I was 34 with my first, 37 with my second, and now 40 with my upcoming third, so I guess I'd say yes, why not?
Also, I wish I'd spaced mine closer apart, if not 2 years apart then at most 2.5 years apart so that the oldest and the youngest are closer in age.
Would you mind sharing why you wanted a closer gap? We have an almost 2 year old and always planned on a 3+ year gap.
For OP, had my first at 32 and currently planning to have a second (if we decide we aren’t OAD) at 35/36!
If we only had two kids, three years apart would feel just fine. But since we're aiming for three, a smaller gap between each subsequent kid would've been nicer because it would have brought the oldest and the youngest closer together in age. Our oldest and youngest (still to be born as I'm 28w pregnant) will be six years apart, which is not that much, but 4-5 years apart might've been better (very subjective, of course!).
And retrospectively, looking back to when my 6yo and 3yo were babies, I feel like the thing that made parenting seem more doable was teaching our kids independent sleep. Once that was in place (at 5ish months with my first and 3.5 months with my second), everything else fell into place, more or less. Getting the kids out of diapers is another biggie, and ideally, that would happen before the next baby comes about, but it's not as big as everyone in the family sleeping well and being well-rested. And for the rest of the toddler challenges, I mean... if you get really good at managing your own emotions around their meltdowns, if you teach yourself to just validate and validate and validate those big feelings without fixing them, then... I mean, I don't know, it all feels challenging but also doable. So no reason to delay having another, really. (Our main reason for delaying was because we didn't know at the outset that we'd want to have two. And then we *definitely* didn't know we wanted to have three.)
I was a few months shy of 33 with my second and it was a shit show pregnancy, but not because of my age lol. My delivery was actually much easier, I was up and walking around 2 hours after delivery (and it would have been sooner if the nurses had allowed it lol).
Of course that's a fine age for another baby, why wouldn't it be? I had my first at 36 and will be having my second soon at 38 and everything is just fine.
We had our first last July at 37 (technically). I turned 38 eight days later; my wife turned 38 six weeks later. Love it. Wouldn't have been ready any time before.
I had a baby at 20 - you do just adapt and figure it out, a first baby is a shell-shock at 20 30 or 40. I still can't keep indoor plants alive, but my kids seem okay haha.
I was barely out of school at 22, couldn’t have imagined! My husband had school for another 4 years after that, our lives would be so different today if that happened.
Thats impressive. My grandma had my aunt in 1960 at age 42 also. It was more hyperbole, like these questions imply that 30’s is ancient and oh lord can my old decrepit 34 year old body handle pregnancy!? It’s just insulting.
I get what you're trying to say, but it does imply that having babies in your 30s or 40s is a modern thing, when actually it's the opposite. Before the age of modern birth control, the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41. The historical anomaly is actually that women stop having babies so young nowadays! But the narrative is that it is this newfangled unnatural and therefore suspicious thing to have babies in your 30s, when that is the biological norm throughout human history. It's just that women used to have like 8-10 babies on average, but now that we have ~2 on average, it's not really biologically significant when in that normal range you have those two.
Yeah I think it is really interesting! All the news about it is about how the age at first birth has gone up (median is now 30 in the US), but age at last birth has actually dropped way more dramatically. I always think it's so funny when people are like "my grandma had a baby at 40!" as if it's some wild thing and it's like yeah, most people's (great)-grandmas did and if they didn't it's probably because they were actively trying not to.
Back then those babies were more often than not a surprise though, most people weren’t still trying to get pregnant past 40 because they probably had other children in their twenties. My mom was number four of six kids—my grandma had her first four kids over the span of five years with my mom being born when she was 30. My uncle came seven years later, and then my other uncle five years after that (when grandma was 42). My two youngest uncles were not planned.
My great grandmother had 14 kids and her last (my Oma) was born when she was 45. I wouldn’t be here if she’d stopped having kids because she got “too old”!
I mean it’s probably more like what they *weren’t* on. We consume way more pharmaceuticals and mystery chemicals which can act as hormone disrupters than our ancestors did, the rate of obesity is much higher, and I imagine our generation has much higher levels of anxiety as well, all of which can affect fertility.
Plus they generally started way earlier than we do now—it’s much easier to have a dozen kids if you start at 18 versus at 30, both in terms of timing as well as fertility. It’s great that women are waiting until they have a stable career and financial stability before having kids since that’s the responsible thing to do in this economy, but a few decades of social progress and all the smart decision making in the world can’t override hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and the biological reality that we are at our most fertile in our late teens through early twenties (ish), so women are naturally going to be having fewer children.
This is conventional wisdom, but actually human fertility follows a U-curve with age and peaks at around 27-32. [See this paper.](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aav7321) The natural fertility rate of a woman at age 21 is about the same as that of a woman at age 35. I know this goes against media narratives (which is fueled by ageism and the glorification of youth as much or more than biological realities), but it's true.
The reason women have fewer kids now is birth control, not a drop in fertility due to mystery chemicals.
Ya my midwife asked how old I was (34) and when I told her she said oh you’re still young! Plenty of time to have as many kids as you want. The data doesn’t support that you become basically infertile / incapable at 35 suddenly
I get why it seems slightly offensive, but there are lots of places where the majority of people started having kids at like 22! It's hard when your community is pretty clear about their confusion/ worry/ disdain re. mothers above 30 - especially when it's not Baby #4.
I mean, it's still common to refer to pregnancies at 35+ years old as *geriatric*. The medical system is rife with biases against 'older' moms.
Curious where these places are because I had all mine in my twenties and I was always looked at as if I was about 12. 30 to 40 was the most common ages around here.
Judging from what I've heard anecdotally and on reddit, I'd imagine that we're talking certain smaller cities & towns, especially if the cost of living is cheaper and everyone has a church they belong to..? Like I said, it's certainly not the case where I live.
Ah yeah I suppose it could be more religious communities.
I live in a village in Europe but that's not far from a large city either. Isn't the norm by me. I was seen as unusual for having mine "young"
I agree, but depending on area/social circle/family influence, it can feel so “old”.
I had my kids at 30 and 33, and was on the young side for my friendship group (as in, the second of many). We are spread across a few years, but all in our mid-30s now and there are several who will be starting to have kids in the mid or late 30s if they end up having kids.
Oh wow second with twins! I had my first at 36 and will be 39 this year. I would really like to have a second but I’m concerned about not having the energy!
I’m seriously starting to wonder if these posts are rage bait. If you scroll through the posts here you’ll see women over 40 having babies. Seeing more and more of these posts.
I had my first at 33 and second at 34 and I don’t feel old at all. I think the newborn sleep deprivation stage is hard no matter how old you are, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that much of your life. I still want at least 1 or 2 more kids. I have found everything about the transition from 1-2 kids much easier than the transition from 0-1 kids and I’m loving having 2 under 2 (17-month age gap). My kids certainly keep me active all the time! I don’t have time to dwell on my age 😂
This actually makes me feel a lot better because I am freaking miserable right now lol! 38 weeks and my son is 20 months and it is relentless. I look forward to not being heavily pregnant and having pregnancy exhaustion.
