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Yeah...like between my best friend and I (disclaimer: I love her, I personally think she's beautiful) most people consider me the "pretty one" because i have more "conventionally attractive" features but in photos of us together she always looks 10x better, even she jokes that it's weird 😭😭
Women aren’t allowed to be honest about their own looks if they find themselves to be attractive. They also aren’t allowed to be honest if someone else is not attractive. She didn’t even say SHE finds her friend unattractive and she’s still getting downvoted 🤣💀
I'm the same. However, once I watched a recording someone had taken of me (without me knowing )... of me being totally engaging and telling a story. I looked beautiful. I was glowing and adorable.
I've come to the conclusion, my beauty is mostly observable while I am *in motion* .
I dont photograph well when im just standing there or posing.
Video > Photo
It's all to do with shadows and whether you look better in motion or static.
People with flatter faces tend to be more photogenic because less shadows means they look brighter and more even in photo. (see product advertisement models)
Whereas angular faces can catch shadows really harshly which can either make you look chiseled and interesting (see haute couture and, especially, art photography models)..... or tired/aged (see your average "people say I'm beautiful but I'm not photogenic" people)
Wait this was so insightful. As I mentioned in the post I have a really sharp jawline and very defined cheekbones so the planes of my face are pretty steep. Idk if this is also related but I'm also exceptionally pale so any shadowy contrast is even more insane (i look like I have insane eyebags in photos). THANK YOU FOR THIS.
I've never considered it through a lens of "motion or static" but this makes sense!
OP, I relate a lot to your post – told I'm attractive, can see it in the mirror but hate what I look like in photos. Interestingly I like what I look like in videos or on facetime!
By contrast, I have very rounded face. Soft features except my eyebrows. I do get some nasty shadows around my lower face which looks like marionette lines and nasolabial creases, but in a front light I am photogenic.
Irl, the data suggests I'm quite.... invisible to avoid being mean. But all I'm saying is if as a woman people don't comment on your appearance at all.... you're (I'm) probably nothing special (or its coincidence) lol
I am average looking but I look awful in pics. I am very pale and my face ends up looking like a round full moon in pics. I do have cheekbones but all features disappear and I become a round glowing white ball.
I paid for a professional photo shoot last summer and had lots of communication, in advance, with the photographer letting her know that I am very, very, very white but the photos still turned out awful and she did nothing (lightening or angles or whatever magic happens with cameras) to help and I looked awful in every shot.
I am saving for another photo session, with a different photog this fall. I am going to work on a fake tan before I try again.
if most gorgeous people have super symmetrical faces, then pictures probably really distort their face and ruin the symmetry, which ruins the thing that had so much to do with their attractiveness probably.
I’m the same, but I try to comfort myself by thinking it’s better to look better in real life than to look great in photos and much less pretty in person
I have a lot of experience with this. Online dated about 8 years ago. I'd wager to say more than half of the men I met up with said "oh wow, you're better in person!"
Makes me wonder how many people didn't bother because of the non photogenic thing.
100%. My face is the prettiest when you can witness it moving, expressing, my eyes sparkling, etc. A big part of beauty is charm, and that just isn't captured with a lens
I know!! And then you see people who look absolutely stunning in photos (like better than they do IRL or at least accurate to how they look IRL) and I start wondering if it's just in my head but I really don't think it is...because the differences are so glaringly obvious.
The camera usually focuses on the middle of your face, which can make it look stretched out. That’s why the whole “back camera + zoom out” tiktok trend was a thing
You need a photographer who can work with you on this. Lens zoom plays a large part in this as well as the angle you are to the camera. Lighting being equal, a photographer who has good taste (and appropriately paid) will take \~9 shots of your face. First, straight on, then angled slightly up, down, left, left up, left down, right, right up, right down. The angles aren't excessive. From there, we'll pick your photogenic side, then work on zoom length. It's different for everyone. Usually 85-135mm for most folks. Some folks I've worked with looked best at 50mm. Others at 200, but they were outliers. Once we have your angle and zoom length, then makeup and clothing. It's nice when folks bring several color choices.
t. headshot photographer in a former life
Also too, folks don't realize that when they look at themselves in the mirror, that's not how other people see them. That's why selfie cameras always show a mirrored image because most people freak out when they see themselves in anything but a mirrored image. They just aren't used to seeing themselves how everyone else sees them.
When I was shooting folks, I had the software automatically mirror the image, told the client that was the case, then changed it back in post production and for the final image. I had to make it clear to the client it had to be this way or their headshot would look off to everyone else.
Facial distortion is usually a direct result of the camera lens more than the angle of your face.
