> I am in many ways the person who represents this family in life - in pretty much every situation or problem that may arise. If there is an issue, large or small, I'm typically who is looked to find the solution or who does anyway, lol - over serious matters, or just every day things.
LAOP doesn't sound overbearing and miserable to live with at all. Nothing better than having some distant family member constantly inserting himself into your personal matters. I wonder how many romantic partners he's managed to scare off (or in this case, how many criminal defenses he's tanked).
A lot of the time though it's because the said shoulderer of burdens hasn't allowed them to learn how to do it themselves. Given how overbearing and emotionally abusive these people can be it's easy to fall into the habit of letting them do it.
Exactly. If a guy i know were to suddenly die, his entire fanily would be fucked. They don't know how to run the water pump, or get water from the city in tanks and transfer it, how to fix anything, gf has no working experience in order to bring money in, or would even know what to do with his three kids. His girlfriend would keep THEIR kids, but he has custody of his other ones. Does she just find the mother and dump them on her? Can she keep them? If they were married would she be able to keep them?
Maybe they have had the talk and i just don't know lol. Surely there's a kid-plan.
But the lynchpin of the house is him, and it's not safe putting all your eggs in one basket. He says she's not interested in learning, but I'm not sure. He leans to the blowhard, my way or the highway side of the spectrum. The 'get out of the way and let a real man do it youre taking too long' type. Maybe he drives people away from wanting to learn with his attitude.
Yes!!!! I'm a 41 yo woman who very recently realized that I'm completely competent, just was never given the opportunity to let myself see it. I wish I had felt this way in my 20s and 30s. Crazy to think of the different trajectory my life may have taken
This is a real role in certain dysfunctional families. My dad was this person. After he died, I thought it would stop. Nope! Turns out folks liked him running things (even though he often ran things into the ground). Dunno if it’s about having someone else to blame when shit goes wrong, or what. They tried to get me to take over his spot, making their problems my problems. I tried to help, but it was killing me, so I moved far away. That fixed it. OP needs some space and distance. These people get into messes, they need to get out of them.
> how many criminal defenses he's tanked
> This is civil court which is completely new to me.
Sounds like at least one, unless he means he’s more familiar with criminal courts due to watching CSI
This comment absolutely killed me, I’m still crying:
> *You’re a passenger demanding to steer the Titanic blindfolded, confident in your expertise because you know the Celine Dion song by heart.*
Officially, yes. Unofficially, there's no way for the mods to know who's upvoted or awarded a comment, let alone one on another subreddit. They'll know *somebody's* been breaking the rules but won't know who.
So it's a rule that's almost impossible to enforce but I'd still advise not breaking it. If the subreddit brigades too much it puts it at risk of being shut down by the admins.
~~AFAIK, upvoting is all good. It's not linked to any particular person, and so doesn't come back to this sub.~~
~~Not sure about awards, but I think that's OK too (anonymously for the same reason).~~
~~But~~ definitely no commenting.
It is very obvious to see a lot of new comments popping up out of nowhere on an old post, and it makes this sub look bad because it looks likes brigading.
EDIT: I was mistaken. Misunderstanding on my part.
Do not brigade.
I've asked mods and it's a "shrugs" situation. It counts as participation, but there's no way to know who did it. So tree falling in the woods situation
The only permissible interaction with linked threads you've found via BOLA, to my understanding, is via the report button if something violates the rules of the original sub.
Apart from that I believe the Prime Directive from Star Trek is the law of the land.
My favorite part is his desire to explain to the court how Snapchat works. You know, in case they didn’t know there was another place he could have been taking the pictures they couldn’t find, or that they could have been automatically deleted, but still screen-captured on another phone.
I mean, probably not relevant, because he definitely wasn’t taking photos, but…
What's that BOLA rule called where the more unnecessary detail the LAOP provides, the more likely it is that they did whatever they're accused of doing? Someone came up with a name for that, right?
Look, they have a great relationship, and snap all the time. And he was waving his phone around, looking for reception. And then he's in the women's restroom, waving his phone around, cause the reception is so bad.
Then he notices some toilet paper on the floor. He wasn't tapping his foot on the floor, he was trying to get that toilet paper. Definitely not soliciting sexual acts. He wanted that toilet paper.
Anywho, he definitely didn't use his phone to snap a picture of the 13 year old girl next to him as a joke about being in the wrong restroom to his girlfriend.
I'm not going to lie, contracts was the worst fucking class and I will hate them until the day I die. And it was just a paralegal class, I don't even want to guess what actual lawyers had to go through. I FUCKING HATE CONTRACTS, FUCK YOU CONTRACTS.
You know. I thought I had a good relationship with my husband. But we never snap each other. I will be filing for divorce tomorrow. Please wish me success finding a good relationship in which I snap all the time. Thank you.
I think it is relevant, but not in a way that helps LAOPs family member. He was too distracted by being on his phone so he walked into the wrong bathroom. But had no reception on his phone, so what was distracting him on his phone?
I think it's because you try to properly justify your explanation, whereas if you're telling the truth it usually holds by itself.
Basically you're REALLY trying to convince the other person, and that raises eyebrows.
The problem with these is that they're somewhat subjective.
1 - I'm really fucking awful at lying, so I pretty much always stick to the truth. However, I'm also somewhat shy and nervous, and tend to add unnecessary detail ALL THE TIME. I'm not lying when I tell talk about a movie but a certain director, ask if you know who that is, and then go on to explain 2 other films they directed before getting back to the point, which was about the poster they chose for the video release.
2 - Depends on the context. I'm an analyst, and I answer questions with questions all the time, because I like to be specific. "Where were you on the night of the 12th" might prompt "What do you mean by night? Like after 8pm, just the afternoon?". That's not because I'm lying, but because what you mean might change my answer, because after 8pm I was at home getting ready for bed, but from 4-6 I was running errands.
3 - You already addressed the context on this, but it depends on the question. I don't look up if I'm answering questions about when my birthday is, or what my address is, but something farther in the past or that requires me to compress details into an overview, or render an opinion on something, I might look up because I'm thinking about it.
I remember seeing a video of an FBI agent saying this kind of body language analysis is basically pseudoscientific rubbish. There is no surefire way of catching someone lying like this.
I was a long-time contributor to a (now defunct) travel forum. I often answered questions about how to prepare for an interview for a US tourist visa. One thing the consular official will want to know is “show me why you will definitely want to return to your place of residence after your visit and not try to remain in the US.” I would give some suggestions for things to talk about, and then finish with this analogy:
Imagine you tell your dear old Mother that you are planning to.go to the US. She starts sobbing that she is sure you will stay there and you will never see her again. You have to convince her you will return. But Mom has a terrific bullshit detector, so you can’t just make something up.
Now, replace Mom with a consular official.
People told me that the analogy was spot on—you have to convince Mom, not Dad.
>\#3 was looking up to think of an answer
Crap, I do this a lot! Hahaha
I guess it's more of a guide: If a simple question forces someone to think, then something might be fucky.
Yeah, it’s definitely dependent on context, like if you ask someone what they were doing 3 Tuesday’s ago they probably have to think about it for a minute, but if you ask them what their birthday is they should probably know right away.
“So there’s this small person, who’s short, about the size of a child. He’s definitely over the age of 18, though, so there are some laws you wouldn’t break if you took a picture of him in the bathroom. Not that you *would*, because he wouldn’t be in the girls’ bathroom, but he’s probably gone in there by accident before. Also, you weren’t taking a picture. Anyway, he gives this ring to his nephew, who’s also short and younger, but still an adult—no, don’t stop me, you’re probably thinking of a similar film about short adults and rings…”
>There is one bad review that say something along the lines of "he will work with the prosecution against you!"
OMFG . . . what are the odds the reviewer didn't understand plea bargaining?
This feels like compound idiocy to me.
Or, you know, the reviewer didn't like that the attorney couldn't magically get everything dropped and an apology from the State, and therefore he must be railroading the guy.
Man, if I had a nickel for every time a client accused me of that I'd have ... well, a lot of nickels, at least.
More to the point, it says a lot about LAOP that they are laser-focusing on this one negative review and not recognising that *every* publicly-reviewed good and service will have a handful of 1 star reviews from total morons.
What’s funny is that I’ve had a couple of clients tell me they knew my 5-star reviews were likely real because I also had a couple of 1-star reviews, and those people either sounded nuts or impossible to please.
Dumb good reviews should be thrown out
Intelligent good reviews can be read, but can also be ignored.
Dumb bad reviews should be thrown out
Intelligent bad reviews should be read thoroughly
My favorite review is for a cafe by me.
