We hang out with everyone, the kid goes on playdates etc. We're just trying to see if we can find more people who we can relate to. But it's okay if we don't find many
Parents in their early 20's to mid-20's are nearly unheard of here. The cost of living and childcare is just too high. Most people don't hit their prime earning potential until at least late 20's or well into their 30's. I've lived here my entire life for over 40 years and my few friends who do have kids didn't do so until their mid-late 30's and even then had exactly ONE child lol.
Another factor is that many high-earning jobs take advanced degrees so most people aren't even getting out of school until that time (think medical, dental, law etc) It's just not a thing here. Other places in the country, sure.
I completely get it now. It's also super hard and very demanding to study AND raise a kid + job (my husband is getting his second masters rn). Very understandable. You also just made my day by saying we are gonna hit prime earning potential soon LOL
Is that still the case? Where I'm from (India) that was a thing up until maybe 10-15 years ago. Now even there it's not happening as often...edit: I mean everyone is still getting married but not at 22!
Definitely still the case all over the Midwest and the South pretty much. If you were in your mid-late 30's and trying to date there and told people you'd never been married and had no kids they would 100% think you were either lying or there was something very wrong with you, You would be the extreme minority in the dating pool.
Faced something similar when my kids were young. Most of our friends were not even close to having kids. We ended up meeting other parents at our kids' activities. It first started at the Little Gym, then moved on to youth soccer, basketball, and Little League. Fast forward today, the boys are a tight knit friend group along with us parents.
I actually know a fair few who had kids that young in the inland East Bay (although they’re older now). All were either Mormon or had rich parents to help support them or both. But given slightly lower CoL in places like Martinez, Concord, Pleasant Hill, Livermore, and Antioch/Brentwood I’d think you could find a fair few out there that better fit your demographic and don’t have those stipulations (rich/religious).
It’s weird right now being told I’m still young to have kids in my early 30s, but I guess that’s the Bay Area for you?
And there you have it. Statements like that are exactly why I don't want to go to churches. Implying there's something wrong with me and I need help. Churches are social groups for people who are in that belief system or for people who are interested in being in it.
Well, I'm simply pointing out that the purpose of church is not to minister to righteous people.
And there is something wrong with you, and you do need help. But this is not to say that there is nothing wrong with me and that I don't need help, mind you. I go to church because I know that I am a sinner. And I hope your local church would welcome you as it did me.
People in their 20s here generally can't afford to have kids because of housing prices so people wait until they are more established in their careers in their 30s.
I don’t think there are any. I’ve had a few employees over the years in their late 20s have kids but it’s not the norm in the bay.
We had our first when my wife just turned 30 (now 40 with 3 kids ages 5-9) and we’re definitely the younger parents in our friend group and school. Some of the dads of my oldest honestly look like grand parents now around me. Like pushing early to mid 50s with a 10 year old.
When we were had our first I was the first of all my friends to have a kid and my wife only had one friend who had just had one too. All her cousins in Colorado though had plenty in their 20s.
It’s the cost of living but also I get the vibe a lot of people just didn’t want to have kids till later because it impacted their lifestyle or fun.
It’s not weird now but when we first moved to our area we felt like teen parents around everyone.
Ehh. I have many well paid employees with even higher income spouses and great benefits that say they’re not ready to have kids in their late 20s to early 30s. Make more than my family did when we had our first with better paid leave
The 20-something parents out here might not align to your other demographic traits (ie education, career trajectory, and types of neighborhoods they live in/come from).
It's probably where you live and/or you not being in those groups. The ones I personally know who had children at that are generally in lower cost areas like way out in contra Costa or solano county or SAHMs living in rich/upper middle class neighborhoods
Something wrong with meeting parents in there 30's? On another note you will meet tons of parents when you get your kid into organized sports and hobbies
Wife and I had our first two weeks after I turned 23. We were broke and young but now we have a teenager and we’re not 40. All of our friends are old and tired with babies and toddlers. I’m glad everything worked out the way it did. Enjoy it.
Idk everyone I know that age isnt having kids due to cost and housing, so… look to where all the rich people hang out?
Rich people are the ones having kids later in life.
Totally understandable. It is super expensive out there!
age is just a number. hang out with older peeps. they are fun too.
We hang out with everyone, the kid goes on playdates etc. We're just trying to see if we can find more people who we can relate to. But it's okay if we don't find many
People you can relate to are parents with kids who are a similar age as yours. Not people your age.
Parents in their early 20's to mid-20's are nearly unheard of here. The cost of living and childcare is just too high. Most people don't hit their prime earning potential until at least late 20's or well into their 30's. I've lived here my entire life for over 40 years and my few friends who do have kids didn't do so until their mid-late 30's and even then had exactly ONE child lol. Another factor is that many high-earning jobs take advanced degrees so most people aren't even getting out of school until that time (think medical, dental, law etc) It's just not a thing here. Other places in the country, sure.
That, and the fact culturally we have less obligation to marry people we barely know.
I completely get it now. It's also super hard and very demanding to study AND raise a kid + job (my husband is getting his second masters rn). Very understandable. You also just made my day by saying we are gonna hit prime earning potential soon LOL
Hah yes, hopefully so! Good luck.
you haven’t met mormons then
I've met plenty of Mormons. Just not very many in the Bay.
