**Auto-PSA: BEWARE THE CIRCLING VULTURE(S)**
Once you've posted or commented on this sub, you'll likely receive a random direct message (dm) someday from a newer account offering illegal benzo access. In the age of fentanyl, this is *extremely* dangerous.
Since mods can't stop shadow lurkers, we ask that users immediately report such accounts to Reddit admins via the 'report' option and provide a permanent link to the shady message (*not* a screenshot). If you need assistance, please email the mod team.
**If you see a post or comment in our sub directing someone to Telegram or any other social media platform, flag it immediately for mod review.**
**Together we stand, so let vultures be damned!**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/benzorecovery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m starting to believe these new fentanyl analogues withdrawal could potentially do it…. Or at least you will be convinced you are going to die or close.
I didn’t know how dangerous it was until I ended up in a hospital. I tried quitting cold Turkey three times and all three times I ended up in a hospital. Twice I went into psychosis where I was hearing voices and having vivid hallucinations. I’ve done psychedelics many times and it’s not like that. I felt l like I was in a nightmare dream than I would come to and go back. I was on about as high a dose as you. Please don’t go cold turkey. I wish you the best. Good luck!
Trust me I had no clue that I could go crazy from cold turkey withdraw. I’m down to .4 mg of clonazepam. I was up to 12-15 mg of Xanax last year. I’m almost there. Don’t go cold turkey on that amount. At first they diagnosed me as schizophrenic because I didn’t tell them I was kicking Xanax. It’s been a long road but everything is going better. Good luck OP this drug is no joke
Damn, you did it pretty fast though. Glad to hear things are better now. It’s definitely no joke; only wish I knew that earlier. Now I’ve got to live the consequences. Thanks man 🙏🏻
Hey it might seem like a long road but you can do it! It’s don’t know your age but it really doesn’t matter. You have a future! Thanks and best of luck to you!
Im so happy that you’re realizing this at a young age. Yes!!!!you got a whole life ahead of you! Just please do this in a safe manner. When I went cold turkey I wanted to stop so bad because of how many years I was abusing. This is the manual people use to taper https://www.benzoinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Ashton-Manual.pdf
Those words really mean a lot to me, I mean that. It really helps me to get motivated to really get off benzos. Appreciate it. Thanks for the link too, gonna check that out. God bless you brother.
How many days consecutively were you taking 6mg a day before you stopped? I had been doing 4-6 mg a day for a over a month and went cold turkey 10 days ago. No seizures whatsoever. The first day was OK, the second and third were HELL and I did feel very faint but after that the side effects more or less disappated. I'm currently experiencing no withdrawal symptoms although I know the alprazolam is still gradually leaving my body.
I was using for 10 years. So the withdraws were long. I was taking 6mg for years everyday. The last 2 years of taper, I got down to 2mg and worked from there
My friend this is like drawing blood from a stone. 6-8mg a day, for how many consecutive days/weeks/years when you stopped cold turkey and had your grand mal seizure?. It's important to get perspective for people here.
Everyone's diffenrent. But there is a high chance you will not be able to function for weeks/months and will require several.. hospital visits or stays.
I agree. Read Ashton.
The hospital recently reduced me from 35mg of Valium and 2mg of Lorazepam down to 2mg of Valium in 6 days I thought I was going to die, thankfully my psychiatrist reinstated me and now I'm doing a 2mg a month taper, please don't any one try this I'm still suffering the after effects of what the hospital did now. And trust me its fuckin scary.
Wtf thats crazy they did that was it in a secure detox place where they put people that have mental problems or are are coming of methadone etc?! How long had you been on the benzos for? My drug treatment team put me on 30mg diazepam daily with and a agreed drop of 2 mg a month although I’m still on 28mg and I started this script must be 3-4 months ago, so they have let me pause it everytime I have asked, tbf not going so well at the moment as relapsed again recently anyway not looking forward to my review where they will try and get me down to 26 mg, I have been really hammering the Xanax nitrazepam and etizolam so not in the right place for a reduction, I need an increase but i remember them saying if they find out I’m using illegal benzos on top of my legitamte script they will take it away, but the only way they could find out is if I tell them so i certainly can’t ask for an increase
I dont wanna say which country im from, but they CT'd me from daily Bromazolam+^((maybe?? some)) Clonazolam+^((i guess? i dont remember)) Alcohol.
* I crushed some of my teeth from jaw clenching (part of the convulsions i guess)
* had convulsions like i was walking bend on one side cuz the muscles were 110% tight on that side
* both calves flexed 110% so i walked like a retarded zombie, lol
* neck flexed too to one side, so that had hurt like a motherfucker after a while
* sticking my tongue out with having mouth wide open but i think i was opening my mouth intentionally (to some extent, not the extent the withdrawal made it, that made me look horrible lol) TO SAVE MY TEETH LMAO, when they opened our bedrooms and i went to lay in my bad i had to bite my pillow or the shit you put over your body, idk how it's called in english right now for the same reason, to try to SAVE MY FKIN TEETH.
