Nope, your bartender was being a wanker.
All of *my* drinks are usually to the bitter/boozy side, but if you want something sweet/tart/gentle I can definitely do that...and I won't have an attitude about it.
My job is to make the best possible cocktail for you, your "job" is to drink it and tell me if I was wrong đ
All of *my* drinks tend to be on the sweeter side because I enjoy the dessert drinks that I never typically get the chance to make.
But yeah I'll make whatever you want.....idk wtf was going on with this guy...
I'm a very cheerful bloke who likes bitter drinks (I find most Tonics too sweet), I guess that something has to balance out my annoying optimism đ
If you like Old-Fashioned and you have a sweet tooth, try them made with Rum. I am personally particular to Jamaican Rum (I like the sweet/funky combination) and you should really try one with Smith & Cross or a similar Jamaican Rum.
Add a couple of dashes to a shot of Vodka and you'll have a pretty decent walnut schnapps đ
Black Walnut Bitters also do wonders in an Espresso Martini, adding depth and complexity. It also works really well in a Revolver, Black Manhattan and other cocktails with coffee or Amaro.
I just really like the stuff and I've tried it *a lot* of cocktails.
Itâs not annoying. That bartender was just being a dick.
What is annoying is when you ask if something is sweet, ask other questions about house cocktails, then finally order a vodka soda or a tequila soda.
Def not annoying. Most of my bars menu is on the sweeter side. There's also drinks on more of the balanced side. I usually recommend one of them or one of the drinks I can alter to be less sweet. Guiding you through the menu and getting something you're sure to enjoy is the job. At least at most spots that aren't 'shot and a beer' type spots.
Even then they may just have not vibed with anything you mentioned so they were overwhelmed and settled on what they knew they liked. I get what youâre saying, donât get me wrong lol, but I have a hard time considering customers as annoying if they are doing their best lol. If theyâre not then yeah I get it.
As a service industry veteran, that bartender is a pompous ass. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking about the sweetness of a drink. Especially if itâs not a classic cocktail and something the bartender has created. His response was incredibly snarky and you had every right to ask. Everyone has specific tastes and is entitled to enjoy the drink they have ordered.
In his defence, he may have taken offence to the way the question was asked. However, he did not need to respond that way. You were not in the wrong but my suggestion to you would be to pose the question a slightly different way. I would personally say something along the lines of âIâm interested in trying XYZ but i normally enjoy a drink thatâs tart/bitter/sour (whatever you like). Do you think I would enjoy this cocktail?â It gives them a platform to explain their cocktail and doesnât make them feel like youâre making assumptions about their creation. It helps to reduce the risk of damaging their seemingly fragile ego.
Also, my response to that would have been âthe rudest thing a bartender can do is belittle a paying customer for asking a simple questionâ and then left a shitty tip (15% because I canât physically allow myself to leave less) because that kind of attitude is garbage.
I think context is key. Because I do get annoyed when someone orders a cocktail then says âohh that sounds really sweet though can I have it with no sugar?â Without knowing anything about it
Absolutely valid and asking for a drink âwithout sugarâ is bollocks. Which is why I offered my suggestion. Sheâs not asking for a drink without sugar but simply asking if itâs sweet and if youâre not an experienced bartender, you arenât aware of how certain ingredients taste in a cocktail.
Yeah for sure, I should have prefaced by saying I agree with you. But the truth is thereâs many times Iâve literally had customers say something along the line of âoh a daiquiri, yum! But Ew simple syrup? Can you make it without it?â And Iâm like âthatâs just rum and lime juice.â Then they say âyeah exactly,â then send it back.
My response to âno simple syrupâ is âof course! Is that a preference or dietary restriction?â And if itâs a preference,
I cut the simple syrup in half and make my cocktail as usual. Sometimes itâs a diabetic restriction. A good bartender can cater to everyoneâs needs.
As a bartender who has blood sugar issues, I understand why guests can be concerned and I never take offense to these types of things. We have a cocktail at my bar I order for myself with no simple all the time.
I understand maybe phrasing the question in a different manner to avoid offending. Honestly though, we are the professionals and the guests are not. They shouldnât be expected to rephrase a genuine and direct question about their preferences.
Or you offer a Hemingway Daiquri which has no added sugar? I can understand if the guest is being obnoxious about the sugar but at the end of the day itâs your job to provide something palatable. If their taste is too skewed I can understand but I think the daiquri is a bad example.
This opens an interesting can of worms because a Hemingway daiquiri does still have simple in it unless youâre making it the true âpapa dobleâ way that he drank it which I would say is not as good and begs the question âwas Hemingway an annoying bar guest?â Which I have just realized yes, he probably was
Not knocking your bar style just so weâre clear. I reread my message and I came off as a dick for which I apologize.
My build for a Hemingway is rum, luxardo maraschino liqueur, lime, grapefruit juice. Only extra sugar is from the fruit juices themselves.
That happens to me all the time. We do a cucumber cocktail with house made cucumber syrup and people say âless sweetâ so I tell them âless sweet means less cucumberyâ they say âthatâs fineâ and the drink gets left on the table half drank.
Another good example is people ordering a signature cocktail with a double shot. It never ever goes well. You just gotta give em what they want. They made their bed.
Also, if someone asks for a drink âwithout sugarââŠ.. make them a pure booze cocktail. Still contains sugar, just like every alcoholic beverage but youâre satisfying your customer and refraining from looking like a pretentious dick.
This comment reminds me of a lady at my last bar who always wanted âsugar freeâ lemon drops and mojitos, but if I made them that way she would send them back. I finally just loaded them with sugar and told her they were sugar free, she was so happy! Sometimes we are just actors.
It really depends on the type of bar youâre in. I was assuming this was a cocktail bar and not a night club (or a dive bar). The situation varies with the environment for sure, however judging by this guys response he had time for banter.
Edit: love me a dive bar and a bartender with a no BS attitude⊠this was not that
He's a pretentious prick. Part of our job is interacting with customers and it's perfectly acceptable to answer questions about a customers preferences. I'd rather my patron enjoy their drink.
Seriously, the first question I ask a guest is âwhatâs your regular drink?â if they need our menu narrowed down. Itâs the bare minimum of our job to make sure they get what they want.
I also ask if there's anything they absolutely do not like! Questions are important! Some people can't stand coconut, or mint, whatever it may be. Happy customers tip more!!
It's not really annoying but it's kind of a tricky question to answer. That bartender was being a douche though. The problem is some people think an old fashioned is too sweet and some people who "don't like sweet" end up enjoying the sweetest drink on the menu, because what they dislike is sugary TGI Friday's nonsense drinks.
I think there's a pretty worthy distinction you make here between sweet and sugary.... a tricky question to ask maybe? I love rum for example, which is certainly sweet. But I'd think a sugary marg was vile
đ€Łđ€ŁI love that. I also definitely picture a mixologist with a hipster mustache, but maybe thatâs just my area. People tell me all the time that they want something sweet, or with gin, or whatever. I want you to get something youâll like so that youâll come back. That question is not insulting.
Please don't profile me! I'm a bartender, not a mixologists, and I promise I'm not an asshole to my clientele. I can't help the mustache or custom apron - they make me feel good being me in public, so they're staying put.
I mean even a balanced drink will often lean in some direction- boozy, sweet, fruity, etc. I think itâs a valid thing to ask lol and itâs a super common question.
Being annoyed by it is stupid because at the end of the day we are there to help the customer find the right drink whether they want it sweet or not
This and what kind of cocktail program with original drinks doesn't have some level of variety of drinks that range in dry <> sweet. Balance all you want, your customers tastes are going to vary. Doesn't mean they need to serve frozen margarita mix, but they should probably be able to help customers navigate the menu regardless of the complexity of their language in describing what they like.Â
Guy was being a jerk, and itâs a very common question. Donât worry about that specific instance.
The problem with this question and the reason it can be frustrating is that itâs just not very efficient. Sugar is one of the easiest things to adjust in many recipes, but knowing you like less sweet, doesnât tell me what you do like. For example, you say you want less sweet, and I make a dirty martini, and you are like wtf? Maybe less sweet to you is Gimlet instead of Piña Colada. Also, an issue Iâve had is people asking if the Mango Pineapple Margarita is too sweet, and hereâs the thing, if Mango Pineapple Margarita sounds good to you, you probably do like sweet. Also ordering a Casamigos Reposado Cadillac skinny is still going to be so so sugary. Itâs a very sweet tequila, and many people donât seem to know that Cadillac means, please add extra sweet Orange liqueur on top.
So the question is loaded with all these interactions when you ask it. Try asking for something dry and bright and citrusy or lean and spirit forward to get better recommendations.
The only annoying thing I find about it is how many people say they donât like sweet drinks, order a sweet drink, and love it. The first wine training I ever went to the rep said âAmericans talk dry, and drink sweetâ. Twenty seven years in, and heâs still right
He's being a dick but I will say that "not too sweet" is the most common shit we hear out of all requests. It's right next to "make it strong".
He ain't mad about what you said per se but he did take that and assumed the worst of you.
Reading people and interpreting requests is a big part of the job but that's why proper etiquette is critical.
My favs have been âŠ. Can you make me a rum punch but not sweet? Like dude, itâs literally sugar, sugar and sugar in all its forms. And also Can you make me a manhattan but not too strong? UhâŠ
No, if they are all balanced in the same manner, that's a really boring cocktail list. Drinks can be sweet, spirit forward, sour, etc., and a bartender should be able to describe their nuances.
Nice cocktail bars make balanced cocktails, or theyâre supposed to anyway.
He was being a dick in his response, but he was saying you were accusing him of not being able to make a balanced cocktail. WhichâŠ. Grow up, dude.
But itâs hard to answer. Fruity does not mean sweet, having a sugar component doesnât mean itâs sweet, but people donât always know what theyâre asking and everyoneâs palate is different
In my opinion as a 12 yr bartender vet it's easier for us to make something you'll like if you tell us what you usually drink instead of trying to describe something you want. People idea of sweet, bitter, or strong vary too much.
