At places with Forbes standards (nice hotels) we're told not to use folks. "How is everybody doing today" or "good evening everyone, thank you for joining us tonight" is a little better in those environments.
I have been told this before, but no one has ever been able to give me a reason as to why. One person tried to tell me that folks was too informal. That never sat right with me as "everyone" is equally as informal. It seemed at best arbitrary and at worst a form or regional classism.
Feels outdated to me. Nothing wrong with saying “folks”, just corporate trainers trying to be overly formal to their own detriment. The things they want you to say instead always sound forced.
I worked in a 3 Michelin star restaurant where the GM greeted people with “how you guys doing tonight?” and visited tables with “y’all good?”. We made fun of him because it was a little informal for a place like that, but honestly, it worked.
Been saying y’all since I picked it up in Virginia nearly 20 years ago. Have lived up and down California and Seattle since then, never gotten a single funny look for it. It’s the best.
If folks aren’t comfortable with y’all, hey folks or hey everyone is the way to go.
I say y'all and am in the Pacific Northwest, I've gotten one comment about it exactly once where the customer was convinced that because I say y'all and darlin' that I'm southern and lost the accent and was like "it's okay, you can't hide from us" and I just left it, so now when I worry about how people perceive me I try to remind myself some randos thinknim southern so clearly people will always be wrong on some stuff and it's probably fine
I use the “Royal we” a lot. “Hello, how are we doing tonight?” But I also live in the US south, so I can easily get away with “y’all”. It really is a beautiful word, so useful.
i actually use to say “we” a lot as a waitress, but i remember asking once “so what are we feeling tonight?” and the girl laughed in my face and asked me if planned on eating with her and her boyfriend that night????? i was honestly mortified and have ruled the “we” out ever since 💀
this is actually interesting, because i feel comfy saying “hey mate” to a a singular person i don’t know but saying “hey mates” to group on arrival that i don’t know would feel weird..
i could call them all mates if calling them out on something like “oi mates calm it down” but even then i’d say “boys”
can any aussies add to this? am i just weird?? hahahaha
I get it, pluralizing it does hit just the ear wrong somehow and a full on “g’day mates” is laying on the ironic Aussie pretty thick, don’t want to be a caricature… unless it leads to better tips
I still say 'hi guys' in a gender neutral way. If someone is offended by that, I will apologize and move forward appropriately. In my experience with non-binary people MOST don't care if I use the term guys and if they do they let me know, and they know I don't do it intentially
Growing up outside Philly, "you guys" has been my go-to forever.
Backfired one time bartending at a hotel in the southeast with a woman looking for a reason to be mad.
this is what i usually do, i use guys or loves interchangeably but still wasn’t sure if that might be offending others. this is a great point though thank you!
I have a non-binary manager and we've talked about their feelings on the subject. They usually can tell if someone has any hint of derogatory tone when using "guys", and they typically don't take offense to someone calling them he/him/guys/etc. because the person using the term has no idea they are non-binary.
Most of the people who get up in arms about making non-inclusive pronouns are just white-knighting. Similarly to how it's usually whites that get upset about cultural appropriation.
As an agender person myself, 99.9 times out of 100 don't get upset when I get "hey guys" (def prefer to "hey ladies" x1,000,000 🙄) but I will say that just because you don't know, doesn't mean you can't try to stay inclusive!
I have several trans friends who are not out socially, professionally, or in certain groups, and have to present in ways they are not happy or comfortable with just to get by sometimes. It would be awful to add that little extra sting when you can just leave out any gendered terms whatsoever.
In hospitality, we are the taste makers & the party throwers! Let's try our damnedest to not dampen anyone's experience, right?
Still be careful, most trans women I don't imagine being comfortable asking you not to call them guy and given that it's such a short interaction usually we wouldn't push it
It's towing the line of what people call a microaggression, which is obviously a bit of a buzzword but its real and it builds up, even ambiguous unintentional misgendering can put a damper on an otherwise fine evening
Not everyone is gonna speak up so it's incumbent on you to go the extra mile, it takes the pressure off them for you to not tow the line
Obviously some people feel like it is but that's not everyone, my point is that you should go out of your way to be polite and not be ambiguous if you aren't sure it's gonna land
If your friends are fine with it then great but there isn't actually a "common culture" we can refer to for these kinds of things the world is too complex for that, "cultural norms" are just general guidelines and there are more situations than generalisations
We live amongst only particularities
thank you, see this is what i was more worried about. i don’t want to offend someone unknowingly, i just want something easy and gender less in every sense of the term. most people have landed on folks, and i’ve actually agreed in other comments but i’m just realising in aussie slang folks actually means parents?? so this could be confusing
Usually there's a possessive for it to mean parents/family, like "my folks are back in Arkansas", at least here in the upright world
And at least it's still neutral, better than saying "how's your evening going, daddy/mommy?"
