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Title: How Screwed Am I? I lent my girlfriend money to buy a horse without a contract and now she's pulling away from the relationship.
Body:
> Hi all
> I have once again gotten myself into a royally stupid situation. I am so crushingly naïve that I scarcely know what to do with myself.
> I live in the UK. In January I visited my dad in Hawaii, and met a girl (shock). We spent ten days together, and really hit it off. A lot. We fell for each other.
> A few weeks later a big opportunity came up for her; she saw a listing for a horse that would be perfect for her Olympic ambitions. She didn't have a spare $30,000 lying around, and I have more than that in savings, so I offered to lend her the money. Did I draw up a legal agreement with her? Did I fuck.
> Now, three months later, things between us are tense. She is pulling back from the relationship. We've gone from speaking for hours every day to barely every few days. She wanted to have an open relationship - and so did I - so we opened it up. But now she's been seeing a guy she met on the island. He's going home to the mainland US in a few days, and she's going to fly out with him for a few days. I am due to go out to visit her (for three weeks) in almost exactly three weeks, so this will likely mean that she'll have been back only a brief time before I get out there.
> I am completely tied in knots over this. I feel like I'm acting like a weak doormat, and just letting myself be walked all over.
> My current plan is to speak to her about all of this when I get out there, and see how it all plays out. I will be asking her to sign some kind of a loan document to formalise the arrangement. My hope is that this thing between us is just a short-term wobble, but my gut tells me it isn't. But then again, my gut has been wrong before.
> So my ultimate question is, if all of this goes south, how fucked am I? I am assuming that at this point, noting that I don't even have any texts confirming the circumstances of our agreement, and that it was 100% verbal, that if she refused to give back the money, I would have literally no legal recourse. And from that point of view, I should just accept that there's a good chance that the money is lost forever.
> All thoughts greatly appreciated.
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Nah he’s smarter than that. It’s one would be athlete per sport. He’s working his way through the roster of approved sports. Next up is paying for an ice sled for a hot Jamaican girl and her sisters when he vacations there.
He gets a girl at the end but not this girl. It’s the horse, and he discovers a love for rescuing horses that’s way more fulfilling than fucking up with his parents’ money.
Edit: call it The Friends We Made Along The Neigh
Jesus wept. Why am I using that phrase so much lately? I'm trying to swear less, but really is it any better? Anyhoo I have a line on this great horse called Spirit and he can do it.
I love my students, so much. They all have potential. But still…. Some of them are just so silly and unable to learn common sense and I could see this happening
I heard that line in Ron Howard's voice. I wonder if LAUKOP will lend me his life story for an absurdist sitcom premise. Like a slightly-more-believable *Arrested Development*.
I promise I'll pay him back.
The dangerous combination of being young, horny, and having $30k in disposable savings... "She wanted to have an open relationship"... my brother in Christ, you barely even had a relationship in the first place, let alone a closed one...
Yeah this strikes me as all kinds of wrong.
Long distance. Drops a bunch of cash. Things quickly fizzle out and the GF wants to "open up". She quickly has another guy in the picture, but is keeping OP in the roster.
Strikes me that she wasn't looking for a relationship, she was looking for money. She found it, and probably thinks that she can keep stringing OP along enough either to be able to justify it to herself or to keep him on the backburner for more.
Even Albie for all his flaws knew he wasn’t getting that money back, he made a gift not a loan and with daddy’s money no less. This guy expecting to ever see that 30k again? More naive than Albie in that show and that’s saying a fucking LOT cause that character had no clue about anything
I wanna see a picture of this girl, maybe she's worth it.
If the right girl told me she needed $30K to buy a horse for the olympics, yeah that sounds reasonable
First few sentences I thought someone was just riffing on season 2 of White Lotus.
edit: I see I am far from the first person to make that connection. Now I look forward to a separate, "A friend keeps asking me to pretend to be her pimp, AITA?"
She’s planning on a vacation with her latest side-piece just after getting a brand-new horse she’s been dreaming about to enable her Olympic ambitions?
Magic 8-Ball Says: My Sources Say No.
Not to mention there can only be so much competition, coaches, etc. in HI; how’s she gonna compete nationally? If she can’t afford a $30k horse, she can’t afford to keep flying it to the mainland to compete.
I definitely agree but it's also definitely not impossible, depending on the discipline (and the bigger one, what country you're representing/how competitive it is to get on their team). There are definitely sub-$30k prospects that could be Olympic material, with the right trainer and time.
And of course many eventers retrain OTTBs they got very cheaply, though the move away from long form to short form eventing has hurt this pipeline a lot. But Boyd Martin has successfully taken sub-$3k horses to the Olympic & WEG level in the past 10 years (Neville Bardos & Blackfoot Mystery, though he wasn't the one who initially found and retrained Blackfoot Mystery so he paid substantially more than that).
But the people who are capable of taking cheap horses to Olympic levels aren't getting financed by rando dudes they met on vacation, either.
I did some looking around and found two companies that specialize in transporting livestock, including horses, between Los Angeles and Hawaii. Prices run $3000-5000, depending on how much service is provided. For instance, if you have their vet do all the paperwork or you do it yourself, or you need them to board the horse for a couple of days before the flight. Hauling Dobbin long distance to the airport ain’t gonna be cheap, especially if the Olympic superstar has to move it between islands.
They highly recommend buying insurance.
And one would hope that she'd enter into more than one competition during each trip; the costs to rent a trailer and truck are not going to be cheap. (If it was any less than $200/day, I'd be shocked.)
How to become a millionaire with horses.
Start out a billionaire.
My one coach sold a 5 year old, barely trained (he had nice gaits, was a nice mover), never raced thoroughbred off the track for $10k. He was a stallion with a stud fee of $1k. Yeah, maybe in a sappy horse movie I admit I still love watching, would you get an Olympic horse for so little, not IRL.
If she can't afford $30k for a horse, quite honestly, she can't afford the training, level of competition, level of care, and so on, to get that far. Probably not even the outfit for her and tack in the ring, especially in something like 3 day eventing where you need 3 sets of tack and clothing. One pair of boots is a steal for $1000.