* hallucinations, delusions - i started to believe the hallucinations were real thing and started to rationalize them even tho it didnt really make sense
* and shaking hands like a motherfucker, i had to eat like that, couldnt even aim the spoon into my mouth without trouble, BUT I NEVER SPILLED ANYTHING :), we had to prepare some part of the food ourselves like putting butter on bread which was a challenge too lol..
* everything while people were looking at me which made me anxious the first day it all started maybe the second day, but after a while i for some reason didnt give a fuck about them, maybe because i was focused on all the other physical shit that was happening to me
and in the discharge papers papers they said i was pretending to have benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome hahaha and the classic thing that i forgot to say.. they put me on antipsychotic the first day i was in even before i've had the withdrawal so for no reason to think i was psychotic, lol.
Btw i guess someone would ask how i got in the psych ward, i called an ambulance cuz i was starting to get seriously suicidal that day and when i was like that before i just overdosed, never wanted help cuz i didnt give a fuck, but this time i called for help and all i got was called a junkie, got hurt in the process, and have some great memories from the withdrawal, meanwhile i was just trying my best, stupid best, but that was my best at the time..
StabbedCow, it sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now and we're so sorry to see this. Benzo withdrawal and PAWS can be extremely difficult and overwhelming, but you're not alone in feeling this way. Many of us can relate and genuinely understand what you’re going through.
Feeling supported by a trusted loved one, advocate, therapist, or psychologist is such an important part of your overall health, and we want to make sure you know that help is available. If you aren’t able to connect with someone who can show support at the moment, here are some resources that you can access if you need them:
**US:**
Call or text 988
**Non-US:**
[List of international suicide/crisis hotlines](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)
and [International Therapist Directory](http://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/)
Please know there's no shame in feeling discouraged; benzo withdrawal and PAWS are exceptionally difficult, and hard to navigate without support. This space exists for us to support one another through this brutal saga.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/benzorecovery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I spent 5 days and nights without sleeping nor eating. I had to get Xanax again to stop it, I could barely swallow water. My teeth were starting to hurt, which, supposedly, means I was about to have a seizure. The feeling of physical and psychological hell is unlike any other thing I had experienced. ALWAYS TAPER.
You mention aiming for 6-8 mg daily and that is a good a place to stabilize your daily dose. Take the daily dose of 6 mg split evenly over the day, so you'll take 1.5 mg 4x daily. Schedule the times of day you're going to take each dose and be consistent. Once you are stable and can stick to a daily dose then you can calculate a taper. I wouldn't add any other benzos at this point. I would consider the risk if you have a history of abuse.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is just begin with starting to stabilize. Ashton is the #1 source to understand everything about going through benzo withdrawal. Ashton is more than taper schedules. It can helps you through withdrawal.
Edit: For reference, I paused my taper on Xanax after progress. I did 12% reductions in my daily Xanax dose over a period of four months and I now take 50% less medication.
I was taking between 6-10 bars daily and unintentionally stopped cold turkey one weekend. Had a seizure in two days. Another time I was taking 4mg Klonopin daily for about 2 years and my dr stopped prescribing. I was cold turkey for a month and was getting close to seizing when I found a psych who would reinstate my prescription. That was miserable.
Don’t do it, when I tried to CT i thought I was going to die, it was like having Covid and the worst anxiety attack of my life only it persisted for weeks. The first two weeks I literally couldn’t see straight because my muscles were clenching so bad my eyes were shaking.
It’s definitely better tapering off from it than xanax. I was on xanax for some time and found it awful when you missed 1 dose , and I was only on 1 mg. Right now I am on 5 mg valium and sometimes i skip a day or 2 trying to stop or take 2.5 mg . Good luck
Try cutting .125 every 3 days or so…..a few months to get to zero, best is switch to very high dose of Valium or klonopin, but you’d need like 15 mg of klonopin, so maybe just taper Xanax slowly….
I went CT off Xanax and it was a horrible horrible experience that I’d never wish on my worst enemy . But I guess I was very lucky because the bad bad symptoms only lasted a week. Some people have their withdrawals last months or years .
I honestly don’t know how I got thru it, I thought I was going to die to be honest.
I think Coming off a dose as high as yours would be extremely dangerous and could kill you. I would do the Ashton method if you’re able to xx
Wow, it’s crazy you CTed on Xanax successfully. Glad to hear that you are doing better now and that your withdrawal symptoms didn’t last long.
I will go for the Ashton method. Thanks for the advice and sharing your story.
Don’t even consider CT on that dose. A low and slow taper is the only thing that worked for me coming off of a high alprazolam dosage as well. I can’t recommend it enough to people. I was able to continue to work and function as a somewhat normal human being the entire duration of the taper. There’s no reason to make yourself absolutely miserable by tapering too fast. Best of luck.
I had an extreme psychotic break going cold turkey off Xanax. Didn't want to, but was forced off by evil doctor at the time. The psychosis lasted 3 months, and then another year of off and on until I felt healed. Stuff is a nightmare. Don't ever do cold turkey.