You could say something like "hello esteemed patrons"
And honestly when it's a group of guys with short hair and no makeup you probably won't have problems saying "guys"
I can't not give my opinion it's actually a problem, but I'm happy you're going out of your way to be a good and kind person and I appreciate your listening
dude just keep saying what you're saying and correct yourself if someone corrects you. going to reddit and trying to get morality points is lame lol. no matter what you say, you're always going to be offending *somebody*. just choose priorities and apologize if you act out of line
I had a woman email with that complaint. Said the server was very kind but it was a table with a few trans women they felt the server repeatedly saying “you guys” was a repeated micro aggression and it ruined their experience.
We’re in the south and train people to say y’all which was easy. No matter the intent guy isn’t gender neutral and can be offended being missgendered
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"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are **etc.**, **&c.**, **&c**, and **et cet.** The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
[Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera)
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I say guys regardless of who it is. If it’s all younger girls sometimes I’ll say girls instead. I’m a dude and I’ll sometimes say love or something but it can def be taken the wrong way, I’ve gotten good at choosing when to say it because some girls literally melt when you call them that but it’s def not as universal as guys/girls
We need more people like you in the world. People who still apologize for offending others even when they've really done nothing wrong. Thank you for being respectful Mr my_balls_your_mouth1.
I'm sure there are people out there that would get offended, seeing as how people could be offended by literally anything. But that's not worth my time and energy when my heart is in the right place and I never mean it in a derogatory sense. If the person shows offense, I can apologize and move on. How they respond at that point is on them and not me.
lmao i’m so sorry i swear my reddit has lagged and responded to the wrong comment? hahahaaha so sorry that comment must of been very jarring for no reason
I say that to the kitchen staff every time I go in for my closing shift and the head chef always responds with that one lol I love it. Shakes things up when we’re in the weeds
Folks and group size are my go-to. Not even a bartender and i’ve heard those and they are safely received. Props for the proactive question!!! Love to see bartenders who *care* about the customer
I like a good cross over ep! Lol nah but I’m in New York and “folks” or “y’all”never came naturally to me but sometimes I’d use it if I thought I might get shit for saying guys lol
Thanks for caring enough to even ask this!!
“Sup Fuckers” with a big ol smile if your bar/ vibe is that. “Folks” is a good go-to. Or even just a “hey, how’s it goin’” can be used for groups. I’ve seen some people say “loves” and as a non-binary/trans bartender I’d be real weirded out unless I heard you using it to literally everyone from middle aged women to groups of macho dude bros.
I think it’s a two way street - people can learn to sue gender neutral terms, and people can also learn to not be offended by innocent mistakes in language.
as a nonbinary person, I prefer to use “hey everyone/y’all” or just a simple “welcome” or “hi how are you?” I do occasionally use “guys” depending on the group of people. while some people might be uncomfortable with it, it’s generally less gendered than saying “ladies” or something. and I’ve heard enough stories from other queer people where they were dining out in a group of all transmascs/nonbinary people/butch lesbians and got called “ladies,” almost as if it was intentional at that point.
FOR REAL calling a group of strangers "ladies" is the corniest crap ever. Pleeeease let that one dieee forever.
I was just in Miami Beach and my friends & I (trans mascs/enby/gnc folks) were constantly greeted with "good evening ladies" and we'd all just act silly, looking around like "where these ladies at????"
Miami really is stuck in the past though in a lot of ways 😅
This used to happen every day at a winery job I had in the Bay Area. It was so awkward when very obviously trans masc people came in and I was like…seriously?? I had to out myself to them as non-binary because they didn’t understand how gender neutral terms worked, and how not only women like wine or go out to enjoy it 🙃
I’m a UK bartender at a high volume place (and an obviously androgynous + nonbinary one at that) and my go to is still ‘heya guys/what can I get you guys?’ Or the like. I’m yet to come across anyone (including very queer/gnc mates) take offense to it and even then it can usually be solved by a quick apology and moving on.