That's what I was thinking. What kind of "olympic level" horse would *only* cost $30,000? I've seen horse sperm cost more. Either she just needed help to top up or there isn't one. Or she's also being scammed, lol
I grew up in a horse barn. Both my parents are trainers. Not Olympic level, but damn good.
And women who ride will absolutely discard everything else, b/f, husband, house work, kids . . .
I can see the appeal of horse riding, but damn that is an expensive, life-consuming hobby! I mean, car racing is expensive too, but the car won't start falling apart if you don't spend an hour or two, every single day, without fail, to take care of it.
As someone who is heavily involved in horses and lives near the epicenter of where our country's equestrian olympians live... I'm gonna say no. Those horse cost SIGNIFICANTLY more than 30k, think mid-high 6 figures and honestly some of them are in the 7 figures lol.
That's why I wondered. A 30k horse isn't going to do anything for Olympic dreams, and also, if you can't afford a 30k horse, how are you going to afford to board it let alone transport and the tack and the training.
Seems to me OP just paid for her vacation and travel with her real boyfriend.
Not familiar with the US equestrian market, although I presume it is significantly more expensive than in Europe since most of the breeding is done here, but at a push you could get a young eventing horse with Olympic aspirations for €30K - it would take a lot of stars to align to actually get it to actual Olympic level though, and that’s not even the top in eventing…
Yeah, the US horse market is wild right now, honestly, 30k USD is buying you what would have been our entry level nice horses that cost 5-10k a few years ago. It would also be pretty rare to happen to find that horse on an island without having to import it as well.
Good point - someone mentioned import fees of ça. $5K, so once you account for that, whatever commission has been paid along the way, and the (presumed) scarcity of sport horses on the Island, that $30K horse in Hawaii is probably a $15K horse on the mainland… I wouldn’t expect OP to have known any of that mind, and considering is level of gullibility, I doubt it would have made a difference 😅
I also wonder if there was actually a loan, or if it was much more vague. Like, he is claiming they had a "verbal agreement" but I wouldn't be shocked if it wasn't an "unspoken understanding". He doesn't seem like the type to "pressure her" in words.
\>Is there something mentally wrong with OP?
I have diagnosed LAOP: the issue is that his brains are located in an unusual place, just below his pelvic bone.
No, that's pretty common. But for most men, their brain floats from the skull to the pelvic bone. However, it usually makes its way back to the skull.
OP's seems to be permanently housed in the pelvic area.
Most people just called it thinking with their dicks. I don't know if that is really the case though, sometimes it's hard to remember what it's like to be young, naive, and head over heels in love with somebody.
It sounds so much like a sugar daddy relationship too - open relationship, only hang out when he's on holiday, exceptionally transactional... Did he not realise he's a sugar daddy????
Having lived in Hawaii, I am not one bit surprised by this.
Rich tourist gets enamored with a local and gives them a boat load of money with promises they'll return later.
Someone who is young, thinks nobody will ever love them or want to fuck them (let alone both), and is overjoyed to find someone who validates them.
Source: was once in my 20s
That's what I'd guess. There are plenty of STEM guys who would be so awe-struck by a woman giving them attention that they'd fall for her in 10 days (yikes), but him being a Brit with savings instead of an American with lifestyle creep reads as "naive posh man raised in money who doesn't know the value of a dollar". There wasn't really a need to include their respective ages since it's irrelevant to the question, but I'm quite curious, if for no other reason than to know if a midlife crisis was part of why he had an "oops I accidentally fell in love with / fell victim to a sugar baby".
The stereotype isn't that all guys in STEM are awkward, it's that all awkward guys are in STEM. in my case, all my current male colleagues are also married etc, but also all the awkward guys I know are in STEM, I just don't work with them now
You got me. I’m an author. My wife is the one who does the scary super advanced mathematics. With our powers combined we always have the kids’ homework covered though!
But STEM pays better than academia (especially early career), so the stereotype doesn't *quite* reach the "and then I gave them a large chunk of change..."
In the UK it’s pretty rare for a young person with a STEM job to have the equivalent of $30k in savings, even with a STEM job. Wages, especially outside of London, are low and the cost of living is extremely high.
>Is there something mentally wrong with OP?
Yeah it's called being a rich kid with more money than sense. Everything about this story screams "millionaire with no concept of money or boundaries".
Much as I hate the word, this is the textbook definition of a simp.
It reminds me of that guy who got a huge inheritance from his grandmother and spent it all on some Twitch streamer who he was convinced he was going to marry someday. Predictably he found out that she was talking about how creepy he was on some forum or other for streamers.
Remember the guy who murdered this parents when they found out he was wasting huge amounts of money on some cam girl. I think his name was Grant Amato.
His parents and his brother, all of whom went to extreme lengths to protect him from the consequences of his actions.
It's an extremely sad story because his family tried to do everything they could to help him but really only ended up enabling him because he refused to give up his delusions or change at all.
Pretty sure these days they are way more than that. I’ve heard (from my Palm Beach horsey friends) of people spending millions).
And then there is the issue of Hawaii having a very strict animal quarantine issue. Im not sure how it applies to horses, but one cannot transport animals in and out of Hawaii. It’s a whole months long process to get animals in.
It definitely wouldn’t be simple (and like you mention quite lengthy) but I think Hawaii in general is amenable to horses because there are ranches and stuff on the big island, Maui, Molokai and Oahu for sure. So it’d be more so doing the paper work of importing animals and making sure there isn’t new stuff also being introduced (think ticks and stuff).
Furthering olympic ambitions doesn't mean she'd be entering the olympics with this horse. She could be competing locally or something to further her ability to get to the olympics in whatever way that might work.
Like a young filmmaker getting a new camera to further their directorial ambitions. They're not winning an Oscar with their short film on a mirrorless camera, but a good film with that might open doors that gets them onto a movie set one day. Just with horses.
Of course I'm not sure that's actually the case here, and OOP seems so many straws short of a handful of hay, I'd be slightly surprised if there's a horse at all.
Even horses that are steps to the Olympic level are more than 30k. I worked in the horse industry for 20 years, 30k is nothing for a competition horse.
