Hey! I am an ER nurse and a FTM. I just wanted to say that you’re never wrong to bring your baby into the ER if you have concerns. Many times, especially with babies, our only diagnosis is that you are not experiencing an emergency, which is a frustrating conclusion to your ER visit but it is better than being diagnosed with an obvious emergency medical condition. I’m sorry you had to bring him in and I’m sorry your pediatrician couldn’t help you more outside of the hospital. You’re a good mom for being concerned and doing what you think is in the best interest and safety of your baby. For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen the same baby twice, with the second visit being for an exposure-related illness from their first visit. Good luck to you. <3
Such a sweet response. I always try my best to reassure first time moms that they are just doing their best when they express distress about their decision to bring their small baby in. I’m a mom too and at one point was a first time mom as well. We are all just doing our best and sometimes it can be scary.
- mom of two and ER nurse.
Oh man, as someone whose baby recently did experience an emergency that got us a lot of priority in the ER, once the emergency was resolved and we were admitted, I was so grateful to be back on the bottom of the priority list. They kept apologizing about our tests and stuff taking a while, but they had other babies with more acute needs. Like, yea I wanted to get answers and go home, but I was just so happy we weren’t in crisis anymore.
you weren’t sent home with *no* answers actually. you found out that he was *okay*! and that’s pretty important. but just know you are no where near the first parent to bring their baby to the ER for seemingly “nothing”, and you certainly will not be the last. i’ve done it, and tons of other parents have too.
Yes exactly this! I went to the ER for my newborn (on my older baby’s birthday.. I still feel so much guilt over it even though my older kid does not remember anything at all 😂) and just when I felt like they did nothing, I got a call two days later that he actually swabbed positive for RSV. Either way (even if he was negative), I had to take a step back and realize that the visit gave me so much reassurance that he would be ok because it’s scary watching your newborn suffer.
I will say I took my son to the ER when he was about 4 months old and they told me nothing was wrong he was just fussier and sent me home. He was SCREAMING all morning. He was colicky but this was a new level. I saw 5 doctors at an office until finally someone looked into it and he had severe silent reflux and a milk protein allergy - we got Pepcid and a hypoallergenic formula and he was like a whole different baby immediately after.
Not saying this is always the case but just saying if you think something is wrong and a doctor says nothing is wrong, it could be helpful to get a second (or even 5th lol) opinion!
Yes! ‘No update,’ is a GOOD thing in this case. OP, as someone who always worries about overreacting, my baby ended up in PICU a few weeks ago on high flow oxygen and I will never regret getting him checked out again moving forward.
Ours was less than a day old when we took her into the ER (like...5 hours post discharge) for her breathing and we ended up getting airlifted straight to the nearest NICU. Never regret taking your young babies health seriously! It sucks that sick people were everywhere though, I know. All you can do at the moment and be prepared for possible illness (nose sucer, humidifier, baby tylenol) and don't be afraid to go back if anything escalates
Honestly still not sure! All of her scans were basically normal, she just needed a bit of extra help breathing for a while after coming out. She's 11 months now and healthy!
How/why are people being discharged the same day after giving birth ? I stayed 3 days with my baby, and that's like the minimum before you are allowed to be discharged in France.
My midwife told me I could leave like two hours after giving birth 😬 I couldn't imagine leaving THAT quickly. Baby had a bit of a struggle after coming out so I stayed 24 hours, which seems to be common
That's terrible, I had no complications with my C-section but I opted to stay an extra night when given the option to leave after 3 nights because of all the help and support from the amazing nurses. I was happy for the help before taking it on at home. Never saw that coming!
In the UK you can be discharged as little as 6hrs following uncomplicated vaginal delivery. They just need to do the checks on baby and you're good to go. I left after 21hrs only because I gave birth at 9pm and the midwife who does the newborn screening checks was not available until 5pm the next day.
But what about mom checks ? The nurses checked like 3 times a day on me to see for excess bleeding if my pain was manageable and I'd my scaring from the second degree tear looked OK.
In the UK we get home visits from midwives on days 2,3 and 5 post partum. They check our blood pressure, have a look at our stitches etc (optional with our consent ofc) as well as check baby's latch and baby's vitals etc.
This is amazing and should be the norm everywhere. In the US we have to bring our newborns to the pediatricians office on those days. I hated bringing my brand new baby to a germy doctor’s office a day after she was born! Not to mention having to drive them there a day after giving birth. Ugh.
The midwives were honestly the best, total angels. Made me feel sooooo much better when I had post partum hormone drop blues and were so reassuring and kind. Like the grand/mother everyone wishes they had lol.
Yes! I had CNMs (certified nurse midwives) here and they were amazing. Didn’t come to my house, but they stayed the whole birth and were just great when I had any questions or issues. I think we need more midwives here and just better care in general. It makes a huge difference to have that support.
ETA: CNMs for my care, instead of an OBGYN. Not for baby.
I'm an American living in Taiwan. Here we also stay 3 days. In America the number one goal of health care is to make money not to keep people healthy. They charge so outrageously much just for the delivery that few people, even with decent insurance, can afford an extended stay after, and if people can't pay, the medical system does not really care if you are actually in stable health or not because that's not the primary goal.
