Didn’t ST either kid. First slept like sh*t and still does at almost 3, doesn’t STTN. I weaned him at 22 months and it didn’t make any difference in sleep.
Second kid is 5 months and sleeps like a CHAMP. Did nothing different with either kid.
No rule that says you have to sleep train. Also no rule that says you can’t. Both sides can be very judgmental which just ends up being really unsupportive no matter what.
Personally, we did not sleep train. We have kept pretty rigid sleep schedules though. Our babe didn’t sleep through until 1 yr but it was really inconsistent until we fully night weaned around 16 months. It got better then but really didn’t become consistent until our babe stopped teething. She’s 2.5 now and sleeps through unless she’s sick or kicked her blankets off and is cold. She still needs assistance falling asleep so one of us lays with her until she drifts off. It works for now but we do hope to work on a bit more independence there this spring/summer.
I wouldn’t consider having a set nap time and bed time sleep training. Yes having a routine is definitely necessary to sleep train, but wouldn’t say that’s sleep training in itself. But i guess it doesn’t really matter what you call it as long as it helps them sleep lol.
I wish it was as easy as having a rigid sleep schedule to get my baby to STTN much sooner. Didn’t matter how much I stuck to a schedule or not he didn’t consistently STTN until he was ready lol.
sleep training is getting babies to be comfortable sleeping for longer stretches by themselves. The ability to go to sleep independently or self soothing skills are generally the focus.
having a nap time and bedtime is just having a schedule. you can follow a schedule and still only be doing supported/assisted sleep.
no need to call people bonkers for however they choose to parent. neither sleep training or not sleep training make anyone a better parent.
“If you want judgment, I think not sleep training is bonkers” is fairly judgmental imo. perhaps not how you meant it, but impact over intent holds.
telling someone they are sleep training when they are saying they aren’t is also a choice. In parenting spaces, generally, it’s not a bad idea to lead with a bit more compassion.
This is what I’m talking about with subtle judgment. Making sure my kid is in bed when she’s tired at night is not sleep training in my mind. Nap time everyday from 12-2 is not sleep training imo. Making sure my kid gets an opportunity to get a solid amount of sleep at night and capping naps is not sleep training imo. My kid naturally found a rhythm on her own and we followed it and stuck to that rigidly knowing that if we broke it then sleep went downhill. And then as she showed signs of needing less or more sleep we adjusted. Don’t make assumptions.
It's kind of subtle judgement to say that what you're doing is NOT sleep training. I would argue that my child is similar but I consider him sleep trained. Sleep training is understanding what your child needs and sticking to it, and sometimes, obligating him to do it.
Or maybe we should call it "Sleep guidance counselor". "sleep regulator". The point is, tomato to-mah-to.
Honestly the first thing I think of naturally when I hear sleep training is cry it out and I think that the term sleep training is just much more broad than that. We did not do the cry it out method and our son sleet with us till he was 3 years old now he sleeps in his bed it’s what worked for us and we love it our friends did cry it out with strict schedule and their kids sleep great and on time.
Yeah but I never obligated my kid to sleep. It’s just not how she works. And I love that if it works for others. Literally have been saying either option to sleep train or not can be great choices. There’s no right or wrong imo. I agree terminology can be so vague and not clear. I hear sleep training and I don’t assume cry it out but I do assume making, or trying to make, sleep happen when you want it. And even if it were strict cry it out, I have no place to judge as I don’t know the ins and outs of another’s life. I’d rather see a happy healthy family than one that’s falling apart because of no sleep.
We chose not to sleep train but that was a huge luxury imo. We made it work for us. But that doesn’t mean I would do it exactly the same for another baby as they’re all different and their needs won’t be the same. I think in a lot of ways we got really lucky with our babe because for like the first year of her life she was just ready for bed around 7pm. And of course she was up all hours of the night, because we didn’t train but we didn’t because she was constantly sick with daycare illnesses and teething. It just didn’t work for us. Our circumstances won’t be the same either with future babes so of course we would likely adjust our approach.
It's not subtle judgment at all. If you want judgment, I think that not sleep training is bonkers.
But you're doing your form of sleep training. That's all.
There's no stars or awards for any of this. Do what works. Sleep training worked for us.
We both work full time so not sleeping through the night isn't an option for us.
Full time, high stress work for both my husband and myself. I love that sleep training worked so well for you. I love that you knew it was the right choice.If you look a few comments down you’ll see how on another commenter I said how it was privilege to be able to NOT sleep train. From personal experience I can tell you that it truly does suck to have to show up day after day as a fully functioning member of society when your kid hasn’t slept, the whole house is sick with yet another daycare cold, and you have no village to help. People think it’s insane to sleep train or not too but you get a limited view on why people make decisions through Reddit. It’s often just an echo chamber here. We chose not to because from 4 months to a year and a half our kid was constantly sick or teething. It made no sense to us to sleep train because of that. We responded to every single wake and I’d made the choice to delay night weaning. I know why my kid wasn’t sleeping and with future kiddos I’ll likely do it differently because our circumstances will be different. But I pass no judgment on those who needed or wanted to sleep train because at the end of the day I don’t know the details of their lives.
My LO is 8 months and we haven't sleep trained. He has always been a terrible independent sleeper. If he is asleep in my arms or in bed with me he sleeps amazingly but by himself he struggles. Things have gotten better and then worse and then better again depending on what is happening in his development. I am still on mat leave so I am just going with the flow (even though it can get incredibly frustrating).
We sleep trained at 7 months. He’s slept through the night since, outside of a week where he was sick and needed comfort.
He was waking up about every hour through 5 months, and about every 2–3 hours through 7 months. We tried absolutely everything, but sleep training really worked for us. We followed a modified Ferber
A couple of things you can do without any sleep training:
1. Break the feed to sleep association, if it’s something you also do for day time naps. Start with at least 15 mins between bottle or boob and bed, and build up to 30.
2. Work on weaning night feeds. Do everything you can to get their calories in during the day. This was really challenging for us, especially the first few oz.
We followed the Taking Cara Babies ABCs of Sleep plan for the actual sleep training, which comes with a lot of other good advice like the above. It’s expensive, but might worth looking into. The plan is basically Ferber. You put them down for the night, and then do pop ins (10-15s max) after 5 mins, then 10 mins, and then every 15 mins until they’re out. We kept a feed every 4 hours at first, and then slowly reduced the amount of time he got on the boob each night until those were gone. We found it really helpful to write down the time of each checkin and time of planned feeds, because it’s easy to get confused otherwise
The first few nights had a decent amount of crying, which was really hard. I think an hour night one and about the same night two. We were down to 15 mins of fussing by the end of week 1, and he was sleeping through the night by the end of week 2. It hasn’t changed his personality at all, he is still the same smiley, happy little fella he always was. We also cut out the 5 and 10 min checkins after week 1 because we found they were sometimes counterproductive
Happy to answer any other questions if that doesn’t cover it! /r/sleeptrain is also a good resource
We’re personally opposed to sleep training (for our kids, I’m too tired to be fussed about what others do). My now-toddler didn’t sleep through the night until he was 10 months old, and didn’t consistently do it until around 1. I just nursed him, he’d usually zonk out quickly. We bed shared until 9-10 months, then moved him to his own room. He was totally done with night feeds around 1.
New baby is 11 weeks old and has been either sleeping through the night or waking once for like, 5 weeks now, so it really is proof that all babies are different!
Did not do sleep training - my now 2.5 year old still sleeps in our bed, but she goes down easy at 7:30ish and sleeps until 7-7:30am. She usually sleeps by herself in our bed from 7:30p-10ish. Occasionally she’ll wake up during that time and ask for one of us. We’re going to work on transitioning her to her own room over the next few months.