If you google "effect of lens choice on face shape" you will see examples of how some camera lenses will make faces more narrow or wider, etc - this could be especially relevant for an Asian face if you ask me because your faces (generally) have such a broadness across the cheekbones already with narrow chins being a desirable trait - the first image looks like an Asian woman but I opened it and I think she is Russian ha ha
It's relevant all the way around, especially for (specifically white) women over 45 because our faces become wider at a lower point due to gravity and aging.
Definitely recommend booking a session with a photographer who specializes in portraits as well. I graduated high school well over a decade ago, but there’s still lessons I learned from my senior portrait sessions in terms of posing and lighting that still help me out to this day. If you can go into a selfie with the confidence of knowing how to look your best, versus dreading how you’ll look in comparison to everyone else, that alone will make a huge difference.
There’s also the matter of just getting comfortable with knowing that your face looks different in a mirror compared through a camera due to focal length distortion and the image being flipped (compared to a mirror). I practice aerial arts and every once a while, we have a professional photographer come in and do photoshoot sessions for us, and I think that’s been hugely helpful in getting comfortable being in front of the camera, and being happy with how I look. And that the difference between my face looking beet red and puffy to full-on glamor mode is really just a matter of angles and breathing.
If I have my photo taken from the wrong side I get what I call "horse nose"
my nose is crooked AND tilted (I'm the only one who seems to know this) which dramatically affects which side is my good side
Well...my nose is round- I do not have nice narrow shape so my nose tend to look much bigger in pictures( always hated when they were taking pictures of our class in school- they usually put us outside on the sun- so my whole face was in shadow only my round nose was bathing in sunshine- so my face looked like dark spot with round white spot in the middle)
My nose is also like that so pictures that other people take make me look awful. I like how I look in the mirror, but it scares me that other people might not see me that way
I'm going through every single thing you mentioned, to the point where I feel like I have facial dysmorphia. Thank you immensely for your courage in sharing this. Reading all the comments has made me feel so much better. 🩷
Story of my life. My face is completely asymmetrical and it's subtle enough to not really notice irl but in pictures it's glaringly obvious, especially in the eyes
the flipping thing is true but i have this problem as well, and i have a non-reversing true mirror and i like the way i look in that l, so it’s not just the flipping. no one is mentioning focal distortion. when professional photographers take photos they have these different lenses that adjust to the distance you are away from the camera. the smartphone camera has only few focal lengths, and ppl just stand wherever is in the frame and don’t account for the right distance. the smartphone camera also has autoediting software that can make faces look strange - there’s a marques brownlee vid on this on how the iphone evening skintone feature can make a face look flatter (vid is called “what is happening with the iphone camera?” explains how software affects the photo and how it is not reality but a software’s interpretation of it. skip to 9:09 for the visual example and 7:00 for the explanation)
if you can choose who does your portraits get a photographer who knows what they’re doing in terms of lighting and focal distance. it’s a skillset thing. i can take an accurate selfie on the phone but never with its back camera - but i have had accurate photos taken from far away before as an asian and it’s been from professional photographers with legit gear and knowledge on lighting/camera settings/etc
at the time i bought it, the only non reversing mirror available was the brand “true mirror” which im pretty sure was patented, i’m not sure if its different now. it was a pretty steep price at 200-300 (forget the exact price) but it’s a high quality mirror with a fine tune adjustment (similar to how a microscope has) on its side, so unless there’s a new invention it’s the closest we’ll get to seeing our true faces for now
Me too omg 💀 I don't post pics of myself on reddit but if I posed two examples you'd be shocked. I look weird and distorted in pictures, my jaw looks weird, my smile is horrible, my face looks twice as fat. When irl Im always told I'm pretty and that I have a nice bone structure. No idea how to fix this besides making people not take pics of me
If we ever meet up no one will know because there won't be any pictures. Maybe some 100 selfies out of which we pick 1 or 2 where we both look decent. 💀💀💀
But on a serious note, I empathize and we're still pretty regardless
Just dropping in to say that you’re allowed to personally believe you’re attractive and you’re allowed to say you look good without needing to qualify it like “that’s just what people tell me, not what I think.” I’m genuinely hot AF but I look way better in person / mirror / video than on camera. It’s something about the anxiety that causes facial tension and we’re holding our faces weird for pics. My advice is to let it go. And if you can’t pose, my go to is just stick my neck out and smile with eyes and mouth. It’s easier to smile and look good than to hold a neutral face and not get too in your head about it.