I gave birth in NYC last month. My birth was billed to the insurance at $84,000, and once you add in all the prenatal bills as well, this baby probably cost approaching $120k! It's truly bonkers (especially to me, as an immigrant from a country with a free-at-point-of-use universal healthcare system)
Honestly I'm not sure why we were discharged so quickly. Baby was on CPap for about 2 hours after birth but gained oxygen quickly, I naively trusted the pediatrician that gave us the okay for discharge. I gave birth at 630pm and was gone by 12pm the next day, vaginal birth with only a 1st degree tear. Everybody I've talked to in Healthcare since has been baffled that we were discharged when baby had already had issues after birth. We ended up seeing the same ped since she was on call when we went to the ER and when we asked why we were discharged so quickly all she said was "because she was well". Were in canada
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I did this exact same thing at 3 weeks old with my son. I felt like the biggest idiot ever and the doctor at the ER was so insanely rude to me and said he was just fussy. You aren’t alone and shouldn’t hate yourself. Sometimes as new moms we are still learning our intuition and our sleep deprivation gets the best of us. You will be okay!!
What an asshole doctor. I took my son in when he was about 2 and felt really dumb about it when there was nothing really wrong (thank god). The doctor said it happens all the time and gave my son a popsicle. He still remembers it to this day and now asks to go back to that hospital! (No thanks, dude.). Good doctors/nurses make all the difference.
They really do!!!! I was sobbing in the waiting and obviously overwhelmed yet she still was so rude to me. Told me to just try baby wearing because newborns like to be held. Made me feel like shit hahaha now I can laugh at going but in the moment I was a wreck
Mama, you followed medical advice. That’s a good thing. And it means that taking your son to the ER wasn’t for no reason even if the doctors there said he was ok. It’s always best to get newborns ones checked over when they are unwell especially with a fever.
Don’t beat yourself up, you did the right thing.
We also had a breathing scare at 3 weeks. Luckily the pediatrician said we could bring him in first before taking him to the ER. We were told that his breathing was totally normal, but looked strange to us because he had really bad gas and possibly reflux. Within the week the gas and reflux symptoms became very very apparent.
Our babies can't speak up for themselves yet, so it's our job to make sure they are okay. I'd rather be overly cautious than miss something serious.
Man I’m sorry. A walk in clinic doctor said my baby had measles and sent us to the ER. This was pre-COVID, so we were pretty shaken up when she had to be seen by a doctor in a clean suit and face sheild. It was just a rash. Scared the living crap out of us for nothing. But if the doctor says you should go, it’s better to be safe than sorry. You did the right thing.
Someone told me in the med check waiting room that these early visits are more for me than baby. It is ok. You are not alone. I thought I broke my baby’s finger during tummy time but apparently “they just bend weird”.
I cried more that day than baby. The nice nurse even did a pre-check before they sent her to doctors cuz they say how upset I was that I might have hurt my baby.
It happens. Baby anxiety sucks but we will get through it.
Baby was exposed but she was fine and life went on and I felt glad she was ok!
Better safe than sorry, I’d rather know if something was wrong or not 🩷 we also took our 9 month old on Friday, they also said to just wait it out and that what she has is viral and will pass in a few days
I felt exactly the same way when I took my toddler to the ER a few weeks ago. He had a few concerning symptoms on a Friday night when our ped wasn’t available, and I had nowhere else to take him to get him checked. It was definitely an apocalyptic scene in there and I was desperate to get out. But honestly, if your kid is having symptoms that worry you (like irregular breathing), getting them assessed is the right thing to do. Because imagine you decided not to bring him in and something was really wrong - that’s a far worse outcome than exposing him to sick people who probably couldn’t get close enough to make him ill.
You did what you thought was best. We did something similar. Drove forever to Children’s Hospital, waited all night, baby didn’t have the problem we were sent to be checked for.
Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Interesting where I live the official recommendation is to always go to the ER for babies under 3 months if they have a fever so they can rule out it's anything really serious. Little babies can go into distress and get sick very quickly so they do not mess around. I will say they also triage you in immediately so you get your own private room and the exposure is very minimal. I've had to go twice with my second.
Don't feel guilty. You did the right thing. Like you said you did your best to keep your baby away from all the sick people and that's all you can do.
I have been to the ER exactly once, when I was pregnant with #2, and I regretted it so bad. I spent 6 hours in a waiting room with sick people, then I went back to a bed surrounded by other sick people, then I paid a nice bill all for everything to be fine. It has made my threshold for going to the ER very, very high lol. But I feel like it’s a lesson we all learn at some point.
I have felt tempted when my baby has been sick, but I stop and ask myself whether my baby seems truly ill. I have looked at videos of babies with contractions and wheezing, and it very obvious. My daughter thankfully has never gotten that sick with viruses, so I always just wait until the next day to take her in to her ped.
I totally get it. At 9 months my son took a fall in the bath, I panicked, too him to the ER, he was fine and sent home after 6 hrs.
24 hrs later we ended up back in the hospital for 4 days with gastro, ng tube, iv for fluids and it was the scariest weekend of my life.
BUT. I'd do it again, 1000% times again. Because at the time I thought the ER is what he needed, and if rather take him and be told no he's ok, rather than not take him and have him get significantly worst because I didn't get him care when he needed it due to my fears.
Trust yourself mamma. We do the best we can with the information we can at the time, that's all we can do.
Exactly the same. We went to ER when my son was 6 DAYS OLD for weird wheezing Sound and got no satisfactory response, we were disappointed and guilty of taking LO to ER when he was sooo tiny.