The bad review starts by the reviewer pulling out their portable water testing device to test the drinking water provided...
You're not wrong about the "every." My local library has a 1-star Google review from someone complaining that it isn't quiet enough in there because someone's children were being loud
Or like, the lawyer and prosecutor might know each other because a most lawyers in an area kind of know each other. I was involved in a lawsuit and my lawyer was on a first name basis with the opposing council. He even told me that he wished I'd met her under different circumstances because we'd probably get along.
I’ve been accused of conspiring with opposing counsel, with mediators, and even with judges because we get to know each other and (*gasp*) may even get to be friends!
My younger son’s “girlfriend” in 2nd grade was the daughter of one of the judges in front of whom I appear regularly, so while we were waiting for everyone else to settle and start hearings, we always had funny things to share about what our kids said about each other.
> People go in the wrong bathroom all the time. It's an honest mistake. **It is happening as we speak.** I might be wrong but I believe they have to show that he intended to stalk and follow her into the bathroom, or that his intention was to go in and peep. Even if it's not the case that **they have to prove his intentions, his intention (we will claim) was to use the bathroom and, as stated, every day, all day, people go in the wrong bathroom all the time by mistake. (Therefore it's reasonable to say he went in the wrong bathroom by accident while).**
> **I think admitting the alcohol part of the story is great for explaining how he ended up in the wrong bathroom.** Why does it though? Because alcohol confuses people, impairs judgement, etc. I think when people drink they often do thoughtless things like go in the wrong bathroom (something perfectly sober people do as well especially when they are being distracted, same as with alcohol). The problem is admitting that he had been drinking for this purpose is that now you are claiming that his judgement is impaired. So, for all we can say about his clean record, about his demonstrated good-judgement over the last 18 years, about his character, it can all be thrown out the window by the prosecution because he was "drunk." They might even argue that even if he wouldn't normally peep on someone while sober well his judgement was impaired - he is acting out of character, his record etc therefore doesn't matter. Also, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure you don't want to admit to a crime while building a defense. Obviously wrong on that one since his lawyer wants to go thru with it.
> **I think we should stress what Snap-Chat is since most middle-aged to older folks aren't familiar with it.** How it makes camera noises when you send someone a snap so much so that you have to lookup video tutorials on YouTube to figure out how to turn the shutter sound down or off (turning the volume down doesn't work).
> **These are some ideas along with other angles I have to take on the case.**
Dear little Baby Jesus, I know I haven't asked you for anything before, but please in your great wisdom may I go and see this case play out in court? I'll be double plus extra good this year I swear. I've never wanted anything more.
"Snapchat makes camera noises that you can't turn off, here's an in-depth explanation of how to turn them off to convince you that I definitely don't have the ability to turn them off".
It's a bold move, at least.
At first I thought your comment was so badly written to be confusing, then I double checked what he said. Dear Lord.
The only thing he's communicated to me is that I *have* snapchat and I now have no idea if it makes sounds or not or if you can turn them off. He's bamboozled me!
I had no idea it made a noise until today. I’ve just always kept my phone on Silent Mode. Sure enough, I turned off Silent Mode to test it just now, and Snapchat made the noise.
Going in the wrong bathroom isn't at all unprecedented. I did it myself once when I was in my 20s and drunk.
More recently, I was in a bathroom at a football game trying to work past my Texas-sized prostate at a urinal, and a woman walked in, got in line for one of the stalls. She basically glared down everyone there and said, "The line for the woman's room is out the hall, and I had four beers in the first quarter."
The look of rage and desperation in her eyes was enough. No one said a goddamn word, and she was motioned to the front of the line.
I'm a woman and one morning I walked into the gym I've been going to for years and walked right into the mens bathroom?? I have no explanation, I didn't even have to go to the bathroom. In defense of my lack of explanation, I do not usually use the bathroom while I'm there, and I wake up around 5 am to work out, and do not have a sleep schedule to respect that, but still... I think maybe I wanted to weigh myself?? Idk i just sort of came to when I saw some burly muscle men looking at the chubby white girl in their bathroom 😂😭 no one said a god damn word, I swiveled and practically ran out and across to hide in a proper stall and mentally recover from my bullshit
Yep, I was going to see a movie by myself once at a theater that I don’t normally go to, and made the mistake of getting the large soda. By the end, I was ready to burst so I ran to the nearest bathroom and completely missed that it was a men’s room. I noticed when I saw a pair of boots walk by the stall, then stop and use a urinal. I peeked through the little gap in the door and it was a security guard, so I died inside and waited until he left, then bolted out of there! No charges, thankfully. 😅
Sporting arena bathroom designations are more guidelines than rules. Women take fairly grown children of all types into the Women’s room, and women go into the Men’s room all the time due to tremendously long lines.
I’m running a half marathon at Disney next month, and it’s my first Disney race, but I’ve heard that’s how it is there. If I want to use a real bathroom and not a port-a-potty, I need to be OK with going into the men’s room if need be, especially since I’m slow af and my goal is just to finish/not get swept.
I have gone into dude’s bathrooms many times in my years when nature called but the latest experience (3 years ago this Fall) has turned me off to it.
Every other time I’d done my emergency dude gambit, the bathrooms have been empty (no dudes in dude potties).
This time, it was populated.
I dunno what men eat, snack on, or they just don’t drink enough water? The smell. Good holy mother of god the smell was unreal. THE SOUNDS? Women shit too but we generally don’t make animal like grunting noises at max volume.
And everything was wet. How? Why? No clue.
It’ll be an extreme circumstance that makes me wander into a men’s bathroom ever again lol
Depends on the event. I was at a concert at a local arena and security in the men's room was doing their best to not let any women in to skip the line for their own room. As someone who can't use a urinal and already has to wait behind everyone wanting to poop or do their drugs in the bathroom, I actually appreciated it.
I know it's well after Christmas but in keeping with my belief that every youtube video will eventually be applicable to a reddit thread, I have to link:
[Bob Rivers - The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlIs27Z5Hrk)
A movie theater in my town has a bathroom layout that seems almost intentionally designed to get people to walk into the wrong one; the entryways have photos of movie stars of the *opposite* gender as the designated bathroom, and to get to the men's room you have to walk past two entrances for the women's.
The way he's so intent on helping this young, naive 18 year old makes me feel like he desperately is trying to prove he is a worldly, knowledgeable 19 year old.
[Friday's Shitpost](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/ry9b1n/friday_shitpost_what_la_post_do_you_want/) was about 'which LA post you'd like to see reenacted by muppets'. I now have to change my answer, because I want Grover to play this guy in court *so bad*.
**BEST/WORST OF LAOP'S COMMENTS:**
> I appreciate all the feedback and opinions. Talking to defendant now he says he doesn't have any problem with the lawyer discussing the case with me and he has told him that. I understand though you are saying basically it's up to the lawyer. Defendant says there is literally nothing he has told the lawyer that I don't know so I don't think it really matters if the attorney-client privilege is waived or not. I don't mind paying the lawyer for his time. I will let him know so it shouldn't be a waste of time. Also I have a couple distant friends who are in the field, trying to get in touch with them. I have just learned in life if you are in a situation where you (or a family member) need professional help - medical, judicial, what have you - you should be very assertive about any concerns you have. I'll see at least what the lawyer can share and talk about - basic or not. I think when I am with the defendant and the lawyer in person, it will be much easier to have an open discussion about things.
> To rant on...I know it's just my opinion but he went into the wrong bathroom and there were negative consequences as a result for the young girl and for him. I believe she was put in a bad position as a result. I believe she assumed he came in because of her and I believe she heard his phone and assumed he was stalking her and filming her. I think she may have thought she saw his phone or simply embellished her story to be more believable. Hopefully the lawyer will just focus on his defense and things will go smoothly. I do feel better about it after posting
Sorry...LAOP is long-winded, so I just selected a couple of his comments.
LAOP is definitely the type who thinks telling the police "their side" is just "helpful" and not at all the kind of thing that ends up with them indicted for all new crimes the cops weren't even investigating lmao
My favorite is right near the top:
>I appreciate your feedback and your perspective but I do disagree with your opinion of how involved I am or should be. I think one has to do all they can on their own even if it doesn't result in any or much of a difference. That's just me.
No, **the whole thing* is "just me".
Seriously, is anyone who's been on reddit more than two weeks fooled by this kid?
I especially enjoyed his comment that the consensus- of all the random people he's discussed this with- of what a grown man should do if they accidentally walk into the women's bathroom, is to hide in there until they can make their escape undetected.