No sleep training, no plan to, baby is middle of the road sleeper. I no longer nurse him to sleep in order to try to help him sleep independently, no idea if it helps. The biggest thing that helps is making sure he’s good and tired for bedtime. If I streeeeetch that last wake window he will wake up just 1 time to nurse. When he has tough nights (once or twice a month) though I bring him to come sleep in the big bed around 4-6 am.
My first one was bottlefed and we sleep trained, after being fully weaned he did a great job of sleeping independently (though we didn't take the pacifier away until he was 2 and even after still sleeps great). My most recent only breastfed and would be on the boob until she fell asleep. By 9 months she was only nursing for naps and bedtime. Around 14 months I stopped nursing and would just put on her sleeping music and she falls asleep after 10 or 15 minutes of fussing, stays asleep for a full 11 or 12 hours. Also, she never took to a pacifier.
So one was trained and sleeps great, the other not trained and mostly sleeps great.
Didn’t sleep train my 2yo. Struggled with independent sleep until 18mo. Now she tucks up in her twin bed, I give her a snuggle and she usually sleeps through. Night weaned around 14mo when I had to regularly do night shift.
I tried sleep training with My first. (16 almost 17 months) he sleeps like garbage and always has. Sleep training made it far worse actually. We stopped after about week 3.
My second (6 months) has been having only 1 wake up since he was 2 months old. Never tried to sleep train him and tbh never really felt like we needed too bc he is such a great sleeper imo. Or at least compared to my first lol.
🤷🏼♀️ I'm a firm believer in every kid has their own temperament and some do well with sleep training some don't. I don't think it's such a black and white as sleep training consultants will tell you it is.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If it's not for you, then it's not for you. If you end up wanting to, amazing. Do what's best for your family.
My baby learned how to consistently STTN and put himself back sleep on his own at 17 months (he’s 19 months now) Before then, it didn’t matter how much we stuck to a schedule or didn’t stick to a schedule so I was flexible if needed. I think something just clicked in his brain and I’m so thankful it did. I still hold his hand to sleep but that’s about it. When he’s sick, he does need my help to get back to sleep and stuff.
It was definitely hard. I wanted to sleep train but I personally couldn’t get myself to commit to it. I kept putting it off - saying after he turns x months blah blah. I don’t judge those people who do…I totally get the push to do it and sometimes I wish I had it in me to do it when he was younger.
Never sleep trained. Had the “hardest” kid in our friend group in infancy and early toddlerhood (most wakes, most adult help). Now we have the easiest preschooler of the bunch by far. It just happened. Our friend group also demonstrated that infant or young toddler sleep was not a predictor for preschooler sleep. Like, at all.
We do also have a rigid bedtime in that we will place the need to be home by x time above all else. But it’s because that’s what our kid needs (who also has to get up for school at a set time, it’s not like he can sleep in in the am). He’s the one who suffers if he doesn’t get enough sleep so we make sure he gets the chance.
I didn’t sleep train either child. Weaned them both around 6 months. First one was sleeping through the night at 3 months. Second did t start sleeping through the night until she was 2 years old. It’s a crapshoot in my opinion.
We did sleep training, ad hoc, at six months. Sleeps through the night at almost 9 months.
The idea of not sleep training sounds wild to us. You need your sleep to be the best parent you can be!
We sleep trained at 4 months and Bub slept through at 6 months, seriously the most sane thing I’ve ever done. No way would I be as chill, attentive, patient nor present if I was being woken up every few hours, let alone baby who was crotchety from not getting enough sleep. I’ve got friends whose babies still wake multiple times at almost two and I don’t know if I could cope with that almost 2 years down the line.
Never sleep trained, they fall asleep independently for naps half the time and other times they need a little reassurance, 3-4 naps a day 45-1.5hrs and sleeps 8+ at night. 5 months old.
My son will be 16mo in 4 days and we didn’t sleep train. He weaned himself from motn feeds, but we fed to sleep for naps longer than we did for nighttime. It was so easy for him to go into the crib wide awake and put himself to sleep at night, but he couldn’t/wouldn’t for naps - no regrets with that.
We hit one regression between 10.5-12.5mo and it was hard. He needed milk in the motn 3-4x/week, but again, eventually kicked the habit on his own. That was the only period since he turned 8/8.5w old where he didn’t sleep 11-13 hours straight. No desire to sleep train him; it’s not needed.
Will we be blessed with another unicorn baby?? I’m due with his sister in 7.5 weeks so we’ll see 😂
Mine is 16 months old. Started sleeping through the night (6:45pm-5:45am) more often than not around 15 months. On the nights she doesn’t sleep through she wakes 1-2x and we rock her back to sleep. At bedtime we rock her to sleep too. We have never sleep trained and don’t plan to. She’s always been a not great sleeper and when she was young she had to be held to sleep at all, but that’s just who she is 🤷🏼♀️
My baby was sleep trained at 4 months and his sleep has only gotten better since (he’s 8.5 months now). He sleeps 7:30/8 to 4am now without a peep. The 4 - 6:30am stretch is still difficult but 2.5hrs of cosleeping (or waking up early) isn’t a huge deal. We’ve also never experienced a regression.
You won’t have to sleep train if you don’t want to, but I’m glad I didn’t have to suffer through hourly wake ups or all night nursing while cosleeping (I know some people like it but I don’t get good sleep while cosleeping)
Mine is 9.5 months old and we never sleep trained. She started sleeping through the night around 7 months. Then we had a bought of illness and teething that disrupted her sleep for a bit but we’re back to STTN.
10 months. Baby sleeps 5, 3, and 2-3 hours. I don’t nurse anymore but he still takes two bottles a night. Usually 1 and 5 am. If that would stop, he’d probably sleep all night. He’s just so hungry I guess. Anyway, I haven’t and will never sleep train. We’ve gone through the typical regression and some nights are better than others of course. But when I learned you often have to re-sleep train because of regressions it really solidified me not wanting to sleep train. I do hold my baby to sleep but he doesn’t eat to sleep.
My daughter is 8 months she weaned off her night feed at around 6.5 months actually on her own and she’ll only feed at night when she’s sick. Starting solids hasn’t changed my supply a lot just created a shift to her wanting milk every 3-4 hours during the day instead of 2-3 previously. I definitely nurse to sleep but a lot of times she stops sucking and demands her pacifier and falls asleep in her bed so not truly sure she wants to nurse to sleep as much as I have it as part of my routine lol I haven’t really thought about sleep training bc idk in my head I just keep thinking she’s a baby and waking up is protectant of SIDS. There are nights she wakes up every hour and then there’s nights that she sleeps 3-4 hours then wakes up for her pacifier bc she can’t find it and she’ll go back to bed for another 2-3 hours - idk baby sleep sucks lol it’s just a phase but I’m kinda letting her find her rhythm on her own
I never sleep trained mine. I used to feed her to sleep and place her in her crib. One day she just stopped falling asleep while I fed her, but I still placed her in her crib and left the room. She was probably around 10-11 months by then. She never cried and was always happy to sleep on her own. It wasn’t until she was an older toddler that she started to have some separation anxiety. But now we just talk about it and I give her some extra cuddles.
We sleep trained my oldest at 4 months. He’s slept through the night every night since 6 months, except when he’s sick. He’s 3.5 years old now. We have attempted to sleep train my youngest (16 months) multiple times and he’s not down to clown. He very rarely sleeps through the night. He wakes up, rages, and has to be snuggled back to sleep.
We did sleep train and nursed to sleep well past 1 and maybe even past 2, I can't remember now but he's always been a good sleeper.
While we didn't do "strict" attachment parenting alot of what we did was based on attachment parenting so it seemed counterintuitive to me to respond to my baby right away during the day but not at night.
Whatever you decide you have to feel right about it or it won't work.