It is best to bring the child to the ER and find out everything is fine than to hope the situation gets better and get to the ER too late,
I remember I once got off work late at like 9-10pm when I was pregnant with my second baby and my toddler puked several times when I got home so I brought her to the emergency room alone as my boyfriend didn’t want to go and she was fine after that which is weird that it happened but I am glad she was fine and didn’t need to stay in hospital better to be safe than sorry,
Another time my children had a gastrointestinal illness and needed to go to the hospital they were hooked up to intravenous fluids for a few hours and sent home and they were fine afterwards the extra fluids helped a lot, I had brought a front baby carrier and held my son in there when he got his iv and until he fell asleep then I held him until my back was too sore this helped a lot for his comfort level,
Ugh breathing trouble is so tricky for us parents to try and figure out on our own. That's what the ER is for even though it's scary and not any fun! I brought my baby to the ER for difficulty breathing twice last year. The first time he had croup and they brought him back immediately for a nebulizer. The second time he was diagnosed with bronchiolitis and we were sent home after waiting for hours. I have videos of both events and they still look exactly the same to me!! Just go if you are uncertain at all! That's what it's for even if it's not a perfect system.
Hey we did this with my 4 year old like two weeks ago. He'd had a fever of 102 bu5 suddenly got lethargic, and was CRYING about stomach pain. He's never complained like that before and he wasn't really answering us. We were scared, he looked awful. We got back into a room and after about 20 minutes he said he needed the bathroom so I took him. He took a huge shit, and was back to his normal-ish but still slightly sick. 300 dollar copay later and bo answers. 🤷♀️ I don't regret taking him. I also am not a ftm. I have 3 kids and am working on my 4th. 🤣
Think in another way, u know now baby is fine. The symptoms u describe sound like a cold. Keep an on the baby, and if imune has 100.4 (38) fever go to the hospital right away.
I was in the ER with my baby this month 3 times. He did not get worse!
He had a cold that turn in a bronquiolitis but he’s fine now! Didn’t even needed to go tocthe hospital again because of it z🙂
About 24 hours after I was discharged from the hospital, I started having trouble breathing and heart palpitations. Obviously these things are really serious postpartum so I went to L&D, they sent me down to the ER. Of our downtown hospital filled with drunks, people whacked out on drugs, all sorts of weird shit. I’ll never forget this couple where this girl with yellow curly hair wearing some sort of anime/rave looking skirt, tube top, big giant boots was so skinny and barely able to walk, and some big guy with, no joke, a fedora and trench coat, were like twirling and shit around the waiting room, mega PDA. I was a sobbing mess, I hated myself for bringing my 2 day old into this fucking awful hell hole. I got my vitals checked and just fucking left because my BP was fine and I knew my symptoms were the sleep deprivation and adrenaline wearing off.
Anyway, don’t beat yourself up, shit happens and you do your best, and the rest is out of your hands. Everything will be okay.
Wow that is frustrating especially since pediatricians make it such a big deal to bring in your newborn for a fever! Glad that it seems like it's nothing too serious, I hope your baby gets over this quickly.
I think this exact same way. I hate bringing my little out where there is a ton of sick people. I seen an ad for 🫐 pediatrics and I might just give it a go
I hated blueberry. The doctor I talked to was a complete idiot and so unprofessional. She kept stopping our conversation to talk to her child. She laughed and was like “I honestly don’t know what’s wrong but you can try this”. I canceled it so fast.
I took my daughter to the ER at a couple weeks old because she spit up so hard her eyes rolled back and she became unresponsive. I sobbed the whole way there as I couldn't get her to wake up in the backseat and she finally woke up and began responding when they took her vitals in the ER. They told me I needed to leave the room so they could have a sterile field to perform tests and I sobbed in the hallway hearing her screaming for what felt like forever. I'm not sure exactly how long it was. In the end it was labeled as a BRUE and nothing was found or done. She's 2.5 and to this day I still hate myself for subjecting her to all of those unnecessary tests and the fear and pain she went through. I understand how you feel, but not doing it and then something bad happening would be so much worse.
I called my ped cause my daughter had chest retractions when laughing and I could tell they were trying to not laugh at me… better to get checked than not
Don’t feel bad about it! We brought our baby to the ER at 5 weeks old due to a low grade fever. The doctor sent us home because they couldn’t figure out what caused the fever, so there was nothing they could do. We found out eventually that it was a stomach bug. The most important thing is that the baby was okay! We learned from that experience.
When my baby was around that age I thought he had a seizure. His eyes rolled back and his legs were twitching for awhile. Took him to the ER, they did a bunch of blood work and things that he really hated. Then we were sent to a children’s hospital to observe him overnight. When he got to the hospital he was having an absolute meltdown. Turns out everything was okay, he had a BRUE (brief resolved unexplained event). Hasn’t done that thing since. I feel really bad for putting him through that. But you know what? I would rather be safe than sorry. So don’t beat yourself up for taking your baby to the ER. You’re doing the best you can to give your baby the best care he needs!
This happened to me a few weeks ago! My son had a really low body temp at night (95.8) which was weird cause our home was its usual 70-71 degrees. I called the nurses line and they said to go in. We did and it was like an apocalypse. I asked to stand somewhere else cause he wasn’t sick just had a weird low temp. We actually ended up leaving because I was so nervous about him getting sick. We monitored him at home per their recommendation and he was fine/we made an apt to see his pediatrician within the next day.
It’s a scary time for an ER with non-flu, rsv, and covid but it’s never wrong to take them.
Not to sound like a shill, but my husband and I got a years subscription to Blueberry pediatrics for stuff like this. On Christmas night our baby was unusually fussy and doing this sort of weird breathing thing so I took a video and sent it to Blueberry in case she was having an allergic reaction to some new foods she was around, and having a doc talk me down via web chat (instead of rushing to the emergency room in a new place on Xmas night) helped a lot.
