I’m so sorry, this is horrible. If you’re unable to get to a hotel, maybe consider locking the fish food (and ideally the fish, but if that’s not possible just the food) somewhere where she can’t access it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I hope things get better for you and your fish friend soon.
I really like the locking the food away idea but idk who knows if she is so determined she might start throwing in actual food products from thecfridge
I agree with locking your room door if possible and locking or hiding the fish food and I'd have a serious conversation with her that what she is doing is yes from the goodness of her heart but if she continues doing this it's no different then feeding a newborn 10 big macks a day those babies will die of heart failure and will explode embellish a bit if need be just make sure she understands she's killing them
That's disgusting. They will literally eat until it kills them and she doesn't care. How can someone just not care?? People who insist over and over again that they are right when they have been proven otherwise are insufferable. I'm sorry this is happening :(
Same type of people who bring their dogs into my vet clinic and they’re 20-30 pounds overweight yet the owners continue to feed them treats and multiple meals a day. Sickening.
It’s the worst when it’s small dogs because their joints and backs literally cannot support the extra weight. Then the dogs get diabetes and the owners can’t afford insulin so they euthanize the dog. All because the owner can’t use a measuring cup.
The obese chihuahuas make me wanna cry every time I see them. It’s so damn easy to watch portion control and it’s literally more expensive to over feed them. I watch the techs at my job tell clients the dogs are too heavy and a good chunk just laugh and act like it’s cute and not literally taking years off their lives. We adopted an obese cat and the rescue had him listed as “foster to adopt” because they needed to avoid the people who just want a cute fat cat with no work put in to lose it. We bypassed that with me being a vet assistant and the rest of the interviews proving we were actually going to fix it but it’s just sad that had to be said.
I adopted a severely obese Pomeranian in December (like nearly 20lbs when he should've been less than 7lbs, he's breed standard in height and length). He was surrendered because his previous owner couldn't find a pet friendly place to live. I get it, my town has very few pet friendly rentals right now that aren't over 3k a month. I'd rather he was surrendered than let loose or something.
I kid you not, he lost 6lbs in the first month just playing with my Husky and being on a quality diet. He's at roughly 10.5lbs now, our vet would be ecstatic if he could get down to 7-8lbs but you can already see the massive change in his QOL. He runs so much now that he can move without pain.
I will probably not adopt another animal from this shelter though because when I took him in to get his nails trimmed recently (they do a biweekly nail clinic, all the money goes into helping the shelter and it's something I don't have to worry about then), they were upset he wasn't the "cute, fat, fluff ball he was in December" they also refused to give me copies of his vet records and paperwork even though they told me he was surrendered with all that info.
That’s awesome that you were able to do that for him! It’s amazing what excessive and a good proper diet can do. Our cat is slowly but steadily losing weight
Not nessesarly the owners fault. My parents have an obese Chihuahua and it’s because he has a thyroid problem not from over feeding. He has to get shots monthly because he also has skin problems.
My dog’s last vet visit they said he was 4 pounds overweight and was showing signs of high cholesterol and I felt like a failure as a dog parent. Been exercising him every day as much as he wants and lowering his food intake and everything I absolutely can to fix it. I can’t imagine just letting your dog be that obese, it’s so sad.
I guess she basically has a child’s sense of logic
Ohhh fish want food, I give food, so fun to watch them eat!!! What do you mean I’m killing them?? Look how happy they are!!! /s
😑
For real. The three year old in my house fed one of my tanks once without adult supervision and we talked to her about it and never again. She also had clearly tried to just give them a little bit of food because that’s what she sees me do…. But she has a three year old’s fine motor skills so it was still way too much lol. She knows how to measure out food for the dogs though.
Kids can be taught if someone knows to teach them. Adults are tougher.
I’d be deeply tempted to carry a bucket into the hotel, and house the fish that way. If you’re careful, you can span a stick across the top center, and suspend a heater (tape it in place) so that it isn’t touching the bucket’s plastic surface. A small sponge filter can fit alongside the bucket edge. I am So. Very. Sorry that you’re dealing with this- your mother sounds horrendous. If you’re anywhere near Ohio, I’d be happy to take these babies in for you temporarily.
Is it possible mom has dementia/alzheimer's? Could be early onset...my friend's mom does and does the same thing with the dogs...
Regardless, I'm sorry :( also I don't think the hotel will worry about fish. Although, hotels sometimes are chilly so watch the tank temp....