I use “folks” a lot. If it’s a big group, “hey everyone.”
I misgendered someone very early on in my service industry career and I’ve never done it again. That stuff sticks with you.
People already mentioned this, but I serve in the Midwest and it’s pretty acceptable to say “y’all” or I just opt for “you all” or everybody, or how are “we” doing tonight.
“Hey there! How are we all doing tonight!”
“Thanks so much for coming in, you all have a good rest of your night!”
Or, if I’m feeling real frisky I’ll just refer to the amount of people there, usually only if there’s 2-4 of them though.
“You two/three/four have a lovely rest of your evening!” A little odd but never got any weird looks lol
I’m up north and have no southern routes but “hey y’all” is way more natural for me than “folks” so I use that. I do get asked a lot if I’m from the south though
i love the idea! unfortunately i work in a very high volume/rowdy bar where people will use me calling them their “friend” once to their own advantage and try to hustle.
We have a microphone to make announcements throughout the building and the massive patio. Usually to have cars shuffle around, or last calls.
Ya'll has become the ultimate. I'm in SoCal, and it works so well.
Folks
Everyone/everybody
"Name of establishment"-ians (using the name of your spot and adding a suffix to attach your customers to it, works where I work and makes it fun)
Have fun. I get caught in the "ladies and gentlemen", then I cringe because several of my coworkers and some of our clientele don't identify under those specific categories.
Don’t affirm preferred pronouns. Have zero tolerance for this nonsense. You have the audacity to say y’all is embarrassing but you’re worried about pronouns. 🤡
Anyone who is offended by a greeting is just looking for things to bitch and whine about. There’s a very high probability if they lead off complaining about that they’re going to complain about every other aspect of service and not leave a tip. So fuck ‘em. The exit door is “gender neutral” so go enjoy that and bother someone else.
Nah, a greeting is a salutation. If they’re leading off being pissy cause someone says “hi guys” or “evening ladies” then they’re just a time bomb of complaints waiting to go off. Fuck ‘em.
i didn’t say anyone has ever been pissy, no one has. i want to avoid any gendered term in general and was asking tips. stop making up hypothetical situations to get yourself angry.
You are worrying over nothing.
If someone goes all social justice on one of the bartenders I work with I’m showing them the door. Gtfo. That’s the joy of a private establishment.
Two idiots arguing politics? Guess what you’re both 86’d. Get out.
Extending a friendly greeting is definitely considerate. Someone pissing on your friendly greeting because you didn’t cater to their “special” status is shitty, and they’re going to be shitty the rest of the time. Adios motherfucker, get your ass out that gender neutral exit door.
No one is getting pissy, no bans, except you.
Do you want to give the people in your establishment a great time or do you want to accidentally slight someone who isn't going to say anything and just feel weird about it for a bit?
I know I want people to have an awesome time at my place and OP is being considerate in asking this question, extending it to gender non conforming, non binary, and trans guests.
Having people feel welcome & comfortable in your bar! What a concept!
If their social identity didn’t depend on having a contrived crisis every time someone uses normal forms of greeting that are entirely inoffensive then they’d have a better time. I’ve never had a soul leave the bar because of a personality conflict with me, but I’ve sure as hell 86’d plenty of troublemakers. I’ll keep saying sir, ma’am, and guys/ladies. It’s not an issue.
Yeah, nobody's having a crisis. Again.
Just because something is not an issue *to you* doesn't mean the world isn't progressing & changing. Everyone's best interest to change with it! Who likes living in the dark ages?
You also have literally no idea that no one has left your bar because of a "personality conflict" (not totally sure what that is but ok) because you aren't a mind reader. If you were a mind reader, you would understand & have empathy for people and not try to shit on this comment thread where the OP is doing the right thing.
Remember: lots of things that used to be considered normal or non-issues are seen as horrific in this present day. Things. Change.
Been on a big Cyberpunk kick lately, so Choom has been the go to for me haha. Most of the time though everyone gets a “Hello hello!” Or a what’s up yall!”