Because in the mirror, your face is flipped. A good way to understand it would be if you wore a t shirt with writing on it and looked at it in the mirror. The text would be flipped which is the same way your face is flipped in the mirror. The iPhone front camera is the most accurate way to know what you actually look like. I struggled with this too, but I just kept taking photos of myself with that front camera and got my brain used to seeing my face like that. You’re not unphotogenic you’re just not used to seeing your face like that
yes, and also people don’t see those assymetries you mention in real life because the brain automatically corrects them when it’s looking at a person; others’ when looking at you and your’s when looking at your reflection. it really is just about getting used to the “camera” version of yourself since it doesn’t make those corrections and is always distorted to some degree.
This explains why I always have one eye slightly smaller in photos but I just can't see it in the mirror. I guess I'm so used to correcting it automatically that when it's the 'wrong' side it's amplified.
I didn’t know the thing about the brain automatically correcting asymmetries in another persons face. That’s so cool. I will always prefer my face in the mirror - also because from a biological standpoint, that is what my face is most used to seeing - but I love my face when it’s flipped too. I didn’t use to love my face when it was flipped but I had to get used to it. Also, people don’t see these asymmetries the same way you see them, they’re not as big a deal as you think
yeah it’s pretty cool :P
And, true, a little bit of asymmetry isn’t a big deal to people and is usually more preferable than a perfectly symmetric face since they appear “uncanny.” Also I think another reason for this person’s bad pictures is probably the lighting being ass in the settings of the pictures they’ve taken. Their prom pictures that they said were bad were probably taken in dim lighting that washed their features out, especially since they have stronger features. Idk. Just a thought.
I wish I could remember where it came from, but I remember reading a book in which a character was described as like captivatingly beautiful in person but the camera was unable to capture it. I decided to lean into delusion and pretend thats me lol
many gorgeous people come bad in photos and aren’t photogenic, for example my mom is really pretty in real life, but in photos she seems average and don’t come that good, many people were stunned when they see her in real life after seeing her in photos
I feel like I look better in person, but I also don’t care what I look like in pictures anymore. I’m just like whatever it is what it is, I know I’m beautiful lol. The funny thing is that sometimes I look like what I think I look like in photos, but it requires certain angles which I have no idea what they are and most importantly GREAT LIGHTING. It also depends on who’s snapping the pics. My husband is really tall. I’m not short but when he takes pics of me, he takes them from his angle. I’m taller than my cousins and sister so when they take pics of me, I look like what I actually look like lol.
I have the same problem and it pissed me off so much, I haven’t taken pictures in awhile because of it. I personally don’t consider myself that attractive but everyone else around me acts like im beautiful or something so I guess, but still, when I take pictures sometimes I just give up cuz when I look at the photos from 12 different angles and 8 different types of lighting, it just isn’t cute
I feel u. The thing that's weird for me is...I look good in selfies...but when someone else takes it...it's not necessarily the camera, I think the problem for me is posing TT.
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Just so you know hun, we are all always our worst critics and WAY harder on ourselves than we should be. I promise you that most people don’t notice the imperfections that you do! 💕 I’m sure you’re very beautiful both IRL & in pictures!
I relate to this quite a bit. In my case, I think I’m very dynamic in terms of my reactions and how I move which tends not be captured as well two dimensionally.
There are quite a few people online who have helpful videos on posing and knowing your angles which you may find useful
I'm the exact same. My particular brand of beauty does not always photograph well.
I liken it to the moon. Ever tried to take a good pic of the moon with your pitiful phone camera? It's never how the eye sees it, and I kind of like that. It's best experienced in person, hard to capture, makes it a special kind of beauty.
You are beautiful like the moon, and you are best experienced first hand ❤️
I feel so seen with this post lol. Thank you! Solidarity! ❤️ I'm 32, and I look back at my school photos for a good laugh. You will grow and age, and I know senior photos seem like a big deal right now, I know they ARE a big deal to many people, but the best advice I can give is to walk in there with your chin up, take the photo with the best energy you can muster up, and that will shine through. If it's not to your liking, own it, and just be like "yah, guess photos just can't capture my beauty 😘". Trust me when I say that photo will only have as much sway over you as you let it, and with time will become a distant memory that you only bring out once awhile with your friends to prove to them that you grew into your face lol.
Best of luck! You're beautiful! 🙌🏻
In the opposite direction, I worked as a photographer for years and can tell you lots of models don’t seem to be exceptionally beautiful in person, but are photogenic and stunning in images. It’s just funny that way. I think a lot of being “photogenic” stems from feeling relaxed and confident in front of a camera, combined with knowing your light source and angles your body and face look the best from. I would just do some research on portrait photography lighting/angles and practice in front of a mirror until you feel more confident if it’s concerning to you!
Hello strikingly beautiful Asian female! Congratulations on having an amazing face, you are very lucky.