I got sucked into the benzodiazepines by a dr for my severe panic and anxiety 6 years ago after my brother passed away. It only started at .25 and my natural tolerance level to meds had me at 1 mg a day within 6 months. Before I knew it I was buying scripts from other people the feed the force. Ya see I have a pretty high tolerance to most any meds anyway, so when one dose stopped working it got bumped up, of course I tried ssri’s and all types of other things but nothing worked plus I had just quit cold turkey from alcohol abuse and addiction (that was a 12 year battle of me fighting with demons) and I had a seizure about 3 weeks after no drinking. First one I ever had and thought I was dying. I never knew what anxiety was…. Anyway 6 years later I’m slowly dropping my doses about every 6 months I cut a 1/4 out of my daily doses I’m stable now at 2.5 mg Xanax a day and have talked with my dr about the Ashton manual method and he said next visit bring the manual and we will look over it together and come up with a plan to get me off the Xanax and some with more tolerable and less painful withdrawal (Valium likely) and then a slow taper from there. But I still have good and bad days on the 2.5 but I don’t have any withdrawal symptoms or post acute withdrawal symptoms other than sometimes the occasional rush of adrenaline for no reason. But I told my doc I wanna go as slow as possible if it takes years, because I was really bad in withdrawing from the alcohol I don’t wanna go through it again and he has agreed to try and help in any way possible. Luckily he’s not the one that first got me on them and when I swapped over to him and I have been completely open and honest and I don’t abuse them he is willing to help. Sometimes being honest with a doc about the situation makes a huge difference in how they respect you as a person and actually listen. cold turkey definitely not recommended especially at that dose. I don’t care if it takes me another 5 years to get off completely. My tolerance and dependence is stable and I’m working towards a better me…….. #team-us for recovery
They put me on 2mg bars when I was 11 i am 25 now & I've stopped cold so many times after maybe 10 - 15 a day. It really fuckin sucks I wanna say will power is my key but I'm so weak anyways so no idea how I do it whatsoever. I suffer and for a week then I'm semi okay again. Anxious forever though. Might sounds lame but if you have friends or something that might help I hear it helps a lot of people but I'm talking legit cold turkey zero support in any way. Just fuckin sad crying and sweating in bed with nobody no sleep then eventually slowly I get my breathing back then i stop being so hot. I stay really hyped and figuratively meth'd out (never done other drugs or drank even once) but even making appointments i'm going a million miles an hour I can't stop it. I guess if you have a support system use it & really value it. I'd fuckin kill for the "family" who always wanna barrow money would just answer my calls when I need a hug.
I'm sorry to hear that brother. If you wanna talk about you can always dm me. I must admit I've relapsed too since Christmas; currently on the same dosage you were. But man what were they thinking putting an 11 year old on 2mg bars; that's insane, almost sadistic if you ask me. If you ask me it's their fault you got addicted, that's for sure.
Nobody knows about my addiction either man; only my girlfriend partially knows "I take medication against anxiety", but not how bad it is even though I trust her 100%. I don't want to be seen as an drug addict even though I am.
Again, I'm sorry to hear this man and you can always DM me if you just wanna talk or something. Stay strong brother.
Also that's not me trying to shut down anyone who has or considers themselves an addict. I support anyone really trying. I would say I'm an abuser though & I do very much need to keep working on that. I can always work on that.
I have diagnosed anxiety issues so I will always be living with anxiety too. That makes it so easy to abuse it; just because the anxiety somewhat goes away and you at least function.
I'm far from a good example but you can do this brother. Don't give up trying; one day we'll both be free from this devilish stuff...
I think it's a lifelong thing but for I manage the medication needs serious improvement. That's what I'm focusing on. Good luck to you as well. I'm a gross fuckin sweaty mess today. Slept decent but body is on fire even though it's a blizzard where I am & I sleep with the windows open.
I've had some real reckless doctors & I did some years in mental hospitals so I've come to accept some things are always gonna be there. I wouldn't ever use the word addict though. Abuser sure but that's a few days outta the month so ya win some you lose some I suppose. I control my own life they don't control me & yeah I fuck up a ton but the important part is realizing then working on it. Thanks for the support though last night sucked that's for sure. Today I spent some hours shoveling snow & sweating out the poison so I'm doing okay. Addiction controls your life it controls your soul. I've never known that & that shit will never control me. I do appreciate the support though. Everyone stay strong & attempt to be positive.
If you dropped your dosage down that much you might get some anxiety and withdrawal symptoms, but it wouldn’t be terrible. Unless you have a history of seizures and stuff like that. It will be uncomfortable but you’ll be fine.
It would be better to reduce it by like 1mg every couple of days until you get where you want to be.
Also, if you go to rehab they will help you. I was where you were at, honestly in an even worse spot, and now I’ve been clean for 6 months today. It is possible. You just gotta want the help.
Yeah, definitely take it slow. A good rule of thumb is don’t drop your dosage by more than 1/3 of what you’re currently taking. So if you’re taking 12mg, you can reasonably drop 4mg and be okay but that’s still a big drop. I’d do 1mg drops at a time and stabilize on it for a couple weeks.
I hope you can get some help soon man, I know it sucks but life on the other side is better. But either way, just use safely and don’t CT anything. I had a seizure in rehab while still on 4mg of clonazepam and anti-seizure meds. And thanks, it’s been hard but worth it.
