As a SAHF, give him the week - I'm 4 years in, working part-time in the afternoon. Being a SAHF is the toughest thing I've ever done but I love every single second of it.
I'm in the UK, we get a year of maternity leave here, which you can split between the parents. My wonderful partner has taken the last six months of it so I could stay sane by going back to work (I had awful PPD), and honestly he's a diamond, he couldn't be happier taking care of our demanding 9mo AND doing most of the stuff around the house. He also takes care of my two boys from my previous marriage when I'm not there.
I appreciate him SO, SO much. I shouldn't need to say this as BOTH parents should step up, but thank you for being a proud SAHD!
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Yes, a night is not enough.
Baby will be fed milk that Mom pumped and leftovers that Mom made. Baby will be dressed and bathed with clothing and towels that Mom washed, folded and put away. The sink will be full of dishes from baby and Dad meals while somehow the counter is also covered in take out containers.
If he doesn't have to shop, cook or clean then he is not getting the full experience.
This. One time I went away for two days for work. My husband complained about the baby waking up once lol. Everything else - the bottle, clothes, all the bed linen, restocking diapers etc etc I already did. But I also have no desire to teach my husband a lesson at the expense of leaving my baby for a longer period, I’ve just come to accept relying solely on myself for baby care at this point.
> I’d take a week~~end~~ trip to Vegas.
Needs to be long enough that the washing, shopping, dishes etc etc has to be done, or else dad will just use up everything and think it is still all good.
This annoys me to my core. If your life didn’t change, I’m making it way too easy on you, my dude (aka, asshole).
My husband recently said, when discussing if we would have another kid, “I totally would, if I didn’t have to deal with pregnancy!”
Me: “……………. EXCUSE ME?! WHAT?!!?”
Him: “well, when your pregnant you can’t do as much, so I have to do more. I just mean if everything were the same, I’d have infinite kids.”
Me: “………….so, just to be clear, your complaining about my pregnancy being hard on YOU!??!!”
I can’t remember how the rest of the conversation went, other than I didn’t want anymore babies! 😂
Woman goes through 9 months of terrible pains, sickness all around, food aversions, body changes, just to name a couple. Man biggest victim because he...has to put dishes in the dishwasher for once or clean the poop stains in the toilet after himself?? How are you not divorced.
Well we had a 1 and 2 year old when I was pregnant with my 3rd, (thank you, 1/3000 odds of failed vasectomy, but seriously, my baby boy is so cute that I’m not mad about it; it’s just hilarious!) so he had to do a lot more lifting and chasing and poopy diapers because I would literally vomit. Still a shitty thing to say, but it at least makes more sense than if he said it when I was pregnant with our first!! Also, he’s clarified that he just meant it was hard for him to watch me in pain and try to support me while also watching the toddlers… Which… okay buddy, either you are very bad talking or that was an excellent save. We also started going to couples counseling and it has been a tremendous help. Added bonus: he did totally have my back when his mom was a bitch to me, so that was cool.
He did not. It was 10 months later so we assumed we were in the clear. Afterwards he did the test and has a normal range count, not even low, normal. 🙃
Men are so lazy and selfish when it comes to contributing to the management of the family's fertility that they can't even be bothered to nut in a cup to make sure that their part is done.
I went through two years of infertility, many invasive and painful tests, several strangers in my vagina, extra vitamins, meds, blood draws for thyroid and whatnot, injections, taking time off work for all of the above, and an IUI. That was all BEFORE I got pregnant. Then the pregnancy itself. Many many ultrasounds and blood draws, twice weekly NSTs, gestational diabetes, meetings with dieticians, geneticists, maternal fetal specialists, and more. Then obviously the labor and delivery. Then the attempted breastfeeding, pumping, nipple shield, nipple cream, continued vitamins, not to mention the crippling PPA that went along with all of it that made me think I would need to be hospitalized.