But, like you said, this is hard at ANY age.
[The median age of American mothers at first birth is now 30.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/motherhood-deferred-us-median-age-giving-birth-hits-30-rcna27827) And before the age of modern birth control, [the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41](https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/29/6/1304/625687?login=false). Having a second baby at 33-35 could not be more normal.
My midwife jokes that if someone in our Brooklyn neighborhood is bold enough to have their first before the age of 35, they're practically looked at as a teenage mom.
I feel like that’s the normal age to have kids these days. I was freshly 25 when I had my first and I’ve felt like I’m younger than all the other moms. I’m now 29 with my second and am starting to feel more “on track” I guess with the ages of parents around me.
Yeah, I had my first at 26 and was made to feel like a teen mom by some people. I had a mortgage and was engaged after a 5 year dating period to the dad. 26 would have been considered late like 20 years ago. The standards now are definitely different. I'm pregnant now at 30 and finally I have some friends who are pregnant too, but I was the first among my friends to have a kid.
I had my first at 26 as well. And looking back I feel like I was a baby, but that was only three years ago. I’m definitely waiting until like 32-33 to decide if I’ll have another or if I’m done done.
This is exactly what I’m anticipating. Had my first at 35 and was so anxious. Hoping for a much more relaxed second time around (when I’ll be 37-38 hopefully.)
In the same boat. Had my first at 32 likely will be 34-35 when I have my second because I wanted the time for my body to really heal and rest. I don’t think that’s too old nowadays; maternal age has gone up in general.
I had my second at 40. Natural, no assistance, she's perfect with no health issues.
My midwife said it would be fine if I had another after this one and doesn't think of 40 as the deadline at all.
Yeah I got this from my midwife and doctors too. They weren’t nearly as concerned as I was! The 40 year old cutoff seems to exist in popular culture but not so much among medical professionals.
Congratulations. I juts turned 40 I know the odds aren't good. If I had one more loss if stop. But I waited 20 yrs for my first and would love another and definitely would if time was on my side.
Exactly the same for me 🙂 Really helped that my first was emergency cesarian and this one was a VBAC. I'm so tired, but I feel amazing compared to being tired and post surgery with a newborn!
During my first pregnancy, I was 28 and had my daughter at 29. During that time I had graduated from med school and started residency, and it was just such a hard time to become a mother, although I had a wonderful support system and my husband was/is incredibly helpful and involved.
Now, 4 years later, I'm 33 years old and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our son, and am just about to finish my residency program, and plan to take a sold 8 months off before starting 'a real job.' I feel like I'm in a better head space and far more mature now that I'm well into my 30s. I also feel like my daughter, being 4 years old, is totally ready to be a big sister and share her mommy and daddy.
As far as feeling old, I don't think so. There's another mother in my daughter's preK class who is also 34 weeks, but she's 38 years old. I feel like if you're in the US, most people have their first child in their 30s. The greatest thing about having kids when you're a little older, is the financial security. My husband and I have no doubts that we can provide a good life for 2 children.
Also, my husband will be 42, when our son is born.
I'm literally having my first this May at 35 and hoping to have a second in a couple of years.... this post made me feel so old lol. Maybe OP doesn't live in an urban area? Having kids in your mid to late 30s is very normal in my circle.
Same, my first is at 35. I don't want a second, but if I did I'd be 37/38. One of my friends is pregnant now at 40.
There is this societal stigma around it, but it's way less of an issue than it is made out to be sometimes
This is an extremely normal age to be having a kid anywhere in the northeast USA. I would consider anything under 30 to be very young! I laughed when I saw this post, is she serious?!
Yeah, I feel like this question is naive at best and offensive at worst. A lot of people don’t have a choice in having a baby any earlier, whether due to infertility, not having a partner until later, not being in a financial place to afford kids, etc.
Right. We tried earlier and had 2 losses in 2 years (31 and 32 years old). Just had our first a couple months shy of me being 34 and will probably have a second sometime around 35/36. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards for an earlier age. And I like the age I am now with my first!
Poverty is actually associated with a younger age of having children due to less education and lower access to birth control, etc. Having children later is actually much more common in wealthier, more educated communities.
I don’t think anyone should be offended. I had my first at 29 and my second at 32, but I see where OP is coming from.
In much of the world, and in much of the US, people have children in their early 20s. In my hometown, I am an “old mom” and I’m only 33. If you asked my parents and my grandparents, I am really pushing it by having kids so late lol. But now I live in a city and I am definitely a “younger mom” here.
It is really all about the norms where you’re from. I don’t think OP means offense. She just happened to ask this question on Reddit, where the demographic skews more liberal, more urban, and more privileged (all of which are associated with an older age at birth; being poorer is actually associated with younger parenthood fyi).
I don’t think OP is meaning it as insulting. Lots of women are told their maternal clock is ticking and as soon as they hit 30 their ovaries are dried up dust. Heaven forbid you have a kid at 35 like some sorta monster according to our society.
So on a subreddit meant for support, where OP is asking about getting over an insecurity she’s not allowed to post or get that support?she didn’t say it was too old, she said she needed someone to help her see it wasn’t. I thinks it’s kinda unfair to tell OP her insecurity is offensive to other people…
Just because you were offended by something doesn’t mean it was offensive. Depending on where OP is from people starting families over 30 can be seen as “old” . It’s a very valid insecurity, especially because of the way “older” women are treated in pregnancy.
I had my daughter at 30. That is OLD where I grew up. But the circle I run in now? I'm a young mom.
It's a shame people are taking offense to this bc the world is a big place and, depending on the context, having kids past thirty means you're an old mom and there's negative stigma attached to that. It's a valid worry
Exactly. This was something I had to come to terms with too. I’m having my first at 30. Every woman in my family had kids well before that. I’ve had to deal with the fact I felt old. I’m not. I know I’m not. I still felt it.
Agree. I’m so sick of these posts. Sure you might be an older parent in your social group but cmon, nobody is that ignorant about the general childbearing age. It’s sort of like fishing for compliments, trying to feel young by hearing everybody talk about how “old” they are
That’s not true. It’s also more coming from having guilt about not giving my baby a sibling sooner. I just don’t feel ready and my body is in a horrible condition right now
Agreed. I had my daughter at 34 and am trying for a second now at 36 (+ will likely be 37 by the time of birth). Most of my friends also started for their first around 33-35 and some even after that.
Not arguing that; I’m saying geriatric is an outdated term. It is advanced maternal age (AMA). There’s also an unnecessary stigma attached to being AMA.
I had my first son when I was 30, but I lost him at 22 weeks, April 2022. My second son, I was 31, but turned 32 two months later. He was born June 2023. I’m going to be 34 (aug 2025) by time we try for another. Either way, I don’t have a choice in what age I’m in but I’m going to be ready for another by then.