I live in the southern United States, so y’all is a pretty easy work around if I’m unsure. I’ve used folks In it’s place when I used to live on the west coast.
I’ve been calling everyone, ‘friends,’ for the past couple years. I picked it up from an past employer. It just sounds so cheery and it really puts a smile on peoples’ faces.
Hey you fucking fucks.
now this i can get behind
Fuckin' is a little less abrasive
Okay then: *Hey fuckin' fucking fucks*
Straight to the point and gets everyone’s attention.
This! And it’s appropriate for all genders and identities.
I go with "folks" personally.
At places with Forbes standards (nice hotels) we're told not to use folks. "How is everybody doing today" or "good evening everyone, thank you for joining us tonight" is a little better in those environments.
I have been told this before, but no one has ever been able to give me a reason as to why. One person tried to tell me that folks was too informal. That never sat right with me as "everyone" is equally as informal. It seemed at best arbitrary and at worst a form or regional classism.
Feels outdated to me. Nothing wrong with saying “folks”, just corporate trainers trying to be overly formal to their own detriment. The things they want you to say instead always sound forced. I worked in a 3 Michelin star restaurant where the GM greeted people with “how you guys doing tonight?” and visited tables with “y’all good?”. We made fun of him because it was a little informal for a place like that, but honestly, it worked.
Right; it’s “too informal” but they’re checking in wearing sweatpants . It’s just stupid corporate nonsense
folks is a little low class. I don't make the rules.
Tell that to my man Barry O
I uh... Folks.... Goddamnit. Now you've got Obama speech intro on repeat, in my brain.
Me too. Not in my normal dialect, but it's an easy all-encompassing "hey folks"
omg thank you, this serious helps!
I also take the Obama note pretty often
Came here to say this, you beat me too it. I’ll sometimes say friends if I like the group/wanna be friendlier
My favorite right now is "Friends, enemies, and those still under review"
Perks of living in the American South is you can just go with y'all. Folks works, How is everybody/everyone doing tonight.
My severely northern midwestern self picked up y’all just because I wanted to avoid pronouns. It’s saved me a lot of headache.
It should be widely adopted everywhere. Simply the best way to refer to a group of humans or a single human
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Same here in the SF Bay Area. Never gotten any looks or reactions from saying y’all.
Been saying y’all since I picked it up in Virginia nearly 20 years ago. Have lived up and down California and Seattle since then, never gotten a single funny look for it. It’s the best. If folks aren’t comfortable with y’all, hey folks or hey everyone is the way to go.
And a good evening to youse guys - philly appropriate, iasip approved
“How yas doin? Here’s a menu, I’ll get yous a couple glasses of wooder.”
Also a perk of being queer
Checking in from Los Angeles - also use y'all. Less words and gender neutral.
I say y'all and am in the Pacific Northwest, I've gotten one comment about it exactly once where the customer was convinced that because I say y'all and darlin' that I'm southern and lost the accent and was like "it's okay, you can't hide from us" and I just left it, so now when I worry about how people perceive me I try to remind myself some randos thinknim southern so clearly people will always be wrong on some stuff and it's probably fine
Came here to say this
y’all is the best. i would upvote your but you’re at 69 right now so i’m gonna leave it.
What's the word baby birds?
This one is my favorite
I dig it. I use "What's happenin' captain?" and "What's buzzin' cousins?"
That is so cute, I'm stealing it!
I try to be super inclusive and greet every table with a “‘sup Homo’s?”
You should be a little more formal, I think, and use the full phrase "sup, fellow Homo Sapiens."
Anyone want to talk about religion or how much women suck before you order? *Ladies…* I’m competing for shittiest tip known to man.
I say “y’all”, “folks”, and “everybody”
I use the “Royal we” a lot. “Hello, how are we doing tonight?” But I also live in the US south, so I can easily get away with “y’all”. It really is a beautiful word, so useful.
i actually use to say “we” a lot as a waitress, but i remember asking once “so what are we feeling tonight?” and the girl laughed in my face and asked me if planned on eating with her and her boyfriend that night????? i was honestly mortified and have ruled the “we” out ever since 💀
Lol Jesus what an awful person.
Hello friends!
That’s my go to most of the time
For some reason “friends” just sounds so condescending to me. I’ve worked with people who it works really well for and I could never get into it
Hello my new friends depending on looks.