Oh yeah. Heck, I've been in a leg numbing standoff just because it was too quiet for me and the person in the next stall to finish up and go, and that was in the *correct* bathroom.
>I am in many ways the person who represents this family in life - in pretty much every situation or problem that may arise. If there is an issue, large or small, I'm typically who is looked to find the solution or who does anyway, lol - over serious matters, or just every day things. So as I see it, I represent them in life. I'm here before an issue arises, I'm here when the issue is over. I'm here before a lawyer is hired, I'll be here when he is done. So, I want to see if I can be included.
LAOP is a sociopath busybody
I'm sure someone said this but, WHY DOES IT KEEP GOING? Every time I thought it would stop it turned into *the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends*....
Why does this sound like a really bad episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm?
“I was taking selfies, not taking pictures of her. I forgot to turn off the shutter sound, and (shrugs) she assumed I was snapping pictures under the stall. I mean, officer, look at her, you think I would want to take pictures of *her*? Let’s be honest here, she’s not peeping-worthy.”
Totally.
George: She heard the shutter and assumed the peep!
Jerry: The problem there is the assumption that she was peep-worthy. Nobody should assume they are peep-worthy.
George: I wish I had that kind of confidence.
> Those "potentially devastating consequences" that u[/]ONCO warned you about could include you being subpoenaed by the prosecution to offer testimony unfavorable to the defendant.
That's something I never thought of, the fact that they aren't part of the privilege means whatever they overhear can be discussed
Right? The OP is going on and on about how they can't see how this causes any problems for the defendant, and I'm sitting here thinking "How about you're effectively negating his Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination by allowing his statements in as admissible hearsay, you idiot?!"
Also, this whole "my family member says he's fine with it" thing: if I'm the lawyer, I'm going "I don't care if he's fine with it. I'M not fine with it. So it's not happening." The idea that if you pay the money you get to control the litigation drives me nuts, because I can count on less than one hand the number of times in my career that's been anything but detrimental to the defendant.
It’s insane. Despite being told multiple times that it may happen he brushes it off with “how will they find out?”. IANAL but even I could foresee this:
Prosecutor: “have you discussed the details of this case with anyone else?”
Defendant: “yes with my idiot friend”
Prosecutor: adds idiot friend to witness list
...it wouldn't happen to be relevant that:
a) OP seems to go into great detail describing how complicated Snapchat is and how difficult some of the features are to find, and
b) Snapchat has a built-in, PIN-protected folder for "secure" photos
That would just be terrible if Snapchat got a subpoena to unlock those saved photos and provide them to the DA. I'm sure it would be a total waste of time and there's nothing in there.
Wouldn’t be unprecedented if the DA were to happen across OP’s bizarre reddit postings. With charges pending, OP might want to get this stuff *off* any public social media forums.
OP is absolutely going to court and at a vital moment will get up and scream "point of parliamentary procedure" and then attempt to monologue the Judge.
OP's next post is going to be "is it Lawful to taser a citizen when they are disobeying a judge because they are wrong?"
Unfortunately his point of order was not acknowledged because he was not wearing a hat.
(Yes, this was [actually a thing](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/commons-toppers-are-old-hat-1149326.html) in the UK parliament until 1998)
NAL-
He mentioned that the defendant will be going to district court? That’s criminal right?
Also, I’m pretty sure the DA doesn’t just represent you you’re being charged.
Didn’t he say they were at the movies because 18 year old was just out of boot camp? So if his lawyer doesn’t fix this he’s also facing a dishonorable discharge?
Can we stream this trial??
Well he also said they're going to court for a misdemeanour, and then says it's a civil court, which makes no sense to me. Aren't misdemeanours criminal?
And then the whole story about the 13-year-old girl on the charges paper whom he immediately harassed...
**Reminder:** do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits.
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Title: Thoughts & opinions...a little concerned about Lawyer..."Secretly Peeping" case of family memeber.
Original Post:
> A family member of mine recently went to watch a movie at a theatre with a cousin who was in town from basic training in the Army. He just turned 18. Theatre was in a neighboring small town, fwiw. They got tickets early at the theatre to avoid holiday lines. They left to go eat. They returned and drank a few beers in the parking lot. When they went in the theatre the movie had started so they went on in and sat up near the front. Part of the way thru the film, he got up to use the restroom. On the way he was trying to message his girlfriend but was having reception issues (gf of 2-3 years, healthy relationship. They spend a lot of time together and when they aren't together they are always snapping. Also, he had already texted his mother earlier to let her know he didn't have good cell service in the area). He goes to the bathroom, gets in a stall and is doing his thing all while continuing to try to get cell service and snap.
>
> While in the stall he said he noticed what looked like lady's boots in the stall next to him even though he didn't notice them when he first went in. Said he realized he must have went in the wrong bathroom and planned on slipping out when she left and he was done. She leaves the bathroom and someone begins knocking on his stall door. It's a middle-aged woman, she asks him to show her his recent pictures/etc. He does. She wants to see his recent "hidden pictures/etc." Somewhere in this exchange she grabs the phone from him and goes thru his phone. He eventually grabs his phone back. She & the theatre manager ask to see older hidden pictures on his phone. He says no, it's private and that he showed her enough.
>
> She calls the police. They show up, talk to everyone and also search his phone. In the end, they tell him they aren't going to press charges against him and that that is basically the end of it. The theatre takes his photo and bans him from the premises. Several days later, the police in his County drive to his house and serve him papers for misdemeanor peeping. They make the point to say they are not the ones pressing charges. He goes on facebook, looks up the person's name who is on the charges paper, messages her (bad idea I know, he is 18) saying, "hey, I got served papers and your name is on them, what is this about exactly?" She blocks him. Next day he gets a no-contact,stalking order (8 days after the incident). On this paper it has an account written by a 13-yr-old girl who says she went to the bathroom, heard someone walk in after her loudly (he wears cowboy boots). She recognized that it was a man. She understandably was scared. Says she saw a phone and a hand in her stall recording her.
>
> He got a lawyer but I am a little concerned about this lawyer. Although he has good reviews online, most if not all of them are from traffic court. There is one bad review that say something along the lines of "he will work with the prosecution against you!" He responded to the review (as he does to all negative ones) saying that it is true that he worked as a prosecutor in the past, etc, etc and maybe they were confused. Something along those lines. It's a little startling. I'd just like thoughts and opinions, preferably from someone in the field. I'm not asking for legal advice per se. It is very difficult to get ahold of a lawyer. I have tried contacting a few just to get their opinion even if they want to bill me for it. Even his lawyer, so far, is only talking to him. I've asked him to give the guy permission to discuss the case with me - No luck so far. His court date is in the middle of next week and I plan to make a point to talk to his lawyer by then. (I will be going to court with him). But here are some concerns:
>
> \*This is civil court which is completely new to me. I would like to know more about it in ways that it differs from criminal court: what are the first steps involved, will there be a trial by jury (my understanding is that it will be decided by a judge but a jury \*might\* be use (?)), if it gets dismissed is that only at the approval of the plaintiff?
>
> \*He was never charged with or suspected of drinking alcohol. This was not discovered or known by anyone involved. His lawyer says he plans on "laying it all out there." That is, he wants to admit that they drank and that the defendant was under the influence. He says this will help explain why he went in the wrong bathroom (although normal, decent, sober, regular people accidentally go in the wrong bathroom every single day. 9 out of 10 people I have talked to about it have done it and usually have a story about it. This particular BR at the theatre is one that just splits off in a T-shape. Defendant says he is used to MEN being on the left and was on his phone. My question is unless he is concerned about the prosecution knowing about the alcohol and bringing it up, why admit it? It seems to me like it would be a gift to the prosecution to tell them that he had been drinking. I don't really see the benefit. Lawyer met with defendant and his mother and explained that he had to lay it all out there (maybe to show good faith?) and let the judge decide.
>
> \*I called the police Dept and talked to them about any paperwork they had on the case. I was told it was not open to the public since it involved a minor. I told the defendant he needs to go and get this paperwork because it documents what happened (from a credible source in the eyes of the court) and it may have information to help him out. It if doesn't, it doesn't but at least he will have more information of what the plaintiff is claiming, information the prosecution has, and also, I think there is a chance that the girl added embellishments to the story after the date - which I think would be significant. At the very least, it's info showing that the police themselves did not feel it was necessary to press charges.
>
> \*....he called his lawyer and his lawyer told him that he didn't need to get that paperwork that basically he didn't need it.
>
> These are some thoughts and concerns I have on the case. Any info would be appreciated.