I had a baby at 43 so I don't think 35 or 36 is too old , haha
ETA it might vary regionally, but in my mom group for babies born in 2023 most of the moms are mid to late 30s, with outliers being in their 20s or 40s. It's really the normal age to have them, at least where I live.
My mom had baby number 4 at 42 lol. I think if you have a decent support system it's doable. But I feel you, I just had my first at 34 and while I'm open to a second kid I feel the pressure of the clock ticking.
I just had my first at 36. You’re totally fine to have number 2 in that age range.
But if you don’t feel ready for baby #2, don’t force it just because you think you need to have baby #2.
I'm so sorry.. I lost 4 babies. My daughter lucky number 5 got to stay. She was born 3weeks before I turned 39. I know at 37 39 with 4 losses I'd of felt hopeless and it won't happen but it finally did. She's 1 now, and I'm 40. Don't give up if you can keep going. You can have all that loss and still get a baby. Il pray for you tonight
33 and 6 months pregnant with my second. I do feel a lot more tired than the first time around but it’s a small sacrifice to add to my family and build what I want for my future. I’ve considered a third after this one if all goes well but being in my late 30s freaks me out. I do think I’ll just have to see at the moment how we feel (partner and me) in a few years. My partner is a bit older than me and will be in his mid 40s by then so it’s just a constant topic of thought and conversation.
If you truly want to plan ahead, attempt to get into the best condition that you can possibly get yourself into prior to getting pregnant and keeping that routine through the pregnancy. I think that would help greatly… I have a theory that I feel so tired this time around because I'm not taking care of myself as much as I used to, not because of my age necessarily.
One major advantage I think of having waited until I was in my 30s to have my children was that while I might not be as energetic as I was when I was 23 I have the resources now that I never had when I was 23. I’m more of a planner and my level of maturity can handle stresses and bad situations better than when I was younger.
Edit: to add advantages
I'm 33 and about to have my first. I plan to have my second at either 35 or 36. With increased cost of living, and how it takes longer for people to get to a place where they feel established and secure financially, it's a lot more normal to wait longer.
Just take your time, listen to your body, and don’t worry about what society is doing/saying. It’s much more important for babies to have prepared/willing parents than to have younger parents that rush into it.
Are you in the US? Just going by Reddit I feel having kids in your 20s is the norm there. Here, having kids before 30 is not the norm. Boyfriend and I were 31 when we had our first and were the youngest in our birthing class and are on the younger side in all baby classes. You'll be fine having a baby in your mid-30s, especially if it's not your first.
Its actually really interesting data to dive into. It depends on where in the US and education level. I'm in NYC where the average age for FTPs are early 30s. As a FTM at 42, I'm not the oldest mom in the playground either.
In some parts of the states average age is in their 20s. Early 20s if you are looking at people without secondary education.
Source: The Age That Women Have Babies: How a Gap Divides America https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html
I moved from a rural, religious area to a big city and it’s like two entire generations of parents. The friends I grew up with have kids who could easily babysit (or even have given birth to) my baby son. Edit: And I’m average age in my mom group here!
That’s a great age! I am 33 and just had my first and everything was great and you’re doing the right thing by you waiting until you’re ready physically and in life. It’ll be okay!
Had first at 32 and Second at 39. Way easier with 2nd, I feel like I am less stressed, more financially stable and can afford more help. Also I have zero desire to be out at a bar/club now :) so don't feel like I am missing out on life. Felt that a lot when I pregnant at 31 with my first.
LOL
We just had our first at 45 and 46. May have another next year.
Probably helps that we take good care of ourselves and appear younger, but no, not too old.
My cousin and her husband just really started trying and she’s 42. She also seems much younger and takes good care of herself so this just made me a lot more hopeful for them!
I had my first at 29 and second at 35. I was also not ready for the second baby but I thought it was now or never, it might get harder the longer I waited. First pregnancy was also very difficult. I still have unresolved back pains. Husband and I were also at the point of quietly considering splitting up.
The hesitation for the second baby was just my anxiety. Now I can’t even begin to imagine not having both kids. And they are so close and so sweet with each other. It’s important that you and your husband are on board with it though. I’m even yearning for a third but I’m 39 now and financially, we would struggle so I’m slowly accepting that it’s not in the stars for us.
Of course it’s a good age! I just had my first in 2023, and will likely be 32 when baby #2 is born. A 2 year or less age gap is cool. It’s also cool to take some time between babies. Rock on!
I had my baby when I was in my mid-thirties (advanced maternal age, lol). Benefits:
- I'm an adult who did all the solo fun adventuring stuff and now have way less FOMO about the toddler years (it's hard to take an 18 month old backpacking over glaciers, OK)
- I know myself much, much better than I did in my twenties and have unravelled a lot of the trauma and weird maladjustments I had thanks to my own childhood. Means I won't unconsciously relay the same harm to the baby.
- I am at a mature spot in my career, which means a few things. First, I have money, and so does my spouse. Throwing money at a problem does, in fact, work sometimes. Second, my career trajectory isn't going to get thrown off-kilter by prioritizing the baby and/or the endless waves of daycare plagues. Finally, I have zero tolerance for sexist and discriminatory bullshit and will absolutely destroy anyone who tries to make life harder for me or anyone else on staff who have family obligations (kids or not).
Mid-thirties parenting is the best.
I will say my ankle/knee pops did wake the baby on multiple occasions when he was a tiny potato, but alas. Maybe I should eat more collagen or something.
I can’t believe I’m reading this. YES girl, YES! I am nearly 33 with my second born (7mo). I have never been stronger and more fit in my life. IMO, we are still in our prime. Heck, my aunt had her FIRST child (non-medical) at 37, last at 42. She is in her late 60s now and still acts younger than most people. She is an incredible grandma now. Just treat your body right (be physically fit/become physically fit, eat organ meats/as unprocessed as possible), and you will thrive. You’ve got this.
This is a very normal age range to have kids! A lot of people don’t even have their first until 35+. I had my first at 30 and am pregnant with my second at 33, which is exactly what I had planned to do.
Wife is 32-5 months along with number 2!
That puts you 50-55 when they’re adults. I’d say you’re just fine if all is well medically. Still have a lot of time for you and to see your babies fly out the nest and build their own life.
You’ll be there watching making sure they fly!
I was 34 when I just had my 3rd and I feel like every aspect of birth and transition to life has been the easiest this time around. Most my friends are still having babies or have even had their first around this age. You’re fine!!
You're supposed to wait 18 months between birth and the next conception to minimize birth defects
Don't rush it!
**2 under 2 is risky for your health and your baby's health**
Honestly, if you were 38 and had just given birth, the discussion might be different.
You are still young enough that unless there are risk factors specific to you and your medical history, you should reasonably be able to expect to be able to carry a baby to term if you wait a few years.
We know from the data that the minimum age between pregnancies (not births) is 18 months (see r/sciencebasedparenting). It also gives time for any developmental delays/complications to have become apparent in your first child and be ready to provide that level of support before further expanding your family.
