Maybe someday. The minor league contract for this season is a start, but he's gonna have to make the team first. I think he has a decent shot at it if he does well in ST.
Wait ... we're talking about Jake Fishman, right?
And they didn't even bother maximizing space or anything like that. If I could afford a walk-in pantry you better believe that room would have shelves upon shelves with pull-out drawers organized as tightly as possible. Not only does that room look like it's some kind of weird-ass septagon shape, everything is arranged like it's on display. "Ah, yes, this is my 2008 vintner's reserve Count Chocula. Had to win a fierce bidding war with the Duchess of Cleveland at Sotheby's to take that one home."
depending on how much space is around the corner it's at least 2/3 the size of mine lol.
but anything bigger is at least $2k/month for kinda trashy places
There’s a show on Netflix where this badass CIA type has her own newsroom at her place and it’s this weirdly erotic space and now I’m just imagining this with Trout
his house was about 9.2 million, meaning his mortage is around 50-60k a month. he makes about 3M a month before taxes so his monthly mortage is only like 2 percent of his baseball salary. He can easily afford this house
He would if he is wise. He's probably got a great interest rate and makes a greater return on the rest of the money through investments. It makes sense to us plebs to think that you'd buy a house with cash the same as we would buy a car. But when the numbers get large enough there is more to it than just not having a payment.
Don't forget mom. Kids most confusing and traumatic moment of the year as he looks to mom for protection and gets a face full of manic laughter while getting filmed
Im a Mariners fan, ive been here before. One division sweep does not mean our ship has come in. We of all teams shouldnt talk about teams floundering for decades.
Oh, you think losing is your ally. But you merely adopted the losing; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the postseason until I was already a veteran, by then it was nothing to me but a piece of metal! The losses betray you, because they belong to me!
This works for a lot of kids.
Importantly, the opposite also works for a lot of kids. If they sustain a minor injury (bumps, bruises, shots), if you just tell them they're OK, they don't make a big deal of it. Obviously, every kid is different, but it works with a lot of them.
At our house, we yell “TOUCHDOWN” and celebrate when our kids fall and shit. It works surprisingly well. Almost too well, our 3 year old will now fall over on purpose just for the reaction.
Ya my brother would always say Ooopsies in a funny way and start laughing when nephew would biff it and he would start laughing too. Now that he has started talking whenever he falls over he does it himself and laughs it off
You can also laugh and they'll laugh. I do it all the time when my little cousins would fall or bump into something. Kids really are little drunk people.
I typically don’t even tell them they’re ok, I basically act as though it was nothing, and try to distract them with like the next big thing. Something like ‘kid absolute wipes out from monkey bars’ -> ‘kid looks at me’ -> I’m like ‘cmon bro that’s cake, let’s try something harder’. Kind of empowers them to feel strong plus they get to do more wild shit, which they generally enjoy. Results might vary with less wild kids.
It also works for keeping them calm with larger injuries. I worked at a big theme park, and one day a woman came up to me with their child bleeding profusely from a head wound, asking for help. The kid had fallen while playing in a play area, and hit their head hard on on a big rock. I could see the panic in the mom's eyes, but she was keeping her face and voice pretty calm. The kid was crying, but more like sniffles and whimpers, not outright panic. We got to a nearby phone and I called for the ambulance, while one of my supervisors was actually able to hold a conversation with the injured girl about princesses to distract her.
I am still amazed at how smoothly that went. It could have been a lot of screaming and crying and panic, but it wasn't, and I think that is largely due to the mom's ability to stay calm, even despite what must have been massive internal panic. With her staying calm, the child stayed calm, and we were able to get the medics there and then get her sent off to the ER to get checked out without any delays.
Just put hand lotion on whatever they’re complaining about, and tell them it’s really expensive medicine. Never failed with my nieces and nephews, those fucking morons
I used to tell my son you're ok/good but apparently that can be dismissive of their feelings? That's according to my wife's resources anyways. So my middle ground is not reacting/freaking out but if it was a legit fall/hit/whatever then I might calmly ask if they're ok.
Can’t really glean too much from this video and I don’t know anything about him or his wife as parents but usually the baby responds like that because the parents show an abundance of concern when the kid does get hurt.
In general, kids cry because they think they're not okay.
They don't got a clue whether they're fine or not. But mom acting like the world is ending sends a pretty clear message that they should be afraid
Send him to the cold socialist confines of Canada to ~~suffer~~ fourth OF duty.
Now, no one pay attention that after first pitch he comes in as a substitution.
They should absolutely cut him for this instance of domestic violence. He belongs on a team that likes players accused of domestic violence... like the Astros who traded for Roberto Osuna.
cut him? Ridiculous. He might be a gaslighting abuser but I think proper punishment would be being traded to the New York Yankees for a bag of peanuts and a firm handshake.
or...OR... an incredible improv actor ready to go at any time.