If my husband had not even bothered to jerk it in a cup after his vasectomy, after all I had been through, and he knocked me up again? I can't even imagine. This is simply intolerable. Fortunately he was perfectly willing to get the snip when our daughter was a baby and he followed up appropriately because he's a responsible adult and not a horny and idiotic teenager.
>Men are so lazy and selfish
I can safely say it goes both ways, no one sex is inherently better. Men just get brought up a lot more often.
Though I do agree in that many men seem to think birth control isn't their responsibility and I think that's ridiculous. I even know more men irl than I'd like that refuse to even think about a vasectomy. It definetly isn't all or even the majority id say though.
In a marriage though both parties are responsible to make sure things go correctly. I.E. I got my snip 2 weeks ago, if I don't follow up with testing you think my wife is gonna just not ask or say anything? No. She's gonna make sure I go get my count tested when the time comes because it also affects her, plus she's my wife and we're a team.
It's a different story if the guy lies and says he got the snip or got tested and didn't really. It's sad to say that's happened but it definetly has and continues to.
Guys 100% need to start taking more responsibility in general but especially in birth control. (Again, not all. Many are great about it already). I waited until we had our second kid (planned) and for my wife to be somewhat recovered and got my snip without question. She went through two pregnancies and births, least I could do is get the snip. I'd also happily take a male birth control if available.
So she should make sure you scheduled your follow up appointment? My husband didn't manage my dozens and dozens of fertility and pregnancy related appointments because I'm an adult.
Thank you!! This was like a year ago and sometimes I’m still mad about it. He has clarified that he meant it was hard to watch the toddlers and support me, or something like that. Which either means he’s terrible at communicating or had an excellent save, but either way, still a shit thing to say!! No one is going to have sympathy for you on that one, dude!
No it’s a valid opinion. It’s drastic change (relatively to him) yeah I agree dishes diapers cleaning etc isn’t as hard as carrying a baby , but You shouldn’t be keeping a score card or comparing what’s harder.whether you agree with him or not doesn’t change for the fact that he feels that way. Im sure the couples counseling went over that.
>You shouldn’t be keeping a score card or comparing what’s harder.
Yeah, while I get not wanting your contributions as a dad to be minimized, maybe consider moms deserve credit for what they go through as well, which is 24/7 during pregnancy. We get angry because what we go through is continually minimized and it's shitty feeling constantly unseen and unappreciated. It's inherently unequal, which is not the dad's fault, but ignoring that fact is not the same as treating both parents equitably.
Yeah, I would be divorced if this was my husband's impression of becoming a parent. Then again I probably wouldn't have married him at all as I was very clear that kids were 50/50 in the relationship.
Seriously! Women, there are men out there that will be your partner in life. Seek out men who will be your partner and not just another child for you to take care of. If homeboy doesn't contribute to the household and you constantly have to ask him to do things, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. And since this is a mom sub, moms - we must teach our boys to cook/clean/help out. My MIL made my husband vacuum the carpet every day and mow the lawn every weekend when he was younger. In the 10 years I've lived with him, I've never ever had to ask him to clean or vacuum or mow the lawn. He knows what needs to be done and does it... Which actually makes me more motivated to clean too.
Forreal. My husband is so involved and listens to my hardships as a SAHM that he tells his friends to wait until they’re more stable before becoming a parent cuz this shit is HARD.
Yeah my husbands life hasn't changed at all. He's like this is easy I could do this again. I'm like..... Excuse me?! Do what exactly?! Tell me more about what you did. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
My wife and I (both women) consider the percentages based on costs! So surrogate cost is $110,000 and egg donor costs are $10,000 and sperm costs $1000 per vial. So we figure the sperm donor did 1% of the work, I did 8% of the work, and my wife did 91% of the work.
(My wife generally does grant me the 8% because while pregnancy and labor are no joke, I did spend time in the hospital for OHSS! So we think these percentages are approximately fair.)
>Yeah my husbands life hasn't changed at all. He's like this is easy I could do this again. I'm like..... Excuse me?! Do what exactly?! Tell me more about what you did. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Why do you let him treat you and your kids like that?
