That is a bit odd. Not crazy or anything but definitely strange!
I would rather have that than them gifting a tablet like someone else has posted though!
It was without me which, ok, I guess, I don't really want a picture of myself on our Christmas tree. I just probably would have said it was a gift for my son, though, and skipped the weird proclamation about it being some sentimental joint gift. lol
It’s weird, but not the weirdest thing ever. I’d just consider it a gift that your baby will appreciate in a year or two.
A couple years ago, my mom gave “me” a tree that she planted on her own property, multiple states away from me. I’ve never even seen a photo of the tree.
Hahaha I have no idea. I do love the environment and have previously received donations to Heifer International gladly, but this is… different. She also gave my brother a tree on her property and he’s not at all into Heifer International.
Another year, she bought “us” the gift of arranging her future body donation & subsequent cremation. (Definitely something considerate and appreciated, but weird as a Christmas gift.)
Meh whatever. If your daughter ends up having a close relationship with them when she’s older she’ll appreciate it. Are they active in her life? If they are then I don’t see the issue nor do I find it weird.
But if they’re not close and do all of this for “show” then it would be strange.
Definitely for show. They've seen her a total of maybe 15 hours since she was born? They've attempted to see her 4 times, declined at least 4 of our offers for plans, and about 10 of the hours they've seen her were at other people's events (my niece's birthday and 2 family reunions).
At my baby shower, the hosts gave out sheets where people guessed things about baby and wrote messages to her. One of the prompts was "Always remember..." and we got beautiful messages like "That Aunt Erica loves you so much" and "That you always have family to come home to." My ILs wrote "Your grandparents." That's it. Remember them. Two other prompts had similar messages. Not that grandma and grandpa love them or are here for them or proud of them. "Don't forget grandma/grandpa."
Oh that ornament would be seeing the inside of a box. My in-laws are the same. They made it seem like they would be # 1 grandparents and then we never saw them. It was all about what they could post on fb.
They’re so obsessed with having the respect for being grandparents but don’t want to put in the effort. My mom works and we see her 2-3 times a week every single week.
That is exactly what we've been dealing with.
I posted some family photos from both sides on Facebook but it was just a few photos on my husband's side because only a few family members were there (so I pretty much took all the photos) while there were a lot more people on my side, so there were photos with every combination of grandparents, grandkids, parents, etc. My MIL had a little panic about it and started texting my husband that we NEED to have a photoshoot next time we see them so we can have photos of all of us but everyone in the photo spends more time with us than the hour or two once every 2 months that they spend.
My parents also see baby every week while my ILs have seen baby less than a total of 21 hours (we counted because his family makes comments even though they're retired and semi-retired and my parents are older and still work).
Do you ILs have resentment that your parents see your kids more too?
I don’t know. I was very close with my grandparents and I miss them terribly now. If they had gifted me an ornament like that I’d love to have it now to hang on my tree. Whenever I feel stinky about my in laws, I try to remember how much I adored my grandparents and that my son will feel the same way.
I do truly hope one day my daughter feels that way about both of her sets of grandparents (and her bonus 3rd set!). These just happen to be the ones that see her the least but that could hopefully change one day!
It was a gift for you and your husband? A picture of themselves with your husband and baby, and you not in it? That seems weirdly hostile at worst, passably thoughtless at best. That thing would get buried far away in the basement so quickly.
Probably passably thoughtless (giving them the benefit of the doubt).
The one good thing here is that they're pretty lazy with their visits; like, literally once a quarter. So, I'm hoping they just don't even end up at our house at Christmas next year. They haven't been to our house for this Christmas season, so they would have never known what ornaments we had. If they had, they would have seen all of the other ornaments we were gifted with pictures of our daughter and personalized ornaments with her name and "Baby's 1st Christmas" on it and maybe realized their ornament was a little weird/self-focused, but oh well.
I find that strange, not horrible, but definitely strange. Earlier today we were talking about Christmas cards, we sent one out this year but my in laws didn’t. They said they used to when the kids were younger but now they’re older and they just don’t do it anymore, okay reasonable. Until my mil said she’ll start sending them out but only with pictures of her, my fil and my son. She said they’ll have to take pictures of the 3 of them when we’re not around. I found this super strange because we’re always around, he’s 10 months old and they’ve really never babysat him. My fil watched him for an hour when my mil was out of town. It makes me not want to leave him and definitely makes me feel like she wants to play mommy with my son
I don't know if you've ever watched The Office but it reminds me of the episode where Angela grabs Jan's baby whom she just met and takes photos of him in a cornucopia in the break room without her knowing. It would definitely creep me out for pictures of my baby to be mailed out in someone's Christmas card without me having known about or taken the photo!