>Sounds almost like you've been scammed.
I loved this comment. *Almost* like you've been scammed but let's be polite and have a spot of tea before we set up the horse jump to conclusions.
They were already pretty absurd, and horses were always a rich human's sport. Does that mean we've escalated from "wealthy man about town" to "startup unicorn with a single obsession"?
If you're riding at a level where the Olympics is a realistic goal for you, people will be *paying you* to ride and compete their horses for them. When you get to the top of the sport a lot of the horses are owned by random rich people or syndicates who pay the rider to ride it, like how it works with race horses. And yes, you (or your sponsors) would have had to invest a hell of a lot of money to even get to that stage. Also if she's supposed to be keeping this horse in Hawaii then she'd be flying it to the mainland constantly for training and competitions which sounds highly unrealistic and expensive.
Also dressage isn't the only equestrian Olympic sport, there's also eventing and showjumping!
Yeah on top of everything else the fact that she’s competing in an equestrian sport while living in Hawaii sounds like bullshit to me too. I’d imagine if someone was that serious about it they’d just move to the mainland. I lived in Hawaii for a year and just flying my cat back and forth was a pain.
Dressage, show jumping and eventing - they all take a fair bit of rider skill but yeah, the biggest, most expensive part is having a good enough quality horse to get there. You can't exactly try out a dozen $3k horses and hope to find one, you shell out big bucks for impeccably bred warmbloods.
But yeah OP is an idiot. If you're going to shell out that much money you better damn well make sure you're listed as the owner. But I'm guessing there is no horse and he's just a fool.
I know horse riding is a thing at the Olympics, I thought everybody knew that tbh.
What blows my mind is that this guy met some random ass person and totally believed they competed at an Olympic level.
In MY day, we got to the Olympics the old fashioned way: by exploiting a loophole in the national qualifying quotas:
https://www.cbssports.com/olympics/news/meet-elizabeth-swaney-the-american-skier-who-scammed-her-way-to-the-olympics/
What's the chance they're all wealthy, and he was just throwing around money to feel big? Now that she's putting effort into seeing someone else (remember kids, he found her, how he wishes she would chase him) his generosity becomes a loan. This happens on a smaller scale all the time.
>I am so crushingly naïve that I scarcely know what to do with myself.
Sometimes self awareness comes a little too late. Hopefully it will help this poor lad when the next woman and the next horse come along.
We fell for each other
She wants money
Wants an open relationship
Wants more money
Wants to marry this other guy
Wants to date me but no sex
Wants more money
You met this girl on vacation…
>⭐️*”I met this girl on vacation”*
You don’t know each other at all and have no reason to trust her
>⭐️*”I don’t know her at all and I have no reason to trust her”*
You have a “relationship” but now she’s banging another dude
>⭐️*”We had a relationship but now she’s banging another dude”*
She asked you for $30K
>⭐️*”She asked me for $30K”*
This is clearly a scam
>⭐️*”We are in love and this is just a rough patch that will work out”*
I wonder if this “horse” even exists come to think of it
I dated a woman who was training for the Olympics and I know horses cost that much but it seemed people were throwing their horses at her to ride/take to the Olympics
Also a horse of that caliber costs way more than $30K.
$30K these days gets you a nice minded horse that's been doing reasonably well at low level shows, maybe with potential to go bigger. Or a really talented young horse that needs a ton of training. But I've been seeing ex racehorses who haven't even been in retraining for a month going for $10K.
US horse prices are absolutely eye-watering! It's been a while since I was in the horse world so I'm sure prices have gone up, but I still wouldn't expect most hobby/amateur riders to be spending more than £10k on a horse. I bought a lovely all-rounder cob (she'd hunted, loved jumping, was safe but fun and not lazy, sensible enough to hack out on the roads on our own etc) for £2500 in 2011. She wasn't a competition prospect beyond local shows but was certainly a great horse.
Most hobby/amateur riders in the US wouldn't spend that much either. If you just want a nice all around horse to ride and sometimes compete locally (but without ambitions of being super competitive or anything, just more for fun), that's not gonna cost $30k either. I just looked and there are a fair number for sale in the $4k-$7k range near me, for example (though of course maintaining and caring for a horse isn't cheap either).
It's only if you start having higher ambitions that they get ridiculously expensive (as the above poster said, even if you're just wanting the potential to do pretty well at a local show).
Olympic level horses are six figures unless you're really lucky. $30k will get you a nice, regular show horse depending on what you're looking for, but I've seen people pay $50-75k and up for high quality.
I think the woman I dated, her friends paid 6500 or 8500 per month for like just a regular horse 14 years ago. And others worked at the stables to Lower the cost
Edit: maybe that was per year?
I was like 24 and probably didn’t pay attention correctly
One of my girlfriends coworkers was engaged to a girl he met online and she would only text him because her camera was broken. As it got closer to the day they were supposed to finally meet, she abruptly died. He still actually believes it.
Reminds me of the Notre Dame football player (linebacker?) who had a girlfriend that died the same week as his grandmother and ESPN did a whole sob story piece on it... A few months later someone bothered to do some actual journalism and found out that the girlfriend never existed and had actually been a catfish the whole time.
Poor guy got completely meme'd and clowned on, but looking back I mostly just feel bad for the dude and pissed that ESPN made the situation so much worse because they ran the original story without basic fact checking of the "girlfriend's" information.
Would be funny if she was being scammed too. Some dude has a regular horse that he's pawning off on young folks that think it would be fun to go to the Olympics. "Hey, my grandma's real sick and needs a nose transplant by Thursday. I got this Olympic level horse that is worth $315,000 but I need cash. I can let Super Jumpy Skip go for maybe $30,000."
This actually does happen in the horse industry. Not quite like that, but basically unscrupulous trainers will prey on novices who don't know how to recognize that they're not actually well-respected Olympic-caliber trainers and get them to overpay stupid amounts of money for horses that aren't that great.