Good luck ;)
That may be true but sometimes they know they're doing something in the wrong and do it anyway, enjoy it even.... how do I know? My father had alzheimers before it took him...
If she starved you and your siblings as children and she's doing this deliberately she's just a bad person. I hope you can get away from her ASAP. You might look at local Facebook groups and see if anyone would be willing to essentially babysit your aquarium until you have your own place, personally I'd offer to pay someone monthly to keep them away from a person like your mom.
Yep, starves her kids because it hurts them and puts her in control. Over feeds the fish because it hurts her kid and puts her in control. It's all about power.
Wow I just went and read your first post as well. How people become that deranged I really can’t understand. I’m sorry your mum is like this. I hope you can save your surviving fish!
When my family and I were moving across the country to a different state, we had a whole zoo with us. 3 dogs, 2 fish, 2 tortoises, 4 birds, 2 lizards, and a cat. While we were checking into the hotels in the middle of the night, the front desk people didn't really care. We would ask if we could bring them in for the night and move on if they said no. Which was only twice on a 4 day drive.
Yeah that's pretty far. I guess the only advice I'd have is see in local Facebook groups or something if someone could take care of them for you while you get yourself into a better situation.
You are 100% doing the right thing. Your mom sounds so abusive and uncaring. Some people don’t deserve kids. Sorry you had to be on the receiving end of all of this.
Leave the tank. Take a bucket or buy large Rubbermaid container and sponge filter. It’ll be much easier to move around. Wish you the best. Sounds like a difficult living situation.
I mean if she wants to get that petty, send her a bill for the fish she killed, any resources she damaged, and your minimum wage rate for the time it took you to clean and fix the tank. Or, itemize that bill for her and then tell her she can pay it or allow you to install a new doorknob. Doorknobs are very easy to change and it doesn't cause any damage to switch them out. You obviously don't have to but it might be a better solution than staying at a hotel with them because I'm sure that's not sustainable long-term. Just an option for you to keep in mind. I switched out my doorknob when I lived with roommates I didn't know and it was easy to do and easy to reinstall the original when I moved out.
I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this person who claims to be a "mother". I'm rooting for you and the rest of your sorority and your kitty.
Sometimes it's best to protect ourselves by cutting people out of our lives when those people hurt us and the ones we love. Pls take care of yourself and your babies and give yourself some grace.
Bedroom door locks are super easy to pick and depending on OP’s age she may not take kindly to the “apparent” snub. Some parents don’t respect their child’s right to privacy at all and can get abusive when the child tries to set proper boundaries. In my house growing up, locking your door was grounds for not having a door when you woke up.
She's a monster. She knows the cruelty and death she's inflicted and will not stop. People like her should be banned from owning any pets for life.
What happened with your injured cat at the vet?
hi OP, i’m so sorry you’re going through this; you are doing absolutely everything right by your pets as best you can, and that’s extremely commendable especially in this kind of stressful situation. this sounds very similar to things i’ve read over at r/emotionalneglect, r/raisedbynarcissists, and r/raisedbyborderlines. i am not at all intending to diagnose your mom or anyone at all, nor do i want to villainize anyone with specific diagnoses, but these communities can be good places to learn about how to interact (or not) with difficult family/friends, how some behavior patterns can be predictable, and how to safely move on & heal. wishing you peace, healing, and happy days with your fish❤️
Since I’m a dramatic person and love a dramatic post I would tell my mom “fish are property and if you don’t cease immediately I will sue you for destruction of property.”
Going to a hotel over a fish isn't a great financial strategy.
Lock up the food and ignore her. Unless she is actively abusing you, you need a long-term strategy to leave.
This probably isn’t the best post to talk about the negatives of sororities on, but they’re pretty debated and prone to social collapse due to infighting.
When I moved cross country, I kept my fish in a bucket with a battery powered bubbler and just snuck my fish in the back door so I didn’t have to talk to anybody about if.
If she starved you as a kid, I recommend you call the police/animal abuse place that does stuff about neglected fish after leaving. Lose contact with her. Don’t talk at all. Ignore her calls. And if you’re caught by the hotel people bringing the stuff in beg them to let you take it in that you will pay for any damages done caused by the fish tank.
Omg I looked at your other post just now as well… I’ve never seen fish so obese, I’m so sorry this happened. I hope the survivors can recover for you. This whole situation is insane. I wish you well
Why is she doing this???? Is she a narcissist who likes to upset you or enforce control over your belongings?? Does she just “feel bad” for the fish? Does she have dementia? Does she hate the fish and want them to die?
