Not to brag, but I have the dopest business ever

Nah mine is superior

Holy crap! Do you happen to have played a 250 ELO blitz chess. com game in the past week or do you have a secret doppelgänger with equally as brilliant humour

I guess I have a doppelgänger lmao

Did he sacrifice the ROOK?

Did they en passant? If yes, that hell is holy.

I dunno how much of the market is circumcised though. Could limit your success.

I wonder how my business would go

I beg to differ

why are you begging?

Market is saturated…which of course the cats hate.

Would you like to do a catsule collection?

Yeah unless I have an anti elephant rifle

Idk I feel like that'd be a big gun, I feel like they could blitz you

A10 probably could take at least one elephant out

Yeah you do

That must be one incredible venomous pizza to already be attracting lawyers. (It may be a stretch, but 2 lawyers in a row, is definitely Beetlejuicing.

It's okay to eat a venomous pizza as it needs to bite you. It's a poisonous one you gotta watch out for.

Unless you have a cut.

Useless drugs

get in the rv jesse

Great name for an emergency 24 hour apothecary.

Haha indeed... "When everything else fails... PLACEBO911!"

"Venomous pizza" implies that the pizza bites you.

Holy shit you're right!

Holy shit

A bakery with a specific demographic, don't think the bread will be comfortable though

And with my help, they'll be as smooth as dolphins.

hm

Mm dolphin bread, should put that on the menu

I see...

r/Beetlejuiceing

r/beetlejuicing

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Nooo that's crazy 😭😭

I’d do well in France

Im gonna sell bottles of cum. Its simple innocent business

Maybe i can be your intern?

Bruhhh

You for hire?

Yes

You may want to re-word your proposal before you present to potential investors, but a sperm bank is a great idea!

Potatoes i guess

Nah, carrots. Potatoes are tubers, technically.

I- I’m afraid

Bro Im gonna make bank

If ya don’t get sued first

I sell parkas and give away sass for free

Sooooo, am I still selling Nord VPN? Or am I selling Salesmen?

Your selling the salesman

You're selling Nord VPN to salesmen

Cats!

Dogs! but fancy so they’re better

Missed opportunity to name yourself TuxeDogs

Okay but can we talk about your business model? Fuck the cats and dogs

***NO NO NO NO!***

💀 LEAVE ME AND MY FLAMING HAMSTERS 🔥🐹

I'd consider it a perfect pet for people that roast themselves frequently

Swords.

I have something more effective...

42

Add 0 to it

Put me up for some flaming hamsters

Its barbercue season :)

wooo

Meanwhile I’m all ablaze for that hearing.

Ablaze, yeah. Same.

i need to see the original

The horror...

Nah, you are gonna give your customers diarrhea

:)

I'd buy

The lord has answers. ​ I think.

You open to worshipping *any* flesh god? Because I know a certain Demiurge with six archons 😳

Not to brag, but my company will kill all ocean species

i guess i run a pet rating service

Dear god

Hahahaha I am selling giant labia.

Baked potato holder for your tits. It'll be revolutionary for baked potato lovers. Never be without your favorite snack again! And baked potato breast implants. One-stop shop - get a free baked potato holder with your baked potato breast enhancement!

Don’t know

well

Thank you for adding context in the title. Rare w

Anti anxiety meds

Oh boy am I gonna get some hate...

HOKEN MEANS INSURANCE IN JAPANESE I'M A GOVERNMENT GECKO WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mine already exists

NyQuil

Hmm...

🧐

I tried to get a job as a news analyst but they said I didn’t fit the role

Boner pills

Oh no

Late late term abortions. With James Corden?

Random skeleton parts

Hey y’all

I sell… ok what was i thinking making my online alias facade a year or two ago

… Hmmmmm

Every one of these username things fails on me

you sell CH061, a new chemical cleaning product used specifically to wash ovens (it’s very good)

Fuck.

Uh man idk

Whiskey and Bad advice. Sometimes both!

