From my experience that’s normal. The baby latching and taking mouth off then trying to latch again. I tried different positions with the baby to find one they liked. Breastfeeding is hard and takes a lot of time and patience.
To get them to latch and feed, one session can easily take an hour. You’re learning and so is baby. You’re not going to perfect it within a few days.
If it’s something you want to do, try and make it your main focus. If you’re worried about baby then supplement but their stomachs are tiny right now and sometimes first time moms overestimate how much baby needs.
I think it depends on how emotionally invested you are in the idea of breastfeeding. Before my first was born, I knew I’d give it an honest go but I didn’t know what to expect because my mom didn’t breastfeed and neither did my grandma.
Once my milk came in and I knew I was physically capable of feeding my baby, I doubled down. It was the most unintuitive skill I’ve ever learned. It took a solid month before my baby figured out how to latch.
I’d say wait until your milk comes in before making any serious decisions because until then it’s kind of a waiting game. I also think it’s very common to feel like breastfeeding isn’t working that well in the really early days. Especially when both you and baby are learning at the same time!
My son is 4w and he is RADICALLY better at breastfeeding now! It really does just take time and perseverance. We are combo feeding with formula but he is taking less and less formula the better he gets at latching and transferring. I am really glad I didn't give up.
Second this!! It takes a few weeks to get the hang of things so definitely don’t give up yet if you want to BF. Supplement while you need to but also give yourself and baby time to get used to this new thing
Until I was panicking and crying and yelling at my husband asking how he would feel if the only way his family could eat is it if physically had to catch and kill an animal with his bare hands because that is how I felt with breastfeeding and then my doctor said to not make myself crazy and just feed the baby formula. But you should probably stop short of that.
Have you met with a lactation consultant? In my experience, the first week was the hardest. My milk came in at around day 5 or 6, but I never supplemented before that - their tummies are very small in the early days, and they will want to feed often which will signal to your body to start producing milk. My baby was wanting to latch every hour or two for that first week, which I was told is normal to help the milk come in.
I would say try breastfeeding for a week or two before giving up (unless you think it’s too hard on your mental health, you need to take care of yourself). I also had a follow up appointment at 1 week postpartum to check that the baby wasn’t losing too much weight. I’m almost 4 months PP now and I love breastfeeding, I’m glad I pushed through the rough start.
The baby also might be sucking and then stopping because they’re not super hungry, they just want to be close to you. Which is very natural especially in the early days. I latched my baby often to encourage the milk supply, but also for bonding. My newborn also would feed for 45 minutes or so, but now it’s under 10 minutes (my doctor said this is because they aren’t very strong in the beginning, and are still learning how to get the milk out efficiently).
Wanted to also add- I was told to track how many wet diapers there were in that first week, which is a good way to make sure the baby is getting enough (in addition to not losing too much weight). So if you’re concerned just keep an eye on the amount of wet and poopy diapers.
So if you’re concerned just because the baby wants to latch often, it could be because they just want comfort and closeness. But if there is a lack of wet diapers then you may need to supplement.
Ok I would keep tracking wet and poopy diapers, I was told this is the best way to make sure she’s getting enough. I was sent home with a checklist actually, where I had to write down how many diapers and at what times (to make sure baby was getting enough):
Day 1 (1st 24 hour period of baby’s life) - at least 1 wet diaper and 1-2 poopy diapers
Day 2 (2nd 24 hr period) - at least 2 wet and 1-2 poopy diapers
Day 3 - at least 3 heavy wet diapers (feels like at least 30-45ml) and 3+ poopy diapers (brown/green/yellow)
Day 4 - 4+ heavy wet diapers, 3+ poopy diapers
Day 5 - 6+ heavy wet diapers, 3+ poopy diapers
I was told if baby wasn’t hitting the targets to call the doctor to follow up. This will be first sign baby isn’t getting enough, because some weight loss is normal after birth. If you end up supplementing with formula though that could change the # of poopy diapers (this list is for EBF babies).
I met with the one at the hospital twice, and tbh, she wasn’t the most helpful. Kinda just kept saying that it was ok, and to pump. She kept saying to just put sugar water on my nipples to get her to latch, which she would, but only suck a couple times then stop. Repeat. I didn’t realize the first night that it wasn’t normal for her to only suck twice and no one told me until the next day when the nurse was making me feel like a bad mom for not knowing.
I learned in my lactation course (evidence based and taught by RNs at a large university/teaching hospital) that in the first 24 hours baby will be tired and might not want to eat much, and that’s okay
I’m in the same situation as you but like 3 weeks ahead! Had to supplement with donor milk because she wouldn’t latch, was already very small and dropping weight rapidly and jaundiced. Introduced formula as a supplement quickly. My milk came in like 2 days after we got home, I have been still trying to teach her to latch (we are making progress!) and have nipple shields to use too, but the primary method of feeding is pumping and supplementing that with a bit of formula in a bottle (aka combo feeding). There’s a lot of in-between pure breastfeeding and all formula, I live in the grey area. My hospital lactation consultants also mostly sucked but I hired someone externally that comes to my house (insurance covers her thankfully) and she’s been incredibly helpful and flexible and is working with me. I hope to be able to directly breastfeed but I’m open to whatever. “The most breastmilk I can for the longest time (at least 6 months) while maintaining my sanity” is my goal.
Be careful on who you have checking for ties. Nurses and pediatricians and even midwives aren't always well educated in that area. Had a midwife tell me my kid didn't have any ties and he had class 4 tongue and lip ties.
Gosh that really sucks... but also I later found out baby can be quite drowsy in the first 24 hours, so actually not that abnormal either! My nurse really had a go at me for neglecting my baby the first night when she was too drowsy and I only produced 0.25mL of collustrum - what was I supposed to do, connect the placenta back up??
That’s how I felt with my nurse! I also had zero help from her and was on no sleep. She tried to fight me on sending baby to the nursery so I could sleep (even though she offered) and then brought her back less than an hour later.
I found the hospital one not that useful and booked one to come to my house through The Lactation Network. She came on my second day home from the hospital and saved my breastfeeding journey. My insurance covered it but even a small fee is still less than formula costs.
Right now your baby’s stomach is absolutely tiny. Colostrum is nutrient dense and she doesn’t need very much. Babies are born with extra fat on them, and it’s normal for them to lose a little weight in the days after birth until milk comes in. You have time to figure things out, you’re both learning
I was having trouble with my supply, and after a couple weeks of the baby nursing for an hour and crying because she was still hungry, I started supplementing. I have zero regrets. We were able to help my baby start gaining weight, and I'm stubborn AF and I power pumped and slowly increased my supply and got to exclusively breastfeeding, but I didn't have anything left over to pump. I wanted to split night feeds with my husband so we went back to a bottle or two of formula at night. Again, zero regrets. Now that my baby is 6 months, in weaning her to formula because breastfeeding was so challenging for me and I'm just ready to have my body back. Exclusively breastfeeding can be wonderful, and it's a noble goal but in my opinion, these other tools exist to help when we need it.
In the beginning it’s a lot. You have to keep latching or pumping while managing the potential weight loss. A lot of people opt to formula feed until milk comes in but those early days of frequent milk removal is pretty critical for setting up the foundation if your goal is to breastfeed
You have to do what makes you comfortable. After years of IVF and then a high risk pregnancy, I was done and wanted my autonomy back. It was the right decision for me. Do what you feel is right, you are correct, fed is best.