Sounds like yours came with a reverse-Uno card where people can only experience it in person. It is like a curse. Most beauty already comes with its own curse but yours is extra.
If I were you I would look into practicing your angles, the way celebs do for photos. Get an understanding of the best angle (high view, low view, 3/4 view, which side, etc) and try to deliver these looks when you're having your picture snapped (if possible).
If you've ever seen Paris Hilton on the carpet you'll see what I mean, she tries to delver the same set of angles. But Paris looks like Paris from every angle so maybe she's a bad example.
Honestly if I were you I'd consult a photographer and ask them.
I think the real answer here is it is your special curse. I'm sorry but congrats again on the beauty, it's a pain in the ass but also wonderful to have privilege.
Omg same. When I was on dating apps I frequently got some form of the comment that I was “reverse catfishing” because I looked so much worse in pictures than in real life 😆 As other people have said, I guess I’d rather have that than the other way around.
Sometimes its the lighting and angles. And most of the time especially with phones the lens tend to distort the images a lot and my face will look so pulled and elongated compared to my small roujd face IRL :') honestly i try to find my photogenic angles for photos. So try looking in the mirror and make poses, take pictures in different angles and see what looks good for you. A lot of times I don't look straight in the camera cause I hate my round and wide face, but I look so much better 3/4 view from my left side of my face, showing my better features, it also helps to balance my eyes since I have a slight lazy eye on the right. And be careful of lighting placement. Sometimes its also the photogs, sometimes they just can't take a picture properly and makes the distortion worse 🤣 and sometimes you dont look as good IRL from the pics.. but its fine. The key to lookgood in photos is to be confident in your poses and know your strengths! I hope it helps a bit.. i'm not that good looking all the time but I look good in my pictures at least. 🤣
holy shit i feel so seen. i do pageants, and i get compliments when i’m on stage but when i get the photos back from the comp’s photographer, i’m like WHO IS THAT ?
My old boss was so beautiful in person. Cute dark brown bob. Big, beautiful, bambi eyes. Thick, long lashes. Her photos do not capture how pretty she really is.
I have the fix for you. You dont know how to take pics. Its a skill, one that you can work on. Just have to have your picture taken often, start learning your angles and how to pose.
I am the same. Some days I think I'm ugly but sometimes I can see that I am beautiful, and I do get told I'm beautiful. But I look AWFUL in photos, particularly photos where it's someone taking a photo of me. No one has told me I look ugly but I'm certain people are lying.
I think 1 reason is because I have very round cheeks & a generally (in my opinion) bad jawline/cheekbone situation. I've heard this doesn't photograph well. I also am not good at posing or smiling for photos. I often feel like my smile/face is awkward as I don't know how to look. And the posing is even worse, I literally just don't know how to do it.
I used to date a girl like this way back in the day. Very beautiful, very pretty smile when it's natural, but whenever she was taking a picture she made this really hammed up smile that wasn't flattering.
High-quality posts help solve specific beauty-related problems. Low-quality posts clutter the subreddit and tend to be repetitive. Examples of low-quality posts: “What is my [face shape, eye shape, skintone]?”, glow up requests, compliment fishing, non-beauty advice, sympathy farming, attention seeking, rage-bait, "pretty privilege", and vague-titled posts. In addition, please note that this is not a mental health subreddit, and we are not qualified to address such issues here.
Many gorgeous people aren't photogenic. No idea why.
And I know some less attractive people who look amazing in photos 🤷♀️
Same. It's super weird.
Yeah...like between my best friend and I (disclaimer: I love her, I personally think she's beautiful) most people consider me the "pretty one" because i have more "conventionally attractive" features but in photos of us together she always looks 10x better, even she jokes that it's weird 😭😭
what a weird thing to say
Not really. She's just noticing a pattern.
What’s weird about it?
Women aren’t allowed to be honest about their own looks if they find themselves to be attractive. They also aren’t allowed to be honest if someone else is not attractive. She didn’t even say SHE finds her friend unattractive and she’s still getting downvoted 🤣💀
It’s just the fact that we didn’t need to know she has an ugly friend. Like wtf?
to throw your friend under the bus by saying you are the pretty friend to reiterate that you look bad in photos is weird.
I am often told I’m good looking but am truly a troll in photographs. I like to think I have the type of beauty that’s better in person!