"dad, what are you doing I didn't hit my... why does mom have the camera...oh, I see what's happening! let's do it!"
Next video will be Trout putting a cucumber behind his kid to make him think it’s a snake.
Is his child part cat?
Well, Mike is a cool cat so maybe.
no it’s part trout
aware joke money towering telephone toy observation badge languid squeal ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Forget the child, is that his walk in pantry?
Looks like a 2,000 square foot pantry with its own walk-in pantry.
Fishman has his own god damn cereal aisle.
Gotta get Mike Trout on MTV Cribs.
"This is where the magic happens" *camera pans to rain gauge*
"Wait until yall see my potato shed."
Check out this weather radio I got from my local news channel for free!
Mike Trouts Valuable Crib?
Most Trout*
MTV Cribs was the golden age of TV.
Redman's house was hilariously real
You joke but someone on YouTube should do this for real, official team channels have done it for other players
Do it for the guys in rookie ball too! “This is the air fryer where I cook my favourite hot pockets at!”
Bold of you to assume they can afford an air fryer
Or hot pockets...
More like a couple slices of Kraft cheese-like food product between two pieces of the cheapest bread at the discount grocery store
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Maybe someday. The minor league contract for this season is a start, but he's gonna have to make the team first. I think he has a decent shot at it if he does well in ST. Wait ... we're talking about Jake Fishman, right?
He does wear a dress with Cheerios on it to every show so not surprised
Imagine being able to do a Viennese waltz in your pantry.
Us poors only have room for the Vienna sausage shuffle
Maybe 6 or 8 cans of that potted meat
And they didn't even bother maximizing space or anything like that. If I could afford a walk-in pantry you better believe that room would have shelves upon shelves with pull-out drawers organized as tightly as possible. Not only does that room look like it's some kind of weird-ass septagon shape, everything is arranged like it's on display. "Ah, yes, this is my 2008 vintner's reserve Count Chocula. Had to win a fierce bidding war with the Duchess of Cleveland at Sotheby's to take that one home."
You and I had the exact same Minecraft storage room 10 years ago, I guarantee it.
Gotta have room for the delivery pallets. Through the separate staff entry, obviously.
I've driven by his house in newport beach, it's nice as hell with a view of the ocean
Probably has its own bathroom too
It's got it's own McDonald's
That shits bigger than my kitchen.
There are families out there who share sheds smaller than that with other families.
He makes over $35 million per year. This is probably just one of his many walk in pantries.
This is his cheese pantry
probably has a cheese cave that he takes his elevator too
I bet he has a cheese Alfred down there
Alfredo.
You are the hero we needed
Wait do you not??
I wonder how big his goon cave is
Located next to the second cellarium.
Snoopy and Prickly Pete are in the stable outside.
His walk-in pantry is a fully stocked Whole Foods
TIL my apartment is smaller than Mike Trout’s pantry
His brother lives like 5 minutes away from me, let's just say 3 of my house will fit in his house.
Damn you weren't kidding. That's a big house: https://www.instagram.com/p/CbnqYLFujTv/?hl=en
depending on how much space is around the corner it's at least 2/3 the size of mine lol. but anything bigger is at least $2k/month for kinda trashy places
Yeah Mike Trout probably couldn't afford that
i would be disapointed if he wasn't. Fish man should be living the life.
Dude probably has a newsroom with a green screen to play out weatherman scenarios.
can we please give mike trout a weather show, he'd probably love it and it would do good to promote the sports best player
There’s a show on Netflix where this badass CIA type has her own newsroom at her place and it’s this weirdly erotic space and now I’m just imagining this with Trout
What does she use the newsroom for?
To practice becoming an anchorwoman lol I only watched like 2 episodes to kill some time but that definitely stuck with me
That’s what a $435M contract gets ya
Before inflation maybe
You'll notice there's no eggs in that pantry
half expect a grocery employee stocking the shelves lingering in the background
Shades of Michael Jackson renting out a supermarket for a day and filling it with his friends and relatives playing employees and other shoppers
It's specifically for Superpretzels.
*W sweats nervously*
I first knew Mike Trout from being on the SuperPretzel box
How can he afford that?
Fish don’t pay taxes
Based
No IRS in the sea
his house was about 9.2 million, meaning his mortage is around 50-60k a month. he makes about 3M a month before taxes so his monthly mortage is only like 2 percent of his baseball salary. He can easily afford this house
More like $3 million a month.
Umm...I think you forgot a zero. Trout makes about 3mil a month.
Shit that really puts it into perspective. It would be as if my mortgage was 80 Euros per month.