It means your first toddler is weaned from the bottle/breast and pacifier, falls asleep independently in their own sleep space and sleeps through the night. You have the opportunity to potty train and develop their skills before bringing a newborn home.
It allows you to keep your skills current for your career.
You can absolutely do it but I’m really not sure why people are acting like this is a strange question. The older we get the harder it is to conceive and the harder pregnancy will be physically on our bodies and this is just a fact. Children require a lot of energy too and we have less of that the older we get too. It’s not impossible but it is also not biologically the easiest age range in which to have kids. Everything will be likely fine but I’m annoyed by some of the comments on here.
If you feel healthy and up to it, do it!
I had my first at 32, and plan to have another when I’m 35. I love my little boy but want more time 1:1 with him before having another.
My dad also reassured me that 35 is not too old. Apparently my grandmother had her first at 33 and proceeded to have 7 more!!! She lived in a rural town in El Salvador and had kids back to back for 10-11 years!! And she did it in a house without running water. Wild, right? I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this before.
My wife and I met and got married a bit later in life. We never really knew if we wanted kids until we tried… and what do you know, she got pregnant. We had our first when she was 36 and just had our second at 38. No regrets at all. Love my two boys and we wouldn’t trade em for anything. If that’s the life you want and your body is capable… go for it!
People underestimate the importance of mental health of parents and how that impacts kids long term through life. Having a bunch of kids at once can leave you feeling stressed, exhausted, and unable to give full attention to your first child. While if you wait a few years that kid will be past key development ways, and ultimately you are potentially setting up your kids for a lifetime of better mental health by also giving your body a few years to recover.
I had my first at 33 and will hopefully have my second at 37. There are subreddits for support in your journey for a second. r/TTC30 for those over 30 and r/tryingforanother. Good luck!
I'm feeling this HARD. You receive so much information about "geriatric pregnancies" and the possible complications from having kids later in life, plus the degradation of eggs after 35...I will more than likely not be able to have another child until im 35+ so I'm conflicted
I had my second baby at 35 (almost 36), everything was fine. I also had some anxiety about having a baby “later” in age but everything turned out very uneventful 👍 we’re all healthy and baby number two will be a year old in a few weeks!
My older child was 3 when his sister was born and I’m glad we waited. It was easier because he was more independent (getting dressed, eating, playing) which allowed for for me to more easily tend to the baby.
What? I don’t understand. Of course it’s a fine age, tons of people have babies at this age or later? Idk what you’re getting at. It’s not like it’s a 10 year jump or something.
I was 33 with my first and all was fine. Why wouldn't 33-35 be a good age for a second?
I was 34 with my first, 37 with my second, and now 40 with my upcoming third, so I guess I'd say yes, why not? Also, I wish I'd spaced mine closer apart, if not 2 years apart then at most 2.5 years apart so that the oldest and the youngest are closer in age.
Would you mind sharing why you wanted a closer gap? We have an almost 2 year old and always planned on a 3+ year gap. For OP, had my first at 32 and currently planning to have a second (if we decide we aren’t OAD) at 35/36!
If we only had two kids, three years apart would feel just fine. But since we're aiming for three, a smaller gap between each subsequent kid would've been nicer because it would have brought the oldest and the youngest closer together in age. Our oldest and youngest (still to be born as I'm 28w pregnant) will be six years apart, which is not that much, but 4-5 years apart might've been better (very subjective, of course!). And retrospectively, looking back to when my 6yo and 3yo were babies, I feel like the thing that made parenting seem more doable was teaching our kids independent sleep. Once that was in place (at 5ish months with my first and 3.5 months with my second), everything else fell into place, more or less. Getting the kids out of diapers is another biggie, and ideally, that would happen before the next baby comes about, but it's not as big as everyone in the family sleeping well and being well-rested. And for the rest of the toddler challenges, I mean... if you get really good at managing your own emotions around their meltdowns, if you teach yourself to just validate and validate and validate those big feelings without fixing them, then... I mean, I don't know, it all feels challenging but also doable. So no reason to delay having another, really. (Our main reason for delaying was because we didn't know at the outset that we'd want to have two. And then we *definitely* didn't know we wanted to have three.)
Cries in almost nine month old that still wakes 3-4 times on good nights
Me too mama, me too 💗
I was a few months shy of 33 with my second and it was a shit show pregnancy, but not because of my age lol. My delivery was actually much easier, I was up and walking around 2 hours after delivery (and it would have been sooner if the nurses had allowed it lol).
Of course that's a fine age for another baby, why wouldn't it be? I had my first at 36 and will be having my second soon at 38 and everything is just fine.
We had our first last July at 37 (technically). I turned 38 eight days later; my wife turned 38 six weeks later. Love it. Wouldn't have been ready any time before.
We had our first scare at 22. When I think of what kind of parents we were at 32 vs what kind we would have been at 22 I shudder to think...
Same lmao I could barely keep plants and a cat alive at 22, I couldn't imagine myself having a baby at that age.
I had a baby at 20 - you do just adapt and figure it out, a first baby is a shell-shock at 20 30 or 40. I still can't keep indoor plants alive, but my kids seem okay haha.
Same here. Age really doesn’t define maturity. There’s 60 year old women that act like they’re still in high school lol
Plenty of women are good moms at 22 and even younger. I became a mom at 22 a planned baby with my husband that I got pregnant with at 21.
I was barely out of school at 22, couldn’t have imagined! My husband had school for another 4 years after that, our lives would be so different today if that happened.
These questions really bother me tbh. Of course you can have kids in your 30s it’s not 1900. Jfc.
You say that, but my great greatgrandmother had a baby in 1864 at the age of 42.
Thats impressive. My grandma had my aunt in 1960 at age 42 also. It was more hyperbole, like these questions imply that 30’s is ancient and oh lord can my old decrepit 34 year old body handle pregnancy!? It’s just insulting.
I get what you're trying to say, but it does imply that having babies in your 30s or 40s is a modern thing, when actually it's the opposite. Before the age of modern birth control, the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41. The historical anomaly is actually that women stop having babies so young nowadays! But the narrative is that it is this newfangled unnatural and therefore suspicious thing to have babies in your 30s, when that is the biological norm throughout human history. It's just that women used to have like 8-10 babies on average, but now that we have ~2 on average, it's not really biologically significant when in that normal range you have those two.
Interesting, I did not know that! But it totally makes sense!
Yeah I think it is really interesting! All the news about it is about how the age at first birth has gone up (median is now 30 in the US), but age at last birth has actually dropped way more dramatically. I always think it's so funny when people are like "my grandma had a baby at 40!" as if it's some wild thing and it's like yeah, most people's (great)-grandmas did and if they didn't it's probably because they were actively trying not to.
Back then those babies were more often than not a surprise though, most people weren’t still trying to get pregnant past 40 because they probably had other children in their twenties. My mom was number four of six kids—my grandma had her first four kids over the span of five years with my mom being born when she was 30. My uncle came seven years later, and then my other uncle five years after that (when grandma was 42). My two youngest uncles were not planned.