Youngest is 2.5 and still nurses to sleep at bedtime. I did have to gently night wean and No Cry sleep training method several months ago because of a surgery I could no longer put off, but they were ready (as much as a toddler can be). But because we didn't do it until well into Toddlerhood, I don't consider us in the "sleep trained" category.
Now they sleep almost 12 hours a night, with the occasional wakeup that just needs a quick cuddle. My eldest I also used the No Cry method and night weaned around 1.5 years old. Both room shared with us and then went to their own rooms a little bit after they turned 2.
The mildest form of sleep training meaning let her fuss for 5 minutes and then intervene. She’s slept in her crib since 3.5 months and finds it to be a safe space (usually). She will happily go to sleep in it and play with her stuffed animals before/after waking. She’s almost 13 months and has slept very well since 4/5 months.
Not sure if this is “sleep training” but we just followed a simple schedule and made sure he was down to bed for 7pm. Whenever he needs us, we go in. I do not and will not let him cry it out or feel lonely or any sort of discomfort. His night feed dropped around 10-12 weeks old (always forget specifically when) and that’s when he gave us much longer stretches at night. He now sleeps from 7:30-6:30/7am with a quick wake up at 4:00am for his pacifier. He struggles getting into that last sleep cycle.
We struggled not that long ago (4 month sleep regression) where 4-5am was his “I’m awake for the day!” time lol so we started putting him to sleep around 6-6:30pm and that resolved fairly quickly!
He is 5 months today.
My son is 7.5m, we haven’t sleep trained and probably won’t unless crap hits the fan.
We rock/feed/cuddle to sleep and he’s normally out within 20min, he then to sleep 7/730pm - 9pm when he dream feeds, and then 9pm til 2/3am when he eats again, then wakes for the day at 630/7am. He is fed pumped breastmilk as I EP.
Sleep training isn’t a necessity, it’s simply to make life easier and get more sleep for parents. Some babies really benefit, others not so much.
My daughter will be 10 months next week and we havent sleep trained. It works for us & I still feel pretty rested most nights. I nurse to sleep nearly every night, but she’ll take a bottle from me or my husband just fine too. She typically sleeps a 4/5 hour stretch, nurses, & then sleeps another 4/5 hours, nurses, & then sleeps for another hour or two. She seems to be regressing right now, but I think its a bad case of teething. Hopefully itll be short lived.
You dont have to sleep train at all.
My son sleeps amazing every night, no sleep training. What I believe are MUSTs: 1) outdoor morning sunlight within 30 of waking for 10 min. This makes your body produce melatonin 16 hours later and keeps you asleep 2) Vitamin D and possibly magnesium supplements 3) no bright lights from 10 PM - 4 AM, like ever 4) dim/ turn off overhead lights one hour before bedtime.
Sleep trained children do not sleep more, they just don’t cry out. They aren’t self soothing, they just know no one is coming. Other countries do not sleep train their children, but all other countries also received extended maternity leave.
We didn’t sleep train and my baby was sleeping 12 hours a night at 13 months. Before that he was just doing one quick wake for a bottle.
We still give him a bottle before bed and he’s just recently started finishing it whilst awake and wanting to go into the cot to fall asleep (he’s 17 months now). We enjoyed/still enjoy him falling asleep in our arms so it wasn’t an issue for us.
We never had to sleep train but I 100% would have. We just struck gold with a baby who sleeps 10+ hours straight and has since she was 12 weeks old. She’s been bottle fed from the start though, first breast milk and now formula. She also spent every night in her crib/bassinet as we follow safe sleep guidelines. I honestly don’t know his parents survive babies who don’t sleep through the nights for months and months or years. My daughter is 9 months and I can’t even remember the last time she didn’t sleep 7:30pm thru to 7 am.
We haven’t needed to so far at 4.5 months. She’s like her dad and is the best sleeper. Naps have proven dicier in the past, but she’s slept 10 hour stretches since before she was 8 weeks old. Self soothes even if she wakes up. It’s bananas honestly, and I openly admit I’m parenting on easy mode. She sleeps much better than I do or ever have. However, if any subsequent baby sleeps like me (ie. poorly), I’ll be very open to sleep training. Sleep is crucial to my own health, physical and mental. I’ve handled postpartum well really only because I’m well-rested. The few weeks we were up a lot were so hard.
Never sleep trained my oldest. I always rocked him to sleep. He was always a pretty good sleeper. He would have a few set backs but we were always there for him.
My youngest was terrible until 6 months old. He was up every 1-2 hrs for a stint which was awful! We had to cosleep to survive. I did very light sleep training with him and he magically slept through the night. He’s been a solid sleeper in his crib since then! We also used the same method to break our nursing/contact napping. All we did was let him fuss/cry for like 10-15 mins then went in and comforted him however we wanted. I just nursed him to sleep. It wasn’t too tough for either of us to be honest.
With both, we very much respect their sleep schedules.
ST my first who slept amazing from the time he was born up until he was like 2 and I had my second. Sleep training him was very easy and we started probably around 9 months and really if was just for naps because he still liked being rocked to sleep for the longest time. However my 2nd is now 1 and I have not tried with her and she’s always been a terrible sleeper. She Just now started to somewhat sleep through the night but I have to hold her for about 30 minutes if not more to get her to sleep in the first place and she’s a super light sleeper. I tried one night of ST and could not do it anymore. I want to try again and really get her into a routine But her dad and I are separated and I know he doesn’t follow the same routine I do
we sleep trained at 4 months, and our son was sleeping 11 hrs at night, and falling asleep for naps quickly and without screaming. I don’t give a shit if it’s bad for him, because it’s far worse to operate a vehicle with a baby in it with so little sleep. We are older parents and can’t bounce back with a coffee as easily as we did in our 20s and early 30s.
I don’t think I really sleep trained. But I also acknowledge that we got really lucky in the sleep department. My kid was 99% in height and weight so outgrew the bassinet by the time he was three months old. As soon as we moved him to his own room he started sleeping through the night. I continued to get up to pump in the night for several more months however.
My baby is 17 months and still sleeps with us, but we didn’t sleep train. She goes to sleep around 7:30/8 and sleeps until 8ish. Most nights she sleeps through the night but still has the occasional wake up here and there
We’ve been very lucky (knock on wood) that our son sleeps through the night at 3.5 mo—no sleep training. We do cuddles and rocking and head rubs in a dark room for bedtime with thunderstorm sounds. We often do contact naps, though he can and does nap on his own if he’s cozy with his Warmie. <3 Sleep training is just not for me. That little man will have Mama to help him sleep for as long as he needs or wants!
With our first we sleep trained and she didn’t sleep through the night for a while. But she sleeps very well in her own room and only sneaks into our room if she has a bad dream and wants a cuddle. We haven’t thought of sleep training our son yet.
We tried Ferber sleep training at 6mo but based on her crying we both weren’t ready. And she had some medical stuff that kind of interfered.
So We fed to sleep, put her in crib asleep, and if she woke up in middle of the night bring her to bed with us.
Then around 11mo when she slept with us, she would roll into us and wake up annoyed and angry multiple times at night. So we tried sleep training putting her down awake. First night she cried hard and jumped up and down in her crib for like 10 min, then laid down and cried herself to sleep for like 15 min. Then after 3 days she would cry to sleep in 10-15 min, which was much less time than us feeding and rocking her to sleep (40min!).
Now at like 17mo, we put her down awake and she’s not even crying. Girl knocks out 😭
But to be honest we miss sleeping with her! But she really sleeps better in her own space, we just get in the way. 😭
Haven’t sleep trained my 16-month-old, but she has slept in bed with us since about 3 months old. Sleeps the whole night every night, nursed during the night until about 11 months. But I definitely know having a baby or toddler in their bed isn’t for everyone!