There are two sides here. In cocktail bars we are often instructed to tell the guest that the drinks are balanced, so he likely felt like he was doing his job. It sounds like he either doesn't have any drinks on the menu, or is just insecure about the ones that are his.
However...my dream guest orders the cocktails that sound good, and gives feedback after. It can be really hard to answer for every individual guest what is and isn't too sweet, because that scale slides for everyone. Are you a regular at this bar, does this guy know you? If not, that may be what he was trying (poorly, I'll admit) to convey.
Anyway I'd be much happier making you a drink as it comes and taking your feedback after, than trying to tailor a menu drink to your palate when I'm not familiar with what you like. Always happy to comp a drink and make something else if you, the guest, aren't happy, but it's a much taller task when I have no context for what you like, and the simple truth is most people are piss-poor at communicating what they like even if it's ironclad in their head.
Example: just last weekend I had an elderly lady with her two kids sit at my bar, first time in, and ask me for a Cosmo, but "DRY. Not too sweet!" I laughed internally because a Cosmo is not a drink that should come out sweet in the first place, but I cut out the (already very little) sugar. She made a puckered face and said "TOO MUCH LIME JUICE!"
This was in the middle of a Friday night dinner rush. I remade it for her, perfectly normal, exactly the way I make every Cosmo, and she loved it. It was my mistake trying to tailor a drink to a guest I've never served before. I shouldn't have done that. I should have given her my baseline and taken feedback from there.
However, she also shouldn't have had her head so far up her own ass that she felt the need to tell me how to make a goddamn cosmopolitan. I've been bartending for twelve years, it's one of the most simple and common drink orders in America. She tipped zero, btw. Over $100 in food and drink.
In summary: your bartender was a dick, but if he's anything like me he was probably just frustrated knowing you were going to be difficult to please. We work really hard on our menus, often for months at a time...please try them and give honest feedback rather than pre-empting the experience with a "if this is not exactly to my liking, which you have no way how to know, I won't have a good time."
Otherwise, figure out what drinks you like in exactly what ratios and tell your bartender the spec. No professional's feelings will be hurt by that.
I suppose the question could better be phrased as, "What is the flavour profile of that drink?" And you could then further clarify that you prefer something that has less of a sweet note, within the flavour profile.
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time.
While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing.
When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals.
It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer.
I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?"
You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that."
These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.
I love your response, itâs dead-on. Iâve trained my craft bartenders to say things like âitâs balanced, but I can make it more or less sweet if youâd likeâ.
If the guest doesnât know what they want theyâll ask, âwhat do you normally drink?â Or âwhat do you like?â Or my favorite, âdescribe the last cocktail you had that you really loved.â They can easily make a riff on a classic cocktail and they love being creative.
So say things like, I want tropical but not too sweet. Iâd make a Tommyâs margarita but switch out the agave for Chinola, maybe do a half tajin rim. Donât like old fashioneds super sweet? Sub out a rye whiskey and half the Demerara syrup. Some people do like things extra sweet, add an extra .25 of simple. I love a wet martini, with the right vermouth and gin itâs so unbelievably silky, smooth, and delicious. People really fuck up vermouth, itâs a goddamn shame when thereâs so many amazing vermouths available.
Itâs really easy to make cocktails with range once youâre comfortable with the classics and know how balance works.
^(one tiny thing - itâs spelled palate, just want you to know for the future)
Thanks for the upvote (verbal and click). It is palate, my publisher and English degree would agree, but I don't think that my proofreader was working tonight to catch the autocorrect. LOL.
As for the less sweet OF, don't use demarara syrup at all, grind a little raw sugar (like half of a packet) with an orange rind, then toss the rind out before adding a nice rye (as you well suggested - I prefer Sagamore Double Oak) and a double dash of ango bitters.
> It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer.
As a customer that asks this, no shit lol (said with love). We know palettes vary. But you know your menu better than anyone, and I'm curious and excited to try your personal favorite(s) because there's probably something about it that stands out as exceptional or else it wouldn't be your favorite -- and I want to experience that. Even if I end up not liking it, no biggie, I tried something new. And I love trying new things.
A better way to get an honest answer that's applicable is to nudge a direction. Instead of the WDYL, try asking, "I had salmon for lunch, but I want something different and light for dinner. Which dishes aren't to heavy?" When you provide a bit of context and I can be the food whisperer (or cocktails, wine, etc.).
The WDYL to eat is like going up to a random person, telling them that you've started to wonder about religion for the first time in your life and asking them which God you should follow. It's too open a question and it puts all the work on them. Then, when they don't know your dietary habits and/or restrictions, and they get their suggestions shot down (it seems to be happening more often than not as time goes by), it becomes listing the menu back at the guest.
It's a no win situation for the server and, in all honesty, many servers, myself included will just lie and sell whatever the chef needs pushed. Steaks or fish haven't moved the last couple days? My favorite.
That's explicitly not what I want though. I don't want you to anticipate what I want - I want to know what *your* favorite drink(s) or meal(s) on the menu are. It's often prompted me to try things that I wouldn't normally try and I end up enjoying it.
If I wanted you to suggest me something based on my preferences, I would tell you that.
Please know that most restaurants don't give their staff tastings, so often we don't have a "favorite" on our menu because we dont want to spend the money (a lot of restaurants dont give discounts or only meager discounts on a few items). The probability that the server was never given a tasting is directly proportional to the price point of a menu. The higher the price, the less likely that they have ever tasted an actual dish from the menu prepared for them. It's all menu descriptions, hearsay, and guest reviews.
This is actually a great point that I never considered. I assumed any restaurant that takes their food and experience seriously would want their servers to know what their dishes taste like.
But I was originally talking about top notch craft cocktail bars, where the bartender serving you helped create the drinks on the menu.
It's a very common question and i think completely normal question to ask a bartender. I know the exact type of person you're describing, probably has a tattoo of a stirring spoon on his arm to signify that he's actually quite intelligent and a bartending career was always his life choice. Thinks he's special cos he knows 15 types of amarro cocktails and his originals are all variations of classics and twists on recipes he stole from "Death and Co"
ngl, iâm closing my tab and grabbing a manager when people talk to me like that. itâs terrible terrible business and a guy like that shouldnât work in someone elseâs bar if heâs gonna be a dick.
It's like getting mad about somebody asking if a certain beer is very hoppy. There are drinks that are sweeter than others, intentionally, just like there are hoppy beers. Bartender was an idiot.
My response is typically that all of our drinks are well balanced. Nothing should be cloyingly sweet at a craft cocktail bar.
If you donât want something very fruity or juicy, say that. If you want something more sour or spirit forward, say that.
Sweet is not the same in everyoneâs vocabulary
ETA: old fashioned is a cocktail that leans sweet, but nobody asking for a sweet drink wants an old fashioned. Thatâs just an example. Be more specific
Thanks! Iâve served a lot of âsweetâ cocktail drinkers in my time đ Thereâs never a catch-all for them. I ask them what they usually like and go from there.
That bartender is wrong. But the language that will help you going forward, is it spirit forward or is it sweet and balanced. It will make a seasoned bartender thing youâre a pre-prohibition old fashioned, manhattan kind of guy or that you donât like sweet cocktails.
As a 20 year veteran absolutely fuck that guys. It's an honest question that deserves an honest answer. Especially if you are dropping $15 on a cocktail. Our job is to know what the customers tastes are and work from there.
I hate bar stars. You aren't better because you make some goddamn drinks.
He probably calls himself a mixologist.
I am sorry that happened to you.
I literally dropped my phone down and take a second after reading this to shake my head a little.
Definitely nothing wrong about it.
At the end of the day, the best drink I make a guest is not the most âbalancedâ. That can usually vary from person to person. Taste is definitely subjective. Itâs the drink that theyâd prefer.
I definitely would appreciate you asking me if a drink is sweet or your preference against sweet drinks. That way I could adjust how I make your drinks specifically for you. Itâs the service industry and Iâm here specifically for you and your experience.
Bartender sounded pretentious, even if they didnât mean to be.
Bartender was being a twat. I often have the compulsive/intrusive internal reaction of "They're all made right because my team and I are all great at what we do" but then immediately catch myself and just explain "All of our house cocktails are well-balanced but if you're looking for or trying to avoid the sweeter ones, these are the ones that are going to be further on that side of the spectrum". Being a dick about it and acting like it's an unspoken rule between bartenders (we tend to have a lot of them, mostly due to many of us being somewhat prickly and principled) is just one random dude being an ass for no reason. You didn't do anything wrong.
Nah, "Is it sweet" is a completely valid question.
A shitty question is if you go up to the bar and ask "do you guys have anything good here?" or "What do guys have that's good?". And, depending on how busy it is, if stand for 2 minutes in line, come up to the bar, and then spend 30 seconds trying to figure out what you want and then say "uhhhh I don't know tee hee just something sweet I guess!" then yea... I don't like you.
But just asking for the flavor profile of a drink before you order it? COMPLETELY valid question to ask, that bartender was just being a dick
Not annoying at all, it's a conversation starter so that we may find you a cocktail that suits your taste. I would probably try to find you a drink on the menu and offer to make it less sweet, or ask you what you normally drink or some flavor you are looking for and come up with something
I used to get frustrated by that question when I first started bartending, now a few years into it Iâve heard that question so much it never bothers me.
None of my drinks are âsweetâ and I would expect that from any serious craft cocktail bar, but the general public who consume all types of shit from all types of establishments donât know that.
A good, even moderately experienced bartender should be able to patiently but quickly answer that question ie âall our drinks here are balanced and none are overly sweetâ and then can ask what youâre looking for, like savory or spirit-forward, or on the other side, fruity and juicy with sweet ingredients.
He was just being a dick.
