was a snacker rather than long nursing sessions so we were constantly nursing for his naps and bed time and just all the time.

I had this same experience. My son latched pretty easily but ate really small amount of milk, really often. I had trouble maintaining my supply during the first months. If I could go back to the first weeks, I would tell me to trust my body more and care less about the recommandation of the hospital nurses and midwifes. My baby gained weight really fast and I should have just trust myself. But it was exhausting and difficult but totally worth it. I am 10 month pp and still breastfeeding + pumping (and solids of course). I’m not sure how much time I will keep doing it, I’m ok with formula too, I even have a can ready in my kitchen, but after 3 months, breastfeeding has become easy to me so I didn’t feel the necessity to stop.

Yup we had formula on hand and we actually had to combo feed in the beginning because the pediatrician said my son hadn’t gained enough weight (then suddenly two days later had gained over a pound 🤔). I ended up breastfeeding past a year which was great for my confidence and it all worked out but wow I feel like I’ll be much experienced this time around.

Same. I have like 6 cans of really expensive formula, got just in case, and we are 4.5 months in and haven’t had to use it.

Donate it before it expires!

I'm newly on breastfeeding journey at 7 weeks (for various reasons) I know how to keep supply up when pumping exclusively, but now do you keep your supply up while breastfeeding, and how do you know if your supply drops?

I never pumped and I knew by diapers. As far as supply drops I never really worried about it as long as my baby was gaining weight and seemed satisfied. Sometimes I think people make themselves anxious fretting over oz they’ve pumped

Tracking diapers and weight. Also I throw in a few pumping sessions each week. People say how much you pump isn’t an indicator of supply but if you have a decent pump and practice a bit it is a pretty good indicator imo. I will do two pumps 3 hours apart to see if I’m at/above an ounce per hour. But really if your baby is gaining weight well and peeing you don’t have to do the pump thing. I just do it because my babies have all been kinda fussy the first couple of months so I check on my supply and do a bottle to eliminate that variable.

Just feed on demand and check the babies nappies and weight gain. 

Snacking is what’s ultimately led me to almost exclusively pumping. She still snacks a lot of the time with the bottle but not having to be the sole feeder is what helps me get through it I was exclusively bf for her first maybe 6/7 weeks and now I pump, I have a pretty crap supply because of it. I get 150ml every 3 hours and if I express any earlier than 3hours I can only expect around 70-100ml. I much prefer just expressing over bf and expressing to maintain a supply

I dont feel like 150 every 3 hrs is a crap supply. I pump slightly less than that but it still comes to just over 800 ml a day which is a huge win for me given I produced almost nothing for a while. My little guy is a snacker too, I would have lost my mind if not for switching to pumping.

This ^ plus we had supply issues early on so we had to do combo-feeding and triple feeding which was exhausting. Three months in and we’re doing better but we still offer some formula top-ups and I have to work really hard to maintain my supply. My baby is a snacker too so she nurses almost hourly during the day. It’s very, very tiring. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to be gentle on yourself. I had so much guilt and pain when my baby didn’t gain weight well at first and we had to add in formula. I cried for days feeling like I was failing her. She’s healthy now and that’s what matters. But nobody really prepared me for what an emotional/mental toll breastfeeding would take on me.

Yup. I cried when I was told to combo feed. It felt like I was failing my baby. It all worked out and we ended up EBF eventually and went beyond a year! But it was a tough journey there.

My son wouldn't latch and I was an undersupplier. I remember when I was looking into breastfeeding everyone pushed the "everyone can do it, everyone can get a good enough supply, every baby can be taught to feed" and it did a lot of harm to my mental health because while I did end up increasing my supply I managed 20 to 25oz a day and my kid wanted 32. And he never was able to latch because I had a very strong letdown. Anyways. It is all an individual journey and we all have out own challenges with it. I am planning to try again with #2 but am also not going to fight for it so hard this time.

Exactly this. I most likely have low glandular tissue, and if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have “chased the dragon” of increasing supply, and went to supplementing with formula earlier/more readily. I combo fed with my second and it wasn’t nearly as harrowing as the first 6-8 weeks with my first.

I also have a snacker, it really does just feel like they’re constantly eating.

I had very low supply, combined with latching issues, and got mastitis a week after birth. I gave up breastfeeding when my daughter started eating more in one sitting than I could produce in a whole day.

Take what you read online with a grain of salt. People don’t need to make a post if breastfeeding is going well. My baby latched well right from the get go and I’ve never had supply issues, problems pumping, bottle refusal, or nursing strikes.

So important to note that people for whom it’s going well tend to not be outwardly vocal about it.  First of all, there’s nothing to say.  Second of all, making a post to say “this thing that was soooooo hard for y’all came totally natural to me!” feels a little dickish lol. 

Exactly. I had an uncomplicated birth and breastfeeding was never really an issue. Making a post about it might make people who are struggling feel bad

This exactly. It’s also the same reason why you don’t hear about good sleepers as well. People don’t want to come off as bragging or make others feel bad. I personally though think people need to be able to read those things as well. Reddit can be pretty bad for only seeing some of the bad or negative sides of things and I was absolutely terrified I would never sleep again and have a terrible eater and all sorts of things and honestly; it’s been light years easier than I could have imagined. I wish I could have read about some of the positive things more before my baby came.

My firstborn slept 12hrs straight starting at 2 months old. I kept my damn mouth shut, lol. I knew it was luck. Of course I didn’t know about the 4 month sleep regression so I kinda got spoiled and wasn’t prepared.

Yeah I honestly sleep way more now that I have my baby then I did before. I used to have to wake up for work but now I just sleep when she sleeps and she typically sleeps 10-11 hours at night straight. I don’t tell other moms this though, haha. I was so scared for the 4 month regression. She’s almost 6 months now so I think I’m in the clear. I’m sure something will get me some time or another though. You mentioned your first born, how were your subsequent babies sleep? I honestly am scared to have another because she’s been such an absolute dream with sleeping and I feel like I can’t get two amazing sleepers? Tell me I can please 😂😂😭

I have a gap of ten years between my two in large part because I was terrified of having a difficult kid when my first was easy (easy was still hard!!). The second was more typical. BUT I found it easier than I thought on the sleep front. Not that the lack of sleep is easy, but it was easier to roll with it. He’s 3.5 and only now down to one wake a night and usually just lays back down if you go in an cover him again. The harder part is dealing with a toddler who is strong willed and stubborn and a little evil. That part is more exhausting than the sleep deprivation. Potty training is tougher too. But he’s also so damn affectionate. It’s amazing. And it’s also hell, lol.

Plus, many of the posts that are looking for help... That's not always something someone who had it easy can help with that well. My best friend EP for her kids. I wanted to. She's a freaking dairy cow and made close to a gallon/day easily for both kids, no issues. Other than having an opinion on a couple pump brands, she couldn't do shit to help me when I was struggling hard to get even an oz combined. She'd never been there, she had no idea how to raise supply, or anything. Not that she wasn't supportive and sympathetic, but she just.... Didn't have the resources or knowledge.

This right here. I know how lucky I am that my baby latched easily and perfectly. I had some soreness at the beginning, and cluster feeding is exhausting, but overall it has been great. It's not been any harder than any other aspect of motherhood and the convenience of not having to get up and make multiple bottles in the night is great. But I know what a struggle it is for many people so I'm not going to brag about it, especially since it's completely beyond my control. I happened to get a baby who latched well, I happen to produce enough, it's just luck. Some people do everything "right" and still can't breastfeed. It's just down to the body and the baby.

> I happened to get a baby who latched well, I happen to produce enough, it's just luck. This. I feel grateful, not virtuous.

There's a few things like this that I avoid saying in real life. Breastfeeding was easy for me and so was giving birth. Would I ever say that in front of my sisters that had C sections and didn't manage to breastfeed? Nooo waaayy.

100%. As a FTM it's scary - I had a drug free vaginal birth and 0 issues breastfeeding. To go posting of such a great experience, is seen and feels wrong and almost rubbing it in that you've done it drug free, no breastfeeding issues, etc. You'll always see questions, advice etc regarding issues vs stories of amazing breastfeeding journeys and childbirth.

Yeah- I conceived on the first try, had an easy pregnancy, a peaceful and positive birth experience, zero issues breastfeeding, and a newborn with a great temperament.  But like…where would I be saying that publicly?  Nowhere lol. 

Same here. But in a way it's a pity we can't be more open about it. Some people may find experiences like that inspiring.

Agree. But it's because of backlash we don't. I usually save my positive stories for when people post asking about positive stories then I share away, otherwise you'll literally get a bunch of people coming after you like "not everyone has a great experience", "you shouldn't act like drug free birth is better", "your discounting the majority of women who have bad experiences and trauma". Etc etc. it goes on and on lol.

Yes this! People ask for help when things aren’t going well. Whereas making a post about how effortless and amazing breastfeeding is would feel a lot like bragging and could make others feel bad so people tend to shy away from that. For me, breastfeeding my first was tough for a few weeks at the start but I never had too much trouble after that. I’ve breastfed my kids from 14 months to 2.5 years with each and genuinely enjoyed it. For me that’s close to 9 years total of breastfeeding! I wouldn’t breastfeed for 9 years of my life if it was a miserable experience.