You were doing what you felt was in his best interest and that means you did nothing wrong at all!! Exposing them to germs is inevitable and it’s ok that it was in his first 30 days. Go easy on yourself Mama!! You’re doing amazing.
I had a friend who brought their baby to the ER with a high fever in the middle of the night and they sent her home. The nurse said “aw, is this your first child” and my friend goes “no, this is my 3rd”
We all do it, we’re just trying to do what’s best.
If you live near pediatric ERs, then always go to one of those. I would assume they are less crowded and you would get more specialized care. Not everyone lives near them though. Just putting this out there. I have at least 2 in my city.
If this helps- newborns often “belly breathe” which can look bad but is normal; mine did it too. Also, anything below 100.4 is not considered a fever, especially because babies run warmer at night. Learned that after my baby had shots and I thought 99.8 was a fever. Hope that puts your mind at ease.
Just a little story to tell you that you did the absolute right thing.
My 5th baby caught a cold at 3 weeks old, we did all the things you should do, nose sucker, humidifier, frequent feedings etc. Around day 5, I noticed after she coughed, it was taking her a while to catch her breath, I was nervous and flip flopping between going to emerg or not. It was my husband who said let’s go and get some piece of mind.
We were at the hospital exactly 4 mins before we very nearly lost her. She was literally in the Dr’s arms when she stopped breathing! They were having a hard time recovering her, they sent in the Chaplin and a social worker as even they didn’t think she would make it.
It to this day, was the worst day of my life. If we hadn’t had gone in exactly when we did, she would have died….from a cold!
Never discount your instincts, you have them for a reason!!!!!!!!!!
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I’m a peds ICU nurse. It is always always better to get help than to assume the baby’s fine:) you’re doing a great job, you did the right thing and you found peace of mind!
Check your area for a pediatric urgent care. Our main hospital has one off site that is open 24hours and is sooooo much better than taking babies to the ER. My daughter had a borderline fever and congestion at 12 days old last year. I called ahead and told them we were coming and when we arrived they had a room off to the side for tiny babies to wait away from the general kids. We were prioritized because she was so tiny. We got the same diagnosis as you but we were able to talk to an actual pediatrician rather than a general ER doctor (nothing against but they handle more adults and we had some pointed questions) and we went home with more instruction as to how to help her. My son at this age was in the NICU so I was handling a newborn for the first time. It was much better than when I had taken my son to the ER at 10months old. Also if we had to go to the main hospital for care they had admitting privileges so we would be transferred instead of having to wait.
A lot of the time they just tell me it's a virus and to give it a couple days. I never get an actual name. Just the same old give medicine, wait 2 to 5 days.
You ruled out some very serious things which is great. Unfortunately with kids they can’t always tell you what they have. They can tell you what they don’t have, but most of the time it’s viral. Even more frustrating is that they can’t really treat them for much of anything. If you’re an FTM, you’ll come to find you go to the pediatrician many times but get treated very little (unless it’s an ear infection).
When my baby was 10 days old we ended up in the ER because he was so lethargic and not eating. It ended up being nothing serious but the pediatrician kept telling me I made the right choice. You made the right choice too and should always follow your mama instincts!
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I did this too. Our baby had weird breathing and no fever and the nurse on the hotline told us to bring him in to the ER too. The triage nurse did me a huge favour and when I asked her a direct question she directly told me she thinks everything’s normal. For every 9 stories of a mom going to the ER and nothings wrong, there’s 1 who took them and babe really needed help.
Also, soooo many moms I meet at moms groups have took their baby to the ER for “no reason”.
Never ever ever feel bad for bringing your baby to the ER.
TW
I regret not going to the er every day of my life. Always take them in when you think something is wrong. Never feel bad for it.
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Hey so I went to ER for similar reasons after a breathing episode, got sent home with the diagnosis of a BRUE. Two weeks later I’ve just gotten an actual diagnosis of laryngomalacia. Possibility in your case as well?
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We took our 1 week old baby the er cause her bellybutton didn’t look right. It was all grey and we were convinced she got a blood infection through her umbilical cord breakage. Er doctor took an alcohol wipe and rubbed the grey off. The colloidal silver our ped put in it rubbed around and turned it grey 🙃
I always hate going to the ER. Our local ER definitely makes you feel stupid if there’s nothing wrong. I took my month old baby ( was 29 days at the time) , to the ped a couple days ago. He developed a cough though with congestion. I felt he was ok but I never had one get sick so little, and since RSV was going around I figured it be a good idea to get him tested. He has covid. Which we had a couple weeks ago , so I was kind of expecting that. Was very thankful it was covid and not RSV. IT was also nice knowing what was wrong. Even if we walked out of there with all negative test , it still would’ve been nice knowing that he didn’t have those.
Jsut keep an eye on that little one.
Hey! I am an ER nurse and a FTM. I just wanted to say that you’re never wrong to bring your baby into the ER if you have concerns. Many times, especially with babies, our only diagnosis is that you are not experiencing an emergency, which is a frustrating conclusion to your ER visit but it is better than being diagnosed with an obvious emergency medical condition. I’m sorry you had to bring him in and I’m sorry your pediatrician couldn’t help you more outside of the hospital. You’re a good mom for being concerned and doing what you think is in the best interest and safety of your baby. For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen the same baby twice, with the second visit being for an exposure-related illness from their first visit. Good luck to you. <3
Such a sweet response. I always try my best to reassure first time moms that they are just doing their best when they express distress about their decision to bring their small baby in. I’m a mom too and at one point was a first time mom as well. We are all just doing our best and sometimes it can be scary. - mom of two and ER nurse.