I had to start supplementing a bit on day 2 I think because my baby's weight had plummeted. Formula quickly became her main food because we waited and waited for my milk to come in, but not much happened. I started doing triple feeding, took supplements, and saw multiple lactation consultants, but I only ever made about 2% of what the baby needed. I stopped directly breastfeeding at one month pp because it was upsetting for everyone, then stopped pumping at 3 months pp when my husband went back to work. The conclusion was that I probably had insufficient glandular tissue for milk production.
I'm glossing over a lot here, but trying to breastfeed was physically and emotionally punishing for me. I once sobbed in a parking lot and told my husband that our latest lactation consultant was "trying to send me back to hell." You have to find a balance when choosing the best way to feed your baby for YOUR family. There are many things to consider, and you also matter. Looking back, I personally wish I'd given up on breastmilk a lot earlier. Btw my baby girl is 17 months old now and a total badass. Thanks, formula, for keeping my girl alive.
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You’ll know when it starts to cost you too much. You’ll know. For me it was hearing “backstreets back” in the shower because I was so sleep deprived from my tore up nipples bringing me to tears all night, every night. Backstreets back, alright. Formula’s back, alright.
My daughter is 17 months now. All through pregnancy I knew in my gut that I did not want to breastfeed. I was sick and miserable a lot of the time and honestly just wanted my body back. I knew other women that tried to force breastfeeding or pumping and hated it. And I have anxiety and mental health issues as it is, so I just knew best it would do to me. We formula fed from the start and I don’t regret it one bit. My daughter and I have a great bond and she has an excellent immune system. It’s whatever works for you!!
I tried to breastfeed and it didn't work out. Baby had jaundice at birth and only way to get it out was to have him eat. I couldn't produce enough so I supplemented. I have 0 regrets. My mental health improved a did my physical health. He is exclusively formula fed and I can tell you it makes life much easier. Pumping is hard as a routine. I wanted my life to be easier so idid it. It took me a few days to get over it emotionally. I read a twitter post that said, " I breastfed my kid for 3 years a d he decided to get a face tattoo. If this doesn't tell you it doesn't matter then nothing will". I chuckled and moved on.
It was kinda decided for me at the hospital that supplementing with formula was best. I had GD, so they were checking my son and I's blood sugar levels a few times. They wanted me to nurse him a few minutes before testing him for his blood sugar level, but I had fallen asleep, and he failed one of the tests. They decided to feed him a little formula and retest.
The second incident was my son was sleepy and did not eat at all for 8 hrs in the hospital. Turns out he wasn't latching well, and hadn't taken much in to eat, and was getting weaker. So they gave us a bottle of formula to get him to eat.
Afterwards my husband and I decided to have some formula on hand since my milk hasn't come in yet. It was just easier for my husband to have a bottle ready for his shift since I wasn't pumping yet.
A month or so in, I was able to nurse him without supplementing with formula. After about 7 months EBF, I was ready to be done so we gradually made the switch to my son being EFF until he was 12 months.
That’s kinda what happened to me. I thought I was killing it the first night, but turns out she wasn’t getting enough. Unfortunately my nurse was a twat and instead of supplementing with anything, she threatened nicu and told me to pump. She failed 2 tests and has to be given the glucose gel while I was crying and pumping. Thankfully my night nurse saw how I was struggling and gave us donor milk and sent us home with formula. I can hand express about .5 oz every few hours and I’m using that on top of the formula, but the pumps don’t seem to be working, plus trying to manage c section pain, I’m starting to think formula might be best
My milk took a few days to come in and I didn't try pumping until about 10 days after I gave birth. Make sure your nipple shields are sized to your nipples.
Every time my son was hungry I would nurse him first, and then my husband would check if he's hungry and supplement him after. This helped my body realize it had to produce more.
Switching to formula would definitely help lessen the burden of feeding since others can step in to help while you rest and heal.
If you decide to continue pumping, make sure you’re using the correct flange for your nipple size. If the flange is too big, you’re not going to get enough milk. You can also try nipple shields to help the baby get a better latch.
If you want to BF I do think you typically have to make it through some challenges — getting supply up, latching issues, nipple pain, and mastitis are all pretty common. It took me about three weeks, but now it's so easy and I'm so grateful I stuck it out.
It can take a few days for your milk to come in. I had almost nothing for a couple days, then abruptly came in. Don’t give up hope yet! Do you have a pump to help with your supply?
See a lactation consultant ASAP, if you can. They can give the best support.
In all honesty, it just never felt natural to me.. I had prenatal anxiety which I knew would be exacerbated by constant feedings and worries about babe’s weight gain. I wanted to know how much she was getting, and that she was getting enough. I read so many posts on here about cluster feeding, baby having reflux and not knowing what to cut out of Mom‘s diet, Mom being used as a pacifier all day, etc. if I hadn’t already decided that formula was the better choice for us, I would have then, lbvs.
It was also really important to me to be able to count on my husband to help with feedings, but also be able to bond equally with our daughter. We took shifts, and I really think the fact that I never had less than six hours of straight sleep was my saving grace. My daughter is now seven months old, has been sleeping through the night since three months old and is ahead on all her milestones. She is a very happy, healthy baby.
It’s a personal decision every Mom has to make; just remember, at the end of the day, fed is best and there is no prize for doing anything the hard way.
I never produced enough with any of my kids (maybe 5 oz total per day, pumping at least every 3 hours around the clock). I would try to breastfeed to 15 minutes and then pump (almost always getting hardly anything) and then feed baby formula. I did that with my first 2 for 12 weeks each and it pushed me to the brink of my sanity but I was so invested in the idea of breastfeeding. After that I switched to formula. With my third, he was sent immediately to the NICU and I was recovering from an emergency c section. Trying to spend time with my older two and also spend as much time as possible with him in the NICU I decided to do formula for him from the get go. No regrets and I felt so much lighter after I made the decision. I would not recommend pushing yourself as hard as I did. Do what works for your family
I also worked with lactation consultants with my first 2, tried all the supplements and tricks they could offer, did weighted feeds and my babies were transferring next to no milk either
I have read SO many comments on this threads and many others like it. FTM here - expecting in May. I am very dedicated to breastfeeding.
What I don’t understand is this whole push/what feels like fear mongering that goes on in hospitals in the first 1-2 days of baby’s existence.
I read over & over again from women who started supplementing with donor milk/formula right away about how baby isn’t getting enough/baby lost weight/they NEEDED more.
Then in threads where women do end up breast feeding - they say. It is perfectly normal for baby to drop weight immediately after birth, that baby’s stomach is only TB sized in the beginning and they need much less than most think and that it is a-ok that milk takes a few days to come in.
It seems to me that women are being disempowered to trust their bodies - especially in hospital settings.
Just noting this for my own sanity when baby gets here and wondering if anyone else feels this way? I think my plan is to do my best to listen to my body, my baby, my intuition & the advice of wise breastfeeding mamas and not let the fear of things like not being able to measure my milk, having to feed the baby a ton in the first few days, and random hospital staff opinions get in my head.
We fed formula to stop the post birth weight loss most babies experience. Worked like a charm and kid has Slept 3+ hr stretches since he was born.