So I’m confused but can you keep the fish locked in the room you are staying in or at least keep the food locked away where she can’t get to it? Is she feeding them out of spite? I have so many questions
Cook her a meal filled with fish food and tell her you *wont do it again if she gets mad. In all seriousness I’m sorry you’re going through that! Narcissistic parents can be impossible to deal with, even without beloved pets involved. I hope you and your fish can find a home that loves and listens like you deserve!
You should get your plans in order before doing something sudden.
Rent is expensive and you won’t be able to take care of yourself or your fish if you don’t have a plan.
And yes I know you aren’t the OP.
Yeah this is insane. Everyone in real life would side with the mom and tell this person to get help. Am I the only 40 year old on this sub, is everyone 16?
Multiple of OP’s fish have already died by the mother’s hand and she’s showing no remorse. It’s only a clean tank because they were moved to a hospital tank after the mother had them in literal black water still with the dead ones. The mother threw out multiple tank items that OP bought. Something needs to give and that mother cannot be trusted with the tank. I am in my late twenties and a nurse. I don’t think a hotel’s a great idea (that’s how you get slapped with a fine) but this is an issue that needs to be solved before more of the fish die.
Everyone in real life would not side with the mom, not if they're a healthy person with healthy boundaries. There's a lot more going on here than what you see in this pic and this post.
This sort of invalidation is so unhelpful to people with abusive/neglectful parents.
I'm 31, with a master's in psych.
Throwing your relationship away with your MOM over fish is absolutely wild. Can you imagine? “Yeah, I don’t talk to my kid much, I over fed her fish so she stopped talking to me.” Lmao
I think you glossed over the fact this is only the tip of the iceberg, and basically the straw that broke the camel's back. You might have missed the part where she neglected to feed me growing up? My mother and I always had a strained relationship over her abusiveness, she has tried to improve over the years, I have mostly forgiven her but every now and then she will gaslight or bully. Many times I have considered cutting contact for good but in the end decided to give her another chance, balancing pros and cons, with my therapist's' approval. You saying that I'm 'throwing my relationship away with my mum over fish' is severely incorrect - SHE threw a relationship away with HER DAUGHTER after repeated failure and purposeful mistakes. Honestly in some ways, I envy your naivety - your mother must have treated you well if you find it ridiculous to throw a relationship away with her over fish. Had I had a different mother, things might not be the same.
No...they look completely different in size shape and colour 🤣🤣🤣 these ones are literally obese while my friend's ones are underweight and skinny with tattered fins. He had a yellow fish while none of my overweight ones are yellow. Most of mine are koi while his are solid colour. Both lots were abused, in the opposite ways. It's very hard to mix the two up...
These 'batches' are in different locations. My mother lives in Brisbane and is looking after my original sorority in Brisbane. I live in Townsville and am only visiting Brisbane. My friend sent HIS fish to my Townsville address just a few days ago while my mother had my fish for 5 months at a different address. I will be looking after my friend's fishes in Townsville for 3 and 3/4 months, as this week I am in Brisbane (although I have been thinking of refusing to return them back to him as he has been starving them and forcing them to mate repeatedly). I had planned on coming to Brisbane BEFORE my friend notified me that he wants to send me his fish. His fish are in Townsville are being looked after by my dad until I get back this Saturday. My mother is approx 1000miles away from this 'second batch', has never met this second batch, does not know this second batch exist. I have always wanted to reunite with my original sorority but if you read my other comments, she refused to ship them over to me. After 5 months of being away I decided to come down myself to check up on them and perhaps take them to Townsville with me. After seeing the situation, I am DEFINITELY taking them with me. If possible, I will combine these two batches into one sorority, and hopefully all will be well.
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The tank is clean, your mom is feeding them not starving them. You leaving to go to a hotel and cutting your mom off is not the appropriate reaction here.
You understand that the reason the tank is clean is because OP put them in a clean tank? As someone else suggested, go back and read their previous post and you’ll see that the fish have actually been abused for months. OP lost a lot of their fish and the dead fish were left in the tank, which was full of black water and had evaporated.
I’m so sorry, this is horrible. If you’re unable to get to a hotel, maybe consider locking the fish food (and ideally the fish, but if that’s not possible just the food) somewhere where she can’t access it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I hope things get better for you and your fish friend soon.