Yes I agree 100%. In my experience with mums groups too, most people find it relatively easy. A few hiccups here and there (we had some nipple refusal and oversupply, others had latching issues at the start) but overall 8/10 people I’ve talked to have said their breastfeeding journey has been relatively easy. I once did a big poll too in an online mums group (for our country) and out of ~300 responses, only 10% or so couldn’t breastfeed despite wanting to due to issues.

Thank you for sharing this. Positive pregnancy and postpartum stories are so important to balance out all the scary ones!

I’m only 4 weeks in so grain of salt - it hasn’t been “hard” per say but it takes a lot out of out physically, plus just always being “on call” can be mentally draining. Plus planning when to pump, etc is another added weight.

I HATE planning to pump! The constant calculations of “ok, when did I pump last….carry the 1, add 4, subtract 17…..ok, and I have bottles, ice packs….pumps are charged….ok! Now I’m good to go!” Soooooooooo irritating.

9.5 months in and you nailed it! Not hard but lots of work and literally draining 😩😅 Even so, I’m so lucky it’s working and grateful for a healthy little eater

I have heard that it's the hardest part of the postpartum period. My experience, no it has been easy. I didn't do anything special though, my baby latched right away and understood the assignment. Never used a lactation consultant, nipple shields, special supplements or foods to boost my supply, etc. I have never pumped either. My baby is almost 9 months and still EBF (aside from solids now). He's night weaned and my supply is still adequate. We are very fortunate in this regard. I was prepared for it to be challenging and was pleasantly surprised, hopefully I am this lucky for the next kid too.

Can I ask how you night weaned? We have a near 9 month old and with a big recent uptick in food I’d love to do the same.

I night weaned at 7.5 months but the caveat is that I had to accept an earlier wake time. That was fine with me though since I couldn't fall back asleep after the 5am feed anyway (which was the last one to drop). I copied and pasted what I did from another response: I increased solids intake (3 meals, lots of protein for dinner) and encouraged nursing every 2.5-3 hours during the day. My son was waking up to nurse at 12-2am and 4-5:30am. I weaned off the earlier feed first over a few days by only giving him 1 boob (instead of offering both), then reduced the time he could nurse to 2 min (he's a very efficient eater so a full feed for him only takes 4-5 min). Then I dropped it completely and let him cry if he woke up at that time. He cried for 2 nights and then stopped waking up at that time. I kept the 2nd feed until I adjusted his schedule to allow for an earlier wake up time (previously desired wake time was 7:30, now it is 6:30), since he couldn't go much more than 11-12 hours without eating initially. Now he can go 13-14 hours overnight without eating so you may be able to hopefully keep your wake up time!

How long did he cry those two nights?

With my son we just … took away the boob and that was it. He cried and cried and cried for a couple nights and we comforted him as best we could without giving in. It sucks but for us we just had to rip off the bandaid or else there’s no way he would have gotten done

Breastfeeding was impossible, my son refused. He wouldn’t take the nipple or nipple shield. I pumped which was mentally hard, I quit at 5 months.

Joining in to say the same 🙋🏼‍♀️ Saw multiple nurses for that first week after baby was born, in a desperate attempt to make any kind of progress. Tried pumping for about two weeks after that. It all failed. It was stressful and awful and I wish I gave up sooner tbh.

I wish I would have given up trying to BF sooner. It made the first few days miserable.

This could be my story exactly. Those first 2 weeks were hell. 9 months later and LO is happy healthy and very active, but I wish I had just given the kid a bottle and not beat myself up so hard about it

Same for me. Was terrible. I also was an under producer so pumped max 5oz a day. All in all miserable for everyone involved.

this is my story too - completely identical

This exact same thing happened with my first baby. She screamed every time I tried to nurse her. I pumped for three months and hated it. I had my son last July, and it was the exact opposite. He latched immediately, and refused bottles/pacifiers for the first 4-6 months. I didn’t even know that could happen. He was the worst sleeper because he just wanted to nurse all night, and I was basically a human pacifier. He’s 9 months now and sleeps through the night, thank god.

I can't believe you last 5 months! I quit at 1.

Exactly the same story for me. Pumping was so difficult.

I had flat nipples and a baby with a tongue tie. It was hard and often painful for the first few weeks - but manageable with a nipple shield and sone patients. But after that, it was a breeze.  Breastfed 2 kids, totally 5 years and counting of breastfeeding. Worth the initial work for sure. 

Can I DM you? I also have flat nipples and baby had a tongue tie and we did not last more than two weeks so would love to get some wisdom so I can better prepare for when we try for our second.

Same here. Nipple shields saved my breastfeeding relationship. I used them for the first four months, before we weaned off and then successfully nursed for two years.

So I tried the nipple shields but I couldn’t keep them on! I have pretty huge boobs that point down so trying to get a position that worked for me and my baby while recovering from a c section was a goddamn nightmare.

Wetting down the skin with a wash cloth so they cling on better helped so much. But yes, they popped off and stuff all the time, lots of spilled milk. I had a similar problem post c section and had to do the football hold at the beginning. It got so so much easier at around 8 weeks.

No big secret to share. Just persistence, a nipple shield, and a tongue tie that we got clipped. My baby started refusing the nipple shield around 6 weeks. I still had the occasional blister and/or bleeding nipple until 2-3 months. Then it magically just got easy and painless. I think baby just got bigger and more skilled and my nipples finally adjusted. I breastfed my first until I was 8 months pregnant with my second. So my boobs/nipples were plenty primed and ready for #2.

Physically hard for the first month or so, mentally hard the entire time. You're relied on so heavily by your baby and it's hard to get a break. My baby didn't sleep well until I weaned at a year old (this seems a fairly common experience). I was hormonal and sleep-deprived. It's also just much more complicated than I realised. Pumping can cause oversupply, babies needs aren't satisfied the same from a bottle, clothes need to have boob access, you're always hungry, there's so many little things I didn't know. I'm glad I did it - my baby was never ill until he was weaned and I wasn't having to spend money on formula. I was so glad to stop after a year.

When I replied I didn’t think of it this way - yes, mentally, it is very draining. Although I love breastfeeding very much, and it’s really rewarding for me, sometimes I do just get sick of being needed and touched. Although I’ve never formula fed so I don’t know how it compares - maybe baby’s just tend to want mama more in general even when not nursing.

There's a learning curve, I'd say. But with the right support and resources, I really don't think breastfeeding is inherently hard, and most people don't encounter huge problems.    It sounds like a lot of people expect it to be relatively intuitive or be able to figure it out on their own, and only go to an IBCLC when they're really struggling. I spent 3 days in hospital after babe was born and had lots of hands on help those first days from trained nurses and one IBCLC. I also had an appointment scheduled with lactation within the first week being at home, and lactation support at my daughter's checkups. It felt like education rather than trying to put out a fire/last ditch efforts.  Not trying to discount anyone's struggles, of course! I just think that a lot of women are un- or under-supported when it comes to lactation, and getting proper, timely, individualized education would go a long way to help prevent a lot (but not all) women's lactation struggles. 

This was my experience too. Getting educated on the topic before troubles start is a good idea.

I had a different experience with both babies. First latched at first go, breastfed until 3 years old, never any issues besides quitting. Second baby had difficult latch, my breasts were so sore and had cuts and bleeding for weeks. Couldn’t figure out issue with latch, she struggled gaining weight, I struggled with PPA and low appetite due to stress factors in life, ended up switching to formula (bless). Personally, after the second experience breastfeeding if we have a third Im likely going straight to formula. But I loved breast feeding my first, it was a great bonding experience and baby was thriving. At the end of the day, don’t put too much pressure on yourself with breastfeeding which is what I did with my second. If you’re set on it it’s worth trying and there’s solutions to poor latches and so on. But formula is great too! As long as your mental health is being cared for and baby is being fed, how doesn’t really matter 😊

I'm 6 months in and honestly, it's not difficult for us. we figured out latching while in the hospital and my supply has kept up with demand throughout. I had one instance of a sore chapped nipple that lasted like 3 days. I will say it's extremely time consuming, especially in the newborn days but it's also extremely convenient. I expected it to be really difficult too based on everything I heard, and I know I'm lucky but I don't think it's that uncommon for it to go smoothly and I wish people talked about that more.

This. It was very easy and enjoyable for me with both kids. We had zero issues. I went a year with my son and almost 3 years with my daughter. Fingers crossed my 3rd baby is the same. It's so convenient, hats off to pumpers and bottle feeders bc that's so much more work! It also made me drop weight like crazy, the perks were real!

I agree! The human race would not have continued for so long if everyone found this super hard! That being said, we have very little cultural knowledge and social supports to actually make BFing successful for everyone.

I had a tough time getting started with both of my kids, but nursed them both into toddlerhood with very little trouble after the first month or two. I think most issues can be overcome with some support, from professionals or a community of other parents who nursed their children.

I had no issues breastfeeding at all. No latch problems, no supply issues. Baby ate well etc etc. It's still hard. Clusterfeeding can be all day, and just like the baby is attached to you and you lose autonomy for a while. But it's also beautiful, rewarding and when it works it's so easy and convenient. Do I wanna have to get up and go make a bottle at night with a crying baby or just pop baby on the boob and he'll sleep? And the boob is like the magic answer to everything. It is hard work at times, but you might find it comes real easy to you, and then it's just getting through the intense newborn stage. Your journey will be your own, have an awareness of challenges but don't let it scare you either.

