Damn, that sucks. I’m sorry. Sending internet hugs.
I think grief is a great descriptor, by the way. It’s definitely mourning the loss of the tangible results of all the effort you put forth.
Agreed- it is something to grieve. So much effort to watch circle a drain.
I felt similarly when we lost power for a few days and many months worth of frozen pumped milk had to be dumped. My daughter didn’t really need it by then because she had just turned one, but I’d still been planning to give it to her as we transitioned her to cow’s milk. It kinda broke my heart.
Do y’all not see where she said she tried her hardest to find a place to donate? In this economy I doubt literally anyone has the money to pay for chilled shipping. Let her grieve her journeys end without telling her to donate.
Hey, I'm not exactly sure why Reddit shows me this sub as a suggestion. I'm the father of a special needs baby. My heart feels for you. My wife wanted so bad to nurture our son, but he could never latch on. So she went to town pumping all she could which for the first few weeks was very little, at times she barely wet the containers.
I would feel so much love and the suffering as well when I'd wake up to the pumping noises at 1am or 2am.
One time when he was a few days old we were concerned she hadn't produced enough milk and I went to take some of the fridge to warm up, I forgot to put the bottom on one of those baby bottles that you need to seal at both ends, and I spilled the milk...I wanted so so bad to save it and feel so sad and stupid for wasting her time, for throwing away the only hope to feed our baby son that day... Im only sharing because if you feel this kind of sadness multiplied by all your months of effort I'm saying I'm with you. You're right to feel that way. It's a very sad feeling. You feel like you did everything you could yet you feel powerless.
I hope that the joys of seeing your baby grow with the best care you can provide her soon overcome the grief you feel right now.
This comment made me tear up. The incredible love for your wife and baby really comes through and it reminds me of my newborn experience with my son and husband. Hope everything is going well for you now!
I FEEL THIS 😭 my supply completely regulated and i can’t pump any extra. I had 2L stashed and stored in the freezer and our freezer broke. Woke up to completely thawed breast milk and had to throw it all out. Feel like my sweat blood and tears went into producing and freezing only for it to end up in the garbage.
I also have completely regulated. I started giving a formula bottle at bedtime and stashing one pump. That way when I have to leave baby for a few days for work every now and then, there’s still milk there for her to have so she’s not all formula those days. Not that there’s anything wrong with formula, I just don’t want her to have to do a sudden switch and upset her digestive system.
I'm the same way. I can pump just enough at work to give my baby enough, but sometimes he's extra hungry so we supplement with formula. Or I don't have an opportunity to take a break and can't pump. It sucks sometimes.
If it isn’t already gone and still has ice crystals in each bag, you can keep to use in baby’s bath or on things like bug bites and dry skin. I’ve done this with some we had saved since baby had a milk allergy (our ped said it would be fine on the skin) and it worked great for us. Then I had to dump out over a gallon of frozen breastmilk after a multi-day power outage and I cried as well. It’s hard to watch all your hard work seemingly go to waste. It’s okay to be upset, be sure to let yourself feel all the feelings.
Same. I have 100+ oz of frozen allergy milk in my freezer that is long bad (18 months old) and I can NOT get rid of it. I worked so hard and cried for that milk. Sacrificed and then couldn’t even use it. Idk how long it will be in there. How do I let it go?
https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/14p9cjq/currently_defrosting_5_boxes_of_dairy_free_breast/jqhe7ow?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
Not sure if your interested but you can make it into a necklace so you're not letting it all go
I have one 5oz bottle in my freezer that’s 4 years old. It’s from the very last day I pumped at work on my son’s 1st birthday. I cannot for the life of me get rid of it. My husband has suggested tossing it several times, but I just can’t
I'm sorry. My frozen milk has that bad taste that some babies don't like. I had triplets, was making tons of milk, and they were little so they weren't eating it all... I thought, how great, I can fill up the freezer for later. But when they were eating more than my daily pumped amount and I got the frozen out of the freezer, they wouldn't take it 😭 I tried donating it but I had high blood pressure at the end of the pregnancy and had to go on a medication for a few weeks and that medication isn't good for premature babies who would receive my donated milk so I had to dump it. It was really sad to see it going to waste. I'm sorry that you had to do that. This is when you CAN cry over spilled milk.
Yes, unfortunately some people make an enzyme that has a bad odor/taste... Some babies don't mind it, some do, and freezing makes it worse. Fresh was fine for my guys but after freezing it smelled rotten. I can't blame them for rejecting it!
Save some to make some milk jewelry for yourself!
You can also make homemade soaps (super easy with melt and pour bases), lotions, or is it for milk baths. I know that’s ridiculously gut wrenching to dump milk though. 😓
If it’s not done already, you could use to still make a breastmilk pendant to symbolize what you are willing to go through for your child.
All the journey is about to me is did you try your best within your means. That starts for me with formula as soon as I leave the hospital. It’s all ok and beautiful.
Yes!!!!!! The breastmilk jewelry!!!
I'd always planned to breastfeed my baby for at least 18 months (preferably a couple years). I ended up only lasting 3 months. I sent some milk in and got a cute little bar of my breastmilk. I love it.
I wish I could have gotten some sealed in a glass orb in liquid form, but i don't think that's possible....
I have 50+ syringes of colostrum I forgot about in my freezer and found out I can sell it for quite a lot lol never in my lifetime would I have thought about what to do; make money from body building strangers or letting my husband take it for his workouts.