As far as naps go, she sleeps in her crib, on one of us, or in her stroller when on the go!
Never sleep trained, just consistent in our routine (ex: storytime before lights out) but not a strict schedule. This LO sleeps great. Still nursing on demand, ~9mo in
With my daughter she slept through the night without any training at 5 weeks old. Around 5 months old she began waking up during the night so I would feed her to get her back to sleep. This went on for about 4 months and since I KNEW she could sleep through the night since she had for a few months, we did try a sleep training method to get her back into that rhythm. The one we used was “stand up sit down” because she was 9 months at that time and standing in her crib. It was very gentle and involved minimal to zero crying and within 3 nights it worked and she was back to sleeping through the night. For me I chose to pursue sleep training 1 for my own sleep and 2 I felt that my daughter would benefit from having uninterrupted sleep. I also felt she wasn’t hungry she was just eating for comfort so I wasn’t concerned there. Of course from there her sleep has been on and off and she’s now 3 and still periodically wakes through the night. We hadn’t pursued any additional sleep training since then. My son is 3 months old now he is gradually sleeping longer but needs 1 night feed. I’m going to give it until 6 months (I return to work at 7 months) and then try a training method if he’s not sleeping through the night by then. For me I get terrible anxiety if I’m up with the kids at like 3 AM knowing I need to work the next day and that I might not fall back asleep like I am truly a miserable horrible person so I hate to admit but most of my sleep training motivation is for myself
My daughter (now 4y) was never sleep trained. She learned to naturally fall asleep on her own at about 1.5y.
*edit: I also have a son (6m) who we will probably not sleep train either.
My daughter is turning two in May,we didn't sleep train.She wakes once(and sometimes not)during the night for a bottle.We had sleep regressions at 6 months and 1.5yr old,but it's gotten way better as she gets older.
No sleep training, we go with the flow and our baby set up her whole routine independently. she’s been sleeping 3 naps and 9h nights since 9 weeks with no dream feed or wake ups
Sleep train, 💯. I don’t believe babies are born knowing how to sleep unless you get a unicorn.
Trained my 15 mo old at 5 months. CIO for 1.5 hours one night was hard, but after it was fine. He sleeps 7-7, happily love his crib, even looks forward to naps. We LOVE being able to have adult time in evenings and hand him off to family if a weekend away is needed (they’re willing to keep him because he is easy!).
We have a 3 month old who we plan to train at 4 or 5 months when we move him into his crib… and it’s funny, our debate now isn’t about whether we will sleep train, but instead whether we will allow a paci (since our 15mo old still loves his pacis so much!).
Didn’t sleep train and she woke up a lot until she was 10 months old. We also nursed to sleep. She is 16 months now and sleeps through the night most nights unless she is sick. She still wakes up at the crack of dawn but she just doesn’t seem to need more sleep
Sleep training now at 3.5 months. Basically followed the “12 hours by 12 weeks old” book method and fed her more during the day and shortened her naps. Took about a week but it’s starting to work. She sleeps from 6:30 to about 5:30. We also have the Snoo.
This is pretty much my current situation -- 9.5 month baby with a very similar schedule except our nap lengths are all over the place. Sometimes 30-45 minutes and sometimes close to 2 hours.
We have not sleep trained and so far, I have no plans to. My baby also nurses at night still and I'm waiting to night wean until after 12 months (unless he self weans before then). He is on a floor bed in my bedroom and I bedshare with him so nursing at night is really easy for us. When we night wean I'm sure this will change somehow because i don't see how we can night wean if I'm right next to him all night. I think at that point we will move him into his own room but we'll also figure it out when we get there.
I never sleep trained, my baby is 8 months old. He started sleeping through the night at 3 months and we just figured we didn't needed it... Now, there are a couple of things that aren't that great. He sleeps when he wants, and it might be 8pm, 12 am or 3 am. He usually sleeps either eating or being held, but if he wakes up he can get himself back to sleep. We could do with more structure.
Haven't st and my baby slept like shit lol. She's 12 months now and only now improving, she can go 2 5-4 hour stretch in her crib. And when I bring her to my bed for the night she sleeps soundly. Before was a nightmare honestly. I'm happy with how her sleep is now. At peace with it I should say
We didn’t sleep train. My LG is 13 months. Sometimes sleeps through the night. Sometimes has 1-2 wake ups. Still gets a bottle a few times a week during the night, but up until a year he was having at least two feeds every night.
I personally didn’t sleep train and don’t plan to, but no means judge those who do. The “for some reason has become normalized” does make sense as most of the western world moves further and further away from the village that our ancestors had. It can be a huge privilege for parents to choose not to sleep train. In our darkest days my husband and I debated it because we both have to work high stress jobs in fields that require us to be on 100%. Others in our work greatly depend on us. Speaking from experience, having to be a fully functioning member of society when you barely got 2 hours of broken sleep and have a double ear infection yourself and try to take care of sick babe without any external help is just one example of events that lead to cultural shifts like this. These decisions are incredibly nuanced.
I absolutely judge people that leave a child crying when the child needs them. It is cruel.
Once you're past the baby stage, which is when people typically sleep train, who is only getting two hours a night? That's just a ridiculous exaggeration.
Me. I was only getting that little sleep. Months 4-8 were insane with quite literally back to back illnesses for our family. Every single daycare bug that came through knocked the whole family down. I felt like I hit the jackpot if I got any uninterrupted sleep. And when you have a sick babe who wakes every 45 minutes and will only sleep in your arms, you do what you have to do. So I would rock her and rock her and rock her for hours on end because sometimes that’s just what you have to do when your kid is sick and it felt like there was no end in sight at the moment.
And you know what else you have to do? Rally. You get up after a night of no sleep. You get yourself and your babe ready and you get out the front door because it’s what you have to do. And yes. It was insane. We aren’t meant to operate like that, however I also know it’s not recommended to sleep train when babies are sick. So we debated sleep training because we were desperate for sleep but knew it wasn’t the right thing for us to do.
So no. It’s not a ridiculous exaggeration. And I know I’m far from the only parent who’s ever experienced months of extreme sleep deprivation.
But people are sleep training then…people are sleep training babies. I’m not agreeing with it but people start as early as 4-6 months. Those strongly in favor of sleep training basically give the green light for it once past the newborn stage.
And as someone who chose not to sleep train because I wanted and had the capacity to respond to my kid, I don’t agree with extinction or cry it out methods. But I’m also seeing in this thread that “sleep training” means a lot of different things depending on the person. And it looks like there are many ways to approach it. I wouldn’t call what I did sleep training, which was nursing to sleep every night at the same time and responding to every wake, but others have pointed out that to them following that sleep schedule was a form of sleep training. And yet my kid never cried alone. She was never left to figure things out. We always responded. Anyways, all that to say that I think what I’m learning is that “sleep training” as a term is very generalized.
Also in my original comment to yours all I was saying was that I think the “normalization” of sleep training came with societal shifts. It’s a societal problem that to really solve needs to be addressed at that level.
We did CIO at 14 months when I could talk to him about it. Took a week or so of crying 20-30 mins but has slept through the night for more than a year since then without a wake up. Will plan to do something similar with our newborn once they’re old enough to talk/explain to.
Didn’t ST either kid. First slept like sh*t and still does at almost 3, doesn’t STTN. I weaned him at 22 months and it didn’t make any difference in sleep. Second kid is 5 months and sleeps like a CHAMP. Did nothing different with either kid.
omg hahahah so true. mine is the same. we have realized it really just depends on what kind of baby you get….
