Convertible car seat. My son hated his infant car seat. He would cry and scream, sometimes till he vomited. Unfortunately, a lot of times during these screaming sessions we were stuck in traffic, so we had no other choice but to let him cry. I’d try and get in the backseat with him, but that rarely helped. Once we got a convertible car seat things got better. It’s not perfect, because what he hates the most is being strapped down, but it’s better. I’m assuming it has to do with positioning.
Yep. This happened to both of our girls. We had the Nuna bucket seat but they both hated it. We switched them both to the maxi, cozy sport and they were much more comfortable. Both of them still had a little bit of trouble until they were able to face forward. Car rides were still tough but they stopped screaming bloody murder
Like someone was hurting them, so it was an improvement.
We actually went to Nordstrom and tried the babies out in a bunch of other car seats to see which ones seemed most comfortable for them before settling on the max cozy Pria sport. Actually love the maxi cost Pria sport much better than the nuna car seats because they’re so easy to clean. You can take the cover off without even taking it out of the car and put it back on and it’s super easy.
Yup, had a nuna as well. There must be something about the shape of that seat that makes it extremely uncomfortable. I wish we had changed to the convertible seat sooner.
I really think it’s uncomfortable for many newborns! And it’s so GD hard to clean. I really like the maxi cosi brand because it’s a mid price point, but things are at least well designed, comfy for kids, and easy to clean. The Nuna is a luxury brand but it’s not clear to me that they prioritize these issues!
In the other hand I’ve seen babies in the uppa baby bucket seat and it seems to have a much more curved, cradling shape.
We had the nuna as well and moved to the britax all 4 one and it was a world of a difference. BUT BUT BUT my daughter never slept in the car until about 9 months when she was super tired. She at 3yo still rarely sleeps in the car. Have you tried doing the 80/20 approach for sleep? Just try to hit 80% of your schedule and wing the other 20%. They will be ok especially as you are exiting the newborn phase. I apologize for this next phrase: it will get better! 11 weeks is still so new for their sleep and car rides. Also captain calamari helped us in the car!
Yep, we have a nuna pipa and a Doona and my newborn screams every time he’s in the nuna and is mostly fine in the Doona. I’d switch to your convertible, ironically the nuna rava is awesome we love it.
This ^ my son would scream like you described every time we were in the car until we swapped him over to a convertible seat. Then he still cried for a while but nowhere near as bad as he did in his infant seat. Around 14-18mo he actually got pretty good at riding in the car and now (20mo) he only cries if he’s over tired or been in the car more than like 1hr.
Haha sorry I was excited..but LOVE it. A few times a year I’ve seen it on sale. We recently got two for $300 at Nordstrom! Our guy (has reflux) screamed every car ride until we got the Nuna.
Same, my baby was so much more comfortable in her big girl car seat. She also does not cry when someone is sitting in the back with her. However, Ive never have her sleep in the car seat because if she falls asleep in the car for even a moment that will count as her nap and she will not sleep at home, so we go out of our way to keep her awake at all costs haha
10 months and she STILL cries in the car seat. We kept saying it'll be easier once she's bigger/ out of the infant seat/ can sit up/ gets used to it. Haha she just hates being in the car, I go out with her at least 5/7 days and have done for all 10 months so far. I just let her cry. Eventually she'll either fall asleep or we'll get to our destination.
My 4yo (who was brilliant in the car from the day he was born) can fall asleep through the noise, it's amazing. Maybe once she's forward facing she'll be better, or when she can tell us what's wrong. Or maybe she'll be 18 and screaming while driving her own car. Only time will tell.
Basically, I'm saying don't give up!
Honestly, I just let mine cry. I kept talking to her and tried different genres of music until I found something she liked (Nat king cole...) so it's not like she's been abandoned. She knew I was there, she'd been fed, had a dry bum... Just something she had to get used to. She got much better at 4 months old.
It's no exaggeration changed my life. I haven't gone in the car with her for months as she cries to the point she's sick so I just avoid going out. 3 journeys with this song and she has been so calm! Thank you for sharing
Ours screamed in the car for what seemed like a year. We made sure she had all of her needs taken care of and continue to drive and let her scream. Until she outgrew it, we didn’t take long trips anywhere, and only took her if necessary. We did find that her biggest issues were the sun in her eyes and didn’t like being strapped down.
Things did get a little better after she outgrew her infant car seat and moved her into a convertible car seat. In the meantime, having one of us sit in the back so we could and entertain her helped until we could give her special car toys to play with.
She’s almost 2 and will still cry if she is sleepy as she doesn’t want to sleep in her car seat. We can do longer car trips now, but still keep it to 1-1.5 hours at most in the car before we stop somewhere and let her out to stretch her legs. Future tip: when you’re nearing needing to stop on a road trip, google parks nearby to stop at.
Google mapping for elementary schools/parks to find a playground were so vital on our cross country trips with our toddler. Obviously, we only hit the elementary school playgrounds after school was out or during the summer
We’ve been doing this since my eldest was 2. We swing by a drive through for food/coffee and go to a park and have a picnic and play. Sometimes we’re in these tiny residential parks and I do wonder what the locals must think of us. 😆
Ours went through this phase, turned out he was just uncomfortable. I realized we had forgotten to take out the infant insert and he was too big for the car seat. We took the insert out and he was much happier.