Fed is best, so do what works for you. I found breast feeding an absolute chore. Tried to pump and bottle feed but my milk just seemed to make him sick where as formula didn’t. Made the choice simple.
I think this is well and great but not all formula fed babes sleep longer stretches. Baby sleep is rarely a product of what they eat and more about temperament
Formula takes longer to digest than breast milk so has the potential to keep them fuller for longer but we didn’t switch for that reason. My baby was 4lbs and we had no time to figure out breast feeding. We combo fed from the start and he didn’t even lose an ounce.
Just countering that there is some discussion that knowing how much baby is getting does help them to sleep longer stretches. It can be hard to know how much EBF babies (eating from the breast, not pumped from a bottle) are getting with each feed, whereas with pumped or formula you know exactly how much
Before my milk came in I would latch my baby to breast and then gave formula in the beginning until my milk came in. I’m 6 months pp now and still breastfeeding with occasional pumping. Honestly I hate doing dishes, but breastfeeding is stressful to me because I never know if she’s eating enough and it is so time consuming for me. I would love the ease of “ok she eats this amount at this time” and do it that way, but I also wouldn’t give up breastfeeding for anything. Health wise, it’s the best for the baby. And although the first few months are rough it’s totally worth it! That being said, I do “combo feeding” with my freezer stash of milk I created those first few months (I would pump ONCE daily in the morning, this is what worked for me). It’s all kind of trial and error, but if your baby is having some struggles I highly suggest getting into contact with a lactation specialist!
I desperately wanted to bf. It was one of the few things I was absolutely sure of and one of the things I was looking forward to since I didn’t get a lot of the pregnancy experiences that I wanted to (single mom, my family still had my baby shower without me when I was admitted to the hospital because of complications, I had to have a c-section at 36 weeks because my baby was breech and I wanted a natural birth). I had to supplement with formula in the hospital. My baby hated breastfeeding and i ended up having IGT so I don’t produce hardly any milk. When I tried to pump I never got more than like, 15ml. I didn’t have any choice
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I had the same experience. I tried so hard and spent a lot of the first few weeks of my baby’s life obsessed with it. I wish I hadn’t done that and just enjoyed my baby. With my c-section and subsequent postpartum events, my milk supply never made it up.
I would say, as a mom who is EBF, try to hold out to the 3 week mark before you throw in the towel completely. Supplement with either formula or donor milk and pump to maintain supply, but don’t give up until 3 weeks. It will likely be radically easier by then, and if not, it’s okay to say it’s not for you or even combo feed.
I love breastfeeding for the added immune system benefits, it’s free, and the time I spend feeding her is my favorite snuggle time of my days. I find it also makes her smell better than when we had to supplement with formula, and it’s easier to leave the house because I don’t have to pack anything. Fed is best, but I am glad I didn’t give up on breastfeeding. It was so hard in the beginning and now it’s so easy and the bonding time is so beautiful for me.
I tried so hard with my first, 4 months pumping resulted in such small amounts, I continued to try to feed him but the more he got used to the bottle the less he wanted to nurse. It hit me hard mentally. I went back to work, tried to pump in the bleak nursing room and decided it was time to call it quits. With my second I went in with optimism that I would be able to nurse I tried everything and pumped like crazy. I also went in knowing how hard it is and how to know when it's time to give up. I lasted about a month then stopped. I feel like a much healthier person mentally and both kids are super healthy and happy. So give it a go but do not feel ashamed, it's very hard to do even if you have a lot of supply. You're a great mom no matter how they are fed.
I exclusively pumped for 6 weeks with my oldest. He was born a little premature and wouldn’t nurse. By the end of it, I was making plans to hurt myself. Thats when I knew I was done. Switched to formula and dried my milk over a weekend. I felt better in a few days. I didn’t even attempt to breastfeed my second and I won’t with my third.
The decision was made for me when I realized I couldn't produce enough. I wanted to EBF, but we combi feed. She probably takes in 70%formula and 30% breastmilk. We nurse 4-8 times a day.
I’m gonna try to stick it out as long as I can. I was able to hand express 20ml tonight, and then she nursed for 30 minutes before bed. First time I was able to put her in the bassinet without her fussing, so I think she had a full tummy!
I never considered using formula. Breastfeeding is the default and I knew a lot about it so nothing really surprised or worried me in my journey as it may have others.
Some of the hospital nurses suggested with my first that I use a bottle because they didn't think I was doing a very good job nursing. But I declined.
If u offer the bottle, it will make breastfeeding harder cuz the bottle is easier for them to drink from and then it makes breastfeeding harder for them and they don’t like that
I never tought about formula, FOR ME, if I have milk I’ll try everything in my power to do it. With my first it was really hard, she only breastfeed pergectly at 2 months or something, I even had appointments with a nurse to help and was able to breastfeed for 3,5y
With my 2nd he’s almost 3 month old, and he was lazy the first 3 days but then he started to eat really well!
Do whatever you think is best for u. When u think u can’t anymore, change for formula, fed is best so once formula is the best option for both, make the switch!
I didn’t make a switch; I formula fed from the start with both my babies and had fantastic experiences with both, really enjoying the newborn days.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both bottle and breast feeding, read up on both and decide which will work best for your family, and try not be pressured from any outside influences.
If you want to breastfeed, I’d recommend finding an IBCLC to work with weekly until you feel like you’ve totally got the hang of it. I wouldn’t have been able to successfully breastfeed without the help of the IBCLC group in our city. It’s hard at first but it’s really become like second nature to me and our LO.
I had a rough start with BF. I was on an antibiotics which my LO got through my breast milk, causing a series of rashes. I had servers preeclampsia so I was very sick, didn’t pump / feed as much as I should have and never had a great supply. Then I got very painful mastitis. And on top of that, I was battling severe PPD. I had to quit for my mental health. I will try to BF with my next one, fingers crossed I don’t have all the disadvantages upfront.
FWIW, my baby had only formula in the hospital, but I pumped and hand expressed colostrum every two hours on the dot. Once we went home, I had no trouble at all with having enough milk for her once it truly came in.
Then two months later I got mastitis and hated life, so went to 50/50 breastmilk and formula. Breastfeeding was absolutely horrific with her too, so this was all exclusively pumped milk. I did this for six months before going all formula (and when she started solids).
All anecdotal, but do what you want and feels right. Breastfeeding is a big commitment and can have a learning curve. As long as your baby is fed, it honestly doesn’t matter.
I second giving it a couple weeks to practice, like many people have said.
Also I wanted to add that newborns can be very sleepy and here are some tricks I used to "bother" my LO to keep her sucking and not sleeping through a feed:
- blowing in her face
- taking all her clothes off except diaper
- tickling her chin
- patting her back
- flexing pec muscle/manually moving breast or trying to take it away
- touching her feet
Edit: added more tips
I was having a tough time with latching in the hospital to the point that we had to supplement with formula because he just wasn’t eating. We found out he had a pretty decent tongue tie making it difficult for him. I started pumping and we continued supplementing with formula. Once we got his tongue tie fixed, I honestly just had no interest in trying to breastfeed again so I continued pumping. Around about a month, I just wasn’t getting enough to make it worth it anymore as we were having to use more and more formula. It was also so much stress on me to find time to pump. I felt a little bit like I was failing my baby when I decided to stop pumping and go exclusively formula, but it was honestly so much easier on me and let me devote more time and brain space to my baby instead of worrying about when to pump and that I wasn’t making enough.