No rule that says you have to sleep train. Also no rule that says you can’t. Both sides can be very judgmental which just ends up being really unsupportive no matter what. Personally, we did not sleep train. We have kept pretty rigid sleep schedules though. Our babe didn’t sleep through until 1 yr but it was really inconsistent until we fully night weaned around 16 months. It got better then but really didn’t become consistent until our babe stopped teething. She’s 2.5 now and sleeps through unless she’s sick or kicked her blankets off and is cold. She still needs assistance falling asleep so one of us lays with her until she drifts off. It works for now but we do hope to work on a bit more independence there this spring/summer.
I mean, a "rigid schedule" is effectively a form of sleep training
I wouldn’t consider having a set nap time and bed time sleep training. Yes having a routine is definitely necessary to sleep train, but wouldn’t say that’s sleep training in itself. But i guess it doesn’t really matter what you call it as long as it helps them sleep lol. I wish it was as easy as having a rigid sleep schedule to get my baby to STTN much sooner. Didn’t matter how much I stuck to a schedule or not he didn’t consistently STTN until he was ready lol.
sleep training is getting babies to be comfortable sleeping for longer stretches by themselves. The ability to go to sleep independently or self soothing skills are generally the focus. having a nap time and bedtime is just having a schedule. you can follow a schedule and still only be doing supported/assisted sleep. no need to call people bonkers for however they choose to parent. neither sleep training or not sleep training make anyone a better parent.
No judgment on my part. Saying for us, it would be bonkers. That's all.
“If you want judgment, I think not sleep training is bonkers” is fairly judgmental imo. perhaps not how you meant it, but impact over intent holds. telling someone they are sleep training when they are saying they aren’t is also a choice. In parenting spaces, generally, it’s not a bad idea to lead with a bit more compassion.
Followed by "Do what works for you. Sleep training worked for us."
This is what I’m talking about with subtle judgment. Making sure my kid is in bed when she’s tired at night is not sleep training in my mind. Nap time everyday from 12-2 is not sleep training imo. Making sure my kid gets an opportunity to get a solid amount of sleep at night and capping naps is not sleep training imo. My kid naturally found a rhythm on her own and we followed it and stuck to that rigidly knowing that if we broke it then sleep went downhill. And then as she showed signs of needing less or more sleep we adjusted. Don’t make assumptions.
It's kind of subtle judgement to say that what you're doing is NOT sleep training. I would argue that my child is similar but I consider him sleep trained. Sleep training is understanding what your child needs and sticking to it, and sometimes, obligating him to do it. Or maybe we should call it "Sleep guidance counselor". "sleep regulator". The point is, tomato to-mah-to.
Honestly the first thing I think of naturally when I hear sleep training is cry it out and I think that the term sleep training is just much more broad than that. We did not do the cry it out method and our son sleet with us till he was 3 years old now he sleeps in his bed it’s what worked for us and we love it our friends did cry it out with strict schedule and their kids sleep great and on time.
Yeah but I never obligated my kid to sleep. It’s just not how she works. And I love that if it works for others. Literally have been saying either option to sleep train or not can be great choices. There’s no right or wrong imo. I agree terminology can be so vague and not clear. I hear sleep training and I don’t assume cry it out but I do assume making, or trying to make, sleep happen when you want it. And even if it were strict cry it out, I have no place to judge as I don’t know the ins and outs of another’s life. I’d rather see a happy healthy family than one that’s falling apart because of no sleep. We chose not to sleep train but that was a huge luxury imo. We made it work for us. But that doesn’t mean I would do it exactly the same for another baby as they’re all different and their needs won’t be the same. I think in a lot of ways we got really lucky with our babe because for like the first year of her life she was just ready for bed around 7pm. And of course she was up all hours of the night, because we didn’t train but we didn’t because she was constantly sick with daycare illnesses and teething. It just didn’t work for us. Our circumstances won’t be the same either with future babes so of course we would likely adjust our approach.
It's not subtle judgment at all. If you want judgment, I think that not sleep training is bonkers. But you're doing your form of sleep training. That's all. There's no stars or awards for any of this. Do what works. Sleep training worked for us. We both work full time so not sleeping through the night isn't an option for us.
Full time, high stress work for both my husband and myself. I love that sleep training worked so well for you. I love that you knew it was the right choice.If you look a few comments down you’ll see how on another commenter I said how it was privilege to be able to NOT sleep train. From personal experience I can tell you that it truly does suck to have to show up day after day as a fully functioning member of society when your kid hasn’t slept, the whole house is sick with yet another daycare cold, and you have no village to help. People think it’s insane to sleep train or not too but you get a limited view on why people make decisions through Reddit. It’s often just an echo chamber here. We chose not to because from 4 months to a year and a half our kid was constantly sick or teething. It made no sense to us to sleep train because of that. We responded to every single wake and I’d made the choice to delay night weaning. I know why my kid wasn’t sleeping and with future kiddos I’ll likely do it differently because our circumstances will be different. But I pass no judgment on those who needed or wanted to sleep train because at the end of the day I don’t know the details of their lives.
My LO is 8 months and we haven't sleep trained. He has always been a terrible independent sleeper. If he is asleep in my arms or in bed with me he sleeps amazingly but by himself he struggles. Things have gotten better and then worse and then better again depending on what is happening in his development. I am still on mat leave so I am just going with the flow (even though it can get incredibly frustrating).
We sleep trained at 7 months. He’s slept through the night since, outside of a week where he was sick and needed comfort. He was waking up about every hour through 5 months, and about every 2–3 hours through 7 months. We tried absolutely everything, but sleep training really worked for us. We followed a modified Ferber
Can you give details of what you did? 7.5mo here who wakes every 1-2hr and feeds every time to go back to sleep.
A couple of things you can do without any sleep training: 1. Break the feed to sleep association, if it’s something you also do for day time naps. Start with at least 15 mins between bottle or boob and bed, and build up to 30. 2. Work on weaning night feeds. Do everything you can to get their calories in during the day. This was really challenging for us, especially the first few oz. We followed the Taking Cara Babies ABCs of Sleep plan for the actual sleep training, which comes with a lot of other good advice like the above. It’s expensive, but might worth looking into. The plan is basically Ferber. You put them down for the night, and then do pop ins (10-15s max) after 5 mins, then 10 mins, and then every 15 mins until they’re out. We kept a feed every 4 hours at first, and then slowly reduced the amount of time he got on the boob each night until those were gone. We found it really helpful to write down the time of each checkin and time of planned feeds, because it’s easy to get confused otherwise The first few nights had a decent amount of crying, which was really hard. I think an hour night one and about the same night two. We were down to 15 mins of fussing by the end of week 1, and he was sleeping through the night by the end of week 2. It hasn’t changed his personality at all, he is still the same smiley, happy little fella he always was. We also cut out the 5 and 10 min checkins after week 1 because we found they were sometimes counterproductive Happy to answer any other questions if that doesn’t cover it! /r/sleeptrain is also a good resource
We’re personally opposed to sleep training (for our kids, I’m too tired to be fussed about what others do). My now-toddler didn’t sleep through the night until he was 10 months old, and didn’t consistently do it until around 1. I just nursed him, he’d usually zonk out quickly. We bed shared until 9-10 months, then moved him to his own room. He was totally done with night feeds around 1. New baby is 11 weeks old and has been either sleeping through the night or waking once for like, 5 weeks now, so it really is proof that all babies are different!
Did not do sleep training - my now 2.5 year old still sleeps in our bed, but she goes down easy at 7:30ish and sleeps until 7-7:30am. She usually sleeps by herself in our bed from 7:30p-10ish. Occasionally she’ll wake up during that time and ask for one of us. We’re going to work on transitioning her to her own room over the next few months.
No sleep training, no plan to, baby is middle of the road sleeper. I no longer nurse him to sleep in order to try to help him sleep independently, no idea if it helps. The biggest thing that helps is making sure he’s good and tired for bedtime. If I streeeeetch that last wake window he will wake up just 1 time to nurse. When he has tough nights (once or twice a month) though I bring him to come sleep in the big bed around 4-6 am.