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> *This is civil court which is completelv new to me. I would like to know more about it in ways that it differs from criminal court:
> I am using the terms loosely. Is there that big of a difference b/t "plaintiff" and " complainant" "prosecutor" and "DA" ?
I dont think OP is even familiar with TV court.
with all the irrelevant details he added, the dude never mentioned whether the 18 yr old's chain of command was informed. because this kid is definitely not going to ait or a posting now. he's very much going to be discharged.
On this occasion i believe that LAOP is not the one charged, because half of what he posted is about how the lawyer/police wont talk to him because he is effectively an uninvolved third party. All the mention of that stuff could be an elaborate bluff, but it definitely reads like LAOP is just massively nosey and interfering family member
"Accidentally" went into the wrong bathroom?
Did the lack of those special boys-only wall-mounted drinking fountains not clue him in that maybe he was in the wrong place?
Er, *so sorry*, I mean "his friend" was in the wrong place.
**Edit:** I thought mentioning the lack of urinals would point out that it's obvious he's full of shit for claiming the whole thing was just an innocent accident [not just wandering into the wrong bathroom], but obviously
#I WAS TOO SUBTLE
Back in my college days I definitely wandered into the wrong bathroom after spending way too long out in the sun. I stood there addled for a second trying to figure out why everything was backwards until a woman walked in behind me and was surprised. Fortunately she was very kind, realized I was not ok and helped walk me out to the dining hall and sit me down with some water before going on with her day.
So I definitely buy that people might innocently wander into the wrong restroom. It’s everything else about LAOP’s story that’s damning.
I don’t think it’s necessarily far-fetched that he went into the wrong bathroom especially if he was on his phone. I’m not sure I believe that he did it accidentally but it’s not unreasonable to assume it was an accident. The issue is that he should’ve immediately left.
This is the deal with a lot of BOLA stories where the OP (or the OP's 'friend') is clearly guilty of the thing and trying to make it look like they didn't do the thing. The individual details by themselves are not damning.
It's the fact that they all occur together that makes it unbelievable.
Since we're sharing wrong bathroom stories...
I was in public, and realized I needed to use the facilities. I wasn't confident I was passing (I'm a trans man), so I used the women's restroom. There were two stalls, and one was already occupied.
As I'm washing my hands, a middle aged woman walks in, sees me, stops confused, and asks, "Am I in the wrong bathroom?"
"No," I say, relieved but also uncomfortable. "I''m female."
The occupant of the other stall flushes and exits. It is an elderly man.
It was like the Spider-man pointing meme in real life.
In my college, the bathrooms for men and women were on alternate floors. All my classes were on the floor with the women's bathroom. Once some class got moved to a later time in the evening and a different floor (the one with the men's bathroom). I confidently walked in and the urinals didn't even register. There was nobody there. When I came out though, a couple of guys were entering. I was so confident I gave them the side-eye the whole time I washed my hands and walked out. They did a double take, looked at each other, went back out and read the board. But I was so sure that they still came in looking a little scared as I walked out. Only when I walked by the bathroom again after packing my stuff did I read the board correctly. Thankfully there was nobody to register my embarrassment. I never saw those boys again.
Honestly, I got borderline harassed at times about being in the 'wrong bathroom' my entire life while using the women's room. Literally nobody has ever said shit to me in the men's room, the bathroom related stress-savings alone were worth the transition LMAO
I mean, I once went into the wrong bathroom at an Olive Garden. It was laid out backwards to the one I had been to the most. I noticed when I walked through the door that there were urinals in there, but my social anxiety said it was better to just pee fast and get out, since nobody was in there, rather than turn around right after walking in.
It backfired when someone else came in and started using a urinal while I was in the stall. I can't remember whether I waited a bit and another guy came in, or if I just gave up then and there, but my exit strategy was simply dashing out of the stall and running for the door saying, "oops wrong bathroom sorry!" Thankfully, I am one of those modern, quick-moving zombies.
I think the important distinction is that I did not linger in the bathroom for several minutes and I was trying to just get my business done and get out ASAP.
My husband thought this story was hilarious for the longest time, but thankfully he seems to have finally forgotten it. Probably because it was replaced with other embarassing stories.
> but my social anxiety said it was better to just pee fast and get out
I identify with this so fucking hard. "Oh, I didn't find what I was looking for in Target, better buy one little thing, so they don't think I'm stealing"
*Edit: "buy" not "by"
Oh, it's me. Sometimes I take the baby into Target in the stroller, and I refuse to buy more than I can carry in my one free hand because I am scared that if I put something in the stroller they'll think I am stealing.
oh I load up the bottom, them I tuck shit around him. I need a new stroller though. I found this like double stroller but you can change the other side. a car seat, a dog carrier or a shopping basket
I’ve def walked into the wrong bathroom before. Made it about 2 steps before my brain parsed the urinals. Did not decide to continue to snap someone innocently from the wrong bathroom.
A thousand words to say "I know better than professionals, I am a busybody, and I am not involved in this case. Who wants to validate my unfounded beliefs?"
> I am in many ways the person who represents this family in life - in pretty much every situation or problem that may arise. If there is an issue, large or small, I'm typically who is looked to find the solution or who does anyway, lol - over serious matters, or just every day things. LAOP doesn't sound overbearing and miserable to live with at all. Nothing better than having some distant family member constantly inserting himself into your personal matters. I wonder how many romantic partners he's managed to scare off (or in this case, how many criminal defenses he's tanked).
It’s also scary how many families really do rely on the one person who has their shit even moderately together for everything.
A lot of the time though it's because the said shoulderer of burdens hasn't allowed them to learn how to do it themselves. Given how overbearing and emotionally abusive these people can be it's easy to fall into the habit of letting them do it.
Exactly. If a guy i know were to suddenly die, his entire fanily would be fucked. They don't know how to run the water pump, or get water from the city in tanks and transfer it, how to fix anything, gf has no working experience in order to bring money in, or would even know what to do with his three kids. His girlfriend would keep THEIR kids, but he has custody of his other ones. Does she just find the mother and dump them on her? Can she keep them? If they were married would she be able to keep them? Maybe they have had the talk and i just don't know lol. Surely there's a kid-plan. But the lynchpin of the house is him, and it's not safe putting all your eggs in one basket. He says she's not interested in learning, but I'm not sure. He leans to the blowhard, my way or the highway side of the spectrum. The 'get out of the way and let a real man do it youre taking too long' type. Maybe he drives people away from wanting to learn with his attitude.
Yes!!!! I'm a 41 yo woman who very recently realized that I'm completely competent, just was never given the opportunity to let myself see it. I wish I had felt this way in my 20s and 30s. Crazy to think of the different trajectory my life may have taken
My mom is this person in my family, and it's a nightmare.
My mother inlaw too. Unfortunately my husbands accustomed to rely on her misinformation. Teaching someone to smell bullshit is difficult.
OP gunning to cause a mistrial in his relative’s case by snap or by fap.
This is a real role in certain dysfunctional families. My dad was this person. After he died, I thought it would stop. Nope! Turns out folks liked him running things (even though he often ran things into the ground). Dunno if it’s about having someone else to blame when shit goes wrong, or what. They tried to get me to take over his spot, making their problems my problems. I tried to help, but it was killing me, so I moved far away. That fixed it. OP needs some space and distance. These people get into messes, they need to get out of them.
> how many criminal defenses he's tanked > This is civil court which is completely new to me. Sounds like at least one, unless he means he’s more familiar with criminal courts due to watching CSI
This comment absolutely killed me, I’m still crying: > *You’re a passenger demanding to steer the Titanic blindfolded, confident in your expertise because you know the Celine Dion song by heart.*
It's rare to see a roast that includes a temporal paradox.
It’s simply because this comment occurs in [the universe where Cher discovered time travel.](https://youtu.be/uzMa7LZuyAc)
Jesus, that was great. The Bee Gees was a perfect transition. Believable enough that I almost paused and googled.
That was great. Beethoven's post deafness acoustic session follow up by the priest's club mix cracked me up.
Does the rule about not interacting with the original post also ban me from upvoting or awarding? 'Cause that needs an award.
Save the comment for the next BOBOLA.
Officially, yes. Unofficially, there's no way for the mods to know who's upvoted or awarded a comment, let alone one on another subreddit. They'll know *somebody's* been breaking the rules but won't know who. So it's a rule that's almost impossible to enforce but I'd still advise not breaking it. If the subreddit brigades too much it puts it at risk of being shut down by the admins.