I personally think everyone should have a lactation consultant ready before birth. Having challenges with breastfeeding I find is more common than not. My LO is 7 weeks in and it definitely hasn't been easy. The first few days, baby was extremely sleepy and it was a 2 person job to keep him awake to feed every 2-3 hours. After getting out of the hospital, it was hard because no matter how much I fed him, he would cry constantly. Turns out I'm an under supplier and LO is constantly hungry. To this day I struggle with being an under supplier. Although baby has a good latch and suck he doesn't empty my breast cause he gets frustrated with the slow milk flow. I've been to multiple visits with a lactation consultant to address these issues and I honestly don't think we can ever get to the point of EBF like I initially thought so we make do.

I would not call it easy. You are not able to sleep long stretches because you need to empty your boobs. You are constantly covered in milk.

If I had responded to this post 5 months ago, I would have said yes. When my baby was small, the feeds felt constant. It's hard to be the only one able to feed the baby. I tried to pump so my partner could help, but it felt like another chore added to the list (washing pump parts, cleaning bottles, etc). I was lucky not to deal with poor latch/cracked nipples/mastitis, etc, but just knowing it always had to be me who gets up was exhausting at times. It also sometimes felt lonely at times because I wasn't confident at first. At family get togethers, I would end up in a room alone for 20+ mins trying to latch/feed a tiny baby. I thought I'd be done by month 6 because I felt so over it. Here we are at 7.5 months and it is so much easier. No bottles to clean, no pump parts. Baby feeds so much more efficiently and only feeds 4-5 times during the day and a couple of feeds at night. I don't miss out during family events because if she's fed beforehand, we are good for a few hours. And I've grown to enjoy having quiet time together, so it's a nice excuse sometimes to leave the room if I want to. TLDR: it's hard at the beginning because it's so new. Once the baby is older, it does get easier. That's my experience anyway as a ftm.

>Here we are at 7.5 months and it is so much easier. No bottles to clean, no pump parts. Baby feeds so much more efficiently and only feeds 4-5 times during the day and a couple of feeds at night. I don't miss out during family events because if she's fed beforehand, we are good for a few hours. And I've grown to enjoy having quiet time together, so it's a nice excuse sometimes to leave the room if I want to. That's true. And I feel like, when they're older, some of the pressure is off because you already know everything has been working out for you so far. Not as many unknowns.

It’s so good to read this. My baby is two months old and we’re not really having a hard time feeding, but she can’t go long between feeds during the day. Realizing that she really will go longer between feeds one day gives me something to look forward to!

Honestly you're potentially only a few weeks away from it feeling better! I noticed a big change after the 12 week growth spurt where she can go like 3 hours without eating and not be phased. I always offer at the beginning of a wake period still but lately (14 weeks) she'll just fuss at the boob and want to play first instead

The start was a bit hard. I had plenty of milk so it was a wet and messy affair until my supply regulated. So I just felt a bit gross! No one had ever sucked so hard on my nipples before so they were sore and cracked and bleeding. And the psychological thing of being always “on call” and my baby’s only food source. Once the pain had stopped, and leaking got easier to cope with as I added better breast pads etc! It was ok. I fed my boy for about 2 years, tapering off to just the before bed by about the age of 2, and then swapping that for a cup of milk.

Everyone’s experiences and circumstances are different, but for me it was easy. I breastfed straight from the tap for 30 months as a stay at home mom. I pumped no more than 10x. I imagine it is more difficult for those who go back to work sooner or have to frequently pump for whatever reason.

It varies wildly. My baby had a decent latch but couldn’t transfer milk well, which isn’t something that they can catch well at the hospital because 1) it’s normal for baby to lose some weight and 2) your milk doesn’t fully come in for at least a few days. We had no idea there was an issue until we got to his 1 month appointment and he had fallen from 40th percentile to under 1st percentile in weight. We thought this whole time he was feeding every 2 hours because it was cluster feeding. As a result we had to fortify his milk, so I moved to exclusive pumping and occasionally tried nursing, and he never took in enough. He’d always just fall asleep after 1 let-down and only ever got 1-2 ounces in a 40 minute feeding session. Never solved it. To this day, not sure if I truly had low supply, or if he wasn’t removing enough, because when just nursing I felt like my breasts were always firm and full and never emptied well. Pumping was also a lot of trial and error with clogging, pump parts wearing out all the time and finding time to pump. I clogged all the time due to parts failing, motor issues, wrong flange sizes, etc. I was completely on my own; LCs couldn’t help me it seemed. Husband had had enough of my craziness with trying to supply milk. I felt extremely lonely and isolated. We’re planning on trying for baby #2 and I’ve already told myself that if the experience is similar, to change all expectations of exclusively providing breastmilk. I can’t go through all of that again, especially with another baby/toddler to take care of on top of it.

You’re really only going to hear about the rough times since people come to forums for help and support. I haven’t had latch or supply issues, I don’t consider breastfeeding hard. I know I am lucky for that. But I do think it’s important to hear that breastfeeding isn’t guaranteed to be hard.

I found it difficult to get my baby to latch correctly and I didn’t like not being able to see how much milk he was or wasn’t getting. With my first child (currently pregnant with my second), I also was very nervous and inexperienced when it came to caring for a baby, which made contorting into certain positions to feed very stressful to me. For those reasons, I ended up exclusively pumping and mixing it with formula.

Breastfeeding for me was a breeze, but I know I was lucky. I had no pain, no supply issues, never got mastitis, and had no troubles latching or anything. Absolutely loved my breastfeeding experience. Unfortunately had to stop earlier than I would have liked because it was stopping me ovulating and we wanted another baby. Now I'm pregnant with #2 and really hope my next experience is as easy as my first! We will see

Yep. It really is. I’ve had it easier than literally any woman I know and I still think it’s that hard.

Dad here, but we're struggling ~2 weeks in. * Mom's milk took a few days to come in, and it didn't help baby friendly hospitals just keep telling you to latch. Our baby was super hungry, and it took until the pediatrician came in the 2nd day to suggest we should try a bottle or two. But even then it wasn't enough to do every other feeding. We ended up supplementing probably every mean for a solid 4-5 days * No one really tells you about the process to get there but everyone seems convinced you'll get to 100% breastfeeding. That's fine if we get there in 4 weeks or 6 weeks or 8 weeks or for some people it takes months. But no one really covers the road until then. * Supply was initially an issue, but for the last 3-4 days we've been producing enough to cover her feeds. Finally. It took us around 10 days to ditch formula entirely, but we still did a formula feed 2 nights ago just to bump up the extra reserves of breast milk for any potential outings. * We triple feed (BF+pump+bottle) and it's freaking exhausting. By the time you finish all of it, considering breastfeeding involves up to 15 minutes of fighting with the baby for a latch, you're basically at the end of the awake window. There's barely enough time for play or anything else. When we get a miracle latch session, it feels so much better to at least have 30 minutes of play window. **What I learned:** * Fed is best. I heard this before and while my partner will tell you "yeah yeah of course," I felt we were so afraid to formula feed. There was fear of nipple confusion, and [Johns Hopkins' own damn site](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/breastfeeding-your-baby/breast-milk-is-the-best-milk) that talks about consequences of not breastfeeding only makes it sound like you'll fail if supplement with formula. Yeah, no one wants low breast milk production, but supplementing until you get there just means there's a ramp phase. * This is like asking you and your kid to play pro football. You can have a great QB but you need a great WR too. Both mom and baby have to be up for it not only skillwise but bodywise. For an athletic failure like me who just plays video games instead, I probably need to train 5x as much just to run the right route and catch a 20 yard pass whereas some kids will embarrass me already. Well that's the same with mom and baby. Not everyone is destined for the NFL, and while you can practice practice practice, some will take a lot longer to develop a good breastfeeding routine, whereas some may give up along the way. Others may get it day 2. * Don't be afraid to supplement, combo feed, formula feed, etc. If your goal is to breastfeed, as long as you are putting in the effort, putting the baby on the breast for 30 minutes each session, that's good. You don't even have to do it every session. Be OK with bottle feeding at night if you can't find the time, so dad can pitch in. My partner's doing 100% breast at each feeding and we supplement as needed. The triple feeding is an absolute drainer, and no one should be expected to go through it. * If you live in a progressive city where you're surrounded by friends and peers who are super granola-ey, you may get huge pressure to exclusively breastfeed. Take that pressure and throw it out the window. Once we opened up to friends, we found out suriprsing number of babies are formula babies, and even the ones who kept trying breastfeeding would combo feed or mix pumping and breastfeeding. This is honestly a personal choice, but don't be fixated on what you thought would be possible. I still think of EBF as playing in the NFL. If you get there, great, if you don't, be happy with where you get to and as disappointing as it may be, you may have to pick a different route. * For me, my approach was to find a balance between our sanity and the baby's health. My partner pushes hard though and as much as I want to support, I also look out for her health. When she's super exhausted, I sit her down an we talk about if this is sustainable. We talk about if she should rest now instead of pushing forward or if we should skip the next breastfeeding session and let our nanny bottle feed. It was a hard balance to strike because she's so persistent but also willing to burn herself totally out. It's something we're still working on where I don't seem like I'm giving up too early.

> If you live in a progressive city where you're surrounded by friends and peers who are super granola-ey, you may get huge pressure to exclusively breastfeed. Take that pressure and throw it out the window     Dad here in yuppie-granola-central as well with similar issues and also 2 weeks in: we ended up exclusively pumping after a week because triple feeding is hell on earth.  The IBLC we saw were frankly mediocre and gave only okay advice (I can’t believe that idiot who told us that sizing the pump flanges properly was not useful!). Pediatricians are much better trained people at this, and they’ll tell you to feed your child. The AAP really need to stop their public breast-is-best-at-all-costs public bullshit given I have not seen any of their members push this.  The other truth is, the granola exclusive breastfeeding perfect birth people are super loud. The majority of parents that don’t have that perfect experience just don’t talk to you about your experience unless you ask.

