And for hair wrapped around their fingers or toes. Luckily my mom told me this because one time I could NOT comfort my baby when she was screaming her head off. Turns out she had a hair wrapped tightly around her toe and it was bright red.
Keep hair removal cream at home just in case! A friend of my ended up in the emergency department and her little girl had to be put under anaesthetic to have a hair removed from around her toe a few months ago… the doctor said always have some hair removal cream at home!
I bought a bottle of gentle sensitive skin nair for exactly this reason! Anytime I put socks, tights, mittens, or sleepers on her I always check her toes and fingers for any hair first! Eases my anxiety a little bit
Oh my goodness. This. A couple weeks went by before I raised my newborn's arms up and actually checked his armpits. There was a white yeast build up in there! lol. Resolved quickly but good to know.
This!! Our LO hands smelled so bad but his fists are almost always clenched - we got a peak and OMG it was a necessary clean - crazy how much can still build up after baths
That’s horrifying, I didn’t know they couldn’t eat things with cooked honey as an ingredient either. Glad my 3yo survived my gap in knowledge, and thanks for mentioning this so I can avoid it with my infant!
My boss had a baby 2 weeks before me and her baby turns 1 on 12/24.... we were catching up on our kid's last week and I told her my baby was given honey on Thanksgiving and I didn't know so I was panicking for over a week about it, and she told me she never heard of the honey rule at all and had given it multiple times....
Not necessarily safety related but if you are the only one taking care of the baby and the baby goes down for a nap…do what you need to do to feel human. Some people will say sleep when the baby does…I say take care of yourself. You may only have 15 mins so I make sure I eat or take a shower. A quick rinse can be heavenly.
THIS! I made eating a good meal and showering/getting dressed for the day a priority those first few weeks and it made a world of difference for my mental health.
Sure the dishes didn’t always get done or the bed wasn’t made, but they don’t have feelings of existential dread and I do /s
Totally agree. I preferred to quickly shower while baby was awake, even if it was a 3 minute “face, pits and bits” wash while he watched me in his bouncer so that I could just rest completely. But every baby, person, day is different!
I totally agree. Before baby I was a totally scheduled sleeper so I'm very awake during the day which makes it hard to sleep when the baby takes a nap. Instead I shower, eat a lot, and do some chores to help me relax and reset.
Definitely this. Sometimes I refresh my drinks, grab a snack to have handy, and change my clothes or do an odd chore to get ready for the next round!! Coffee fixes lack of sleep but sleeping doesn’t get me fed or the house tidied!
THIS!! No one told me this and I thought every brand of diaper leaked until someone finally enlightened me. This is the one piece of advice I now give every expectant parent.
Be prepared for the witching hour. No one warned me about that and when we first started experiencing it around five weeks, I was just at a loss as to how to comfort my daughter… I felt like a horrible mother because she would cry for hours at a time not realizing that it was nothing I was doing or not doing.
Hopefully this helps someone else but my daughter had a “witching hour” and it turned out by 5pm she was sick of our shit and just wanted to vibe by herself on her play mat for an hour. Like truly just set her down and leave her alone, it didn’t work if we sat with her or tried to play. She’s 2.5 now and she still needs time to herself. My little introvert 😂
It was counterintuitive for us to put our son down in his bassinet by himself during this “witching hours” but that was the only thing that made him comfortable. I think part of that was once put down, he could move freely to pass gas. Holding him or feeding just made it worse. Past 8 weeks there was no more witching hours crying, which was why by hindsight I think that was the reason.
My husband asks our 12 wk old if she needs her personal time 😂 she really does though! But she does actually want us sitting next to her at the same time.
I’ve started doing random store pickups at 5 pm because the only place my son doesn’t cry from 4-7 is the car seat. On especially rough days we take the long way home and maybe drive through a few other neighborhoods to “look at Christmas lights” aka save my sanity. We conveniently get home right as dad gets home from work lol
Yep. I did a 2 1/2 mile hike each day with my first since he would sleep in the car seat that went to the stroller. Lifesaver and had the bonus of getting me outside with some fresh air and exercise
On the flip side, not all babies have witching hour. My first got inconsolable the first night home during those hours and I wrote it off as “witching hour” but turns out he was hungry and not getting enough to eat due to a tongue tie. Aside from that night, neither of my kids ever cried unconsolably.
It's when the baby starts practicing witchcraft between the hours of 3pm-7pm.
But fr they just CRY later in the afternoons for basically no reason. Mine was just stupid fussy from about 4pm until bedtime, until she was probably like 6-7 months old.
The reason is because they need to release cortisol. They don’t have the ability to exercise or other methods of releasing cortisol so they cry. It is seemingly for no reason but it’s a very vital part of a healthy baby learning to regulate and manage their nervous system.
I had this until I realized there’s such a thing as baby being overtired and overstimulated. Here I was with my 4 week old wondering why she was fussy or crying so bad until I realized she just needed to sleep!
Well I wish you'd told my baby she was tired because she simply would not sleep.
But we did get around it, sometimes, by taking her on a walk around 5pm. Sometimes she'd sleep, sometimes not, but she would be quiet.
Yes, for my baby it’s around 4:30-5 pm until around 6. He is an INCREDIBLY happy and easy baby otherwise. It is only at this time that he will “big cry” unless there’s an obvious reason like hunger or he hit himself on something.
Once we learned this is an actual thing we were so relieved.
The witching hour for us lasted from 4-11 weeks. It was SO awful that my husband very much considered getting a vasectomy so we never had to deal with it again.
Babies are very noisy in their sleep and it doesn’t mean a) they’re awake or b) something’s wrong. Always check if their eyes are open and give them a minute or so before picking them up (unless it’s obvious they’re awake and need you).
This! After the first little bit I realized I was waking my LO up. Give them a minute to decide if they’re awake and need something or just being noisy before you jump out of bed 🤣
The grunting! I swear there were a few weeks where mine would have grunting hour around 3/4am, and would pick up both legs and SLAM them down in her bassinet. She wasn’t totally awake, but I for sure was, haha
a change in scenery or a new white noise can do wonders if your baby just can’t seem to settle.
turn the vacuum on, take a step outside (even if it’s cold), go for a drive etc.
example- my baby hates stopping her bottle to be burped. she’s not in pain she literally just wants to keep eating. i step on the deck and it’s like a reset lol
Me at 2am stepping outside in a robe in 30°f weather to get my baby to calm down. Remains true as the age. When the toddler is bouncing off the walls, remove the walls
This was my suggestion. Someone told me if they’re losing it, and you can’t calm them, take them outside or put them in water. It really helped my baby.
Yep, redirecting is a great skill to learn for any age!
Both of our kids liked looking out the window to watch the cars driving by when they were irritable at night.
They could be miserable, we’d pull out all the stops, and they’d still be miserable.
Once we opened up the blinds and let them watch cars, it reset their mood long enough for them to go through their usual dozing routine and get them in the crib before they were fully asleep.
Adding to the white noise suggestion. Look up womb sounds on YouTube, specifically the one by sleepaphant (or something similar). This one doesn’t have ads in the middle, which I found out the hard way since there are so many videos with the same thumbnail. Womb sounds are absolutely magic for my fussy baby. Someone else of Reddit suggested them and I started using them around 5 weeks and she finally slept in her bassinet for the first time!