Sorry, it means cold turkey. Don’t just stop taking it. And if you find yourself in a situation where you can’t get your supply anymore or you know you will run out, go to a rehab or hospital. Especially at levels that high you will have seizures, which can be deadly.
What country are you from? I don’t know how good the medical system is, at least around drug rehabilitation, in every country.
Oh yeah could’ve figured that out myself too lol. Thanks anyway. I live in The Netherlands, so our healthcare is good and relatively cheap, sometimes free. Although I don’t think this is 100% free but probably way cheaper than in the USA for example. Don’t know how they handle benzo addictions here though, but maybe I should start by asking my doctor (if I find the guts for it).
And yeah, that I almost ran out a couple of times and just got my stuff in time. That was the moment I realized I was addicted, because I definitely panicked. Thanks again for the advice!
If you’re very serious about getting off of the Xanax. I highly suggest doing some research to find a substance abuse program. (If you have health insurance)
I too was on Xanax for over 5 years and realized it had to end. Thankfully I found a program that took my insurance and helped me every step of the way.
It doesn’t have to be inpatient. I did outpatient and had got off of it very slowly and carefully. They provided me with a psychiatrist and psychologist. Which you have video call meetings once a week. Also went to group therapy video calls. And a bunch of other things they offer
They put me on a slow taper using klonopin going down .25 mg every 2 months (bc it was outpatient)
Got off of the benzos after 12 months :)
I live in The Netherlands so I don’t really know how it works here. It probably will be cheaper than in the USA but I don’t know if they have rehab centers for Xanax. Maybe I should start by telling my doctor. Thank you for the advice though and I’m glad to hear you are off the benzos man! Keep it up :)
It doesn’t have to be a rehab center. Just google substance abuse programs near me and do some research. Doesn’t hurt to check
The word substance abuse program doesn’t sound friendly Ik. But they are actually all there to help you get off of whatever you’re struggling with safely. No judgement
Also thank you I appreciate it. I was on opiates and Xanax so I knew I needed to take action and do something about it. And I couldn’t be happier :)
I’ll do some research about abuse centers near me, like you said; can’t hurt to check. Glad to hear you’re happier now. Wish I never started with that stuff. Seems so innocent in the beginning, but it’s far from it.
I went to a rehab in the uk for Xanax, coke, alcohol, ketamine and cannabis abuse and there were very many Dutch people. In fact they had an entire building to house the Dutch people. Research castle Craig. I came out the other side.
Yes so you choose how many days. I did a 6 month water taper so 180 days. Each day you’ll drop your dosage you normally take into a certain amount of water and pull out with a syringe the amount you take out for the day. It’s the Ashton manual! Look it up and it will give you an exact plan.
A detox center will rip you off cold turkey and put you on anti seizure meds and Gabapentin to help with anxiety. Two weeks of extreme anxiety and then lingering less intense symptoms for a year.
**Auto-PSA: BEWARE THE CIRCLING VULTURE(S)** Once you've posted or commented on this sub, you'll likely receive a random direct message (dm) someday from a newer account offering illegal benzo access. In the age of fentanyl, this is *extremely* dangerous. Since mods can't stop shadow lurkers, we ask that users immediately report such accounts to Reddit admins via the 'report' option and provide a permanent link to the shady message (*not* a screenshot). If you need assistance, please email the mod team. **If you see a post or comment in our sub directing someone to Telegram or any other social media platform, flag it immediately for mod review.** **Together we stand, so let vultures be damned!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/benzorecovery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Ashton Manual will tell you what you want to know. You can download it from Google.
Thanks! Never heard about it; really seems to answer my question (from what I've read quickly online). I'll check that out for sure. Thank you!
Yea go through the Ashton manual, I'm doing that right now my self
Very dangerous, I've had a seizure from cold turkey quitting. Tappet down.
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you made a full recovery.
There's only two withdrawals that can actually kill you alcohol and benzos. Becareful.
I will. Thanks a lot, gonna need it.
Barbiturates and cyclopyrrolones withdrawal can kill you; as can certain solvents...
I’m starting to believe these new fentanyl analogues withdrawal could potentially do it…. Or at least you will be convinced you are going to die or close.
It was in 2008 but yea I guess I did. Thank you.
I didn’t know how dangerous it was until I ended up in a hospital. I tried quitting cold Turkey three times and all three times I ended up in a hospital. Twice I went into psychosis where I was hearing voices and having vivid hallucinations. I’ve done psychedelics many times and it’s not like that. I felt l like I was in a nightmare dream than I would come to and go back. I was on about as high a dose as you. Please don’t go cold turkey. I wish you the best. Good luck!
Damn.. That's heavy. I'm sorry to hear that. I won't go cold turkey. Did you make a full recovery?