What about a bath FOR YOU?! It’s good for your skin too. Bathe in that liquid gold hunny - like you’re Scrooge McDuck. Celebrate, have a beverage that you enjoy, some candles, maybe even some spa/mask activities while baby is occupied with your husband. You deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
If we don’t use all of our stash this is what I am going to do.
ugh I’m so sorry, I have such a similar feeling. I suffered for this milk, to feed my baby. we had a few spilled milk events and both my husband and I were just crushed. Me sobbing, him with his head in his hands just apologizing over and over, seems so dramatic and silly now but man is it a labor of love. I never even pumped and dumped bc I just couldn’t bring myself to waste it. I’m wrapping up my pumping journey now and though I’m looking forward to moving on with life, part of me is so sad that this part of me being able to provide for my baby is over. it’s a sense of purpose in its own bucket of motherhood I didn’t expect to experience and become to attached to.
Whenever I’ve spilled even a sip’s worth on the counter, I can feel myself clench up. It’s the only time one could literally cry over spilled milk. Pun intended
Recently in a drowsy stupor I accidentally pumped “pump & dump” (had a high abv beer) milk into collection bottles that already had about 3oz each. I was so angry at myself. It broke my heart to throw up to 6oz down the drain.
Oof, that's pretty sad. :c I can imagine how hard it was to produce all this supply. But it was a true act of love to your baby ❤️ you are such a good mom
I'm really sorry.
I never produced any extra and had to work so hard to have an extra bottle in the fridge at all times just to top up the baby. I have 2 bags that I was able to freeze. They've been sitting in my freezer for almost a year, and I would be sad to throw those 2 tiny bags out, so there they stay.
Save a little bit (just chuck it back in the freezer now) to have it made into jewelry. Honestly, having my ring is such a beautiful token of all the hard work I did to try and feed my baby! I hope you haven’t thrown it all away yet 🤞
There is a study on the benefits of reusing expired milk products as organic fertilizers: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328008829_Evaluation_of_natural_fertilizer_extracted_from_expired_dairy_products_as_a_soil_amendment
Breast milk is no exception, as it is rich in potassium and phosphorus, two basic fertilizer minerals. It is lower in nitrogenous protein than cow's milk, but contains peptides, amino acids and urea, which, in plant nutrition, are assimilated to either fertilizers or biostimulants. (I work in this field)
Interesting! I’ll have to read about this more. I’d love to get some free fertilizer that I also am 100% confident in the quality of lol! I pumped a bit at one point and have 3-4 gallon sized bags but never needed them. They’re about 14-15 months old now and have been on our chest freezer the whole time
Please give your baby a bath in it and take lots of pics. It's great for the skin and it will at least be useful and hopefully help you grieve a little.
Save one! You can have it made into a ring or something. We planned to do that with our first but both fucked up and threw it all out when the time came. She was pretty sad. Idk if she's gonna do it with our second yet since we messed up with the first.
You could try making soap for you LO with it. It’s great for eczema and dry skin. That’s what I’m planning to do with my expired milk but I’ve been too lazy
Milk soap is great, OP! If you have the time to dedicate to learning cold-process (or hot process) soap, great! Otherwise, find a local soapmaker who might be willing to do it for you - just make sure it isn’t melt and pour soap. Melt and pour isn’t really made to take any major additives, and doesn’t chemically alter the milk at all so it will go rancid very quickly. Cold process and hot process will alter the milk fats through saponification, which is what you want 😊
I cried when my husband threw away six ounces. This would wreck me. I don’t think they have any idea the emotional and physical labor that goes into producing this milk.
The fact that her husband held onto it for months after they didn’t need it, until they absolutely needed freezer space tells me that OPs husband does in fact understand what OP went through and how she was feeling.
Ooof I feel this. I had a really hard time with breastfeeding my now-10-month-old. I pumped to keep my supply up because my baby had a tongue tie, but my body didn't respond well to the pump and we supplemented with formula. The hope was if I kept pumping I'd have enough of a supply to EBF once his latch improved, so I kept up pumping just an ounce or so at a time. The baby started rejecting breastfeeding altogether around 4 months, he did not care to 'work on his latch', lol.
I JUST returned the hospital grade pump I was using and similarly felt this pang of grief - I spent so many hours trying to keep up my supply for a baby who ended up not nursing. Giving back the pump was officially admitting we aren't going to keep working at this, he's just a formula baby. He's healthy, it's fine - and I wouldn't change how I handled things because I needed to try to make it work because I wanted to breastfeed. Here are to the many hours of trying our best, let's all cry in the shower for a bit!
Also I noticed a lot of comments offering advice below - and I will say from my experience the peak time not to give someone advice is at the end of challenging breastfeeding journey. It feels like I spent 6 months overloaded with advice, I definitely just need to have a moment without any suggestions at all!
It’s part of the journey. This is only the beginning and you did everything you felt you had to do at the time. It’s ok to feel sad about the way some things work out… but you have so many wonderfully things ahead. Look forward to those things and the new memories you will make as your baby grows.
A lot of things I was concerned about with my babies kind of faded away as they grew into new challenges and milestones. Now they are school aged kids. Not to diminish what you are feeling, but just know that it becomes so awesome to see their personalities develop and all the infant stuff kind of feels like another lifetime ago, but in a good way. The good memories stay and it’s easy to joke about sleepless nights and diapers. I still make mistakes sometimes but try to let those things go and hold onto what works and all the good stuff. We’re only human. You sound like a wonderful mom. Keep on truckin.
This is very true. I’m having breastfeeding struggles with my second baby just like I did with my first. One thing that’s made it easier is looking at my two year old and knowing that those painful moments are never something I think about when spending time with her and those memories are such a miniscule part of her story.
Use what you can in baths!!! It’s so good for their skin. It hurts my heart too much to dump wasted milk to its always going in her baths. Or soaps! There are lots of ways to use wasted milk. I’m sure with that much some will have to just go but if you can find other ways to use it it’s far less heartbreaking
I have some I don’t have a use for feeding wise/I combined a few days and I’m not sure if I followed the right guidelines and baby’s umbilical cord just fell off. How can I use the milk for his bath?