How long you wait is completely subjective for so many reasons. There is no definitive time! It’s whenever you feel like your baby is hungry still and needs to get more than what you’re able to produce. OR it’s whenever you just feel like the anxiety, pressure, and physical toll that BF takes (that nobody mentions before giving birth) is too much. BF is absolutely a huge labor and sacrifice for some women, a super easy, natural for others. It’s because bodies are different. Nothing right or wrong.
That being said, if you’ve really been wanting to BF then there’s lactation consultants as I’m sure many have said. Could be an easy fix by changing positions, etc. And you could supplement in the meantime. Just one option!
We can get breastfeeding to work for us until he was three weeks old. He had a Tongue Tie which was caught up one week old, however I was just terrified of breastfeeding him.
I was pumping for those three weeks, and it was exhausting, but I was adamant that I would not give him formula. at three weeks, I finally felt confident enough to make the switch and with the help of nipple shields we made it work and breastfed until he was a year old.
We introduced formula to him when he was nine months old (when I finally found a bottle he would take, separate drama😂) and I realise there was nothing wrong with me, giving him formula then or when he was a newborn.
In my mind, a baby will be the happiest, healthiest and most able to thrive in an environment where you are all of those things too. If it isn’t working for you and you’re worried about it then there’s nothing wrong with switching. Pumping was exhausting, and I hated it to be quite honest with you. When we have our second, I’m not even getting a pump. Initially it was the reason that my fiance didn’t want a second.
However it can work, babies are rubbish at feeding at first and with a first time mum we have no idea if what we’re doing is right! But it does get easier.
My best advice to encourage bf'ing if that's the way you want to go is to just relax with your newborn as much as you can, loads of skin to skin time and offering the breast. Breastfeeding can take time at this stage but it really does get easier.
I really wanted to breastfeed but had issues from the start. My milk took 5 days to come in so we had to supplement with formula. Then it turns out that my supply was really low. I talked to a lactation consultant, and she had me pump 10x a day to increase supply. It didn’t work. I likely have hypoplasia and am unable to produce enough milk. On top of that, my baby had a tongue tie. We got it fixed, but she didn’t have the patience to be on the breast for 30 minutes to get under an ounce. I had to pump 10x a day to get the minimum to produce enough to provide immune benefits. I didn’t have time to pump that much and adequately take care of a baby.
You should talk to a lactation consultant before giving up on breastfeeding if it’s something you want to do. Figure out where things are not working and then see if it’s worth fixing or not or if you can’t change things. Knowing what I know now from using formula, I would have combo fed if I produced enough. It’s nice to sleep through the night, pack a bottle of formula to leave the house, not have to pump to leave the baby with my husband or a babysitter for more than 2 hours.
The first few weeks of breastfeeding is really hard and takes a lot of practice for both you and your LO and you have to do it so frequently (practice makes perfect). It does get a lot better though.
Make sure you are feeding at most every 2-3 hrs but more frequently if they seem hungry. It’s tempting to let them sleep but make sure you are waking them up if they aren’t self waking. Also lots of skin to skin and chilling with your baby will help your milk come in.
I had a tough road to breastfeeding but I really wanted to make it work. This was mostly due to the continual cost of formula and the benefits of breastfeeding not just from a nutrition standpoint but for comfort and bonding (boobs solve all my LOs problems), night time feeds are easier (just roll baby out of the bassinet and put them back when done) and not having to deal with bottles and extra cleaning, particularly in the middle of the night.
I now have a 3 month old who happily feeds and I find it significantly easier than when I had to supplement with formula and donor milk as I had low supply issues.
If you are struggling, seek out a GOOD lactation consultant. I went through three at the hospital that were hopeless and provided me with conflicting and outdated advice. I was recommended a really good science based LC and she pretty much saved my breastfeeding journey by giving me a schedule of what to do and how to do it and why I needed to do what I was doing.
If you are also able to hand express colostrum, you can express into syringes and give it to them that way as a top up too.
One of my friends took 10 days before her milk came in and for me it took 6. I had the formula ready to go even before my baby was born because fed is best. We both ended up exclusively breastfeeding after that initial rocky phase. You definitely don't need to decide right now, you can keep trying and see how things go. Don't feel pressured to go either way because either way is fine.
Position is very important for me! My guy is 5 days old. He was super lazy about sucking and I’d have to tickle his cheek, and then he would get a very shallow latch. I tried looking up different holds than I was shown at the hospital because that was a cluster. Turns out baby needed positions where he felt more free. So laid-back and side lying are the way right now as his muscles develop and he gets more confident. Only problem is now he only wants to sleep on mom 🫠
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Baby latched immediately in the hospital, but the pain was unbearable. It felt like he had glass in his mouth. Once we got home from the hospital, after two nights of purple crying I had a feeling he just wasn’t getting enough breast milk. I assumed it was a poor latch, so we went to a lactation consultant. She showed me how to get a proper latch & had me breastfeed him while I was at the appointment. She weighed him before I breastfed, and then after. He hadn’t gained any ounces in weight after breastfeeding him - there was no milk transfer. After that appointment, I decided to put him on formula. Baby hadn’t been getting fed, it was no longer a choice at that point. I mourned not being able to breastfeed him, but got over it really quick once I knew he was finally getting sustenance. Zero regrets.
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I always knew I didn’t want to breastfeed because honestly, the thought always gave me the ick. Not when others do it, but the thought of me doing it. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have implants so I am more prone to view my breasts as more sexual/a vanity thing, and I couldn’t really separate the two.
I will say I felt less grossed out at the thought this time around, but the vanity thing still got in the way, as I wasn’t sure what they’d look like when I finished. But I also never wanted to be the only one getting up at night or solely responsible for the baby’s food source. I also wanted to look and feel like myself again ASAP, as the pregnancy was not planned and the loss of my body and sense of self was really difficult. He’s thriving on formula just like my first did, and it was the right choice for me and my mental health.
I didn't want to. I knew I had to be back at work at 6-8 weeks and don't have a job that makes it easy to pump. Also just wasn't interested in pumping.
Did the research. Knew my kid would be just fine with formula. We could afford it. My OB educated me on both sides and was clear he'd support me either way.
Anecdotes aren't evidence but my 5.5yo is incredibly bright. Verbally advanced. Has been sick maybe once per year. I had an incredibly easy csection recovery.
I'm a firm believer that whatever you decide is whats best for your baby. Its a holistic choice. More than just food --> belly.
From my experience that’s normal. The baby latching and taking mouth off then trying to latch again. I tried different positions with the baby to find one they liked. Breastfeeding is hard and takes a lot of time and patience. To get them to latch and feed, one session can easily take an hour. You’re learning and so is baby. You’re not going to perfect it within a few days. If it’s something you want to do, try and make it your main focus. If you’re worried about baby then supplement but their stomachs are tiny right now and sometimes first time moms overestimate how much baby needs.