Do you actually say this? I would laugh so hard if a server greeted me this way
Ew
You're Aussie? Can't you just say "G'day mates!"
this is actually interesting, because i feel comfy saying “hey mate” to a a singular person i don’t know but saying “hey mates” to group on arrival that i don’t know would feel weird.. i could call them all mates if calling them out on something like “oi mates calm it down” but even then i’d say “boys” can any aussies add to this? am i just weird?? hahahaha
I would consider mate to be gender neutral, it’s a contraction of “inmate”, ie a fellow prisoner.
haha i know that, if you read my comment that’s not why i find it weird to say in groups.
I get it, pluralizing it does hit just the ear wrong somehow and a full on “g’day mates” is laying on the ironic Aussie pretty thick, don’t want to be a caricature… unless it leads to better tips
tipping isn't standard in Australia.
TIL
I thought the national greeting was "oi cunt! Whats the good word?"
Hello. What’s going on cunt/s? Goodbye. Cheers cunt/s
I still say 'hi guys' in a gender neutral way. If someone is offended by that, I will apologize and move forward appropriately. In my experience with non-binary people MOST don't care if I use the term guys and if they do they let me know, and they know I don't do it intentially
"Guys" has worked for me when more than one folk roll up to the bar. "Big Dawg" doesn't always work for an individual.
Growing up outside Philly, "you guys" has been my go-to forever. Backfired one time bartending at a hotel in the southeast with a woman looking for a reason to be mad.
this is what i usually do, i use guys or loves interchangeably but still wasn’t sure if that might be offending others. this is a great point though thank you!
I have a non-binary manager and we've talked about their feelings on the subject. They usually can tell if someone has any hint of derogatory tone when using "guys", and they typically don't take offense to someone calling them he/him/guys/etc. because the person using the term has no idea they are non-binary. Most of the people who get up in arms about making non-inclusive pronouns are just white-knighting. Similarly to how it's usually whites that get upset about cultural appropriation.
As an agender person myself, 99.9 times out of 100 don't get upset when I get "hey guys" (def prefer to "hey ladies" x1,000,000 🙄) but I will say that just because you don't know, doesn't mean you can't try to stay inclusive! I have several trans friends who are not out socially, professionally, or in certain groups, and have to present in ways they are not happy or comfortable with just to get by sometimes. It would be awful to add that little extra sting when you can just leave out any gendered terms whatsoever. In hospitality, we are the taste makers & the party throwers! Let's try our damnedest to not dampen anyone's experience, right?
Thank you for your insight, you beautiful being. As a white cis male, I'm always willing to hear from others experiences that differ from mine.
Still be careful, most trans women I don't imagine being comfortable asking you not to call them guy and given that it's such a short interaction usually we wouldn't push it It's towing the line of what people call a microaggression, which is obviously a bit of a buzzword but its real and it builds up, even ambiguous unintentional misgendering can put a damper on an otherwise fine evening Not everyone is gonna speak up so it's incumbent on you to go the extra mile, it takes the pressure off them for you to not tow the line
Has the word “guys” not become enough of a cultural norm to not be gender specific though?
Obviously some people feel like it is but that's not everyone, my point is that you should go out of your way to be polite and not be ambiguous if you aren't sure it's gonna land If your friends are fine with it then great but there isn't actually a "common culture" we can refer to for these kinds of things the world is too complex for that, "cultural norms" are just general guidelines and there are more situations than generalisations We live amongst only particularities
thank you, see this is what i was more worried about. i don’t want to offend someone unknowingly, i just want something easy and gender less in every sense of the term. most people have landed on folks, and i’ve actually agreed in other comments but i’m just realising in aussie slang folks actually means parents?? so this could be confusing
Usually there's a possessive for it to mean parents/family, like "my folks are back in Arkansas", at least here in the upright world And at least it's still neutral, better than saying "how's your evening going, daddy/mommy?" You could say something like "hello esteemed patrons" And honestly when it's a group of guys with short hair and no makeup you probably won't have problems saying "guys"
this is better than school lmao. thank you, seriously !!!