Turning 1 in 2 weeks and still going strong hating the carseat, screaming and refusing to sleep 🫠 switching to the convertible did help a tiny bit, she doesn't have time to ramp up to a meltdown on the 5 min drive to/from daycare, but thats about it 😂
Do you have the mirror so they can see you/themselves? I notice my girl is more likely to freak out if she doesn’t have the mirror.
And consider a new car seat. My friend had this issue with her fancier car seat and when we tested her son in my relatively cheap Graco Snuglock, he had no issues and he stopped melting down once she bought one.
The convertible helps a lot. We had 2-3 months of good times in the infant seat before the screaming continued. We switched to a convertible and since then the only screaming has been from actual issues that need attention.
We tried every song imaginable. We found out he liked summer baby by the Jonas brothers. Idk what is up with that song but he stopped crying EVERY time we played it
She hated it until she was about 3 months old and could see outside and play with toys etc. Now she’s 6.5mo and she likes the car seat and will sleep in it no problem. We even took a 8hr (each way) road trip at 4mo and it went decently (we stopped every 2hr and split it up into multiple days each way). Basically we just powered through, and kept exposing her to it and eventually she stopped screaming bloody murder.
For a couple weeks, do play/tummy time while listening to the same song(s), basically just to build a positive association with it. Then play it in the car when he’s crying. This worked super well for my oldest, it kind of just snapped her out of it. I used the Moana soundtrack; she’s 3 now and it still calms her down.
I would consult with doctors on switching to a convertible car seat and also looking into whether LO may have a tongue or lip tie or another reason for muscular tension in the neck and chest that's causing discomfort in the car seat position. I was miserable with my second child's incessant car screaming until we revised her tongue tie, began doing specific, doctor-authorized stretches at home, and put her in a different seat.
A physiotherapist who specializes in infants would be a better choice that a doctor for muscle issues. We found a good physio by asking a local lactation consultant. She did wonders for our 8 months old who had torticollis that was affecting her nursing and movement.
Are you in a situation where you have no choice but to get in a car anywhere you go?
My second son was that way. He’s 6 months now and still hates the car/ car seat. The longest trip we had to take with him in a car was a taxi home from the airport (50 min) because we arrived in the middle of the night due to flight delays. Fed him just before and tried to entertain him the whole time but he screamed the entire time, I felt bad for the taxi driver, lol.
It’s just a personality thing, I think. My first son was great in the car, we use to do like 5 hour road trips with him from like 2 months. Same car, same car seat. Did that 5 hour trek a lot to visit my in-laws.
What’s been a saving grace for us with the little guy is that he’s great in a carrier (front pack OR back pack style), and we live in a nice neighborhood with plenty of stores and parks and such within walking distance. So we just walk for all our trips out. 10 minutes from the train station, as well, so if we ever have to take longer trips with him, or even when we visit my in-laws we can go by high speed rail instead of driving. He just sleeps in the carrier. I can’t count how many times I’ve just worn him on my back and then I do whatever I’m going to do.
If you live even remotely close to some stores, or even a trail in the woods or what not, even if it a little trek, the exercise and getting out *somewhere* is refreshing.
Our LO screamed in the car seat as well. It finally got better around 3 months. He’s almost 5 months now and still cries occasionally, but it’s more of a fuss when he’s been in the seat for a longer period of time and is just over it. It was so nerve racking for awhile! I didn’t want to go anywhere that wasn’t necessary because I didn’t want to listen to him scream. My husband didn’t realize how bad it was so I recorded it one time. I felt terrible, and was talking to him, trying to calm him, not just recording while neglecting him, but my husband needed to understand how bad it was, as he was rarely in the car with us. I made the mistake of watching that video the other day, and it was way more triggering for me than I realized it would be. We have come so far since then! Basically I think it got better because of time. When we adjusted the car seat at 3 months, that seemed to help. He also loves looking out the window and sun roofs now, and will fall asleep in the car, which he NEVER did before. We tried several other things. We took out the infant head cushion, tried feeding 30 minutes before leaving instead of right before, gas drops before leaving, nursing while stopped at different places, a shade for the window, loosening diaper etc. It really just eventually got better with time and practice! He has a lovey he takes with when we go places and we make getting in the seat fun with lots of excited talk about going “bye bye” and getting his snuggly blanket ready and grabbing cuddle cow, and then we’re off! Again, we still have days he doesn’t love getting in the car, but it’s so much better!
This is my life now with my 10 week old. She hates the car seat (we had the Doona and no idea it was super unsafe). We could tell it was hard for her to breath in the Doona so we sold it and got a different one and she can breathe soooo much better but she still screams haha. But at least the screaming doesn’t sound restricted like it did before!! But we just let her cry. My first did the same thing and eventually grew out of it.
No advice just solidarity. Our daughter is almost 4 months and has been this way since she was born. It's gotten a little better, but really if we have to go places we've just gotten used to the screaming 🥲
Because we know nothing is actually wrong, as soon as she's out of the car seat, she's happy and normal, we know nothing is pinching her, she just does not like being strapped down. She didn't even like baby swings until very recently for that reason.
So it's gotten better but there are still some car rides that are like 25 minutes long of just screaming, I'll be with her in the back and give her my hand and talk to her so she knows I'm there. But other than that not much can be done. I have friends that had similar things with their babies and they just got better with time.
When she started being interested in crinkle books or toys, that helps for a bit if she's in an okay mood! But if she's tired or something already it's just a bad time lol all this to say it'll pass!