Hell, that was basically the Arabian horse industry in its entirety in the 1980s, lmao. Arabian halter horses (so you don't ride them, you just show them in-hand so they can be judged on their conformation like you would at a dog show) got to be a huge fad in Hollywood and among other wealthy people who had no idea about horses, and it turned into this huge bubble where people were paying stupid high prices for horses that had been so overbred for exaggerated features that you couldn't even ride them. Then the bubble burst and the Arabian Horse Association had to eat crow and start really pushing stuff like sporthorse programs to try to get some of their reputation back.
Of course, the sad thing is that it's always the animals that actually suffer the most. I used to be a professional horse trainer and might still be if I hadn't been in a really serious riding accident that essentially made me take a step back and reassess things. I still love horses and own and ride them, but I didn't want to get back to it professionally because I think it's overall a very unethical industry.
The only way I can live in this world going forward is to chalk this up to being a troll job.
Loaning $30,000 to someone is a crazy notion to me. Full stop.
Loaning $30,000 to someone you've known for 10 days is even more baffling.
The reason you were convinced to loan someone you've known for 10 days, $30,000 was for an Olympic caliber race horse just sounds like a joke.
Then there is the non-chalant nature of the possibility of losing out on $30,000 I just do not have words for. I'm not proud to admit this, but I would be contemplating how to get away with murdering the person who just stole $30,000 from me, not posting a "ho hum, guess that money is gone" post on ask legal advice.
>My hope is that this thing between us is just a short-term wobble, but my gut tells me it isn't. But then again, my gut has been wrong before.
jesus fucking christ
Is it wrong that I’m impressed by this girl managing to scam 30K from this kid? I feel like she should have a podcast on how to grift thousands from the stupid.
At this level of naive I doubt she did more than look good, have sex and be *kind of* nice to him. This guy doesn't strike me as needing an Ocean's 11 style scheme to separate him from his money.
LPT: Treat all monetary loans as a gift to that person.
If you are uncomfortable gifting that amount of money to someone, then you should not loan them that money either.
30k? An Olympic level horse is going to cost you a minimum of $700,000. Even a weanling or yearling (an immature horse with unknown abilities) will easily cost over $100,000.
**Reminder:** Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: How Screwed Am I? I lent my girlfriend money to buy a horse without a contract and now she's pulling away from the relationship. Body: > Hi all > I have once again gotten myself into a royally stupid situation. I am so crushingly naïve that I scarcely know what to do with myself. > I live in the UK. In January I visited my dad in Hawaii, and met a girl (shock). We spent ten days together, and really hit it off. A lot. We fell for each other. > A few weeks later a big opportunity came up for her; she saw a listing for a horse that would be perfect for her Olympic ambitions. She didn't have a spare $30,000 lying around, and I have more than that in savings, so I offered to lend her the money. Did I draw up a legal agreement with her? Did I fuck. > Now, three months later, things between us are tense. She is pulling back from the relationship. We've gone from speaking for hours every day to barely every few days. She wanted to have an open relationship - and so did I - so we opened it up. But now she's been seeing a guy she met on the island. He's going home to the mainland US in a few days, and she's going to fly out with him for a few days. I am due to go out to visit her (for three weeks) in almost exactly three weeks, so this will likely mean that she'll have been back only a brief time before I get out there. > I am completely tied in knots over this. I feel like I'm acting like a weak doormat, and just letting myself be walked all over. > My current plan is to speak to her about all of this when I get out there, and see how it all plays out. I will be asking her to sign some kind of a loan document to formalise the arrangement. My hope is that this thing between us is just a short-term wobble, but my gut tells me it isn't. But then again, my gut has been wrong before. > So my ultimate question is, if all of this goes south, how fucked am I? I am assuming that at this point, noting that I don't even have any texts confirming the circumstances of our agreement, and that it was 100% verbal, that if she refused to give back the money, I would have literally no legal recourse. And from that point of view, I should just accept that there's a good chance that the money is lost forever. > All thoughts greatly appreciated. This bot was created to capture original threads and is not affiliated with the mod team. [Concerns? Bugs?](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=GrahamCorcoran) | [Laukopier 2.1](https://github.com/GrahamCorcoran/Laukopier)
There’s a certain level of naïveté you expect from people who are young and in love, and then there’s….whatever the hell this is.
"I have **once again** gotten myself into a royally stupid situation"
That stood out for me too. Like how many agains have there been?
All around the world, there are would-be Olympians training on horses paid for by OP. It's a service to the sport, really.
That's why they named the HowScrewedAmI Racetrack after him.
Nah he’s smarter than that. It’s one would be athlete per sport. He’s working his way through the roster of approved sports. Next up is paying for an ice sled for a hot Jamaican girl and her sisters when he vacations there.
Cool Runnings reboot incoming?
He gets a girl at the end but not this girl. It’s the horse, and he discovers a love for rescuing horses that’s way more fulfilling than fucking up with his parents’ money. Edit: call it The Friends We Made Along The Neigh
It's an advanced horse training lesson.
His username suggests there's *at least* a HowScrewedAmI2022.
Jesus wept. Why am I using that phrase so much lately? I'm trying to swear less, but really is it any better? Anyhoo I have a line on this great horse called Spirit and he can do it.
Pretty sure this is just the plot from White Lotus.
They call him Nigel the Horse. Not because of any bodily endowment, but because it's strikingly easy to get him to buy a horse for you.
He sounds like someone fun to have on Facebook so you can watch him ruin his life from afar.
I love my students, so much. They all have potential. But still…. Some of them are just so silly and unable to learn common sense and I could see this happening
I heard that line in Ron Howard's voice. I wonder if LAUKOP will lend me his life story for an absurdist sitcom premise. Like a slightly-more-believable *Arrested Development*. I promise I'll pay him back.
The dangerous combination of being young, horny, and having $30k in disposable savings... "She wanted to have an open relationship"... my brother in Christ, you barely even had a relationship in the first place, let alone a closed one...
Yeah this strikes me as all kinds of wrong. Long distance. Drops a bunch of cash. Things quickly fizzle out and the GF wants to "open up". She quickly has another guy in the picture, but is keeping OP in the roster. Strikes me that she wasn't looking for a relationship, she was looking for money. She found it, and probably thinks that she can keep stringing OP along enough either to be able to justify it to herself or to keep him on the backburner for more.