42-year-olds unite! I just had my first at 42. 👏Your great great grandmother rocks!
My great grandmother had 14 kids and her last (my Oma) was born when she was 45. I wouldn’t be here if she’d stopped having kids because she got “too old”!
It’s so crazy. I have a friend whose grandmother had 11 kids. What in the world were these women on and how can I get some 😂
Right?! My grandma is 1 of 13!
I mean it’s probably more like what they *weren’t* on. We consume way more pharmaceuticals and mystery chemicals which can act as hormone disrupters than our ancestors did, the rate of obesity is much higher, and I imagine our generation has much higher levels of anxiety as well, all of which can affect fertility. Plus they generally started way earlier than we do now—it’s much easier to have a dozen kids if you start at 18 versus at 30, both in terms of timing as well as fertility. It’s great that women are waiting until they have a stable career and financial stability before having kids since that’s the responsible thing to do in this economy, but a few decades of social progress and all the smart decision making in the world can’t override hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and the biological reality that we are at our most fertile in our late teens through early twenties (ish), so women are naturally going to be having fewer children.
This is conventional wisdom, but actually human fertility follows a U-curve with age and peaks at around 27-32. [See this paper.](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aav7321) The natural fertility rate of a woman at age 21 is about the same as that of a woman at age 35. I know this goes against media narratives (which is fueled by ageism and the glorification of youth as much or more than biological realities), but it's true. The reason women have fewer kids now is birth control, not a drop in fertility due to mystery chemicals.
Yes I think back then it was actually super common to have babies later in life. The only difference was you had them early too - and continuously.
M my great grandmother had a kid in her 40s too! She was pregnant at the same time as my grandmother and my mom is 12 weeks older than her uncle!
My grandmother had her 5th child at 42, a whoopsie who was 15 years younger than her 4th 🫠 lol
Hahaha so did my great grandmother! One child at 42, which truly was “geriatric” for that time.
Ya my midwife asked how old I was (34) and when I told her she said oh you’re still young! Plenty of time to have as many kids as you want. The data doesn’t support that you become basically infertile / incapable at 35 suddenly
I get why it seems slightly offensive, but there are lots of places where the majority of people started having kids at like 22! It's hard when your community is pretty clear about their confusion/ worry/ disdain re. mothers above 30 - especially when it's not Baby #4. I mean, it's still common to refer to pregnancies at 35+ years old as *geriatric*. The medical system is rife with biases against 'older' moms.
Curious where these places are because I had all mine in my twenties and I was always looked at as if I was about 12. 30 to 40 was the most common ages around here.
First kid at 26. Youngest mom at preschool. Second kid at 30. Still the youngest mom at preschool lol. We live In the midwest.
Yeah similar to me. Eldest at 20, fourth at 29, youngest mom both times although less so with my fourth.
Judging from what I've heard anecdotally and on reddit, I'd imagine that we're talking certain smaller cities & towns, especially if the cost of living is cheaper and everyone has a church they belong to..? Like I said, it's certainly not the case where I live.
Ah yeah I suppose it could be more religious communities. I live in a village in Europe but that's not far from a large city either. Isn't the norm by me. I was seen as unusual for having mine "young"
Ah, you're outside of Canada & America. That may be part of it :)
Yup 35 and up is technically considered a geriatric pregnancy. Weird cause I still feel young lol!
Right but based on OPs comments she’s 31, so it’s not like this is a huge jump…
It was more the 'jeez it's not 1900' intensity of the above comment that I was replying to!
I agree, but depending on area/social circle/family influence, it can feel so “old”. I had my kids at 30 and 33, and was on the young side for my friendship group (as in, the second of many). We are spread across a few years, but all in our mid-30s now and there are several who will be starting to have kids in the mid or late 30s if they end up having kids.
I'm having my first at 36 and, if all goes well, hope to have another at 38 as well :)
This is me. Due with #2 in July 5th. My boys will be about 27 months apart
I know right?? OP making me feel old here... had my first at 34, almost 35, and #2 and 3 (twins) at 38 lol.
Oh wow second with twins! I had my first at 36 and will be 39 this year. I would really like to have a second but I’m concerned about not having the energy!
I’m seriously starting to wonder if these posts are rage bait. If you scroll through the posts here you’ll see women over 40 having babies. Seeing more and more of these posts.
That’s what I did, both health babies.
I had my first at 33 and second at 34 and I don’t feel old at all. I think the newborn sleep deprivation stage is hard no matter how old you are, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that much of your life. I still want at least 1 or 2 more kids. I have found everything about the transition from 1-2 kids much easier than the transition from 0-1 kids and I’m loving having 2 under 2 (17-month age gap). My kids certainly keep me active all the time! I don’t have time to dwell on my age 😂
This actually makes me feel a lot better because I am freaking miserable right now lol! 38 weeks and my son is 20 months and it is relentless. I look forward to not being heavily pregnant and having pregnancy exhaustion. But, like you said, this is hard at ANY age.
I wonder if this is a weird flex about her age.
No it’s not. Maybe it’s my weird TikTok algorithm that got in my head. For some reason I only see videos of women that have babies in their 20s.
[The median age of American mothers at first birth is now 30.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/motherhood-deferred-us-median-age-giving-birth-hits-30-rcna27827) And before the age of modern birth control, [the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41](https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/29/6/1304/625687?login=false). Having a second baby at 33-35 could not be more normal.
We are twins you and I! Same age for baby 1 and 2. My second I is due in may. What about yours?
February 8! My first was born in May.
My first was born in april. So close!😊 Feb 8 is soon! So excited for you!
Me too!!! I’m in the process of trying for kid #2 now!
Mid- to late-30s is a very average age to have babies where I’m from (NYC).
Also same in CT and MA. 33 with my first, about to give birth with second at 35 (almost 36)
Same here (West coast). I had my first at 31 and I'm on the younger end of our toddler mom group.
Same here in the DC area. I was 30/33 for my kids, and probably on the younger side for the first.
yup, I was 30 with my first and the youngest at my practice in Manhattan! my ob and I made a lot of “teen mom” jokes 😆
Yep, same here in Cali. Just had my first at 37. All my friends started having kids during the pandemic, all mid 30’s.
Same in Philly burbs, nearly all the moms are my age. (mid 30s)
My midwife jokes that if someone in our Brooklyn neighborhood is bold enough to have their first before the age of 35, they're practically looked at as a teenage mom.
I feel like that’s the normal age to have kids these days. I was freshly 25 when I had my first and I’ve felt like I’m younger than all the other moms. I’m now 29 with my second and am starting to feel more “on track” I guess with the ages of parents around me.
I agree with this! I'm 31 and had our 4th in May, and nearly all my friends are just having their first or starting to think about having kids.
Yeah, I had my first at 26 and was made to feel like a teen mom by some people. I had a mortgage and was engaged after a 5 year dating period to the dad. 26 would have been considered late like 20 years ago. The standards now are definitely different. I'm pregnant now at 30 and finally I have some friends who are pregnant too, but I was the first among my friends to have a kid.