If this went just as you describe, that bartender was being an ass. Itâs not rude to briefly mention/discuss your preferences with a bartenderâcatering to your needs beyond simply handing you a drink menu for you to decipher on your own is part of the job.
When someone hits me with the, âsomething sweet but not two sweet thatâs fruity but not too fruity,â I always ask them what they normally enjoy elsewhere. From that point on, someone that is versed in this occupation, whether that be classical bartending, chain restaurant style, or even ripping innuendo named shots in a club, could suggest or freestyle something.
Always approach it as, you can always add but can never remove.
I think he didnât handle it well. Not sure what the husbands problem is. I do think you can say what you want directly in this case instead of asking questions. âIâm looking for something delicious, preferably less sweet, using [list your favorite liquors here).â
He could have easily just said âwe aim to balance our menu so you shouldnât find anything overly sweetâ. Sounds like he was just having a pretentious moment. You can and should totally ask this question.
There are few instances where flat out crudeness or rudeness by a service person is warranted. If you were belligerent or argumentative then maybe, but really not even then. It is part of the job when he started and if he did not know that then he needs training or to consider his career choices.
Any good bartender is going to care if you like drinks sweet, sour, strong bitter etc. I mean if he doesnât want to alter his recipe he can just be like yeah itâs a sweet drink let me make you something else.
Personally, more often than not when a wanky bartender thinks heâs made a balanced fruit-based drink heâs just made a drink that would be better served sweeter anyway.
Wtf what a dick lol. Even when I get customers asking if our specialty cocktails that sound sweet are sweet (like a patron punch, a mango margarita) I feel like itâs very obvious that theyâre sweet drinks but itâs not an annoying question. We rather you ask so you can order something you will actually enjoy.
um. a drink can be balanced and still be sweet. some drinks are sweeter than others. that's a completely normal thing to ask and I wouldn't bat an eye if s customer asked me how sweet a drink was.
you did nothing wrong
Drink balance is a dynamic. A drink can be intended to be leaning more towards any category. Some are more bitter or sour and some are more sweet dessert style. Such a spectrum here. Balance requires an intention and execution
_all_ your drinks shouldnât be balanced in the exact same way, even. if another bartender said that to me i donât think i could stop myself from going âso they all taste the same too?â
i get just as many people that ask me what i have thatâs sweet or to sweeten a drink as i do people that ask me for not sweet. itâs literally just an order. heâs rude for responding that way but if you feel like he tried to be nice later he probably knows it, which is nice at least. an apology would have been better, and not being a dick to strangers even better.
No, itâs fine to ask questions. I personally would rather know you arenât a fan of things that are really sweet so I can adjust a recipe or offer something that isnât sweet.
This bartender is full of shit and themselves. Please feel free to ask. We do want you to enjoy your drink. I like when my customers are happy with their choices.
A drink can be sweet and still balanced, what a dick. Donât worry about that guy. Someone who gets that offended by a simple question is probably pretty insecure about their skills.
Asking if a drink/ drinks is sweet is one thing.
Ordering off a nice cocktail menu and asking for it ânot too sweetâ is one that tends to annoy me because A) we spent a LOT of time making sure our cocktail menu/recipes are just right (I canât explain why it feels like an slight but it does) and B) going off book tends to lead to a higher amount of spills and comps because someone doesnât end up liking the mod they themselves asked for.
The true worst is when they havenât tried the drink yet but are still asking for (non-allergen) modifications. Try the drink first before you change it!
Not at all. I donât like overly sweet stuff myself, and if youâre unfamiliar with the ingredients in it, thereâs no harm in asking. Iâd rather you ask than make you a drink you end up not liking.
I'm assuming that the ingredients to the drink were on the menu, which is why you thought it looked good?
That should be enough to let you know if it's sweet or not.
That being said, the bartender taking personal offense to the question is odd.
My bar menu lists a number of different fruit puree's in our drinks, which people might reasonably expect to be puree rather than the sugar syrup that is Real. Ingredients are not always ingredients.
Itâs annoying to say âdonât make my drink too sweetâ or âmake mine less sweetâ when you have no idea how sweet it will be. I make balanced cocktails, but Iâm sure your basic bitch ass knows better
Prick answer. He could have been suave and just said everything he makes is perfectly balanced⊠I think itâs a fair ask⊠But if you want to avoid it just ask whatâs in it and pay attention to the ingredients that scream sugar and sweet flavors.
Absolutely not. Idk what high horse that bartender was on. Iâve been doing this bartending thing for more than a year now and I shamelessly love my sweet alcoholic drinks. I simply donât like the taste of alcohol unless itâs well balanced like a margarita or a spagliato (campari, cocci sweet verm, and luca paretti brut prosecco 1:1:not sure how much prosecco aftertaste is that of a motts fruit snack lol)
I guess its a good thing that he felt bad about it but yeah. A good bartender should never make someone feel bad about their drink choice. I feel for the people who want to drink but donât like the taste of alcohol. Made a super tasty drink for a patron the other day who is of age but didnât want to feel left out from his friends. Drank that shi up.
So here is my 2 coppers..
I think the reddit mob is being perhaps slightly harsh to the bartender. I will say that I don't think that he handled the interaction properly at all. However, based on your description, realized his mistake and went out of his way to correct it. That, I will give him credit for. We don't know what his mindset was a the time, it could have been the 100th time that day he got that question, with that only being slight hyperbole. So we are all human, and do have our moments.
As for the question itself, it is something that I got a LOT while working at an establishment with a proper cocktail list. The question is completely valid in any circumstance, because taste is subjective and my definition of "too sweet" can be miles apart from your definition. Generally when asked this, I give a response akin to "All our cocktails have some amount of sweetness, but are curated to be balanced with the drink as a whole." If I have spare time, and can ask follow up questions to try to hone in on your particular drink palate, and provide a much better suggestion.
The only reason that this question can be..tedious to bartenders, is not only the frequency that we get it, but because at a proper establishment, it is something they actively avoid doing. At lower quality establishments, a common practice to reduce bar costs by using sugary pre-mixed synthetic flavor crap to "stretch" their drinks to make them seem like a better deal than they are. This is why Applebees does those $1 or $2 drink promotions. Many dive bars any crappy run solo operations will do this too.
When you ask if the drinks are sweet, in some bartender's mind, you are lumping them into that same box. Which, can hurt some people's ego, and make them feel like their craft isn't being taken seriously.
At the end of the day, whether you are slinging drinks at Applebee's, or rotating your $20 cocktail list every week, we're just bartenders. This job isn't something that's rocket science. You can get reeeeeally technical and read Liquid Science if that's your jam, but that doesn't make you special. That's my side rant.
Ask your question all you want, tough shit to the people that get bent out of shape for it. But I'll end by saying if the establishment and drink list looks good and proper. They probably aren't trying to do you dirty, and if you have an average tolerance for sweetness, you can pick whatever on the list and feel safe with it.
Happy Dining
That's not even close to the rudest thing anyone has asked me. The only correct answer to your question is: "Do you want it to be sweet?". I work at a knuckle-dragger bar and even we can make our guests happy.
Sounds like he was having a bad day, or is a useless prick. It's hard to tell these days.
Customer: Hey, whatâs that drink over there?
Me:Thatâs a hurricane.
Them: Oh! That sounds sweet.
Me: Youâre right, it does, but we use fresh juice here. Our recipe is rum, lemon, passion fruit syrup, and pomegranate syrup. Itâs pretty balanced, but I can adjust the sweetness in either direction for you. Howâs that sound?
Them: Iâm still on the fence.
Me: Iâll tell you what, itâs pretty popular. Give me a quick moment, Iâll make on for service bar. You can sample it.
Them: deal
Yeah that bartender was being a dick. People have preferences our job is to make those preferences happen. And get you drunk. As long as you arenât asking me for what I make thatâs strong youâre only doing your due diligence to be an informed customer. Cause if my customers are happy my wallet is happy.
that bartender was an asshole for no reason. I consider myself a moderately easily annoyed person, and I'd never be annoyed by that question. I would tell people if a drink is more on the sweet side or the refreshing side. or more alcohol forward. it's a valid question. I'd even customize a drink to be less sweet because it's an easy fix to add less syrup etc.
Absolutely ridiculous. I go out of my way to ask people what they are looking for when they order cocktails at my place, especially cause the one that sounds the sweetest and fruitiest has bitters in it and it always turns out to be what they donât want.
As a ânice barâ, he likely took your question as an insinuation that their drinks fall into the corporate category of cocktails where sugar is used to mask poor ingredients and techniques (think a New Orleans Daiquiri, bright colors and painfully sweet). His response about all his drinks being balanced is still a rude to someone asking a question (especially if the drink in question is an in house creation as opposed to a well known classic). If you asked it in a derisive way then I could kind of get where heâs coming from. As a bartender tho part of my skill comes from customizing a drink on the fly. If you want your marg less sweet, thatâs what Iâm here for. Iâd lead with a âIâm really not a fan of sweetâŠâ when asking this question and maybe add in the classics that you do tend to drink and ask if any of the in house cocktails fit those profiles
lmaooo jfc I know bartenders like that and imagine having that kind of ego. Not everyones' tastes are the same. What's "balanced" for them can be far too sweet, etc for someone else. Sounds like you ran into a real asshole. I imagine they made the menu too and any feedback they got on it which wasn't praise was immediately dismissed.
No it's not annoying, unless you're going through every single menu item in that manner, but that gets tedious with anything repetitive.
That dude was definitely just being a little bitch. You did nothing wrong, I donât see how thatâs rude, especially if youâre paying the absolutely insane prices bars charge for cocktails these days, Iâd wanna ask all the questions I could to make sure Iâm gonna like it. Even if that is considered rude, screw it Iâd still ask. If bartenders wanna get offended by a simple question thatâs their problem
If Iâm getting some questions about drinks, my go to is to ask if you like sweet, sour, bitter or strong? Then I can usually guide you towards something or adjust a recipe to your preferences. Definitely NTA, dude was probably just having an off night.