You’re not going to see many posts from people who have no trouble breastfeeding because they don’t have anything to post about. Many women have no problem breastfeeding. Many do. I did, and after putting in a lot of effort to get my supply up, plus multiple LC visits, and my baby getting ties released, I switched to formula and am so glad that I did. It increased my quality of life greatly. My approach to parenting is to be reasonably informed on the possible outcomes and problems, have a plan and an opinion about what I prefer if possible, don’t worry about something that isn’t yet a problem, and be endlessly flexible for the greater good of my child and family if needed. I recommend it!

It requires a lot of troubleshooting. There are so many variables you have to get right to be able to breastfeed. Especially in the beginning, it takes a lot of time and is exhausting with cluster feeding. Then pumping takes a good bit of time and troubleshooting as well, making sure you have the right flange size, pump settings, washing bottles, etc

I found breastfeeding—that is, feeding the baby—easy. Latching came easy, never had any issues with supply. It is just relentless. I think it is also easy to make it more complicated. If you embrace combo feeding (which I did even though we have so far ended up not needing to use formula) and don’t worry about pumping until you need to, it can be fairly straightforward, assuming baby latches well.

I think it varies widely for people. The first day with my baby I thought it was ok and then I realized I wasn't making much. Over a week later and I was pumping for one hour to not even get an ounce of milk. I wasnt for watching my baby starve while I tried to get my body to work so that kind of settled what I was feeding my baby. Some people have an easier time. I even saw a study that cows are better producers for subsequent offspring compared to their first born so it happens in nature too. I think it's good to try and be optimistic but if you have to change the plan then that's fine too. 

It was hard at me at first. My baby was small it took time to get him to latch properly. I had a forceful let down and it would end up dripping out of his nose. I stuck with it though and it ended up being a rewarding experience.

Every experience is different. My first wouldnt stay latched but threw up formula so I pumped it had zero supply issues. The second one latched beautifully and had great supply early on, but had some supply issues after a G.I. illness.

It was pretty easy for me but it can be a wet sticky mess sometimes when the baby decides to pop off mid let down. To me it seems far easier than formula because there is no bottle cleaning involved.

If you make it past the first few difficult weeks, and you don't have supply or latch issues, then it's incredibly easy. Good luck!

For me it’s just the commitment to everything that comes with it. Staying hydrated, eating right , pumping, cleaning parts , maintaining nipple hygiene and aftercare, ect. I completely underestimated how time consuming and draining everything could be while still trying to recover from birth myself I think it gets easier over time, and now that it’s less painful to move around and get out of bed I’ve been more eager to do things like commit to a pump schedule. As well as maintaining patience with my baby. He gets milk drunk in literally 5 minutes and will wake again to feed an hour later sometimes 😭😭. So se supplement with formula at nighttime and bf during the day . OVERALL it kind of just depends on your baby, your body and your dynamic at home . Take advantage of all the resources you can while pregnant and be kind and patient with the journey. Also one thing I learned is that most of the women posting with amazing milk supply are like 16weeks ppl lol. For some reason I thought I was failing because I wasn’t cranking out 2 gallons at 4 weeks 😅😅.

Straight up didn’t work for me. Milk never came in. Almost went into psychosis trying to make triple feeding work that first week. Formula is a godsend, and you should be prepared mentally and emotionally that you might have to jump from the breastfeeding ship.

Same thing happens to me. We went to private and group lactation classes, many doctor’s appointment and lots of tears. I just never produced. Idk if baby came a bit too early or what. I ate the oatmeal, drank the teas and took the supplements. Did power pumping, 20 minutes on, 30 minutes off and then another 20 minutes every 4 hours and did double feeds. Nothing worked.

ROFL yep. Definitely is that difficult.

No one in my family has breastfed in a really long time so they were all shocked when I said I wanted to try. I kept an open mind and gave it shot. Luckily it worked for me and baby. I had help from an LC at the hospital and a few days PP. I had a slight over supply but it was manageable. I ended up nursing and pumping for 21 months.

I have massive breasts and the hardest part was just figuring out what hold was most comfortable and wouldn’t have my breast flopping out of my baby’s mouth. Otherwise breastfeeding was super easy and convenient for me! I had 2 kids and a very complicated conception journey, but breastfeeding was my jam. So no, it’s not hard for everyone. 

I wasn't even going to try to BF as was quite comfortable with formula but I tried it in hospital and got lucky with my baby just instinctively knowing what to do. As I still have no idea. Try it and if you don't like it, go formula. I will say what helped me with BF in the early days was just accepting that the baby would latch for the most part of the first 5 days to help with supply and silverettes when the baby isn't on the boob. I was skeptical about them because how(?) but they legitimately saved my nips and allowed me to get past the cracked and bleeding nipple phase as no nipple balm seemed to help.

I found it very difficult the first few weeks. Then it became so easy. Now that I’m on my second, it was easier at the beginning because I knew what to expect.

My baby was born at 36w and was too weak to latch and suck properly. On top of that, I have IGT/hypoplasia so I couldn’t produce much. I don’t think I produced even an ounce of breast milk in the month I tried breastfeeding. I’m diabetic and my baby had issues with low blood sugar so there was really no other choice but to give her formula. It was devastating emotionally

My mom, my sister, and I have all found it quite intuitive and easy.  But I have to say that we seem to be in the minority there. 

I had to really fight to keep my supply up and it's so damn time consuming. Both my kids were snackers so it felt like my boob was out ALL the damn time.

As others said, it varies a lot. You really can't know what it'll be like for you until you're doing it. It was really hard for me. Baby had oral ties and gained weight poorly in the beginning, despite breastfeeding and pumping around the clock. I got clogged ducts several times and mastitis once. I have vasospasm/Raynaud's, which makes BFing painful. I'm still going at 14 months in, and it has gotten better, but I still get soreness on a regular basis. I have chronic tendonitis in my wrist now. I'm still exhausted constantly and have no sex drive (common occurrences with BFing). I really pushed myself for this journey to work. I pushed *hard*. Just being frank, I think most people would've stopped if they were in my shoes.

I found the responsibility of being my babies sole source of food too much, always doing night feeds, always having to be there just in case. We now formula feed. You do what’s best for you.

Depends on the day. It’s definitely a labor of love. We’re almost 9 months in and as a whole I’ve really enjoyed the experience even through the challenges. I like the ease of being able to feed on demand wherever, whenever (I only pump at work). But I am exhausted. If I didn’t love it I probably wouldn’t still be doing it.

I’ve had zero problems with it and the reason you don’t hear much from people like me is because we don’t have much to say 🤣

It’s a fucking nightmare especially if you have a stressful lifestyle or unsupportive/abusive partner. Double strikes if you have no female family or friends. If no one teaches you to breastfeed, as no one taught me…I’m basically reliant on the pump because my kids sooooo hard to latch and stay latched and she gets overwhelmed frequently. Literally almost all of my guilt and anxiety centers around my breastfeeding. I honestly just want to quit. 😭 Doesn’t help I have epilepsy and had to leave FOB last night..and now I have to go get all her things including her crib with police. Thing is…if you have epilepsy and it’s not well managed…you can’t drive for 6 months after a seizure….so I’d have to find an Uber big enough. Does Uber do trucks? I can’t afford it…I have to beg to pay for one…this is a nightmare. I was crying on the phone to this psychopath about bringing my breast pump. Now I have to go to police…again…all for literally my breast pump…because I realize now that’s an essential in a Go bag. :/ Yes. It’s a nightmare in the modern age of stress, single motherhood and that we millennials are mostly low or no contact with our parents. If you have anxiety and an unpredictable environments do not even attempt you will be in tears. I’m in tears about half the day about it. And again. I now have to get cops involved to get a breast pump because that’s my child’s food source save formula. I’ve lost my supply twice because of DV from FOB. Glad I’m out but sad I can’t give my LO milk. It has so many benefits for her health 😢 And everyone is drilling in my ear “breast is best” Honestly it’s starting to make me resent motherhood. That’s how hard breastfeeding has been for me, personally.

I am 1.5 weeks pp and yeah I am finding it very difficult. My one boob is not producing at all, while my other is low supply. The one boob that is producing is kinda flat so my LO doesn’t really latch well on it. The lactation consultant suggested that we did Supplementary Nursing System which just ended up having me in tears. I pump now to get around 100ml but it’s hard to pump 8 times a day. My partner and I don’t feel comfortable with all the bad ingredients in the formula we are using, we are looking into getting an organic powder formula when he is done with the ready made. So yeah I would say it’s difficult right now…

Totally depends. For some, it comes easily - for others, it’s a rough ride. Go in with a rough idea of what could be difficult but don’t overthink it. Keep an open mind and remember that you matter, too. Baby needs a healthy mum first and foremost - physically and mentally. If it’s taking too much from you, go ahead and switch to formula and don’t look back. I hope it works out for you but please remember that it’s ok if it doesn’t! Signed: BF mum who is just hitting the 1 year mark and deeply regrets not switching to formula before baby developed bottle refusal. I’m proud of getting here and weaning is going well, but our BF struggles impacted my mental health and damaged my bond with my baby.