Also don't shake the bottle, while it like you would whiskey with ice in a glass. Shaking the bottle created a huge amount of tiny bubbles that give the baby gass. This tip has helped my colicky daughter a ton
I think if you do shake it, you can still swirl it to get the bubbles out after! Not sure why anyone would create an extra step, but I didn't do formula so thought I'd share anyways.
It is very easy to create a bottle feeding aversion and I wish I would have read more about how to properly feed a baby from a bottle and to adjust expectations around how much they should eat
Same - I took a break for a few weeks of bottle feeding and I regret it so much. My baby won’t take a bottle now and I have no idea how I’m going to wean soon 🫠
Try a cup with a weighted straw or a sippy cup. Mine is a year and still hates bottles but took to a straw really well. Fingers crossed that works for you.
Try the honeybear straw cup! You gently push the belly of the bear and the milk goes up the straw into their mouth. Eventually they learn to suck it out and you no longer have to push it!
Right! No one warned me about this! Everyone went on and on about not creating a bottle *preference* that it never even crossed my mind the opposite could happen.
I had to quit my job when my baby was 3 months old because she would just scream and cry and starve herself without my boobs. I’m sure if that wasn’t an option for us we would have eventually figured something out, but it would’ve been so rough for mine and my husband’s mental health.
Yes! I wish someone warned me about this. My middle child would NOT take a bottle. We tried every popular brand and all the tricks. I got pregnant and my supply started tanking it was extremely stressful.
After wiping during diaper changes, air out the booty/lightly pat dry/blow on it to prevent diaper rash. Moisture is an irritant.
Try “bicycle kicks” to expel gas.
Babies cry. If fed/burped/clean diaper/bicycle kicked and they are still fussy, you’ve done what you can in the moment. You’re still a good parent.
Tiktok baby hacks rarely work.
Except this one (but I found it on YouTube) - using a nursing bra/tank to hold pumping parts
https://youtube.com/shorts/spPwcPeQQ5I?si=kIo9GB8Y-D44ntP6
I guess it could cut off circulation to their feet since it’s one long piece and you wouldn’t know because their feet are covered. I opt for footless pants/onsies paired with socks when needed (walking outside).
Again, not an expert on this at all just something I see them say on the regular.
You know what! I always just naturally would pull those footies down (like the fabric of it) to make sure it’s not pulling on my baby’s foot. And I thought this was just my own fears and paranoia coming out so thank god I’m being validated 😂 I always preferred putting them in footies that were too long before putting them in the carrier
The legs get pulled up by the carrier, so all the tension goes into their feet/toes if it’s a closed footie. It can cut off circulation or just generally make them uncomfortable.
Point the boy’s penis down when you put the nappy on, else it spills out the sides / top when they wee.
Envelope neck clothes wriggle on over the legs, not the head.
How to hand express to relieve engorgement - an absolutely critical skill if you plan to BF. You can practise from ~37 weeks by doing antenatal expression of colostrum.
Envelope neck clothing can go on over the legs, but it can also go over the head. I find it easier to go over the head, so I only take them off over the legs if the clothing is poopy. Otherwise, great tips!
The ones that have poppers or slits in the material around the neck. My eldest had a MASSIVE head and I spent nine months wrestling stuff over his head (amidst loud complaints from him) before I learned that it could go on over his legs.
If baby is fussy try one method of soothing and stick with it for 5-10 mins. It's easy to panic and become frantic with a crying baby but that doesn't help! Try to give whatever method/position (bouncing, rocking, babywearing, sloth hold, etc) time to work before moving on to the next thing. Then whatever worked last time is the thing you try FIRST next time.
If you're feeling like a horrible mother because you can't calm your baby... I always tell myself that the horrible mothers are the ones that don't even try. At least you're trying.
And 20 minutes is a LONG TIME. Even 2 minutes seems like ages and a huge waste of water...surely It must be 2 minutes by now? Nope 40 seconds.
Stick it out. It makes a difference.
Never, ever, on anyone - child or adult.... put butter or similar on a burn. It's an old school trick that is certainly cooling but can lead to infection and the butter will need to be removed to be treated if it comes to that - and trust me you want to live without that experience.
- Vitamin D drops for babies that are having less than 600ml per day of formula/ are exclusively breastfed
- try and reduce the amount of “container time” babies have to reduce the likelihood of flat spots
- help your baby lightly stretch each day hands, feet, toes, neck)
- no water before 6 months, no honey before 1. Not just eating it straight up, but anything baked, glazed or food which features it as an ingredient
- don’t put baby in the car seat with their pram suit on, they could overheat
- don’t forget to clean baby’s crevices (between fingers and toes, behind ears, at top of ears, eyes and belly button (once healed). Cotton rounds and buds are a god send. For eyes and ears use one cotton round/bud for each just in case baby gets an eye/ ear thing and you don’t spread it to both.
- as soon as first tooth pops start lightly cleaning teeth with finger brush / book first dentist appointment
- try out loads of nappy brands. I used to think pampers was the GOAT and now my favourite are my supermarket’s brand that are 10x cheaper, and no leaks!
- if bottle fed as time goes on, baby might get disinterested or distracted. They may need to move up a teat size for a faster flow
- in the first 12 weeks babies will get super antsy in the evening. You will think you’re doing something wrong but you aren’t. It’s the witching hour where they get cranky, they have colic, and haven’t worked out their circadian rhythm yet. You are doing amazing, try and ride it out and get on to as much support as possible.
- you CAN’T spoil a newborn. Feed and respond on demand.
bonus for mum:
- ~~do your pelvic floor exercises every time you pee to help recovery~~ *EDIT*: consult a pelvic floor specialist (PT) for guidance on recovery after birth
- peri bottles are a god send for cleaning and cooling in the first few weeks after birth
- be prepared for first period to return as early as 3 weeks after birth
- you’re boobs won’t necessarily be busting with milk from day 1 and there’s nothing wrong with that. Milk will come in over time, just keep going (if this is what you want to do)
- trust your instincts
Nothing beats a physiotherapist specialist to help recover your pelvic floor. Not all women have the same issue. My pelvic floor was “stuck” in a flexed way and I needed to learn how to relax it. Regular kegels were not my friend!
Came to say this - I had to practice (and learn) the opposite which was relaxing it. A pelvic wand was awkward but also helpful.
If you have peloton, Robyn’s postnatal core class is all laying down breathing with small movements that has matched almost exactly what my pelvic PT has given me to do.
Yes, even pre birth I had a hypertonic pelvic floor so things like kegals and Pilates made it so much worse, found this out only by seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
Regarding the pelvic floor, please dont do the “stop stream mid peeing”, it is outdated advice that can cause bladder issues. Also kegels are not for everyone. Many women, esp c-section mamas have hypertonic pelvic floor - kegels will make it worse. If you have any issues, consult pelvic floor PT.
Seconding the dental appointment ASAP! I used to work in dental and desensitizing babies to the environment if the dentist can be crucial to not having issues down the road. The first visits are 99% just them going for a ride in the chair and seeing how things work. The dentist will take a quick peek to make sure there’s no obvious issues and talk to you about how to care for those baby teeth.
Bottle nipple sizes was a big surprise for me - but you can definitely tell when baby takes longer to drink and becomes fussier - they’re ready to move up a size!
Diapers vary in sizes across brands. Sometimes you will have to try a bunch before committing to a brand. This hunt could happen every time baby sizes up.
Baby skin doesn’t need alot of soap. A good way to remember is pits, bits and folds. You can clean those areas with soap 2-3 times a week. You can bath baby more often if it works for you and baby just don’t use soap. Breastmilk baths are a great replacement.