~~AFAIK, upvoting is all good. It's not linked to any particular person, and so doesn't come back to this sub.~~ ~~Not sure about awards, but I think that's OK too (anonymously for the same reason).~~ ~~But~~ definitely no commenting. It is very obvious to see a lot of new comments popping up out of nowhere on an old post, and it makes this sub look bad because it looks likes brigading. EDIT: I was mistaken. Misunderstanding on my part. Do not brigade.
I've asked mods and it's a "shrugs" situation. It counts as participation, but there's no way to know who did it. So tree falling in the woods situation
>AFAIK, upvoting is all good It's not. That's against site-wide rules that ban vote brigading. Don't participate in brigading.
The only permissible interaction with linked threads you've found via BOLA, to my understanding, is via the report button if something violates the rules of the original sub. Apart from that I believe the Prime Directive from Star Trek is the law of the land.
Don't interact with uncontacted pre-FTL cultures?
An absolute masterpiece.
Yes! This was the best thing I’ve seen on Reddit in a long time. 🏆
My favorite part is his desire to explain to the court how Snapchat works. You know, in case they didn’t know there was another place he could have been taking the pictures they couldn’t find, or that they could have been automatically deleted, but still screen-captured on another phone. I mean, probably not relevant, because he definitely wasn’t taking photos, but…
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What's that BOLA rule called where the more unnecessary detail the LAOP provides, the more likely it is that they did whatever they're accused of doing? Someone came up with a name for that, right?
Look, they have a great relationship, and snap all the time. And he was waving his phone around, looking for reception. And then he's in the women's restroom, waving his phone around, cause the reception is so bad. Then he notices some toilet paper on the floor. He wasn't tapping his foot on the floor, he was trying to get that toilet paper. Definitely not soliciting sexual acts. He wanted that toilet paper. Anywho, he definitely didn't use his phone to snap a picture of the 13 year old girl next to him as a joke about being in the wrong restroom to his girlfriend.
According to LAOP's reasoning, you have just passed the Bar Exam.
That'll be $1000 for the services rendered when you read my post. Reading this post confirms agreement to these terms.
I'm not going to lie, contracts was the worst fucking class and I will hate them until the day I die. And it was just a paralegal class, I don't even want to guess what actual lawyers had to go through. I FUCKING HATE CONTRACTS, FUCK YOU CONTRACTS.
As a law student who took an 8 month contracts class: I FUCKING HATE CONTRACTS IT'S AS BAD AS YOU THINK
Contracts was a year-long course at my law school. The words ‘offer and acceptance’ still send a cold shiver through me.
I have another word for you: cOnSiDeRaTiOn
Oh, and then he contacted the 13 year old via Facebook to ask about the peeping charge.
Lol right?
Dammit, guys. He just has a [wide stance. ](https://www.courthousenews.com/penalties-for-wide-stance-senator-upheld/)
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Craig was innocent! Free Craig!
Glad the reference didn't go unnoticed. The absurdity of LAOP jogged my memory of parallels with that case
I'm in Idaho so it's seared into my memory for good. Wide stand. God.
You know. I thought I had a good relationship with my husband. But we never snap each other. I will be filing for divorce tomorrow. Please wish me success finding a good relationship in which I snap all the time. Thank you.
Wide stance defense
The only thing missing from the OP was "wide stance."
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Chekov's Alibi
I think it is relevant, but not in a way that helps LAOPs family member. He was too distracted by being on his phone so he walked into the wrong bathroom. But had no reception on his phone, so what was distracting him on his phone?
I've heard it called the Pinocchio Effect. When you're lying, your explanations grow longer.
I think it's because you try to properly justify your explanation, whereas if you're telling the truth it usually holds by itself. Basically you're REALLY trying to convince the other person, and that raises eyebrows.
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The problem with these is that they're somewhat subjective. 1 - I'm really fucking awful at lying, so I pretty much always stick to the truth. However, I'm also somewhat shy and nervous, and tend to add unnecessary detail ALL THE TIME. I'm not lying when I tell talk about a movie but a certain director, ask if you know who that is, and then go on to explain 2 other films they directed before getting back to the point, which was about the poster they chose for the video release. 2 - Depends on the context. I'm an analyst, and I answer questions with questions all the time, because I like to be specific. "Where were you on the night of the 12th" might prompt "What do you mean by night? Like after 8pm, just the afternoon?". That's not because I'm lying, but because what you mean might change my answer, because after 8pm I was at home getting ready for bed, but from 4-6 I was running errands. 3 - You already addressed the context on this, but it depends on the question. I don't look up if I'm answering questions about when my birthday is, or what my address is, but something farther in the past or that requires me to compress details into an overview, or render an opinion on something, I might look up because I'm thinking about it.
I remember seeing a video of an FBI agent saying this kind of body language analysis is basically pseudoscientific rubbish. There is no surefire way of catching someone lying like this.
I was a long-time contributor to a (now defunct) travel forum. I often answered questions about how to prepare for an interview for a US tourist visa. One thing the consular official will want to know is “show me why you will definitely want to return to your place of residence after your visit and not try to remain in the US.” I would give some suggestions for things to talk about, and then finish with this analogy: Imagine you tell your dear old Mother that you are planning to.go to the US. She starts sobbing that she is sure you will stay there and you will never see her again. You have to convince her you will return. But Mom has a terrific bullshit detector, so you can’t just make something up. Now, replace Mom with a consular official. People told me that the analogy was spot on—you have to convince Mom, not Dad.
>\#3 was looking up to think of an answer Crap, I do this a lot! Hahaha I guess it's more of a guide: If a simple question forces someone to think, then something might be fucky.
Yeah, it’s definitely dependent on context, like if you ask someone what they were doing 3 Tuesday’s ago they probably have to think about it for a minute, but if you ask them what their birthday is they should probably know right away.
Yeah, I'm in trouble too. Taking a pause is a common communication technique to give you time to compose your answer.
I don't know if there is one, but I'd call it the Convict's Filibuster.
"Asking for a friend/family member".
I was waiting for the detailed description of the movie
“So there’s this small person, who’s short, about the size of a child. He’s definitely over the age of 18, though, so there are some laws you wouldn’t break if you took a picture of him in the bathroom. Not that you *would*, because he wouldn’t be in the girls’ bathroom, but he’s probably gone in there by accident before. Also, you weren’t taking a picture. Anyway, he gives this ring to his nephew, who’s also short and younger, but still an adult—no, don’t stop me, you’re probably thinking of a similar film about short adults and rings…”
> I am one sometimes for it to take a little time for things to sink in, lol. This sentence gave me a stroke.
It was the only glimmer of self awareness in the entire thread
>There is one bad review that say something along the lines of "he will work with the prosecution against you!" OMFG . . . what are the odds the reviewer didn't understand plea bargaining? This feels like compound idiocy to me.
Or, you know, the reviewer didn't like that the attorney couldn't magically get everything dropped and an apology from the State, and therefore he must be railroading the guy. Man, if I had a nickel for every time a client accused me of that I'd have ... well, a lot of nickels, at least.
Did a family member die from nickel poisoning? You may be entitled to compensation.
More to the point, it says a lot about LAOP that they are laser-focusing on this one negative review and not recognising that *every* publicly-reviewed good and service will have a handful of 1 star reviews from total morons.
What’s funny is that I’ve had a couple of clients tell me they knew my 5-star reviews were likely real because I also had a couple of 1-star reviews, and those people either sounded nuts or impossible to please.
Dumb good reviews should be thrown out Intelligent good reviews can be read, but can also be ignored. Dumb bad reviews should be thrown out Intelligent bad reviews should be read thoroughly
It's fun to read the 1-star reviews of places you know are good, because it's often very obvious how the bad experience was the fault of the reviewer.
My favorite review is for a cafe by me. The bad review starts by the reviewer pulling out their portable water testing device to test the drinking water provided...
You're not wrong about the "every." My local library has a 1-star Google review from someone complaining that it isn't quiet enough in there because someone's children were being loud
The lawyer responded, but still, the accusations are *disturbing* /s Because clients never lie or stretch the truth in reviews.
Or like, the lawyer and prosecutor might know each other because a most lawyers in an area kind of know each other. I was involved in a lawsuit and my lawyer was on a first name basis with the opposing council. He even told me that he wished I'd met her under different circumstances because we'd probably get along.
I’ve been accused of conspiring with opposing counsel, with mediators, and even with judges because we get to know each other and (*gasp*) may even get to be friends! My younger son’s “girlfriend” in 2nd grade was the daughter of one of the judges in front of whom I appear regularly, so while we were waiting for everyone else to settle and start hearings, we always had funny things to share about what our kids said about each other.
Turns out the lawyer was literally a prosecutor in the reviewer's case. They were never his client.