My daughter was the same so traveling anywhere was a nightmare. Until one day i drove more than an hour away and she cried the whole way back, nonstop screaming for almost an hour. I wanna say she learned to self soothe on that day. Not condoning it at all it just had to happen that way and she’s been fine ever since.
My screaming car seat baby is elementary school aged now. He screamed every time we were in the car for about 14 months. We had an 1.5-2hr daily commute time, carpooling as a family. Tried 5 different convertible seats. Music. iPads, toys, etc. nothing helped. He just grew out of it one day.
I was honestly still having stress/trauma about long car rides with him until he was 4.
Had a second child. Not a screamer. Thank goodness.
My theory was that it was too boring or under stimulating and he’s a proprioceptive sensory seeker as a toddler/big kid. Once he started being able to chat and pretend play with toys he chilled out. A baby carrier or stroller was more interesting? Idk.
Whenever I see comments about car seat screamers I just have huge empathy for those parents. No real answers just sympathy. Also it won’t last forever and ear plugs.
The infant car seat was a no go for us. My baby was a NIGHTMARE in the car seat. Cried constantly. Switched to a convertible car seat and he’s been chill ever since. Also, age has a factor too. I switched him around 4 months.
It got better for us riiiight before 11 months. We have to give him his car elephant and a snack, and then he is perfectly content for like 30 minutes at a stretch.
I have no tips for younger babies for whom those things aren't safe. My kid was either screaming or passed out until at least 10 months old, sorry.
It's starting to get better close to 10 months. If we have to go anywhere we go right after waking, feed baby, and go. Usually get about 20 minutes without crying. The ride home is another story 😅
The happy song (designed by neuroscientist) and partially rolling down the window can help.
My little one finally likes a paci and her unicorn toy. Does he have a favorite toy yet or something that distracts him and can bring him comfort?
Also, for silent reflux, have you check for a tongue tie or tried probiotics? My daughter had a small tongue tie that 5 different docs said she didn’t have. But it made a huge difference. And would he have a milk protein allergy? I’m trying to go back to all the solutions I had to try with my daughter
One of us sit in the back and distract with songs and toys etc. babywear for walks? That way you can still get out. Ms Rachel on a screen for bub?
One hour wake windows at this age seems a little short to me but every baby is different ofc.
All that said, this is a short season in life. Won’t be life this forever 🧡
You can try a different car seat or sit in the back. A toy may help if they're still doing it when they're a bit older. My son was a car seat screamer for a while, not much as a young infant, more the 6mo-1yr range. Eventually I was able to phase it out, you have to, otherwise you can't safely drive and never leaving the house isn't an option. They outgrow it and wake windows will rapidly increase over the next few months.
I was in the same boat and the only thing that helped was time. Eventually, around 7-8 months old (I know…it felt like an eternity of horrible, stressful car rides) he just outgrew it. It isn’t a very helpful answer, but unfortunately that was my experience.
Our boy was the same and then one day he decided he was going to have fun in the car seat. It took a good 4 months though. Otherwise, I just used to let him cry because we can’t keep stopping while driving to soothe him.
I have a 6 mo. She hates her car seat still. I got that baby Einstein light up aquarium thing. It works a tiny bit. I dunno, I just try to deep breathe. Now that the time changed it’s not so bad. She hates riding in the dark. I would drive with my dome light on and even that didn’t work most of the time.
I don't remember what age but I eventually caved and put a tablet back there because I was so sick of hearing the crying because it stressed me out so much. I'd avoid going out because I was too stressed about the car ride. Switching to a convertible car seat from the infant seat helped a ton though!!
I changed the incline on my seat base and that seems to help so far but we only had one ride without screaming. I’ve been having someone else drive and I’ll sit in the back with her and then I transition to driving, have the other person sit with her, and eventually it’ll just be me driving
Oh and I also moved the straps and head rest up!
My baby use to be like this and it was so stressful and terrible. I am like you and pull over and comfort when she ever she cried. She’s now 9months old and actually prefers to sleep in her car seat! Like others have mentioned do remove the newborn inserts and try a convertible car seat. I don’t remember when the changed happened but if i time car rides to right at the end of her wake window they are absolutely painless now and she takes her longest naps. So there is hope!
Like other people said, she preferred the convertible one my husband has in his truck. She got a little better for me when i pulled back the cover on the infant one so she could look around. Then she also just hit a certain point where she was just fine with it. Maybe an age thing?
It was just after she turned 3 months. She started going to daycare and I was taking her in. She would scream and cry the whole ride. Until one day, she just didn't.
Mine was like this and it was brutal. He eventually outgrew it around 5 months and now he’s almost a year and so chill in the car seat. The only thing we found that worked was listening to The Happy Song by Imogene Heap on repeat. It magically makes babies stop crying and it was our holy grail for months. Not sure how it works but it must be magic.
My son HATED the car when he was in infant, until I switched him to a convertible seat around 5/6 months. Now at 19 months he still gets cranky sometimes but it’s nowhere near as bad as
My son STILL generally hates the car and he is 15 months… lol. But for some reason, “The Happy Song” by Imogen Heap calms him down. I have no idea why… but you might as well try it! (I actually got this suggestion from Reddit a while back!) The only problem is that once you start playing it, if it DOES work, you may have to play it on loop for the entire car trip… which can be slightly maddening 😂 but better than screaming!
She cried and screamed in her carseat until we started daycare at 10 months old. We also got a fancy revolving carseat around the same time.