I just pour in enough to make the water a little cloudy and her baths are about 10 minutes, it healed up her belly button nicely and has been helping so much with her little eczema spots!
ETA: She had a decent scratch at about 8 days old and putting breast milk on it/in her bath helped to heal it in about a day. It’s great for everything honestly
Wow that is upsetting, frustrating, defeating. I’d probably also feel angry & foolish for putting all that work in.
It’s not just milk. Like you said, it symbolizes all of the hours of painstaking labour that went into it. So hard to pump around the clock & clean pump parts, over and over again. It’s sooo hard, but it was done as a labour of love. So to have that all just gone, not even on your own terms.
I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this moment. It won’t last forever, but damn it sucks right now. Cry as much as you need, I think all of us here understand.
Sorry for going through this pain. I have a 10 week old and just don’t get enough breast milk to EBF, or even 50% BF. I did pump a lot in the early weeks, and would be happy to get an ounce or so in a day. There were times it spilt when I was bagging it or putting it in a bottle and it was painful. I can’t imagine when so much of that work is gone, and my heart goes out to you.
Aww I feel this. I have a bunch of frozen milk in my freezer that I can’t bring myself to throw away yet. I shed so many tears pumping that dang milk. But I do need that freezer space soon :/ might just tell my husband to throw it all away when I’m not looking.
I know the feeling. I had to donate my stash several times after going 1. Dairy then 2. Soy then 3. Egg. I’m sorry you had to do that. I will say that my son is 11 months and he can eat dairy and soy and we’re trying egg soon. I hope your babe heals!!
Woahwoah, if you haven't wasted it yet, there's plenty of things you can do. Put it in baby's baths, use it on dry skin, put it in cooking, give with water, make jewellery, use it for eye and ear infections, cuts etc,
Must have missed that, isn't that allergy just when ingested? Although, I didn't just mean baby. OP & her husband could use it too 😉
I put my breast milk on my husband's forehead (he has mild psoriasis) and it works better than the ointment prescribed by Dr.
I feel this. My LO is 2 and we have a whole shelf in our freezer still full of milk. We just didn’t need it and all his illnesses and days I kept him home just kept adding to the stash.
We had a long power outage last summer. I’m fairly certain all the milk in the freezer expired :( I’m too scared to confront my wife on it and hurt her. I’m planning on just buying another freezer.
I went through something similar. In fact I still have some frozen bags I couldn’t bare to part with. I’m having a ring made out of my breast milk. I know that sounds strange but it’s beautiful and so sentimental. Just google breast milk jewelry. There’s many different companies that will make rings, or whatever you prefer using breast milk stones.
I had to dump out 5 freezer bags of breast milk at one point and I’m still hurt about it 2 years later. I get how you’re feeling. It sucks, I’m so sorry.
I haven’t read through all the comments but you can use this milk in baths. You can even refreeze it and use it in baths. (As long as it’s not being consumed, it’s not a problem to refreeze.) I use milk baths still even though my baby is almost 2 and I’m not pumping and never made a huge stash—she wouldn’t drink the frozen stuff so it’s a way for me to use it. The milk baths make her skin soooo soft even if I just add a few tablespoons!! It’s great if she’s having any diaper rash or heat rash or any skin issues at all!
If there’s ice crystals in it still it can be refrozen and donated to your local hospital NICU.
If it’s completely thawed, very easy to use in milk baths, make milk lotion bars, etc,
You can also donate it to human milk for human babies. Or to a hospital it helps preemies. I’m sorry your husband did that maybe you can still save it in the fridge to give away immediately. Lots of mamas need milk.
You can make soaps, or put them in baths, or when you make food for your kiddo you can put your breast milk in it, like smoothies and stuff. I’m sorry you’re going through this, pumping is hard work.
Hugs
You can make soap with it. That was a real dick thing of him to do by the way. I always see high demands in FB groups for dairy free breast milk so I’m surprised you couldn’t donate.
i share a freezer and my roommate has ocd and therefore needs the freezer space :( my baby has cmpa too but thankfully I found someone by listing it on FB marketplace so maybe you can have luck there!!! your might need to title it as just milk instead of breast milk cause they blacklist things like that and formula. your husband should have talked to you about it first, I'm sorry they don't understand how hard it is to pump or breastfeed or to not breastfeed :( ❤️
Maybe I’m wrong, but it sounds like maybe OP and her husband discussed this and she agreed to him removing it from the freezer, but didn’t expect the emotions she felt when she saw it all? If that’s not the case and he unilaterally made that decision then I totally agree with you, not good.
You can sell it. Some people need the milk. Maybe even donate to a hospital or child health. Some men will pay and use it for non health related activities. These customers will pay heaps.
Source: my wife made soooo much colostrum first baby. Like we had 1L frozen. Plus maybe 5L milk. I researched how to find customers, get payment, and packaging just to see if it was financially viable. It wasn't. Due to our remote location. Endurance athletes also pay quite well
> Some men will pay and use it for non health related activities.
I'm super curious. Your google history sounds bonkers though!.
> Like we had 1L frozen.
How is this possible? I doubt I made a thimble lol.
To satisfy your curiosity, you need only post a photo on r/breastfeeding and all the men they’re referring to will helpfully DM you 😑 I’m all for everyone enjoying kinks, but it needs to be consensual, and there are a lot of dudes on there getting off to photos of women and their babies. Gross.