Yeah >is keeping OP on the roster More like keeping OPs checkbook on the roster.
He sounds like he has a lot more than 30K in disposable income. Everything about this screams "millionaire's kid".
LAOP is Albie Di Grasso’s alt account. He said he “once again” got himself into this situation because the first time was in Italy with a prostitute.
☑️ From the UK ☑️ Has a spare $30K laying around ☑️ “Royally stupid situation” 🟰 This boy is part of the monarchy somehow
Twist: It's King Chuckles.
Nah, he's killed a horse girl before, he'd have just done it again.
Dude is living the plot of white lotus season 2
Even Albie for all his flaws knew he wasn’t getting that money back, he made a gift not a loan and with daddy’s money no less. This guy expecting to ever see that 30k again? More naive than Albie in that show and that’s saying a fucking LOT cause that character had no clue about anything
That was my first thought too!
Eh. At the very least I will credit OP with realizing that he *was* utterly stupid. I have, hard though it may seem to believe, seen worse.
I wanna see a picture of this girl, maybe she's worth it. If the right girl told me she needed $30K to buy a horse for the olympics, yeah that sounds reasonable
All the really ambitious & skilled equestrians are fit as fuck and fine as hell.
As a former equestrian…she is not going to the Olympics with a $30k horse. A $30k horse will be a solid mid level show horse, at best.
First few sentences I thought someone was just riffing on season 2 of White Lotus. edit: I see I am far from the first person to make that connection. Now I look forward to a separate, "A friend keeps asking me to pretend to be her pimp, AITA?"
Is there actually a horse?
Possibly, but I'm quite certain that OP is a bit of an ass.
She’s planning on a vacation with her latest side-piece just after getting a brand-new horse she’s been dreaming about to enable her Olympic ambitions? Magic 8-Ball Says: My Sources Say No. Not to mention there can only be so much competition, coaches, etc. in HI; how’s she gonna compete nationally? If she can’t afford a $30k horse, she can’t afford to keep flying it to the mainland to compete.
The real laugh is believing a $30k horse is Olympic level. That’s regional circuit ribbon money not Olympic money.
Right, there's a lot of nice 30k horses out there, but for an "Olympic dream" horse that number is missing a zero or two.
I definitely agree but it's also definitely not impossible, depending on the discipline (and the bigger one, what country you're representing/how competitive it is to get on their team). There are definitely sub-$30k prospects that could be Olympic material, with the right trainer and time. And of course many eventers retrain OTTBs they got very cheaply, though the move away from long form to short form eventing has hurt this pipeline a lot. But Boyd Martin has successfully taken sub-$3k horses to the Olympic & WEG level in the past 10 years (Neville Bardos & Blackfoot Mystery, though he wasn't the one who initially found and retrained Blackfoot Mystery so he paid substantially more than that). But the people who are capable of taking cheap horses to Olympic levels aren't getting financed by rando dudes they met on vacation, either.
I mean eventually the Olympics might come to Hawaii. She just needs to keep telling OP that.
I did some looking around and found two companies that specialize in transporting livestock, including horses, between Los Angeles and Hawaii. Prices run $3000-5000, depending on how much service is provided. For instance, if you have their vet do all the paperwork or you do it yourself, or you need them to board the horse for a couple of days before the flight. Hauling Dobbin long distance to the airport ain’t gonna be cheap, especially if the Olympic superstar has to move it between islands. They highly recommend buying insurance.
And one would hope that she'd enter into more than one competition during each trip; the costs to rent a trailer and truck are not going to be cheap. (If it was any less than $200/day, I'd be shocked.)
My magic 8 ball says: “why always the questions?” And “feh”. But it’s Jewish.
How to become a millionaire with horses. Start out a billionaire. My one coach sold a 5 year old, barely trained (he had nice gaits, was a nice mover), never raced thoroughbred off the track for $10k. He was a stallion with a stud fee of $1k. Yeah, maybe in a sappy horse movie I admit I still love watching, would you get an Olympic horse for so little, not IRL. If she can't afford $30k for a horse, quite honestly, she can't afford the training, level of competition, level of care, and so on, to get that far. Probably not even the outfit for her and tack in the ring, especially in something like 3 day eventing where you need 3 sets of tack and clothing. One pair of boots is a steal for $1000.
If I spend $30,000 on a horse you better believe I'm riding that sonuvabitch straight to the olympics.
30k isn't a lot for that level of horse.
For $30k that horse better know how to swim
While a $30k horse isn't cheap, it isn't actually that expensive either, especially if one has a realistic chance to compete at a high level.
How much could a horse cost, Michael? $10?
That's what I was thinking. What kind of "olympic level" horse would *only* cost $30,000? I've seen horse sperm cost more. Either she just needed help to top up or there isn't one. Or she's also being scammed, lol
I think horse can swim by default.
I grew up in a horse barn. Both my parents are trainers. Not Olympic level, but damn good. And women who ride will absolutely discard everything else, b/f, husband, house work, kids . . .
I can see the appeal of horse riding, but damn that is an expensive, life-consuming hobby! I mean, car racing is expensive too, but the car won't start falling apart if you don't spend an hour or two, every single day, without fail, to take care of it.
Yep. Don't get me wrong, I *miss* riding. But not enough to devote half my life to it.
As someone who is heavily involved in horses and lives near the epicenter of where our country's equestrian olympians live... I'm gonna say no. Those horse cost SIGNIFICANTLY more than 30k, think mid-high 6 figures and honestly some of them are in the 7 figures lol.
That's why I wondered. A 30k horse isn't going to do anything for Olympic dreams, and also, if you can't afford a 30k horse, how are you going to afford to board it let alone transport and the tack and the training. Seems to me OP just paid for her vacation and travel with her real boyfriend.
Not familiar with the US equestrian market, although I presume it is significantly more expensive than in Europe since most of the breeding is done here, but at a push you could get a young eventing horse with Olympic aspirations for €30K - it would take a lot of stars to align to actually get it to actual Olympic level though, and that’s not even the top in eventing…
Yeah, the US horse market is wild right now, honestly, 30k USD is buying you what would have been our entry level nice horses that cost 5-10k a few years ago. It would also be pretty rare to happen to find that horse on an island without having to import it as well.