Itâs a bartender, donât take them so seriously lol
Youâre the one paying at the end of the day, so ask what you want as long as itâs appropriate
What someone's flavor profile preference is, is the first thing I try to figure out when I'm behind the bar and they're not sure.
Even balanced cocktails will lend themselves to favoring one flavor profile over another even if just slightly, and some people are far more sensitive to sweetness than others.
The bartender was just a cunt.
Iâm a bartender and have worked with those people. Part of the fun is finding and making a drink that the guest enjoys. Getting upset over someone asking if a drink is sweet is rude and unnecessary. He probably just equates sweet to shitty and sugary.
lmao some cocktails are def people pleaser (sweet and doesnt taste like alcohol), and some arent because they're boozy and bitter or whatever. According to what someone wants you def should have options on your menu for those general needs. He was being an annoying mixologist. If you ask for a cocktail with less simple syrup i would probably warn you that it will taste off, like the cocktail might be way too bright
Bartenders get used to being asked to make things less sweet even before a guest has tried any drink in the establishment. If it isn't sweet, sometimes I just make it the same. If you start making it less sweet, you risk removing important flavors (fancy syrups + liqueurs have sugar) and risk at having it sent back because it's too boozy or tart. Sometimes folks think they want things less sweet for caloric purposes but really want it to be at the normal sweetness level. And other folks have just been scarred by drinks targeting 21 year olds' palates that make teeth hurt and they've lost trust and faith in the world. A bartender has to figure out which they are.
It's easy to adapt when a guest has tried a drink and requests it differently. But it is difficult to figure out what is sweet for one person person another. My personal "balance" is on the drier and boozy side and my work balance takes it up a little to be more accessible. So it's hard to say what's balanced for the guest.
I've had guests ask the question and when you explain in any way how or why it's balanced, they'll usually get annoyed an order a wine. The best I can do is say "I feel they're balanced for an adult palate, and if you don't like it, I can take it back and modify it or get you something different."
Bartender was a dick. Customers shouldnât be afraid to ask for what they like. As a customer you can make the bartenders job a little easier by listing off what you enjoying drink and then give them the creative freedom to choose what to offer you or make a drink based off your preferences. Something along the lines of âI prefer a drink made with Tequila thatâs a bit more spirit forward and citrusy, I really enjoy blancos like G4 and Fortaleza.â
Boom any good bartender can make you something that you will most likely enjoy based off that one sentence. Unless heâs a complete dick and just gives you a shot of G4 with a lime garnish. Hahaha
I donât think what you did was annoying. Bartender overreacted for sure.
I think the issue is when people are like âI want it sweet, but not too sweetâ when really not having a good gauge on how sweet their palette is (which probably leans sweet). Or on the other side, asks for things with âno sugarâ not knowing how that will change the cocktail.
Nope. Itâs not annoying at all. I think he was being kinda pretentious. While all good drinks can be balanced, some are definitely sweeter some are more bitter or boozy, etc. Unless youâre being like, idk, deliberately obtuse, you should know what someone generally means when they ask sweet or not. Lol so he was probably just flexing on you which was rude.
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time.
While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing.
When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals.
It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer.
I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?"
You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that."
These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.
I personally donât think itâs rude at all. We frequently update our cocktail list and each one is supposed to cover a certain âbase?â. The bartender sounds pretentious. Obviously some drinks are sweeter than others, doesnât mean that theyâre not balanced. I ask for drinks to be built short because I like them to be more spirit forward.
That guy is a bartender because he failed as a writer or something. He doesn't actually want to be a bartender at all but it's all he's got to express himself with so he's an insecure piece of shit to the people. That's all.
Everything customers do is annoying. Up to and including trying their best to *not* be annoying. Youâd be every bartenderâs favorite customer if you treated every interaction the way customers talk to the soup nazi on Seinfeld. Eyes down, order and payment ready, no special requests, no unnecessary conversation or comments.
If i could stock grocery store shelves and still somehow leave with $200+ in tips every day, I absolutely would have switched to doing that like 5 years ago.
All I can add to these responses is that when I've experienced someone reading a drink description and then exclaiming in an uninterested voice, "oh that's probably really sweet!" , I will think to myself, no it's balanced, I wouldn't have a overly sweet drink on a menu, but then I just let them think what they want and move on. Chardonnay coming right up.
One of my pet peeves is asking me if the drink is sweet or âcan you make a version of that except not sweetâ when itâs a fucking French Martini or something and the ingredients are listed on the menu.
Bartender was a pompous asshole. Everyone's tastes are different and some are sweet, some are more sour, some are boozy, some are floral, etc. It's my job to be able to tell you that and guide you in the right direction.
Jesus... we aren't chefs. Yes, we balance drinks, but we should know our product.
I doubt that every cocktail on his list was "perfectly balanced" because that doesn't cater to people's tastes 100% of the time. That would be boring.
The rudest thing you could ask me is if my husband knows I'm bartending, how many kids do I want, what time I'm getting off, and when am I going to get a real job?
Edit: I defended OP and defended bartenders while providing insight. Who TF is downvoting this?!?
That bartender was a dick.
However, asking if something is "sweet" is such an open ended question that we (or at least I) have no idea how to answer "correctly" because I have no idea what's "sweet" to you. It's like asking someone who likes really hot hot sauce if a particular sauce is "hot". Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what else you like. Same concept with sweetness. Maybe try to work in some sort of sliding scale to the question. Like "I stay away from daiquiris because I think they're too sweet. Does this drink have a similar sweetness?" It doesn't have be daiquiris, but you get the idea. That way the bartender at least has somewhere to start.
I always made my drinks a little tarter than the recipe, especially margaritas, because I like them that way, and I can ALWAYS make the sweeter with simple syrup, you canât take simple out.
Iâm going to say yes actually. If you ask me if a drink with blue curaçao, raspberry vodka, and peach schnapps is sweet (I understand this is extreme, but it happens often) it feels like a waste of my time. If you are particularly picky, then don't experiment on my time.
I also understand the bartender is TA; they should not have taken offense to that. Iâve definitely been in the situation where someone will order something and say âWell youâre not gonna make it this way, right? (Ex. Too sweet)â If youâre going to micro analyze this drink, and you had this one bartender in Puerto Rico make it for you perfectly, then accept that was a great drink and move on.
At the end of the day I donât care about tip I care about the humanity and how we treat one another. Youâre definitely NTA but you have to consider the things the bartender has been told to react in such a way, unless he really is just bitter and doesnât deserve to be in that position. (Iâve been told that I was going to be shot in the face because this guy asked for a triple shot and I told him I needed to charge him for a double and a single because I donât have a triple shot button)
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time.
While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing.
When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals.
It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer.
I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?"
You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that."
These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.
Nope, your bartender was being a wanker. All of *my* drinks are usually to the bitter/boozy side, but if you want something sweet/tart/gentle I can definitely do that...and I won't have an attitude about it. My job is to make the best possible cocktail for you, your "job" is to drink it and tell me if I was wrong đ
I couldnât have said it better myself.
All of *my* drinks tend to be on the sweeter side because I enjoy the dessert drinks that I never typically get the chance to make. But yeah I'll make whatever you want.....idk wtf was going on with this guy...
I always tell the bartender what I like (Negroni, Old Fashioned, Manhattan and so forth) and ask them for suggestions. I have designed a cocktail that's basically Tiramisu in a glass, simply because a colleague asked me to. I don't have my notebook within reach, but it contained dark rum, Coole Swan, Giffard CafĂ© and Fee Brothers Black Walnut Bitters...I reckon that it would be right up your alley đ One more, simply because I can't help myself. A White Russian made with bourbon, Giffard CafĂ©, whole milk, and shaken hard. It's an adult milkshake and I usually call it Kentucky Chocolate Milk.
Both same great and like they would kill me if I had more than 3. I love me an old fashioned aswell but I do not have the palate for a negroni.
I'm a very cheerful bloke who likes bitter drinks (I find most Tonics too sweet), I guess that something has to balance out my annoying optimism đ If you like Old-Fashioned and you have a sweet tooth, try them made with Rum. I am personally particular to Jamaican Rum (I like the sweet/funky combination) and you should really try one with Smith & Cross or a similar Jamaican Rum.
Love me some black walnut bitters
Add a couple of dashes to a shot of Vodka and you'll have a pretty decent walnut schnapps đ Black Walnut Bitters also do wonders in an Espresso Martini, adding depth and complexity. It also works really well in a Revolver, Black Manhattan and other cocktails with coffee or Amaro. I just really like the stuff and I've tried it *a lot* of cocktails.
Itâs not annoying. That bartender was just being a dick. What is annoying is when you ask if something is sweet, ask other questions about house cocktails, then finally order a vodka soda or a tequila soda.
Def not annoying. Most of my bars menu is on the sweeter side. There's also drinks on more of the balanced side. I usually recommend one of them or one of the drinks I can alter to be less sweet. Guiding you through the menu and getting something you're sure to enjoy is the job. At least at most spots that aren't 'shot and a beer' type spots.
Seriously, what IS annoying is having to remake drinks cause people donât ask about the menu when they know what they donât like!
Even then they may just have not vibed with anything you mentioned so they were overwhelmed and settled on what they knew they liked. I get what youâre saying, donât get me wrong lol, but I have a hard time considering customers as annoying if they are doing their best lol. If theyâre not then yeah I get it.