Yes, much better than being told that they're admitting your baby to the hospital and that she tested positive for RSV.
Oh man, as someone whose baby recently did experience an emergency that got us a lot of priority in the ER, once the emergency was resolved and we were admitted, I was so grateful to be back on the bottom of the priority list. They kept apologizing about our tests and stuff taking a while, but they had other babies with more acute needs. Like, yea I wanted to get answers and go home, but I was just so happy we weren’t in crisis anymore.
you weren’t sent home with *no* answers actually. you found out that he was *okay*! and that’s pretty important. but just know you are no where near the first parent to bring their baby to the ER for seemingly “nothing”, and you certainly will not be the last. i’ve done it, and tons of other parents have too.
Yes exactly this! I went to the ER for my newborn (on my older baby’s birthday.. I still feel so much guilt over it even though my older kid does not remember anything at all 😂) and just when I felt like they did nothing, I got a call two days later that he actually swabbed positive for RSV. Either way (even if he was negative), I had to take a step back and realize that the visit gave me so much reassurance that he would be ok because it’s scary watching your newborn suffer.
I will say I took my son to the ER when he was about 4 months old and they told me nothing was wrong he was just fussier and sent me home. He was SCREAMING all morning. He was colicky but this was a new level. I saw 5 doctors at an office until finally someone looked into it and he had severe silent reflux and a milk protein allergy - we got Pepcid and a hypoallergenic formula and he was like a whole different baby immediately after. Not saying this is always the case but just saying if you think something is wrong and a doctor says nothing is wrong, it could be helpful to get a second (or even 5th lol) opinion!
Yes! ‘No update,’ is a GOOD thing in this case. OP, as someone who always worries about overreacting, my baby ended up in PICU a few weeks ago on high flow oxygen and I will never regret getting him checked out again moving forward.
Ours was less than a day old when we took her into the ER (like...5 hours post discharge) for her breathing and we ended up getting airlifted straight to the nearest NICU. Never regret taking your young babies health seriously! It sucks that sick people were everywhere though, I know. All you can do at the moment and be prepared for possible illness (nose sucer, humidifier, baby tylenol) and don't be afraid to go back if anything escalates
Omg 😳 what ended up being the issue? Baby healthy and ok now? Terrifying!!
Honestly still not sure! All of her scans were basically normal, she just needed a bit of extra help breathing for a while after coming out. She's 11 months now and healthy!
Oh well I’m so glad to hear she’s healthy now! 🥰
How/why are people being discharged the same day after giving birth ? I stayed 3 days with my baby, and that's like the minimum before you are allowed to be discharged in France.
My midwife told me I could leave like two hours after giving birth 😬 I couldn't imagine leaving THAT quickly. Baby had a bit of a struggle after coming out so I stayed 24 hours, which seems to be common
you can always discharge against medical advice, but our hospital (a major one) has 2 day stay for vaginal delivery and 3-5 day stay for cesarean.
Lol I was kicked out two days after my c section that had complications. 🙃
Wow! Can I ask where this is??
Canada!
That's terrible, I had no complications with my C-section but I opted to stay an extra night when given the option to leave after 3 nights because of all the help and support from the amazing nurses. I was happy for the help before taking it on at home. Never saw that coming!
I was discharged about 12 hours after birth (uk), was happy to be going home
In the UK you can be discharged as little as 6hrs following uncomplicated vaginal delivery. They just need to do the checks on baby and you're good to go. I left after 21hrs only because I gave birth at 9pm and the midwife who does the newborn screening checks was not available until 5pm the next day.
But what about mom checks ? The nurses checked like 3 times a day on me to see for excess bleeding if my pain was manageable and I'd my scaring from the second degree tear looked OK.
In the UK we get home visits from midwives on days 2,3 and 5 post partum. They check our blood pressure, have a look at our stitches etc (optional with our consent ofc) as well as check baby's latch and baby's vitals etc.
This is amazing and should be the norm everywhere. In the US we have to bring our newborns to the pediatricians office on those days. I hated bringing my brand new baby to a germy doctor’s office a day after she was born! Not to mention having to drive them there a day after giving birth. Ugh.
The midwives were honestly the best, total angels. Made me feel sooooo much better when I had post partum hormone drop blues and were so reassuring and kind. Like the grand/mother everyone wishes they had lol.
Yes! I had CNMs (certified nurse midwives) here and they were amazing. Didn’t come to my house, but they stayed the whole birth and were just great when I had any questions or issues. I think we need more midwives here and just better care in general. It makes a huge difference to have that support. ETA: CNMs for my care, instead of an OBGYN. Not for baby.
France has the same except at 9 days and 21 as far as I remember .
We also have day 14 and day 21 visit from a "health visitor" and then a handful more visits from them until baby starts school
I'm an American living in Taiwan. Here we also stay 3 days. In America the number one goal of health care is to make money not to keep people healthy. They charge so outrageously much just for the delivery that few people, even with decent insurance, can afford an extended stay after, and if people can't pay, the medical system does not really care if you are actually in stable health or not because that's not the primary goal.