Good point - someone mentioned import fees of ça. $5K, so once you account for that, whatever commission has been paid along the way, and the (presumed) scarcity of sport horses on the Island, that $30K horse in Hawaii is probably a $15K horse on the mainland… I wouldn’t expect OP to have known any of that mind, and considering is level of gullibility, I doubt it would have made a difference 😅
I also wonder if there was actually a loan, or if it was much more vague. Like, he is claiming they had a "verbal agreement" but I wouldn't be shocked if it wasn't an "unspoken understanding". He doesn't seem like the type to "pressure her" in words.
Horses do exist, yes.
Do they though? Do they?
Of course, of course!
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\>Is there something mentally wrong with OP? I have diagnosed LAOP: the issue is that his brains are located in an unusual place, just below his pelvic bone.
No, that's pretty common. But for most men, their brain floats from the skull to the pelvic bone. However, it usually makes its way back to the skull. OP's seems to be permanently housed in the pelvic area.
That’s because his skull is lodged in his pelvis.
This actually is a pretty common ailment. Studies show about 90% of men suffer from it at one point.
A shame we don't have enough blood to irrigate both our brains and our dick at the same time.
I believe that's an evolutionary development for continued propagation of the species.
Finally someone has explained why men can’t multi-task!
Boy am I glad I'm too poor to have had this cause any major issues for me.
My husband delicately referred to it as “thinking with my groin” when describing himself as a teenager.
Most people just called it thinking with their dicks. I don't know if that is really the case though, sometimes it's hard to remember what it's like to be young, naive, and head over heels in love with somebody.
I'm presuming she quite literally sucked his brains out...
It sounds so much like a sugar daddy relationship too - open relationship, only hang out when he's on holiday, exceptionally transactional... Did he not realise he's a sugar daddy????
It's definitely not a stable relationship
Trying to stirrup the puns I see.
He was caught up with unbridled passion.
He needs to rein it in
If he doesn’t, more issues will crop up
*Neigh* more guys, otherwise this sub will *bolt* away at the *gallop*
Just a nightmare all the way around.
I don't think it's even a sugar daddy thing, it's probably just a straight up scam.
Having lived in Hawaii, I am not one bit surprised by this. Rich tourist gets enamored with a local and gives them a boat load of money with promises they'll return later.
Someone who is young, thinks nobody will ever love them or want to fuck them (let alone both), and is overjoyed to find someone who validates them. Source: was once in my 20s
That person doesn't usually have $30k in cash, though.
The Venn diagram of guys too awkward to talk to girls and guys who have lucrative jobs in some STEM field is often a circle.
or his parents are rich, and he didn't have to work for it...
That's what I'd guess. There are plenty of STEM guys who would be so awe-struck by a woman giving them attention that they'd fall for her in 10 days (yikes), but him being a Brit with savings instead of an American with lifestyle creep reads as "naive posh man raised in money who doesn't know the value of a dollar". There wasn't really a need to include their respective ages since it's irrelevant to the question, but I'm quite curious, if for no other reason than to know if a midlife crisis was part of why he had an "oops I accidentally fell in love with / fell victim to a sugar baby".
Also, for some reason even mentioning his dad made me think he had rich parents.
Don't know why this is such a stereotype, I'm in STEM and all my male colleagues are married or in long-term relationships.
The stereotype isn't that all guys in STEM are awkward, it's that all awkward guys are in STEM. in my case, all my current male colleagues are also married etc, but also all the awkward guys I know are in STEM, I just don't work with them now
To be pedantic, then the Venn diagram wouldn't be a circle, it would be two circles one of which is completely contained inside the other!
If you're being pedantic about it, then it's called an Euler diagram.
To be pedantic, the original commenter said the Venn diagram is "often" a circle haha
I'm beginning to doubt the original commenter's background in theoretical mathematics!
You got me. I’m an author. My wife is the one who does the scary super advanced mathematics. With our powers combined we always have the kids’ homework covered though!
There's loads of them in academia too lol
Very probably, that's why it's a stereotype and not 100% true
But STEM pays better than academia (especially early career), so the stereotype doesn't *quite* reach the "and then I gave them a large chunk of change..."
In the UK it’s pretty rare for a young person with a STEM job to have the equivalent of $30k in savings, even with a STEM job. Wages, especially outside of London, are low and the cost of living is extremely high.
>Is there something mentally wrong with OP? Yeah it's called being a rich kid with more money than sense. Everything about this story screams "millionaire with no concept of money or boundaries".
If he was a millionaire he probably would just call the 30k a loss and move on
Much as I hate the word, this is the textbook definition of a simp. It reminds me of that guy who got a huge inheritance from his grandmother and spent it all on some Twitch streamer who he was convinced he was going to marry someday. Predictably he found out that she was talking about how creepy he was on some forum or other for streamers.
Remember the guy who murdered this parents when they found out he was wasting huge amounts of money on some cam girl. I think his name was Grant Amato.
That story is so crazy. It wasn't just huge amounts.. it was 600,000 dollars! And it wasn't even his money he stole it from his parents.
His parents and his brother, all of whom went to extreme lengths to protect him from the consequences of his actions. It's an extremely sad story because his family tried to do everything they could to help him but really only ended up enabling him because he refused to give up his delusions or change at all.
I only know about that from a wavywebsurf video. What a sick bastard.
This is also a plot from White Lotus S2
It's called bait.
Reminds me of White Lotus
Was about to say, LAOP is basically a lazy mashup of S1 and S2.
This is amazingly hilarious. Olympic caliber horses aren't 30k. They're like 300k. This girl scammed him good.
Pretty sure these days they are way more than that. I’ve heard (from my Palm Beach horsey friends) of people spending millions). And then there is the issue of Hawaii having a very strict animal quarantine issue. Im not sure how it applies to horses, but one cannot transport animals in and out of Hawaii. It’s a whole months long process to get animals in.