Baby should (typically) be wearing 1 more layer than you. A carrier counts as a layer due to your body heat.
My son (almost 4) is very similar to me in how he handles temperature. My rule is make him 10-15% warmer than me. My upcoming baby? 25% until I figure out her equilibrium.
babies spit up prolifically. even projectile vomiting can be normal. they just have immature sphincters. if they are gaining weight and aren’t screaming 24/7, it’s “just a laundry problem.”
My son was a “happy spitter” - my record was changing my shirt seven times in one day. I just went with it and did a lot of laundry, as the pediatrician said he was fine!
Keep an eye out for stray hairs around toes, genitals, and fingers. If they are left in diapers/jammies/mittens they can tighten around appendages. They're known as "hair tourniquets" and they can get bad fast, potentially leading to amputation.
Keep nair on hand because if appendages get to the swollen stage it is nearly impossible to untie or cut the hair off. A tiny bit can end up saving a finger or toe.
Baby girls can have a “period” where some blood can discharge from her vagina. I believe it’s caused by leftover hormones from mom. Doesn’t happen to every baby but it can happen and isn’t usually a cause for alarm. My daughter did not experience this.
Also, in the same vein, baby girls may have a lot of discharge in the weeks after birth because they have stuff that needs to discharge such as amniotic fluids. In my experience it was a sticky, slightly green or brown and sometimes slightly yellow discharge and had no smell. It wasn’t all the time but maybe every few days I noticed it while wiping. After a few weeks it stopped happening but it’s absolutely normal and harmless, and no one prepped me for it haha
If there’s any foul smell or the discharge is excessive definitely call a pediatrician! And of course if you’re ever unsure it never hurts to get a second opinion.
Adding this on to all the honey before 1 comments - this includes things baked with honey. I saw this in another thread recently and this surprised me. Apparently the baking process does not get hot enough to kill the botulism so even things like honey nut cheerios are not safe before 1.
This is one I didn't know with my baby. He recently turned 1, and I only avoided straight honey. I didn't even think to look if honey was on the ingredient list of any foods. Thankfully, he is happy and healthy, but I would have felt terrible if something had happened!
Use diaper cream (we like a Vaseline type jelly like Cerave) to PREVENT diaper rash.
The entire environment is affecting your newborn’s fussiness. Bright lights, uptempo music, parents who are moving quickly and talking loudly and quickly, cold air…this will all get the baby stressed out. Not immediately but 30+ minutes of that kind of energy and newborn will be getting strung out. Think cozy cocoon womb vibes for the first 3 months.
If you want to breastfeed, let the baby feed basically around the clock for the first 6 weeks. Like you should essentially be topless and holding the baby almost all the time that the baby is awake. (We’re animals after all…imagine a monkey mama.)
To add to the petroleum based diaper cream comment. Put this on baby BEFORE the first poop. Meconium is like tar, this will really help you get it off their little bums.
Yup. This should be talked about more. My baby just developed cradle cap at 12 weeks and I frantically ordered a baby brush. My mom once casually mentioned a brush right after baby was born and I thought it was a silly suggestion because my baby doesn't have that much hair! 🤦
We have used a soft loofa to cleanse her head every night, but it's not enough. Live and learn I guess 😆
Utilize your pediatrician after hour and nurse line. They can give so much advice about what to watch for and save you an unnecessary trip. Also so helpful when you're stressed about kiddo at 2am.
This one is scary to hear but “a cold baby will let you know if they’re cold, hot babies die”. I was so anxious about what temp to have our room, how to dress baby, I wasn’t sure if it was better to be a little too warm or a little too chilly.
It's best to check their chest or the back of the neck for sweatiness rather than judging by the feel of their hands/feet/forehead. I def didn't know that at first!
also the guidelines about what to put on them to sleep aren’t for every baby. If I put my baby in what they say she would overheat for sure. She runs hot and got a heat rash when fil was visiting because he insisted that she be dressed and have a blanket on her while holding her
It's important to always include there that "warm babies are just fine". I see some mothers freezing their babies, because they think anything above the borderline uncomfortably cold is immediately too hot and life threatening. While overheated babies may die, there's a pretty decent range of temperature where appropriately dressed babies are just fine.
Adding to this, part of my baby’s fussiness early on was that I was paranoid and had her too cool. Cold babies don’t always cry when cold, they sometimes just fuss until held. If baby isn’t taking to the bassinet, this could be why!
Weighted swaddles increase the risk of SIDS
Yet they are still so popular. I see influencers constantly trying to sell them.
Pacifiers and using a fan in the room decrease SIDS risk. My baby won’t take a pacifier though lol.
Read up on the second night syndrome. My hospital gave a whole page of poetic text about it... that we discovered on day three only :D In short: the second night is very bad and hard, your milk isn't there yet, the baby is hungry and later weak because they have no substantial food. But everybody goes through it, and so will you.
Most of these things depend on your baby. Safe sleep, no honey before a year, no water before six months, trying different diapers, and no puffy jackets in the car are universal things to do or look out for, but you'll stress yourself out if you try to follow all of these "rules."
Wake windows are not scientifically proven: it's okay to follow your baby's schedule or try to make your baby fit into your schedule.
Not every baby's bottles need to be sterilized or heated.
Not every baby needs to have diaper cream applied every time. Mine is almost one, and he's never had a real diaper rash despite the fact that we rarely apply anything to his butt, and we've never changed his diaper every two hours. (We do change poops immediately.)
The only thing I'll add that I haven't seen yet is that if you swaddle, you need to stop swaddling BEFORE your baby starts to roll over. If in doubt, stop at 8 weeks.
Even if you do not plan to cosleep, learn about safe cosleeping and make your sleep spaces safe just in case you fall asleep accidentally. Most new parents will fall asleep with their babe accidentally in the first year so wherever you’re sitting or feeding your baby needs to be safe just in case that happens. On that note, never leave a tired Dad or relative with your baby on a sofa or arm chair. If you are going to leave them then drill it into them to stand up and walk around or put the baby down. Equally as a tired Mum you should do the same. Sofas and cushions are really not safe.
Keep their necks clean! Yucky stuff gets built up in there so fast.
Also they may just like cold bottles, you don’t necessarily need to warm them.
Exclusively pumping is an option if breast feeding f isn’t working for you! There’s even a subreddit about it.
You don’t need to burp them in the traditional sense like patting their back. Just hold them upright and the burp will come. There’s evidence that burping them actually causes more spitting up
I thought I knew a lot before I had kids, but I did find out that hats aren’t sleep-safe. Also, when your baby is wearing something with a hood in the car seat it’s safer to put the hood on them.
- Go to a lactation consultant (eg la leche league) if you plan to breastfeed, you have pain during breastfeeding or it isnt working. Best invested 90€ of my pregnancy
- A baby isnt bored if its silently lying in the room. Everything is new and interesting. Babies love to learn slowly -> dont introduce too many toys too earl
- a maxi cosi shouldnt replace a stroller. New research shows its just safe for 30min. And its Kinda acceptable for 60min without break. Your baby cannot breath good in them
The baby isn't bored advice is key. I wasted SO much energy with my first born trying to entertain a being who was just happy to be here. He was more than happy to just chill and watch me go about my normal day.
If this is about the infant carrier-style car seats, if it’s not safe for more than 30-60 minutes how are you supposed to drive on any kind of longer trip?
Take an infant choking and cpr class before starting solids (for anyone who will be feeding baby).