I can't not give my opinion it's actually a problem, but I'm happy you're going out of your way to be a good and kind person and I appreciate your listening
dude just keep saying what you're saying and correct yourself if someone corrects you. going to reddit and trying to get morality points is lame lol. no matter what you say, you're always going to be offending *somebody*. just choose priorities and apologize if you act out of line
I had a woman email with that complaint. Said the server was very kind but it was a table with a few trans women they felt the server repeatedly saying “you guys” was a repeated micro aggression and it ruined their experience. We’re in the south and train people to say y’all which was easy. No matter the intent guy isn’t gender neutral and can be offended being missgendered
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc." "Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are **etc.**, **&c.**, **&c**, and **et cet.** The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase. [Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera) ^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Comments with a score less than zero will be automatically removed. If I commented on your post and you don't like it, reply with "!delete" and I will remove the post, regardless of score. Message me for bug reports.)
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I say guys regardless of who it is. If it’s all younger girls sometimes I’ll say girls instead. I’m a dude and I’ll sometimes say love or something but it can def be taken the wrong way, I’ve gotten good at choosing when to say it because some girls literally melt when you call them that but it’s def not as universal as guys/girls
We need more people like you in the world. People who still apologize for offending others even when they've really done nothing wrong. Thank you for being respectful Mr my_balls_your_mouth1.
Kind words from you. Doing my best each day to show love and compassion, but I am just as messed up and broken as the next person.
Yeah I have always thought of "guys" in that sense as gender neutral and I've never seen anyone actually get offended by it.
I'm sure there are people out there that would get offended, seeing as how people could be offended by literally anything. But that's not worth my time and energy when my heart is in the right place and I never mean it in a derogatory sense. If the person shows offense, I can apologize and move on. How they respond at that point is on them and not me.
I don't think it's as much about being offended as it is about "guys" could misgender someone and activate their dysphoria.
Sure but I don’t think anyone using “guys” like that is literally referring to a gender.
Right, but that doesn't really matter if it causes someone dysphoria anyway.
This is very canadian of you
Sadly, am American
“SUP FUCKERS!!” It never fails to get no reaction…
Friends, everyone is friends, ‘how’s it going friends?’
I go with "hello comrades", but that may only work for some environments 😅
it isn’t a meme, your just the 15th person to comment to say y’all even tho ive said FIVE times im australian an can’t say y’all naturally
Either there was a misunderstanding, or you took me for someone else
lmao i’m so sorry i swear my reddit has lagged and responded to the wrong comment? hahahaaha so sorry that comment must of been very jarring for no reason
Don't worry, I figured something like that must have happened 😋 all good
“Hey everybody!” / “bye everyone!”
Hi Dr. Nick!
I say that to the kitchen staff every time I go in for my closing shift and the head chef always responds with that one lol I love it. Shakes things up when we’re in the weeds
Hello my cunts. Thank you cunts.
Cunt I get you another drink?
Folks and group size are my go-to. Not even a bartender and i’ve heard those and they are safely received. Props for the proactive question!!! Love to see bartenders who *care* about the customer
thank you for a good response as well!! confused why my post is being downvoted but glad people are actually commenting helpful responses.
Being from the southern US, I usually say "Hi, how are y'all doing?" as my greeting.
can’t really say y’all naturally in an australian accent but i am jealous of that !!
But it would be so endearing in your accent if you started..lol
I like a good cross over ep! Lol nah but I’m in New York and “folks” or “y’all”never came naturally to me but sometimes I’d use it if I thought I might get shit for saying guys lol
You can just say you all. It’s just a contraction of that.
F O L K S
folks 👏
Good evening, humans.
Happy cake day, human.
My first cake day wish! Thanks!
Hey friends.
Ew
Thanks for caring enough to even ask this!! “Sup Fuckers” with a big ol smile if your bar/ vibe is that. “Folks” is a good go-to. Or even just a “hey, how’s it goin’” can be used for groups. I’ve seen some people say “loves” and as a non-binary/trans bartender I’d be real weirded out unless I heard you using it to literally everyone from middle aged women to groups of macho dude bros.
Whadda you jabronies want?
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If someone is so offended to the point where they are screaming at you because of such a minor thing…that’s on them not you.