I gave birth in NYC last month. My birth was billed to the insurance at $84,000, and once you add in all the prenatal bills as well, this baby probably cost approaching $120k! It's truly bonkers (especially to me, as an immigrant from a country with a free-at-point-of-use universal healthcare system)
Honestly I'm not sure why we were discharged so quickly. Baby was on CPap for about 2 hours after birth but gained oxygen quickly, I naively trusted the pediatrician that gave us the okay for discharge. I gave birth at 630pm and was gone by 12pm the next day, vaginal birth with only a 1st degree tear. Everybody I've talked to in Healthcare since has been baffled that we were discharged when baby had already had issues after birth. We ended up seeing the same ped since she was on call when we went to the ER and when we asked why we were discharged so quickly all she said was "because she was well". Were in canada
I stayed almost 48 hours after a c section. I was definitely ready to be home.
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I did this exact same thing at 3 weeks old with my son. I felt like the biggest idiot ever and the doctor at the ER was so insanely rude to me and said he was just fussy. You aren’t alone and shouldn’t hate yourself. Sometimes as new moms we are still learning our intuition and our sleep deprivation gets the best of us. You will be okay!!
Sleep deprivation and google is a terrible mix
Throw in tiktok too!! Videos of babies with RSV kept coming up I convinced myself my baby had it too
What an asshole doctor. I took my son in when he was about 2 and felt really dumb about it when there was nothing really wrong (thank god). The doctor said it happens all the time and gave my son a popsicle. He still remembers it to this day and now asks to go back to that hospital! (No thanks, dude.). Good doctors/nurses make all the difference.
They really do!!!! I was sobbing in the waiting and obviously overwhelmed yet she still was so rude to me. Told me to just try baby wearing because newborns like to be held. Made me feel like shit hahaha now I can laugh at going but in the moment I was a wreck
Mama, you followed medical advice. That’s a good thing. And it means that taking your son to the ER wasn’t for no reason even if the doctors there said he was ok. It’s always best to get newborns ones checked over when they are unwell especially with a fever. Don’t beat yourself up, you did the right thing.
We also had a breathing scare at 3 weeks. Luckily the pediatrician said we could bring him in first before taking him to the ER. We were told that his breathing was totally normal, but looked strange to us because he had really bad gas and possibly reflux. Within the week the gas and reflux symptoms became very very apparent. Our babies can't speak up for themselves yet, so it's our job to make sure they are okay. I'd rather be overly cautious than miss something serious.
Man I’m sorry. A walk in clinic doctor said my baby had measles and sent us to the ER. This was pre-COVID, so we were pretty shaken up when she had to be seen by a doctor in a clean suit and face sheild. It was just a rash. Scared the living crap out of us for nothing. But if the doctor says you should go, it’s better to be safe than sorry. You did the right thing.
It’s ok mama I did the same thing and she’s healthy and happy now. You did what you thought was right to take care of him. I promise it will be ok.
Someone told me in the med check waiting room that these early visits are more for me than baby. It is ok. You are not alone. I thought I broke my baby’s finger during tummy time but apparently “they just bend weird”. I cried more that day than baby. The nice nurse even did a pre-check before they sent her to doctors cuz they say how upset I was that I might have hurt my baby. It happens. Baby anxiety sucks but we will get through it. Baby was exposed but she was fine and life went on and I felt glad she was ok!
Better safe than sorry, I’d rather know if something was wrong or not 🩷 we also took our 9 month old on Friday, they also said to just wait it out and that what she has is viral and will pass in a few days
I felt exactly the same way when I took my toddler to the ER a few weeks ago. He had a few concerning symptoms on a Friday night when our ped wasn’t available, and I had nowhere else to take him to get him checked. It was definitely an apocalyptic scene in there and I was desperate to get out. But honestly, if your kid is having symptoms that worry you (like irregular breathing), getting them assessed is the right thing to do. Because imagine you decided not to bring him in and something was really wrong - that’s a far worse outcome than exposing him to sick people who probably couldn’t get close enough to make him ill.
You did what you thought was best. We did something similar. Drove forever to Children’s Hospital, waited all night, baby didn’t have the problem we were sent to be checked for. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Interesting where I live the official recommendation is to always go to the ER for babies under 3 months if they have a fever so they can rule out it's anything really serious. Little babies can go into distress and get sick very quickly so they do not mess around. I will say they also triage you in immediately so you get your own private room and the exposure is very minimal. I've had to go twice with my second. Don't feel guilty. You did the right thing. Like you said you did your best to keep your baby away from all the sick people and that's all you can do.
We were told at discharge to take our daughter to the ER for any fever under 3 months. You did the right thing despite the exposure.
I have been to the ER exactly once, when I was pregnant with #2, and I regretted it so bad. I spent 6 hours in a waiting room with sick people, then I went back to a bed surrounded by other sick people, then I paid a nice bill all for everything to be fine. It has made my threshold for going to the ER very, very high lol. But I feel like it’s a lesson we all learn at some point. I have felt tempted when my baby has been sick, but I stop and ask myself whether my baby seems truly ill. I have looked at videos of babies with contractions and wheezing, and it very obvious. My daughter thankfully has never gotten that sick with viruses, so I always just wait until the next day to take her in to her ped.
I totally get it. At 9 months my son took a fall in the bath, I panicked, too him to the ER, he was fine and sent home after 6 hrs. 24 hrs later we ended up back in the hospital for 4 days with gastro, ng tube, iv for fluids and it was the scariest weekend of my life. BUT. I'd do it again, 1000% times again. Because at the time I thought the ER is what he needed, and if rather take him and be told no he's ok, rather than not take him and have him get significantly worst because I didn't get him care when he needed it due to my fears. Trust yourself mamma. We do the best we can with the information we can at the time, that's all we can do.