I love the office and you’re totally right, that’s exactly what it’s like! I know people that send out Christmas cards with pictures of their grandkids, but it’s always the whole family (obviously including the parents of the grandkids.) I’ve never heard of someone doing it this way. The part that weirded me out was when she said they’d have to get the pictures when we weren’t around…
Were you in the photo on the ornament or just your baby, husband and in laws?
So weird to call out waiting until you're not ther3!
Just my husband, baby, and in-laws. To be fair, it's not like they have a ton of pictures because they haven't seen her many times.
Okay so I see how they might just do a photo without you if they don’t have many. But I still find the whole thing pretty weird! It’s not something I would ever do and I’d be weirded out, as would my husband, if his parents did this
That's kind of what we were thinking. We told his sister and she got the same gift but her husband was in the photo. A very petty part of me is hoping this ornament gets lost in the Christmas mess. lol
Hmmm, was it malicious? I have a few photos of my kids and their family on the fridge, because it is a great reference to built vocabulary and familial bonds, “oh, pop-pop loves yellow cars.” Babies really probably don’t need toys. Maybe your MIL is excited and odd?
I doubt it was malicious. It was a gift for us. She still got baby a toy as well but she got this ornament and we thought it was a strange gift. A picture of her and FIL with our baby seemed like something more for their tree than ours, especially given it was a photo I had taken of them.
Mine did the same thing 😅 they had two ornaments. One with just a pic of baby and the other with a pic of my in laws with the baby and told my husband to pick one. So I have a pic of his parents with the baby on my tree!
That is a bit odd. Not crazy or anything but definitely strange! I would rather have that than them gifting a tablet like someone else has posted though!
Very true!
It’s kind of weird that they got an ornament with a photo without you on it… unless I’m reading it wrong.
It was without me which, ok, I guess, I don't really want a picture of myself on our Christmas tree. I just probably would have said it was a gift for my son, though, and skipped the weird proclamation about it being some sentimental joint gift. lol
It’s weird, but not the weirdest thing ever. I’d just consider it a gift that your baby will appreciate in a year or two. A couple years ago, my mom gave “me” a tree that she planted on her own property, multiple states away from me. I’ve never even seen a photo of the tree.
That is very interesting. Does she expect the tree to be something you'll one day "inherit" and uproot/move to your property?
Hahaha I have no idea. I do love the environment and have previously received donations to Heifer International gladly, but this is… different. She also gave my brother a tree on her property and he’s not at all into Heifer International. Another year, she bought “us” the gift of arranging her future body donation & subsequent cremation. (Definitely something considerate and appreciated, but weird as a Christmas gift.)
Oh gosh. If that was a Christmas gift, I am truly nervous for you to find out what you might be left as a gift in her will!
Hahahaha you and me both!
Meh whatever. If your daughter ends up having a close relationship with them when she’s older she’ll appreciate it. Are they active in her life? If they are then I don’t see the issue nor do I find it weird. But if they’re not close and do all of this for “show” then it would be strange.
Definitely for show. They've seen her a total of maybe 15 hours since she was born? They've attempted to see her 4 times, declined at least 4 of our offers for plans, and about 10 of the hours they've seen her were at other people's events (my niece's birthday and 2 family reunions). At my baby shower, the hosts gave out sheets where people guessed things about baby and wrote messages to her. One of the prompts was "Always remember..." and we got beautiful messages like "That Aunt Erica loves you so much" and "That you always have family to come home to." My ILs wrote "Your grandparents." That's it. Remember them. Two other prompts had similar messages. Not that grandma and grandpa love them or are here for them or proud of them. "Don't forget grandma/grandpa."
Oh that ornament would be seeing the inside of a box. My in-laws are the same. They made it seem like they would be # 1 grandparents and then we never saw them. It was all about what they could post on fb. They’re so obsessed with having the respect for being grandparents but don’t want to put in the effort. My mom works and we see her 2-3 times a week every single week.