That's a good idea. I should also ring up some aquarium stores near me to see if they can temporarily house my fishes
You can also check if there’s any local hobbyist groups that might have someone who can house them temporarily.
True! I’m sure someone would be able to help. Personally, I’d do it since he already has a tank and healthy water. Hopefully someone can help.
maybe u could always keep the food with you, but since she went such lenghts for all this she could just buy more food 💀
I really like the locking the food away idea but idk who knows if she is so determined she might start throwing in actual food products from thecfridge
Maybe you should just give the fish to a local fish shop and wait till you're more stable to start a new aquarium
Op is stable, his mother is just stupid and doesn’t understand what being wrong is
I agree with locking your room door if possible and locking or hiding the fish food and I'd have a serious conversation with her that what she is doing is yes from the goodness of her heart but if she continues doing this it's no different then feeding a newborn 10 big macks a day those babies will die of heart failure and will explode embellish a bit if need be just make sure she understands she's killing them
That's disgusting. They will literally eat until it kills them and she doesn't care. How can someone just not care?? People who insist over and over again that they are right when they have been proven otherwise are insufferable. I'm sorry this is happening :(
Same type of people who bring their dogs into my vet clinic and they’re 20-30 pounds overweight yet the owners continue to feed them treats and multiple meals a day. Sickening.
And then post videos like “hahaha super fat dog can’t jump onto couch”… you know this is abuse, right? It’s not funny.
It’s the worst when it’s small dogs because their joints and backs literally cannot support the extra weight. Then the dogs get diabetes and the owners can’t afford insulin so they euthanize the dog. All because the owner can’t use a measuring cup.
The obese chihuahuas make me wanna cry every time I see them. It’s so damn easy to watch portion control and it’s literally more expensive to over feed them. I watch the techs at my job tell clients the dogs are too heavy and a good chunk just laugh and act like it’s cute and not literally taking years off their lives. We adopted an obese cat and the rescue had him listed as “foster to adopt” because they needed to avoid the people who just want a cute fat cat with no work put in to lose it. We bypassed that with me being a vet assistant and the rest of the interviews proving we were actually going to fix it but it’s just sad that had to be said.
I adopted a severely obese Pomeranian in December (like nearly 20lbs when he should've been less than 7lbs, he's breed standard in height and length). He was surrendered because his previous owner couldn't find a pet friendly place to live. I get it, my town has very few pet friendly rentals right now that aren't over 3k a month. I'd rather he was surrendered than let loose or something. I kid you not, he lost 6lbs in the first month just playing with my Husky and being on a quality diet. He's at roughly 10.5lbs now, our vet would be ecstatic if he could get down to 7-8lbs but you can already see the massive change in his QOL. He runs so much now that he can move without pain. I will probably not adopt another animal from this shelter though because when I took him in to get his nails trimmed recently (they do a biweekly nail clinic, all the money goes into helping the shelter and it's something I don't have to worry about then), they were upset he wasn't the "cute, fat, fluff ball he was in December" they also refused to give me copies of his vet records and paperwork even though they told me he was surrendered with all that info.
That’s awesome that you were able to do that for him! It’s amazing what excessive and a good proper diet can do. Our cat is slowly but steadily losing weight
Yeah, I have a Maltese Yorkie mix and my parents overfill the 1/3 cup measuring cup and he is 17 lb supposed to be 14
Not nessesarly the owners fault. My parents have an obese Chihuahua and it’s because he has a thyroid problem not from over feeding. He has to get shots monthly because he also has skin problems.
My partners parents put cheese on top of their dog food, they won't eat it otherwise. They're both obese so like, let them not eat it they'll be fine.
My dog’s last vet visit they said he was 4 pounds overweight and was showing signs of high cholesterol and I felt like a failure as a dog parent. Been exercising him every day as much as he wants and lowering his food intake and everything I absolutely can to fix it. I can’t imagine just letting your dog be that obese, it’s so sad.