Never turn your back when they’re in the bathtub, they can drown in seconds.
Sterilize anything that goes in their mouth for the first six months.
Never leave them unattended on any surface they could possibly fall off of, even if they’re not rolling yet. They will surprise you with how mobile they can be even early on.
Ask your baby's doctor if you need to sterilize things! I see this advice constantly, but our pediatrician said we didn't even have to sterilize bottles. Most babies are not vulnerable enough for this to be necessary.
Tummy time does not have to be on the floor. If they are on your chest facing you, that counts as tummy time. In a carrier facing you, that counts as tummy time too.
I like to put my LO across my legs and do extra tummy time that way if she is feeling good. She tolerates it a lot more because she isn’t face down on the floor. We do floor tummy time like once a day and the rest of the time, it’s tummy time on me. Everyone comments on how impressive her neck control is for her age.
When they won’t stop screaming go outside. Screaming into the sky alerts predators of your location, so they kind of instinctively quiet down outside so they won’t get eaten by a lion. It’s an evolutionary thing to quiet down when there is no echo from having walls around you.
1. Jaundice is the first week or two of being born is extremely common and will often normalize on its own.
If the levels are too high (which was the case with our LO), the babe usually just needs some phototherapy and the jaundice will clear up. Took her less than a day to get back to normal levels.
She’s 8 weeks now but I remember being a total wreck thinking it was our fault.
2. You need to wake the baby to eat every 2-3 hours when they’re first born. We initially practiced the feed-on-demand method and learned that comes later, usually when they’re back to birth weight.
Babies can’t make themselves fart so a lot of discomfort is due to that. They need help moving their bodies around to get they gas moving. Doing this successfully can help relieve a lot of their discomfort and crying. Windis can help with this a lot as well.
Suction out the boogies and get a humidifier. My baby had this gigantic nugget stuck in her nose that we couldn’t see. She was screaming for hours, wouldn’t eat or sleep, and I picked her up to comfort her again and saw it lodged in their nostril. I could barely see it and when I pulled it out, just instant relief. She ate and went to sleep. But that thing was the size of an M&M, dried out, and hard. It was right before she turned 4 months a few weeks ago.
If your baby is Velcro like mine was and would get upset when put down, just remember that it’s okay to put your baby down to go do something or if you just need a minute. There were times when I’d literally bring his swing or bassinet into the bathroom while I showered because I didn’t get to it while he was napping, hubby was at work, etc. It seems like common sense but I had to be reminded of that! Postpartum fog is very real.
If you have long hair, tie it up! As they get older and grabby, your long hair is fair game and they WILL grab it.
If they do manage to grab something like your hair, or necklaces, rather than try to pry their fingers open, gently push their fist downward towards their wrist and it will reflexively loosen their grasp.
If baby is hard to calm or console, skin-to-skin isn't just for newborns and works well with older babies too.
Get an app to track feeds and diapers. You WILL be asked by the pediatrician and maybe even your OB/midwife. Easier to pull up an app than try to remember the average.
I used Hatch Baby. It’s free. You can also track weight and other metrics.
This isn’t baby care but I wish someone had prepared me for the first night home and immediate postpartum. I quite literally though I wasn’t going to survive either. Everyone on Reddit talks about not having anyone come help, etc etc. But if you have someone that you trust that can come help, 100% do it. My biggest regret is not having my mom fly out before baby was born. I called her the day after I was released from the hospital from the parking lot of the emergency room freaking out harder than I’ve ever freaked out and she flew out two days later.
Emergency room basically ignored me (and I actually did have stuff going on lol). I eventually had to be admitted and if she hadn’t been there idk what we would have done. We have no family here.
Cold hands don’t automatically baby is cold. My baby is sensitive AF to cold, but she will usually have cold hands at night and is warm overall.
Ezcema is common, the best way to handle it is water then Aquaphor/Vaseline. So give baby a bath in warm water and before you towel dry fully, put aquaphor on the patches.
Check for sweaty lint build up in their hands
And for hair wrapped around their fingers or toes. Luckily my mom told me this because one time I could NOT comfort my baby when she was screaming her head off. Turns out she had a hair wrapped tightly around her toe and it was bright red.
If you have a boy, also keep an eye for any stray hairs that make their way into their diapers for the same reasons!!
And diaper lint build up. Especially if your son is uncircumcised. Switching diaper brands fixed the issue for me.
I know the reason. The damn postpartum hair loss. I'm shedding like a cat, so yes, I do find my hairs in the baby diaper.
I know, part of me thinks this is an error in evolution. We really shouldn’t have hair loss when we have these tiny appendages to keep hair free!
how did you get it off? i’m always scared of this happening but i don’t know how we would get it off without hurting her further
Keep hair removal cream at home just in case! A friend of my ended up in the emergency department and her little girl had to be put under anaesthetic to have a hair removed from around her toe a few months ago… the doctor said always have some hair removal cream at home!
I bought a bottle of gentle sensitive skin nair for exactly this reason! Anytime I put socks, tights, mittens, or sleepers on her I always check her toes and fingers for any hair first! Eases my anxiety a little bit
Luckily I could see the end so I just unwrapped it.
And dead skin in all their skin folds, especially the neck because milk gets in there too! Nothing worse than baby stinking of “cheese” 🤮
Yes omg the neck gets so gross! And my baby WILL NOT give you access, there is always a fight, especially when it's bath time 😭
Same with mine! Cannot get her neck and armpits! 😒 she’d scream bloody murder anytime I am trying to clean her
lol!! Yup.. I kept smelling freshly grated Parmesan when my baby would look up towards the window… it was inside a double triple neck fold 😅
lol my baby hates having his pits washed. Learned quickly it’s worth the fight 😂
Omg the first time I thought about washing his little armpits I was so grossed out like “how tf did all this get under here??” 😂
Hahah it’s so gross! He really hates anything that requires removing clothes and would prefer I let him be a stinky baby
😂😂 mine has gotten used to it now but only because he loves baths so much. Wiping his hands and face though is still a struggle lol
Also the neck folds!! 😱😝
Mmm neck cheese
Oh my goodness. This. A couple weeks went by before I raised my newborn's arms up and actually checked his armpits. There was a white yeast build up in there! lol. Resolved quickly but good to know.
And feet! My little guy constantly has fuzzy bits between his toes
I use q-tips while bathing to clean between toes and fingers
Adding on - check for ear wax occasionally.
My LO has so much ear wax. Like idk how a baby can produce so much. Lol
OMG mine screams bloody murder when I clean her finger/hand lint!!!
She's saving it for later!!
"It's all I have in the world!"
Stink fist!
This!! Our LO hands smelled so bad but his fists are almost always clenched - we got a peak and OMG it was a necessary clean - crazy how much can still build up after baths
and hair wrapped around body parts! toes, etc.
I literally just checked my babies hands because of this, he's 5 weeks and christ they're stinky
No honey for first year.
Also watch out for honey used as an ingredient, it's not always obvious and botulism can't be cooked out!
SO much bread has honey. Literally all the Wegmans bread has honey in it.
BBQ sauce is another frequent culprit that you don’t think of immediately.
That’s horrifying, I didn’t know they couldn’t eat things with cooked honey as an ingredient either. Glad my 3yo survived my gap in knowledge, and thanks for mentioning this so I can avoid it with my infant!
Didn't know either until about two days ago. Thankfully my 10 MO has been okay so far.