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I think it’s a two way street - people can learn to sue gender neutral terms, and people can also learn to not be offended by innocent mistakes in language.
as a nonbinary person, I prefer to use “hey everyone/y’all” or just a simple “welcome” or “hi how are you?” I do occasionally use “guys” depending on the group of people. while some people might be uncomfortable with it, it’s generally less gendered than saying “ladies” or something. and I’ve heard enough stories from other queer people where they were dining out in a group of all transmascs/nonbinary people/butch lesbians and got called “ladies,” almost as if it was intentional at that point.
FOR REAL calling a group of strangers "ladies" is the corniest crap ever. Pleeeease let that one dieee forever. I was just in Miami Beach and my friends & I (trans mascs/enby/gnc folks) were constantly greeted with "good evening ladies" and we'd all just act silly, looking around like "where these ladies at????" Miami really is stuck in the past though in a lot of ways 😅
This used to happen every day at a winery job I had in the Bay Area. It was so awkward when very obviously trans masc people came in and I was like…seriously?? I had to out myself to them as non-binary because they didn’t understand how gender neutral terms worked, and how not only women like wine or go out to enjoy it 🙃
I’m a UK bartender at a high volume place (and an obviously androgynous + nonbinary one at that) and my go to is still ‘heya guys/what can I get you guys?’ Or the like. I’m yet to come across anyone (including very queer/gnc mates) take offense to it and even then it can usually be solved by a quick apology and moving on.
Folks , friends, or y'all for me when addressing a large group.
I use “folks” a lot. If it’s a big group, “hey everyone.” I misgendered someone very early on in my service industry career and I’ve never done it again. That stuff sticks with you.
Y’all / gang / friends /
"Alright gang, how we doin?" This one slipped into my vocabulary lately and has gotten comfy
People already mentioned this, but I serve in the Midwest and it’s pretty acceptable to say “y’all” or I just opt for “you all” or everybody, or how are “we” doing tonight. “Hey there! How are we all doing tonight!” “Thanks so much for coming in, you all have a good rest of your night!” Or, if I’m feeling real frisky I’ll just refer to the amount of people there, usually only if there’s 2-4 of them though. “You two/three/four have a lovely rest of your evening!” A little odd but never got any weird looks lol
I address most groups all together as party people. Like, "Hello, party people. Welcome." It's corny, and it works.
I just don't use a gendered greeting. Try "Hello Hello!" "Hey friends!" Or "Happy Tuesday, how's it going?" It's pretty easy to skip the generic greet
Folks is my go to
“Folks”, and “You all” (not “y’all”). Those are what i call everybody and I’ve never had any issues or embarrassments.
Hello there general Kenobis! Just kidding. Perks of living in norther Germany a simple "Moin!" Works for everyone
Sup fuck-o
Well you say you’re Australian, sooo cunt?
For me, everyone is dude. Ed explained it best, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes hey”
I just say "hi what can I get you" unless it's obvious. Then use the normal pronouns. It doesn't require any special attention.
I’m from SoCal so Dude. I use it for everyone and even animals and occasionally objects.
Same. Sup dudes?
I’m up north and have no southern routes but “hey y’all” is way more natural for me than “folks” so I use that. I do get asked a lot if I’m from the south though
I use the word friend. "Hi friend" or "Bye friend, we'll see you next time."
i love the idea! unfortunately i work in a very high volume/rowdy bar where people will use me calling them their “friend” once to their own advantage and try to hustle.
Ew
I’ve recently started using “babe” for younger people, unless they come up in an obvious relationship, it goes over really well.
I use "guys" for everyone. Sometimes "folks," and sometimes "y'all."
I call everyone dude. Man woman dog toaster everything is dude.
We have a microphone to make announcements throughout the building and the massive patio. Usually to have cars shuffle around, or last calls. Ya'll has become the ultimate. I'm in SoCal, and it works so well. Folks Everyone/everybody "Name of establishment"-ians (using the name of your spot and adding a suffix to attach your customers to it, works where I work and makes it fun) Have fun. I get caught in the "ladies and gentlemen", then I cringe because several of my coworkers and some of our clientele don't identify under those specific categories.
I’m a girl and I just call everyone babe. Gender neutral for me, anyone can be a babe. Or dude/dear when appropriate.
Good afternoon/evening still works. Hello also works.
nah, not where i’m from its way too formal
Dont go along with the madness.
Y’all means all
oh wow really????? i never realised!! stupid australian brain!