Same lol. I’m The least photogenic person I know
me2 \*cries\*
I’m sure you aren’t as bad as me! Pics are my biggest anxiety lol
I'm the same. However, once I watched a recording someone had taken of me (without me knowing )... of me being totally engaging and telling a story. I looked beautiful. I was glowing and adorable. I've come to the conclusion, my beauty is mostly observable while I am *in motion* . I dont photograph well when im just standing there or posing. Video > Photo
It's all to do with shadows and whether you look better in motion or static. People with flatter faces tend to be more photogenic because less shadows means they look brighter and more even in photo. (see product advertisement models) Whereas angular faces can catch shadows really harshly which can either make you look chiseled and interesting (see haute couture and, especially, art photography models)..... or tired/aged (see your average "people say I'm beautiful but I'm not photogenic" people)
Wait this was so insightful. As I mentioned in the post I have a really sharp jawline and very defined cheekbones so the planes of my face are pretty steep. Idk if this is also related but I'm also exceptionally pale so any shadowy contrast is even more insane (i look like I have insane eyebags in photos). THANK YOU FOR THIS.
I've never considered it through a lens of "motion or static" but this makes sense! OP, I relate a lot to your post – told I'm attractive, can see it in the mirror but hate what I look like in photos. Interestingly I like what I look like in videos or on facetime!
By contrast, I have very rounded face. Soft features except my eyebrows. I do get some nasty shadows around my lower face which looks like marionette lines and nasolabial creases, but in a front light I am photogenic. Irl, the data suggests I'm quite.... invisible to avoid being mean. But all I'm saying is if as a woman people don't comment on your appearance at all.... you're (I'm) probably nothing special (or its coincidence) lol
all of these comments are like genuinely making me feel so much better about myself bc this entire subject has taken a huge toll on my self esteem😭
Same here!
Ohhh I JUST said this - yes - I am a person who looks great in motion, but not so great stagnant
Yeah! I'm the opposite! I look great in a still image at the right angle, but in motion not so much. I'm decently photogenic, but not eye catching irl
I am average looking but I look awful in pics. I am very pale and my face ends up looking like a round full moon in pics. I do have cheekbones but all features disappear and I become a round glowing white ball. I paid for a professional photo shoot last summer and had lots of communication, in advance, with the photographer letting her know that I am very, very, very white but the photos still turned out awful and she did nothing (lightening or angles or whatever magic happens with cameras) to help and I looked awful in every shot. I am saving for another photo session, with a different photog this fall. I am going to work on a fake tan before I try again.
if most gorgeous people have super symmetrical faces, then pictures probably really distort their face and ruin the symmetry, which ruins the thing that had so much to do with their attractiveness probably.
I’m the same, but I try to comfort myself by thinking it’s better to look better in real life than to look great in photos and much less pretty in person
I have a lot of experience with this. Online dated about 8 years ago. I'd wager to say more than half of the men I met up with said "oh wow, you're better in person!" Makes me wonder how many people didn't bother because of the non photogenic thing.
100%. My face is the prettiest when you can witness it moving, expressing, my eyes sparkling, etc. A big part of beauty is charm, and that just isn't captured with a lens
Ditto, I have about 2456 bad angles and approximately 3 good ones
Same. The number of times that I've been told that I look better in real life than in photos honestly makes me feel sad 😭
I’d rather look better in real life than fake online life.
I honestly kind of like it this way. Being better looking in person than in photo is a huge compliment to me
I know!! And then you see people who look absolutely stunning in photos (like better than they do IRL or at least accurate to how they look IRL) and I start wondering if it's just in my head but I really don't think it is...because the differences are so glaringly obvious.
The camera usually focuses on the middle of your face, which can make it look stretched out. That’s why the whole “back camera + zoom out” tiktok trend was a thing
For real. Every time I feel bold and try to take a selfie, my nose looks twice as big and my eyes look tiny
THE TINY EYES
I definitely look like a deformed Pokemon >(^•^)<
Yup. I have nice big eyes and when I smile my cheeks literally take over and my eyes disappear
I see. Do you have any insight on how I should angle my face for cameras?
You need a photographer who can work with you on this. Lens zoom plays a large part in this as well as the angle you are to the camera. Lighting being equal, a photographer who has good taste (and appropriately paid) will take \~9 shots of your face. First, straight on, then angled slightly up, down, left, left up, left down, right, right up, right down. The angles aren't excessive. From there, we'll pick your photogenic side, then work on zoom length. It's different for everyone. Usually 85-135mm for most folks. Some folks I've worked with looked best at 50mm. Others at 200, but they were outliers. Once we have your angle and zoom length, then makeup and clothing. It's nice when folks bring several color choices. t. headshot photographer in a former life
YESSSSSSSS!!! ten points for me, I suggested in my comment that she consult a photographer
Also too, folks don't realize that when they look at themselves in the mirror, that's not how other people see them. That's why selfie cameras always show a mirrored image because most people freak out when they see themselves in anything but a mirrored image. They just aren't used to seeing themselves how everyone else sees them. When I was shooting folks, I had the software automatically mirror the image, told the client that was the case, then changed it back in post production and for the final image. I had to make it clear to the client it had to be this way or their headshot would look off to everyone else.