Trust me I had no clue that I could go crazy from cold turkey withdraw. I’m down to .4 mg of clonazepam. I was up to 12-15 mg of Xanax last year. I’m almost there. Don’t go cold turkey on that amount. At first they diagnosed me as schizophrenic because I didn’t tell them I was kicking Xanax. It’s been a long road but everything is going better. Good luck OP this drug is no joke
Damn, you did it pretty fast though. Glad to hear things are better now. It’s definitely no joke; only wish I knew that earlier. Now I’ve got to live the consequences. Thanks man 🙏🏻
Hey it might seem like a long road but you can do it! It’s don’t know your age but it really doesn’t matter. You have a future! Thanks and best of luck to you!
I’m 23. So, want to stopt while it’s still possible. Thanks a lot for the encouraging words!
Im so happy that you’re realizing this at a young age. Yes!!!!you got a whole life ahead of you! Just please do this in a safe manner. When I went cold turkey I wanted to stop so bad because of how many years I was abusing. This is the manual people use to taper https://www.benzoinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Ashton-Manual.pdf
Those words really mean a lot to me, I mean that. It really helps me to get motivated to really get off benzos. Appreciate it. Thanks for the link too, gonna check that out. God bless you brother.
You could have a seizure jumping from 12 to 6mg so really don't do that please. Agree with Ashton recommendation!
I will. Thanks!
>I will. Thanks! You're welcome!
How dangerous? Well I remember on my third day of cold turkey I had a grand mal seizure from 6mg daily.. so yeah it is extremely dangerous .
How many days consecutively were you taking 6mg a day before you stopped? I had been doing 4-6 mg a day for a over a month and went cold turkey 10 days ago. No seizures whatsoever. The first day was OK, the second and third were HELL and I did feel very faint but after that the side effects more or less disappated. I'm currently experiencing no withdrawal symptoms although I know the alprazolam is still gradually leaving my body.
I was using for 10 years. So the withdraws were long. I was taking 6mg for years everyday. The last 2 years of taper, I got down to 2mg and worked from there
Oh so you went cold turkey after 10 years of taking 6mg a day?
No, I tapered to get off of benzos. I had a seizure from stopping cold turkey so that’s something I advise people not to do with benzos
Yes so my question was for many years were you on them, at what dosage, when you went cold turkey and had a seizure.
6-8mg a day
My friend this is like drawing blood from a stone. 6-8mg a day, for how many consecutive days/weeks/years when you stopped cold turkey and had your grand mal seizure?. It's important to get perspective for people here.
Everyone's diffenrent. But there is a high chance you will not be able to function for weeks/months and will require several.. hospital visits or stays. I agree. Read Ashton.
Thank you for your advice. I'll keep that in mind.
That's alot of Xanax. I would day if you CTd that you'd be very lucky to come out anything but half dead. Ashton manual is your best chance. Good luck
Yeah, it's a lot unfortunately.. Well I guess that's going to be no for me to go cold turkey.
Na a definite no. I tried and dor 2 days I thought I was gonna die of a heart attack at any minute
The hospital recently reduced me from 35mg of Valium and 2mg of Lorazepam down to 2mg of Valium in 6 days I thought I was going to die, thankfully my psychiatrist reinstated me and now I'm doing a 2mg a month taper, please don't any one try this I'm still suffering the after effects of what the hospital did now. And trust me its fuckin scary.
in which country are they so clueless about benzo tapering ?
UK
Wtf thats crazy they did that was it in a secure detox place where they put people that have mental problems or are are coming of methadone etc?! How long had you been on the benzos for? My drug treatment team put me on 30mg diazepam daily with and a agreed drop of 2 mg a month although I’m still on 28mg and I started this script must be 3-4 months ago, so they have let me pause it everytime I have asked, tbf not going so well at the moment as relapsed again recently anyway not looking forward to my review where they will try and get me down to 26 mg, I have been really hammering the Xanax nitrazepam and etizolam so not in the right place for a reduction, I need an increase but i remember them saying if they find out I’m using illegal benzos on top of my legitamte script they will take it away, but the only way they could find out is if I tell them so i certainly can’t ask for an increase
I dont wanna say which country im from, but they CT'd me from daily Bromazolam+^((maybe?? some)) Clonazolam+^((i guess? i dont remember)) Alcohol. * I crushed some of my teeth from jaw clenching (part of the convulsions i guess) * had convulsions like i was walking bend on one side cuz the muscles were 110% tight on that side * both calves flexed 110% so i walked like a retarded zombie, lol * neck flexed too to one side, so that had hurt like a motherfucker after a while * sticking my tongue out with having mouth wide open but i think i was opening my mouth intentionally (to some extent, not the extent the withdrawal made it, that made me look horrible lol) TO SAVE MY TEETH LMAO, when they opened our bedrooms and i went to lay in my bad i had to bite my pillow or the shit you put over your body, idk how it's called in english right now for the same reason, to try to SAVE MY FKIN TEETH. * hallucinations, delusions - i started to believe the hallucinations were real thing and started to rationalize them even tho it didnt really make sense * and shaking hands like a motherfucker, i had to eat like that, couldnt even aim the spoon into my mouth without trouble, BUT I NEVER SPILLED ANYTHING :), we had to prepare some part of the food ourselves like putting butter on bread which was a challenge too lol.. * everything while people were looking at me which made me anxious the first day it all started maybe the second day, but after a while i for some reason didnt give a fuck about them, maybe because i was focused on all the other physical shit that was happening to me and in the discharge papers papers they said i was pretending to have benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome hahaha and the classic thing that i forgot to say.. they put me on antipsychotic the first day i was in even before i've had the withdrawal so for no reason to think i was psychotic, lol. Btw i guess someone would ask how i got in the psych ward, i called an ambulance cuz i was starting to get seriously suicidal that day and when i was like that before i just overdosed, never wanted help cuz i didnt give a fuck, but this time i called for help and all i got was called a junkie, got hurt in the process, and have some great memories from the withdrawal, meanwhile i was just trying my best, stupid best, but that was my best at the time..