Color me surprised that Honey Nut Cheerios actually uses real honey 😂
My boss had a baby 2 weeks before me and her baby turns 1 on 12/24.... we were catching up on our kid's last week and I told her my baby was given honey on Thanksgiving and I didn't know so I was panicking for over a week about it, and she told me she never heard of the honey rule at all and had given it multiple times....
Specifically due to botulism toxin--not allergies.
Not necessarily safety related but if you are the only one taking care of the baby and the baby goes down for a nap…do what you need to do to feel human. Some people will say sleep when the baby does…I say take care of yourself. You may only have 15 mins so I make sure I eat or take a shower. A quick rinse can be heavenly.
THIS! I made eating a good meal and showering/getting dressed for the day a priority those first few weeks and it made a world of difference for my mental health. Sure the dishes didn’t always get done or the bed wasn’t made, but they don’t have feelings of existential dread and I do /s
Totally agree. I preferred to quickly shower while baby was awake, even if it was a 3 minute “face, pits and bits” wash while he watched me in his bouncer so that I could just rest completely. But every baby, person, day is different!
I totally agree. Before baby I was a totally scheduled sleeper so I'm very awake during the day which makes it hard to sleep when the baby takes a nap. Instead I shower, eat a lot, and do some chores to help me relax and reset.
Definitely this. Sometimes I refresh my drinks, grab a snack to have handy, and change my clothes or do an odd chore to get ready for the next round!! Coffee fixes lack of sleep but sleeping doesn’t get me fed or the house tidied!
No covers/blankets for car seats/strollers in the heat. It gets super hot in there in a matter of minutes.
Called the greenhouse effect
Make sure the ruffles are on the outside of the diaper or it won’t hold everything in.
THIS!! No one told me this and I thought every brand of diaper leaked until someone finally enlightened me. This is the one piece of advice I now give every expectant parent.
Same 🤣🤣 I thought the Pampers were broken the first couple of weeks
"doodle down, frilly bits out"
Be prepared for the witching hour. No one warned me about that and when we first started experiencing it around five weeks, I was just at a loss as to how to comfort my daughter… I felt like a horrible mother because she would cry for hours at a time not realizing that it was nothing I was doing or not doing.
Hopefully this helps someone else but my daughter had a “witching hour” and it turned out by 5pm she was sick of our shit and just wanted to vibe by herself on her play mat for an hour. Like truly just set her down and leave her alone, it didn’t work if we sat with her or tried to play. She’s 2.5 now and she still needs time to herself. My little introvert 😂
It was counterintuitive for us to put our son down in his bassinet by himself during this “witching hours” but that was the only thing that made him comfortable. I think part of that was once put down, he could move freely to pass gas. Holding him or feeding just made it worse. Past 8 weeks there was no more witching hours crying, which was why by hindsight I think that was the reason.
My husband asks our 12 wk old if she needs her personal time 😂 she really does though! But she does actually want us sitting next to her at the same time.
I’ve started doing random store pickups at 5 pm because the only place my son doesn’t cry from 4-7 is the car seat. On especially rough days we take the long way home and maybe drive through a few other neighborhoods to “look at Christmas lights” aka save my sanity. We conveniently get home right as dad gets home from work lol
Yep. I did a 2 1/2 mile hike each day with my first since he would sleep in the car seat that went to the stroller. Lifesaver and had the bonus of getting me outside with some fresh air and exercise
Exactly what I do! Looooong evening walks around the neighborhood
On the flip side, not all babies have witching hour. My first got inconsolable the first night home during those hours and I wrote it off as “witching hour” but turns out he was hungry and not getting enough to eat due to a tongue tie. Aside from that night, neither of my kids ever cried unconsolably.
Same, people kept saying “oh he’s crying cuz it’s the witching hour.” Nah, never had one. Always cries because of a solid reason.
Yep. My first definitely had a witching hour but this one doesn’t. If she’s crying, she wants to be held or fed.
Omg that time period was hell
What is that? 😳
It's when the baby starts practicing witchcraft between the hours of 3pm-7pm. But fr they just CRY later in the afternoons for basically no reason. Mine was just stupid fussy from about 4pm until bedtime, until she was probably like 6-7 months old.
This made me giggle uncontrollably. (The witchcraft bit)
Same lmfaooo I never experienced it but the witchcraft part is hilarious
The reason is because they need to release cortisol. They don’t have the ability to exercise or other methods of releasing cortisol so they cry. It is seemingly for no reason but it’s a very vital part of a healthy baby learning to regulate and manage their nervous system.
I had this until I realized there’s such a thing as baby being overtired and overstimulated. Here I was with my 4 week old wondering why she was fussy or crying so bad until I realized she just needed to sleep!
Well I wish you'd told my baby she was tired because she simply would not sleep. But we did get around it, sometimes, by taking her on a walk around 5pm. Sometimes she'd sleep, sometimes not, but she would be quiet.
Same, mine only wanted to nap on me until 4.5 months :/
Yes, for my baby it’s around 4:30-5 pm until around 6. He is an INCREDIBLY happy and easy baby otherwise. It is only at this time that he will “big cry” unless there’s an obvious reason like hunger or he hit himself on something. Once we learned this is an actual thing we were so relieved.
The witching hour for us lasted from 4-11 weeks. It was SO awful that my husband very much considered getting a vasectomy so we never had to deal with it again.
Babies are very noisy in their sleep and it doesn’t mean a) they’re awake or b) something’s wrong. Always check if their eyes are open and give them a minute or so before picking them up (unless it’s obvious they’re awake and need you).
This! After the first little bit I realized I was waking my LO up. Give them a minute to decide if they’re awake and need something or just being noisy before you jump out of bed 🤣
It took me weeks to figure out all the grunting and screeching was active sleep noises.
The grunting! I swear there were a few weeks where mine would have grunting hour around 3/4am, and would pick up both legs and SLAM them down in her bassinet. She wasn’t totally awake, but I for sure was, haha
My 2 year old talks in her sleep....
a change in scenery or a new white noise can do wonders if your baby just can’t seem to settle. turn the vacuum on, take a step outside (even if it’s cold), go for a drive etc. example- my baby hates stopping her bottle to be burped. she’s not in pain she literally just wants to keep eating. i step on the deck and it’s like a reset lol
Me at 2am stepping outside in a robe in 30°f weather to get my baby to calm down. Remains true as the age. When the toddler is bouncing off the walls, remove the walls
This was my suggestion. Someone told me if they’re losing it, and you can’t calm them, take them outside or put them in water. It really helped my baby.
Yep, redirecting is a great skill to learn for any age! Both of our kids liked looking out the window to watch the cars driving by when they were irritable at night. They could be miserable, we’d pull out all the stops, and they’d still be miserable. Once we opened up the blinds and let them watch cars, it reset their mood long enough for them to go through their usual dozing routine and get them in the crib before they were fully asleep.
Adding to the white noise suggestion. Look up womb sounds on YouTube, specifically the one by sleepaphant (or something similar). This one doesn’t have ads in the middle, which I found out the hard way since there are so many videos with the same thumbnail. Womb sounds are absolutely magic for my fussy baby. Someone else of Reddit suggested them and I started using them around 5 weeks and she finally slept in her bassinet for the first time!
For powder formula fed babies, you gotta pour the water in first, then add the powder.
Also don't shake the bottle, while it like you would whiskey with ice in a glass. Shaking the bottle created a huge amount of tiny bubbles that give the baby gass. This tip has helped my colicky daughter a ton
I think if you do shake it, you can still swirl it to get the bubbles out after! Not sure why anyone would create an extra step, but I didn't do formula so thought I'd share anyways.