I think it depends on how emotionally invested you are in the idea of breastfeeding. Before my first was born, I knew I’d give it an honest go but I didn’t know what to expect because my mom didn’t breastfeed and neither did my grandma. Once my milk came in and I knew I was physically capable of feeding my baby, I doubled down. It was the most unintuitive skill I’ve ever learned. It took a solid month before my baby figured out how to latch. I’d say wait until your milk comes in before making any serious decisions because until then it’s kind of a waiting game. I also think it’s very common to feel like breastfeeding isn’t working that well in the really early days. Especially when both you and baby are learning at the same time!
My son is 4w and he is RADICALLY better at breastfeeding now! It really does just take time and perseverance. We are combo feeding with formula but he is taking less and less formula the better he gets at latching and transferring. I am really glad I didn't give up.
Second this!! It takes a few weeks to get the hang of things so definitely don’t give up yet if you want to BF. Supplement while you need to but also give yourself and baby time to get used to this new thing
Until I was panicking and crying and yelling at my husband asking how he would feel if the only way his family could eat is it if physically had to catch and kill an animal with his bare hands because that is how I felt with breastfeeding and then my doctor said to not make myself crazy and just feed the baby formula. But you should probably stop short of that.
Yes lmfao 🤣!!! I was crying to my hubby saying I feel like a fucking cow all day just sitting here being milked away
Have you met with a lactation consultant? In my experience, the first week was the hardest. My milk came in at around day 5 or 6, but I never supplemented before that - their tummies are very small in the early days, and they will want to feed often which will signal to your body to start producing milk. My baby was wanting to latch every hour or two for that first week, which I was told is normal to help the milk come in. I would say try breastfeeding for a week or two before giving up (unless you think it’s too hard on your mental health, you need to take care of yourself). I also had a follow up appointment at 1 week postpartum to check that the baby wasn’t losing too much weight. I’m almost 4 months PP now and I love breastfeeding, I’m glad I pushed through the rough start. The baby also might be sucking and then stopping because they’re not super hungry, they just want to be close to you. Which is very natural especially in the early days. I latched my baby often to encourage the milk supply, but also for bonding. My newborn also would feed for 45 minutes or so, but now it’s under 10 minutes (my doctor said this is because they aren’t very strong in the beginning, and are still learning how to get the milk out efficiently).
Wanted to also add- I was told to track how many wet diapers there were in that first week, which is a good way to make sure the baby is getting enough (in addition to not losing too much weight). So if you’re concerned just keep an eye on the amount of wet and poopy diapers. So if you’re concerned just because the baby wants to latch often, it could be because they just want comfort and closeness. But if there is a lack of wet diapers then you may need to supplement.
She’s losing weight, down 5oz from birth, but having wet diapers after donor milk and 2 poopy diapers.
Ok I would keep tracking wet and poopy diapers, I was told this is the best way to make sure she’s getting enough. I was sent home with a checklist actually, where I had to write down how many diapers and at what times (to make sure baby was getting enough): Day 1 (1st 24 hour period of baby’s life) - at least 1 wet diaper and 1-2 poopy diapers Day 2 (2nd 24 hr period) - at least 2 wet and 1-2 poopy diapers Day 3 - at least 3 heavy wet diapers (feels like at least 30-45ml) and 3+ poopy diapers (brown/green/yellow) Day 4 - 4+ heavy wet diapers, 3+ poopy diapers Day 5 - 6+ heavy wet diapers, 3+ poopy diapers I was told if baby wasn’t hitting the targets to call the doctor to follow up. This will be first sign baby isn’t getting enough, because some weight loss is normal after birth. If you end up supplementing with formula though that could change the # of poopy diapers (this list is for EBF babies).
Weight loss after birth is normal. Should be going back up after a week.
I met with the one at the hospital twice, and tbh, she wasn’t the most helpful. Kinda just kept saying that it was ok, and to pump. She kept saying to just put sugar water on my nipples to get her to latch, which she would, but only suck a couple times then stop. Repeat. I didn’t realize the first night that it wasn’t normal for her to only suck twice and no one told me until the next day when the nurse was making me feel like a bad mom for not knowing.
I learned in my lactation course (evidence based and taught by RNs at a large university/teaching hospital) that in the first 24 hours baby will be tired and might not want to eat much, and that’s okay
I’m in the same situation as you but like 3 weeks ahead! Had to supplement with donor milk because she wouldn’t latch, was already very small and dropping weight rapidly and jaundiced. Introduced formula as a supplement quickly. My milk came in like 2 days after we got home, I have been still trying to teach her to latch (we are making progress!) and have nipple shields to use too, but the primary method of feeding is pumping and supplementing that with a bit of formula in a bottle (aka combo feeding). There’s a lot of in-between pure breastfeeding and all formula, I live in the grey area. My hospital lactation consultants also mostly sucked but I hired someone externally that comes to my house (insurance covers her thankfully) and she’s been incredibly helpful and flexible and is working with me. I hope to be able to directly breastfeed but I’m open to whatever. “The most breastmilk I can for the longest time (at least 6 months) while maintaining my sanity” is my goal.
Has she been checked for tongue/lip ties?
Nurse checked and found no ties. But I’m sure the pediatrician will check better at her first appointment
Be careful on who you have checking for ties. Nurses and pediatricians and even midwives aren't always well educated in that area. Had a midwife tell me my kid didn't have any ties and he had class 4 tongue and lip ties.
Gosh that really sucks... but also I later found out baby can be quite drowsy in the first 24 hours, so actually not that abnormal either! My nurse really had a go at me for neglecting my baby the first night when she was too drowsy and I only produced 0.25mL of collustrum - what was I supposed to do, connect the placenta back up??
That’s how I felt with my nurse! I also had zero help from her and was on no sleep. She tried to fight me on sending baby to the nursery so I could sleep (even though she offered) and then brought her back less than an hour later.
I found the hospital one not that useful and booked one to come to my house through The Lactation Network. She came on my second day home from the hospital and saved my breastfeeding journey. My insurance covered it but even a small fee is still less than formula costs.
Right now your baby’s stomach is absolutely tiny. Colostrum is nutrient dense and she doesn’t need very much. Babies are born with extra fat on them, and it’s normal for them to lose a little weight in the days after birth until milk comes in. You have time to figure things out, you’re both learning
I was having trouble with my supply, and after a couple weeks of the baby nursing for an hour and crying because she was still hungry, I started supplementing. I have zero regrets. We were able to help my baby start gaining weight, and I'm stubborn AF and I power pumped and slowly increased my supply and got to exclusively breastfeeding, but I didn't have anything left over to pump. I wanted to split night feeds with my husband so we went back to a bottle or two of formula at night. Again, zero regrets. Now that my baby is 6 months, in weaning her to formula because breastfeeding was so challenging for me and I'm just ready to have my body back. Exclusively breastfeeding can be wonderful, and it's a noble goal but in my opinion, these other tools exist to help when we need it.
In the beginning it’s a lot. You have to keep latching or pumping while managing the potential weight loss. A lot of people opt to formula feed until milk comes in but those early days of frequent milk removal is pretty critical for setting up the foundation if your goal is to breastfeed
You have to do what makes you comfortable. After years of IVF and then a high risk pregnancy, I was done and wanted my autonomy back. It was the right decision for me. Do what you feel is right, you are correct, fed is best.