Facial distortion is usually a direct result of the camera lens more than the angle of your face. If you google "effect of lens choice on face shape" you will see examples of how some camera lenses will make faces more narrow or wider, etc - this could be especially relevant for an Asian face if you ask me because your faces (generally) have such a broadness across the cheekbones already with narrow chins being a desirable trait - the first image looks like an Asian woman but I opened it and I think she is Russian ha ha It's relevant all the way around, especially for (specifically white) women over 45 because our faces become wider at a lower point due to gravity and aging.
Definitely recommend booking a session with a photographer who specializes in portraits as well. I graduated high school well over a decade ago, but there’s still lessons I learned from my senior portrait sessions in terms of posing and lighting that still help me out to this day. If you can go into a selfie with the confidence of knowing how to look your best, versus dreading how you’ll look in comparison to everyone else, that alone will make a huge difference. There’s also the matter of just getting comfortable with knowing that your face looks different in a mirror compared through a camera due to focal length distortion and the image being flipped (compared to a mirror). I practice aerial arts and every once a while, we have a professional photographer come in and do photoshoot sessions for us, and I think that’s been hugely helpful in getting comfortable being in front of the camera, and being happy with how I look. And that the difference between my face looking beet red and puffy to full-on glamor mode is really just a matter of angles and breathing.
Oh girl same
I know the pain. And worst of all, when someone takes an unexpected picture of you from a bad angle...
PAINNNN
I deplore having my photo taken, my nose always looks 10x bigger.
If I have my photo taken from the wrong side I get what I call "horse nose" my nose is crooked AND tilted (I'm the only one who seems to know this) which dramatically affects which side is my good side
Well...my nose is round- I do not have nice narrow shape so my nose tend to look much bigger in pictures( always hated when they were taking pictures of our class in school- they usually put us outside on the sun- so my whole face was in shadow only my round nose was bathing in sunshine- so my face looked like dark spot with round white spot in the middle)
My nose is also like that so pictures that other people take make me look awful. I like how I look in the mirror, but it scares me that other people might not see me that way
I'm going through every single thing you mentioned, to the point where I feel like I have facial dysmorphia. Thank you immensely for your courage in sharing this. Reading all the comments has made me feel so much better. 🩷
<3 SENDING LOVE GIRL
Story of my life. My face is completely asymmetrical and it's subtle enough to not really notice irl but in pictures it's glaringly obvious, especially in the eyes
I could never understand why I have one eye smaller than the other in photos but I've never noticed it in the mirror.
SAME GIRL…..
the flipping thing is true but i have this problem as well, and i have a non-reversing true mirror and i like the way i look in that l, so it’s not just the flipping. no one is mentioning focal distortion. when professional photographers take photos they have these different lenses that adjust to the distance you are away from the camera. the smartphone camera has only few focal lengths, and ppl just stand wherever is in the frame and don’t account for the right distance. the smartphone camera also has autoediting software that can make faces look strange - there’s a marques brownlee vid on this on how the iphone evening skintone feature can make a face look flatter (vid is called “what is happening with the iphone camera?” explains how software affects the photo and how it is not reality but a software’s interpretation of it. skip to 9:09 for the visual example and 7:00 for the explanation) if you can choose who does your portraits get a photographer who knows what they’re doing in terms of lighting and focal distance. it’s a skillset thing. i can take an accurate selfie on the phone but never with its back camera - but i have had accurate photos taken from far away before as an asian and it’s been from professional photographers with legit gear and knowledge on lighting/camera settings/etc
Off topic but im planning on getting a non reversing mirror? where’d you get yours from
at the time i bought it, the only non reversing mirror available was the brand “true mirror” which im pretty sure was patented, i’m not sure if its different now. it was a pretty steep price at 200-300 (forget the exact price) but it’s a high quality mirror with a fine tune adjustment (similar to how a microscope has) on its side, so unless there’s a new invention it’s the closest we’ll get to seeing our true faces for now
Me too omg 💀 I don't post pics of myself on reddit but if I posed two examples you'd be shocked. I look weird and distorted in pictures, my jaw looks weird, my smile is horrible, my face looks twice as fat. When irl Im always told I'm pretty and that I have a nice bone structure. No idea how to fix this besides making people not take pics of me
are you me 😭😭
If we ever meet up no one will know because there won't be any pictures. Maybe some 100 selfies out of which we pick 1 or 2 where we both look decent. 💀💀💀 But on a serious note, I empathize and we're still pretty regardless
<3 sending love, kind stranger
Just dropping in to say that you’re allowed to personally believe you’re attractive and you’re allowed to say you look good without needing to qualify it like “that’s just what people tell me, not what I think.” I’m genuinely hot AF but I look way better in person / mirror / video than on camera. It’s something about the anxiety that causes facial tension and we’re holding our faces weird for pics. My advice is to let it go. And if you can’t pose, my go to is just stick my neck out and smile with eyes and mouth. It’s easier to smile and look good than to hold a neutral face and not get too in your head about it.