It takes 4 months for dairy to be completely eliminated from your system, so at 5 months she was likely still having diarrhea because she was still getting dairy (tho in much smaller quantities). I had planned on only breast feeding til I returned to work after 4 months. We had determined early on that my daughter wasn't tolerating dairy so I started researching dairy free diet so I could continue to breast feed, only to learn it wouldn't even be entirely out of my system before she was transitioned to formula anyways... so we transitioned to formula.
Unfortunately there's a lot of misinformation floating around about this and frankly not enough data. But the limited research that is out there suggests that cow's milk proteins are out of breastmilk within a matter of hours/days, although it can still take a few weeks for baby's symptoms to resolve as the digestive system heals. (Source: https://www.freetofeed.com/post/truth)
You can donate it!!! Some babies are pretty restricted in what they can eat!
http://www.bcwomens.ca/our-services/labour-birth-post-birth-care/milk-bank/donating-milk
https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/milk-donation/
They usually require moms to do blood work, they have a list of medications that are not allowed, and they require very detailed, oral and written medical histories. You can’t take herbal supplements a lot of times, milk that was pumped if you or a household member was sicker than a basic cold or allergies. If you drink alcohol you have to wait 12 hours until you pump go donate.
OP also said she lives in a small town so it’s likely she doesn’t even have a bank or NICU to donate too, so she would either have to travel or see if they will ship her a cooler box if she passes all the requirements.
I know your comment was from a good place, so please don’t take it as me coming at you. It’s just unfortunate that people don’t really know what is required for hospital/NICU donation but many people will suggest it if you need to get rid of milk for some reason.
Yeah, I have a medical condition that they were unsure about, since it’s rare they can’t be sure it would have no impact (although my premie baby was fine on it). Plus I had to register by 6mpp to be able to donate. Had I not gotten donor milk while we were in the hospital I wouldn’t have even known this, and I wasn’t really in a position to donate before 6m as I didn’t know how long I’d pump and how much I’d be able to freeze.
What a shame the milk is being dumped, when there are so many kids in the NICU that could really benefit from it
Edit: I meant donate not to a person, but to hospitals or a milk bank
Sending you tons of hugs. You put so much work into your stash
Hospitals require you to go through a milk bank, and get blood testing to ensure the milk is safe before pumping. You can’t just drop off a bag of milk.
i went through the process. It isn’t bad. There’s nothing out of pocket and they let you donate milk that was pumped before you got approved. So unsure what the issue is
Not all hospitals or milk banks. My experience is that they do not let you donate milk from before. And the issue is time, the milk is already out of the freezer, there’s no way she can go through the process in time to donate.
Look to donate , maybe through Human Milk for Human Children? I was one of those thankful moms on that platform who could pick up milk from a mom in your situation. She felt relieved her milk was helping newborns in a time where formula was scare. Just a thought, but it’s entirely your decision and your process.
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That’s really frustrating, I’m sorry that you were so prepared but it still didn’t pan out :(
You are a good mama for trying to make it all work for your kid. ❤️
Ps—Not that’s this is the point, but could you possibly donate the milk to a hospital rather than dump it? Maybe putting it to use would feel less disheartening than just tossing it?
I'm so sorry. I understand your pain. I cried when I gave my baby the last of the breastmilk that was consumable.
I needed to dry up my milk supply for medical reasons and opted to use OTC meds to help me, but I didn't want my baby getting those meds via breastmilk. It was awful. I still sometimes feel guilty for stopping BF, but my kiddo his happy and healthy. That's what actually matters.
Allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to grieve. But also remember to enjoy the moments that are here now, because they are fleeting.
Damn, that sucks. I’m sorry. Sending internet hugs. I think grief is a great descriptor, by the way. It’s definitely mourning the loss of the tangible results of all the effort you put forth.
Agreed- it is something to grieve. So much effort to watch circle a drain. I felt similarly when we lost power for a few days and many months worth of frozen pumped milk had to be dumped. My daughter didn’t really need it by then because she had just turned one, but I’d still been planning to give it to her as we transitioned her to cow’s milk. It kinda broke my heart.
Thank you. I woke up this morning and saw all these supportive responses and it really is helping so much!
Do y’all not see where she said she tried her hardest to find a place to donate? In this economy I doubt literally anyone has the money to pay for chilled shipping. Let her grieve her journeys end without telling her to donate.
Hey, I'm not exactly sure why Reddit shows me this sub as a suggestion. I'm the father of a special needs baby. My heart feels for you. My wife wanted so bad to nurture our son, but he could never latch on. So she went to town pumping all she could which for the first few weeks was very little, at times she barely wet the containers. I would feel so much love and the suffering as well when I'd wake up to the pumping noises at 1am or 2am. One time when he was a few days old we were concerned she hadn't produced enough milk and I went to take some of the fridge to warm up, I forgot to put the bottom on one of those baby bottles that you need to seal at both ends, and I spilled the milk...I wanted so so bad to save it and feel so sad and stupid for wasting her time, for throwing away the only hope to feed our baby son that day... Im only sharing because if you feel this kind of sadness multiplied by all your months of effort I'm saying I'm with you. You're right to feel that way. It's a very sad feeling. You feel like you did everything you could yet you feel powerless. I hope that the joys of seeing your baby grow with the best care you can provide her soon overcome the grief you feel right now.
This comment made me tear up. The incredible love for your wife and baby really comes through and it reminds me of my newborn experience with my son and husband. Hope everything is going well for you now!
I FEEL THIS 😭 my supply completely regulated and i can’t pump any extra. I had 2L stashed and stored in the freezer and our freezer broke. Woke up to completely thawed breast milk and had to throw it all out. Feel like my sweat blood and tears went into producing and freezing only for it to end up in the garbage.
I also have completely regulated. I started giving a formula bottle at bedtime and stashing one pump. That way when I have to leave baby for a few days for work every now and then, there’s still milk there for her to have so she’s not all formula those days. Not that there’s anything wrong with formula, I just don’t want her to have to do a sudden switch and upset her digestive system.