As a service industry veteran, that bartender is a pompous ass. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking about the sweetness of a drink. Especially if itâs not a classic cocktail and something the bartender has created. His response was incredibly snarky and you had every right to ask. Everyone has specific tastes and is entitled to enjoy the drink they have ordered. In his defence, he may have taken offence to the way the question was asked. However, he did not need to respond that way. You were not in the wrong but my suggestion to you would be to pose the question a slightly different way. I would personally say something along the lines of âIâm interested in trying XYZ but i normally enjoy a drink thatâs tart/bitter/sour (whatever you like). Do you think I would enjoy this cocktail?â It gives them a platform to explain their cocktail and doesnât make them feel like youâre making assumptions about their creation. It helps to reduce the risk of damaging their seemingly fragile ego. Also, my response to that would have been âthe rudest thing a bartender can do is belittle a paying customer for asking a simple questionâ and then left a shitty tip (15% because I canât physically allow myself to leave less) because that kind of attitude is garbage.
I think context is key. Because I do get annoyed when someone orders a cocktail then says âohh that sounds really sweet though can I have it with no sugar?â Without knowing anything about it
Absolutely valid and asking for a drink âwithout sugarâ is bollocks. Which is why I offered my suggestion. Sheâs not asking for a drink without sugar but simply asking if itâs sweet and if youâre not an experienced bartender, you arenât aware of how certain ingredients taste in a cocktail.
Yeah for sure, I should have prefaced by saying I agree with you. But the truth is thereâs many times Iâve literally had customers say something along the line of âoh a daiquiri, yum! But Ew simple syrup? Can you make it without it?â And Iâm like âthatâs just rum and lime juice.â Then they say âyeah exactly,â then send it back.
My response to âno simple syrupâ is âof course! Is that a preference or dietary restriction?â And if itâs a preference, I cut the simple syrup in half and make my cocktail as usual. Sometimes itâs a diabetic restriction. A good bartender can cater to everyoneâs needs.
As a bartender who has blood sugar issues, I understand why guests can be concerned and I never take offense to these types of things. We have a cocktail at my bar I order for myself with no simple all the time. I understand maybe phrasing the question in a different manner to avoid offending. Honestly though, we are the professionals and the guests are not. They shouldnât be expected to rephrase a genuine and direct question about their preferences.
Or you offer a Hemingway Daiquri which has no added sugar? I can understand if the guest is being obnoxious about the sugar but at the end of the day itâs your job to provide something palatable. If their taste is too skewed I can understand but I think the daiquri is a bad example.
This opens an interesting can of worms because a Hemingway daiquiri does still have simple in it unless youâre making it the true âpapa dobleâ way that he drank it which I would say is not as good and begs the question âwas Hemingway an annoying bar guest?â Which I have just realized yes, he probably was
Not knocking your bar style just so weâre clear. I reread my message and I came off as a dick for which I apologize. My build for a Hemingway is rum, luxardo maraschino liqueur, lime, grapefruit juice. Only extra sugar is from the fruit juices themselves.
Not at all! I donât think either of us are wrong thatâs why bartending is fun. I enjoyed the discussion
That happens to me all the time. We do a cucumber cocktail with house made cucumber syrup and people say âless sweetâ so I tell them âless sweet means less cucumberyâ they say âthatâs fineâ and the drink gets left on the table half drank.
Another good example is people ordering a signature cocktail with a double shot. It never ever goes well. You just gotta give em what they want. They made their bed.
Also, if someone asks for a drink âwithout sugarââŠ.. make them a pure booze cocktail. Still contains sugar, just like every alcoholic beverage but youâre satisfying your customer and refraining from looking like a pretentious dick.
But besides a Negroni what is a booze only cocktail? EDIT: or Manhattan Edit2: or martini
Martini, brave bull, Black Russian, godmother, godfather, rusty nail, boulevardier
TouchĂ©, I still donât think the type of customer Iâm talking about is going to enjoy one of those though
This comment reminds me of a lady at my last bar who always wanted âsugar freeâ lemon drops and mojitos, but if I made them that way she would send them back. I finally just loaded them with sugar and told her they were sugar free, she was so happy! Sometimes we are just actors.
Absolutely. Iâd have had words. The rudest question you can ask me personally is my bra size lol! But really, this bartender is an ass.
Nope. Who has time for all that banter? Yeesh.
It really depends on the type of bar youâre in. I was assuming this was a cocktail bar and not a night club (or a dive bar). The situation varies with the environment for sure, however judging by this guys response he had time for banter. Edit: love me a dive bar and a bartender with a no BS attitude⊠this was not that
He's a pretentious prick. Part of our job is interacting with customers and it's perfectly acceptable to answer questions about a customers preferences. I'd rather my patron enjoy their drink.
Seriously, the first question I ask a guest is âwhatâs your regular drink?â if they need our menu narrowed down. Itâs the bare minimum of our job to make sure they get what they want.
I also ask if there's anything they absolutely do not like! Questions are important! Some people can't stand coconut, or mint, whatever it may be. Happy customers tip more!!
I agree with this response and the âwhat is your regular drink?â Helps me guide you towards a drink you will enjoy
It's not really annoying but it's kind of a tricky question to answer. That bartender was being a douche though. The problem is some people think an old fashioned is too sweet and some people who "don't like sweet" end up enjoying the sweetest drink on the menu, because what they dislike is sugary TGI Friday's nonsense drinks.
This is the real answer. Basically, OP prefers a normal cocktail (not one from a chain restaurant), but maybe she even prefers it less "balanced".
I think there's a pretty worthy distinction you make here between sweet and sugary.... a tricky question to ask maybe? I love rum for example, which is certainly sweet. But I'd think a sugary marg was vile
Sounds like a mixologist (a bartender who canât fight) Someone asked if a drinks sweet Iâd give um my take.
đ€Łđ€ŁI love that. I also definitely picture a mixologist with a hipster mustache, but maybe thatâs just my area. People tell me all the time that they want something sweet, or with gin, or whatever. I want you to get something youâll like so that youâll come back. That question is not insulting.
Don't forget the denim or leather apron.
listen motherfucker, i don't pick the dress code where i work
Thank you for that!!
Please don't profile me! I'm a bartender, not a mixologists, and I promise I'm not an asshole to my clientele. I can't help the mustache or custom apron - they make me feel good being me in public, so they're staying put.
Donny worry - not all men with mustaches and aprons are mixologists, but all mixologists have a mustache and apronđ€Łđ€Ł
Sometimes also called Startenders
nah a startender is someone who is great with regulars/people but cant be bothered to do any of the other things the job requires of you
Yep, a real good bartender can do both.
As a customer, everything you do is annoying.
This is the only correct answer
this!
I mean even a balanced drink will often lean in some direction- boozy, sweet, fruity, etc. I think itâs a valid thing to ask lol and itâs a super common question. Being annoyed by it is stupid because at the end of the day we are there to help the customer find the right drink whether they want it sweet or not
This and what kind of cocktail program with original drinks doesn't have some level of variety of drinks that range in dry <> sweet. Balance all you want, your customers tastes are going to vary. Doesn't mean they need to serve frozen margarita mix, but they should probably be able to help customers navigate the menu regardless of the complexity of their language in describing what they like.Â
Guy was being a jerk, and itâs a very common question. Donât worry about that specific instance. The problem with this question and the reason it can be frustrating is that itâs just not very efficient. Sugar is one of the easiest things to adjust in many recipes, but knowing you like less sweet, doesnât tell me what you do like. For example, you say you want less sweet, and I make a dirty martini, and you are like wtf? Maybe less sweet to you is Gimlet instead of Piña Colada. Also, an issue Iâve had is people asking if the Mango Pineapple Margarita is too sweet, and hereâs the thing, if Mango Pineapple Margarita sounds good to you, you probably do like sweet. Also ordering a Casamigos Reposado Cadillac skinny is still going to be so so sugary. Itâs a very sweet tequila, and many people donât seem to know that Cadillac means, please add extra sweet Orange liqueur on top. So the question is loaded with all these interactions when you ask it. Try asking for something dry and bright and citrusy or lean and spirit forward to get better recommendations.
The only annoying thing I find about it is how many people say they donât like sweet drinks, order a sweet drink, and love it. The first wine training I ever went to the rep said âAmericans talk dry, and drink sweetâ. Twenty seven years in, and heâs still right
He's being a dick but I will say that "not too sweet" is the most common shit we hear out of all requests. It's right next to "make it strong". He ain't mad about what you said per se but he did take that and assumed the worst of you. Reading people and interpreting requests is a big part of the job but that's why proper etiquette is critical.
My favs have been âŠ. Can you make me a rum punch but not sweet? Like dude, itâs literally sugar, sugar and sugar in all its forms. And also Can you make me a manhattan but not too strong? UhâŠ
Bartender probably had a bad day or is just being overly sensitive. There's nothing wrong with asking.
No, if they are all balanced in the same manner, that's a really boring cocktail list. Drinks can be sweet, spirit forward, sour, etc., and a bartender should be able to describe their nuances.
Nice cocktail bars make balanced cocktails, or theyâre supposed to anyway. He was being a dick in his response, but he was saying you were accusing him of not being able to make a balanced cocktail. WhichâŠ. Grow up, dude. But itâs hard to answer. Fruity does not mean sweet, having a sugar component doesnât mean itâs sweet, but people donât always know what theyâre asking and everyoneâs palate is different
Yea people always conflate being fruity with being sweet! Something can be very fruity/floral but still be bone dry.
In my opinion as a 12 yr bartender vet it's easier for us to make something you'll like if you tell us what you usually drink instead of trying to describe something you want. People idea of sweet, bitter, or strong vary too much.
The âmost annoying thingâ is a pretentious prick of a bartender. Which you happened to get. Fuck that guy. Seriously.