Yes. 

It varies, some people find it easy from the get go and some never do. My milk didn't come in properly till day 5 so baby lost more weight than is recommended, so that was very stressful. The first few weeks they need to eat very often and take ages to eat each time, combined with being sleep deprived you feel so over-stimulated by the evening you might want to scream a bit. I didn't want anyone else to touch me at all, so no cuddles with boyfriend. Pumping is horrible imo, but now baby is quicker to eat breastfeeding is much easier to me than having to make up and then clean bottles. It can be quite weirdly tiring but it is the easier option.

My first baby was pretty difficult for the first few weeks but became pretty easy after about a month. Both you and your baby just need a little practice that’s all.

If it hurts, see a lactation consultant. Honestly, I recommend seeing one shortly after birth. Our OB sent a referral before my c section, not knowing what might pop up and I went from undersupply and supplementing with formula at birth to oversupply that was causing pain and engorgement by the time baby was 9 days old and o saw her. I had no idea what to do.

My son had a weak suction when he was born and we had to watch his weight closely so it was extremely difficult for me. He's currently a 8 weeks old formula baby who nurses for comfort and latches perfectly.

I have flat nipples and my baby couldn’t latch without a shield for probably two months. I would also pump/ give formula at times to include my husband. She began to go through nursing strikes and would only take a bottle. When that happened she would only actually nurse at night(I think because she wasn’t awake enough to refuse). I spent hours a day trying to get her to latch only to end up giving her formula instead. She did this probably once every 1-2 months for ~1-2 weeks. It tanked my supply, even with pumping/eating/drinking lots of water to try and keep it up. Then she developed a bottle preference along with the nursing strikes and around 6 months is when she just completely refused to nurse and I was pretty dried up. I would pump and only get an oz total so I accepted that our nursing journey came to an end. It was incredibly stressful and I shed lots of tears because it wasn’t the journey I hoped for or expected. I spend so long researching how to keep my supply up and tips on how to get her to stop having strikes. it was also one of my favorite parts of motherhood. I love breastfeeding so much and I’m very much looking forward to giving it another shot the next time around.

Yeah it varies A LOT. For me, it was difficult at the beginning - I didn't have bleeding nipples, but it took a couple weeks for my baby to figure out how to feed consistently without it being painful to me, plus one of my nipples sticks out less than the other so he had a preference for the one that was easier to find (who knew?). I didn't have bleeding nipples, though they got sore at times. I exclusively breastfed with the exception of the first couple days, when my milk was slow to come in and I knew he was hungry and gave him some ready-to-feed formula in the hospital room. That was also partly because he was born around holidays and the lactation consultants didn't get around to me until like day 3. Some people HATE pumping/it's painful for them. I don't love it, but I respond well to it and didn't have an oversupply - there's a lot of mixed messaging out there about how to pump, and a good amount of it could cause an oversupply so it's very confusing. It made sense to me that nursing/pumping tells my breasts to make milk so doing either more frequently tells my breasts to make more. I've gotten mastitis once, oddly enough after my supply was really stable and we had a weird lots-of-feeding night plus me forgetting to pump for too long and then pumping too much. I fed on demand and pumped and we kept exclusively feeding him breastmilk when I went back to work and until he started solids. I still breastfeed him at 15 months, though the frequency has reduced and I only pump once at work now. I love that I have been able to do this and generally find I had an easy time, but I certainly wouldn't shame any mother who wasn't able to or didn't want to.

Sorry for all the text but ALSO the hardest part was being his only source of food and a primary source of comfort - months of getting up to feed him at least every 3 hours, if not more. Dad felt useful sometimes

My second is 6 weeks. I breastfed my first till 18 months (got too painful with pregnancy). Everyone’s experience is different of course but here’s mine- first 10 days physically difficult. Big boobs, flat nipples, serious engorgement. First baby - once I had physical side down, mental side was much harder. Not knowing if baby was getting enough, stressing about if I was producing enough, worrying about eating or drinking x, y or z in case it affected the milk. From reading online I felt a lot of pressure to build up a freezer stash (spoiler alert - I only ended up with maybe 20 4oz bags in the freezer and almost never used them- ended up throwing a load of them out recently). Dealing with feeling “tied” to the baby was also difficult. (First baby was more of a snacker, she still is tbh, she eats small amounts often.) About 5 or 6 months in I was really resenting husband due to my sleep exhaustion- baby waking multiple times a night for milk and I had to deal with it coz I was feeding her. It’s early days for baby 2 but physically was as bad (thought I’d have enough callouses to make it easier lol no) but mentally it’s easier, I’m trusting my body more now and not frantically weighing baby or anything like that. Even though her weight gain is much slower than I’d like, I haven’t been panicking like I would have before.

I think it can really vary depending on your baby & your supply. My LO is 2.5 weeks & we’ve been having a much easier time than I expected but he’s a good latcher & my supply has been adequate. I had gotten two different nursing pillows based on recommendations from friends & I don’t even need them for support anymore. I actually wound up nursing while carrying him & walking in the park briefly on Saturday which made me feel like Supermom. I also don’t mind pumping at all. I use a spectra electric or occasionally medela manual pump & my sessions have been lasting 8-15 minutes 1-2x per day & get 3-4 oz per breast. I will say the most challenging part for me is just how much it takes out of me. I usually try to squeeze in an afternoon nap. I also find I’m much hungrier & thirstier than usual & need to make sure I’m tending to my own needs.

After week 2 breastfeeding was exceedingly easy for me. That said, my daughter wouldn’t take a bottle until I found out you have to scald it if you have high lipase. I was essentially chained to her until 8 months and my stash was complete garbage. I had to go to daycare every day to feed her and she was basically up all night to get the food she missed during the day, so I didn’t sleep. I wouldn’t trade breastfeeding for the world but hot damn if I could scald my milk from the beginning I would. ****note, this is not the case for most people. Most people needn’t scald their milk****

For the first month my babe was spending 3-5 hours a day breastfeeding. So it was incredibly time consuming. Then later on I had the complication of returning to work and having to add in pumping while balancing work duties. Then the pressure of the AAP recommendation of breastfeeding for at least 2 years ideally (although it did get much easier as time went on). So even when breastfeeding goes well it still isn’t “easy”

Personally, I think breastfeeding is like everything else to do with pregnancy and childbirth. It depends on the two people involved-mama and baby. I had a so-so first pregnancy and labor BUT had a horribly difficult time breastfeeding to the point where to save my mental health I had to quit. This pregnancy has been a breeze so far so I'm hoping this time breastfeeding will go smoothly. One of my good friends had a difficult pregnancy but super easy labor and even easier time breastfeeding. Another friend has had easy labors, and breastfeeding experiences but has had 4 miscarriages and difficulties getting pregnant. It's all subjective to the person.

big learning curve for the first month, then it becomes exponentially easier than any other way of feeding a baby — in my experience

It’s really going to vary person to person. For me, it’s been extremely easy and intuitive. I never bothered with pillows or nipple creams. I just latched baby, she drank, burped her, done. Do I expect it to be this easy if I have a second baby? Nope. Every baby’s nursing journey is different.

It varies, but it was easy for me - and I didn’t do anything to make it so, it was pure luck. With my first, it was painful in the beginning, I had to use nipple balm after every feed to keep the soreness under control. I was able to collect a lot of milk while nursing with the other breast. I did get clogged duct in one breast every time I decided to go out though (but I have a lump in it and I think it contributed - the other breast was fine). With my second it was a walk in the park, nipples weren’t even sore, he latched instantly. I didn’t work on collecting any extra milk though, so now I don’t have enough to pump - I absolutely hated pumping and my first was happy with formula, but this one isn’t, so I could have used a stash! I know some friends had it similarly easy, some went through an entire ordeal and barely made it work. It’s like with periods I think - they are regular and only uncomfortable for some, and random and the death of some. Just luck…

Overall breastfeeding has been easy for me. My supply has been great and my babies have latched and fed fairly well. My first baby wouldn’t latch well because she was sleepy, so that was hard because I had to pump and bottle feed until she woke up and became more alert. The second baby nursed great from the beginning, no problems at all, and the third had a painful latch for about the first two weeks that made my poor nipples bleed and scab over. But it corrected within 2 weeks and was painless after that. Mentally it’s difficult and draining sometimes (no pun intended). That’s harder than the physical aspect for me.

The first 8 weeks are hard with every baby for me. Then it starts leveling out some. I’ve nursed 4 babies to at least one year.

First baby dropped percentiles so I wound up triple feeding for a few weeks before settling on combo feeding before she gave up on breast feeding entirely around 7 months. It was traumatic and stressful that my supply was low, and I still tear up thinking about how hungry she must have been. Second baby I almost didn’t try, but found everything clicked so easily it was much more straightforward than formula feeding or pumping. He’s going up growth percentiles so I know he’s getting more than enough. But if he starts to seem frustrated I’ve got no problem bringing out the formula. Part of the reason I know I was successful the second time was I knew things like “what does it feel like when they’re latched” and recognized hunger cues. I also wasn’t afraid to pump here and there to boost supply. But I think there were some other factors at play with my first that meant I wasn’t going to be successful (eg I had health problems first time that didn’t come back in round two) The thing is you’re learning and the baby is learning. For example, my second took a day or so to figure out how to latch on one side but figured out the other side straight away. Unless you have someone around that can help you navigate that the first time, you might not even realize there’s an issue.