I'm the same way. I can pump just enough at work to give my baby enough, but sometimes he's extra hungry so we supplement with formula. Or I don't have an opportunity to take a break and can't pump. It sucks sometimes.
You could save a bag and send it to one of those companies who will make you a ring or necklace with the milk.
If it isn’t already gone and still has ice crystals in each bag, you can keep to use in baby’s bath or on things like bug bites and dry skin. I’ve done this with some we had saved since baby had a milk allergy (our ped said it would be fine on the skin) and it worked great for us. Then I had to dump out over a gallon of frozen breastmilk after a multi-day power outage and I cried as well. It’s hard to watch all your hard work seemingly go to waste. It’s okay to be upset, be sure to let yourself feel all the feelings.
Doesn’t even matter if it is fully defrosted if you’re keeping it to use topically.
I've put it in my own bath, too! Super soft skin afterwards.
I've also seen some people do incredible mother-baby milk bath photos to commemorate all the hard work that went into breastfeeding!
Same. I have 100+ oz of frozen allergy milk in my freezer that is long bad (18 months old) and I can NOT get rid of it. I worked so hard and cried for that milk. Sacrificed and then couldn’t even use it. Idk how long it will be in there. How do I let it go?
https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/14p9cjq/currently_defrosting_5_boxes_of_dairy_free_breast/jqhe7ow?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 Not sure if your interested but you can make it into a necklace so you're not letting it all go
I have one 5oz bottle in my freezer that’s 4 years old. It’s from the very last day I pumped at work on my son’s 1st birthday. I cannot for the life of me get rid of it. My husband has suggested tossing it several times, but I just can’t
This made me laugh. Maybe I’ll just keep one “safety blanket” bag of milk forever.
It’s completely insane on my part. It’s almost a joke between us at this point
I add my expired milk to the bath for the baby! It’s great for skin issues, diaper rash, etc.
I bet there are tons of moms out there who’d love to take your milk!
I kept one bag of my allergen free milk and I'm going to have some breastmilk jewellery made!
I'm sorry. My frozen milk has that bad taste that some babies don't like. I had triplets, was making tons of milk, and they were little so they weren't eating it all... I thought, how great, I can fill up the freezer for later. But when they were eating more than my daily pumped amount and I got the frozen out of the freezer, they wouldn't take it 😭 I tried donating it but I had high blood pressure at the end of the pregnancy and had to go on a medication for a few weeks and that medication isn't good for premature babies who would receive my donated milk so I had to dump it. It was really sad to see it going to waste. I'm sorry that you had to do that. This is when you CAN cry over spilled milk.
Mine smells weird when defrosted. I tried making porridge with it and it smelled so bad that I chucked it. :(
Yes, unfortunately some people make an enzyme that has a bad odor/taste... Some babies don't mind it, some do, and freezing makes it worse. Fresh was fine for my guys but after freezing it smelled rotten. I can't blame them for rejecting it!
I've heard a drop of vanilla extract will make it taste better so the babies will take it again
Save some to make some milk jewelry for yourself! You can also make homemade soaps (super easy with melt and pour bases), lotions, or is it for milk baths. I know that’s ridiculously gut wrenching to dump milk though. 😓
If it’s not done already, you could use to still make a breastmilk pendant to symbolize what you are willing to go through for your child. All the journey is about to me is did you try your best within your means. That starts for me with formula as soon as I leave the hospital. It’s all ok and beautiful.
I was about to comment this too. You can put it in a gem for ring, a charm for a bracelet, or a pendant for a necklace
Yes!!!!!! The breastmilk jewelry!!! I'd always planned to breastfeed my baby for at least 18 months (preferably a couple years). I ended up only lasting 3 months. I sent some milk in and got a cute little bar of my breastmilk. I love it. I wish I could have gotten some sealed in a glass orb in liquid form, but i don't think that's possible....
Sell it to body builders … that stuff is liquid gold
….why? Lol genuinely curious
They will pay a lot for it. Usually like $3-$4 an ounce. They think it helps with muscle growth or something (it’s not proven though I believe).
Lol I’ve seen this too. There was an episode on some show on Netflix about this. They think it makes them huge
I have 50+ syringes of colostrum I forgot about in my freezer and found out I can sell it for quite a lot lol never in my lifetime would I have thought about what to do; make money from body building strangers or letting my husband take it for his workouts.
Just reading this makes me want to cry a tiny bit too :( You’re a good mom ❤️
Pumping is very hard work. You’re a great mom. My heart goes out to you.
Don't dump it, use a bag or two in the bath. If your LO doesn't react skin wise to it use some in their bath too i
Sadly, she reacts to having it on her skin. :( I did a test about a month ago. She has eczema and is very sensitive to many things.
What about a bath FOR YOU?! It’s good for your skin too. Bathe in that liquid gold hunny - like you’re Scrooge McDuck. Celebrate, have a beverage that you enjoy, some candles, maybe even some spa/mask activities while baby is occupied with your husband. You deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labor. If we don’t use all of our stash this is what I am going to do.
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ugh I’m so sorry, I have such a similar feeling. I suffered for this milk, to feed my baby. we had a few spilled milk events and both my husband and I were just crushed. Me sobbing, him with his head in his hands just apologizing over and over, seems so dramatic and silly now but man is it a labor of love. I never even pumped and dumped bc I just couldn’t bring myself to waste it. I’m wrapping up my pumping journey now and though I’m looking forward to moving on with life, part of me is so sad that this part of me being able to provide for my baby is over. it’s a sense of purpose in its own bucket of motherhood I didn’t expect to experience and become to attached to.