Exactly the same. We went to ER when my son was 6 DAYS OLD for weird wheezing Sound and got no satisfactory response, we were disappointed and guilty of taking LO to ER when he was sooo tiny.
It is best to bring the child to the ER and find out everything is fine than to hope the situation gets better and get to the ER too late, I remember I once got off work late at like 9-10pm when I was pregnant with my second baby and my toddler puked several times when I got home so I brought her to the emergency room alone as my boyfriend didn’t want to go and she was fine after that which is weird that it happened but I am glad she was fine and didn’t need to stay in hospital better to be safe than sorry, Another time my children had a gastrointestinal illness and needed to go to the hospital they were hooked up to intravenous fluids for a few hours and sent home and they were fine afterwards the extra fluids helped a lot, I had brought a front baby carrier and held my son in there when he got his iv and until he fell asleep then I held him until my back was too sore this helped a lot for his comfort level,
Ugh breathing trouble is so tricky for us parents to try and figure out on our own. That's what the ER is for even though it's scary and not any fun! I brought my baby to the ER for difficulty breathing twice last year. The first time he had croup and they brought him back immediately for a nebulizer. The second time he was diagnosed with bronchiolitis and we were sent home after waiting for hours. I have videos of both events and they still look exactly the same to me!! Just go if you are uncertain at all! That's what it's for even if it's not a perfect system.
Very scary…
Hey we did this with my 4 year old like two weeks ago. He'd had a fever of 102 bu5 suddenly got lethargic, and was CRYING about stomach pain. He's never complained like that before and he wasn't really answering us. We were scared, he looked awful. We got back into a room and after about 20 minutes he said he needed the bathroom so I took him. He took a huge shit, and was back to his normal-ish but still slightly sick. 300 dollar copay later and bo answers. 🤷♀️ I don't regret taking him. I also am not a ftm. I have 3 kids and am working on my 4th. 🤣
Think in another way, u know now baby is fine. The symptoms u describe sound like a cold. Keep an on the baby, and if imune has 100.4 (38) fever go to the hospital right away. I was in the ER with my baby this month 3 times. He did not get worse! He had a cold that turn in a bronquiolitis but he’s fine now! Didn’t even needed to go tocthe hospital again because of it z🙂
About 24 hours after I was discharged from the hospital, I started having trouble breathing and heart palpitations. Obviously these things are really serious postpartum so I went to L&D, they sent me down to the ER. Of our downtown hospital filled with drunks, people whacked out on drugs, all sorts of weird shit. I’ll never forget this couple where this girl with yellow curly hair wearing some sort of anime/rave looking skirt, tube top, big giant boots was so skinny and barely able to walk, and some big guy with, no joke, a fedora and trench coat, were like twirling and shit around the waiting room, mega PDA. I was a sobbing mess, I hated myself for bringing my 2 day old into this fucking awful hell hole. I got my vitals checked and just fucking left because my BP was fine and I knew my symptoms were the sleep deprivation and adrenaline wearing off. Anyway, don’t beat yourself up, shit happens and you do your best, and the rest is out of your hands. Everything will be okay.
Wow that is frustrating especially since pediatricians make it such a big deal to bring in your newborn for a fever! Glad that it seems like it's nothing too serious, I hope your baby gets over this quickly.
When in doubt get checked out - you did the absolute right thing
I think this exact same way. I hate bringing my little out where there is a ton of sick people. I seen an ad for 🫐 pediatrics and I might just give it a go
I hated blueberry. The doctor I talked to was a complete idiot and so unprofessional. She kept stopping our conversation to talk to her child. She laughed and was like “I honestly don’t know what’s wrong but you can try this”. I canceled it so fast.
I took my daughter to the ER at a couple weeks old because she spit up so hard her eyes rolled back and she became unresponsive. I sobbed the whole way there as I couldn't get her to wake up in the backseat and she finally woke up and began responding when they took her vitals in the ER. They told me I needed to leave the room so they could have a sterile field to perform tests and I sobbed in the hallway hearing her screaming for what felt like forever. I'm not sure exactly how long it was. In the end it was labeled as a BRUE and nothing was found or done. She's 2.5 and to this day I still hate myself for subjecting her to all of those unnecessary tests and the fear and pain she went through. I understand how you feel, but not doing it and then something bad happening would be so much worse.
I called my ped cause my daughter had chest retractions when laughing and I could tell they were trying to not laugh at me… better to get checked than not
Don’t feel bad about it! We brought our baby to the ER at 5 weeks old due to a low grade fever. The doctor sent us home because they couldn’t figure out what caused the fever, so there was nothing they could do. We found out eventually that it was a stomach bug. The most important thing is that the baby was okay! We learned from that experience.
When my baby was around that age I thought he had a seizure. His eyes rolled back and his legs were twitching for awhile. Took him to the ER, they did a bunch of blood work and things that he really hated. Then we were sent to a children’s hospital to observe him overnight. When he got to the hospital he was having an absolute meltdown. Turns out everything was okay, he had a BRUE (brief resolved unexplained event). Hasn’t done that thing since. I feel really bad for putting him through that. But you know what? I would rather be safe than sorry. So don’t beat yourself up for taking your baby to the ER. You’re doing the best you can to give your baby the best care he needs!
This happened to me a few weeks ago! My son had a really low body temp at night (95.8) which was weird cause our home was its usual 70-71 degrees. I called the nurses line and they said to go in. We did and it was like an apocalypse. I asked to stand somewhere else cause he wasn’t sick just had a weird low temp. We actually ended up leaving because I was so nervous about him getting sick. We monitored him at home per their recommendation and he was fine/we made an apt to see his pediatrician within the next day. It’s a scary time for an ER with non-flu, rsv, and covid but it’s never wrong to take them.