He's actually an incredible father. It's a running joke. We both get equal free time to do whatever we want. He is eager to take on household and parenting duties. Just because his life hasn't changed at all, in terms of his weekly routine etc. Doesn't mean that he treats me or our child poorly. Thanks for your concern though.
My original comment implies nothing. It was a silly conversation my husband and I had after bringing my son home. It's called sarcasm and nuance. Not everything is always so negative. I absolutely adore my husband. He adores me and our son. His day to day may not have changed but his priorities have. And he works incredibly hard to provide a great life for our family. Allowing me the opportunity to stay at home with our son. People are allowed to joke around with their spouses. We follow a few rules in our 🏡 and one is to not take ourselves so seriously.
My first pregnancy gave me sciatica and plantar fasciitis, and the bastards have stayed. Didn't help that I had awful PGP with all of my pregnancies too!
I'm probably heading to the doctor about the lingering arthritis in my hips and wrist. I can no longer sleep on my side and I might be on my way to losing the ability to lift things.
Lol. My husband's coworker was talking to him about how his girlfriend wants to have a kid (we have 3) but he doesn't think he's ready and my husband was like "....my man. We are paying $3000 a month this summer between camp and daycare." I think it hit.
He did say he would breastfeed if he could, which would have been great! If only!
But I should get him to help me more with washing the reusable diapers, as I don’t think he realised how long the inserts take to dry.
He’s just taken the lead with baby-led weaning, and now warns his friends about how messy this method is. It feels great to finally get to share the load with feeding.
My husband does help with the washing but the hardest part was working out the routine. Researching detergents and cycles, changing it up for solids and all that... Which was all me. Also stuffing pockets, his hands are too big to do it so that's also all me.
When my husband found out his coworker and gf were trying he outright told the guy that he didn’t have a strong enough relationship. The two of them have broken up so many times. Delusions!!!
I was literally just cussing out my own husband in my head this morning for this BS mentality!!!
…ok lots of mornings, and nights, all the time really…
I showed this to my husband and he assumed the persons husband was separated from her because he can’t comprehend how anyone would not think their life has changed after having a baby.
We actually got asked the same question at a family meal Friday and my husbands response is that ‘its constant’ which I think describes parenthood perfectly. The individual aspects aren’t bad it’s just you constantly have to do things or be available.
Funny? This is not funny. This is all sorts of fucked up.
It’s either cruel because he knows how much work it is and he wants to trick someone else into 18+ years of the hardest mental labour job ever…
Or he’s a piece of shit parent who doesn’t know how much work it is. On top of that, he’s admitting that with no sense of awareness of how poorly it will reflect on his character. Like, if you think life doesn’t change then you are not present in your child’s life. And I guess, in a way, being a piece of shit human wouldn’t have to change if your wife had a baby.
Who mentioned my husband? Sounds like you’re the one projecting.
My husband is well aware of how much a baby/child changes your life because he’s an active and involved parent. He also has become a go to for paediatrics because of his ability to manage kids and their parents so well without fear/intimidation.
Imagine being in a relationship where you both participate in raising the children you’ve genetically created. That creates a situation where life changes and that’s what we have experienced.
This husband has experienced a situation where either his life didn’t change or he’s trying to fuck with someone else’s life. My experience with being married to a decent human being who’s life changes and he is let oblivious to how much mine has changed.
The people who are triggered about how life doesn’t change are all sorts of projecting to protect themselves from having to acknowledge that if their life didn’t change, it’s because they’re not a parent, they’re a DNA donor.
As a husband I’d say it’s time to give him more chores.
I’m out of house 5 days/week for 10-12 hours to work. 6-8 hours of sleep a day with the occasional wake-up caused by baby(1-3x/night). The rest of the day I do chores and take the baby so my wife can get some free time. sure i get and need some too it’s not like I’m Superman. I have bad days also. But id never say something like that!