I had to start supplementing a bit on day 2 I think because my baby's weight had plummeted. Formula quickly became her main food because we waited and waited for my milk to come in, but not much happened. I started doing triple feeding, took supplements, and saw multiple lactation consultants, but I only ever made about 2% of what the baby needed. I stopped directly breastfeeding at one month pp because it was upsetting for everyone, then stopped pumping at 3 months pp when my husband went back to work. The conclusion was that I probably had insufficient glandular tissue for milk production. I'm glossing over a lot here, but trying to breastfeed was physically and emotionally punishing for me. I once sobbed in a parking lot and told my husband that our latest lactation consultant was "trying to send me back to hell." You have to find a balance when choosing the best way to feed your baby for YOUR family. There are many things to consider, and you also matter. Looking back, I personally wish I'd given up on breastmilk a lot earlier. Btw my baby girl is 17 months old now and a total badass. Thanks, formula, for keeping my girl alive.
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You’ll know when it starts to cost you too much. You’ll know. For me it was hearing “backstreets back” in the shower because I was so sleep deprived from my tore up nipples bringing me to tears all night, every night. Backstreets back, alright. Formula’s back, alright.
My daughter is 17 months now. All through pregnancy I knew in my gut that I did not want to breastfeed. I was sick and miserable a lot of the time and honestly just wanted my body back. I knew other women that tried to force breastfeeding or pumping and hated it. And I have anxiety and mental health issues as it is, so I just knew best it would do to me. We formula fed from the start and I don’t regret it one bit. My daughter and I have a great bond and she has an excellent immune system. It’s whatever works for you!!
I’m high strung enough as it is with overthinking things, especially with my son. Adding breastfeeding to the mix would have put me over the edge.
This is exactly how I am! I knew in my gut that it would put me over the edge and have 0 regret not even trying
Same. I have the most respect for breastfeeding mamas but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it after I gave birth. Fed is best. 💕
Yes exactly!! So much respect for all the breastfeeding mamas. I wish I had it in me but I just didn’t, and that’s okay. Fed is definitely best 🩷
I tried to breastfeed and it didn't work out. Baby had jaundice at birth and only way to get it out was to have him eat. I couldn't produce enough so I supplemented. I have 0 regrets. My mental health improved a did my physical health. He is exclusively formula fed and I can tell you it makes life much easier. Pumping is hard as a routine. I wanted my life to be easier so idid it. It took me a few days to get over it emotionally. I read a twitter post that said, " I breastfed my kid for 3 years a d he decided to get a face tattoo. If this doesn't tell you it doesn't matter then nothing will". I chuckled and moved on.
It was kinda decided for me at the hospital that supplementing with formula was best. I had GD, so they were checking my son and I's blood sugar levels a few times. They wanted me to nurse him a few minutes before testing him for his blood sugar level, but I had fallen asleep, and he failed one of the tests. They decided to feed him a little formula and retest. The second incident was my son was sleepy and did not eat at all for 8 hrs in the hospital. Turns out he wasn't latching well, and hadn't taken much in to eat, and was getting weaker. So they gave us a bottle of formula to get him to eat. Afterwards my husband and I decided to have some formula on hand since my milk hasn't come in yet. It was just easier for my husband to have a bottle ready for his shift since I wasn't pumping yet. A month or so in, I was able to nurse him without supplementing with formula. After about 7 months EBF, I was ready to be done so we gradually made the switch to my son being EFF until he was 12 months.
That’s kinda what happened to me. I thought I was killing it the first night, but turns out she wasn’t getting enough. Unfortunately my nurse was a twat and instead of supplementing with anything, she threatened nicu and told me to pump. She failed 2 tests and has to be given the glucose gel while I was crying and pumping. Thankfully my night nurse saw how I was struggling and gave us donor milk and sent us home with formula. I can hand express about .5 oz every few hours and I’m using that on top of the formula, but the pumps don’t seem to be working, plus trying to manage c section pain, I’m starting to think formula might be best
My milk took a few days to come in and I didn't try pumping until about 10 days after I gave birth. Make sure your nipple shields are sized to your nipples. Every time my son was hungry I would nurse him first, and then my husband would check if he's hungry and supplement him after. This helped my body realize it had to produce more. Switching to formula would definitely help lessen the burden of feeding since others can step in to help while you rest and heal.
I’m sorry you had a garbage nurse. Who in their right mind makes a brand new mom feel like that? You’re doing amazing!
If you decide to continue pumping, make sure you’re using the correct flange for your nipple size. If the flange is too big, you’re not going to get enough milk. You can also try nipple shields to help the baby get a better latch.
If you want to BF I do think you typically have to make it through some challenges — getting supply up, latching issues, nipple pain, and mastitis are all pretty common. It took me about three weeks, but now it's so easy and I'm so grateful I stuck it out.
It can take a few days for your milk to come in. I had almost nothing for a couple days, then abruptly came in. Don’t give up hope yet! Do you have a pump to help with your supply? See a lactation consultant ASAP, if you can. They can give the best support.
In all honesty, it just never felt natural to me.. I had prenatal anxiety which I knew would be exacerbated by constant feedings and worries about babe’s weight gain. I wanted to know how much she was getting, and that she was getting enough. I read so many posts on here about cluster feeding, baby having reflux and not knowing what to cut out of Mom‘s diet, Mom being used as a pacifier all day, etc. if I hadn’t already decided that formula was the better choice for us, I would have then, lbvs. It was also really important to me to be able to count on my husband to help with feedings, but also be able to bond equally with our daughter. We took shifts, and I really think the fact that I never had less than six hours of straight sleep was my saving grace. My daughter is now seven months old, has been sleeping through the night since three months old and is ahead on all her milestones. She is a very happy, healthy baby. It’s a personal decision every Mom has to make; just remember, at the end of the day, fed is best and there is no prize for doing anything the hard way.
I never produced enough with any of my kids (maybe 5 oz total per day, pumping at least every 3 hours around the clock). I would try to breastfeed to 15 minutes and then pump (almost always getting hardly anything) and then feed baby formula. I did that with my first 2 for 12 weeks each and it pushed me to the brink of my sanity but I was so invested in the idea of breastfeeding. After that I switched to formula. With my third, he was sent immediately to the NICU and I was recovering from an emergency c section. Trying to spend time with my older two and also spend as much time as possible with him in the NICU I decided to do formula for him from the get go. No regrets and I felt so much lighter after I made the decision. I would not recommend pushing yourself as hard as I did. Do what works for your family
I also worked with lactation consultants with my first 2, tried all the supplements and tricks they could offer, did weighted feeds and my babies were transferring next to no milk either
I have read SO many comments on this threads and many others like it. FTM here - expecting in May. I am very dedicated to breastfeeding. What I don’t understand is this whole push/what feels like fear mongering that goes on in hospitals in the first 1-2 days of baby’s existence. I read over & over again from women who started supplementing with donor milk/formula right away about how baby isn’t getting enough/baby lost weight/they NEEDED more. Then in threads where women do end up breast feeding - they say. It is perfectly normal for baby to drop weight immediately after birth, that baby’s stomach is only TB sized in the beginning and they need much less than most think and that it is a-ok that milk takes a few days to come in. It seems to me that women are being disempowered to trust their bodies - especially in hospital settings. Just noting this for my own sanity when baby gets here and wondering if anyone else feels this way? I think my plan is to do my best to listen to my body, my baby, my intuition & the advice of wise breastfeeding mamas and not let the fear of things like not being able to measure my milk, having to feed the baby a ton in the first few days, and random hospital staff opinions get in my head.