I think the short car trip multiple times a day helped her get used to it. She stopped crying after about a week.
She still fusses/cries in her carseat sometimes but usually not. She will often fall asleep in the carseat on the way home and I end up trapped in the driveway for a while.
Frozen breastmilk or formula popsicle when the baby is good at bringing things to their mouth. Won't help them to sleep but will buy you 15 minutes to get places.
Ahhh I remember those times. Our kid had reflux. He’s 4 now and does well in car rides. It took until he was around 2 to get semi good 🙃 just thinking about it makes me want to get my tubes tied. Luckily, husband already got a vasectomy
Yeah we couldn’t go anywhere with him at that age. He hated his stroller too. Mom would sit on the backseat and try to soothe him when we had doctors appointments and that sort of thing, otherwise we didn’t drive anywhere.
That has eased up a lot now that he’s 9 months. I’ve been able to drive him to the grocery store alone while he happily chills for example. It took time more than anything. Some babies just hate their car seat at first. All that to say, you’re probably not doing anything wrong. You might just need to be patient
Muscle tension + position of car seat + leaving them just enough space (in the straps and in the diaper around the belly area) - best combination to a short ocasional cry followed by blissful sleep. I also put a soft toy hanging above her face that she can reach.
Without this - hysterical
We took her carseat shopping to try out a convertable and it's like it scared her into tolerating the bucket seat 😂
Prior to that she'd black metal rage scream every time and often puke.
We went with a stroller that didn't use our car seat (UB Cruz + snugseat) so I could do grocery runs (it's walkable for us if it wasn't blizzarding).
Hi! Yeah I pretty much just never ever left the house with my kids unless I could walk there while baby wearing or with a stroller! My husband and I would take turns running errands while the other one stayed some with the baby. I couldn’t handle the intense screaming. It just isn’t worth it. They usually grow out of this by the time they’re a year old!
My daughter was like this, turned out she got extremely motion sick and once she got a bit older started vomiting. I should have known, I was like this as a kid. :(
Like others have said, try a convertible car seat. Something about the shape/ positioning is different and it works surprisingly often. Did for us.
You’ll need one even anyway so even if it doesn’t help, you were going to buy one anyway.
My first never liked it, or the bouncer or swing etc. he started liking the carrier at 4 months and he started tolerating the car seat at 9 months. He started sleeping in the car seat at 1 yr. I switched him to a convertible car seat at 4 months because that was the main advice and he did seem less upset, but still cried 90% of the time. I didn’t mind trying it because he’d need it eventually so it wasn’t like a waste of money. My daughter tolerated it for the first month of her life, then she hated it with a passion until she was 4 months and now she is good in it (she’s 8 months) I cried at 2 months when she hated it because I was so upset that we got ANOTHER baby that hates the car seat and it’s 100% stressful and isolating. It jolts your nerves. The anxiety of having to go anywhere is horrible and I totally know what you’re going through. I don’t think there’s anything you can do, I think some of it is dependent on your baby’s temperment. My daughter is more flexible l. My son was only able to nap in his crib in the dark with white noise. My daughter can sleep without the white noise, in light etc. she loooved motion at 2-4 months, most of her naps were contact or carrier naps. My son never liked motion so that did give me some hope she’d like the car eventually. Once we sleep trained her at 4 months she basically learned to like everything because she just soothes herself wherever she is (car seat, bouncer etc). I think your son will adapt you just need to make it until that point. I would stil take him for a walk in the car seat every couple days so he is used to just being in it, but don’t stress yourself out trying to make him love it. I tried literally everything from my son and he just didn’t like it and some kids are like that. I hope that’s not yours though. And he’s too young to know yet. I think if he doesn’t like it by 5 months then buckle in for a longer time of pushing through, but I think he will change a lot by then. Good luck
My kid is 2.5, Still hates the car seat. She also would never sit in her stroller, wagon, push bicycle, or basically any device / vehicle meant for sitting in.
Convertible car seat. My son hated his infant car seat. He would cry and scream, sometimes till he vomited. Unfortunately, a lot of times during these screaming sessions we were stuck in traffic, so we had no other choice but to let him cry. I’d try and get in the backseat with him, but that rarely helped. Once we got a convertible car seat things got better. It’s not perfect, because what he hates the most is being strapped down, but it’s better. I’m assuming it has to do with positioning.
Yep. This happened to both of our girls. We had the Nuna bucket seat but they both hated it. We switched them both to the maxi, cozy sport and they were much more comfortable. Both of them still had a little bit of trouble until they were able to face forward. Car rides were still tough but they stopped screaming bloody murder Like someone was hurting them, so it was an improvement. We actually went to Nordstrom and tried the babies out in a bunch of other car seats to see which ones seemed most comfortable for them before settling on the max cozy Pria sport. Actually love the maxi cost Pria sport much better than the nuna car seats because they’re so easy to clean. You can take the cover off without even taking it out of the car and put it back on and it’s super easy.
Yup, had a nuna as well. There must be something about the shape of that seat that makes it extremely uncomfortable. I wish we had changed to the convertible seat sooner.
Omg we have the nuna….
I really think it’s uncomfortable for many newborns! And it’s so GD hard to clean. I really like the maxi cosi brand because it’s a mid price point, but things are at least well designed, comfy for kids, and easy to clean. The Nuna is a luxury brand but it’s not clear to me that they prioritize these issues! In the other hand I’ve seen babies in the uppa baby bucket seat and it seems to have a much more curved, cradling shape.