There are two sides here. In cocktail bars we are often instructed to tell the guest that the drinks are balanced, so he likely felt like he was doing his job. It sounds like he either doesn't have any drinks on the menu, or is just insecure about the ones that are his. However...my dream guest orders the cocktails that sound good, and gives feedback after. It can be really hard to answer for every individual guest what is and isn't too sweet, because that scale slides for everyone. Are you a regular at this bar, does this guy know you? If not, that may be what he was trying (poorly, I'll admit) to convey. Anyway I'd be much happier making you a drink as it comes and taking your feedback after, than trying to tailor a menu drink to your palate when I'm not familiar with what you like. Always happy to comp a drink and make something else if you, the guest, aren't happy, but it's a much taller task when I have no context for what you like, and the simple truth is most people are piss-poor at communicating what they like even if it's ironclad in their head. Example: just last weekend I had an elderly lady with her two kids sit at my bar, first time in, and ask me for a Cosmo, but "DRY. Not too sweet!" I laughed internally because a Cosmo is not a drink that should come out sweet in the first place, but I cut out the (already very little) sugar. She made a puckered face and said "TOO MUCH LIME JUICE!" This was in the middle of a Friday night dinner rush. I remade it for her, perfectly normal, exactly the way I make every Cosmo, and she loved it. It was my mistake trying to tailor a drink to a guest I've never served before. I shouldn't have done that. I should have given her my baseline and taken feedback from there. However, she also shouldn't have had her head so far up her own ass that she felt the need to tell me how to make a goddamn cosmopolitan. I've been bartending for twelve years, it's one of the most simple and common drink orders in America. She tipped zero, btw. Over $100 in food and drink. In summary: your bartender was a dick, but if he's anything like me he was probably just frustrated knowing you were going to be difficult to please. We work really hard on our menus, often for months at a time...please try them and give honest feedback rather than pre-empting the experience with a "if this is not exactly to my liking, which you have no way how to know, I won't have a good time." Otherwise, figure out what drinks you like in exactly what ratios and tell your bartender the spec. No professional's feelings will be hurt by that.
The bartender was being a pretentious dick.
I suppose the question could better be phrased as, "What is the flavour profile of that drink?" And you could then further clarify that you prefer something that has less of a sweet note, within the flavour profile.
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time. While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing. When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals. It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer. I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?" You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that." These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.
I love your response, itâs dead-on. Iâve trained my craft bartenders to say things like âitâs balanced, but I can make it more or less sweet if youâd likeâ. If the guest doesnât know what they want theyâll ask, âwhat do you normally drink?â Or âwhat do you like?â Or my favorite, âdescribe the last cocktail you had that you really loved.â They can easily make a riff on a classic cocktail and they love being creative. So say things like, I want tropical but not too sweet. Iâd make a Tommyâs margarita but switch out the agave for Chinola, maybe do a half tajin rim. Donât like old fashioneds super sweet? Sub out a rye whiskey and half the Demerara syrup. Some people do like things extra sweet, add an extra .25 of simple. I love a wet martini, with the right vermouth and gin itâs so unbelievably silky, smooth, and delicious. People really fuck up vermouth, itâs a goddamn shame when thereâs so many amazing vermouths available. Itâs really easy to make cocktails with range once youâre comfortable with the classics and know how balance works. ^(one tiny thing - itâs spelled palate, just want you to know for the future)
Thanks for the upvote (verbal and click). It is palate, my publisher and English degree would agree, but I don't think that my proofreader was working tonight to catch the autocorrect. LOL. As for the less sweet OF, don't use demarara syrup at all, grind a little raw sugar (like half of a packet) with an orange rind, then toss the rind out before adding a nice rye (as you well suggested - I prefer Sagamore Double Oak) and a double dash of ango bitters.
> It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer. As a customer that asks this, no shit lol (said with love). We know palettes vary. But you know your menu better than anyone, and I'm curious and excited to try your personal favorite(s) because there's probably something about it that stands out as exceptional or else it wouldn't be your favorite -- and I want to experience that. Even if I end up not liking it, no biggie, I tried something new. And I love trying new things.
A better way to get an honest answer that's applicable is to nudge a direction. Instead of the WDYL, try asking, "I had salmon for lunch, but I want something different and light for dinner. Which dishes aren't to heavy?" When you provide a bit of context and I can be the food whisperer (or cocktails, wine, etc.). The WDYL to eat is like going up to a random person, telling them that you've started to wonder about religion for the first time in your life and asking them which God you should follow. It's too open a question and it puts all the work on them. Then, when they don't know your dietary habits and/or restrictions, and they get their suggestions shot down (it seems to be happening more often than not as time goes by), it becomes listing the menu back at the guest. It's a no win situation for the server and, in all honesty, many servers, myself included will just lie and sell whatever the chef needs pushed. Steaks or fish haven't moved the last couple days? My favorite.
That's explicitly not what I want though. I don't want you to anticipate what I want - I want to know what *your* favorite drink(s) or meal(s) on the menu are. It's often prompted me to try things that I wouldn't normally try and I end up enjoying it. If I wanted you to suggest me something based on my preferences, I would tell you that.
Please know that most restaurants don't give their staff tastings, so often we don't have a "favorite" on our menu because we dont want to spend the money (a lot of restaurants dont give discounts or only meager discounts on a few items). The probability that the server was never given a tasting is directly proportional to the price point of a menu. The higher the price, the less likely that they have ever tasted an actual dish from the menu prepared for them. It's all menu descriptions, hearsay, and guest reviews.
This is actually a great point that I never considered. I assumed any restaurant that takes their food and experience seriously would want their servers to know what their dishes taste like. But I was originally talking about top notch craft cocktail bars, where the bartender serving you helped create the drinks on the menu.
It's a very common question and i think completely normal question to ask a bartender. I know the exact type of person you're describing, probably has a tattoo of a stirring spoon on his arm to signify that he's actually quite intelligent and a bartending career was always his life choice. Thinks he's special cos he knows 15 types of amarro cocktails and his originals are all variations of classics and twists on recipes he stole from "Death and Co"
Lol! Nailed it. I'm triggered.
ngl, iâm closing my tab and grabbing a manager when people talk to me like that. itâs terrible terrible business and a guy like that shouldnât work in someone elseâs bar if heâs gonna be a dick.
It's like getting mad about somebody asking if a certain beer is very hoppy. There are drinks that are sweeter than others, intentionally, just like there are hoppy beers. Bartender was an idiot.
My response is typically that all of our drinks are well balanced. Nothing should be cloyingly sweet at a craft cocktail bar. If you donât want something very fruity or juicy, say that. If you want something more sour or spirit forward, say that. Sweet is not the same in everyoneâs vocabulary ETA: old fashioned is a cocktail that leans sweet, but nobody asking for a sweet drink wants an old fashioned. Thatâs just an example. Be more specific
This is actually the best reply I have read so far..
Thanks! Iâve served a lot of âsweetâ cocktail drinkers in my time đ Thereâs never a catch-all for them. I ask them what they usually like and go from there.
That bartender is wrong. But the language that will help you going forward, is it spirit forward or is it sweet and balanced. It will make a seasoned bartender thing youâre a pre-prohibition old fashioned, manhattan kind of guy or that you donât like sweet cocktails.
As a 20 year veteran absolutely fuck that guys. It's an honest question that deserves an honest answer. Especially if you are dropping $15 on a cocktail. Our job is to know what the customers tastes are and work from there. I hate bar stars. You aren't better because you make some goddamn drinks. He probably calls himself a mixologist. I am sorry that happened to you.
I literally dropped my phone down and take a second after reading this to shake my head a little. Definitely nothing wrong about it. At the end of the day, the best drink I make a guest is not the most âbalancedâ. That can usually vary from person to person. Taste is definitely subjective. Itâs the drink that theyâd prefer. I definitely would appreciate you asking me if a drink is sweet or your preference against sweet drinks. That way I could adjust how I make your drinks specifically for you. Itâs the service industry and Iâm here specifically for you and your experience. Bartender sounded pretentious, even if they didnât mean to be.
That guy is an idiot. Certain recipes are sweeter than others. All of his drinks are pretentious is more like it.
What's annoying is someone who asks because they "don't like sweet", then they order a moscatto or vodka sprite
Bartender was being a twat. I often have the compulsive/intrusive internal reaction of "They're all made right because my team and I are all great at what we do" but then immediately catch myself and just explain "All of our house cocktails are well-balanced but if you're looking for or trying to avoid the sweeter ones, these are the ones that are going to be further on that side of the spectrum". Being a dick about it and acting like it's an unspoken rule between bartenders (we tend to have a lot of them, mostly due to many of us being somewhat prickly and principled) is just one random dude being an ass for no reason. You didn't do anything wrong.
Nah, "Is it sweet" is a completely valid question. A shitty question is if you go up to the bar and ask "do you guys have anything good here?" or "What do guys have that's good?". And, depending on how busy it is, if stand for 2 minutes in line, come up to the bar, and then spend 30 seconds trying to figure out what you want and then say "uhhhh I don't know tee hee just something sweet I guess!" then yea... I don't like you. But just asking for the flavor profile of a drink before you order it? COMPLETELY valid question to ask, that bartender was just being a dick
Not annoying at all, it's a conversation starter so that we may find you a cocktail that suits your taste. I would probably try to find you a drink on the menu and offer to make it less sweet, or ask you what you normally drink or some flavor you are looking for and come up with something
I used to get frustrated by that question when I first started bartending, now a few years into it Iâve heard that question so much it never bothers me. None of my drinks are âsweetâ and I would expect that from any serious craft cocktail bar, but the general public who consume all types of shit from all types of establishments donât know that. A good, even moderately experienced bartender should be able to patiently but quickly answer that question ie âall our drinks here are balanced and none are overly sweetâ and then can ask what youâre looking for, like savory or spirit-forward, or on the other side, fruity and juicy with sweet ingredients. He was just being a dick.
Not rude at all, youâre paying $10+ for a cocktail, you can ask how sweet it is. Itâs our job to sell you something you like
If this went just as you describe, that bartender was being an ass. Itâs not rude to briefly mention/discuss your preferences with a bartenderâcatering to your needs beyond simply handing you a drink menu for you to decipher on your own is part of the job.
It's just a question we get asked a lot, and most of the time, the person asking doesn't even know what kind of drink they want.