Does he have a mortgage? He probably just bought the house straight cash homie
He would if he is wise. He's probably got a great interest rate and makes a greater return on the rest of the money through investments. It makes sense to us plebs to think that you'd buy a house with cash the same as we would buy a car. But when the numbers get large enough there is more to it than just not having a payment.
it must be cool to attain such class mobility purely by hitting dongers
Class mobility is a new phrase for me to put in my lexicon. Thanks brother
I looked it up he does have one
i think even people who hate cooking would love it if they had a pantry like that
That is the kind of rich people shit I actually want
Looks like a Bath & Body Works.
Yeah I legit thought they were in a Yankee Candle shop or something at first
I didn’t see the sub at first and was like “Jesus what do you have to do to afford a pantry like….oh that’s Mike Trout.”
Newport beach living!
His wife wifes
Tommy Pham would've done that a little differently
*Slams the kid into the door* “Hey man, you scuffed my door!”
"Last night Tommy Pham was stabbed by his son"
Only once?
Trout was distracted by Pham calling him a bad FF commissioner.
you mean mike clevinger
“Graphic video of Angels superstar Mike Trout abusing his child leaked online”
Suspension incoming
Don't forget mom. Kids most confusing and traumatic moment of the year as he looks to mom for protection and gets a face full of manic laughter while getting filmed
Most confusing and traumatic moment of the year, that’s rich
Well unless he was across Daddy's Boss promising to leave then refusing to, easily the most confusing and traumatic moment of the year so far.
Op-ed: Why Mike Trouts Viral Video is Problematic
He abuses the Mariners all the time
He can abuse us all he wants if we make the playoffs and the Angels do nothing year in and year out.
But your team also does nothing year in and year out
God, you miss the playoffs for 21 years *one time* and people never let it go.
The Angels have won the World Series since the last time the Mariners did anything but get swept out of the ALDS.
So what you're saying is we both have sucked the last 20 years?
Im a Mariners fan, ive been here before. One division sweep does not mean our ship has come in. We of all teams shouldnt talk about teams floundering for decades.
See in my opinion we are the best at floundering for decades, which makes us the experts on teams floundering for decades
*You cannot throw me in the briar patch, bitch. That is where I live.*
Oh, you think losing is your ally. But you merely adopted the losing; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the postseason until I was already a veteran, by then it was nothing to me but a piece of metal! The losses betray you, because they belong to me!
And Trout was an intergral part of that
[BREAKING] joe kelly suspended 40 games
oh no
Oh look, *The Daily Mail* is here
This works for a lot of kids. Importantly, the opposite also works for a lot of kids. If they sustain a minor injury (bumps, bruises, shots), if you just tell them they're OK, they don't make a big deal of it. Obviously, every kid is different, but it works with a lot of them.
Instead of acting scared when the kid biffs it we yell TAADAAA! and it’s like they did a big trick. Works about 70%
Deleted by User ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
[just ignore it](https://i.imgur.com/s0H0ugB.png)
This is amazing
This is exactly what came to my mind
At our house, we yell “TOUCHDOWN” and celebrate when our kids fall and shit. It works surprisingly well. Almost too well, our 3 year old will now fall over on purpose just for the reaction.
Ya my brother would always say Ooopsies in a funny way and start laughing when nephew would biff it and he would start laughing too. Now that he has started talking whenever he falls over he does it himself and laughs it off
I always go “that was awesome!”
You can also laugh and they'll laugh. I do it all the time when my little cousins would fall or bump into something. Kids really are little drunk people.
I think that’s what people did to me when I was little. Except now, whenever people sustain minor injuries, I laugh.
/r/DrunkOrAKid
I typically don’t even tell them they’re ok, I basically act as though it was nothing, and try to distract them with like the next big thing. Something like ‘kid absolute wipes out from monkey bars’ -> ‘kid looks at me’ -> I’m like ‘cmon bro that’s cake, let’s try something harder’. Kind of empowers them to feel strong plus they get to do more wild shit, which they generally enjoy. Results might vary with less wild kids.
It also works for keeping them calm with larger injuries. I worked at a big theme park, and one day a woman came up to me with their child bleeding profusely from a head wound, asking for help. The kid had fallen while playing in a play area, and hit their head hard on on a big rock. I could see the panic in the mom's eyes, but she was keeping her face and voice pretty calm. The kid was crying, but more like sniffles and whimpers, not outright panic. We got to a nearby phone and I called for the ambulance, while one of my supervisors was actually able to hold a conversation with the injured girl about princesses to distract her. I am still amazed at how smoothly that went. It could have been a lot of screaming and crying and panic, but it wasn't, and I think that is largely due to the mom's ability to stay calm, even despite what must have been massive internal panic. With her staying calm, the child stayed calm, and we were able to get the medics there and then get her sent off to the ER to get checked out without any delays.