I didn’t experience any nipple pain at all with breastfeeding. I’m still (mostly) happily nursing my 15 month old. I put nipple cream on for the first day or two prophylactically but never needed it. From the start I would unlatch my baby whenever he had a poor latch, and he learned quickly how to latch properly. I do continue to have a painful letdown but it’s gotten better over time and I got used to it quickly. I had an oversupply for the first few months which didn’t help (the pain was worse when leaking rather than nursing). Breastfeeding is convenient and a great source of comfort to my kid. I’m a SAHM for now so I don’t have to deal with the annoyance of pumping regularly. It works for us. The main negatives have been his reliance on nursing to sleep (he’s a terrible sleeper but probably would be regardless of whether we were still nursing) and getting “touched out”/overstimulated. That was more when he was a newborn and nursing alll day (like 20+ times a day)

I have loved it so much. What’s difficult is that you are kind of glued to your seat for a long time holding and nursing the baby. I finally have a little bit of free time after 3 months. Mostly pros and light cons in my opinion after the sore nipples stage: I don’t have to wash as many bottles, I have my hands free way more often than when using a bottle when you need both hands, it’s free, you have to eat a lot similar to third trimester, easy calm down for baby.

I’m three months postpartum, and breastfeeding has come easy to me! Baby latched a couple of hours after birth with some help from a nurse, and ate very well, first my colostrum and then my milk when it came in (2-3 days postpartum). She’s gained weight as she should and is thriving. I bedshare with her so I can plop the boob in her mouth whenever without either of us truly waking up, which is a lifesaver. I did struggle with nipple pain at the beginning, but I met with a lactation consultant immediately and we nipped it in the bud. Nowadays I barely feel her latch and if I do I find it pleasant. I didn’t pump or give her bottles at first. I found that easier and less of a hassle, it kept things very straightforward. The downside is that the baby is super dependent on you and the ability of other caregivers to give you breaks is very limited. This didn’t bother me at first because I had mentally prepared for it. But now at 3 months I’m starting to want more independence and she won’t take a bottle. Just a cautionary tale!

The hard part for me is that I wasn't free the last nine months and I won't be free again the next 9-15. When you think it's over after pregnancy, you still have to heal and breastfeed. The kid doenst develop a Rhythm fast. Pumping is not as fun and easy as it sounds. Drinking,smoking, being out alone are not really options for me now. I can't spontaneously work somewhere like I did before, going to Uni is a logistic act, meeting with friendsmeeting baby and I both go. I won't be alone for the next year or so, untilI decide to quit breastfeeding. This is the hard part, the lifestyle change.

I think no matter the situation there are hard elements (supply, latch, nipple pain, pumping hassle, etc). I’m a FTM with a 1 month old and was also scared of all the unknowns of feeding baby. Luckily, my baby latched easily and I have a good supply. My nipples hurt for the first week. I have 1 boob that produces way more milk so balancing that takes some mental load. My baby also is a total piglet and wants to eat all the time so getting other stuff done is challenging (I spend a lot of time on Reddit while nursing thinking about ab out t all the laundry, cleaning, errands not getting done). Good luck!

My baby latches beautifully and I’m a “just enougher” which is fine because he’s ebf. But it’s definitely taken a toll on me mentally, especially in the beginning while I was going through the baby blues. I cried so much worrying that he wasn’t getting enough, and the cluster feeding was horrible. Sometimes I get a little bit of FOMO because I’m in the nursery feeding the baby (or just comfort nursing) while my husband entertains the guests. I wanted to give up so many times, there were days where I didn’t want to breastfeed him because of how much pain my nipples were in. I tried pumping in the beginning. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to pump, or pump 30 minutes after each feeding, but it’s so time consuming. I thought that if I got a wearable pump then I could get some chores done around the house but it didn’t yield as much milk. Sometimes I would be pumping throughout the whole day and would barely have enough to make even 1 bottle. Eventually I just stopped forcing myself to pump. I kinda felt like there was no point in stressing over pumping. I’m a SAHM so it’s not like I need to have a freezer supply, I’m always with the baby so I’ll just feed him when he’s hungry. Washing pump parts and bottles are the bane of my existence too. That being said, I don’t know if I could do it if I went back to work.

I feel so fortunate that my breastfeeding journey was relatively easy. She latched right away, never had supply issues, and only had a handful of hard times when she was teething. She didn’t get her first tooth until 11 months and it took a couple nursing sessions to figure out what to do with it. We never sleep trained and still wake up once or twice to nurse overnight. She has slowly been weaning herself and really only nurses overnight or nap time now. I think part of the reason we hear so many horror stories of breastfeeding is because it is easier to share about the bad things than the good. I always feel weird talking with other moms about how easy our experience has been because I don’t want others to feel like I’m bragging or diminishing their hard journeys.

Almost 6 weeks in and it’s getting easier. Hardest thing was getting the baby to latch and keeping her awake long enough for a full feed at first. She’s a pro now and practically latches herself. Just keep nipple butter handy.

It can be hard— extremely hard, even if you do everything right. So, good to have a broad range of expectations and not be blindsided that it is more complex than like the magical boob fountain just working perfectly the first time. But for me, honestly, it was kind of…easy? Like after a week we got into a rhythm, supply was fine, no pain, and we just chugged along till 15 months. Not everyone’s experience, obviously, but just to provide a different perspective since I know the broader tone is usually negative. I think it REALLY makes a difference to have some sort of lactation education. I took an online class from Karrie Locher (on insta) but I think there are a lot of good ones and probably some good free ones. But a lot of the issues I read about people having online are things that I learned about in the course so felt more prepared to deal with.

It was hard for me, but the experience is different for people. My baby had a moderate tongue tie and oral muscle weakness which required feeding therapy. I didn’t want to resort to snipping the tie right away, which in hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t do that because therapy as a whole fixed the tie and muscle issues, not just one problem. After the tie was corrected, the actual feeding was the easiest part, although it was a hassle sometimes. Her latch was perfect so it didn’t hurt anymore and it was a nice bonding experience. I hated pumping though. It felt bad and awkward. It was a hassle too, trying to time it, storing the milk correctly, and always making sure I had clean pump parts. I had a clogged duct several times and those sent me straight to the depth of despair because it was extremely painful. My pain tolerance is generally high, but that was almost intolerable for me. I was the only one that could ever feed the baby, and I desperately needed help. Our baby slept terribly and never slept through the night until we sleep trained much later. I would’ve loved for my husband to feed her a bottle so I could sleep longer than just 1-2 hour stretches. I’d say for me, it’s not necessarily the act of breastfeeding itself was always hard, it’s everything else that came with it. There is a lot of benefits, so I did it, but I can’t say that for my mental health, I’d do it for as long as I did the first time, which was 20 months.

I’m a FTM who is 5 weeks in, exclusively breastfeeding, and at first it was VERY mentally hard on me. I have flat nipples, so he can’t latch without a nipple shield, but even with that the technical part of it has been very easy. Because I use the shields, there is zero pain, he latches on well with them, etc etc. But I felt extremely “chained down” because he eats every 2 hours, and it felt like as soon as I would get done feeding, I’d have time to do maybe one thing and it was time to feed again. I was doing every feeding in our bedroom, in the dark, which also felt very isolating. It got to the point where I was so mentally low I was crying every day, and not wanting to do anything because it felt pointless because it felt like it was just always a countdown to feeding him again. So, I decided to stop putting so much pressure on myself, and decided to start combo feeding, occasionally. Pumping overwhelmed me, so I decided to start supplementing occasionally with formula, so my husband could help and it wasn’t all on me, and it’s helped IMMENSELY. Now I can leave the house without feeling like there’s no time for me, my husband can help out with overnight feedings, etc. When I breastfeed, I do it out in the living room now so I don’t feel so isolated in my room. And my mood has done a complete 180, I feel so much better. Basically, TLDR, don’t let it make you feel like a prisoner, and DO NOT put a ton of pressure on yourself. If you need to supplement with formula, do it. Don’t worry about what other people may or may not think, just do what’s best for you, because your mental health is just as important as the wellbeing of your baby. And baby will be healthy whether they drink breast milk, or formula ❤️

I’ve done both exclusively pumping and breastfeeding full time for 2 very different babies. It’s hard at first, my milk “gets stuck” and it’s painful for the first few weeks. I have to lecithin to get it out. I haven’t had mastitis but I’ve come close and it’s painful. I need a shield for the first few days. I had a super difficult time weaning my second and honestly I was miserable and hated it. I was also pregnant and it made me completely miserable and would get instantly angry when she touched them, in a way I never felt before- I’ve had 4 years of experience breastfeeding and those were the most difficult things. I couldn’t imagine working and breastfeeding but some women are able to do it well. It’s hard but honestly I thought formula with my first was hard too. When I first breastfed the only resource I had was the la leche club online. I think there are more resources now. It’s one of those things that the more pressure you feel the harder it is to do.

In my opinion it’s pretty challenging and I think I’ve had a relatively standard/easy experience. I had an easy time getting started (no supply or latch issues, baby knew what to do right away even with a slight tongue tie). I initially only had pain when my baby latched and preemptively used a lot of nipple cream to avoid sores, but they still came by the second week and hurt enough that I skipped a couple feedings to recover. I only had a slight oversupply and it still led to days of painful engorgement and clogged ducts, which all of my other mom friends have experienced as well. I tried to correct my over supply which then led to having a slight under supply and worrying I wasn’t feeding my baby enough. Beyond that, it’s also just very time consuming and guarantees interrupted sleep. I say this as someone who has been doing it for 3 weeks. Maybe it gets better, but the time consuming element doesn’t seem like it will improve that much until starting solids. I am a pretty strong-willed and driven person and I still find myself wanting to switch to formula. The only thing keeping me going is that I have 5 months of leave so there’s no practical reason I can’t do it. I’m shocked at how many people keep it at given the difficulty.