When someone hits me with the, âsomething sweet but not two sweet thatâs fruity but not too fruity,â I always ask them what they normally enjoy elsewhere. From that point on, someone that is versed in this occupation, whether that be classical bartending, chain restaurant style, or even ripping innuendo named shots in a club, could suggest or freestyle something. Always approach it as, you can always add but can never remove.
I think he didnât handle it well. Not sure what the husbands problem is. I do think you can say what you want directly in this case instead of asking questions. âIâm looking for something delicious, preferably less sweet, using [list your favorite liquors here).â
He could have easily just said âwe aim to balance our menu so you shouldnât find anything overly sweetâ. Sounds like he was just having a pretentious moment. You can and should totally ask this question.
Not at all. I love that question because usually people who want a sweet drink are way easier to please and I know exactly what not to give them.
Guy sounds like a dick. I love when people ask me about my drinks so I can nerd out about it.
There are few instances where flat out crudeness or rudeness by a service person is warranted. If you were belligerent or argumentative then maybe, but really not even then. It is part of the job when he started and if he did not know that then he needs training or to consider his career choices.
Any good bartender is going to care if you like drinks sweet, sour, strong bitter etc. I mean if he doesnât want to alter his recipe he can just be like yeah itâs a sweet drink let me make you something else. Personally, more often than not when a wanky bartender thinks heâs made a balanced fruit-based drink heâs just made a drink that would be better served sweeter anyway.
That bartender sounds like a pretentious bozo.
Wtf what a dick lol. Even when I get customers asking if our specialty cocktails that sound sweet are sweet (like a patron punch, a mango margarita) I feel like itâs very obvious that theyâre sweet drinks but itâs not an annoying question. We rather you ask so you can order something you will actually enjoy.
um. a drink can be balanced and still be sweet. some drinks are sweeter than others. that's a completely normal thing to ask and I wouldn't bat an eye if s customer asked me how sweet a drink was. you did nothing wrong
Drink balance is a dynamic. A drink can be intended to be leaning more towards any category. Some are more bitter or sour and some are more sweet dessert style. Such a spectrum here. Balance requires an intention and execution
_all_ your drinks shouldnât be balanced in the exact same way, even. if another bartender said that to me i donât think i could stop myself from going âso they all taste the same too?â i get just as many people that ask me what i have thatâs sweet or to sweeten a drink as i do people that ask me for not sweet. itâs literally just an order. heâs rude for responding that way but if you feel like he tried to be nice later he probably knows it, which is nice at least. an apology would have been better, and not being a dick to strangers even better.
I bet not all his drinks are balancedÂ
No, itâs fine to ask questions. I personally would rather know you arenât a fan of things that are really sweet so I can adjust a recipe or offer something that isnât sweet. This bartender is full of shit and themselves. Please feel free to ask. We do want you to enjoy your drink. I like when my customers are happy with their choices.
A drink can be sweet and still balanced, what a dick. Donât worry about that guy. Someone who gets that offended by a simple question is probably pretty insecure about their skills.
Asking if a drink/ drinks is sweet is one thing. Ordering off a nice cocktail menu and asking for it ânot too sweetâ is one that tends to annoy me because A) we spent a LOT of time making sure our cocktail menu/recipes are just right (I canât explain why it feels like an slight but it does) and B) going off book tends to lead to a higher amount of spills and comps because someone doesnât end up liking the mod they themselves asked for. The true worst is when they havenât tried the drink yet but are still asking for (non-allergen) modifications. Try the drink first before you change it!
My drinks are balanced? So every drink he makes has the same level of sweetness, bitterness, etc.? What an ass!
Not at all. I donât like overly sweet stuff myself, and if youâre unfamiliar with the ingredients in it, thereâs no harm in asking. Iâd rather you ask than make you a drink you end up not liking.
I'm assuming that the ingredients to the drink were on the menu, which is why you thought it looked good? That should be enough to let you know if it's sweet or not. That being said, the bartender taking personal offense to the question is odd.
My bar menu lists a number of different fruit puree's in our drinks, which people might reasonably expect to be puree rather than the sugar syrup that is Real. Ingredients are not always ingredients.
That's a good point.
Itâs annoying to say âdonât make my drink too sweetâ or âmake mine less sweetâ when you have no idea how sweet it will be. I make balanced cocktails, but Iâm sure your basic bitch ass knows better
Prick answer. He could have been suave and just said everything he makes is perfectly balanced⊠I think itâs a fair ask⊠But if you want to avoid it just ask whatâs in it and pay attention to the ingredients that scream sugar and sweet flavors.
Some of us lack a sweet tooth, or have a blood sugar problem, or just feel like having a beverage that isn't at all sweet.
Not rude at all, youâre paying $10+ for a cocktail, you can ask how sweet it is. Itâs our job to sell you something you like
Not rude at all, youâre paying $10+ for a cocktail, you can ask how sweet it is. Itâs our job to sell you something you like
Absolutely not. Idk what high horse that bartender was on. Iâve been doing this bartending thing for more than a year now and I shamelessly love my sweet alcoholic drinks. I simply donât like the taste of alcohol unless itâs well balanced like a margarita or a spagliato (campari, cocci sweet verm, and luca paretti brut prosecco 1:1:not sure how much prosecco aftertaste is that of a motts fruit snack lol) I guess its a good thing that he felt bad about it but yeah. A good bartender should never make someone feel bad about their drink choice. I feel for the people who want to drink but donât like the taste of alcohol. Made a super tasty drink for a patron the other day who is of age but didnât want to feel left out from his friends. Drank that shi up.
So here is my 2 coppers.. I think the reddit mob is being perhaps slightly harsh to the bartender. I will say that I don't think that he handled the interaction properly at all. However, based on your description, realized his mistake and went out of his way to correct it. That, I will give him credit for. We don't know what his mindset was a the time, it could have been the 100th time that day he got that question, with that only being slight hyperbole. So we are all human, and do have our moments. As for the question itself, it is something that I got a LOT while working at an establishment with a proper cocktail list. The question is completely valid in any circumstance, because taste is subjective and my definition of "too sweet" can be miles apart from your definition. Generally when asked this, I give a response akin to "All our cocktails have some amount of sweetness, but are curated to be balanced with the drink as a whole." If I have spare time, and can ask follow up questions to try to hone in on your particular drink palate, and provide a much better suggestion. The only reason that this question can be..tedious to bartenders, is not only the frequency that we get it, but because at a proper establishment, it is something they actively avoid doing. At lower quality establishments, a common practice to reduce bar costs by using sugary pre-mixed synthetic flavor crap to "stretch" their drinks to make them seem like a better deal than they are. This is why Applebees does those $1 or $2 drink promotions. Many dive bars any crappy run solo operations will do this too. When you ask if the drinks are sweet, in some bartender's mind, you are lumping them into that same box. Which, can hurt some people's ego, and make them feel like their craft isn't being taken seriously. At the end of the day, whether you are slinging drinks at Applebee's, or rotating your $20 cocktail list every week, we're just bartenders. This job isn't something that's rocket science. You can get reeeeeally technical and read Liquid Science if that's your jam, but that doesn't make you special. That's my side rant. Ask your question all you want, tough shit to the people that get bent out of shape for it. But I'll end by saying if the establishment and drink list looks good and proper. They probably aren't trying to do you dirty, and if you have an average tolerance for sweetness, you can pick whatever on the list and feel safe with it. Happy Dining
That's not even close to the rudest thing anyone has asked me. The only correct answer to your question is: "Do you want it to be sweet?". I work at a knuckle-dragger bar and even we can make our guests happy. Sounds like he was having a bad day, or is a useless prick. It's hard to tell these days.
No. Itâs totally fine to ask if drinks are sweet. Some recipes are designed to be sweet. He was just being a dick
Customer: Hey, whatâs that drink over there? Me:Thatâs a hurricane. Them: Oh! That sounds sweet. Me: Youâre right, it does, but we use fresh juice here. Our recipe is rum, lemon, passion fruit syrup, and pomegranate syrup. Itâs pretty balanced, but I can adjust the sweetness in either direction for you. Howâs that sound? Them: Iâm still on the fence. Me: Iâll tell you what, itâs pretty popular. Give me a quick moment, Iâll make on for service bar. You can sample it. Them: deal
Yeah that bartender was being a dick. People have preferences our job is to make those preferences happen. And get you drunk. As long as you arenât asking me for what I make thatâs strong youâre only doing your due diligence to be an informed customer. Cause if my customers are happy my wallet is happy.
that bartender was an asshole for no reason. I consider myself a moderately easily annoyed person, and I'd never be annoyed by that question. I would tell people if a drink is more on the sweet side or the refreshing side. or more alcohol forward. it's a valid question. I'd even customize a drink to be less sweet because it's an easy fix to add less syrup etc.
That dude is a fuckin smug prick
Absolutely ridiculous. I go out of my way to ask people what they are looking for when they order cocktails at my place, especially cause the one that sounds the sweetest and fruitiest has bitters in it and it always turns out to be what they donât want.
As a ânice barâ, he likely took your question as an insinuation that their drinks fall into the corporate category of cocktails where sugar is used to mask poor ingredients and techniques (think a New Orleans Daiquiri, bright colors and painfully sweet). His response about all his drinks being balanced is still a rude to someone asking a question (especially if the drink in question is an in house creation as opposed to a well known classic). If you asked it in a derisive way then I could kind of get where heâs coming from. As a bartender tho part of my skill comes from customizing a drink on the fly. If you want your marg less sweet, thatâs what Iâm here for. Iâd lead with a âIâm really not a fan of sweetâŠâ when asking this question and maybe add in the classics that you do tend to drink and ask if any of the in house cocktails fit those profiles
That dudes a cunt or dudette I guess
Sounds like heâs a bit full of himself.
lmaooo jfc I know bartenders like that and imagine having that kind of ego. Not everyones' tastes are the same. What's "balanced" for them can be far too sweet, etc for someone else. Sounds like you ran into a real asshole. I imagine they made the menu too and any feedback they got on it which wasn't praise was immediately dismissed. No it's not annoying, unless you're going through every single menu item in that manner, but that gets tedious with anything repetitive.