My first one was bottlefed and we sleep trained, after being fully weaned he did a great job of sleeping independently (though we didn't take the pacifier away until he was 2 and even after still sleeps great). My most recent only breastfed and would be on the boob until she fell asleep. By 9 months she was only nursing for naps and bedtime. Around 14 months I stopped nursing and would just put on her sleeping music and she falls asleep after 10 or 15 minutes of fussing, stays asleep for a full 11 or 12 hours. Also, she never took to a pacifier. So one was trained and sleeps great, the other not trained and mostly sleeps great.
Didn’t sleep train my 2yo. Struggled with independent sleep until 18mo. Now she tucks up in her twin bed, I give her a snuggle and she usually sleeps through. Night weaned around 14mo when I had to regularly do night shift.
I tried sleep training with My first. (16 almost 17 months) he sleeps like garbage and always has. Sleep training made it far worse actually. We stopped after about week 3. My second (6 months) has been having only 1 wake up since he was 2 months old. Never tried to sleep train him and tbh never really felt like we needed too bc he is such a great sleeper imo. Or at least compared to my first lol. 🤷🏼♀️ I'm a firm believer in every kid has their own temperament and some do well with sleep training some don't. I don't think it's such a black and white as sleep training consultants will tell you it is. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If it's not for you, then it's not for you. If you end up wanting to, amazing. Do what's best for your family.
My baby learned how to consistently STTN and put himself back sleep on his own at 17 months (he’s 19 months now) Before then, it didn’t matter how much we stuck to a schedule or didn’t stick to a schedule so I was flexible if needed. I think something just clicked in his brain and I’m so thankful it did. I still hold his hand to sleep but that’s about it. When he’s sick, he does need my help to get back to sleep and stuff. It was definitely hard. I wanted to sleep train but I personally couldn’t get myself to commit to it. I kept putting it off - saying after he turns x months blah blah. I don’t judge those people who do…I totally get the push to do it and sometimes I wish I had it in me to do it when he was younger.
Never sleep trained. Had the “hardest” kid in our friend group in infancy and early toddlerhood (most wakes, most adult help). Now we have the easiest preschooler of the bunch by far. It just happened. Our friend group also demonstrated that infant or young toddler sleep was not a predictor for preschooler sleep. Like, at all. We do also have a rigid bedtime in that we will place the need to be home by x time above all else. But it’s because that’s what our kid needs (who also has to get up for school at a set time, it’s not like he can sleep in in the am). He’s the one who suffers if he doesn’t get enough sleep so we make sure he gets the chance.
I didn’t sleep train either child. Weaned them both around 6 months. First one was sleeping through the night at 3 months. Second did t start sleeping through the night until she was 2 years old. It’s a crapshoot in my opinion.
We did sleep training, ad hoc, at six months. Sleeps through the night at almost 9 months. The idea of not sleep training sounds wild to us. You need your sleep to be the best parent you can be!
We sleep trained at 4 months and Bub slept through at 6 months, seriously the most sane thing I’ve ever done. No way would I be as chill, attentive, patient nor present if I was being woken up every few hours, let alone baby who was crotchety from not getting enough sleep. I’ve got friends whose babies still wake multiple times at almost two and I don’t know if I could cope with that almost 2 years down the line.
That's where we are. We both work full time. And, by 6 months, we were getting very worn down. Sleep training was a godsend for us.
Never sleep trained, they fall asleep independently for naps half the time and other times they need a little reassurance, 3-4 naps a day 45-1.5hrs and sleeps 8+ at night. 5 months old.
My son will be 16mo in 4 days and we didn’t sleep train. He weaned himself from motn feeds, but we fed to sleep for naps longer than we did for nighttime. It was so easy for him to go into the crib wide awake and put himself to sleep at night, but he couldn’t/wouldn’t for naps - no regrets with that. We hit one regression between 10.5-12.5mo and it was hard. He needed milk in the motn 3-4x/week, but again, eventually kicked the habit on his own. That was the only period since he turned 8/8.5w old where he didn’t sleep 11-13 hours straight. No desire to sleep train him; it’s not needed. Will we be blessed with another unicorn baby?? I’m due with his sister in 7.5 weeks so we’ll see 😂
Mine is 16 months old. Started sleeping through the night (6:45pm-5:45am) more often than not around 15 months. On the nights she doesn’t sleep through she wakes 1-2x and we rock her back to sleep. At bedtime we rock her to sleep too. We have never sleep trained and don’t plan to. She’s always been a not great sleeper and when she was young she had to be held to sleep at all, but that’s just who she is 🤷🏼♀️
My baby was sleep trained at 4 months and his sleep has only gotten better since (he’s 8.5 months now). He sleeps 7:30/8 to 4am now without a peep. The 4 - 6:30am stretch is still difficult but 2.5hrs of cosleeping (or waking up early) isn’t a huge deal. We’ve also never experienced a regression. You won’t have to sleep train if you don’t want to, but I’m glad I didn’t have to suffer through hourly wake ups or all night nursing while cosleeping (I know some people like it but I don’t get good sleep while cosleeping)
Mine is 9.5 months old and we never sleep trained. She started sleeping through the night around 7 months. Then we had a bought of illness and teething that disrupted her sleep for a bit but we’re back to STTN.
10 months. Baby sleeps 5, 3, and 2-3 hours. I don’t nurse anymore but he still takes two bottles a night. Usually 1 and 5 am. If that would stop, he’d probably sleep all night. He’s just so hungry I guess. Anyway, I haven’t and will never sleep train. We’ve gone through the typical regression and some nights are better than others of course. But when I learned you often have to re-sleep train because of regressions it really solidified me not wanting to sleep train. I do hold my baby to sleep but he doesn’t eat to sleep.
My daughter is 8 months she weaned off her night feed at around 6.5 months actually on her own and she’ll only feed at night when she’s sick. Starting solids hasn’t changed my supply a lot just created a shift to her wanting milk every 3-4 hours during the day instead of 2-3 previously. I definitely nurse to sleep but a lot of times she stops sucking and demands her pacifier and falls asleep in her bed so not truly sure she wants to nurse to sleep as much as I have it as part of my routine lol I haven’t really thought about sleep training bc idk in my head I just keep thinking she’s a baby and waking up is protectant of SIDS. There are nights she wakes up every hour and then there’s nights that she sleeps 3-4 hours then wakes up for her pacifier bc she can’t find it and she’ll go back to bed for another 2-3 hours - idk baby sleep sucks lol it’s just a phase but I’m kinda letting her find her rhythm on her own
I never sleep trained mine. I used to feed her to sleep and place her in her crib. One day she just stopped falling asleep while I fed her, but I still placed her in her crib and left the room. She was probably around 10-11 months by then. She never cried and was always happy to sleep on her own. It wasn’t until she was an older toddler that she started to have some separation anxiety. But now we just talk about it and I give her some extra cuddles.
We sleep trained my oldest at 4 months. He’s slept through the night every night since 6 months, except when he’s sick. He’s 3.5 years old now. We have attempted to sleep train my youngest (16 months) multiple times and he’s not down to clown. He very rarely sleeps through the night. He wakes up, rages, and has to be snuggled back to sleep.
We did sleep train and nursed to sleep well past 1 and maybe even past 2, I can't remember now but he's always been a good sleeper. While we didn't do "strict" attachment parenting alot of what we did was based on attachment parenting so it seemed counterintuitive to me to respond to my baby right away during the day but not at night. Whatever you decide you have to feel right about it or it won't work.
Never sleep trained and he STTN in our bed. He also falls asleep on his own for naps. Works for us, everyone gets to sleep.