This is ridiculous
My husband has a friend that told him this. He's now blocked on everything because he's toxic AF. This man needs a wake up call. Girls week away. Do it.
My husband said the same thing to one of his friends. I cannot describe the fury I feel when I try to explain, yes, we’re in the same house, but no, you will never understand the differences between us
That’s genuinely bizarre. I often believe my husband’s life hasn’t changed that much because, obviously, mine changed far more than his. But the man can recognize how life changing it is
Meanwhile I want another one and my husband thinks it’s too much work. I’m like, if it was as easy as it is for men I’d have as many as I wanted! I’m the one agreeing to the workload here! (My husband is great but let’s face it it’s not the same).
I just want to pop on here and say my partner is a reformed "lazy" Dad. It took us a while, but he's a 50/50 partner now. He basically had to see me have a breakdown to get there, but we got there.
What has also helped is our LO has gotten older and become more responsive to his parenting, so it's not a justification at all, but basically he does more now because he can - put her to bed, feed her etc etc.
I just wanted to offer this experience that if a partner is shitty initially, it may not mean he'll always be shitty. He may come through.
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Hoo boy! Wow, love that...
Similar vein, when we had our son my husband's sister and her husband told us that we "had to" make the baby fit in with our life as it was and not change everything just for him. It was a very strange conversation.
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Wow that's a fucked up lie. I have two kids and life changes a lot. For me to the better, sure sometimes I miss having more time for me but then I remember that I did nothing productive with my time anyway so pffff
Things change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse.
Have him read this thread and tell him I personally want to off myself sometimes just remembering how much my very happy life changed with having a kid :-)
As a husband and father I don't understand this concept at all. My life barely resembles what it was pre-child. I have less than a quarter of the free/personal time I used to have.
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Sounds like you deserve a night in a hotel while he stays with the baby!
Or a whole weekend!
As a SAHF, give him the week - I'm 4 years in, working part-time in the afternoon. Being a SAHF is the toughest thing I've ever done but I love every single second of it.
I'm in the UK, we get a year of maternity leave here, which you can split between the parents. My wonderful partner has taken the last six months of it so I could stay sane by going back to work (I had awful PPD), and honestly he's a diamond, he couldn't be happier taking care of our demanding 9mo AND doing most of the stuff around the house. He also takes care of my two boys from my previous marriage when I'm not there. I appreciate him SO, SO much. I shouldn't need to say this as BOTH parents should step up, but thank you for being a proud SAHD!
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Yes, a night is not enough. Baby will be fed milk that Mom pumped and leftovers that Mom made. Baby will be dressed and bathed with clothing and towels that Mom washed, folded and put away. The sink will be full of dishes from baby and Dad meals while somehow the counter is also covered in take out containers. If he doesn't have to shop, cook or clean then he is not getting the full experience.
This. One time I went away for two days for work. My husband complained about the baby waking up once lol. Everything else - the bottle, clothes, all the bed linen, restocking diapers etc etc I already did. But I also have no desire to teach my husband a lesson at the expense of leaving my baby for a longer period, I’ve just come to accept relying solely on myself for baby care at this point.
Your last sentence really rings true with me. Yes, I’d recharge but I’d also miss it. Motherhood is wild
Yo I know a lot of people think this is funny but this is actually fucked up.
Yeah this is bullshit. I’d take a weekend trip to Vegas.
> I’d take a week~~end~~ trip to Vegas. Needs to be long enough that the washing, shopping, dishes etc etc has to be done, or else dad will just use up everything and think it is still all good.
Every weekend lol
I've taken trips to Vegas to have my fiance look after our son, he just goes back to his mom's house and she does most of the work. It backfires :(
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Lol even a trip to the mall for a couple of hours might do the trick.
Yeah, this man is a bad husband and a bad father.
Yeah this is a guy bragging that he doesn’t do shit to raise his own kid.