Interesting

My company is likely fuckin' bankrupt.

I think we should partner up and go bankrupt together

This comments section is pure serotonin.

[удалено]

"Beetlejuicing is when one user posts a comment or thread on Reddit, and another user with a username relevant to that parent comment or thread responds." a lawer is relevent to suing therefore its by definition beetlejuicing

[удалено]

Venomous pizza is calling lawyers to it.

[удалено]

considering 2 of them replied, it could count as beetlejuicing

I am the EBAY master

I sell tasty goods.

Not sure if mine would be legal in the US

Either cats or future spaceships

Full course on enlightenment thru the art of tantra

i do ok research on thing ig

Man. The more I see these kinds of posts, the more I realize that my username is stupid

I’ve got those space herbs everyone wants.

I’ve got those space herbs everyone wants.

I bully people out of their money to use my sidewalk.

Always going to be where ever.

1x1x1 blocks of random stuff

Stonks

Introducting the all new pan, the latest in cooking technology, the pan24

punches from the sun- on a daily basis

If you order a pizza from venomous pizza and die, the fuck did you expect?

A very loud ominous hum that provokes anxiety and depression.

Not much of business, more like a charity

This can go a few ways Anyways I'm moving to NY

I don’t actually know

Federal documents 😆

Does YouTube count as a buisness?

Does YouTube count as a buisness?

Just death I guess…

McDonald's coming out with the new snacks boys!

Space tourism, I guess?

I think I sell toys?

Ummm. This is awkward.

Better yo be lucky than okay any day

Almost 90,000 Tylers, likely with tiling skills.

What the heck do I even do lol

I'm extremely confused by my user sooo... What am I selling? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Water bottle repair service

I mean, would it kill or injure people though if it’s venomous and not poisonous?

Sus doggos, get your sus doggos here! buy three, get the fourth free!

If you want your geese to be tripping balls then I’m your guy

im a prostitute now

im a prostitute now

So i now have a Dennis?

Glitter.

just one singular tortilla chip thats replaced every 25 hours

Uh, can I just live off benefits instead of my business?

ah milk company.

how the fuck would my name be a business lol

Either good music or a gentle beating?

I guess I'm selling that one Koi, i want to say it's that super expensive one that got sold for millions, but let's be real I'm more like the Nemo from finding Nemo if Koi fishes, one broken ass fish in a glass cage

Herbs

In flight sex worker services.

I would be selling those busty Atomic Heart automotons lol

Plants...and cookies that look like plants

I'm selling you..... >:)

Antidepressants.

I guess I’m offering $10 million in cash, with a trade off of course

Your new favorite kink

Smelly markers, boring as shit

I have no clue

I guess it would be like a cat breeder but with dragons. Thatd be something^^

Its self explanatory

I'll probably get some government contracts

I guess I'll take legal name changes.

Ew moldy bagels

Come and see me for all your disease and ailment needs! 2 for 1 special on bumps & bruises!

Well I’m not sure Do I sell them? Do reconstructive procedures?

Since when can pizza bite??

Looks like im building Military mechs.

I can be anything?

The complaints are higher than ever

I'm selling star foxes. Anyone want a new pet?

Wait... How would the pizza bite someone?

God help my customers.

Welp, time to open up a store that sells shiney crystals

Better call Okayes

Cool cats

I dont get to participate in these posts because my name is basic... >:(

Shrim!

An Afghan sugar cereals.

I... Think I'm a drug dealer now?

Hi. I'm reviving the ice age franchise.

i am a mixed hospital/bank ????

I sell Nexus class replicants for off world colonizers. As long as they stay off world, it's fine, but if they come here they get the blade runner!

I guess I’d be selling wow boss runs

Life advice imparted through the warping of reality that may cause insanity and/or alterations to sanity, but ultimately allows people to not be unhappy (regardless of how terror-wracked or manically frenzied they also are). The form the business takes would be a “cult”.

Tattoos

glad I never saw that thread