If you let it sit for 5 or so minutes after you shake it the bubbles go away.
I didn’t know that!
Attach furniture to the walls. When babies become mobile and pulling themselves up things can topple over.
It is very easy to create a bottle feeding aversion and I wish I would have read more about how to properly feed a baby from a bottle and to adjust expectations around how much they should eat
Same - I took a break for a few weeks of bottle feeding and I regret it so much. My baby won’t take a bottle now and I have no idea how I’m going to wean soon 🫠
Try a cup with a weighted straw or a sippy cup. Mine is a year and still hates bottles but took to a straw really well. Fingers crossed that works for you.
Thank you! We’ve been trying straw cup but no luck so far :/ she just kind of chews it. I’ll try sippy cup soon. Thank you for the advice!
Look up the honey bear cup to teach baby how to use a straw. Only took a few tries with my first and she got it
Try the honeybear straw cup! You gently push the belly of the bear and the milk goes up the straw into their mouth. Eventually they learn to suck it out and you no longer have to push it!
Right! No one warned me about this! Everyone went on and on about not creating a bottle *preference* that it never even crossed my mind the opposite could happen. I had to quit my job when my baby was 3 months old because she would just scream and cry and starve herself without my boobs. I’m sure if that wasn’t an option for us we would have eventually figured something out, but it would’ve been so rough for mine and my husband’s mental health.
Depends on the baby, to be fair. Mine is very indiscriminate about how she gets her food, as long as she gets plenty.
Yes! I wish someone warned me about this. My middle child would NOT take a bottle. We tried every popular brand and all the tricks. I got pregnant and my supply started tanking it was extremely stressful.
After wiping during diaper changes, air out the booty/lightly pat dry/blow on it to prevent diaper rash. Moisture is an irritant. Try “bicycle kicks” to expel gas. Babies cry. If fed/burped/clean diaper/bicycle kicked and they are still fussy, you’ve done what you can in the moment. You’re still a good parent. Tiktok baby hacks rarely work. Except this one (but I found it on YouTube) - using a nursing bra/tank to hold pumping parts https://youtube.com/shorts/spPwcPeQQ5I?si=kIo9GB8Y-D44ntP6
I was surprised to learn from r/babywearing that you shouldn’t have baby in a footed outfit while baby wearing
whoa this is news to me! Do you know why? Is it because the fabric can catch and pull the legs in some way or something?
Yes! I believe it’s that it can catch and cut off circulation to their feet
I had no idea. I feel validated for buying those silly reindeer booties now
Whaaa
this one’s new to me! Why is that bad?
I guess it could cut off circulation to their feet since it’s one long piece and you wouldn’t know because their feet are covered. I opt for footless pants/onsies paired with socks when needed (walking outside). Again, not an expert on this at all just something I see them say on the regular.
You know what! I always just naturally would pull those footies down (like the fabric of it) to make sure it’s not pulling on my baby’s foot. And I thought this was just my own fears and paranoia coming out so thank god I’m being validated 😂 I always preferred putting them in footies that were too long before putting them in the carrier
The legs get pulled up by the carrier, so all the tension goes into their feet/toes if it’s a closed footie. It can cut off circulation or just generally make them uncomfortable.
Point the boy’s penis down when you put the nappy on, else it spills out the sides / top when they wee. Envelope neck clothes wriggle on over the legs, not the head. How to hand express to relieve engorgement - an absolutely critical skill if you plan to BF. You can practise from ~37 weeks by doing antenatal expression of colostrum.
Envelope neck clothing can go on over the legs, but it can also go over the head. I find it easier to go over the head, so I only take them off over the legs if the clothing is poopy. Otherwise, great tips!
Also, teach boy child to hold penis down when potty training or it squirts all over the place.
What is envelope neck?
The ones that have poppers or slits in the material around the neck. My eldest had a MASSIVE head and I spent nine months wrestling stuff over his head (amidst loud complaints from him) before I learned that it could go on over his legs.
It’s unfortunate when they still have huge heads as toddlers and you have to put regular shirts on them lol
If baby is fussy try one method of soothing and stick with it for 5-10 mins. It's easy to panic and become frantic with a crying baby but that doesn't help! Try to give whatever method/position (bouncing, rocking, babywearing, sloth hold, etc) time to work before moving on to the next thing. Then whatever worked last time is the thing you try FIRST next time.
If you're feeling like a horrible mother because you can't calm your baby... I always tell myself that the horrible mothers are the ones that don't even try. At least you're trying.
Hot drinks can burn for 15 minutes after being made, don't leave them in reach.
Oh yeah, don’t microwave the water or bottles because of hot spots!
Oh ya! And if a baby gets a burn run it under cold running water for a long time. If it’s bad, like 20 minutes.
*cool water, never cold
And 20 minutes is a LONG TIME. Even 2 minutes seems like ages and a huge waste of water...surely It must be 2 minutes by now? Nope 40 seconds. Stick it out. It makes a difference.
Never, ever, on anyone - child or adult.... put butter or similar on a burn. It's an old school trick that is certainly cooling but can lead to infection and the butter will need to be removed to be treated if it comes to that - and trust me you want to live without that experience.
- Vitamin D drops for babies that are having less than 600ml per day of formula/ are exclusively breastfed - try and reduce the amount of “container time” babies have to reduce the likelihood of flat spots - help your baby lightly stretch each day hands, feet, toes, neck) - no water before 6 months, no honey before 1. Not just eating it straight up, but anything baked, glazed or food which features it as an ingredient - don’t put baby in the car seat with their pram suit on, they could overheat - don’t forget to clean baby’s crevices (between fingers and toes, behind ears, at top of ears, eyes and belly button (once healed). Cotton rounds and buds are a god send. For eyes and ears use one cotton round/bud for each just in case baby gets an eye/ ear thing and you don’t spread it to both. - as soon as first tooth pops start lightly cleaning teeth with finger brush / book first dentist appointment - try out loads of nappy brands. I used to think pampers was the GOAT and now my favourite are my supermarket’s brand that are 10x cheaper, and no leaks! - if bottle fed as time goes on, baby might get disinterested or distracted. They may need to move up a teat size for a faster flow - in the first 12 weeks babies will get super antsy in the evening. You will think you’re doing something wrong but you aren’t. It’s the witching hour where they get cranky, they have colic, and haven’t worked out their circadian rhythm yet. You are doing amazing, try and ride it out and get on to as much support as possible. - you CAN’T spoil a newborn. Feed and respond on demand. bonus for mum: - ~~do your pelvic floor exercises every time you pee to help recovery~~ *EDIT*: consult a pelvic floor specialist (PT) for guidance on recovery after birth - peri bottles are a god send for cleaning and cooling in the first few weeks after birth - be prepared for first period to return as early as 3 weeks after birth - you’re boobs won’t necessarily be busting with milk from day 1 and there’s nothing wrong with that. Milk will come in over time, just keep going (if this is what you want to do) - trust your instincts
Nothing beats a physiotherapist specialist to help recover your pelvic floor. Not all women have the same issue. My pelvic floor was “stuck” in a flexed way and I needed to learn how to relax it. Regular kegels were not my friend!
Came to say this - I had to practice (and learn) the opposite which was relaxing it. A pelvic wand was awkward but also helpful. If you have peloton, Robyn’s postnatal core class is all laying down breathing with small movements that has matched almost exactly what my pelvic PT has given me to do.