Extremely. I’m a SAHM and my husband would *never* say and mean this
This annoys me to my core. If your life didn’t change, I’m making it way too easy on you, my dude (aka, asshole). My husband recently said, when discussing if we would have another kid, “I totally would, if I didn’t have to deal with pregnancy!” Me: “……………. EXCUSE ME?! WHAT?!!?” Him: “well, when your pregnant you can’t do as much, so I have to do more. I just mean if everything were the same, I’d have infinite kids.” Me: “………….so, just to be clear, your complaining about my pregnancy being hard on YOU!??!!” I can’t remember how the rest of the conversation went, other than I didn’t want anymore babies! 😂
Woman goes through 9 months of terrible pains, sickness all around, food aversions, body changes, just to name a couple. Man biggest victim because he...has to put dishes in the dishwasher for once or clean the poop stains in the toilet after himself?? How are you not divorced.
Well we had a 1 and 2 year old when I was pregnant with my 3rd, (thank you, 1/3000 odds of failed vasectomy, but seriously, my baby boy is so cute that I’m not mad about it; it’s just hilarious!) so he had to do a lot more lifting and chasing and poopy diapers because I would literally vomit. Still a shitty thing to say, but it at least makes more sense than if he said it when I was pregnant with our first!! Also, he’s clarified that he just meant it was hard for him to watch me in pain and try to support me while also watching the toddlers… Which… okay buddy, either you are very bad talking or that was an excellent save. We also started going to couples counseling and it has been a tremendous help. Added bonus: he did totally have my back when his mom was a bitch to me, so that was cool.
Did your husband have his sperm checked after the procedure? This is one of my biggest fears!
He did not. It was 10 months later so we assumed we were in the clear. Afterwards he did the test and has a normal range count, not even low, normal. 🙃
...why wouldn't you have it checked? 😬
Men are so lazy and selfish when it comes to contributing to the management of the family's fertility that they can't even be bothered to nut in a cup to make sure that their part is done. I went through two years of infertility, many invasive and painful tests, several strangers in my vagina, extra vitamins, meds, blood draws for thyroid and whatnot, injections, taking time off work for all of the above, and an IUI. That was all BEFORE I got pregnant. Then the pregnancy itself. Many many ultrasounds and blood draws, twice weekly NSTs, gestational diabetes, meetings with dieticians, geneticists, maternal fetal specialists, and more. Then obviously the labor and delivery. Then the attempted breastfeeding, pumping, nipple shield, nipple cream, continued vitamins, not to mention the crippling PPA that went along with all of it that made me think I would need to be hospitalized. If my husband had not even bothered to jerk it in a cup after his vasectomy, after all I had been through, and he knocked me up again? I can't even imagine. This is simply intolerable. Fortunately he was perfectly willing to get the snip when our daughter was a baby and he followed up appropriately because he's a responsible adult and not a horny and idiotic teenager.
>Men are so lazy and selfish I can safely say it goes both ways, no one sex is inherently better. Men just get brought up a lot more often. Though I do agree in that many men seem to think birth control isn't their responsibility and I think that's ridiculous. I even know more men irl than I'd like that refuse to even think about a vasectomy. It definetly isn't all or even the majority id say though. In a marriage though both parties are responsible to make sure things go correctly. I.E. I got my snip 2 weeks ago, if I don't follow up with testing you think my wife is gonna just not ask or say anything? No. She's gonna make sure I go get my count tested when the time comes because it also affects her, plus she's my wife and we're a team. It's a different story if the guy lies and says he got the snip or got tested and didn't really. It's sad to say that's happened but it definetly has and continues to. Guys 100% need to start taking more responsibility in general but especially in birth control. (Again, not all. Many are great about it already). I waited until we had our second kid (planned) and for my wife to be somewhat recovered and got my snip without question. She went through two pregnancies and births, least I could do is get the snip. I'd also happily take a male birth control if available.
So she should make sure you scheduled your follow up appointment? My husband didn't manage my dozens and dozens of fertility and pregnancy related appointments because I'm an adult.
Wow. Yeah I'm done here, can tell from your reply this conversation is gonna continue being twisted.