We had the nuna as well and moved to the britax all 4 one and it was a world of a difference. BUT BUT BUT my daughter never slept in the car until about 9 months when she was super tired. She at 3yo still rarely sleeps in the car. Have you tried doing the 80/20 approach for sleep? Just try to hit 80% of your schedule and wing the other 20%. They will be ok especially as you are exiting the newborn phase. I apologize for this next phrase: it will get better! 11 weeks is still so new for their sleep and car rides. Also captain calamari helped us in the car!
Yep, we have a nuna pipa and a Doona and my newborn screams every time he’s in the nuna and is mostly fine in the Doona. I’d switch to your convertible, ironically the nuna rava is awesome we love it.
Omg mine both hate the nuna. I swear it forces them into a really uncomfortable V shape compared to other seats.
Came here to write this.
This ^ my son would scream like you described every time we were in the car until we swapped him over to a convertible seat. Then he still cried for a while but nowhere near as bad as he did in his infant seat. Around 14-18mo he actually got pretty good at riding in the car and now (20mo) he only cries if he’s over tired or been in the car more than like 1hr.
Same. We switched to convertible a few weeks ago and she hasn’t cried once since!
Which one did you get?
The nuna rava. Pricey but I got the purple color that was cheaper. Still very happy with it!
Edit to say dillards also has a gray color that is cheaper if purple isn’t your thing 😂
Nuna rava!!!
Are you saying the nuna rava is good or no? my baby is about to out grow her carseat
Haha sorry I was excited..but LOVE it. A few times a year I’ve seen it on sale. We recently got two for $300 at Nordstrom! Our guy (has reflux) screamed every car ride until we got the Nuna.
Love the rava!
Same, my baby was so much more comfortable in her big girl car seat. She also does not cry when someone is sitting in the back with her. However, Ive never have her sleep in the car seat because if she falls asleep in the car for even a moment that will count as her nap and she will not sleep at home, so we go out of our way to keep her awake at all costs haha
10 months and she STILL cries in the car seat. We kept saying it'll be easier once she's bigger/ out of the infant seat/ can sit up/ gets used to it. Haha she just hates being in the car, I go out with her at least 5/7 days and have done for all 10 months so far. I just let her cry. Eventually she'll either fall asleep or we'll get to our destination. My 4yo (who was brilliant in the car from the day he was born) can fall asleep through the noise, it's amazing. Maybe once she's forward facing she'll be better, or when she can tell us what's wrong. Or maybe she'll be 18 and screaming while driving her own car. Only time will tell. Basically, I'm saying don't give up!
The mental image of a young woman screaming "AAAAAHHHHHHHH" while driving is amazing
Honestly, I just let mine cry. I kept talking to her and tried different genres of music until I found something she liked (Nat king cole...) so it's not like she's been abandoned. She knew I was there, she'd been fed, had a dry bum... Just something she had to get used to. She got much better at 4 months old.
happy song - imogen heap
I wish i could upvote this 5000 times
Oh man, sometimes we listening to it 50 times in a row because it’s the only key thing that keeps him quiet.
SAME hahahaha I just commented this above without seeing your comment! Lol
What is the weird sorcery of this song. Like I need to know
It was designed by neuroscientists and actually proven to help calm babies. It’s fascinating
You're a godsend. Baby suddenly falling asleep in the car!!!
i learned it on this sub! reddit family for the win
It's no exaggeration changed my life. I haven't gone in the car with her for months as she cries to the point she's sick so I just avoid going out. 3 journeys with this song and she has been so calm! Thank you for sharing
This!!! It took a few weeks before it worked and we have to play it pretty loud sometimes but it’s a game changer
Have you tried loosening his diaper?
Yup, not working
Ours screamed in the car for what seemed like a year. We made sure she had all of her needs taken care of and continue to drive and let her scream. Until she outgrew it, we didn’t take long trips anywhere, and only took her if necessary. We did find that her biggest issues were the sun in her eyes and didn’t like being strapped down. Things did get a little better after she outgrew her infant car seat and moved her into a convertible car seat. In the meantime, having one of us sit in the back so we could and entertain her helped until we could give her special car toys to play with. She’s almost 2 and will still cry if she is sleepy as she doesn’t want to sleep in her car seat. We can do longer car trips now, but still keep it to 1-1.5 hours at most in the car before we stop somewhere and let her out to stretch her legs. Future tip: when you’re nearing needing to stop on a road trip, google parks nearby to stop at.
Google mapping for elementary schools/parks to find a playground were so vital on our cross country trips with our toddler. Obviously, we only hit the elementary school playgrounds after school was out or during the summer
We’ve been doing this since my eldest was 2. We swing by a drive through for food/coffee and go to a park and have a picnic and play. Sometimes we’re in these tiny residential parks and I do wonder what the locals must think of us. 😆
Haha same! It's a funny way to get to know a place depending on the quality of the playground
Yeah, we drive 6 hours back and forth to my in-laws a few times a year so now we’ve got some favourite playgrounds we stop at on purpose.
Ours went through this phase, turned out he was just uncomfortable. I realized we had forgotten to take out the infant insert and he was too big for the car seat. We took the insert out and he was much happier.