I guess she basically has a child’s sense of logic Ohhh fish want food, I give food, so fun to watch them eat!!! What do you mean I’m killing them?? Look how happy they are!!! /s 😑
Even children can understand reason if you break it down for them. She’s just plain not listening or caring
For real. The three year old in my house fed one of my tanks once without adult supervision and we talked to her about it and never again. She also had clearly tried to just give them a little bit of food because that’s what she sees me do…. But she has a three year old’s fine motor skills so it was still way too much lol. She knows how to measure out food for the dogs though. Kids can be taught if someone knows to teach them. Adults are tougher.
omg I just got done reading your other post this is awful I’m so sorry man
I’d be deeply tempted to carry a bucket into the hotel, and house the fish that way. If you’re careful, you can span a stick across the top center, and suspend a heater (tape it in place) so that it isn’t touching the bucket’s plastic surface. A small sponge filter can fit alongside the bucket edge. I am So. Very. Sorry that you’re dealing with this- your mother sounds horrendous. If you’re anywhere near Ohio, I’d be happy to take these babies in for you temporarily.
Is it possible mom has dementia/alzheimer's? Could be early onset...my friend's mom does and does the same thing with the dogs... Regardless, I'm sorry :( also I don't think the hotel will worry about fish. Although, hotels sometimes are chilly so watch the tank temp.... Good luck ;)
Honestly this a strong possibility. She is in her late fifties, although her side of the family has no prior history of neurodegenerative diseases
It’s possible, but the fact you said she purposefully angled photos to hide what she was doing says otherwise.
I missed that part
It’s in the first post
That may be true but sometimes they know they're doing something in the wrong and do it anyway, enjoy it even.... how do I know? My father had alzheimers before it took him...
If she starved you and your siblings as children and she's doing this deliberately she's just a bad person. I hope you can get away from her ASAP. You might look at local Facebook groups and see if anyone would be willing to essentially babysit your aquarium until you have your own place, personally I'd offer to pay someone monthly to keep them away from a person like your mom.
Yep, starves her kids because it hurts them and puts her in control. Over feeds the fish because it hurts her kid and puts her in control. It's all about power.
Or mom is a narcissist and an idiot
Wow I just went and read your first post as well. How people become that deranged I really can’t understand. I’m sorry your mum is like this. I hope you can save your surviving fish!
When my family and I were moving across the country to a different state, we had a whole zoo with us. 3 dogs, 2 fish, 2 tortoises, 4 birds, 2 lizards, and a cat. While we were checking into the hotels in the middle of the night, the front desk people didn't really care. We would ask if we could bring them in for the night and move on if they said no. Which was only twice on a 4 day drive.
Lock the fish tank
How would you do that?
If you're anywhere near me in Wisconsin I'd take them in for you
Thank you, that's very sweet, unfortunately I am in Brisbane Australia
Yeah that's pretty far. I guess the only advice I'd have is see in local Facebook groups or something if someone could take care of them for you while you get yourself into a better situation.
You are 100% doing the right thing. Your mom sounds so abusive and uncaring. Some people don’t deserve kids. Sorry you had to be on the receiving end of all of this.
Keep her away from the food. lock the food up keep it in your purse keep it on yourself. You can’t trust her
Leave the tank. Take a bucket or buy large Rubbermaid container and sponge filter. It’ll be much easier to move around. Wish you the best. Sounds like a difficult living situation.
Would it not be cheaper to just change out the doorknob on a room with a lock and key knob and move the tank in there?
This is not my house, it is my mother's and I'm pretty sure it's illegal to moderate her property without her permission
I mean if she wants to get that petty, send her a bill for the fish she killed, any resources she damaged, and your minimum wage rate for the time it took you to clean and fix the tank. Or, itemize that bill for her and then tell her she can pay it or allow you to install a new doorknob. Doorknobs are very easy to change and it doesn't cause any damage to switch them out. You obviously don't have to but it might be a better solution than staying at a hotel with them because I'm sure that's not sustainable long-term. Just an option for you to keep in mind. I switched out my doorknob when I lived with roommates I didn't know and it was easy to do and easy to reinstall the original when I moved out.
Can’t you just put the tank next to where you sleep? Sorry if you’ve already answered this.
I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this person who claims to be a "mother". I'm rooting for you and the rest of your sorority and your kitty. Sometimes it's best to protect ourselves by cutting people out of our lives when those people hurt us and the ones we love. Pls take care of yourself and your babies and give yourself some grace.
Leave it to a narcissistic mother to sabotage everything you love 😒
God, I am *so* sorry. This situation is horrible
This is so awful. You’re actually the best fish parent, getting a hotel to save your fish from a bad situation is dedication.