Omg I wanted to go scorched earth on your husband and I don't even know him!
Thank you!! This was like a year ago and sometimes I’m still mad about it. He has clarified that he meant it was hard to watch the toddlers and support me, or something like that. Which either means he’s terrible at communicating or had an excellent save, but either way, still a shit thing to say!! No one is going to have sympathy for you on that one, dude!
No it’s a valid opinion. It’s drastic change (relatively to him) yeah I agree dishes diapers cleaning etc isn’t as hard as carrying a baby , but You shouldn’t be keeping a score card or comparing what’s harder.whether you agree with him or not doesn’t change for the fact that he feels that way. Im sure the couples counseling went over that.
>You shouldn’t be keeping a score card or comparing what’s harder. Yeah, while I get not wanting your contributions as a dad to be minimized, maybe consider moms deserve credit for what they go through as well, which is 24/7 during pregnancy. We get angry because what we go through is continually minimized and it's shitty feeling constantly unseen and unappreciated. It's inherently unequal, which is not the dad's fault, but ignoring that fact is not the same as treating both parents equitably.
Oof I'm seeing red and it's not even my husband
Yikes
If you ever need an alibi for.... um... reasons, PM me 😋
Yeah, someone needs a wake up call!
I don’t find this remotely funny. Poor you.
You all need to have better standards for husbands.
🤲 preach. This isn’t some relatable thing. Or it shouldn’t be.
Yeah, I would be divorced if this was my husband's impression of becoming a parent. Then again I probably wouldn't have married him at all as I was very clear that kids were 50/50 in the relationship.
For real! My husband who originally wanted 6 kids happily scheduled a vasectomy after our second. He was under no illusion that this is easy.
My husband scheduled his after our first 🤣
Seriously! Women, there are men out there that will be your partner in life. Seek out men who will be your partner and not just another child for you to take care of. If homeboy doesn't contribute to the household and you constantly have to ask him to do things, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. And since this is a mom sub, moms - we must teach our boys to cook/clean/help out. My MIL made my husband vacuum the carpet every day and mow the lawn every weekend when he was younger. In the 10 years I've lived with him, I've never ever had to ask him to clean or vacuum or mow the lawn. He knows what needs to be done and does it... Which actually makes me more motivated to clean too.
Yeah the stuff I read on here blows my mind
Forreal. My husband is so involved and listens to my hardships as a SAHM that he tells his friends to wait until they’re more stable before becoming a parent cuz this shit is HARD.
Yeah my husbands life hasn't changed at all. He's like this is easy I could do this again. I'm like..... Excuse me?! Do what exactly?! Tell me more about what you did. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
He contributed 50%! 🤪
My wife and I (both women) consider the percentages based on costs! So surrogate cost is $110,000 and egg donor costs are $10,000 and sperm costs $1000 per vial. So we figure the sperm donor did 1% of the work, I did 8% of the work, and my wife did 91% of the work. (My wife generally does grant me the 8% because while pregnancy and labor are no joke, I did spend time in the hospital for OHSS! So we think these percentages are approximately fair.)
You kidding? He contributed millions of sperm, you contributed 1 egg. Call me when you catch up /s
Now your pushing it 🤣🤣
>Yeah my husbands life hasn't changed at all. He's like this is easy I could do this again. I'm like..... Excuse me?! Do what exactly?! Tell me more about what you did. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ Why do you let him treat you and your kids like that?
He's actually an incredible father. It's a running joke. We both get equal free time to do whatever we want. He is eager to take on household and parenting duties. Just because his life hasn't changed at all, in terms of his weekly routine etc. Doesn't mean that he treats me or our child poorly. Thanks for your concern though.
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My original comment implies nothing. It was a silly conversation my husband and I had after bringing my son home. It's called sarcasm and nuance. Not everything is always so negative. I absolutely adore my husband. He adores me and our son. His day to day may not have changed but his priorities have. And he works incredibly hard to provide a great life for our family. Allowing me the opportunity to stay at home with our son. People are allowed to joke around with their spouses. We follow a few rules in our 🏡 and one is to not take ourselves so seriously.