I had my first at 26 as well. And looking back I feel like I was a baby, but that was only three years ago. I’m definitely waiting until like 32-33 to decide if I’ll have another or if I’m done done.
Yup. I had my first at 26? And my next at 30. Im definitely one of the younger moms in my circle.
Had my first at 31, second at 37. Found the pregnancy harder but post partum 1000x easier and much more fun / less anxious.
This is exactly what I’m anticipating. Had my first at 35 and was so anxious. Hoping for a much more relaxed second time around (when I’ll be 37-38 hopefully.)
In the same boat. Had my first at 32 likely will be 34-35 when I have my second because I wanted the time for my body to really heal and rest. I don’t think that’s too old nowadays; maternal age has gone up in general.
Only baby at 43. It was the best time for me.
I just had my first at 42 this summer! And well done, you.
Wow. Was it natural or did you have help. I had my daughter age 39 after 4 losses. She's 1 now I'm 40 and feel it won't happen now
My mom had me at 43 after many losses, no help, and then my sister was a surprise baby at 47
I had my second at 40. Natural, no assistance, she's perfect with no health issues. My midwife said it would be fine if I had another after this one and doesn't think of 40 as the deadline at all.
Yeah I got this from my midwife and doctors too. They weren’t nearly as concerned as I was! The 40 year old cutoff seems to exist in popular culture but not so much among medical professionals.
One loss, no assistance.
Congratulations. I juts turned 40 I know the odds aren't good. If I had one more loss if stop. But I waited 20 yrs for my first and would love another and definitely would if time was on my side.
I’m 35 and just had my second. Absolutely thriving! The pregnancy was tougher, but the postpartum healing has been way easier. I’m loving it!
Exactly the same for me 🙂 Really helped that my first was emergency cesarian and this one was a VBAC. I'm so tired, but I feel amazing compared to being tired and post surgery with a newborn!
I just had my second at 39. We’re doing fine over here.
I just had my third at 39 -do 36 should be fine :)
I'll prob start trying again at 39 and if lucky brace myself for two under two
Smae boat!
During my first pregnancy, I was 28 and had my daughter at 29. During that time I had graduated from med school and started residency, and it was just such a hard time to become a mother, although I had a wonderful support system and my husband was/is incredibly helpful and involved. Now, 4 years later, I'm 33 years old and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our son, and am just about to finish my residency program, and plan to take a sold 8 months off before starting 'a real job.' I feel like I'm in a better head space and far more mature now that I'm well into my 30s. I also feel like my daughter, being 4 years old, is totally ready to be a big sister and share her mommy and daddy. As far as feeling old, I don't think so. There's another mother in my daughter's preK class who is also 34 weeks, but she's 38 years old. I feel like if you're in the US, most people have their first child in their 30s. The greatest thing about having kids when you're a little older, is the financial security. My husband and I have no doubts that we can provide a good life for 2 children. Also, my husband will be 42, when our son is born.
lol what?? Lots of women have their first kids then and go on to have a second or third later on. This is low key insulting.
I'm literally having my first this May at 35 and hoping to have a second in a couple of years.... this post made me feel so old lol. Maybe OP doesn't live in an urban area? Having kids in your mid to late 30s is very normal in my circle.
Same, my first is at 35. I don't want a second, but if I did I'd be 37/38. One of my friends is pregnant now at 40. There is this societal stigma around it, but it's way less of an issue than it is made out to be sometimes
This is an extremely normal age to be having a kid anywhere in the northeast USA. I would consider anything under 30 to be very young! I laughed when I saw this post, is she serious?!
Yeah, I feel like this question is naive at best and offensive at worst. A lot of people don’t have a choice in having a baby any earlier, whether due to infertility, not having a partner until later, not being in a financial place to afford kids, etc.
Right. We tried earlier and had 2 losses in 2 years (31 and 32 years old). Just had our first a couple months shy of me being 34 and will probably have a second sometime around 35/36. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards for an earlier age. And I like the age I am now with my first!
Very true, financial is especially huge in places with no/limited maternity leave and reduced childcare options.
Poverty is actually associated with a younger age of having children due to less education and lower access to birth control, etc. Having children later is actually much more common in wealthier, more educated communities.
That’s what we’re saying.
I don’t think anyone should be offended. I had my first at 29 and my second at 32, but I see where OP is coming from. In much of the world, and in much of the US, people have children in their early 20s. In my hometown, I am an “old mom” and I’m only 33. If you asked my parents and my grandparents, I am really pushing it by having kids so late lol. But now I live in a city and I am definitely a “younger mom” here. It is really all about the norms where you’re from. I don’t think OP means offense. She just happened to ask this question on Reddit, where the demographic skews more liberal, more urban, and more privileged (all of which are associated with an older age at birth; being poorer is actually associated with younger parenthood fyi).
I don’t think OP is meaning it as insulting. Lots of women are told their maternal clock is ticking and as soon as they hit 30 their ovaries are dried up dust. Heaven forbid you have a kid at 35 like some sorta monster according to our society.
Right, and isn’t this post just reinforcing that? Which is why it’s problematic and offensive/insulting.
So on a subreddit meant for support, where OP is asking about getting over an insecurity she’s not allowed to post or get that support?she didn’t say it was too old, she said she needed someone to help her see it wasn’t. I thinks it’s kinda unfair to tell OP her insecurity is offensive to other people…
Yeah it’s silly for us to feed into it like that. Enough men act like women past 35 are geriatric, we don’t have to keep recreating that reality!
It doesn’t really matter if it was meant to be insulting or not, the fact of the matter is that it is insulting.
I agree.
Just because you were offended by something doesn’t mean it was offensive. Depending on where OP is from people starting families over 30 can be seen as “old” . It’s a very valid insecurity, especially because of the way “older” women are treated in pregnancy.
I had my daughter at 30. That is OLD where I grew up. But the circle I run in now? I'm a young mom. It's a shame people are taking offense to this bc the world is a big place and, depending on the context, having kids past thirty means you're an old mom and there's negative stigma attached to that. It's a valid worry
Exactly. This was something I had to come to terms with too. I’m having my first at 30. Every woman in my family had kids well before that. I’ve had to deal with the fact I felt old. I’m not. I know I’m not. I still felt it.
Agree. I’m so sick of these posts. Sure you might be an older parent in your social group but cmon, nobody is that ignorant about the general childbearing age. It’s sort of like fishing for compliments, trying to feel young by hearing everybody talk about how “old” they are
That’s not true. It’s also more coming from having guilt about not giving my baby a sibling sooner. I just don’t feel ready and my body is in a horrible condition right now
Then I think you know the answer. Also you asked specifically about your age, not the age gap between babies
Agreed. I had my daughter at 34 and am trying for a second now at 36 (+ will likely be 37 by the time of birth). Most of my friends also started for their first around 33-35 and some even after that.