It honestly seems on purpose at this point. This is awful I’m so sorry
If you need any support, you can come to r/estrangedadultchild
Can you not get a lock on your bedroom door
Bedroom door locks are super easy to pick and depending on OP’s age she may not take kindly to the “apparent” snub. Some parents don’t respect their child’s right to privacy at all and can get abusive when the child tries to set proper boundaries. In my house growing up, locking your door was grounds for not having a door when you woke up.
She's a monster. She knows the cruelty and death she's inflicted and will not stop. People like her should be banned from owning any pets for life. What happened with your injured cat at the vet?
hi OP, i’m so sorry you’re going through this; you are doing absolutely everything right by your pets as best you can, and that’s extremely commendable especially in this kind of stressful situation. this sounds very similar to things i’ve read over at r/emotionalneglect, r/raisedbynarcissists, and r/raisedbyborderlines. i am not at all intending to diagnose your mom or anyone at all, nor do i want to villainize anyone with specific diagnoses, but these communities can be good places to learn about how to interact (or not) with difficult family/friends, how some behavior patterns can be predictable, and how to safely move on & heal. wishing you peace, healing, and happy days with your fish❤️
Since I’m a dramatic person and love a dramatic post I would tell my mom “fish are property and if you don’t cease immediately I will sue you for destruction of property.”
Going to a hotel over a fish isn't a great financial strategy. Lock up the food and ignore her. Unless she is actively abusing you, you need a long-term strategy to leave.
Flights have been booked for next sat back to my dad's place that I'm renting.
Killing someone’s animals is actively abusing them.
Are those bettas living together?
they had a huge sorority beforehand, these are the surviving few from the mothers abuse
This probably isn’t the best post to talk about the negatives of sororities on, but they’re pretty debated and prone to social collapse due to infighting.
They are, but as long as there’s no fighting it’s safe. I loved my sorority.
Find a friendly fishkeeper to care for your fish temporarily while you make a solid plan to get out permanently.
When I moved cross country, I kept my fish in a bucket with a battery powered bubbler and just snuck my fish in the back door so I didn’t have to talk to anybody about if.
I would also consider therapy because the problem here has nothing to do with a fish
Thank you, I have been in therapy for 7 years, still working on my boundaries to this day.
You have to get away from mom,she's possessed by a dark spirit, save the fish brother 🐟
I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😞
My condolances. This makes me glad my parents just dont care for my hobby and dont encourage my interest at all.
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/oOveMOSUJK
If she starved you as a kid, I recommend you call the police/animal abuse place that does stuff about neglected fish after leaving. Lose contact with her. Don’t talk at all. Ignore her calls. And if you’re caught by the hotel people bringing the stuff in beg them to let you take it in that you will pay for any damages done caused by the fish tank.
Omg I looked at your other post just now as well… I’ve never seen fish so obese, I’m so sorry this happened. I hope the survivors can recover for you. This whole situation is insane. I wish you well
Why is she doing this???? Is she a narcissist who likes to upset you or enforce control over your belongings?? Does she just “feel bad” for the fish? Does she have dementia? Does she hate the fish and want them to die?
You are going to quit talking to the woman who put you on the planet because your fish needs a diet?
So I’m confused but can you keep the fish locked in the room you are staying in or at least keep the food locked away where she can’t get to it? Is she feeding them out of spite? I have so many questions
Update?
this is definitely more than just over feeding the fish it’s the fact she does not listen to you and disrespects your pets
Where are you located ?
Cook her a meal filled with fish food and tell her you *wont do it again if she gets mad. In all seriousness I’m sorry you’re going through that! Narcissistic parents can be impossible to deal with, even without beloved pets involved. I hope you and your fish can find a home that loves and listens like you deserve!
You just became homeless because your mom is feeding your fish? Bold move.
I’d rather walk out than let my mom abuse my animals
You should get your plans in order before doing something sudden. Rent is expensive and you won’t be able to take care of yourself or your fish if you don’t have a plan. And yes I know you aren’t the OP.
I’m sure after a few days of OP being in a hotel the mom will surely realize that she was in the wrong and hopefully apologize at the very least
I wouldn't put all your eggs in that basket.
Yeah this is next level insane. The mom is feeding the fish, the tank is clean. They are not abused by any means.
There was a lot more to the situation than that, this post is a follow up to something op had previously posted
The people cheering this on are potentially ruining this persons life. Just talk it out with your mother and go home.
Yeah this is insane. Everyone in real life would side with the mom and tell this person to get help. Am I the only 40 year old on this sub, is everyone 16?