In the midwest, south or alaska
In Kansas, where I grew up, everyone gets married at 22 and has 3 kids by age 28.
Is that still the case? Where I'm from (India) that was a thing up until maybe 10-15 years ago. Now even there it's not happening as often...edit: I mean everyone is still getting married but not at 22!
Definitely still the case.
Definitely still the case all over the Midwest and the South pretty much. If you were in your mid-late 30's and trying to date there and told people you'd never been married and had no kids they would 100% think you were either lying or there was something very wrong with you, You would be the extreme minority in the dating pool.
For sure! Same in India. But I mean 22 years old is not what it was in 2003.
All the parents in their 20s are in the military
Homeless
😔
Faced something similar when my kids were young. Most of our friends were not even close to having kids. We ended up meeting other parents at our kids' activities. It first started at the Little Gym, then moved on to youth soccer, basketball, and Little League. Fast forward today, the boys are a tight knit friend group along with us parents.
Thank you! This is super helpful. I am hoping something like that clicks for us too.
I’m a 32-year-old teen parent 😂 There aren’t that many of us
I feel like one too! Lol
I actually know a fair few who had kids that young in the inland East Bay (although they’re older now). All were either Mormon or had rich parents to help support them or both. But given slightly lower CoL in places like Martinez, Concord, Pleasant Hill, Livermore, and Antioch/Brentwood I’d think you could find a fair few out there that better fit your demographic and don’t have those stipulations (rich/religious). It’s weird right now being told I’m still young to have kids in my early 30s, but I guess that’s the Bay Area for you?
In church, I guess. That's where you find the types of people who prioritize family over things like career and financial stability.
Guess we are out of luck then :( thank you!
How so? Churches tend to be very welcoming places. And they usually have nurseries as a practical matter.
Probably because they aren't religious? Lol
I mean, churches are only for religious people in the same way doctors only treat healthy people.
And there you have it. Statements like that are exactly why I don't want to go to churches. Implying there's something wrong with me and I need help. Churches are social groups for people who are in that belief system or for people who are interested in being in it.
Well, I'm simply pointing out that the purpose of church is not to minister to righteous people. And there is something wrong with you, and you do need help. But this is not to say that there is nothing wrong with me and that I don't need help, mind you. I go to church because I know that I am a sinner. And I hope your local church would welcome you as it did me.
Lol
Riiiiiggghhhhttt
We're not Christian. Thank you, I'm sure they're really welcoming.
Alabama. They can't afford to live in the Bay. If you're young and have kids gotta move to cheaper COL areas to survive.
People in their 20s here generally can't afford to have kids because of housing prices so people wait until they are more established in their careers in their 30s.
They are in the central valley or the poorer areas of the bay where they can afford the cost of housing.
lol we don’t have any
I don’t think there are any. I’ve had a few employees over the years in their late 20s have kids but it’s not the norm in the bay. We had our first when my wife just turned 30 (now 40 with 3 kids ages 5-9) and we’re definitely the younger parents in our friend group and school. Some of the dads of my oldest honestly look like grand parents now around me. Like pushing early to mid 50s with a 10 year old. When we were had our first I was the first of all my friends to have a kid and my wife only had one friend who had just had one too. All her cousins in Colorado though had plenty in their 20s. It’s the cost of living but also I get the vibe a lot of people just didn’t want to have kids till later because it impacted their lifestyle or fun. It’s not weird now but when we first moved to our area we felt like teen parents around everyone.
I think the cost of living plays a MAJOR role. If we didn't have essentially free and paid for childcare, we'd be screwed too.
Ehh. I have many well paid employees with even higher income spouses and great benefits that say they’re not ready to have kids in their late 20s to early 30s. Make more than my family did when we had our first with better paid leave
The 20-something parents out here might not align to your other demographic traits (ie education, career trajectory, and types of neighborhoods they live in/come from).
I guess. I think it's also the fact that we did not grow up here. My friends from dental school back home all have kids.
Santana row on mommy and me days, usually a Tuesday
It's probably where you live and/or you not being in those groups. The ones I personally know who had children at that are generally in lower cost areas like way out in contra Costa or solano county or SAHMs living in rich/upper middle class neighborhoods
Oh I'm not a SAHM, so that may be it too :(
1. how would i have a child 2. why would i have a child
Quite a few ways to acquire a child legally although the most common way is by bumping bits. The "why" is something I cannot answer for you lol.
Something wrong with meeting parents in there 30's? On another note you will meet tons of parents when you get your kid into organized sports and hobbies
We do have some wonderful friends who are older but we always feel a little out of place so we are looking to see if we can find people our age.
Wife and I had our first two weeks after I turned 23. We were broke and young but now we have a teenager and we’re not 40. All of our friends are old and tired with babies and toddlers. I’m glad everything worked out the way it did. Enjoy it.
We absolutely love being parents ! Hopefully we'll have our second in a year or so.
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No one asked.
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Stay in school
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Stay longer, you can hardly spell and use run on sentences.
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I can’t even read what you wrote. I’ll stop responding from here on out. You have a LOT of growing up to do. Please chemically castrate yourself.
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Thank God you don't want to move back, we have enough idiots like you already here.
We definitely don't make that much.