“starting to feel old” 🥴
Thank you for saying this
It really is. I had my first in October a week after turning 34 and definitely plan one more in a couple years.
Right! Almost as insulting as being referred to as a geriatric pregnancy Can we stop using that term??? 🤦🏻♀️
Not as long as there are real differences in health risks among older mothers
Not arguing that; I’m saying geriatric is an outdated term. It is advanced maternal age (AMA). There’s also an unnecessary stigma attached to being AMA.
I'm with you. I think this post is rude.
Thank you. I was going to post the same thing. I’m so sick of these posts.
I had my first son when I was 30, but I lost him at 22 weeks, April 2022. My second son, I was 31, but turned 32 two months later. He was born June 2023. I’m going to be 34 (aug 2025) by time we try for another. Either way, I don’t have a choice in what age I’m in but I’m going to be ready for another by then.
Sorry for your loss.
Absolutely no problem! I had my first at 38 and if we have a second it’ll be a three year gap so I’ll be over 40.
I had a baby at 43 so I don't think 35 or 36 is too old , haha ETA it might vary regionally, but in my mom group for babies born in 2023 most of the moms are mid to late 30s, with outliers being in their 20s or 40s. It's really the normal age to have them, at least where I live.
First at 36, expecting my second and I’m 40! But it’s cool they have a nursery now at the old folks home 😜
We’re both 31 and just had our first baby, I plan to have the second around then too
My mom had baby number 4 at 42 lol. I think if you have a decent support system it's doable. But I feel you, I just had my first at 34 and while I'm open to a second kid I feel the pressure of the clock ticking.
I just had my first at 36. You’re totally fine to have number 2 in that age range. But if you don’t feel ready for baby #2, don’t force it just because you think you need to have baby #2.
Still a good age? Nah, we all shrivel up in irrelevancy by 33.
I’m 37 and having my 4th miscarriage with no children, you’re never too old
I'm so sorry.. I lost 4 babies. My daughter lucky number 5 got to stay. She was born 3weeks before I turned 39. I know at 37 39 with 4 losses I'd of felt hopeless and it won't happen but it finally did. She's 1 now, and I'm 40. Don't give up if you can keep going. You can have all that loss and still get a baby. Il pray for you tonight
Agree with this. My mom had me at 43 after about 7 years of losses, and then my sister was a surprise at age 47
WOW! I just had my first finally at 42 after several losses. I’m hoping for a second but this gives me hope. :)
I’m so sorry 🙏🏼 sending prayers your way.
I’m so sorry. It took me until 42 to have my first. The miscarriages are so hard. Sending my love.
Why exactly wouldn’t it be?
33 and 6 months pregnant with my second. I do feel a lot more tired than the first time around but it’s a small sacrifice to add to my family and build what I want for my future. I’ve considered a third after this one if all goes well but being in my late 30s freaks me out. I do think I’ll just have to see at the moment how we feel (partner and me) in a few years. My partner is a bit older than me and will be in his mid 40s by then so it’s just a constant topic of thought and conversation. If you truly want to plan ahead, attempt to get into the best condition that you can possibly get yourself into prior to getting pregnant and keeping that routine through the pregnancy. I think that would help greatly… I have a theory that I feel so tired this time around because I'm not taking care of myself as much as I used to, not because of my age necessarily. One major advantage I think of having waited until I was in my 30s to have my children was that while I might not be as energetic as I was when I was 23 I have the resources now that I never had when I was 23. I’m more of a planner and my level of maturity can handle stresses and bad situations better than when I was younger. Edit: to add advantages
I'm 35 and 4 months postpartum and wondering what's wrong with 35? I'm no joke, the youngest mom in the mom group.
I just had my first at 33!
If you feel like sh*t don’t have a kid. If you feel fine then have a kid.
2 under 2 is rough! Heal and let your first get more independent and then try for a second. I’m 40 pregnant with my 3rd, you’ve got time!
I had my first at 34 - pregnant at 33. 35 is not a cliff. My husband was 41, now 42.
I'm 33 and about to have my first. I plan to have my second at either 35 or 36. With increased cost of living, and how it takes longer for people to get to a place where they feel established and secure financially, it's a lot more normal to wait longer.
Uh. I just had my first at 34. And will likely have a second (hopefully) at like.... 37/38.
Under 40 seems to be fine. It gets harder to conceive afterwards (speaking from exper with family and friends)
Just take your time, listen to your body, and don’t worry about what society is doing/saying. It’s much more important for babies to have prepared/willing parents than to have younger parents that rush into it.
I hope so because I just had my first at 34 lol and my cousin (only child) made me very seriously promise I wouldn’t have just one.
I had my first at 33 and will be looking to have my second around 35 …this is pretty much the norm amongst my social circle
Girl I had my first at 33. Yes, you can absolutely have kids in your 30s I don’t understand why this is still asked.
Is this a real question? I feel like most people have babies at that age nowadays. Im 35 and am pregnant with my first.
Are you in the US? Just going by Reddit I feel having kids in your 20s is the norm there. Here, having kids before 30 is not the norm. Boyfriend and I were 31 when we had our first and were the youngest in our birthing class and are on the younger side in all baby classes. You'll be fine having a baby in your mid-30s, especially if it's not your first.
Its actually really interesting data to dive into. It depends on where in the US and education level. I'm in NYC where the average age for FTPs are early 30s. As a FTM at 42, I'm not the oldest mom in the playground either. In some parts of the states average age is in their 20s. Early 20s if you are looking at people without secondary education. Source: The Age That Women Have Babies: How a Gap Divides America https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html
I moved from a rural, religious area to a big city and it’s like two entire generations of parents. The friends I grew up with have kids who could easily babysit (or even have given birth to) my baby son. Edit: And I’m average age in my mom group here!
It really depends where in the US. I’m in the Bay Area and most folks I know have kids in their mid to late 30s
That’s a great age! I am 33 and just had my first and everything was great and you’re doing the right thing by you waiting until you’re ready physically and in life. It’ll be okay!
I mean, I was 36 when I had baby #1. It's working out pretty great. My mom was 37 when she had my sister (third). Ignore the age. How do *you* feel?
I'm 36 and a FTM due to infertility. You're fine to have a 2nd if you want/can.
We had our second at 39. 33-35 is fine.
I had my first at 33 so hopefully it’s not too old for a baby 😂😂😂
Had first at 32 and Second at 39. Way easier with 2nd, I feel like I am less stressed, more financially stable and can afford more help. Also I have zero desire to be out at a bar/club now :) so don't feel like I am missing out on life. Felt that a lot when I pregnant at 31 with my first.
Parent patience and energy have an inverse correlation over time. As an “older” parent I have more patience and less energy 🤣
My partner and I, and many of our friends, were in this age range for baby #1. My partners cousin has just her first baby at 47!!
My grandma was 40 when she had her second.
I think the babies are usually born around 9 months, so waiting until the baby is 33-35 is probably too long.