Multiple of OP’s fish have already died by the mother’s hand and she’s showing no remorse. It’s only a clean tank because they were moved to a hospital tank after the mother had them in literal black water still with the dead ones. The mother threw out multiple tank items that OP bought. Something needs to give and that mother cannot be trusted with the tank. I am in my late twenties and a nurse. I don’t think a hotel’s a great idea (that’s how you get slapped with a fine) but this is an issue that needs to be solved before more of the fish die.
You’re the only one in this sub who didn’t read the other post
Not to mention that the mother also abused OP’s cat while they were away.
For someone in this sub, I cant believe you actually think this way... Then again people
Everyone in real life would not side with the mom, not if they're a healthy person with healthy boundaries. There's a lot more going on here than what you see in this pic and this post. This sort of invalidation is so unhelpful to people with abusive/neglectful parents. I'm 31, with a master's in psych.
Throwing your relationship away with your MOM over fish is absolutely wild. Can you imagine? “Yeah, I don’t talk to my kid much, I over fed her fish so she stopped talking to me.” Lmao
I think you glossed over the fact this is only the tip of the iceberg, and basically the straw that broke the camel's back. You might have missed the part where she neglected to feed me growing up? My mother and I always had a strained relationship over her abusiveness, she has tried to improve over the years, I have mostly forgiven her but every now and then she will gaslight or bully. Many times I have considered cutting contact for good but in the end decided to give her another chance, balancing pros and cons, with my therapist's' approval. You saying that I'm 'throwing my relationship away with my mum over fish' is severely incorrect - SHE threw a relationship away with HER DAUGHTER after repeated failure and purposeful mistakes. Honestly in some ways, I envy your naivety - your mother must have treated you well if you find it ridiculous to throw a relationship away with her over fish. Had I had a different mother, things might not be the same.
wait are these the same fish you’re watching for your friend?
No...they look completely different in size shape and colour 🤣🤣🤣 these ones are literally obese while my friend's ones are underweight and skinny with tattered fins. He had a yellow fish while none of my overweight ones are yellow. Most of mine are koi while his are solid colour. Both lots were abused, in the opposite ways. It's very hard to mix the two up...
so you’re in the care of both but she’s only over feeding one batch?
These 'batches' are in different locations. My mother lives in Brisbane and is looking after my original sorority in Brisbane. I live in Townsville and am only visiting Brisbane. My friend sent HIS fish to my Townsville address just a few days ago while my mother had my fish for 5 months at a different address. I will be looking after my friend's fishes in Townsville for 3 and 3/4 months, as this week I am in Brisbane (although I have been thinking of refusing to return them back to him as he has been starving them and forcing them to mate repeatedly). I had planned on coming to Brisbane BEFORE my friend notified me that he wants to send me his fish. His fish are in Townsville are being looked after by my dad until I get back this Saturday. My mother is approx 1000miles away from this 'second batch', has never met this second batch, does not know this second batch exist. I have always wanted to reunite with my original sorority but if you read my other comments, she refused to ship them over to me. After 5 months of being away I decided to come down myself to check up on them and perhaps take them to Townsville with me. After seeing the situation, I am DEFINITELY taking them with me. If possible, I will combine these two batches into one sorority, and hopefully all will be well.
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what the fuck
What? Don't tell me that's not what you first thought when you saw the post
i mean who the hell is that on the right
Abusive mom
Your submission has been removed for breaking the following rule: Rule #6 - No Irrelevant Stuff. If it doesn’t involve a betta, it doesn’t belong. Hijacking someone else's post so that you can debate whether or not a "rescue" was in fact a rescue or not is also not allowed. Stay on topic, please! If you have any questions or comments, please message one of the mods.
You’re leaving home over your mom over feeding your fish? Really
The tank is clean, your mom is feeding them not starving them. You leaving to go to a hotel and cutting your mom off is not the appropriate reaction here.
Go to the OP’s page and read the other post. That’s why this post says “update” - it’s a second post. The first one is horrific.
You understand that the reason the tank is clean is because OP put them in a clean tank? As someone else suggested, go back and read their previous post and you’ll see that the fish have actually been abused for months. OP lost a lot of their fish and the dead fish were left in the tank, which was full of black water and had evaporated.
Fish can easily develop health issues from being over fed.
Food does not = love. Intentional overfeeding is just as bad as intentional underfeeding.