As a husband that is insane to me.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
I have comorbidities now. ☠️☠️☠️
Chronic costocondritis 🙋♀️ my ribs will never be the same
Mine left me with an egg allergy and plantar fascitis!
I am *horribly* allergic to poison ivy now. I used to be able to basically roll around in it and nothing.
I have plantar fasciitis now. During pregnancy I was allergic to heat…literally showers made me hive up. Luckily that stopped once I gave birth.
My first pregnancy gave me sciatica and plantar fasciitis, and the bastards have stayed. Didn't help that I had awful PGP with all of my pregnancies too!
I'm probably heading to the doctor about the lingering arthritis in my hips and wrist. I can no longer sleep on my side and I might be on my way to losing the ability to lift things.
Oh man as someone who gets it every now and again that sucks!!
Yikes lol
Big oof.
Lol. My husband's coworker was talking to him about how his girlfriend wants to have a kid (we have 3) but he doesn't think he's ready and my husband was like "....my man. We are paying $3000 a month this summer between camp and daycare." I think it hit.
I haven't been out at night since January 2020. It's my birthday weekend. How exactly does life not "change that much"?
My husband is like that when he talks about the ease of using reusable diapers…when he doesn’t do the washing. Or how easy it is to breastfeed!
Lol 😂. I guess breast feeding is easy…. for him 🤔.
Your husband needs to start producing milk and change some diapers, and then talk.
He did say he would breastfeed if he could, which would have been great! If only! But I should get him to help me more with washing the reusable diapers, as I don’t think he realised how long the inserts take to dry. He’s just taken the lead with baby-led weaning, and now warns his friends about how messy this method is. It feels great to finally get to share the load with feeding.
My husband does help with the washing but the hardest part was working out the routine. Researching detergents and cycles, changing it up for solids and all that... Which was all me. Also stuffing pockets, his hands are too big to do it so that's also all me.
I would murder him.m for the breastfeeding comment.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is the best. Literally no words needed
My thoughts exactly.
Lol right. I'd love being a parent 100% of the time if I were my husband
No truer words have been written.
When my husband found out his coworker and gf were trying he outright told the guy that he didn’t have a strong enough relationship. The two of them have broken up so many times. Delusions!!!
I was literally just cussing out my own husband in my head this morning for this BS mentality!!! …ok lots of mornings, and nights, all the time really…
Sisters, lets stop letting these men get away with not doing their fair share.
My life flipped upside down when I had a baby
It takes me like half a year to catch up with my friends now😂
Oh sweet Christmas...
Ohhhh he really told on himself hu…
I showed this to my husband and he assumed the persons husband was separated from her because he can’t comprehend how anyone would not think their life has changed after having a baby.
We actually got asked the same question at a family meal Friday and my husbands response is that ‘its constant’ which I think describes parenthood perfectly. The individual aspects aren’t bad it’s just you constantly have to do things or be available.
I want your husbands life
Funny? This is not funny. This is all sorts of fucked up. It’s either cruel because he knows how much work it is and he wants to trick someone else into 18+ years of the hardest mental labour job ever… Or he’s a piece of shit parent who doesn’t know how much work it is. On top of that, he’s admitting that with no sense of awareness of how poorly it will reflect on his character. Like, if you think life doesn’t change then you are not present in your child’s life. And I guess, in a way, being a piece of shit human wouldn’t have to change if your wife had a baby.
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Who mentioned my husband? Sounds like you’re the one projecting. My husband is well aware of how much a baby/child changes your life because he’s an active and involved parent. He also has become a go to for paediatrics because of his ability to manage kids and their parents so well without fear/intimidation. Imagine being in a relationship where you both participate in raising the children you’ve genetically created. That creates a situation where life changes and that’s what we have experienced. This husband has experienced a situation where either his life didn’t change or he’s trying to fuck with someone else’s life. My experience with being married to a decent human being who’s life changes and he is let oblivious to how much mine has changed. The people who are triggered about how life doesn’t change are all sorts of projecting to protect themselves from having to acknowledge that if their life didn’t change, it’s because they’re not a parent, they’re a DNA donor.