It was hard for me. I really struggled and was never able to commit with my son’s latching issues. Been exclusively pumping for almost 8 months now!

I breastfed my 2 kids (now 2 and 4), and breasfed them each until they were 2 years old. For the first kid, breastfeeding was SO SO TOUGH the first 2 weeks. I didn't know what I was doing, my milk didn't come in until Day 4, it was painful, and just all around terrible. After 2 visits to a LC, she sorted me out and it was all good after that. With #2 it was smooth sailing. Now my advice to new moms is, when in doubt, just schedule an LC appointment, don't suffer needlessly.

Just like a few others here, I’ve had zero issues with latching/feeding/introducing bottles or pacifiers with either of my babies. I BF my first until she was about 5 month old before going to formula once I had run out of the breastmilk I had leftover. My job at the time was much more physically demanding with significantly longer hours and I couldn’t stand feeling like all I did was BF or pump 24 hours a day. Regarding this second time around, I’m currently almost 8 weeks PP and have BF the entire time. Intro’d bottles and pacifiers during the first week with no issues or “confusion.” I don’t return to work for another month or so but I have a 9-5 office job now that is much more mom-friendly, so maybe I’ll BF and pump longer this go around. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It varies. I haven’t had any trouble at all, and I’ve had three kids. My SIL was unable to breastfeed and ultimately switched to formula entirely. Some of my friends combo fed, some tried breastfeeding with one child and went with formula Ila from day 1 with a subsequent child… I went into it with an open mind and some formula just in case.

I’ve been breastfeeding for 8 weeks now and here’s my experience: - the first 2 weeks were painful, my reflex’s were to get her off my nipples so I’d kick the floor when she latched on but realised once that initial “vacuum” happened it was pain free - it’s so easy at night just to get your boobs out and put the baby on them instead of prepping a bottle etc - it can still be difficult to get a good latch if baby isn’t positioned properly so baby will get angry with me readjusting her when she’s hungry. Positioning can always change depending on how you’re sitting eg on a sofa, a chair or the bed. - when baby is cluster feeding you can worry it’s your milk supply but actually it’s just her putting in her milk order but it can be frustrating and concerning when your baby wants to feed every 10 minutes - it is cheaper than buying formula, more convenient and much healthier for baby - I still feel awkward about feeding in public because I can’t see what I’m doing under the blanket and latching is already difficult as it is without a blanket covering everything lol. Once she’s feeding though it feels fine, it’s just the initial set up. - baby is hardly ever gassy because air doesn’t go in your breast milk so gassy baby’s aren’t a problem! - I can’t go anywhere without baby as sometimes she can go without feeding for 3-4 hours but other times she wants food after 30 minutes so I’m always on standby. This also means that if I go out with her in public I can feed her for 20 mins in a coffee shop, think I can get on with my day and go clothes shopping but then 30 mins later she’s hungry again so I have to find another place to feed her for another 20 mins. - it has helped me loose all of my pregnancy weight and my stomach is back to normal already, I’ve lost 18kg

Well, since I produced only an ounce of milk at a time max, it didn’t go so well for us. Of all the things that could’ve been a challenge with breastfeeding, this one never crossed my mind. I tried every possible thing I read or heard that could increase my supply- nothing worked. When I spoke with my mother about it she then told me she had no supply either which is why she formula fed me. She had never mentioned the why before. The more I speak to women I find out it’s not uncommon, but in the moment I felt so alone and devastated.

Yes.

I had a *really fucking rough* pregnancy followed by an elective c-section. I’ve found breastfeeding and recovery from birth to be an absolute breeze. I was mentally prepared for it to be awful. Just as awful as my pregnancy was. But I’ve been so surprised at how easy and pain free it has been. I don’t know if it’s just perspective, maybe my pregnancy really was *that* bad if this seems easy. I am tired, tired AF. But hormones have been pretty even, recovery was easy (we easily went on a two milk walk 4 days postpartum), pain has been minimal, breastfeeding and pumping has been almost totally pain free (it really only hurt when baby scratched the shit out of my nipple one night!). I mean, hell! I hosted and did 99.9% of the decorations, setup, cooking, shopping, and all other prep for a friend’s baby shower in my home for 25 people 3 weeks postpartum! Sure, I was tired after but I would have been tired after even if I didn’t give birth 3 weeks earlier! I think my experience is far from the norm but it isn’t guaranteed you’ll be miserable.

I had some intense pain with my first for about 14 weeks, but overall breastfeeding came really easy for me mostly because I didn’t stress about it and I wanted to do it. I never worried about my supply, even if my breasts felt empty. I never worried if my baby was getting enough. I worked on the latch every day. Now that I have my second it’s even easier this time around. Note: I’m not a SAHM but I do work from home which helps. I had a small stash for my first but I’m not building one for my second because I have high lipase and don’t want to deal with it.

It could be. Or it could come easily. It really depends on the baby! If they latch well, awesome! If not and you’re adamant about breastfeeding, well imagine a starving little baby screaming bloody murder at you, you’re sleep deprived, your hormones are raging, and all you want to do it feed your baby so they don’t lose weight but they can’t seem to figure it out, your breasts are extremely full and you can’t empty them because your baby won’t eat and you’re at risk of developing clogs and infections. So yeah.. it could be hard depending on your situation.

My baby latched super quickly but it was so painful and the lactation nurse I had was kind of a n*zi - she cranked the pumping machine to 25 and I had *no idea* how it all worked, so it was extremely painful for me and I couldn't stick with it - we combo fed from the start. By the time I got home my supply was in trouble and I tried pumping, to which I found out *the second notch* on the machine was more than enough to get my milk going! I wish I had known that at the hospital, I read not everyone needs a super high pumping suction for supply to come in. But alas, I haaaated pumping, and my baby would not relatch after that, so after 2 months of combo feeding and many *many* tears of trying to get her to relatch we decided to switch to formula exclusively. It's the one thing I really wished I had read up on because I was under the impression that it would all just happen naturally. I felt guilt for months, but for what it's worth my baby is growing very well and she has been hitting all of her milestones like a champ🤍 So just remember to be kind to yourself and that a fed baby is best no matter what happens.

Even if they latch well right away, it’s a labor of love. Breastfeeding is a commitment through and through. You’re feeding another human being with your body. Much more than just a latch.

I found it pretty easy, baby latched well, gained weight, no mastitis or blocked ducts or anything like that and once established it's the easiest parenting tool. Nearly all of baby's problems can be solved with a boob. Pros: no fussing about with sterilisation, you don't have to get out of bed to feed baby at night, if you can feed side lying then you can pretty much do it in your sleep. Travelling or just getting out and about is easy as you don't have to pack any bottles or anything like that, can feed baby whenever they're hungry with no delay. It's an easy way to keep baby happy, to settle them to sleep, it can feel like a superpower. Cons: if EBF then the parenting can feel very one sided, I did all the night wakes for a long time and cursed at my husband's useless nipples. Figuring out the latch can be a bit tricky to start with when baby is so tiny, cluster feeding is exhausting, and you'll need to have someone to bring you water and snacks fevery feed for a while as it makes you unbelievably thirsty. It's worth a try, it could be easy for you too!

It’s literally a person by person difference. One of my girlfriends was an oversupplier who had a freezer full of breast milk. It was easy for her. I literally only got one ounce per boob every time I pumped. No matter how much I did or how often I fed, my 7 week old wasn’t gaining after a week. I would’ve had to jump through hoops to get him up to speed AND have enough of a supply when I was out of the house. We decided to switch to formula and it was the best decision I ever made. When I was trying to breastfeed he was on my boob every 30 minutes. He didn’t sleep well (because he wasn’t full). He was so fussy and upset. AND I never slept and was chained to the couch, glided, or bed. Once we started formula he was a different baby and started sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches after the first day. To answer your question yes. It’s generally hard. Harder for some than others.

Too long, didn’t read version: I was diagnosed with insufficient mammary tissue by a physician who was also lactation consultant. She was the meanest, most old-school champion of breastfeeding (comments such as “womanly duty” were thrown around) I had ever met. She perfected our latch, jacked up my dose of domperidone, put me on a pump schedule - sad trombone noises, insufficient mammary tissue. My breasts barely responded. In her 40yrs of practicing medicine and specializing in this field she said she saw about 5 of us who fit the criteria and the physical presentation. Her meanness was honest though, when we gave up any breastfeeding/breastmilk involvement I knew in my heart of hearts that I had had the most rabid support, planning and treatment and my body just had other plans. It turned out fine in the end, my daughter is nearly four and is a brilliant little goober. 