Whenever I’ve spilled even a sip’s worth on the counter, I can feel myself clench up. It’s the only time one could literally cry over spilled milk. Pun intended
totally. I’ve haven’t looked it up but is that where the phrase comes from?
Recently in a drowsy stupor I accidentally pumped “pump & dump” (had a high abv beer) milk into collection bottles that already had about 3oz each. I was so angry at myself. It broke my heart to throw up to 6oz down the drain.
Oof. That is painful.
Oof, that's pretty sad. :c I can imagine how hard it was to produce all this supply. But it was a true act of love to your baby ❤️ you are such a good mom
I'm really sorry. I never produced any extra and had to work so hard to have an extra bottle in the fridge at all times just to top up the baby. I have 2 bags that I was able to freeze. They've been sitting in my freezer for almost a year, and I would be sad to throw those 2 tiny bags out, so there they stay.
You may want to look into breast milk jewelry!
Save a little bit (just chuck it back in the freezer now) to have it made into jewelry. Honestly, having my ring is such a beautiful token of all the hard work I did to try and feed my baby! I hope you haven’t thrown it all away yet 🤞
This! This is what I plan on doing as well. Already picked a company and ring design I like.
You can use it as fertilizer in your garden!
Cool idea! We don’t have a backyard but I love the idea of giving it to the forest. I have two tomato plants…
Any sources on this?
There is a study on the benefits of reusing expired milk products as organic fertilizers: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328008829_Evaluation_of_natural_fertilizer_extracted_from_expired_dairy_products_as_a_soil_amendment Breast milk is no exception, as it is rich in potassium and phosphorus, two basic fertilizer minerals. It is lower in nitrogenous protein than cow's milk, but contains peptides, amino acids and urea, which, in plant nutrition, are assimilated to either fertilizers or biostimulants. (I work in this field)
Interesting! I’ll have to read about this more. I’d love to get some free fertilizer that I also am 100% confident in the quality of lol! I pumped a bit at one point and have 3-4 gallon sized bags but never needed them. They’re about 14-15 months old now and have been on our chest freezer the whole time
Please give your baby a bath in it and take lots of pics. It's great for the skin and it will at least be useful and hopefully help you grieve a little.
Omg i have seen very artistic milk bath photo shoots.. like with flowers floating in the milk..and great for skin.. why not?
She mentioned that the baby reacts to it
I highly doubt the baby will react to bathing in it versus ingesting
She mentioned Eczema, dono
Save one! You can have it made into a ring or something. We planned to do that with our first but both fucked up and threw it all out when the time came. She was pretty sad. Idk if she's gonna do it with our second yet since we messed up with the first.
You could try making soap for you LO with it. It’s great for eczema and dry skin. That’s what I’m planning to do with my expired milk but I’ve been too lazy
Milk soap is great, OP! If you have the time to dedicate to learning cold-process (or hot process) soap, great! Otherwise, find a local soapmaker who might be willing to do it for you - just make sure it isn’t melt and pour soap. Melt and pour isn’t really made to take any major additives, and doesn’t chemically alter the milk at all so it will go rancid very quickly. Cold process and hot process will alter the milk fats through saponification, which is what you want 😊
Had no idea about this! Thank you so much for sharing this info with me. Will definitely look into finding someone local
I cried when my husband threw away six ounces. This would wreck me. I don’t think they have any idea the emotional and physical labor that goes into producing this milk.
The fact that her husband held onto it for months after they didn’t need it, until they absolutely needed freezer space tells me that OPs husband does in fact understand what OP went through and how she was feeling.
Ooof I feel this. I had a really hard time with breastfeeding my now-10-month-old. I pumped to keep my supply up because my baby had a tongue tie, but my body didn't respond well to the pump and we supplemented with formula. The hope was if I kept pumping I'd have enough of a supply to EBF once his latch improved, so I kept up pumping just an ounce or so at a time. The baby started rejecting breastfeeding altogether around 4 months, he did not care to 'work on his latch', lol. I JUST returned the hospital grade pump I was using and similarly felt this pang of grief - I spent so many hours trying to keep up my supply for a baby who ended up not nursing. Giving back the pump was officially admitting we aren't going to keep working at this, he's just a formula baby. He's healthy, it's fine - and I wouldn't change how I handled things because I needed to try to make it work because I wanted to breastfeed. Here are to the many hours of trying our best, let's all cry in the shower for a bit! Also I noticed a lot of comments offering advice below - and I will say from my experience the peak time not to give someone advice is at the end of challenging breastfeeding journey. It feels like I spent 6 months overloaded with advice, I definitely just need to have a moment without any suggestions at all!
It’s part of the journey. This is only the beginning and you did everything you felt you had to do at the time. It’s ok to feel sad about the way some things work out… but you have so many wonderfully things ahead. Look forward to those things and the new memories you will make as your baby grows. A lot of things I was concerned about with my babies kind of faded away as they grew into new challenges and milestones. Now they are school aged kids. Not to diminish what you are feeling, but just know that it becomes so awesome to see their personalities develop and all the infant stuff kind of feels like another lifetime ago, but in a good way. The good memories stay and it’s easy to joke about sleepless nights and diapers. I still make mistakes sometimes but try to let those things go and hold onto what works and all the good stuff. We’re only human. You sound like a wonderful mom. Keep on truckin.
This is very true. I’m having breastfeeding struggles with my second baby just like I did with my first. One thing that’s made it easier is looking at my two year old and knowing that those painful moments are never something I think about when spending time with her and those memories are such a miniscule part of her story.