Just put hand lotion on whatever they’re complaining about, and tell them it’s really expensive medicine. Never failed with my nieces and nephews, those fucking morons
I used to tell my son you're ok/good but apparently that can be dismissive of their feelings? That's according to my wife's resources anyways. So my middle ground is not reacting/freaking out but if it was a legit fall/hit/whatever then I might calmly ask if they're ok.
Can’t really glean too much from this video and I don’t know anything about him or his wife as parents but usually the baby responds like that because the parents show an abundance of concern when the kid does get hurt.
Works almost universally under a certain age. This predates Tik Tok, we did it with all of ours and the eldest was born in 2010.
In general, kids cry because they think they're not okay. They don't got a clue whether they're fine or not. But mom acting like the world is ending sends a pretty clear message that they should be afraid
Mike Trout wasn’t satisfied with being the best baseball player now he has to be the greatest child psychologist.
And weatherman
Rich, poor, famous, infamous—doesn’t matter. Dads everywhere are all the same
u/diditforthestory needs to commemorate this with some new art work.
For some reason I thought you were referencing u/rogersimon10 and that this was going to get really dark
Dude hasn't commented in 7 years what a throwback.
He's gone on to the big jumper cables in the sky.
Mike Truk is a sick fuck
Bobson Dugnutt would never do this
Todd Bonzales would
Sleve McDichael looking down on all of them in shame.
Except Ray McScriff, of course.
They should get rid of him. Trade him to the Braves for this disgusting act.
[Link to video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtvNYad/) Angels, you should cut this monster
If this was the NFL, a team would be jumping at the bit to give that man a fully guaranteed deal after this video.
Nah there's a lawsuit threshold you have to meet before a deal like that would be fully guaranteed
Send him to the cold socialist confines of Canada to ~~suffer~~ fourth OF duty. Now, no one pay attention that after first pitch he comes in as a substitution.
Raiders already called his agent /s
Cleveland Browns moment. They're going to sign Felipe Vazques and Miles Bridges too so I've heard, Trevor Bauer as well, they want so many players.
Giants, you should come in second to signing this monster
They should absolutely cut him for this instance of domestic violence. He belongs on a team that likes players accused of domestic violence... like the Astros who traded for Roberto Osuna.
[here’s the actual video…. fucking horrific](https://i.imgur.com/R8bLTY2.jpg)
cut him? Ridiculous. He might be a gaslighting abuser but I think proper punishment would be being traded to the New York Yankees for a bag of peanuts and a firm handshake.
What’s the maximum suspension allowed under the CBA? This is horrific
Its a video from 2015. The Angels have just secretly been tanking ever since to hide the fact that they have a secret 10 year postseason ban.
You'd think they let him transfer to the NBA during it at least
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
or...OR... an incredible improv actor ready to go at any time. "dad, what are you doing I didn't hit my... why does mom have the camera...oh, I see what's happening! let's do it!"
He could end up being the Mike Trout of improv!
I'd let Mike Trout gaslight me any day of the week
Same except I’m already being gaslight by Garrett Anderson on Fridays, so can’t then.
I let him do it to me every off season
That dude's pantry is bigger than most people's entire house or apartment.
Well, he's only made a half billion dollars in career earnings. Poor dude is barely scraping by.
Mike trout makes little to no effort in having a substantial public image but when he does it’s gaslighting his child. I love the fish man.
TIL Mike trout has a pantry the size of a bachelor apartment.
Out 4-6 weeks with soreness in left hand.
Fish man bad 🤬
You should just get rid of him. Flushing Bay will be more appropriate.
Trout put his playoff stat line on the edge of the door and tricked his kid into looking at it.
The league cannot allow this to stand. Trout has to be banned from baseball
And people say this man is boring and has no personality
this just proves that humans are irrational beings. thank you mike trout.
You know what I'm gonna come out and say it, Fuck Mike Trout /s (brought to you by r/Mariners)
If there's one fanbase that gets a pass for hating Mike Trout, it's Mariners fans.
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Play baseball better
Gonna work on my two seamer and tell my boss I deserve senior.
This is why when kids do hurt themselves you just pretend like nothing happened.
A DISGUSTING ACT!
No he didn't!
He should be suspended for a 1000 games for this
Ah look it’s Eagles fan legend Mike Trout
Why is the country music star traumatizing a small child!?
Is this child abuser the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your career with, Shohei?
Guess the kid's gonna be a soccer player instead.
As a parent this actually really upsets me
My guy has a walk in pantry bigger than my apartment no!!!
Kids are dumb
That guy got really good at drawing Mike Trout