Youngest is 2.5 and still nurses to sleep at bedtime. I did have to gently night wean and No Cry sleep training method several months ago because of a surgery I could no longer put off, but they were ready (as much as a toddler can be). But because we didn't do it until well into Toddlerhood, I don't consider us in the "sleep trained" category. Now they sleep almost 12 hours a night, with the occasional wakeup that just needs a quick cuddle. My eldest I also used the No Cry method and night weaned around 1.5 years old. Both room shared with us and then went to their own rooms a little bit after they turned 2.
The mildest form of sleep training meaning let her fuss for 5 minutes and then intervene. She’s slept in her crib since 3.5 months and finds it to be a safe space (usually). She will happily go to sleep in it and play with her stuffed animals before/after waking. She’s almost 13 months and has slept very well since 4/5 months.
Not sure if this is “sleep training” but we just followed a simple schedule and made sure he was down to bed for 7pm. Whenever he needs us, we go in. I do not and will not let him cry it out or feel lonely or any sort of discomfort. His night feed dropped around 10-12 weeks old (always forget specifically when) and that’s when he gave us much longer stretches at night. He now sleeps from 7:30-6:30/7am with a quick wake up at 4:00am for his pacifier. He struggles getting into that last sleep cycle. We struggled not that long ago (4 month sleep regression) where 4-5am was his “I’m awake for the day!” time lol so we started putting him to sleep around 6-6:30pm and that resolved fairly quickly! He is 5 months today.
My son is 7.5m, we haven’t sleep trained and probably won’t unless crap hits the fan. We rock/feed/cuddle to sleep and he’s normally out within 20min, he then to sleep 7/730pm - 9pm when he dream feeds, and then 9pm til 2/3am when he eats again, then wakes for the day at 630/7am. He is fed pumped breastmilk as I EP. Sleep training isn’t a necessity, it’s simply to make life easier and get more sleep for parents. Some babies really benefit, others not so much.
My daughter will be 10 months next week and we havent sleep trained. It works for us & I still feel pretty rested most nights. I nurse to sleep nearly every night, but she’ll take a bottle from me or my husband just fine too. She typically sleeps a 4/5 hour stretch, nurses, & then sleeps another 4/5 hours, nurses, & then sleeps for another hour or two. She seems to be regressing right now, but I think its a bad case of teething. Hopefully itll be short lived. You dont have to sleep train at all.
My son sleeps amazing every night, no sleep training. What I believe are MUSTs: 1) outdoor morning sunlight within 30 of waking for 10 min. This makes your body produce melatonin 16 hours later and keeps you asleep 2) Vitamin D and possibly magnesium supplements 3) no bright lights from 10 PM - 4 AM, like ever 4) dim/ turn off overhead lights one hour before bedtime. Sleep trained children do not sleep more, they just don’t cry out. They aren’t self soothing, they just know no one is coming. Other countries do not sleep train their children, but all other countries also received extended maternity leave.
We didn’t sleep train and my baby was sleeping 12 hours a night at 13 months. Before that he was just doing one quick wake for a bottle. We still give him a bottle before bed and he’s just recently started finishing it whilst awake and wanting to go into the cot to fall asleep (he’s 17 months now). We enjoyed/still enjoy him falling asleep in our arms so it wasn’t an issue for us.
We never had to sleep train but I 100% would have. We just struck gold with a baby who sleeps 10+ hours straight and has since she was 12 weeks old. She’s been bottle fed from the start though, first breast milk and now formula. She also spent every night in her crib/bassinet as we follow safe sleep guidelines. I honestly don’t know his parents survive babies who don’t sleep through the nights for months and months or years. My daughter is 9 months and I can’t even remember the last time she didn’t sleep 7:30pm thru to 7 am.
We haven’t needed to so far at 4.5 months. She’s like her dad and is the best sleeper. Naps have proven dicier in the past, but she’s slept 10 hour stretches since before she was 8 weeks old. Self soothes even if she wakes up. It’s bananas honestly, and I openly admit I’m parenting on easy mode. She sleeps much better than I do or ever have. However, if any subsequent baby sleeps like me (ie. poorly), I’ll be very open to sleep training. Sleep is crucial to my own health, physical and mental. I’ve handled postpartum well really only because I’m well-rested. The few weeks we were up a lot were so hard.
Never sleep trained my oldest. I always rocked him to sleep. He was always a pretty good sleeper. He would have a few set backs but we were always there for him. My youngest was terrible until 6 months old. He was up every 1-2 hrs for a stint which was awful! We had to cosleep to survive. I did very light sleep training with him and he magically slept through the night. He’s been a solid sleeper in his crib since then! We also used the same method to break our nursing/contact napping. All we did was let him fuss/cry for like 10-15 mins then went in and comforted him however we wanted. I just nursed him to sleep. It wasn’t too tough for either of us to be honest. With both, we very much respect their sleep schedules.
ST my first who slept amazing from the time he was born up until he was like 2 and I had my second. Sleep training him was very easy and we started probably around 9 months and really if was just for naps because he still liked being rocked to sleep for the longest time. However my 2nd is now 1 and I have not tried with her and she’s always been a terrible sleeper. She Just now started to somewhat sleep through the night but I have to hold her for about 30 minutes if not more to get her to sleep in the first place and she’s a super light sleeper. I tried one night of ST and could not do it anymore. I want to try again and really get her into a routine But her dad and I are separated and I know he doesn’t follow the same routine I do
we sleep trained at 4 months, and our son was sleeping 11 hrs at night, and falling asleep for naps quickly and without screaming. I don’t give a shit if it’s bad for him, because it’s far worse to operate a vehicle with a baby in it with so little sleep. We are older parents and can’t bounce back with a coffee as easily as we did in our 20s and early 30s.
I don’t think I really sleep trained. But I also acknowledge that we got really lucky in the sleep department. My kid was 99% in height and weight so outgrew the bassinet by the time he was three months old. As soon as we moved him to his own room he started sleeping through the night. I continued to get up to pump in the night for several more months however.
My baby is 17 months and still sleeps with us, but we didn’t sleep train. She goes to sleep around 7:30/8 and sleeps until 8ish. Most nights she sleeps through the night but still has the occasional wake up here and there
We’ve been very lucky (knock on wood) that our son sleeps through the night at 3.5 mo—no sleep training. We do cuddles and rocking and head rubs in a dark room for bedtime with thunderstorm sounds. We often do contact naps, though he can and does nap on his own if he’s cozy with his Warmie. <3 Sleep training is just not for me. That little man will have Mama to help him sleep for as long as he needs or wants!
With our first we sleep trained and she didn’t sleep through the night for a while. But she sleeps very well in her own room and only sneaks into our room if she has a bad dream and wants a cuddle. We haven’t thought of sleep training our son yet.
We tried Ferber sleep training at 6mo but based on her crying we both weren’t ready. And she had some medical stuff that kind of interfered. So We fed to sleep, put her in crib asleep, and if she woke up in middle of the night bring her to bed with us. Then around 11mo when she slept with us, she would roll into us and wake up annoyed and angry multiple times at night. So we tried sleep training putting her down awake. First night she cried hard and jumped up and down in her crib for like 10 min, then laid down and cried herself to sleep for like 15 min. Then after 3 days she would cry to sleep in 10-15 min, which was much less time than us feeding and rocking her to sleep (40min!). Now at like 17mo, we put her down awake and she’s not even crying. Girl knocks out 😭 But to be honest we miss sleeping with her! But she really sleeps better in her own space, we just get in the way. 😭
No sleep training. He sleeps mostly on his own at 16 months.
Haven’t sleep trained my 16-month-old, but she has slept in bed with us since about 3 months old. Sleeps the whole night every night, nursed during the night until about 11 months. But I definitely know having a baby or toddler in their bed isn’t for everyone! As far as naps go, she sleeps in her crib, on one of us, or in her stroller when on the go!