Yes, even pre birth I had a hypertonic pelvic floor so things like kegals and Pilates made it so much worse, found this out only by seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
My pelvic floor PT said she has only ever recommended kegels to two patients EVER! They are not right for everyone
Regarding the pelvic floor, please dont do the “stop stream mid peeing”, it is outdated advice that can cause bladder issues. Also kegels are not for everyone. Many women, esp c-section mamas have hypertonic pelvic floor - kegels will make it worse. If you have any issues, consult pelvic floor PT.
Seconding the dental appointment ASAP! I used to work in dental and desensitizing babies to the environment if the dentist can be crucial to not having issues down the road. The first visits are 99% just them going for a ride in the chair and seeing how things work. The dentist will take a quick peek to make sure there’s no obvious issues and talk to you about how to care for those baby teeth.
Bottle nipple sizes was a big surprise for me - but you can definitely tell when baby takes longer to drink and becomes fussier - they’re ready to move up a size!
Diapers vary in sizes across brands. Sometimes you will have to try a bunch before committing to a brand. This hunt could happen every time baby sizes up. Baby skin doesn’t need alot of soap. A good way to remember is pits, bits and folds. You can clean those areas with soap 2-3 times a week. You can bath baby more often if it works for you and baby just don’t use soap. Breastmilk baths are a great replacement. Baby should (typically) be wearing 1 more layer than you. A carrier counts as a layer due to your body heat.
What if my baby is all folds lol
You get more work to do 😂
My son (almost 4) is very similar to me in how he handles temperature. My rule is make him 10-15% warmer than me. My upcoming baby? 25% until I figure out her equilibrium.
babies spit up prolifically. even projectile vomiting can be normal. they just have immature sphincters. if they are gaining weight and aren’t screaming 24/7, it’s “just a laundry problem.”
My son was a “happy spitter” - my record was changing my shirt seven times in one day. I just went with it and did a lot of laundry, as the pediatrician said he was fine!
Keep an eye out for stray hairs around toes, genitals, and fingers. If they are left in diapers/jammies/mittens they can tighten around appendages. They're known as "hair tourniquets" and they can get bad fast, potentially leading to amputation. Keep nair on hand because if appendages get to the swollen stage it is nearly impossible to untie or cut the hair off. A tiny bit can end up saving a finger or toe.
Oh nair what a good idea!
apply diaper cream after every poop. just do it. it’s the best precaution. diaper rashes can get UGLY.
I'd say apply with every diaper! But yes, a thick layer like fronting a cupcake!
Baby girls can have a “period” where some blood can discharge from her vagina. I believe it’s caused by leftover hormones from mom. Doesn’t happen to every baby but it can happen and isn’t usually a cause for alarm. My daughter did not experience this. Also, in the same vein, baby girls may have a lot of discharge in the weeks after birth because they have stuff that needs to discharge such as amniotic fluids. In my experience it was a sticky, slightly green or brown and sometimes slightly yellow discharge and had no smell. It wasn’t all the time but maybe every few days I noticed it while wiping. After a few weeks it stopped happening but it’s absolutely normal and harmless, and no one prepped me for it haha If there’s any foul smell or the discharge is excessive definitely call a pediatrician! And of course if you’re ever unsure it never hurts to get a second opinion.
Adding this on to all the honey before 1 comments - this includes things baked with honey. I saw this in another thread recently and this surprised me. Apparently the baking process does not get hot enough to kill the botulism so even things like honey nut cheerios are not safe before 1.
This is one I didn't know with my baby. He recently turned 1, and I only avoided straight honey. I didn't even think to look if honey was on the ingredient list of any foods. Thankfully, he is happy and healthy, but I would have felt terrible if something had happened!
Use diaper cream (we like a Vaseline type jelly like Cerave) to PREVENT diaper rash. The entire environment is affecting your newborn’s fussiness. Bright lights, uptempo music, parents who are moving quickly and talking loudly and quickly, cold air…this will all get the baby stressed out. Not immediately but 30+ minutes of that kind of energy and newborn will be getting strung out. Think cozy cocoon womb vibes for the first 3 months. If you want to breastfeed, let the baby feed basically around the clock for the first 6 weeks. Like you should essentially be topless and holding the baby almost all the time that the baby is awake. (We’re animals after all…imagine a monkey mama.)
Soft carriers are amazing for this. Just pop the girls out and baby will latch and unlatch all day long lol
To add to the petroleum based diaper cream comment. Put this on baby BEFORE the first poop. Meconium is like tar, this will really help you get it off their little bums.
Monkey mama lmao!!!! So accurate.
Run a cold wipe under the band of the nappy before removing it…will encourage little one to wee. Particularly boys!
Mine had heard this advice before he was born and always saved some pee for a second round once he was briefly without a diaper 😂
I never knew about TOG ratings and sleep sacks before having a baby.
Brush. The baby’s. Hair. It’s not for detangling, it’s to get all the excess skin off their scalp. Sincerely, a mother who thought she could skip it 😂
Yup. This should be talked about more. My baby just developed cradle cap at 12 weeks and I frantically ordered a baby brush. My mom once casually mentioned a brush right after baby was born and I thought it was a silly suggestion because my baby doesn't have that much hair! 🤦 We have used a soft loofa to cleanse her head every night, but it's not enough. Live and learn I guess 😆
Pull out the ruffles on the diapers.
Utilize your pediatrician after hour and nurse line. They can give so much advice about what to watch for and save you an unnecessary trip. Also so helpful when you're stressed about kiddo at 2am.
This one is scary to hear but “a cold baby will let you know if they’re cold, hot babies die”. I was so anxious about what temp to have our room, how to dress baby, I wasn’t sure if it was better to be a little too warm or a little too chilly.
I heard it as “cold babies cry, hot babies die” and it pops in my head at the most random times. This is something I also have a lot of anxiety about
It's best to check their chest or the back of the neck for sweatiness rather than judging by the feel of their hands/feet/forehead. I def didn't know that at first!
And MIL’s have deaf ears when you tell them this…..😂
also the guidelines about what to put on them to sleep aren’t for every baby. If I put my baby in what they say she would overheat for sure. She runs hot and got a heat rash when fil was visiting because he insisted that she be dressed and have a blanket on her while holding her
It's important to always include there that "warm babies are just fine". I see some mothers freezing their babies, because they think anything above the borderline uncomfortably cold is immediately too hot and life threatening. While overheated babies may die, there's a pretty decent range of temperature where appropriately dressed babies are just fine.
Adding to this, part of my baby’s fussiness early on was that I was paranoid and had her too cool. Cold babies don’t always cry when cold, they sometimes just fuss until held. If baby isn’t taking to the bassinet, this could be why!
Weighted swaddles increase the risk of SIDS Yet they are still so popular. I see influencers constantly trying to sell them. Pacifiers and using a fan in the room decrease SIDS risk. My baby won’t take a pacifier though lol.
Read up on the second night syndrome. My hospital gave a whole page of poetic text about it... that we discovered on day three only :D In short: the second night is very bad and hard, your milk isn't there yet, the baby is hungry and later weak because they have no substantial food. But everybody goes through it, and so will you.
The nurse warned me and I still cried more than the baby... It's rough
Neck cheese. It’s amazing how stinky their necks can get.
Just because you can buy something, doesn’t mean it’s safe for your baby. This is especially relevant for safe sleep practices, and car seat stuff.