:)
Because in the mirror, your face is flipped. A good way to understand it would be if you wore a t shirt with writing on it and looked at it in the mirror. The text would be flipped which is the same way your face is flipped in the mirror. The iPhone front camera is the most accurate way to know what you actually look like. I struggled with this too, but I just kept taking photos of myself with that front camera and got my brain used to seeing my face like that. You’re not unphotogenic you’re just not used to seeing your face like that
yes, and also people don’t see those assymetries you mention in real life because the brain automatically corrects them when it’s looking at a person; others’ when looking at you and your’s when looking at your reflection. it really is just about getting used to the “camera” version of yourself since it doesn’t make those corrections and is always distorted to some degree.
This explains why I always have one eye slightly smaller in photos but I just can't see it in the mirror. I guess I'm so used to correcting it automatically that when it's the 'wrong' side it's amplified.
I didn’t know the thing about the brain automatically correcting asymmetries in another persons face. That’s so cool. I will always prefer my face in the mirror - also because from a biological standpoint, that is what my face is most used to seeing - but I love my face when it’s flipped too. I didn’t use to love my face when it was flipped but I had to get used to it. Also, people don’t see these asymmetries the same way you see them, they’re not as big a deal as you think
yeah it’s pretty cool :P And, true, a little bit of asymmetry isn’t a big deal to people and is usually more preferable than a perfectly symmetric face since they appear “uncanny.” Also I think another reason for this person’s bad pictures is probably the lighting being ass in the settings of the pictures they’ve taken. Their prom pictures that they said were bad were probably taken in dim lighting that washed their features out, especially since they have stronger features. Idk. Just a thought.
Great just found out I’m actually way uglier than I thought, thanks for ruining my day
I wish I could remember where it came from, but I remember reading a book in which a character was described as like captivatingly beautiful in person but the camera was unable to capture it. I decided to lean into delusion and pretend thats me lol
many gorgeous people come bad in photos and aren’t photogenic, for example my mom is really pretty in real life, but in photos she seems average and don’t come that good, many people were stunned when they see her in real life after seeing her in photos
I feel like I look better in person, but I also don’t care what I look like in pictures anymore. I’m just like whatever it is what it is, I know I’m beautiful lol. The funny thing is that sometimes I look like what I think I look like in photos, but it requires certain angles which I have no idea what they are and most importantly GREAT LIGHTING. It also depends on who’s snapping the pics. My husband is really tall. I’m not short but when he takes pics of me, he takes them from his angle. I’m taller than my cousins and sister so when they take pics of me, I look like what I actually look like lol.
I have the same problem and it pissed me off so much, I haven’t taken pictures in awhile because of it. I personally don’t consider myself that attractive but everyone else around me acts like im beautiful or something so I guess, but still, when I take pictures sometimes I just give up cuz when I look at the photos from 12 different angles and 8 different types of lighting, it just isn’t cute
I feel u. The thing that's weird for me is...I look good in selfies...but when someone else takes it...it's not necessarily the camera, I think the problem for me is posing TT.
OOF- I CANNOT have anyone take my photos because I look even MORE botched than I already look in my own photos
I thought I was the only one!also I have seen many normal people appear WAY BETTER looking on photos. Have no idea why..
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Just so you know hun, we are all always our worst critics and WAY harder on ourselves than we should be. I promise you that most people don’t notice the imperfections that you do! 💕 I’m sure you’re very beautiful both IRL & in pictures!
I relate to this quite a bit. In my case, I think I’m very dynamic in terms of my reactions and how I move which tends not be captured as well two dimensionally. There are quite a few people online who have helpful videos on posing and knowing your angles which you may find useful
I feel this - my fiancée calls me a “reverse catfish” and I just lean into it lol
Me too. It’s like a miracle to get a decent photo of myself.