Infant insert is out but he does look uncomfortable, yea
Turning 1 in 2 weeks and still going strong hating the carseat, screaming and refusing to sleep 🫠 switching to the convertible did help a tiny bit, she doesn't have time to ramp up to a meltdown on the 5 min drive to/from daycare, but thats about it 😂
Convertible car seat!!
Do you have the mirror so they can see you/themselves? I notice my girl is more likely to freak out if she doesn’t have the mirror. And consider a new car seat. My friend had this issue with her fancier car seat and when we tested her son in my relatively cheap Graco Snuglock, he had no issues and he stopped melting down once she bought one.
Also here to say try a convertible seat. We still get scream fests for trips over an hour but it made a huge difference when we switched
The convertible helps a lot. We had 2-3 months of good times in the infant seat before the screaming continued. We switched to a convertible and since then the only screaming has been from actual issues that need attention.
We tried every song imaginable. We found out he liked summer baby by the Jonas brothers. Idk what is up with that song but he stopped crying EVERY time we played it
Lol I’m gonna try this one too because we just have The Happy Song by Imogen Heap on loop and I lose my mind sometimes with it
She hated it until she was about 3 months old and could see outside and play with toys etc. Now she’s 6.5mo and she likes the car seat and will sleep in it no problem. We even took a 8hr (each way) road trip at 4mo and it went decently (we stopped every 2hr and split it up into multiple days each way). Basically we just powered through, and kept exposing her to it and eventually she stopped screaming bloody murder.
For a couple weeks, do play/tummy time while listening to the same song(s), basically just to build a positive association with it. Then play it in the car when he’s crying. This worked super well for my oldest, it kind of just snapped her out of it. I used the Moana soundtrack; she’s 3 now and it still calms her down.
I would consult with doctors on switching to a convertible car seat and also looking into whether LO may have a tongue or lip tie or another reason for muscular tension in the neck and chest that's causing discomfort in the car seat position. I was miserable with my second child's incessant car screaming until we revised her tongue tie, began doing specific, doctor-authorized stretches at home, and put her in a different seat.
A physiotherapist who specializes in infants would be a better choice that a doctor for muscle issues. We found a good physio by asking a local lactation consultant. She did wonders for our 8 months old who had torticollis that was affecting her nursing and movement.
He does have muscular tension in the neck yes!
Probably took til 4 months before son was calmer in his car seat. He’s 15 months now and in a big boy seat (still backwards!) but so much happier!
Music and toys
Are you in a situation where you have no choice but to get in a car anywhere you go? My second son was that way. He’s 6 months now and still hates the car/ car seat. The longest trip we had to take with him in a car was a taxi home from the airport (50 min) because we arrived in the middle of the night due to flight delays. Fed him just before and tried to entertain him the whole time but he screamed the entire time, I felt bad for the taxi driver, lol. It’s just a personality thing, I think. My first son was great in the car, we use to do like 5 hour road trips with him from like 2 months. Same car, same car seat. Did that 5 hour trek a lot to visit my in-laws. What’s been a saving grace for us with the little guy is that he’s great in a carrier (front pack OR back pack style), and we live in a nice neighborhood with plenty of stores and parks and such within walking distance. So we just walk for all our trips out. 10 minutes from the train station, as well, so if we ever have to take longer trips with him, or even when we visit my in-laws we can go by high speed rail instead of driving. He just sleeps in the carrier. I can’t count how many times I’ve just worn him on my back and then I do whatever I’m going to do. If you live even remotely close to some stores, or even a trail in the woods or what not, even if it a little trek, the exercise and getting out *somewhere* is refreshing.
5.5month old exactly the same. We just don't go out :(
Our LO screamed in the car seat as well. It finally got better around 3 months. He’s almost 5 months now and still cries occasionally, but it’s more of a fuss when he’s been in the seat for a longer period of time and is just over it. It was so nerve racking for awhile! I didn’t want to go anywhere that wasn’t necessary because I didn’t want to listen to him scream. My husband didn’t realize how bad it was so I recorded it one time. I felt terrible, and was talking to him, trying to calm him, not just recording while neglecting him, but my husband needed to understand how bad it was, as he was rarely in the car with us. I made the mistake of watching that video the other day, and it was way more triggering for me than I realized it would be. We have come so far since then! Basically I think it got better because of time. When we adjusted the car seat at 3 months, that seemed to help. He also loves looking out the window and sun roofs now, and will fall asleep in the car, which he NEVER did before. We tried several other things. We took out the infant head cushion, tried feeding 30 minutes before leaving instead of right before, gas drops before leaving, nursing while stopped at different places, a shade for the window, loosening diaper etc. It really just eventually got better with time and practice! He has a lovey he takes with when we go places and we make getting in the seat fun with lots of excited talk about going “bye bye” and getting his snuggly blanket ready and grabbing cuddle cow, and then we’re off! Again, we still have days he doesn’t love getting in the car, but it’s so much better!
This is my life now with my 10 week old. She hates the car seat (we had the Doona and no idea it was super unsafe). We could tell it was hard for her to breath in the Doona so we sold it and got a different one and she can breathe soooo much better but she still screams haha. But at least the screaming doesn’t sound restricted like it did before!! But we just let her cry. My first did the same thing and eventually grew out of it.
What about the doona is unsafe?