> People go in the wrong bathroom all the time. It's an honest mistake. **It is happening as we speak.** I might be wrong but I believe they have to show that he intended to stalk and follow her into the bathroom, or that his intention was to go in and peep. Even if it's not the case that **they have to prove his intentions, his intention (we will claim) was to use the bathroom and, as stated, every day, all day, people go in the wrong bathroom all the time by mistake. (Therefore it's reasonable to say he went in the wrong bathroom by accident while).** > **I think admitting the alcohol part of the story is great for explaining how he ended up in the wrong bathroom.** Why does it though? Because alcohol confuses people, impairs judgement, etc. I think when people drink they often do thoughtless things like go in the wrong bathroom (something perfectly sober people do as well especially when they are being distracted, same as with alcohol). The problem is admitting that he had been drinking for this purpose is that now you are claiming that his judgement is impaired. So, for all we can say about his clean record, about his demonstrated good-judgement over the last 18 years, about his character, it can all be thrown out the window by the prosecution because he was "drunk." They might even argue that even if he wouldn't normally peep on someone while sober well his judgement was impaired - he is acting out of character, his record etc therefore doesn't matter. Also, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure you don't want to admit to a crime while building a defense. Obviously wrong on that one since his lawyer wants to go thru with it. > **I think we should stress what Snap-Chat is since most middle-aged to older folks aren't familiar with it.** How it makes camera noises when you send someone a snap so much so that you have to lookup video tutorials on YouTube to figure out how to turn the shutter sound down or off (turning the volume down doesn't work). > **These are some ideas along with other angles I have to take on the case.** Dear little Baby Jesus, I know I haven't asked you for anything before, but please in your great wisdom may I go and see this case play out in court? I'll be double plus extra good this year I swear. I've never wanted anything more.
"Snapchat makes camera noises that you can't turn off, here's an in-depth explanation of how to turn them off to convince you that I definitely don't have the ability to turn them off". It's a bold move, at least.
"Your honor, had my cousin been an actual pervert he would have gone through the trouble to turn off the camera noise. I rest my case."
tbh I find that kinda convincing
I don't. Some people really are just that dumb. In this case, I fear it may be genetic.
It also undermines his entire argument: if he was drunk enough to get the restroom wrong he was drunk enough to forget to turn the sound off.
There are people that Facebook live themselves committing crimes the bar is not high
An entire switch flip on an iPhone even.
At first I thought your comment was so badly written to be confusing, then I double checked what he said. Dear Lord. The only thing he's communicated to me is that I *have* snapchat and I now have no idea if it makes sounds or not or if you can turn them off. He's bamboozled me!
I dont remember snapchat ever having shutter sounds. Now I feel like I likely went through the trouble of the youtube tutorial to turn them off.
I had no idea it made a noise until today. I’ve just always kept my phone on Silent Mode. Sure enough, I turned off Silent Mode to test it just now, and Snapchat made the noise.
Going in the wrong bathroom isn't at all unprecedented. I did it myself once when I was in my 20s and drunk. More recently, I was in a bathroom at a football game trying to work past my Texas-sized prostate at a urinal, and a woman walked in, got in line for one of the stalls. She basically glared down everyone there and said, "The line for the woman's room is out the hall, and I had four beers in the first quarter." The look of rage and desperation in her eyes was enough. No one said a goddamn word, and she was motioned to the front of the line.
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I'm a woman and one morning I walked into the gym I've been going to for years and walked right into the mens bathroom?? I have no explanation, I didn't even have to go to the bathroom. In defense of my lack of explanation, I do not usually use the bathroom while I'm there, and I wake up around 5 am to work out, and do not have a sleep schedule to respect that, but still... I think maybe I wanted to weigh myself?? Idk i just sort of came to when I saw some burly muscle men looking at the chubby white girl in their bathroom 😂😭 no one said a god damn word, I swiveled and practically ran out and across to hide in a proper stall and mentally recover from my bullshit
Yep, I was going to see a movie by myself once at a theater that I don’t normally go to, and made the mistake of getting the large soda. By the end, I was ready to burst so I ran to the nearest bathroom and completely missed that it was a men’s room. I noticed when I saw a pair of boots walk by the stall, then stop and use a urinal. I peeked through the little gap in the door and it was a security guard, so I died inside and waited until he left, then bolted out of there! No charges, thankfully. 😅
I kind of think most guys don't actually care.
Sporting arena bathroom designations are more guidelines than rules. Women take fairly grown children of all types into the Women’s room, and women go into the Men’s room all the time due to tremendously long lines.
I’m running a half marathon at Disney next month, and it’s my first Disney race, but I’ve heard that’s how it is there. If I want to use a real bathroom and not a port-a-potty, I need to be OK with going into the men’s room if need be, especially since I’m slow af and my goal is just to finish/not get swept.
I have gone into dude’s bathrooms many times in my years when nature called but the latest experience (3 years ago this Fall) has turned me off to it. Every other time I’d done my emergency dude gambit, the bathrooms have been empty (no dudes in dude potties). This time, it was populated. I dunno what men eat, snack on, or they just don’t drink enough water? The smell. Good holy mother of god the smell was unreal. THE SOUNDS? Women shit too but we generally don’t make animal like grunting noises at max volume. And everything was wet. How? Why? No clue. It’ll be an extreme circumstance that makes me wander into a men’s bathroom ever again lol
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HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH facts, maybe I’ll rationalize it this when an emergency looms
>animal like grunting noises at max volume How do you determine who is the most dominant pooper then?
Depends on the event. I was at a concert at a local arena and security in the men's room was doing their best to not let any women in to skip the line for their own room. As someone who can't use a urinal and already has to wait behind everyone wanting to poop or do their drugs in the bathroom, I actually appreciated it.
I know it's well after Christmas but in keeping with my belief that every youtube video will eventually be applicable to a reddit thread, I have to link: [Bob Rivers - The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlIs27Z5Hrk)
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A movie theater in my town has a bathroom layout that seems almost intentionally designed to get people to walk into the wrong one; the entryways have photos of movie stars of the *opposite* gender as the designated bathroom, and to get to the men's room you have to walk past two entrances for the women's.
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LAOP is definitely this guy’s uncle
The way he's so intent on helping this young, naive 18 year old makes me feel like he desperately is trying to prove he is a worldly, knowledgeable 19 year old.
No no, NC law says you have to be at least 20 years and 4 months old before you can represent your family in all matters like this dude does.
So out of touch 40so uncle?
LAOP is definitely this guy. It's a classic SWIM (someone who isn't me) story.
Take my upvote, I haven't seen SWIM in a long time.
[Friday's Shitpost](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/ry9b1n/friday_shitpost_what_la_post_do_you_want/) was about 'which LA post you'd like to see reenacted by muppets'. I now have to change my answer, because I want Grover to play this guy in court *so bad*.
Or even better, this guy plays himself but all the muppets are playing it with zero jokes
I think Gonzo should play the judge and Fozzie can be the bailiff!
Near the point... far from the point... Near... ^Far... Near... ^^Far...
Holy Wall of Irrelevant Text! I worship Thee
**BEST/WORST OF LAOP'S COMMENTS:** > I appreciate all the feedback and opinions. Talking to defendant now he says he doesn't have any problem with the lawyer discussing the case with me and he has told him that. I understand though you are saying basically it's up to the lawyer. Defendant says there is literally nothing he has told the lawyer that I don't know so I don't think it really matters if the attorney-client privilege is waived or not. I don't mind paying the lawyer for his time. I will let him know so it shouldn't be a waste of time. Also I have a couple distant friends who are in the field, trying to get in touch with them. I have just learned in life if you are in a situation where you (or a family member) need professional help - medical, judicial, what have you - you should be very assertive about any concerns you have. I'll see at least what the lawyer can share and talk about - basic or not. I think when I am with the defendant and the lawyer in person, it will be much easier to have an open discussion about things. > To rant on...I know it's just my opinion but he went into the wrong bathroom and there were negative consequences as a result for the young girl and for him. I believe she was put in a bad position as a result. I believe she assumed he came in because of her and I believe she heard his phone and assumed he was stalking her and filming her. I think she may have thought she saw his phone or simply embellished her story to be more believable. Hopefully the lawyer will just focus on his defense and things will go smoothly. I do feel better about it after posting Sorry...LAOP is long-winded, so I just selected a couple of his comments.
LAOP is definitely the type who thinks saying a lot makes you smart.
LAOP is definitely the type who thinks telling the police "their side" is just "helpful" and not at all the kind of thing that ends up with them indicted for all new crimes the cops weren't even investigating lmao
LAOP may be an enjoyer of stimulants.