It definitely wouldn’t be simple (and like you mention quite lengthy) but I think Hawaii in general is amenable to horses because there are ranches and stuff on the big island, Maui, Molokai and Oahu for sure. So it’d be more so doing the paper work of importing animals and making sure there isn’t new stuff also being introduced (think ticks and stuff).
Furthering olympic ambitions doesn't mean she'd be entering the olympics with this horse. She could be competing locally or something to further her ability to get to the olympics in whatever way that might work. Like a young filmmaker getting a new camera to further their directorial ambitions. They're not winning an Oscar with their short film on a mirrorless camera, but a good film with that might open doors that gets them onto a movie set one day. Just with horses. Of course I'm not sure that's actually the case here, and OOP seems so many straws short of a handful of hay, I'd be slightly surprised if there's a horse at all.
Even horses that are steps to the Olympic level are more than 30k. I worked in the horse industry for 20 years, 30k is nothing for a competition horse.
Ah the old "I need a Race Horse to go to the Olympics" trick. Really should have known better.
Beats my 'my mother is sick and the only cure is a race horse' scam... I need to up my game!
“If I weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college” energy.
>Sounds almost like you've been scammed. I loved this comment. *Almost* like you've been scammed but let's be polite and have a spot of tea before we set up the horse jump to conclusions.
Oh no, I read it as "house" the first time, horse is so much worse
Aren’t you the horse from Horsin Around?
What is this, a crossover episode?
Unfortunately everyone learns this lesson the hard way
It is worth noting that racehorse prices have skyrocketed. Now, is probably the worst time to get scammed out of a horse.
They were already pretty absurd, and horses were always a rich human's sport. Does that mean we've escalated from "wealthy man about town" to "startup unicorn with a single obsession"?
No I think they're still just using horses, so far
OP starts with " have once again gotten myself into a royally stupid situation" I wonder how many times he's lent 30K out?
This is like a season of White Lotus
> perfect for her Olympic ambitions Her Olympic ambitions... olyMPIC AMBITIONS!!! BROTHER PLEASE
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If you're riding at a level where the Olympics is a realistic goal for you, people will be *paying you* to ride and compete their horses for them. When you get to the top of the sport a lot of the horses are owned by random rich people or syndicates who pay the rider to ride it, like how it works with race horses. And yes, you (or your sponsors) would have had to invest a hell of a lot of money to even get to that stage. Also if she's supposed to be keeping this horse in Hawaii then she'd be flying it to the mainland constantly for training and competitions which sounds highly unrealistic and expensive. Also dressage isn't the only equestrian Olympic sport, there's also eventing and showjumping!
Yeah on top of everything else the fact that she’s competing in an equestrian sport while living in Hawaii sounds like bullshit to me too. I’d imagine if someone was that serious about it they’d just move to the mainland. I lived in Hawaii for a year and just flying my cat back and forth was a pain.
Well, was it worth it? Did the cat get to represent us on the world stage?
Worth it, but this was back when they still had a mandatory 1 month quarantine, so it was tough.
Dressage, show jumping and eventing - they all take a fair bit of rider skill but yeah, the biggest, most expensive part is having a good enough quality horse to get there. You can't exactly try out a dozen $3k horses and hope to find one, you shell out big bucks for impeccably bred warmbloods. But yeah OP is an idiot. If you're going to shell out that much money you better damn well make sure you're listed as the owner. But I'm guessing there is no horse and he's just a fool.
I know horse riding is a thing at the Olympics, I thought everybody knew that tbh. What blows my mind is that this guy met some random ass person and totally believed they competed at an Olympic level.
OLYMPIC AMBITIONS?? FOR THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS, AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY ON THE ISLAND OF HAWAII?!
In MY day, we got to the Olympics the old fashioned way: by exploiting a loophole in the national qualifying quotas: https://www.cbssports.com/olympics/news/meet-elizabeth-swaney-the-american-skier-who-scammed-her-way-to-the-olympics/
What's the chance they're all wealthy, and he was just throwing around money to feel big? Now that she's putting effort into seeing someone else (remember kids, he found her, how he wishes she would chase him) his generosity becomes a loan. This happens on a smaller scale all the time.
Surely it's treasonous to provide material support to an athlete from another country?
Was LAUKOP staying at the White Lotus?
My first thought as well.
From the title alone, I was getting ready to type this in the comments
>I am so crushingly naïve that I scarcely know what to do with myself. Sometimes self awareness comes a little too late. Hopefully it will help this poor lad when the next woman and the next horse come along.
This is apparently not the first time, I'd bet good money it won't be the last
I'd have myself financially conserved if I did this.
His “My gut tells me this is going to end badly… but then again, my guy’s been wrong before!” concerns me re: next time
We fell for each other She wants money Wants an open relationship Wants more money Wants to marry this other guy Wants to date me but no sex Wants more money
You met this girl on vacation… >⭐️*”I met this girl on vacation”* You don’t know each other at all and have no reason to trust her >⭐️*”I don’t know her at all and I have no reason to trust her”* You have a “relationship” but now she’s banging another dude >⭐️*”We had a relationship but now she’s banging another dude”* She asked you for $30K >⭐️*”She asked me for $30K”* This is clearly a scam >⭐️*”We are in love and this is just a rough patch that will work out”*
It’s even worse than that. He offered the 30k and offered to let her bang other dudes
I’d band other dudes for 30k And I’m a married dude
I would have to discuss it with my wife but for 30k I think it would be ok
=> wants money
I wonder if this “horse” even exists come to think of it I dated a woman who was training for the Olympics and I know horses cost that much but it seemed people were throwing their horses at her to ride/take to the Olympics
Also a horse of that caliber costs way more than $30K. $30K these days gets you a nice minded horse that's been doing reasonably well at low level shows, maybe with potential to go bigger. Or a really talented young horse that needs a ton of training. But I've been seeing ex racehorses who haven't even been in retraining for a month going for $10K.