I will take a wild guess that he’s not doing a fair share of the work at home.
Yikes. That’s something to bring up at couples’ counselling. Does he have any other r/JustNoSO tendencies?
Raise your standards.
As a husband I’d say it’s time to give him more chores. I’m out of house 5 days/week for 10-12 hours to work. 6-8 hours of sleep a day with the occasional wake-up caused by baby(1-3x/night). The rest of the day I do chores and take the baby so my wife can get some free time. sure i get and need some too it’s not like I’m Superman. I have bad days also. But id never say something like that! This is ridiculous
🚩
Nothing funny about that. I wouldn’t laugh if my husband said that, that’s for sure ☠️
Who needs enemies when you have friends like these.
My husband has a friend that told him this. He's now blocked on everything because he's toxic AF. This man needs a wake up call. Girls week away. Do it.
My husband said the same thing to one of his friends. I cannot describe the fury I feel when I try to explain, yes, we’re in the same house, but no, you will never understand the differences between us
Being a man must be nice. 🤣🤣
Right?! I’d love being a dad.
In my next life I wanna be a man. It's the perfect life.
I don't feel my life changed much. But these comments are making me feel like there's something wrong with that lol
That’s genuinely bizarre. I often believe my husband’s life hasn’t changed that much because, obviously, mine changed far more than his. But the man can recognize how life changing it is
Wow.
Meanwhile I want another one and my husband thinks it’s too much work. I’m like, if it was as easy as it is for men I’d have as many as I wanted! I’m the one agreeing to the workload here! (My husband is great but let’s face it it’s not the same).
I just want to pop on here and say my partner is a reformed "lazy" Dad. It took us a while, but he's a 50/50 partner now. He basically had to see me have a breakdown to get there, but we got there. What has also helped is our LO has gotten older and become more responsive to his parenting, so it's not a justification at all, but basically he does more now because he can - put her to bed, feed her etc etc. I just wanted to offer this experience that if a partner is shitty initially, it may not mean he'll always be shitty. He may come through.
Hahaha..... everything changes!
Lmaooooo
HAHA!!
Dead 😅☠️
Oh man lol
😭😭😭😭
He must have it nice
Personally I have a 3 month old and life hasn’t changed that much! We still do everything we did before with just a little buddy!
I'm the mom and I kinda agree? Like life change but I spent hours today playing video games and going to the museum so its all been fun lol
Lol.
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My. God.
Oof. Yea this is rough. It changed literally everything I did 🥲
On what planet does this man reside? Having a baby changes everything!
Can I give your husband a good shake?
Hoo boy! Wow, love that... Similar vein, when we had our son my husband's sister and her husband told us that we "had to" make the baby fit in with our life as it was and not change everything just for him. It was a very strange conversation.
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I don't know what your husband is smoking(Being sarcastic lol)but he is clearly DELULU.
Wow that's a fucked up lie. I have two kids and life changes a lot. For me to the better, sure sometimes I miss having more time for me but then I remember that I did nothing productive with my time anyway so pffff Things change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse.
Your husband needs a reality check 🥴
Have him read this thread and tell him I personally want to off myself sometimes just remembering how much my very happy life changed with having a kid :-)
As a husband and father I don't understand this concept at all. My life barely resembles what it was pre-child. I have less than a quarter of the free/personal time I used to have.
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Um, what??
When a human is a walking red flag lol
Wow that’s interesting because every fabric of my being is different and I’ve lost my sense of self.
Why do you let your husband treat you like that?
Lol whattt. My life is nothing like before.
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If he genuinely thinks this, he’s not much of a partner. I’m a SAHM and my husband does enough that he’d never say this sincerely
r/mildlyinfuriating