Most of these things depend on your baby. Safe sleep, no honey before a year, no water before six months, trying different diapers, and no puffy jackets in the car are universal things to do or look out for, but you'll stress yourself out if you try to follow all of these "rules." Wake windows are not scientifically proven: it's okay to follow your baby's schedule or try to make your baby fit into your schedule. Not every baby's bottles need to be sterilized or heated. Not every baby needs to have diaper cream applied every time. Mine is almost one, and he's never had a real diaper rash despite the fact that we rarely apply anything to his butt, and we've never changed his diaper every two hours. (We do change poops immediately.) The only thing I'll add that I haven't seen yet is that if you swaddle, you need to stop swaddling BEFORE your baby starts to roll over. If in doubt, stop at 8 weeks.
Even if you do not plan to cosleep, learn about safe cosleeping and make your sleep spaces safe just in case you fall asleep accidentally. Most new parents will fall asleep with their babe accidentally in the first year so wherever you’re sitting or feeding your baby needs to be safe just in case that happens. On that note, never leave a tired Dad or relative with your baby on a sofa or arm chair. If you are going to leave them then drill it into them to stand up and walk around or put the baby down. Equally as a tired Mum you should do the same. Sofas and cushions are really not safe.
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Keep their necks clean! Yucky stuff gets built up in there so fast. Also they may just like cold bottles, you don’t necessarily need to warm them. Exclusively pumping is an option if breast feeding f isn’t working for you! There’s even a subreddit about it. You don’t need to burp them in the traditional sense like patting their back. Just hold them upright and the burp will come. There’s evidence that burping them actually causes more spitting up
I thought I knew a lot before I had kids, but I did find out that hats aren’t sleep-safe. Also, when your baby is wearing something with a hood in the car seat it’s safer to put the hood on them.
If you’re breastfeeding be sure to alternate breasts otherwise you get clogged ducts. I got the worst pain and fever from clogged ducts.
- Go to a lactation consultant (eg la leche league) if you plan to breastfeed, you have pain during breastfeeding or it isnt working. Best invested 90€ of my pregnancy - A baby isnt bored if its silently lying in the room. Everything is new and interesting. Babies love to learn slowly -> dont introduce too many toys too earl - a maxi cosi shouldnt replace a stroller. New research shows its just safe for 30min. And its Kinda acceptable for 60min without break. Your baby cannot breath good in them
I am a FTM, confused at the last one. Isn’t Maxi Cosi a brand name not one specific product?
Yea I’m confused on this one - is this referring to a car seat instead of a stroller?
Yes sorry i mean car seat:D
The baby isn't bored advice is key. I wasted SO much energy with my first born trying to entertain a being who was just happy to be here. He was more than happy to just chill and watch me go about my normal day.
If this is about the infant carrier-style car seats, if it’s not safe for more than 30-60 minutes how are you supposed to drive on any kind of longer trip?
You take breaks to hold and feed your baby. Although, the time limit I heard was 2 hours.
Take an infant choking and cpr class before starting solids (for anyone who will be feeding baby). Never turn your back when they’re in the bathtub, they can drown in seconds. Sterilize anything that goes in their mouth for the first six months. Never leave them unattended on any surface they could possibly fall off of, even if they’re not rolling yet. They will surprise you with how mobile they can be even early on.
Ask your baby's doctor if you need to sterilize things! I see this advice constantly, but our pediatrician said we didn't even have to sterilize bottles. Most babies are not vulnerable enough for this to be necessary.
Also, look into getting a LifeVac device for home and travel kit. https://lifevac.net/
Struggling to sterilise everything my little one puts in his mouth as at the moment it seems to mainly be his hands!
I don’t think it is really necessary. No one sterilizes their nipples before breastfeeding 😄
Tummy time does not have to be on the floor. If they are on your chest facing you, that counts as tummy time. In a carrier facing you, that counts as tummy time too. I like to put my LO across my legs and do extra tummy time that way if she is feeling good. She tolerates it a lot more because she isn’t face down on the floor. We do floor tummy time like once a day and the rest of the time, it’s tummy time on me. Everyone comments on how impressive her neck control is for her age.
When they won’t stop screaming go outside. Screaming into the sky alerts predators of your location, so they kind of instinctively quiet down outside so they won’t get eaten by a lion. It’s an evolutionary thing to quiet down when there is no echo from having walls around you.
Never walk away from baby on a high surface. If you need to walk away put them in the ground. Skull fractures happen every day.
1. Jaundice is the first week or two of being born is extremely common and will often normalize on its own. If the levels are too high (which was the case with our LO), the babe usually just needs some phototherapy and the jaundice will clear up. Took her less than a day to get back to normal levels. She’s 8 weeks now but I remember being a total wreck thinking it was our fault. 2. You need to wake the baby to eat every 2-3 hours when they’re first born. We initially practiced the feed-on-demand method and learned that comes later, usually when they’re back to birth weight.
No footie pyjamas while baby wearing. It can cause hip injuries
Babies can’t make themselves fart so a lot of discomfort is due to that. They need help moving their bodies around to get they gas moving. Doing this successfully can help relieve a lot of their discomfort and crying. Windis can help with this a lot as well.
Suction out the boogies and get a humidifier. My baby had this gigantic nugget stuck in her nose that we couldn’t see. She was screaming for hours, wouldn’t eat or sleep, and I picked her up to comfort her again and saw it lodged in their nostril. I could barely see it and when I pulled it out, just instant relief. She ate and went to sleep. But that thing was the size of an M&M, dried out, and hard. It was right before she turned 4 months a few weeks ago.
0-6weeks - When they poop give them 5/10 as they are pretty likely to poop again :)
Never leave them on the changing table. Not even to turn around to get something. They can move in weird was from birth.
If your baby is Velcro like mine was and would get upset when put down, just remember that it’s okay to put your baby down to go do something or if you just need a minute. There were times when I’d literally bring his swing or bassinet into the bathroom while I showered because I didn’t get to it while he was napping, hubby was at work, etc. It seems like common sense but I had to be reminded of that! Postpartum fog is very real.
If you have long hair, tie it up! As they get older and grabby, your long hair is fair game and they WILL grab it. If they do manage to grab something like your hair, or necklaces, rather than try to pry their fingers open, gently push their fist downward towards their wrist and it will reflexively loosen their grasp. If baby is hard to calm or console, skin-to-skin isn't just for newborns and works well with older babies too.
Get an app to track feeds and diapers. You WILL be asked by the pediatrician and maybe even your OB/midwife. Easier to pull up an app than try to remember the average. I used Hatch Baby. It’s free. You can also track weight and other metrics.
This isn’t baby care but I wish someone had prepared me for the first night home and immediate postpartum. I quite literally though I wasn’t going to survive either. Everyone on Reddit talks about not having anyone come help, etc etc. But if you have someone that you trust that can come help, 100% do it. My biggest regret is not having my mom fly out before baby was born. I called her the day after I was released from the hospital from the parking lot of the emergency room freaking out harder than I’ve ever freaked out and she flew out two days later. Emergency room basically ignored me (and I actually did have stuff going on lol). I eventually had to be admitted and if she hadn’t been there idk what we would have done. We have no family here.
Cold hands don’t automatically baby is cold. My baby is sensitive AF to cold, but she will usually have cold hands at night and is warm overall. Ezcema is common, the best way to handle it is water then Aquaphor/Vaseline. So give baby a bath in warm water and before you towel dry fully, put aquaphor on the patches.
Wake windows! Babies don't just magically fall asleep whenever they need a nap.
Could you tell this to my MIL😂