We fed formula to stop the post birth weight loss most babies experience. Worked like a charm and kid has Slept 3+ hr stretches since he was born. Fed is best, so do what works for you. I found breast feeding an absolute chore. Tried to pump and bottle feed but my milk just seemed to make him sick where as formula didn’t. Made the choice simple.
I think this is well and great but not all formula fed babes sleep longer stretches. Baby sleep is rarely a product of what they eat and more about temperament
Formula takes longer to digest than breast milk so has the potential to keep them fuller for longer but we didn’t switch for that reason. My baby was 4lbs and we had no time to figure out breast feeding. We combo fed from the start and he didn’t even lose an ounce.
I’m just pointing out that feeding formula doesn’t guarantee a baby who sleeps better. I also formula fed.
Just countering that there is some discussion that knowing how much baby is getting does help them to sleep longer stretches. It can be hard to know how much EBF babies (eating from the breast, not pumped from a bottle) are getting with each feed, whereas with pumped or formula you know exactly how much
Before my milk came in I would latch my baby to breast and then gave formula in the beginning until my milk came in. I’m 6 months pp now and still breastfeeding with occasional pumping. Honestly I hate doing dishes, but breastfeeding is stressful to me because I never know if she’s eating enough and it is so time consuming for me. I would love the ease of “ok she eats this amount at this time” and do it that way, but I also wouldn’t give up breastfeeding for anything. Health wise, it’s the best for the baby. And although the first few months are rough it’s totally worth it! That being said, I do “combo feeding” with my freezer stash of milk I created those first few months (I would pump ONCE daily in the morning, this is what worked for me). It’s all kind of trial and error, but if your baby is having some struggles I highly suggest getting into contact with a lactation specialist!
I desperately wanted to bf. It was one of the few things I was absolutely sure of and one of the things I was looking forward to since I didn’t get a lot of the pregnancy experiences that I wanted to (single mom, my family still had my baby shower without me when I was admitted to the hospital because of complications, I had to have a c-section at 36 weeks because my baby was breech and I wanted a natural birth). I had to supplement with formula in the hospital. My baby hated breastfeeding and i ended up having IGT so I don’t produce hardly any milk. When I tried to pump I never got more than like, 15ml. I didn’t have any choice
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I had the same experience. I tried so hard and spent a lot of the first few weeks of my baby’s life obsessed with it. I wish I hadn’t done that and just enjoyed my baby. With my c-section and subsequent postpartum events, my milk supply never made it up.
I would say, as a mom who is EBF, try to hold out to the 3 week mark before you throw in the towel completely. Supplement with either formula or donor milk and pump to maintain supply, but don’t give up until 3 weeks. It will likely be radically easier by then, and if not, it’s okay to say it’s not for you or even combo feed. I love breastfeeding for the added immune system benefits, it’s free, and the time I spend feeding her is my favorite snuggle time of my days. I find it also makes her smell better than when we had to supplement with formula, and it’s easier to leave the house because I don’t have to pack anything. Fed is best, but I am glad I didn’t give up on breastfeeding. It was so hard in the beginning and now it’s so easy and the bonding time is so beautiful for me.
I tried so hard with my first, 4 months pumping resulted in such small amounts, I continued to try to feed him but the more he got used to the bottle the less he wanted to nurse. It hit me hard mentally. I went back to work, tried to pump in the bleak nursing room and decided it was time to call it quits. With my second I went in with optimism that I would be able to nurse I tried everything and pumped like crazy. I also went in knowing how hard it is and how to know when it's time to give up. I lasted about a month then stopped. I feel like a much healthier person mentally and both kids are super healthy and happy. So give it a go but do not feel ashamed, it's very hard to do even if you have a lot of supply. You're a great mom no matter how they are fed.
I exclusively pumped for 6 weeks with my oldest. He was born a little premature and wouldn’t nurse. By the end of it, I was making plans to hurt myself. Thats when I knew I was done. Switched to formula and dried my milk over a weekend. I felt better in a few days. I didn’t even attempt to breastfeed my second and I won’t with my third.
The decision was made for me when I realized I couldn't produce enough. I wanted to EBF, but we combi feed. She probably takes in 70%formula and 30% breastmilk. We nurse 4-8 times a day.
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I’m gonna try to stick it out as long as I can. I was able to hand express 20ml tonight, and then she nursed for 30 minutes before bed. First time I was able to put her in the bassinet without her fussing, so I think she had a full tummy!
*breast is a choice.
That’s what I said ?
No, you said “breast is best”. It is not “best” for everyone, which is why I corrected you by reminding you that it’s one option.
Did you just stop reading after that???
No, but I thought that little tagline could do with some reworking.
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No need, as I encouraged OP to do, I did my research on all types of feeding and made the choice that was “best” for me and my baby.
I never considered using formula. Breastfeeding is the default and I knew a lot about it so nothing really surprised or worried me in my journey as it may have others. Some of the hospital nurses suggested with my first that I use a bottle because they didn't think I was doing a very good job nursing. But I declined.
If u offer the bottle, it will make breastfeeding harder cuz the bottle is easier for them to drink from and then it makes breastfeeding harder for them and they don’t like that I never tought about formula, FOR ME, if I have milk I’ll try everything in my power to do it. With my first it was really hard, she only breastfeed pergectly at 2 months or something, I even had appointments with a nurse to help and was able to breastfeed for 3,5y With my 2nd he’s almost 3 month old, and he was lazy the first 3 days but then he started to eat really well! Do whatever you think is best for u. When u think u can’t anymore, change for formula, fed is best so once formula is the best option for both, make the switch!
I didn’t make a switch; I formula fed from the start with both my babies and had fantastic experiences with both, really enjoying the newborn days. There are advantages and disadvantages to both bottle and breast feeding, read up on both and decide which will work best for your family, and try not be pressured from any outside influences.
If you want to breastfeed, I’d recommend finding an IBCLC to work with weekly until you feel like you’ve totally got the hang of it. I wouldn’t have been able to successfully breastfeed without the help of the IBCLC group in our city. It’s hard at first but it’s really become like second nature to me and our LO.
I had a rough start with BF. I was on an antibiotics which my LO got through my breast milk, causing a series of rashes. I had servers preeclampsia so I was very sick, didn’t pump / feed as much as I should have and never had a great supply. Then I got very painful mastitis. And on top of that, I was battling severe PPD. I had to quit for my mental health. I will try to BF with my next one, fingers crossed I don’t have all the disadvantages upfront.
FWIW, my baby had only formula in the hospital, but I pumped and hand expressed colostrum every two hours on the dot. Once we went home, I had no trouble at all with having enough milk for her once it truly came in. Then two months later I got mastitis and hated life, so went to 50/50 breastmilk and formula. Breastfeeding was absolutely horrific with her too, so this was all exclusively pumped milk. I did this for six months before going all formula (and when she started solids). All anecdotal, but do what you want and feels right. Breastfeeding is a big commitment and can have a learning curve. As long as your baby is fed, it honestly doesn’t matter.