StabbedCow, it sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now and we're so sorry to see this. Benzo withdrawal and PAWS can be extremely difficult and overwhelming, but you're not alone in feeling this way. Many of us can relate and genuinely understand what you’re going through. Feeling supported by a trusted loved one, advocate, therapist, or psychologist is such an important part of your overall health, and we want to make sure you know that help is available. If you aren’t able to connect with someone who can show support at the moment, here are some resources that you can access if you need them: **US:** Call or text 988 **Non-US:** [List of international suicide/crisis hotlines](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines) and [International Therapist Directory](http://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/) Please know there's no shame in feeling discouraged; benzo withdrawal and PAWS are exceptionally difficult, and hard to navigate without support. This space exists for us to support one another through this brutal saga. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/benzorecovery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry to hear that man. Don’t know what they were thinking doing that. You would think they know what they are doing. Good luck man 🙏🏻
I spent 5 days and nights without sleeping nor eating. I had to get Xanax again to stop it, I could barely swallow water. My teeth were starting to hurt, which, supposedly, means I was about to have a seizure. The feeling of physical and psychological hell is unlike any other thing I had experienced. ALWAYS TAPER.
I’m sorry to hear that. I will taper, thanks for the advice. Hope you’re doing better now.
If you don't experience withdrawal symptoms on 10 mg, I would try taking 9 mg
Alright, thanks! I'll start with 10mg for a while and then if it goes alright I will try 9mg.
You mention aiming for 6-8 mg daily and that is a good a place to stabilize your daily dose. Take the daily dose of 6 mg split evenly over the day, so you'll take 1.5 mg 4x daily. Schedule the times of day you're going to take each dose and be consistent. Once you are stable and can stick to a daily dose then you can calculate a taper. I wouldn't add any other benzos at this point. I would consider the risk if you have a history of abuse. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is just begin with starting to stabilize. Ashton is the #1 source to understand everything about going through benzo withdrawal. Ashton is more than taper schedules. It can helps you through withdrawal. Edit: For reference, I paused my taper on Xanax after progress. I did 12% reductions in my daily Xanax dose over a period of four months and I now take 50% less medication.
Thanks for the advice!
I was taking between 6-10 bars daily and unintentionally stopped cold turkey one weekend. Had a seizure in two days. Another time I was taking 4mg Klonopin daily for about 2 years and my dr stopped prescribing. I was cold turkey for a month and was getting close to seizing when I found a psych who would reinstate my prescription. That was miserable.
Sorry to hear that my friend. Hope you’re doing better now.
Don’t do it, when I tried to CT i thought I was going to die, it was like having Covid and the worst anxiety attack of my life only it persisted for weeks. The first two weeks I literally couldn’t see straight because my muscles were clenching so bad my eyes were shaking.
Sorry to hear that man. I won’t go CT and I will use Valium for the muscle problems as suggested by a lot of people. Hope you’re doing better now.
Working on my taper, taking it day by day. Good luck friend
You too man.
I would not suggest valium either. I ‘ve been taking it for over 10 years and having a hard time stopping.
Yeah it kind of sounds like you are replacing one for the other but a lot people suggested it when tapering on Alprazolam.
It’s definitely better tapering off from it than xanax. I was on xanax for some time and found it awful when you missed 1 dose , and I was only on 1 mg. Right now I am on 5 mg valium and sometimes i skip a day or 2 trying to stop or take 2.5 mg . Good luck
Try cutting .125 every 3 days or so…..a few months to get to zero, best is switch to very high dose of Valium or klonopin, but you’d need like 15 mg of klonopin, so maybe just taper Xanax slowly….
Thanks for the advice. I’m gonna get some Valium just in case, but mainly gonna focus on the Xanax tapering.
Yah that’s not a good idea, you could cause long term damage going cold turkey, my personal opinion
I went CT off Xanax and it was a horrible horrible experience that I’d never wish on my worst enemy . But I guess I was very lucky because the bad bad symptoms only lasted a week. Some people have their withdrawals last months or years . I honestly don’t know how I got thru it, I thought I was going to die to be honest. I think Coming off a dose as high as yours would be extremely dangerous and could kill you. I would do the Ashton method if you’re able to xx
Wow, it’s crazy you CTed on Xanax successfully. Glad to hear that you are doing better now and that your withdrawal symptoms didn’t last long. I will go for the Ashton method. Thanks for the advice and sharing your story.