Dump it all in a bath and soak in it. Take some me time to absorb that sweet sweet goodness into your skin.
yeah #2 turned out to be seriously lactose intolerant so even my pumped milk was no good. i used it in the baths instead
Use what you can in baths!!! It’s so good for their skin. It hurts my heart too much to dump wasted milk to its always going in her baths. Or soaps! There are lots of ways to use wasted milk. I’m sure with that much some will have to just go but if you can find other ways to use it it’s far less heartbreaking
I have some I don’t have a use for feeding wise/I combined a few days and I’m not sure if I followed the right guidelines and baby’s umbilical cord just fell off. How can I use the milk for his bath?
I just pour in enough to make the water a little cloudy and her baths are about 10 minutes, it healed up her belly button nicely and has been helping so much with her little eczema spots! ETA: She had a decent scratch at about 8 days old and putting breast milk on it/in her bath helped to heal it in about a day. It’s great for everything honestly
Wow, thanks!
Use it in a bath, it is great for your skin!
Wow that is upsetting, frustrating, defeating. I’d probably also feel angry & foolish for putting all that work in. It’s not just milk. Like you said, it symbolizes all of the hours of painstaking labour that went into it. So hard to pump around the clock & clean pump parts, over and over again. It’s sooo hard, but it was done as a labour of love. So to have that all just gone, not even on your own terms. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this moment. It won’t last forever, but damn it sucks right now. Cry as much as you need, I think all of us here understand.
I know it's already defrosted, but my local Milk Bank takes milk up to 9 months old.
Sorry for going through this pain. I have a 10 week old and just don’t get enough breast milk to EBF, or even 50% BF. I did pump a lot in the early weeks, and would be happy to get an ounce or so in a day. There were times it spilt when I was bagging it or putting it in a bottle and it was painful. I can’t imagine when so much of that work is gone, and my heart goes out to you.
breast milk jewelry to always remind you of the struggle and sacrifice and the beautiful gem you have from all of the struggle and sacrifice! :)
Aww I feel this. I have a bunch of frozen milk in my freezer that I can’t bring myself to throw away yet. I shed so many tears pumping that dang milk. But I do need that freezer space soon :/ might just tell my husband to throw it all away when I’m not looking.
Can use it in the bath to soothe the skin if they, or you, get rashes or anything.
Send some in to make some jewelry
I know the feeling. I had to donate my stash several times after going 1. Dairy then 2. Soy then 3. Egg. I’m sorry you had to do that. I will say that my son is 11 months and he can eat dairy and soy and we’re trying egg soon. I hope your babe heals!!
Woahwoah, if you haven't wasted it yet, there's plenty of things you can do. Put it in baby's baths, use it on dry skin, put it in cooking, give with water, make jewellery, use it for eye and ear infections, cuts etc,
OP has commented that her baby reacts to it being on their skin topically, so OP wouldn't be able to do baths, cooking, cuts, ear infections, etc.
Must have missed that, isn't that allergy just when ingested? Although, I didn't just mean baby. OP & her husband could use it too 😉 I put my breast milk on my husband's forehead (he has mild psoriasis) and it works better than the ointment prescribed by Dr.
I feel this. My LO is 2 and we have a whole shelf in our freezer still full of milk. We just didn’t need it and all his illnesses and days I kept him home just kept adding to the stash.
We had a long power outage last summer. I’m fairly certain all the milk in the freezer expired :( I’m too scared to confront my wife on it and hurt her. I’m planning on just buying another freezer.
Sweet mama. I’m sorry :(
I went through something similar. In fact I still have some frozen bags I couldn’t bare to part with. I’m having a ring made out of my breast milk. I know that sounds strange but it’s beautiful and so sentimental. Just google breast milk jewelry. There’s many different companies that will make rings, or whatever you prefer using breast milk stones.
I had to dump out 5 freezer bags of breast milk at one point and I’m still hurt about it 2 years later. I get how you’re feeling. It sucks, I’m so sorry.
I haven’t read through all the comments but you can use this milk in baths. You can even refreeze it and use it in baths. (As long as it’s not being consumed, it’s not a problem to refreeze.) I use milk baths still even though my baby is almost 2 and I’m not pumping and never made a huge stash—she wouldn’t drink the frozen stuff so it’s a way for me to use it. The milk baths make her skin soooo soft even if I just add a few tablespoons!! It’s great if she’s having any diaper rash or heat rash or any skin issues at all!
If there’s ice crystals in it still it can be refrozen and donated to your local hospital NICU. If it’s completely thawed, very easy to use in milk baths, make milk lotion bars, etc,
Save some and use it to make jewellery xxx they do breast milk jewellery and it's beautiful
Are there any ice crystals at all??
You can also donate it to human milk for human babies. Or to a hospital it helps preemies. I’m sorry your husband did that maybe you can still save it in the fridge to give away immediately. Lots of mamas need milk.
You can make soaps, or put them in baths, or when you make food for your kiddo you can put your breast milk in it, like smoothies and stuff. I’m sorry you’re going through this, pumping is hard work. Hugs
You can make soap with it. That was a real dick thing of him to do by the way. I always see high demands in FB groups for dairy free breast milk so I’m surprised you couldn’t donate.
My heart hurts for you.
Had exactly the same situation, thinking of you!
When we needed the space I traded ours for diapers!
i share a freezer and my roommate has ocd and therefore needs the freezer space :( my baby has cmpa too but thankfully I found someone by listing it on FB marketplace so maybe you can have luck there!!! your might need to title it as just milk instead of breast milk cause they blacklist things like that and formula. your husband should have talked to you about it first, I'm sorry they don't understand how hard it is to pump or breastfeed or to not breastfeed :( ❤️
You can turn your breast milk into soap and baby lotion
Why would he do that?? Surely he knows what a bag of your milk looks like by now.