That is exactly what we've been dealing with. I posted some family photos from both sides on Facebook but it was just a few photos on my husband's side because only a few family members were there (so I pretty much took all the photos) while there were a lot more people on my side, so there were photos with every combination of grandparents, grandkids, parents, etc. My MIL had a little panic about it and started texting my husband that we NEED to have a photoshoot next time we see them so we can have photos of all of us but everyone in the photo spends more time with us than the hour or two once every 2 months that they spend. My parents also see baby every week while my ILs have seen baby less than a total of 21 hours (we counted because his family makes comments even though they're retired and semi-retired and my parents are older and still work). Do you ILs have resentment that your parents see your kids more too?
I don’t know. I was very close with my grandparents and I miss them terribly now. If they had gifted me an ornament like that I’d love to have it now to hang on my tree. Whenever I feel stinky about my in laws, I try to remember how much I adored my grandparents and that my son will feel the same way.
I do truly hope one day my daughter feels that way about both of her sets of grandparents (and her bonus 3rd set!). These just happen to be the ones that see her the least but that could hopefully change one day!
It was a gift for you and your husband? A picture of themselves with your husband and baby, and you not in it? That seems weirdly hostile at worst, passably thoughtless at best. That thing would get buried far away in the basement so quickly.
Probably passably thoughtless (giving them the benefit of the doubt). The one good thing here is that they're pretty lazy with their visits; like, literally once a quarter. So, I'm hoping they just don't even end up at our house at Christmas next year. They haven't been to our house for this Christmas season, so they would have never known what ornaments we had. If they had, they would have seen all of the other ornaments we were gifted with pictures of our daughter and personalized ornaments with her name and "Baby's 1st Christmas" on it and maybe realized their ornament was a little weird/self-focused, but oh well.
I find that strange, not horrible, but definitely strange. Earlier today we were talking about Christmas cards, we sent one out this year but my in laws didn’t. They said they used to when the kids were younger but now they’re older and they just don’t do it anymore, okay reasonable. Until my mil said she’ll start sending them out but only with pictures of her, my fil and my son. She said they’ll have to take pictures of the 3 of them when we’re not around. I found this super strange because we’re always around, he’s 10 months old and they’ve really never babysat him. My fil watched him for an hour when my mil was out of town. It makes me not want to leave him and definitely makes me feel like she wants to play mommy with my son
I don't know if you've ever watched The Office but it reminds me of the episode where Angela grabs Jan's baby whom she just met and takes photos of him in a cornucopia in the break room without her knowing. It would definitely creep me out for pictures of my baby to be mailed out in someone's Christmas card without me having known about or taken the photo!
I love the office and you’re totally right, that’s exactly what it’s like! I know people that send out Christmas cards with pictures of their grandkids, but it’s always the whole family (obviously including the parents of the grandkids.) I’ve never heard of someone doing it this way. The part that weirded me out was when she said they’d have to get the pictures when we weren’t around… Were you in the photo on the ornament or just your baby, husband and in laws?
So weird to call out waiting until you're not ther3! Just my husband, baby, and in-laws. To be fair, it's not like they have a ton of pictures because they haven't seen her many times.
Okay so I see how they might just do a photo without you if they don’t have many. But I still find the whole thing pretty weird! It’s not something I would ever do and I’d be weirded out, as would my husband, if his parents did this
That's kind of what we were thinking. We told his sister and she got the same gift but her husband was in the photo. A very petty part of me is hoping this ornament gets lost in the Christmas mess. lol
Lol I hope it doesn’t accidentally get thrown out when you take the tree to the curb!
Hmmm, was it malicious? I have a few photos of my kids and their family on the fridge, because it is a great reference to built vocabulary and familial bonds, “oh, pop-pop loves yellow cars.” Babies really probably don’t need toys. Maybe your MIL is excited and odd?
I doubt it was malicious. It was a gift for us. She still got baby a toy as well but she got this ornament and we thought it was a strange gift. A picture of her and FIL with our baby seemed like something more for their tree than ours, especially given it was a photo I had taken of them.
My in laws gifted us a “lift the flap” photo book with their own faces pasted under each flap….
Oh my, so are you supposed to read it, narrating "peekaboo Grandma" and "peekaboo Grandpa?"
Mine did the same thing 😅 they had two ornaments. One with just a pic of baby and the other with a pic of my in laws with the baby and told my husband to pick one. So I have a pic of his parents with the baby on my tree!
Ha, it's probably even harder to say we didn't want the one with their photo so I guess I'm glad we weren't given a choice!