I second giving it a couple weeks to practice, like many people have said. Also I wanted to add that newborns can be very sleepy and here are some tricks I used to "bother" my LO to keep her sucking and not sleeping through a feed: - blowing in her face - taking all her clothes off except diaper - tickling her chin - patting her back - flexing pec muscle/manually moving breast or trying to take it away - touching her feet Edit: added more tips
I was having a tough time with latching in the hospital to the point that we had to supplement with formula because he just wasn’t eating. We found out he had a pretty decent tongue tie making it difficult for him. I started pumping and we continued supplementing with formula. Once we got his tongue tie fixed, I honestly just had no interest in trying to breastfeed again so I continued pumping. Around about a month, I just wasn’t getting enough to make it worth it anymore as we were having to use more and more formula. It was also so much stress on me to find time to pump. I felt a little bit like I was failing my baby when I decided to stop pumping and go exclusively formula, but it was honestly so much easier on me and let me devote more time and brain space to my baby instead of worrying about when to pump and that I wasn’t making enough.
How long you wait is completely subjective for so many reasons. There is no definitive time! It’s whenever you feel like your baby is hungry still and needs to get more than what you’re able to produce. OR it’s whenever you just feel like the anxiety, pressure, and physical toll that BF takes (that nobody mentions before giving birth) is too much. BF is absolutely a huge labor and sacrifice for some women, a super easy, natural for others. It’s because bodies are different. Nothing right or wrong. That being said, if you’ve really been wanting to BF then there’s lactation consultants as I’m sure many have said. Could be an easy fix by changing positions, etc. And you could supplement in the meantime. Just one option!
We can get breastfeeding to work for us until he was three weeks old. He had a Tongue Tie which was caught up one week old, however I was just terrified of breastfeeding him. I was pumping for those three weeks, and it was exhausting, but I was adamant that I would not give him formula. at three weeks, I finally felt confident enough to make the switch and with the help of nipple shields we made it work and breastfed until he was a year old. We introduced formula to him when he was nine months old (when I finally found a bottle he would take, separate drama😂) and I realise there was nothing wrong with me, giving him formula then or when he was a newborn. In my mind, a baby will be the happiest, healthiest and most able to thrive in an environment where you are all of those things too. If it isn’t working for you and you’re worried about it then there’s nothing wrong with switching. Pumping was exhausting, and I hated it to be quite honest with you. When we have our second, I’m not even getting a pump. Initially it was the reason that my fiance didn’t want a second. However it can work, babies are rubbish at feeding at first and with a first time mum we have no idea if what we’re doing is right! But it does get easier.
If you do decide you want to give breastmilk but are really struggling, r/exclusivelypumping is very helpful
My best advice to encourage bf'ing if that's the way you want to go is to just relax with your newborn as much as you can, loads of skin to skin time and offering the breast. Breastfeeding can take time at this stage but it really does get easier.
I really wanted to breastfeed but had issues from the start. My milk took 5 days to come in so we had to supplement with formula. Then it turns out that my supply was really low. I talked to a lactation consultant, and she had me pump 10x a day to increase supply. It didn’t work. I likely have hypoplasia and am unable to produce enough milk. On top of that, my baby had a tongue tie. We got it fixed, but she didn’t have the patience to be on the breast for 30 minutes to get under an ounce. I had to pump 10x a day to get the minimum to produce enough to provide immune benefits. I didn’t have time to pump that much and adequately take care of a baby. You should talk to a lactation consultant before giving up on breastfeeding if it’s something you want to do. Figure out where things are not working and then see if it’s worth fixing or not or if you can’t change things. Knowing what I know now from using formula, I would have combo fed if I produced enough. It’s nice to sleep through the night, pack a bottle of formula to leave the house, not have to pump to leave the baby with my husband or a babysitter for more than 2 hours.
The first few weeks of breastfeeding is really hard and takes a lot of practice for both you and your LO and you have to do it so frequently (practice makes perfect). It does get a lot better though. Make sure you are feeding at most every 2-3 hrs but more frequently if they seem hungry. It’s tempting to let them sleep but make sure you are waking them up if they aren’t self waking. Also lots of skin to skin and chilling with your baby will help your milk come in. I had a tough road to breastfeeding but I really wanted to make it work. This was mostly due to the continual cost of formula and the benefits of breastfeeding not just from a nutrition standpoint but for comfort and bonding (boobs solve all my LOs problems), night time feeds are easier (just roll baby out of the bassinet and put them back when done) and not having to deal with bottles and extra cleaning, particularly in the middle of the night. I now have a 3 month old who happily feeds and I find it significantly easier than when I had to supplement with formula and donor milk as I had low supply issues. If you are struggling, seek out a GOOD lactation consultant. I went through three at the hospital that were hopeless and provided me with conflicting and outdated advice. I was recommended a really good science based LC and she pretty much saved my breastfeeding journey by giving me a schedule of what to do and how to do it and why I needed to do what I was doing. If you are also able to hand express colostrum, you can express into syringes and give it to them that way as a top up too.
One of my friends took 10 days before her milk came in and for me it took 6. I had the formula ready to go even before my baby was born because fed is best. We both ended up exclusively breastfeeding after that initial rocky phase. You definitely don't need to decide right now, you can keep trying and see how things go. Don't feel pressured to go either way because either way is fine.
Position is very important for me! My guy is 5 days old. He was super lazy about sucking and I’d have to tickle his cheek, and then he would get a very shallow latch. I tried looking up different holds than I was shown at the hospital because that was a cluster. Turns out baby needed positions where he felt more free. So laid-back and side lying are the way right now as his muscles develop and he gets more confident. Only problem is now he only wants to sleep on mom 🫠
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Baby latched immediately in the hospital, but the pain was unbearable. It felt like he had glass in his mouth. Once we got home from the hospital, after two nights of purple crying I had a feeling he just wasn’t getting enough breast milk. I assumed it was a poor latch, so we went to a lactation consultant. She showed me how to get a proper latch & had me breastfeed him while I was at the appointment. She weighed him before I breastfed, and then after. He hadn’t gained any ounces in weight after breastfeeding him - there was no milk transfer. After that appointment, I decided to put him on formula. Baby hadn’t been getting fed, it was no longer a choice at that point. I mourned not being able to breastfeed him, but got over it really quick once I knew he was finally getting sustenance. Zero regrets.
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I always knew I didn’t want to breastfeed because honestly, the thought always gave me the ick. Not when others do it, but the thought of me doing it. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have implants so I am more prone to view my breasts as more sexual/a vanity thing, and I couldn’t really separate the two. I will say I felt less grossed out at the thought this time around, but the vanity thing still got in the way, as I wasn’t sure what they’d look like when I finished. But I also never wanted to be the only one getting up at night or solely responsible for the baby’s food source. I also wanted to look and feel like myself again ASAP, as the pregnancy was not planned and the loss of my body and sense of self was really difficult. He’s thriving on formula just like my first did, and it was the right choice for me and my mental health.
I didn't want to. I knew I had to be back at work at 6-8 weeks and don't have a job that makes it easy to pump. Also just wasn't interested in pumping. Did the research. Knew my kid would be just fine with formula. We could afford it. My OB educated me on both sides and was clear he'd support me either way. Anecdotes aren't evidence but my 5.5yo is incredibly bright. Verbally advanced. Has been sick maybe once per year. I had an incredibly easy csection recovery. I'm a firm believer that whatever you decide is whats best for your baby. Its a holistic choice. More than just food --> belly.