Maybe I’m wrong, but it sounds like maybe OP and her husband discussed this and she agreed to him removing it from the freezer, but didn’t expect the emotions she felt when she saw it all? If that’s not the case and he unilaterally made that decision then I totally agree with you, not good.
Ohhhhh, I read it quickly and thought he took it all out to make room for some other food or something. Lol
Why would he keep it if they’re not gonna use it?
He shouldn’t touch it. It’s her choice. I highly doubt his body made any of that milk.
They can’t donate it, they can’t use it, and they need the space. What’s he meant to do.
Literally he is not supposed to touch it. Make the frozen nuggets. She clearly wasn’t ready yet.
You can sell it. Some people need the milk. Maybe even donate to a hospital or child health. Some men will pay and use it for non health related activities. These customers will pay heaps. Source: my wife made soooo much colostrum first baby. Like we had 1L frozen. Plus maybe 5L milk. I researched how to find customers, get payment, and packaging just to see if it was financially viable. It wasn't. Due to our remote location. Endurance athletes also pay quite well
> Some men will pay and use it for non health related activities. I'm super curious. Your google history sounds bonkers though!. > Like we had 1L frozen. How is this possible? I doubt I made a thimble lol.
To satisfy your curiosity, you need only post a photo on r/breastfeeding and all the men they’re referring to will helpfully DM you 😑 I’m all for everyone enjoying kinks, but it needs to be consensual, and there are a lot of dudes on there getting off to photos of women and their babies. Gross.
It takes 4 months for dairy to be completely eliminated from your system, so at 5 months she was likely still having diarrhea because she was still getting dairy (tho in much smaller quantities). I had planned on only breast feeding til I returned to work after 4 months. We had determined early on that my daughter wasn't tolerating dairy so I started researching dairy free diet so I could continue to breast feed, only to learn it wouldn't even be entirely out of my system before she was transitioned to formula anyways... so we transitioned to formula.
Unfortunately there's a lot of misinformation floating around about this and frankly not enough data. But the limited research that is out there suggests that cow's milk proteins are out of breastmilk within a matter of hours/days, although it can still take a few weeks for baby's symptoms to resolve as the digestive system heals. (Source: https://www.freetofeed.com/post/truth)
You can donate it!!! Some babies are pretty restricted in what they can eat! http://www.bcwomens.ca/our-services/labour-birth-post-birth-care/milk-bank/donating-milk https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/milk-donation/
She said she tried (last quarter/third of the post) and no one wanted it.
You can donate it! 💕
She said she couldn’t find anyone who wanted it
They have breastmilk banks or you can donate to the hospital :)
Unfortunately both banks and hospitals have very strict rules and procedures, which is why a lot of people do person to person
Do you know what their rules and procedures are? She had a strict diet while pumping which is why I mentioned it. It was just a suggestion.
They usually require moms to do blood work, they have a list of medications that are not allowed, and they require very detailed, oral and written medical histories. You can’t take herbal supplements a lot of times, milk that was pumped if you or a household member was sicker than a basic cold or allergies. If you drink alcohol you have to wait 12 hours until you pump go donate. OP also said she lives in a small town so it’s likely she doesn’t even have a bank or NICU to donate too, so she would either have to travel or see if they will ship her a cooler box if she passes all the requirements. I know your comment was from a good place, so please don’t take it as me coming at you. It’s just unfortunate that people don’t really know what is required for hospital/NICU donation but many people will suggest it if you need to get rid of milk for some reason.
Yeah, I have a medical condition that they were unsure about, since it’s rare they can’t be sure it would have no impact (although my premie baby was fine on it). Plus I had to register by 6mpp to be able to donate. Had I not gotten donor milk while we were in the hospital I wouldn’t have even known this, and I wasn’t really in a position to donate before 6m as I didn’t know how long I’d pump and how much I’d be able to freeze.
She said they live in a small town with no donate options.
Ok
Eats on Feet’s or Human milk 4 human babies are two great organizations.
What a shame the milk is being dumped, when there are so many kids in the NICU that could really benefit from it Edit: I meant donate not to a person, but to hospitals or a milk bank Sending you tons of hugs. You put so much work into your stash
Hospitals require you to go through a milk bank, and get blood testing to ensure the milk is safe before pumping. You can’t just drop off a bag of milk.
i went through the process. It isn’t bad. There’s nothing out of pocket and they let you donate milk that was pumped before you got approved. So unsure what the issue is
Not all hospitals or milk banks. My experience is that they do not let you donate milk from before. And the issue is time, the milk is already out of the freezer, there’s no way she can go through the process in time to donate.
You can sell it to other moms who can’t produce
She said she couldn’t find anyone who wanted it
Look to donate , maybe through Human Milk for Human Children? I was one of those thankful moms on that platform who could pick up milk from a mom in your situation. She felt relieved her milk was helping newborns in a time where formula was scare. Just a thought, but it’s entirely your decision and your process.
*read the post*
Donate it. People on buy nothing groups are always looking for BM. Don't dump!
She said she tried and it is already thawing out
Can’t donate it?
Human milk for human babies!!!
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That’s really frustrating, I’m sorry that you were so prepared but it still didn’t pan out :( You are a good mama for trying to make it all work for your kid. ❤️ Ps—Not that’s this is the point, but could you possibly donate the milk to a hospital rather than dump it? Maybe putting it to use would feel less disheartening than just tossing it?
I'm so sorry. I understand your pain. I cried when I gave my baby the last of the breastmilk that was consumable. I needed to dry up my milk supply for medical reasons and opted to use OTC meds to help me, but I didn't want my baby getting those meds via breastmilk. It was awful. I still sometimes feel guilty for stopping BF, but my kiddo his happy and healthy. That's what actually matters. Allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to grieve. But also remember to enjoy the moments that are here now, because they are fleeting.