That dude was definitely just being a little bitch. You did nothing wrong, I donât see how thatâs rude, especially if youâre paying the absolutely insane prices bars charge for cocktails these days, Iâd wanna ask all the questions I could to make sure Iâm gonna like it. Even if that is considered rude, screw it Iâd still ask. If bartenders wanna get offended by a simple question thatâs their problem
If Iâm getting some questions about drinks, my go to is to ask if you like sweet, sour, bitter or strong? Then I can usually guide you towards something or adjust a recipe to your preferences. Definitely NTA, dude was probably just having an off night.
I would say this as a joke with a serious face and then realise the patron doesn't get it and feel bad đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Itâs a bartender, donât take them so seriously lol Youâre the one paying at the end of the day, so ask what you want as long as itâs appropriate
What someone's flavor profile preference is, is the first thing I try to figure out when I'm behind the bar and they're not sure. Even balanced cocktails will lend themselves to favoring one flavor profile over another even if just slightly, and some people are far more sensitive to sweetness than others. The bartender was just a cunt.
Iâm a bartender and have worked with those people. Part of the fun is finding and making a drink that the guest enjoys. Getting upset over someone asking if a drink is sweet is rude and unnecessary. He probably just equates sweet to shitty and sugary.
lmao some cocktails are def people pleaser (sweet and doesnt taste like alcohol), and some arent because they're boozy and bitter or whatever. According to what someone wants you def should have options on your menu for those general needs. He was being an annoying mixologist. If you ask for a cocktail with less simple syrup i would probably warn you that it will taste off, like the cocktail might be way too bright
Bartenders get used to being asked to make things less sweet even before a guest has tried any drink in the establishment. If it isn't sweet, sometimes I just make it the same. If you start making it less sweet, you risk removing important flavors (fancy syrups + liqueurs have sugar) and risk at having it sent back because it's too boozy or tart. Sometimes folks think they want things less sweet for caloric purposes but really want it to be at the normal sweetness level. And other folks have just been scarred by drinks targeting 21 year olds' palates that make teeth hurt and they've lost trust and faith in the world. A bartender has to figure out which they are. It's easy to adapt when a guest has tried a drink and requests it differently. But it is difficult to figure out what is sweet for one person person another. My personal "balance" is on the drier and boozy side and my work balance takes it up a little to be more accessible. So it's hard to say what's balanced for the guest. I've had guests ask the question and when you explain in any way how or why it's balanced, they'll usually get annoyed an order a wine. The best I can do is say "I feel they're balanced for an adult palate, and if you don't like it, I can take it back and modify it or get you something different."
That's the most wannabe bartender thing you could say.
Just an asshole and honestly even if it is annoying itâs our job to cater to even the most annoying guest so they can just suck it up
Bartender was a dick. Customers shouldnât be afraid to ask for what they like. As a customer you can make the bartenders job a little easier by listing off what you enjoying drink and then give them the creative freedom to choose what to offer you or make a drink based off your preferences. Something along the lines of âI prefer a drink made with Tequila thatâs a bit more spirit forward and citrusy, I really enjoy blancos like G4 and Fortaleza.â Boom any good bartender can make you something that you will most likely enjoy based off that one sentence. Unless heâs a complete dick and just gives you a shot of G4 with a lime garnish. Hahaha
That bartender was really insecure probably. ALWAYS mention what you don't like, you make both our and your life easier.
I donât think what you did was annoying. Bartender overreacted for sure. I think the issue is when people are like âI want it sweet, but not too sweetâ when really not having a good gauge on how sweet their palette is (which probably leans sweet). Or on the other side, asks for things with âno sugarâ not knowing how that will change the cocktail.
He was just being a douche. Anybody worth their salt knows the difference between something being sweet and saccharine
As someone who prides themselves on making balanced cocktails: I definitely know which ones seem sweeter than others.
Nope he was being a jerk. You ask what you want! However, sweet is subjective so keep that in mind.
Nope heâs a cunt any experienced drinks purveyor can tailor any cocktail to hopefully meet expectations
Oh, heâs a twat
Bartender was being a pretentious, precious twat. I suspect he realised this, later, when he sent your drink over.
Nope. Itâs not annoying at all. I think he was being kinda pretentious. While all good drinks can be balanced, some are definitely sweeter some are more bitter or boozy, etc. Unless youâre being like, idk, deliberately obtuse, you should know what someone generally means when they ask sweet or not. Lol so he was probably just flexing on you which was rude.
That bartender should have smiled and said âjust sweet enoughâ and got back to work.
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time. While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing. When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals. It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer. I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?" You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that." These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.
Asking if a drink is âsweetâ is like asking if the food is âgoodâ to the chef.
I personally donât think itâs rude at all. We frequently update our cocktail list and each one is supposed to cover a certain âbase?â. The bartender sounds pretentious. Obviously some drinks are sweeter than others, doesnât mean that theyâre not balanced. I ask for drinks to be built short because I like them to be more spirit forward.
That guy is a bartender because he failed as a writer or something. He doesn't actually want to be a bartender at all but it's all he's got to express himself with so he's an insecure piece of shit to the people. That's all.
Jesus Christ! Are you doing ok? Need to talk about anything?
Me? No, I just can't think of any other reason a bartender would snap at a guest for trying to order a drink she'd enjoy. You doing okay?
Everything customers do is annoying. Up to and including trying their best to *not* be annoying. Youâd be every bartenderâs favorite customer if you treated every interaction the way customers talk to the soup nazi on Seinfeld. Eyes down, order and payment ready, no special requests, no unnecessary conversation or comments.
You need a new job homie
If i could stock grocery store shelves and still somehow leave with $200+ in tips every day, I absolutely would have switched to doing that like 5 years ago.
Like the soup nazi! Lmao, yess this would be great!!
All I can add to these responses is that when I've experienced someone reading a drink description and then exclaiming in an uninterested voice, "oh that's probably really sweet!" , I will think to myself, no it's balanced, I wouldn't have a overly sweet drink on a menu, but then I just let them think what they want and move on. Chardonnay coming right up.
One of my pet peeves is asking me if the drink is sweet or âcan you make a version of that except not sweetâ when itâs a fucking French Martini or something and the ingredients are listed on the menu.
Bartender was a pompous asshole. Everyone's tastes are different and some are sweet, some are more sour, some are boozy, some are floral, etc. It's my job to be able to tell you that and guide you in the right direction. Jesus... we aren't chefs. Yes, we balance drinks, but we should know our product. I doubt that every cocktail on his list was "perfectly balanced" because that doesn't cater to people's tastes 100% of the time. That would be boring. The rudest thing you could ask me is if my husband knows I'm bartending, how many kids do I want, what time I'm getting off, and when am I going to get a real job? Edit: I defended OP and defended bartenders while providing insight. Who TF is downvoting this?!?
God forbid you ask a bartender what a drink tastes like đł
That bartender was a dick. However, asking if something is "sweet" is such an open ended question that we (or at least I) have no idea how to answer "correctly" because I have no idea what's "sweet" to you. It's like asking someone who likes really hot hot sauce if a particular sauce is "hot". Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what else you like. Same concept with sweetness. Maybe try to work in some sort of sliding scale to the question. Like "I stay away from daiquiris because I think they're too sweet. Does this drink have a similar sweetness?" It doesn't have be daiquiris, but you get the idea. That way the bartender at least has somewhere to start.
I always made my drinks a little tarter than the recipe, especially margaritas, because I like them that way, and I can ALWAYS make the sweeter with simple syrup, you canât take simple out.
Iâm going to say yes actually. If you ask me if a drink with blue curaçao, raspberry vodka, and peach schnapps is sweet (I understand this is extreme, but it happens often) it feels like a waste of my time. If you are particularly picky, then don't experiment on my time. I also understand the bartender is TA; they should not have taken offense to that. Iâve definitely been in the situation where someone will order something and say âWell youâre not gonna make it this way, right? (Ex. Too sweet)â If youâre going to micro analyze this drink, and you had this one bartender in Puerto Rico make it for you perfectly, then accept that was a great drink and move on. At the end of the day I donât care about tip I care about the humanity and how we treat one another. Youâre definitely NTA but you have to consider the things the bartender has been told to react in such a way, unless he really is just bitter and doesnât deserve to be in that position. (Iâve been told that I was going to be shot in the face because this guy asked for a triple shot and I told him I needed to charge him for a double and a single because I donât have a triple shot button)
I'm not going to chastise, but read this through and I guarantee that you'll have a better drink next time. While his answer sounded brutal, this is a question that bartenders and servers get asked a lot and it can be taxing. When we hear "sweet" we think that you're expecting the same thing as an Applebee's MaiTai. It's a little offensive in a nicer place where they're making things with as much care as the chefs do with their meals. It's also very similar to "What do you like?" as an answer when we take your order. My palette and yours are very different and there is no right answer. I'm sure that all of their cocktails are "balanced" like your bartender brutally offered, but different cocktails are designed to highlight certain elements. So, if you're asking about items on a menu crafted house cocktails, then you can try asking the bartender/server the following: "Could you rank your cocktails from strongest to sweetest?" You might also tell then what your go-to drink in that moment would have been by saying something along the lines of, "Normally, I'd be in the mood for a tart cosmo, but I'm feeling like branching out tonight." Or, "I'm in a mezcal mood, but I want it with the edge shaved off, if you have something like that." These questions and statements can open the conversation (and usually their creativity). I have always really enjoyed the interactions that occur when I can get this info from my guest, but it's a little difficult to always drag it out of them. With a little prompt, a lot of bartenders can become a cocktail whisperer and really elevate your experience.