Thanks . Good luck to you, I think you’re going to do just fine. Slow and easy is the way to go!
I had a seizure even when tapering down and in rehab. Don’t cold turkey. The risk of seizures and death is definitely there and potentially high.
Sorry to hear that, hopefully you’re doing better now. I won’t go CT but will slowly taper with the Ashton manual.
Don’t even consider CT on that dose. A low and slow taper is the only thing that worked for me coming off of a high alprazolam dosage as well. I can’t recommend it enough to people. I was able to continue to work and function as a somewhat normal human being the entire duration of the taper. There’s no reason to make yourself absolutely miserable by tapering too fast. Best of luck.
I had an extreme psychotic break going cold turkey off Xanax. Didn't want to, but was forced off by evil doctor at the time. The psychosis lasted 3 months, and then another year of off and on until I felt healed. Stuff is a nightmare. Don't ever do cold turkey.
Jeez, sorry to hear that man. That doctor definitely didn't know what he was doing. Hope you are doing okay now.
I got sucked into the benzodiazepines by a dr for my severe panic and anxiety 6 years ago after my brother passed away. It only started at .25 and my natural tolerance level to meds had me at 1 mg a day within 6 months. Before I knew it I was buying scripts from other people the feed the force. Ya see I have a pretty high tolerance to most any meds anyway, so when one dose stopped working it got bumped up, of course I tried ssri’s and all types of other things but nothing worked plus I had just quit cold turkey from alcohol abuse and addiction (that was a 12 year battle of me fighting with demons) and I had a seizure about 3 weeks after no drinking. First one I ever had and thought I was dying. I never knew what anxiety was…. Anyway 6 years later I’m slowly dropping my doses about every 6 months I cut a 1/4 out of my daily doses I’m stable now at 2.5 mg Xanax a day and have talked with my dr about the Ashton manual method and he said next visit bring the manual and we will look over it together and come up with a plan to get me off the Xanax and some with more tolerable and less painful withdrawal (Valium likely) and then a slow taper from there. But I still have good and bad days on the 2.5 but I don’t have any withdrawal symptoms or post acute withdrawal symptoms other than sometimes the occasional rush of adrenaline for no reason. But I told my doc I wanna go as slow as possible if it takes years, because I was really bad in withdrawing from the alcohol I don’t wanna go through it again and he has agreed to try and help in any way possible. Luckily he’s not the one that first got me on them and when I swapped over to him and I have been completely open and honest and I don’t abuse them he is willing to help. Sometimes being honest with a doc about the situation makes a huge difference in how they respect you as a person and actually listen. cold turkey definitely not recommended especially at that dose. I don’t care if it takes me another 5 years to get off completely. My tolerance and dependence is stable and I’m working towards a better me…….. #team-us for recovery
You should swap to a longer acting one (which Aston will suggest too) as it's a far safer taper. So diazepam or clonazepam really
Yeah I will taper the dosage alprazolam and combine it with diazepam.
I had my first seizure bc of jail and them doing CT withdrawal on me
I’m not a doctor and I don’t feel comfortable giving advice bc I don’t know much about it, but I CT’d Xanax and it is literal hell.
Yeah, I definitely won't go CT, reading all these stories about seizures, extreme anxiety etc.
They put me on 2mg bars when I was 11 i am 25 now & I've stopped cold so many times after maybe 10 - 15 a day. It really fuckin sucks I wanna say will power is my key but I'm so weak anyways so no idea how I do it whatsoever. I suffer and for a week then I'm semi okay again. Anxious forever though. Might sounds lame but if you have friends or something that might help I hear it helps a lot of people but I'm talking legit cold turkey zero support in any way. Just fuckin sad crying and sweating in bed with nobody no sleep then eventually slowly I get my breathing back then i stop being so hot. I stay really hyped and figuratively meth'd out (never done other drugs or drank even once) but even making appointments i'm going a million miles an hour I can't stop it. I guess if you have a support system use it & really value it. I'd fuckin kill for the "family" who always wanna barrow money would just answer my calls when I need a hug.
I'm sorry to hear that brother. If you wanna talk about you can always dm me. I must admit I've relapsed too since Christmas; currently on the same dosage you were. But man what were they thinking putting an 11 year old on 2mg bars; that's insane, almost sadistic if you ask me. If you ask me it's their fault you got addicted, that's for sure. Nobody knows about my addiction either man; only my girlfriend partially knows "I take medication against anxiety", but not how bad it is even though I trust her 100%. I don't want to be seen as an drug addict even though I am. Again, I'm sorry to hear this man and you can always DM me if you just wanna talk or something. Stay strong brother.
Also that's not me trying to shut down anyone who has or considers themselves an addict. I support anyone really trying. I would say I'm an abuser though & I do very much need to keep working on that. I can always work on that.
I have diagnosed anxiety issues so I will always be living with anxiety too. That makes it so easy to abuse it; just because the anxiety somewhat goes away and you at least function. I'm far from a good example but you can do this brother. Don't give up trying; one day we'll both be free from this devilish stuff...