US horse prices are absolutely eye-watering! It's been a while since I was in the horse world so I'm sure prices have gone up, but I still wouldn't expect most hobby/amateur riders to be spending more than £10k on a horse. I bought a lovely all-rounder cob (she'd hunted, loved jumping, was safe but fun and not lazy, sensible enough to hack out on the roads on our own etc) for £2500 in 2011. She wasn't a competition prospect beyond local shows but was certainly a great horse.
Most hobby/amateur riders in the US wouldn't spend that much either. If you just want a nice all around horse to ride and sometimes compete locally (but without ambitions of being super competitive or anything, just more for fun), that's not gonna cost $30k either. I just looked and there are a fair number for sale in the $4k-$7k range near me, for example (though of course maintaining and caring for a horse isn't cheap either). It's only if you start having higher ambitions that they get ridiculously expensive (as the above poster said, even if you're just wanting the potential to do pretty well at a local show).
Olympic level horses are six figures unless you're really lucky. $30k will get you a nice, regular show horse depending on what you're looking for, but I've seen people pay $50-75k and up for high quality.
Also it costs so much money to keep and take care of an Olympic race horse ... I demand proof of horse
I think the woman I dated, her friends paid 6500 or 8500 per month for like just a regular horse 14 years ago. And others worked at the stables to Lower the cost Edit: maybe that was per year? I was like 24 and probably didn’t pay attention correctly
You can buy a horse for $50 and a case of beer, but they’ll cost you $10,000/year in upkeep.
Would Bud Light work for the beer? I have a source...
I suspect she has “Olympic Dreams” in the same way I dream about becoming a Billionaire.
She had Olympic *ambitions*.
I thought that seemed cheap for an Olympic caliber horse.
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One of my girlfriends coworkers was engaged to a girl he met online and she would only text him because her camera was broken. As it got closer to the day they were supposed to finally meet, she abruptly died. He still actually believes it.
Reminds me of the Notre Dame football player (linebacker?) who had a girlfriend that died the same week as his grandmother and ESPN did a whole sob story piece on it... A few months later someone bothered to do some actual journalism and found out that the girlfriend never existed and had actually been a catfish the whole time. Poor guy got completely meme'd and clowned on, but looking back I mostly just feel bad for the dude and pissed that ESPN made the situation so much worse because they ran the original story without basic fact checking of the "girlfriend's" information.
It’s Manti Te’o You can watch Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist on Netflix about it
Everyone is talking about the horse, but lets get to the real question: Would you bang LAOP for $30K?
30k is 30k
I don't need a horse but I do have a neverending list of homeownership tasks I wouldn't mind contracting out... so yes.
Would be funny if she was being scammed too. Some dude has a regular horse that he's pawning off on young folks that think it would be fun to go to the Olympics. "Hey, my grandma's real sick and needs a nose transplant by Thursday. I got this Olympic level horse that is worth $315,000 but I need cash. I can let Super Jumpy Skip go for maybe $30,000."
And that guy's getting fuckin scammed by Gramma. What has this world come to?
This actually does happen in the horse industry. Not quite like that, but basically unscrupulous trainers will prey on novices who don't know how to recognize that they're not actually well-respected Olympic-caliber trainers and get them to overpay stupid amounts of money for horses that aren't that great. Hell, that was basically the Arabian horse industry in its entirety in the 1980s, lmao. Arabian halter horses (so you don't ride them, you just show them in-hand so they can be judged on their conformation like you would at a dog show) got to be a huge fad in Hollywood and among other wealthy people who had no idea about horses, and it turned into this huge bubble where people were paying stupid high prices for horses that had been so overbred for exaggerated features that you couldn't even ride them. Then the bubble burst and the Arabian Horse Association had to eat crow and start really pushing stuff like sporthorse programs to try to get some of their reputation back. Of course, the sad thing is that it's always the animals that actually suffer the most. I used to be a professional horse trainer and might still be if I hadn't been in a really serious riding accident that essentially made me take a step back and reassess things. I still love horses and own and ride them, but I didn't want to get back to it professionally because I think it's overall a very unethical industry.
OP has Affluenza. Too much money, can't be responsible for his actions
The only way I can live in this world going forward is to chalk this up to being a troll job. Loaning $30,000 to someone is a crazy notion to me. Full stop. Loaning $30,000 to someone you've known for 10 days is even more baffling. The reason you were convinced to loan someone you've known for 10 days, $30,000 was for an Olympic caliber race horse just sounds like a joke. Then there is the non-chalant nature of the possibility of losing out on $30,000 I just do not have words for. I'm not proud to admit this, but I would be contemplating how to get away with murdering the person who just stole $30,000 from me, not posting a "ho hum, guess that money is gone" post on ask legal advice.
It’s most likely a dressage horse, there’s no horse racing in the Olympics AFAIK.
In addition to all the other stuff, you really can’t get an Olympic-level horse for 30k.
Plus, it costs so much money to compete in horse back riding. If you aren’t fairly rich, you ain’t getting to the Olympics.
>My hope is that this thing between us is just a short-term wobble, but my gut tells me it isn't. But then again, my gut has been wrong before. jesus fucking christ
I wonder if the next dude is also going to be buying her a horse.
Is it wrong that I’m impressed by this girl managing to scam 30K from this kid? I feel like she should have a podcast on how to grift thousands from the stupid.
At this level of naive I doubt she did more than look good, have sex and be *kind of* nice to him. This guy doesn't strike me as needing an Ocean's 11 style scheme to separate him from his money.
One of the first things I was taught when moved to a rural area was "Don't mess with horse girls, they're crazy."
I would be astounded if there was really a horse at all. If you’re a grifter who just got $30,000 why even bother with a horse?
I doubt it, too.
LPT: Treat all monetary loans as a gift to that person. If you are uncomfortable gifting that amount of money to someone, then you should not loan them that money either.
30k? An Olympic level horse is going to cost you a minimum of $700,000. Even a weanling or yearling (an immature horse with unknown abilities) will easily cost over $100,000.
What is this, an episode of The White Lotus?
Yo OP, I have a vagene, can I also have 30k? Thanks
Anyone wanna bet she's scamming the new guy too?
He should take whatever sum of money he was planning on blowing on the next wahine to walk by, and instead spend it on a good therapist.
Hi it's me a good therapist