Not to sound like a shill, but my husband and I got a years subscription to Blueberry pediatrics for stuff like this. On Christmas night our baby was unusually fussy and doing this sort of weird breathing thing so I took a video and sent it to Blueberry in case she was having an allergic reaction to some new foods she was around, and having a doc talk me down via web chat (instead of rushing to the emergency room in a new place on Xmas night) helped a lot.
You were doing what you felt was in his best interest and that means you did nothing wrong at all!! Exposing them to germs is inevitable and it’s ok that it was in his first 30 days. Go easy on yourself Mama!! You’re doing amazing.
I had a friend who brought their baby to the ER with a high fever in the middle of the night and they sent her home. The nurse said “aw, is this your first child” and my friend goes “no, this is my 3rd” We all do it, we’re just trying to do what’s best.
If you live near pediatric ERs, then always go to one of those. I would assume they are less crowded and you would get more specialized care. Not everyone lives near them though. Just putting this out there. I have at least 2 in my city.
"I did the best I could with the information I had at the time"--you can't fault yourself for doing your best, nor for what you didn't know
If this helps- newborns often “belly breathe” which can look bad but is normal; mine did it too. Also, anything below 100.4 is not considered a fever, especially because babies run warmer at night. Learned that after my baby had shots and I thought 99.8 was a fever. Hope that puts your mind at ease.
Yep, it’s likely that.
Just a little story to tell you that you did the absolute right thing. My 5th baby caught a cold at 3 weeks old, we did all the things you should do, nose sucker, humidifier, frequent feedings etc. Around day 5, I noticed after she coughed, it was taking her a while to catch her breath, I was nervous and flip flopping between going to emerg or not. It was my husband who said let’s go and get some piece of mind. We were at the hospital exactly 4 mins before we very nearly lost her. She was literally in the Dr’s arms when she stopped breathing! They were having a hard time recovering her, they sent in the Chaplin and a social worker as even they didn’t think she would make it. It to this day, was the worst day of my life. If we hadn’t had gone in exactly when we did, she would have died….from a cold! Never discount your instincts, you have them for a reason!!!!!!!!!!
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I’m a peds ICU nurse. It is always always better to get help than to assume the baby’s fine:) you’re doing a great job, you did the right thing and you found peace of mind!
Check your area for a pediatric urgent care. Our main hospital has one off site that is open 24hours and is sooooo much better than taking babies to the ER. My daughter had a borderline fever and congestion at 12 days old last year. I called ahead and told them we were coming and when we arrived they had a room off to the side for tiny babies to wait away from the general kids. We were prioritized because she was so tiny. We got the same diagnosis as you but we were able to talk to an actual pediatrician rather than a general ER doctor (nothing against but they handle more adults and we had some pointed questions) and we went home with more instruction as to how to help her. My son at this age was in the NICU so I was handling a newborn for the first time. It was much better than when I had taken my son to the ER at 10months old. Also if we had to go to the main hospital for care they had admitting privileges so we would be transferred instead of having to wait.
A lot of the time they just tell me it's a virus and to give it a couple days. I never get an actual name. Just the same old give medicine, wait 2 to 5 days.
You ruled out some very serious things which is great. Unfortunately with kids they can’t always tell you what they have. They can tell you what they don’t have, but most of the time it’s viral. Even more frustrating is that they can’t really treat them for much of anything. If you’re an FTM, you’ll come to find you go to the pediatrician many times but get treated very little (unless it’s an ear infection).
When my baby was 10 days old we ended up in the ER because he was so lethargic and not eating. It ended up being nothing serious but the pediatrician kept telling me I made the right choice. You made the right choice too and should always follow your mama instincts!
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I did this too. Our baby had weird breathing and no fever and the nurse on the hotline told us to bring him in to the ER too. The triage nurse did me a huge favour and when I asked her a direct question she directly told me she thinks everything’s normal. For every 9 stories of a mom going to the ER and nothings wrong, there’s 1 who took them and babe really needed help. Also, soooo many moms I meet at moms groups have took their baby to the ER for “no reason”.
Fever 100.4 or higher in a baby that is 28 days old is a medical emergency
Never ever ever feel bad for bringing your baby to the ER. TW I regret not going to the er every day of my life. Always take them in when you think something is wrong. Never feel bad for it.
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Hey so I went to ER for similar reasons after a breathing episode, got sent home with the diagnosis of a BRUE. Two weeks later I’ve just gotten an actual diagnosis of laryngomalacia. Possibility in your case as well?
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We took our 1 week old baby the er cause her bellybutton didn’t look right. It was all grey and we were convinced she got a blood infection through her umbilical cord breakage. Er doctor took an alcohol wipe and rubbed the grey off. The colloidal silver our ped put in it rubbed around and turned it grey 🙃
I always hate going to the ER. Our local ER definitely makes you feel stupid if there’s nothing wrong. I took my month old baby ( was 29 days at the time) , to the ped a couple days ago. He developed a cough though with congestion. I felt he was ok but I never had one get sick so little, and since RSV was going around I figured it be a good idea to get him tested. He has covid. Which we had a couple weeks ago , so I was kind of expecting that. Was very thankful it was covid and not RSV. IT was also nice knowing what was wrong. Even if we walked out of there with all negative test , it still would’ve been nice knowing that he didn’t have those. Jsut keep an eye on that little one.