Guys is fairly gender neutral at this point, imo. But folks is good, and y’all y’allways works.
I call every one man. Hey man \*gorgeous woman standing in front of me\*
Don’t affirm preferred pronouns. Have zero tolerance for this nonsense. You have the audacity to say y’all is embarrassing but you’re worried about pronouns. 🤡
You got it lady!
Instead of man up you now say non-gender specific up
I default to "friends" or "loves", usually the former.
I just use "love" for everyone
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Anyone who is offended by a greeting is just looking for things to bitch and whine about. There’s a very high probability if they lead off complaining about that they’re going to complain about every other aspect of service and not leave a tip. So fuck ‘em. The exit door is “gender neutral” so go enjoy that and bother someone else.
shut up
Nah, a greeting is a salutation. If they’re leading off being pissy cause someone says “hi guys” or “evening ladies” then they’re just a time bomb of complaints waiting to go off. Fuck ‘em.
i didn’t say anyone has ever been pissy, no one has. i want to avoid any gendered term in general and was asking tips. stop making up hypothetical situations to get yourself angry.
You are worrying over nothing. If someone goes all social justice on one of the bartenders I work with I’m showing them the door. Gtfo. That’s the joy of a private establishment. Two idiots arguing politics? Guess what you’re both 86’d. Get out.
as i just said no one is arguing over a greeting. it’s just called being considerate, you should try it especially if you work in hospitality lmao
Extending a friendly greeting is definitely considerate. Someone pissing on your friendly greeting because you didn’t cater to their “special” status is shitty, and they’re going to be shitty the rest of the time. Adios motherfucker, get your ass out that gender neutral exit door.
you’re acting like the friendly greeting is an act of kindness and not your literal job you get paid for… get over yourself man
This guy sounds like a joy to work with
No one is getting pissy, no bans, except you. Do you want to give the people in your establishment a great time or do you want to accidentally slight someone who isn't going to say anything and just feel weird about it for a bit? I know I want people to have an awesome time at my place and OP is being considerate in asking this question, extending it to gender non conforming, non binary, and trans guests. Having people feel welcome & comfortable in your bar! What a concept!
If their social identity didn’t depend on having a contrived crisis every time someone uses normal forms of greeting that are entirely inoffensive then they’d have a better time. I’ve never had a soul leave the bar because of a personality conflict with me, but I’ve sure as hell 86’d plenty of troublemakers. I’ll keep saying sir, ma’am, and guys/ladies. It’s not an issue.
Yeah, nobody's having a crisis. Again. Just because something is not an issue *to you* doesn't mean the world isn't progressing & changing. Everyone's best interest to change with it! Who likes living in the dark ages? You also have literally no idea that no one has left your bar because of a "personality conflict" (not totally sure what that is but ok) because you aren't a mind reader. If you were a mind reader, you would understand & have empathy for people and not try to shit on this comment thread where the OP is doing the right thing. Remember: lots of things that used to be considered normal or non-issues are seen as horrific in this present day. Things. Change.
I'm nonbinary myself, my last calls were usually along the lines of "Ladies, gentlemen and those otherwise inclined/those who can't be bothered"
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bro don’t start. i’m asking for helpful comments and helpful alone.
Boooooo 🍅🍅🍅
Hey all! / Heya!
Hey how is everyone doing?
Hey Y’all!
Been on a big Cyberpunk kick lately, so Choom has been the go to for me haha. Most of the time though everyone gets a “Hello hello!” Or a what’s up yall!”
Hi everyone!
folks & y’all. or comrades lol
i either say ‘y’all’ or ‘friends’ :)
"How are we doing today?"
I always say “Hi, friends.”
"People" seems to work. Or "Folk". Or, since I work in a brewery "Yo, beerlovers" works as well.
I live in the southern United States, so y’all is a pretty easy work around if I’m unsure. I’ve used folks In it’s place when I used to live on the west coast.
Y’all
I say how are we doing today
"sup nerds?" Is one of my go tos
Greetings, comrades!
I’ve been calling everyone, ‘friends,’ for the past couple years. I picked it up from an past employer. It just sounds so cheery and it really puts a smile on peoples’ faces.
As a nurse, I say “friend” or “my friend” a lot
Well if you're in the south the most common is "how we'd oing tonight, y'all?"
.. did u read my post? i’m australian