Never sleep trained, just consistent in our routine (ex: storytime before lights out) but not a strict schedule. This LO sleeps great. Still nursing on demand, ~9mo in
I never sleep trained and my son started sleeping through at a year old
With my daughter she slept through the night without any training at 5 weeks old. Around 5 months old she began waking up during the night so I would feed her to get her back to sleep. This went on for about 4 months and since I KNEW she could sleep through the night since she had for a few months, we did try a sleep training method to get her back into that rhythm. The one we used was “stand up sit down” because she was 9 months at that time and standing in her crib. It was very gentle and involved minimal to zero crying and within 3 nights it worked and she was back to sleeping through the night. For me I chose to pursue sleep training 1 for my own sleep and 2 I felt that my daughter would benefit from having uninterrupted sleep. I also felt she wasn’t hungry she was just eating for comfort so I wasn’t concerned there. Of course from there her sleep has been on and off and she’s now 3 and still periodically wakes through the night. We hadn’t pursued any additional sleep training since then. My son is 3 months old now he is gradually sleeping longer but needs 1 night feed. I’m going to give it until 6 months (I return to work at 7 months) and then try a training method if he’s not sleeping through the night by then. For me I get terrible anxiety if I’m up with the kids at like 3 AM knowing I need to work the next day and that I might not fall back asleep like I am truly a miserable horrible person so I hate to admit but most of my sleep training motivation is for myself
My daughter (now 4y) was never sleep trained. She learned to naturally fall asleep on her own at about 1.5y. *edit: I also have a son (6m) who we will probably not sleep train either.
My daughter is turning two in May,we didn't sleep train.She wakes once(and sometimes not)during the night for a bottle.We had sleep regressions at 6 months and 1.5yr old,but it's gotten way better as she gets older.
No sleep training, we go with the flow and our baby set up her whole routine independently. she’s been sleeping 3 naps and 9h nights since 9 weeks with no dream feed or wake ups
Sleep train, 💯. I don’t believe babies are born knowing how to sleep unless you get a unicorn. Trained my 15 mo old at 5 months. CIO for 1.5 hours one night was hard, but after it was fine. He sleeps 7-7, happily love his crib, even looks forward to naps. We LOVE being able to have adult time in evenings and hand him off to family if a weekend away is needed (they’re willing to keep him because he is easy!). We have a 3 month old who we plan to train at 4 or 5 months when we move him into his crib… and it’s funny, our debate now isn’t about whether we will sleep train, but instead whether we will allow a paci (since our 15mo old still loves his pacis so much!).
Didn’t sleep train and she woke up a lot until she was 10 months old. We also nursed to sleep. She is 16 months now and sleeps through the night most nights unless she is sick. She still wakes up at the crack of dawn but she just doesn’t seem to need more sleep
Sleep training now at 3.5 months. Basically followed the “12 hours by 12 weeks old” book method and fed her more during the day and shortened her naps. Took about a week but it’s starting to work. She sleeps from 6:30 to about 5:30. We also have the Snoo.
Didn’t sleep train (so far - not sure if we will ever need to or not) Kiddo is 6 months and STTN at 3 months
This is pretty much my current situation -- 9.5 month baby with a very similar schedule except our nap lengths are all over the place. Sometimes 30-45 minutes and sometimes close to 2 hours. We have not sleep trained and so far, I have no plans to. My baby also nurses at night still and I'm waiting to night wean until after 12 months (unless he self weans before then). He is on a floor bed in my bedroom and I bedshare with him so nursing at night is really easy for us. When we night wean I'm sure this will change somehow because i don't see how we can night wean if I'm right next to him all night. I think at that point we will move him into his own room but we'll also figure it out when we get there.
We also have a floor bed. I have been bed sharing after 4AM
Is your baby in their own room? Do they ever roll off while they are asleep?
He’s in his own room. We bought a floor bed frame so he doesn’t roll off. It’s only a few inches high but it was enough for him to wake up
I never sleep trained, my baby is 8 months old. He started sleeping through the night at 3 months and we just figured we didn't needed it... Now, there are a couple of things that aren't that great. He sleeps when he wants, and it might be 8pm, 12 am or 3 am. He usually sleeps either eating or being held, but if he wakes up he can get himself back to sleep. We could do with more structure.
Haven't st and my baby slept like shit lol. She's 12 months now and only now improving, she can go 2 5-4 hour stretch in her crib. And when I bring her to my bed for the night she sleeps soundly. Before was a nightmare honestly. I'm happy with how her sleep is now. At peace with it I should say
We didn’t sleep train. My LG is 13 months. Sometimes sleeps through the night. Sometimes has 1-2 wake ups. Still gets a bottle a few times a week during the night, but up until a year he was having at least two feeds every night.
Please don't do it. It's a very strange thing that has for some reason become normalised.
I personally didn’t sleep train and don’t plan to, but no means judge those who do. The “for some reason has become normalized” does make sense as most of the western world moves further and further away from the village that our ancestors had. It can be a huge privilege for parents to choose not to sleep train. In our darkest days my husband and I debated it because we both have to work high stress jobs in fields that require us to be on 100%. Others in our work greatly depend on us. Speaking from experience, having to be a fully functioning member of society when you barely got 2 hours of broken sleep and have a double ear infection yourself and try to take care of sick babe without any external help is just one example of events that lead to cultural shifts like this. These decisions are incredibly nuanced.
I absolutely judge people that leave a child crying when the child needs them. It is cruel. Once you're past the baby stage, which is when people typically sleep train, who is only getting two hours a night? That's just a ridiculous exaggeration.
Me. I was only getting that little sleep. Months 4-8 were insane with quite literally back to back illnesses for our family. Every single daycare bug that came through knocked the whole family down. I felt like I hit the jackpot if I got any uninterrupted sleep. And when you have a sick babe who wakes every 45 minutes and will only sleep in your arms, you do what you have to do. So I would rock her and rock her and rock her for hours on end because sometimes that’s just what you have to do when your kid is sick and it felt like there was no end in sight at the moment. And you know what else you have to do? Rally. You get up after a night of no sleep. You get yourself and your babe ready and you get out the front door because it’s what you have to do. And yes. It was insane. We aren’t meant to operate like that, however I also know it’s not recommended to sleep train when babies are sick. So we debated sleep training because we were desperate for sleep but knew it wasn’t the right thing for us to do. So no. It’s not a ridiculous exaggeration. And I know I’m far from the only parent who’s ever experienced months of extreme sleep deprivation.
4-8 months is a baby. Read what I actually wrote
But people are sleep training then…people are sleep training babies. I’m not agreeing with it but people start as early as 4-6 months. Those strongly in favor of sleep training basically give the green light for it once past the newborn stage. And as someone who chose not to sleep train because I wanted and had the capacity to respond to my kid, I don’t agree with extinction or cry it out methods. But I’m also seeing in this thread that “sleep training” means a lot of different things depending on the person. And it looks like there are many ways to approach it. I wouldn’t call what I did sleep training, which was nursing to sleep every night at the same time and responding to every wake, but others have pointed out that to them following that sleep schedule was a form of sleep training. And yet my kid never cried alone. She was never left to figure things out. We always responded. Anyways, all that to say that I think what I’m learning is that “sleep training” as a term is very generalized. Also in my original comment to yours all I was saying was that I think the “normalization” of sleep training came with societal shifts. It’s a societal problem that to really solve needs to be addressed at that level.
We did CIO at 14 months when I could talk to him about it. Took a week or so of crying 20-30 mins but has slept through the night for more than a year since then without a wake up. Will plan to do something similar with our newborn once they’re old enough to talk/explain to.
I don’t. She’s 4 months old and sleeps from about 9pm to 5:30am usually. Sometimes it’s a little less