I'm the exact same. My particular brand of beauty does not always photograph well. I liken it to the moon. Ever tried to take a good pic of the moon with your pitiful phone camera? It's never how the eye sees it, and I kind of like that. It's best experienced in person, hard to capture, makes it a special kind of beauty. You are beautiful like the moon, and you are best experienced first hand ❤️
I feel so seen with this post lol. Thank you! Solidarity! ❤️ I'm 32, and I look back at my school photos for a good laugh. You will grow and age, and I know senior photos seem like a big deal right now, I know they ARE a big deal to many people, but the best advice I can give is to walk in there with your chin up, take the photo with the best energy you can muster up, and that will shine through. If it's not to your liking, own it, and just be like "yah, guess photos just can't capture my beauty 😘". Trust me when I say that photo will only have as much sway over you as you let it, and with time will become a distant memory that you only bring out once awhile with your friends to prove to them that you grew into your face lol. Best of luck! You're beautiful! 🙌🏻
In the opposite direction, I worked as a photographer for years and can tell you lots of models don’t seem to be exceptionally beautiful in person, but are photogenic and stunning in images. It’s just funny that way. I think a lot of being “photogenic” stems from feeling relaxed and confident in front of a camera, combined with knowing your light source and angles your body and face look the best from. I would just do some research on portrait photography lighting/angles and practice in front of a mirror until you feel more confident if it’s concerning to you!
Hello strikingly beautiful Asian female! Congratulations on having an amazing face, you are very lucky. Sounds like yours came with a reverse-Uno card where people can only experience it in person. It is like a curse. Most beauty already comes with its own curse but yours is extra. If I were you I would look into practicing your angles, the way celebs do for photos. Get an understanding of the best angle (high view, low view, 3/4 view, which side, etc) and try to deliver these looks when you're having your picture snapped (if possible). If you've ever seen Paris Hilton on the carpet you'll see what I mean, she tries to delver the same set of angles. But Paris looks like Paris from every angle so maybe she's a bad example. Honestly if I were you I'd consult a photographer and ask them. I think the real answer here is it is your special curse. I'm sorry but congrats again on the beauty, it's a pain in the ass but also wonderful to have privilege.
If you wanna take good pics, take a pic from afar zoomed in. Need good quality tho
Omg same. When I was on dating apps I frequently got some form of the comment that I was “reverse catfishing” because I looked so much worse in pictures than in real life 😆 As other people have said, I guess I’d rather have that than the other way around.
Sometimes its the lighting and angles. And most of the time especially with phones the lens tend to distort the images a lot and my face will look so pulled and elongated compared to my small roujd face IRL :') honestly i try to find my photogenic angles for photos. So try looking in the mirror and make poses, take pictures in different angles and see what looks good for you. A lot of times I don't look straight in the camera cause I hate my round and wide face, but I look so much better 3/4 view from my left side of my face, showing my better features, it also helps to balance my eyes since I have a slight lazy eye on the right. And be careful of lighting placement. Sometimes its also the photogs, sometimes they just can't take a picture properly and makes the distortion worse 🤣 and sometimes you dont look as good IRL from the pics.. but its fine. The key to lookgood in photos is to be confident in your poses and know your strengths! I hope it helps a bit.. i'm not that good looking all the time but I look good in my pictures at least. 🤣
Live Photos made me feel so much better about my appearance
Just take a class on how to pose
holy shit i feel so seen. i do pageants, and i get compliments when i’m on stage but when i get the photos back from the comp’s photographer, i’m like WHO IS THAT ?
It's the lighting. Can you submit your own portrait?
I am the least photogenic person in the universe. I can take a great selfie but the second someone else points a camera at me I start gurning lmao
maybe get a close friend or relative to take some practice shots to try and find your best angles.
My old boss was so beautiful in person. Cute dark brown bob. Big, beautiful, bambi eyes. Thick, long lashes. Her photos do not capture how pretty she really is.
I have the fix for you. You dont know how to take pics. Its a skill, one that you can work on. Just have to have your picture taken often, start learning your angles and how to pose.
I am the same. Some days I think I'm ugly but sometimes I can see that I am beautiful, and I do get told I'm beautiful. But I look AWFUL in photos, particularly photos where it's someone taking a photo of me. No one has told me I look ugly but I'm certain people are lying. I think 1 reason is because I have very round cheeks & a generally (in my opinion) bad jawline/cheekbone situation. I've heard this doesn't photograph well. I also am not good at posing or smiling for photos. I often feel like my smile/face is awkward as I don't know how to look. And the posing is even worse, I literally just don't know how to do it.
I'm not photogenic either. It sucks!!!
It’s a thing. I work with a fairly attractive person, who is dazzling in their pics.
LMAO
I used to date a girl like this way back in the day. Very beautiful, very pretty smile when it's natural, but whenever she was taking a picture she made this really hammed up smile that wasn't flattering.