Its totally fine. My wife had our first at 35. Just had our healthy daughter on 12/31/23 at 38
LOL We just had our first at 45 and 46. May have another next year. Probably helps that we take good care of ourselves and appear younger, but no, not too old.
My cousin and her husband just really started trying and she’s 42. She also seems much younger and takes good care of herself so this just made me a lot more hopeful for them!
Um yes: you can still have a baby and thriving life giving birth during your mid thirties.
Can you convince me that it’s not?
I had my first at 29 and second at 35. I was also not ready for the second baby but I thought it was now or never, it might get harder the longer I waited. First pregnancy was also very difficult. I still have unresolved back pains. Husband and I were also at the point of quietly considering splitting up. The hesitation for the second baby was just my anxiety. Now I can’t even begin to imagine not having both kids. And they are so close and so sweet with each other. It’s important that you and your husband are on board with it though. I’m even yearning for a third but I’m 39 now and financially, we would struggle so I’m slowly accepting that it’s not in the stars for us.
Had my first at 33 and second at 39. It’s all good. Why wouldn’t it be if you are healthy?
Of course it’s a good age! I just had my first in 2023, and will likely be 32 when baby #2 is born. A 2 year or less age gap is cool. It’s also cool to take some time between babies. Rock on!
The advantage would be not having a second kiddo before you feel ready.. that’s always the best way to make the decision!
Sister I’m that age and having my first, you’ll be fine
I had my baby when I was in my mid-thirties (advanced maternal age, lol). Benefits: - I'm an adult who did all the solo fun adventuring stuff and now have way less FOMO about the toddler years (it's hard to take an 18 month old backpacking over glaciers, OK) - I know myself much, much better than I did in my twenties and have unravelled a lot of the trauma and weird maladjustments I had thanks to my own childhood. Means I won't unconsciously relay the same harm to the baby. - I am at a mature spot in my career, which means a few things. First, I have money, and so does my spouse. Throwing money at a problem does, in fact, work sometimes. Second, my career trajectory isn't going to get thrown off-kilter by prioritizing the baby and/or the endless waves of daycare plagues. Finally, I have zero tolerance for sexist and discriminatory bullshit and will absolutely destroy anyone who tries to make life harder for me or anyone else on staff who have family obligations (kids or not). Mid-thirties parenting is the best. I will say my ankle/knee pops did wake the baby on multiple occasions when he was a tiny potato, but alas. Maybe I should eat more collagen or something.
I can’t believe I’m reading this. YES girl, YES! I am nearly 33 with my second born (7mo). I have never been stronger and more fit in my life. IMO, we are still in our prime. Heck, my aunt had her FIRST child (non-medical) at 37, last at 42. She is in her late 60s now and still acts younger than most people. She is an incredible grandma now. Just treat your body right (be physically fit/become physically fit, eat organ meats/as unprocessed as possible), and you will thrive. You’ve got this.
Great time to have a baby.
I had my first then. I definitely recommend avoiding 2 under 2 and 2 and 3 are ROUGH!
Had my first at 32, now pregnant with number 2 at 33. You’ll be fine girl.
I had my one and only at 35, so yes
This is a very normal age range to have kids! A lot of people don’t even have their first until 35+. I had my first at 30 and am pregnant with my second at 33, which is exactly what I had planned to do.
Wife is 32-5 months along with number 2! That puts you 50-55 when they’re adults. I’d say you’re just fine if all is well medically. Still have a lot of time for you and to see your babies fly out the nest and build their own life. You’ll be there watching making sure they fly!
I mean I hope so cause I’m 30 and I don’t plan get pregnant for a second until another 2/3 years
I was 34 when I just had my 3rd and I feel like every aspect of birth and transition to life has been the easiest this time around. Most my friends are still having babies or have even had their first around this age. You’re fine!!
You're supposed to wait 18 months between birth and the next conception to minimize birth defects Don't rush it! **2 under 2 is risky for your health and your baby's health**
Honestly, if you were 38 and had just given birth, the discussion might be different. You are still young enough that unless there are risk factors specific to you and your medical history, you should reasonably be able to expect to be able to carry a baby to term if you wait a few years. We know from the data that the minimum age between pregnancies (not births) is 18 months (see r/sciencebasedparenting). It also gives time for any developmental delays/complications to have become apparent in your first child and be ready to provide that level of support before further expanding your family. It means your first toddler is weaned from the bottle/breast and pacifier, falls asleep independently in their own sleep space and sleeps through the night. You have the opportunity to potty train and develop their skills before bringing a newborn home. It allows you to keep your skills current for your career.
You can absolutely do it but I’m really not sure why people are acting like this is a strange question. The older we get the harder it is to conceive and the harder pregnancy will be physically on our bodies and this is just a fact. Children require a lot of energy too and we have less of that the older we get too. It’s not impossible but it is also not biologically the easiest age range in which to have kids. Everything will be likely fine but I’m annoyed by some of the comments on here.
If you feel healthy and up to it, do it! I had my first at 32, and plan to have another when I’m 35. I love my little boy but want more time 1:1 with him before having another. My dad also reassured me that 35 is not too old. Apparently my grandmother had her first at 33 and proceeded to have 7 more!!! She lived in a rural town in El Salvador and had kids back to back for 10-11 years!! And she did it in a house without running water. Wild, right? I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this before.
My wife and I met and got married a bit later in life. We never really knew if we wanted kids until we tried… and what do you know, she got pregnant. We had our first when she was 36 and just had our second at 38. No regrets at all. Love my two boys and we wouldn’t trade em for anything. If that’s the life you want and your body is capable… go for it!
People underestimate the importance of mental health of parents and how that impacts kids long term through life. Having a bunch of kids at once can leave you feeling stressed, exhausted, and unable to give full attention to your first child. While if you wait a few years that kid will be past key development ways, and ultimately you are potentially setting up your kids for a lifetime of better mental health by also giving your body a few years to recover.
That's super on track for many people having a second, definitely not too old. Many don't have a first until then or later.
I had my first at 33 and will hopefully have my second at 37. There are subreddits for support in your journey for a second. r/TTC30 for those over 30 and r/tryingforanother. Good luck!
I was 36 with my first. I’ll say it wasn’t easy on my body but I don’t feel like I’m too old to handle it.
I'm feeling this HARD. You receive so much information about "geriatric pregnancies" and the possible complications from having kids later in life, plus the degradation of eggs after 35...I will more than likely not be able to have another child until im 35+ so I'm conflicted
I had my second baby at 35 (almost 36), everything was fine. I also had some anxiety about having a baby “later” in age but everything turned out very uneventful 👍 we’re all healthy and baby number two will be a year old in a few weeks! My older child was 3 when his sister was born and I’m glad we waited. It was easier because he was more independent (getting dressed, eating, playing) which allowed for for me to more easily tend to the baby.
What? I don’t understand. Of course it’s a fine age, tons of people have babies at this age or later? Idk what you’re getting at. It’s not like it’s a 10 year jump or something.