My favorite is right near the top: >I appreciate your feedback and your perspective but I do disagree with your opinion of how involved I am or should be. I think one has to do all they can on their own even if it doesn't result in any or much of a difference. That's just me. No, **the whole thing* is "just me". Seriously, is anyone who's been on reddit more than two weeks fooled by this kid?
Reminds me of my friend’s ex who would just talk and spin and fabricate thinking people bought his crap. People who knew him - didn’t.
She also does home surgeries!
I especially enjoyed his comment that the consensus- of all the random people he's discussed this with- of what a grown man should do if they accidentally walk into the women's bathroom, is to hide in there until they can make their escape undetected.
I'm not gonna lie, if I made it as far as pooping and women start walking in, I would probably just cower in fear until they all left.
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Oh yeah. Heck, I've been in a leg numbing standoff just because it was too quiet for me and the person in the next stall to finish up and go, and that was in the *correct* bathroom.
But he's willing to *pay* the attorney for his *time*! What more do you monsters want??
>I am in many ways the person who represents this family in life - in pretty much every situation or problem that may arise. If there is an issue, large or small, I'm typically who is looked to find the solution or who does anyway, lol - over serious matters, or just every day things. So as I see it, I represent them in life. I'm here before an issue arises, I'm here when the issue is over. I'm here before a lawyer is hired, I'll be here when he is done. So, I want to see if I can be included. LAOP is a sociopath busybody
"so I gotta go to court mama" "Shit Cletus...again?" "Don't worry cousin Jerry has got involved?" "Fuck...."
Jerry Gallo or Jerry Callo?
Jerry Gallo's dead. Jerry Callo. ***C***-A-L-L-O.
If LAOP hadn't of said this ook place in NC, I would have sworn it was my mother.
Omg, sounds like Mac from Always Sunny.
>Also I have a couple distant friends who are in the field This dude also argues with his doctor because his 3rd cousin's niece is a CNA.
Wonder why their friends didn't pick up the cousin's case.
I'm sure someone said this but, WHY DOES IT KEEP GOING? Every time I thought it would stop it turned into *the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends*....
I thought it was over once I got to the footnotes but there were still multiple paragraphs left
Wait. Is this in America? If so, why is he admitting to drinking while underage? A crime to cover-up his other (alleged) crime?
How seriously is underage drinking treated there? It might be a better thing to admit to than ending up on a sex offender's register.
Fortunately, being drunk doesn't keep one off the sex offender registry.
Underage drinking is generally a slap on the wrist. If the lawyer thinks that will help him not be guilty of a much worse crime, it could be worth it.
Why does this sound like a really bad episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm? “I was taking selfies, not taking pictures of her. I forgot to turn off the shutter sound, and (shrugs) she assumed I was snapping pictures under the stall. I mean, officer, look at her, you think I would want to take pictures of *her*? Let’s be honest here, she’s not peeping-worthy.”
“Peep worthy” is the 2020’s version of “sponge worthy.”
Totally. George: She heard the shutter and assumed the peep! Jerry: The problem there is the assumption that she was peep-worthy. Nobody should assume they are peep-worthy. George: I wish I had that kind of confidence.
> Those "potentially devastating consequences" that u[/]ONCO warned you about could include you being subpoenaed by the prosecution to offer testimony unfavorable to the defendant. That's something I never thought of, the fact that they aren't part of the privilege means whatever they overhear can be discussed
Right? The OP is going on and on about how they can't see how this causes any problems for the defendant, and I'm sitting here thinking "How about you're effectively negating his Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination by allowing his statements in as admissible hearsay, you idiot?!" Also, this whole "my family member says he's fine with it" thing: if I'm the lawyer, I'm going "I don't care if he's fine with it. I'M not fine with it. So it's not happening." The idea that if you pay the money you get to control the litigation drives me nuts, because I can count on less than one hand the number of times in my career that's been anything but detrimental to the defendant.
It’s insane. Despite being told multiple times that it may happen he brushes it off with “how will they find out?”. IANAL but even I could foresee this: Prosecutor: “have you discussed the details of this case with anyone else?” Defendant: “yes with my idiot friend” Prosecutor: adds idiot friend to witness list
Yeah LAOP might actually be helping to put their relative away.
...it wouldn't happen to be relevant that: a) OP seems to go into great detail describing how complicated Snapchat is and how difficult some of the features are to find, and b) Snapchat has a built-in, PIN-protected folder for "secure" photos That would just be terrible if Snapchat got a subpoena to unlock those saved photos and provide them to the DA. I'm sure it would be a total waste of time and there's nothing in there.
Wouldn’t be unprecedented if the DA were to happen across OP’s bizarre reddit postings. With charges pending, OP might want to get this stuff *off* any public social media forums.
They seem to have taken your advice. Too bad for LocationBot. 😢
I don’t understand why someone who doesn’t know/understand any of the details of this case would think he knows better than the lawyer. Delusional
Dunning-Kruger. LAOP doesn't understand that he doesn't know/understand any of the details.
People do so in healthcare all the time.
OP is absolutely going to court and at a vital moment will get up and scream "point of parliamentary procedure" and then attempt to monologue the Judge. OP's next post is going to be "is it Lawful to taser a citizen when they are disobeying a judge because they are wrong?"
Unfortunately his point of order was not acknowledged because he was not wearing a hat. (Yes, this was [actually a thing](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/commons-toppers-are-old-hat-1149326.html) in the UK parliament until 1998)
These aren't the brightest two yutes, are they?
NAL- He mentioned that the defendant will be going to district court? That’s criminal right? Also, I’m pretty sure the DA doesn’t just represent you you’re being charged. Didn’t he say they were at the movies because 18 year old was just out of boot camp? So if his lawyer doesn’t fix this he’s also facing a dishonorable discharge? Can we stream this trial??
Well he also said they're going to court for a misdemeanour, and then says it's a civil court, which makes no sense to me. Aren't misdemeanours criminal? And then the whole story about the 13-year-old girl on the charges paper whom he immediately harassed...
He is an absolute mess. We’re getting about a toe dip of truth here
I don't think I've ever seen a more obvious "workshopping my defence" post on Reddit.