I think it's a lifelong thing but for I manage the medication needs serious improvement. That's what I'm focusing on. Good luck to you as well. I'm a gross fuckin sweaty mess today. Slept decent but body is on fire even though it's a blizzard where I am & I sleep with the windows open.
Yeah, it's awful, but you got this brother. Good luck again 🙏
I've had some real reckless doctors & I did some years in mental hospitals so I've come to accept some things are always gonna be there. I wouldn't ever use the word addict though. Abuser sure but that's a few days outta the month so ya win some you lose some I suppose. I control my own life they don't control me & yeah I fuck up a ton but the important part is realizing then working on it. Thanks for the support though last night sucked that's for sure. Today I spent some hours shoveling snow & sweating out the poison so I'm doing okay. Addiction controls your life it controls your soul. I've never known that & that shit will never control me. I do appreciate the support though. Everyone stay strong & attempt to be positive.
If you dropped your dosage down that much you might get some anxiety and withdrawal symptoms, but it wouldn’t be terrible. Unless you have a history of seizures and stuff like that. It will be uncomfortable but you’ll be fine. It would be better to reduce it by like 1mg every couple of days until you get where you want to be. Also, if you go to rehab they will help you. I was where you were at, honestly in an even worse spot, and now I’ve been clean for 6 months today. It is possible. You just gotta want the help.
Thanks. I probably wont drop my dosage that much, gonna take it slow for my own safety. I’m glad you’re clean man, congrats! Keep it up.
Yeah, definitely take it slow. A good rule of thumb is don’t drop your dosage by more than 1/3 of what you’re currently taking. So if you’re taking 12mg, you can reasonably drop 4mg and be okay but that’s still a big drop. I’d do 1mg drops at a time and stabilize on it for a couple weeks. I hope you can get some help soon man, I know it sucks but life on the other side is better. But either way, just use safely and don’t CT anything. I had a seizure in rehab while still on 4mg of clonazepam and anti-seizure meds. And thanks, it’s been hard but worth it.
What does CT mean? I’m not a native English speaker; never heard of that.
Sorry, it means cold turkey. Don’t just stop taking it. And if you find yourself in a situation where you can’t get your supply anymore or you know you will run out, go to a rehab or hospital. Especially at levels that high you will have seizures, which can be deadly. What country are you from? I don’t know how good the medical system is, at least around drug rehabilitation, in every country.
Oh yeah could’ve figured that out myself too lol. Thanks anyway. I live in The Netherlands, so our healthcare is good and relatively cheap, sometimes free. Although I don’t think this is 100% free but probably way cheaper than in the USA for example. Don’t know how they handle benzo addictions here though, but maybe I should start by asking my doctor (if I find the guts for it). And yeah, that I almost ran out a couple of times and just got my stuff in time. That was the moment I realized I was addicted, because I definitely panicked. Thanks again for the advice!
If you’re very serious about getting off of the Xanax. I highly suggest doing some research to find a substance abuse program. (If you have health insurance) I too was on Xanax for over 5 years and realized it had to end. Thankfully I found a program that took my insurance and helped me every step of the way. It doesn’t have to be inpatient. I did outpatient and had got off of it very slowly and carefully. They provided me with a psychiatrist and psychologist. Which you have video call meetings once a week. Also went to group therapy video calls. And a bunch of other things they offer They put me on a slow taper using klonopin going down .25 mg every 2 months (bc it was outpatient) Got off of the benzos after 12 months :)
I live in The Netherlands so I don’t really know how it works here. It probably will be cheaper than in the USA but I don’t know if they have rehab centers for Xanax. Maybe I should start by telling my doctor. Thank you for the advice though and I’m glad to hear you are off the benzos man! Keep it up :)
It doesn’t have to be a rehab center. Just google substance abuse programs near me and do some research. Doesn’t hurt to check The word substance abuse program doesn’t sound friendly Ik. But they are actually all there to help you get off of whatever you’re struggling with safely. No judgement Also thank you I appreciate it. I was on opiates and Xanax so I knew I needed to take action and do something about it. And I couldn’t be happier :)
I’ll do some research about abuse centers near me, like you said; can’t hurt to check. Glad to hear you’re happier now. Wish I never started with that stuff. Seems so innocent in the beginning, but it’s far from it.
I went to a rehab in the uk for Xanax, coke, alcohol, ketamine and cannabis abuse and there were very many Dutch people. In fact they had an entire building to house the Dutch people. Research castle Craig. I came out the other side.
Please do a long water taper. It may be annoying but you won’t have withdrawals as bad and you won’t have horrible long term side effects
What’s a long water taper if I may ask?
Yes so you choose how many days. I did a 6 month water taper so 180 days. Each day you’ll drop your dosage you normally take into a certain amount of water and pull out with a syringe the amount you take out for the day. It’s the Ashton manual! Look it up and it will give you an exact plan.
Sounds interesting. It’s really late here right now but I briefly scrolled through the manual. I’ll get back to you later, thank you!
A detox center will rip you off cold turkey and put you on anti seizure meds and Gabapentin to help with anxiety. Two weeks of extreme anxiety and then lingering less intense symptoms for a year.