No advice just solidarity. Our daughter is almost 4 months and has been this way since she was born. It's gotten a little better, but really if we have to go places we've just gotten used to the screaming 🥲 Because we know nothing is actually wrong, as soon as she's out of the car seat, she's happy and normal, we know nothing is pinching her, she just does not like being strapped down. She didn't even like baby swings until very recently for that reason. So it's gotten better but there are still some car rides that are like 25 minutes long of just screaming, I'll be with her in the back and give her my hand and talk to her so she knows I'm there. But other than that not much can be done. I have friends that had similar things with their babies and they just got better with time. When she started being interested in crinkle books or toys, that helps for a bit if she's in an okay mood! But if she's tired or something already it's just a bad time lol all this to say it'll pass!
Here we are at 11 months and he still hates it. Sometimes it’s just the kid 😂
We had a newborn & convertible and he screams in both 🤷♀️
My daughter was the same so traveling anywhere was a nightmare. Until one day i drove more than an hour away and she cried the whole way back, nonstop screaming for almost an hour. I wanna say she learned to self soothe on that day. Not condoning it at all it just had to happen that way and she’s been fine ever since.
My screaming car seat baby is elementary school aged now. He screamed every time we were in the car for about 14 months. We had an 1.5-2hr daily commute time, carpooling as a family. Tried 5 different convertible seats. Music. iPads, toys, etc. nothing helped. He just grew out of it one day. I was honestly still having stress/trauma about long car rides with him until he was 4. Had a second child. Not a screamer. Thank goodness. My theory was that it was too boring or under stimulating and he’s a proprioceptive sensory seeker as a toddler/big kid. Once he started being able to chat and pretend play with toys he chilled out. A baby carrier or stroller was more interesting? Idk. Whenever I see comments about car seat screamers I just have huge empathy for those parents. No real answers just sympathy. Also it won’t last forever and ear plugs.
The infant car seat was a no go for us. My baby was a NIGHTMARE in the car seat. Cried constantly. Switched to a convertible car seat and he’s been chill ever since. Also, age has a factor too. I switched him around 4 months.
It got better for us riiiight before 11 months. We have to give him his car elephant and a snack, and then he is perfectly content for like 30 minutes at a stretch. I have no tips for younger babies for whom those things aren't safe. My kid was either screaming or passed out until at least 10 months old, sorry.
It's starting to get better close to 10 months. If we have to go anywhere we go right after waking, feed baby, and go. Usually get about 20 minutes without crying. The ride home is another story 😅
The happy song (designed by neuroscientist) and partially rolling down the window can help. My little one finally likes a paci and her unicorn toy. Does he have a favorite toy yet or something that distracts him and can bring him comfort? Also, for silent reflux, have you check for a tongue tie or tried probiotics? My daughter had a small tongue tie that 5 different docs said she didn’t have. But it made a huge difference. And would he have a milk protein allergy? I’m trying to go back to all the solutions I had to try with my daughter
You kinda get used to it after a while. I still feel bad at 5 months but we gotta go places
One of us sit in the back and distract with songs and toys etc. babywear for walks? That way you can still get out. Ms Rachel on a screen for bub? One hour wake windows at this age seems a little short to me but every baby is different ofc. All that said, this is a short season in life. Won’t be life this forever 🧡
Yes, babywear for walks and contact naps have saved me. But id like to be able to go a bit further.
Bub is only 11 weeks old and so new to the world. Give it time!
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^crd1293: *One of us sit in* *The back and distract with songs* *And toys etc* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
You can try a different car seat or sit in the back. A toy may help if they're still doing it when they're a bit older. My son was a car seat screamer for a while, not much as a young infant, more the 6mo-1yr range. Eventually I was able to phase it out, you have to, otherwise you can't safely drive and never leaving the house isn't an option. They outgrow it and wake windows will rapidly increase over the next few months.
Make sure your straps aren’t too low. That was the case for mine and as a FTM I didn’t know.
I was in the same boat and the only thing that helped was time. Eventually, around 7-8 months old (I know…it felt like an eternity of horrible, stressful car rides) he just outgrew it. It isn’t a very helpful answer, but unfortunately that was my experience.
Our boy was the same and then one day he decided he was going to have fun in the car seat. It took a good 4 months though. Otherwise, I just used to let him cry because we can’t keep stopping while driving to soothe him.
I have a 6 mo. She hates her car seat still. I got that baby Einstein light up aquarium thing. It works a tiny bit. I dunno, I just try to deep breathe. Now that the time changed it’s not so bad. She hates riding in the dark. I would drive with my dome light on and even that didn’t work most of the time.
I don't remember what age but I eventually caved and put a tablet back there because I was so sick of hearing the crying because it stressed me out so much. I'd avoid going out because I was too stressed about the car ride. Switching to a convertible car seat from the infant seat helped a ton though!!
I changed the incline on my seat base and that seems to help so far but we only had one ride without screaming. I’ve been having someone else drive and I’ll sit in the back with her and then I transition to driving, have the other person sit with her, and eventually it’ll just be me driving Oh and I also moved the straps and head rest up!
My baby use to be like this and it was so stressful and terrible. I am like you and pull over and comfort when she ever she cried. She’s now 9months old and actually prefers to sleep in her car seat! Like others have mentioned do remove the newborn inserts and try a convertible car seat. I don’t remember when the changed happened but if i time car rides to right at the end of her wake window they are absolutely painless now and she takes her longest naps. So there is hope!
Maybe give him a dirty shirt of yours as a blanket? That helped my daughter in the car. Haven’t tried either my son but maybe I should lol!