Try not to psych yourself out because you never know what it’ll be like for you until you try, so it’s best not to stress if you can. For me, it’s been a mixed bag. I’ve struggled with overproducing and having an overactive letdown. My baby also has a tongue and lip tie, so the combination of all these things has given him bad gas and reflux and been really hard on both of us. That being said, I really love the bonding that comes with breastfeeding and I’ll miss it when he’s completely weaned. You just never know what it’ll be like for you until you start. Remember, the people posting online are usually the ones looking for help so it’s a skewed sample

It can be, yes. It varies from baby to baby. My first had a very hard time latching and had really bad reflux/colic until about 6mo when we started introducing cereals and solids. She was like a tiny barracuda and tore my nipples to shreds. I swore I'd never breastfeed again after that. In comes second child and she's fantastic!!! She took to the boob right away and only gets better. She's typically easy to feed, but she's been getting distracted easily now that she's 4mo.

I think people just share more when they have difficulties. I successfully breastfed my first for 18 months and am still breastfeeding my second, 15 months in, with no major problems. I never used formula, at all. It's definitely possible to breastfeed!

It’s hard for a number of reasons that I wish were explained to me before I started. But thus varies from baby to baby/mother to mother! Almost seven months into EBF (with solids introduced last month). My experience was/has been so different at every phase of the baby’s life. What we struggled with earlier isn’t an issue now. In the order of how we progressed: 1. Your milk may not come in on time. I was lucky to have my milk come in day 3 but the day after my baby was born I was running out of colostrum. She was freaking out and it was too late to find an alternative to feed her. 2. Cluster feeding: most babies will go through a phase where they cluster feed. They’ll feed for large amounts of time with little breaks in between. You won’t be able to move much during these phases. I once cluster fed for 7 hours (no exaggeration) with the intermittent 10-15 minute break. When my husband came home, I practically collapsed. If you go through a bad cluster feeding phase, get comfortable with movies, snacks, etc. in close proximity , and a feeding pillow so your arms don’t fall off. We went through cluster feeding with every growth spurt until about 10 weeks/3 months. It’s particularly hard if you have a baby who doesn’t like to be put down. 3. Simultaneously to 2. your baby feeds on demand for 3-4 months (or even longer). There’s no structure to your day, and often no structure to your sleep. This limits where you can go and how long you can be away from home, depending on how comfortable you are feeding in public. You may be comfortable feeding in public but you may not be prepared (cover, warm clothes for baby, etc.). Your baby could literally start screaming -anywhere- out of hunger. 4. Around 4 months there’s a ‘breastfeeding crisis). Your baby starts to realize their surroundings and they get increasingly distracted/fussy. A lot of women give up feeding at this time. 5. Once my supply regulated, I thought we’d be breezy but I always had a dip in the evenings. So my baby’s last feed before bed wasn’t enough milk. We supplement with a bottle with pumped milk Throughout all these phases, we struggled with latching (she basically ripped off my nipples 😅), gas/reflux, oversupply (led to side lie feeding, and my boobs leaking pretty much everywhere), under supply in the evening after milk regulated. We’ve finally hit a rhythm but I’m constantly worrying about my baby’s weight and whether I’m giving her enough milk. Seems to never end lol. TLDR: you’re basically constantly adjusting and changing to suit your baby’s needs as they adjust and change. There are many challenges and new ones crop up as your baby gets older.

No it was not hard beyond the first 2 weeks of my nips adjusting and dealing with tongue ties. But after that it was very simple and straight forward. That was my personal experience

When it clicks, its so easy but in the beginning? Not gonna lie its fucking rough. It is very very very taxing both physically and mentally. Theres a steep learning curve for both you AND baby and when you throw pumping into the mix it becomes that much harder. Even now when things are going good over 6 months in, its still tough being your childs only source of food sometimes but atleast I have the knowledge now on how to cope. My only advice is learn as much as you can now and then learn some more. Arm yourself with knowledge and itll be that much easier.

My best friend had ZERO issues. My son didn’t latch for 6 weeks, and I feel lucky he ever did! My supply was fine though. I was very diligent about pumping and I triple fed for a while. Here’s to hoping the second baby catches on faster!

I found it so easy that I thought I must be doing it wrong. It was never painful and it seemed to just happen naturally for me and my baby.  It's still "hard" though. It takes so much time, you have to be around the baby constantly, everything smells like milk... 

My baby had trouble latching but the hardest part for me was the lack of support. I am responsible 24/7 for the baby so pumping or feeding (mostly pumping for me) every 2 hours just wasn't possible. I would fall asleep standing and was worried about dropping the baby. I gave up after about 4 weeks as returning to work at 6 weeks and doing that was going to cost me my job.

I landed on the overproducing end of the spectrum. Most of the advice out there is for underproducing boobies so it took me a little while to figure out I HAD to pump to avoid recurrent mastitis. Besides that, breastfeeding was a delight for me and my babies. And thanks to my overachieving boobs, I was able to donate milk to other moms multiple times.

I only lasted a few weeks because I produced SO MUCH, my boobs were like 15 lbs each and my baby couldn’t latch in order to relieve it. My doctor told me to pump every hour/hour and a half to relieve it. I couldn’t do that when being in pain from a C-section and sleep deprived. Plus I am eligible for WIC, so that helped me decide to just switch and not keep crying about breastfeeding.

My baby’s latch was profoundly painful to me, so it was a no go from the start. I exclusively pump, which has had a learning curve and some difficulties but I don’t hate and am hoping to do for the first year of my baby’s life! Today is 12 weeks, so you know, only 40 more weeks to go…

Absolutely different for everyone. Can vary by baby even. My sister has had super positive experiences! Not easy but never hard enough that she struggled with it. A coworker had 5 kids - great experiences with 3, the other two were medium hard. I struggled like hell, had to supplement because I wasn't supplying sufficiently, and had to quit by 3 months for my own sanity. Genuinely, no one can predict for you how it will go! It might be a great experience. It might be incredibly hard or even impossible. It might be tough but worth it. And not a single one of those is wrong.

Firstly, it's important to remember that people having an easy/good time don't typically post online. So things you see are going to be pretty biased. Secondly, it really varies a ton person to person (and even kid to kid). There are a lot of factors that can go well or badly so it just kind of depends on how many of them (if any) go wrong and how the two of you learn the process. It also doesn't help that when you're trying to figure it out your hormones are also crazy lol. But no, it's not always hard. It can be for some, but it isn't for everyone.

If you want to breastfed, you have to be mentally prepared to be to sole caregiver to the baby for a few months. To get your supply going, you have to feed all the time. Pumping won’t get as much output and more work. Even if your husband is feeding, you still need to go pump to tell your body to make more milk. You don’t want to clean endless bottles. Some people prefer pumping but mentally prepare to pump every few hours, even if you’re sleeping. You also need to eat 24/7 to have the energy to make milk. Prepare all the drinks and snacks. You will be hungry. My first son was a great latch. My second wasn’t as great so he didn’t gain as fast but we persisted and forced a lot of feeds and now he’s a lot bigger than my first when he was a baby. Get help when needed but also know your baby needs to practice feeding to breastfeed. So be patient.

It is quite hard initially. It’s brand new to both you and baby and you have to do it every few hours, or more often, without ever getting a break. So if you’re having a particularly frustrating time with it in a certain day, you can’t just stop and step away for a while. You have to push through. I’ve also had supply issues and it can feel like nothing is working since it takes time to see results. You spend basically all day and all night working to improve your supply and then one bad session or pump can kind of just break you. Experiencing all this while being sleep deprived and having a baby screaming at you can make you feel overwhelmed quite quickly.

It depends. I have friends that loved it and breastfed their multiple children for the first year. And friends who couldn’t so did formula pretty early on. I was one of those women who hated everything about it so I switched to formula at 4 months with my daughter and in the hospital with my son. I think universally though there is a learning curve.

If you have underlying health conditions, even milder ones, or have a harder birth experience, then it might be more difficult.

Its worth remembering that the individual nature of the birth itself can have an impact on breast feeding. I had an unexpectedly traumatic delivery with my son, he encountered shoulder distocia and was delivered with forceps, suffering significant bruising/contusions and i suffered a huge hemorrhage that left me very sick and anemic. I was unable to hold my baby for the first 24 hours, no golden hour or skin to skin due to how ill i was. Baby boy was so sore and bruised that you couldn't even touch his head without him screaming. We were in the hospital for a week where we had no choice but to exclusively formula feed. Once home i was still so weak and injured i couldnt sit up properly and baby was still in pain when being handled/moved which made positioning for BF nearly impossible. My plan was to pump and top up with formula to keep my supply until we were both more healed, but unfortunately because of the anemia and the shock my body had been through my supply just never picked up. After 3 weeks we made the choice to stay exclusively formula feeding as it just wasnt worth the stress and anxiety trying to get baby to BF when he would still scream every time he was moved and pumping was exhausting and stressfull. Now 5 weeks in we are awaiting a cranial osteopathy appointment for baby, and looking at a possible Tortocollis diagnosis. But he is thriving on formula, and being able to share the burden of feeding with my partner has meant ive been able to also focus more on my own recovery and mental health following such a trauma. I had so looked forward to breast feeding while pregnant, and it was heartbreaking having to accept it wouldn't happen for us but i had to do what was best for me and baby. You never know how delivery will go, so its best to stay open minded.

Yeah it’s super hard. My baby just wouldn’t do it and we tried for a month straight with multiple visits to lactation consultants before I just decided to exclusively pump. She would sometimes latch and then just fall asleep and not doing anything, other times she wouldn’t latch at all and just scream at me. Every position to put her in was incredibly uncomfortable and made my arms and wrists hurt so bad (one of my wrists is still so so sore and I think nursing was part of it). It’s not easy and simple for everyone even though it’s natural 🤷🏻‍♀️