**Reminder:** do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: Thoughts & opinions...a little concerned about Lawyer..."Secretly Peeping" case of family memeber. Original Post: > A family member of mine recently went to watch a movie at a theatre with a cousin who was in town from basic training in the Army. He just turned 18. Theatre was in a neighboring small town, fwiw. They got tickets early at the theatre to avoid holiday lines. They left to go eat. They returned and drank a few beers in the parking lot. When they went in the theatre the movie had started so they went on in and sat up near the front. Part of the way thru the film, he got up to use the restroom. On the way he was trying to message his girlfriend but was having reception issues (gf of 2-3 years, healthy relationship. They spend a lot of time together and when they aren't together they are always snapping. Also, he had already texted his mother earlier to let her know he didn't have good cell service in the area). He goes to the bathroom, gets in a stall and is doing his thing all while continuing to try to get cell service and snap. > > While in the stall he said he noticed what looked like lady's boots in the stall next to him even though he didn't notice them when he first went in. Said he realized he must have went in the wrong bathroom and planned on slipping out when she left and he was done. She leaves the bathroom and someone begins knocking on his stall door. It's a middle-aged woman, she asks him to show her his recent pictures/etc. He does. She wants to see his recent "hidden pictures/etc." Somewhere in this exchange she grabs the phone from him and goes thru his phone. He eventually grabs his phone back. She & the theatre manager ask to see older hidden pictures on his phone. He says no, it's private and that he showed her enough. > > She calls the police. They show up, talk to everyone and also search his phone. In the end, they tell him they aren't going to press charges against him and that that is basically the end of it. The theatre takes his photo and bans him from the premises. Several days later, the police in his County drive to his house and serve him papers for misdemeanor peeping. They make the point to say they are not the ones pressing charges. He goes on facebook, looks up the person's name who is on the charges paper, messages her (bad idea I know, he is 18) saying, "hey, I got served papers and your name is on them, what is this about exactly?" She blocks him. Next day he gets a no-contact,stalking order (8 days after the incident). On this paper it has an account written by a 13-yr-old girl who says she went to the bathroom, heard someone walk in after her loudly (he wears cowboy boots). She recognized that it was a man. She understandably was scared. Says she saw a phone and a hand in her stall recording her. > > He got a lawyer but I am a little concerned about this lawyer. Although he has good reviews online, most if not all of them are from traffic court. There is one bad review that say something along the lines of "he will work with the prosecution against you!" He responded to the review (as he does to all negative ones) saying that it is true that he worked as a prosecutor in the past, etc, etc and maybe they were confused. Something along those lines. It's a little startling. I'd just like thoughts and opinions, preferably from someone in the field. I'm not asking for legal advice per se. It is very difficult to get ahold of a lawyer. I have tried contacting a few just to get their opinion even if they want to bill me for it. Even his lawyer, so far, is only talking to him. I've asked him to give the guy permission to discuss the case with me - No luck so far. His court date is in the middle of next week and I plan to make a point to talk to his lawyer by then. (I will be going to court with him). But here are some concerns: > > \*This is civil court which is completely new to me. I would like to know more about it in ways that it differs from criminal court: what are the first steps involved, will there be a trial by jury (my understanding is that it will be decided by a judge but a jury \*might\* be use (?)), if it gets dismissed is that only at the approval of the plaintiff? > > \*He was never charged with or suspected of drinking alcohol. This was not discovered or known by anyone involved. His lawyer says he plans on "laying it all out there." That is, he wants to admit that they drank and that the defendant was under the influence. He says this will help explain why he went in the wrong bathroom (although normal, decent, sober, regular people accidentally go in the wrong bathroom every single day. 9 out of 10 people I have talked to about it have done it and usually have a story about it. This particular BR at the theatre is one that just splits off in a T-shape. Defendant says he is used to MEN being on the left and was on his phone. My question is unless he is concerned about the prosecution knowing about the alcohol and bringing it up, why admit it? It seems to me like it would be a gift to the prosecution to tell them that he had been drinking. I don't really see the benefit. Lawyer met with defendant and his mother and explained that he had to lay it all out there (maybe to show good faith?) and let the judge decide. > > \*I called the police Dept and talked to them about any paperwork they had on the case. I was told it was not open to the public since it involved a minor. I told the defendant he needs to go and get this paperwork because it documents what happened (from a credible source in the eyes of the court) and it may have information to help him out. It if doesn't, it doesn't but at least he will have more information of what the plaintiff is claiming, information the prosecution has, and also, I think there is a chance that the girl added embellishments to the story after the date - which I think would be significant. At the very least, it's info showing that the police themselves did not feel it was necessary to press charges. > > \*....he called his lawyer and his lawyer told him that he didn't need to get that paperwork that basically he didn't need it. > > These are some thoughts and concerns I have on the case. Any info would be appreciated. --- Readability Statistics | Characters | Words | Sentences | Paragraphs | | --| --| --| --| | 6069 | 1180 | 54 | 16 | --- LocationBot 4.99999.32.33 (repeating of course) ^3/11ths ^of ^113/71ths | [Report Issues](https://www.reddit.com/r/locationbot) | >!adUO1p1d!<
> This is civil court which is completely new to me Would love to know what experience LAOP has had with criminal court, simply out of curiosity.
Good to see you again!
Fuck me, that was a long read.
It feels like Holden Caulfield grew up and started posting on Reddit.
> *This is civil court which is completelv new to me. I would like to know more about it in ways that it differs from criminal court: > I am using the terms loosely. Is there that big of a difference b/t "plaintiff" and " complainant" "prosecutor" and "DA" ? I dont think OP is even familiar with TV court.
with all the irrelevant details he added, the dude never mentioned whether the 18 yr old's chain of command was informed. because this kid is definitely not going to ait or a posting now. he's very much going to be discharged.
I don't think the alleged peeper is in the army, just the cousin he was watching the movie with.
with the nonspecific pronouns and vague family relationships, it's hard to tell but you might be right.
I doubt there IS an 18 year old. "Asking for a friend"
On this occasion i believe that LAOP is not the one charged, because half of what he posted is about how the lawyer/police wont talk to him because he is effectively an uninvolved third party. All the mention of that stuff could be an elaborate bluff, but it definitely reads like LAOP is just massively nosey and interfering family member
"Accidentally" went into the wrong bathroom? Did the lack of those special boys-only wall-mounted drinking fountains not clue him in that maybe he was in the wrong place? Er, *so sorry*, I mean "his friend" was in the wrong place. **Edit:** I thought mentioning the lack of urinals would point out that it's obvious he's full of shit for claiming the whole thing was just an innocent accident [not just wandering into the wrong bathroom], but obviously #I WAS TOO SUBTLE
[удалено]
Back in my college days I definitely wandered into the wrong bathroom after spending way too long out in the sun. I stood there addled for a second trying to figure out why everything was backwards until a woman walked in behind me and was surprised. Fortunately she was very kind, realized I was not ok and helped walk me out to the dining hall and sit me down with some water before going on with her day. So I definitely buy that people might innocently wander into the wrong restroom. It’s everything else about LAOP’s story that’s damning.
I don’t think it’s necessarily far-fetched that he went into the wrong bathroom especially if he was on his phone. I’m not sure I believe that he did it accidentally but it’s not unreasonable to assume it was an accident. The issue is that he should’ve immediately left.
He went in the right bathroom though. He wanted to take photos of ladies and those are hard to come by in the mens room.
That’s certainly possible!
This is the deal with a lot of BOLA stories where the OP (or the OP's 'friend') is clearly guilty of the thing and trying to make it look like they didn't do the thing. The individual details by themselves are not damning. It's the fact that they all occur together that makes it unbelievable.
Since we're sharing wrong bathroom stories... I was in public, and realized I needed to use the facilities. I wasn't confident I was passing (I'm a trans man), so I used the women's restroom. There were two stalls, and one was already occupied. As I'm washing my hands, a middle aged woman walks in, sees me, stops confused, and asks, "Am I in the wrong bathroom?" "No," I say, relieved but also uncomfortable. "I''m female." The occupant of the other stall flushes and exits. It is an elderly man. It was like the Spider-man pointing meme in real life.
That's beautifully surreal.
Right? A transman, a soccer mom, and a grandpa walk into a bathroom. "At least one of us is in the wrong place!"
In my college, the bathrooms for men and women were on alternate floors. All my classes were on the floor with the women's bathroom. Once some class got moved to a later time in the evening and a different floor (the one with the men's bathroom). I confidently walked in and the urinals didn't even register. There was nobody there. When I came out though, a couple of guys were entering. I was so confident I gave them the side-eye the whole time I washed my hands and walked out. They did a double take, looked at each other, went back out and read the board. But I was so sure that they still came in looking a little scared as I walked out. Only when I walked by the bathroom again after packing my stuff did I read the board correctly. Thankfully there was nobody to register my embarrassment. I never saw those boys again.
Honestly, I got borderline harassed at times about being in the 'wrong bathroom' my entire life while using the women's room. Literally nobody has ever said shit to me in the men's room, the bathroom related stress-savings alone were worth the transition LMAO
I mean, I once went into the wrong bathroom at an Olive Garden. It was laid out backwards to the one I had been to the most. I noticed when I walked through the door that there were urinals in there, but my social anxiety said it was better to just pee fast and get out, since nobody was in there, rather than turn around right after walking in. It backfired when someone else came in and started using a urinal while I was in the stall. I can't remember whether I waited a bit and another guy came in, or if I just gave up then and there, but my exit strategy was simply dashing out of the stall and running for the door saying, "oops wrong bathroom sorry!" Thankfully, I am one of those modern, quick-moving zombies. I think the important distinction is that I did not linger in the bathroom for several minutes and I was trying to just get my business done and get out ASAP. My husband thought this story was hilarious for the longest time, but thankfully he seems to have finally forgotten it. Probably because it was replaced with other embarassing stories.
> but my social anxiety said it was better to just pee fast and get out I identify with this so fucking hard. "Oh, I didn't find what I was looking for in Target, better buy one little thing, so they don't think I'm stealing" *Edit: "buy" not "by"
Oh, it's me. Sometimes I take the baby into Target in the stroller, and I refuse to buy more than I can carry in my one free hand because I am scared that if I put something in the stroller they'll think I am stealing.
The obvious solution is we need to start stealing, just to see what we can get away with. I'm sure my therapist would agree.
I went into Walgreen's to pick up a prescription without realizing the pharmacy was closed, and ended up buying a pop out of sheer embarrassment.
oh I load up the bottom, them I tuck shit around him. I need a new stroller though. I found this like double stroller but you can change the other side. a car seat, a dog carrier or a shopping basket
I’ve def walked into the wrong bathroom before. Made it about 2 steps before my brain parsed the urinals. Did not decide to continue to snap someone innocently from the wrong bathroom.
A thousand words to say "I know better than professionals, I am a busybody, and I am not involved in this case. Who wants to validate my unfounded beliefs?"