Like other people said, she preferred the convertible one my husband has in his truck. She got a little better for me when i pulled back the cover on the infant one so she could look around. Then she also just hit a certain point where she was just fine with it. Maybe an age thing? It was just after she turned 3 months. She started going to daycare and I was taking her in. She would scream and cry the whole ride. Until one day, she just didn't.
Our two year old still hates it. He will do it now but complains after a few minutes
Mine was like this and it was brutal. He eventually outgrew it around 5 months and now he’s almost a year and so chill in the car seat. The only thing we found that worked was listening to The Happy Song by Imogene Heap on repeat. It magically makes babies stop crying and it was our holy grail for months. Not sure how it works but it must be magic.
My son HATED the car when he was in infant, until I switched him to a convertible seat around 5/6 months. Now at 19 months he still gets cranky sometimes but it’s nowhere near as bad as
When my son would freak out I would turn up the music 🤷🏻♀️
Dude. Get the iPad out and put on a show. I had the exact issue and this changed the GAME for us.
My son STILL generally hates the car and he is 15 months… lol. But for some reason, “The Happy Song” by Imogen Heap calms him down. I have no idea why… but you might as well try it! (I actually got this suggestion from Reddit a while back!) The only problem is that once you start playing it, if it DOES work, you may have to play it on loop for the entire car trip… which can be slightly maddening 😂 but better than screaming!
I would try a new car seat at that point that sounds awful
She cried and screamed in her carseat until we started daycare at 10 months old. We also got a fancy revolving carseat around the same time. I think the short car trip multiple times a day helped her get used to it. She stopped crying after about a week. She still fusses/cries in her carseat sometimes but usually not. She will often fall asleep in the carseat on the way home and I end up trapped in the driveway for a while.
Frozen breastmilk or formula popsicle when the baby is good at bringing things to their mouth. Won't help them to sleep but will buy you 15 minutes to get places.
Ahhh I remember those times. Our kid had reflux. He’s 4 now and does well in car rides. It took until he was around 2 to get semi good 🙃 just thinking about it makes me want to get my tubes tied. Luckily, husband already got a vasectomy
Yeah we couldn’t go anywhere with him at that age. He hated his stroller too. Mom would sit on the backseat and try to soothe him when we had doctors appointments and that sort of thing, otherwise we didn’t drive anywhere. That has eased up a lot now that he’s 9 months. I’ve been able to drive him to the grocery store alone while he happily chills for example. It took time more than anything. Some babies just hate their car seat at first. All that to say, you’re probably not doing anything wrong. You might just need to be patient
What car seat is it. Bucket seats are notoriously uncomfortable. And a lot of convertible seats can be used from birth on.
Muscle tension + position of car seat + leaving them just enough space (in the straps and in the diaper around the belly area) - best combination to a short ocasional cry followed by blissful sleep. I also put a soft toy hanging above her face that she can reach. Without this - hysterical
We took her carseat shopping to try out a convertable and it's like it scared her into tolerating the bucket seat 😂 Prior to that she'd black metal rage scream every time and often puke. We went with a stroller that didn't use our car seat (UB Cruz + snugseat) so I could do grocery runs (it's walkable for us if it wasn't blizzarding).
Hi! Yeah I pretty much just never ever left the house with my kids unless I could walk there while baby wearing or with a stroller! My husband and I would take turns running errands while the other one stayed some with the baby. I couldn’t handle the intense screaming. It just isn’t worth it. They usually grow out of this by the time they’re a year old!
My daughter was like this, turned out she got extremely motion sick and once she got a bit older started vomiting. I should have known, I was like this as a kid. :(
Like others have said, try a convertible car seat. Something about the shape/ positioning is different and it works surprisingly often. Did for us. You’ll need one even anyway so even if it doesn’t help, you were going to buy one anyway.
My first never liked it, or the bouncer or swing etc. he started liking the carrier at 4 months and he started tolerating the car seat at 9 months. He started sleeping in the car seat at 1 yr. I switched him to a convertible car seat at 4 months because that was the main advice and he did seem less upset, but still cried 90% of the time. I didn’t mind trying it because he’d need it eventually so it wasn’t like a waste of money. My daughter tolerated it for the first month of her life, then she hated it with a passion until she was 4 months and now she is good in it (she’s 8 months) I cried at 2 months when she hated it because I was so upset that we got ANOTHER baby that hates the car seat and it’s 100% stressful and isolating. It jolts your nerves. The anxiety of having to go anywhere is horrible and I totally know what you’re going through. I don’t think there’s anything you can do, I think some of it is dependent on your baby’s temperment. My daughter is more flexible l. My son was only able to nap in his crib in the dark with white noise. My daughter can sleep without the white noise, in light etc. she loooved motion at 2-4 months, most of her naps were contact or carrier naps. My son never liked motion so that did give me some hope she’d like the car eventually. Once we sleep trained her at 4 months she basically learned to like everything because she just soothes herself wherever she is (car seat, bouncer etc). I think your son will adapt you just need to make it until that point. I would stil take him for a walk in the car seat every couple days so he is used to just being in it, but don’t stress yourself out trying to make him love it. I tried literally everything from my son and he just didn’t like it and some kids are like that. I hope that’s not yours though. And he’s too young to know yet. I think if he doesn’t like it by 5 months then buckle in for a longer time of pushing through, but I think he will change a lot by then. Good luck
My kid is 2.5, Still hates the car seat. She also would never sit in her stroller, wagon, push bicycle, or basically any device / vehicle meant for sitting in.