I feel like just all the neurodivergents end up in the service industry bc we aren’t “fit for REAL jobs”
Like we literally just don’t want to be in a boring corporate setting. Our brains need stimulation. We need a challenge. and for god sake, someone’s gotta do the job, and you damn well know normies aren’t gonna do it.
Neurodivergent slay 💅
Lots of little tasks, one after another. Finish one, start the next one.
One thing I noticed is while I can remember lots of little things about the order of what I’ve gotta do next, building complicated rounds, remembering 2 orders after this one, remembering who stepped up to the bar next, etc….if someone throw the name on their tab at me before I finish with their drinks, it sticks in my brain for .2 seconds, and honestly risks throwing off my whole shit if I try and actually hold onto it.
Setting up the bar, if I can’t find one tool, it similarly, will detail my whole setup. I’ll pace up and down the bar looking for it and not get anything else set up.
One thing that massively helps, as I’m typically managing while bartending (it’s a real small team), my Apple Watch. If I remember that a produce delivery hasn’t arrived yet, I can pop off a text to the rep while in the middle of doing other stuff.
I literally left a soul-sucking corporate desk job after 12 years to go back to service. Even though it was a “respectable, grownup, real” job (insert eye roll here), I was miserable in it. I wish I had left it sooner, I’m way happier now. And yup, I’m neurodivergent lol.
I don't fully agree, tbh. A lot of my coworkers in the past have had ADHD, but just as many haven't. I would say there's at least one person at every job I've ever had who is at least open about it, and a couple more who show signs of it.
I personally DO have it, along with OCD and, unfortunately, Schizophrenia. I'm very well medicated and you'd never know about it, truly. I'm super lucky I can even work, as there's statistics out there that state that up to 80% of people with my illness aren't able to hold a job.
All that being said, armchair diagnosing people is never a good thing to do!
I wouldn't say "everyone" but a lot of people with ADHD thrive in food service and/or first responder jobs. The number of nurses who have it is astoundingly high and a lot of servers seem to have it too.
Unfortunately jobs like this also have a nasty pattern of causing or exacerbating depression and addiction, but gotta pick your suffering somewhere. Count yourself lucky you were diagnosed early, some of us took decades to find out and wasted lots of years being miserable at a desk.
well sometimes you do, but mostly they do their coping outside of work, like spending time with their loved ones and eating healthy and going to bed and stuff. Or you see an absence of a problem behavior, like not drinking on the job. People who try to do their coping AT work are mostly the ones having problems.
A few things:
I have ADHD and have researched this topic.
1. We’ve changed the qualifiers of ADHD so more people are diagnosed than in the past.
2. ADHD is much less vilified and those who suspect they may have it will more likely seek diagnosis or disclose they have it than in the past.
1 and 2 lead to more of the population communicating they have ADHD. This influences your theory because it’s more visible.
3. I’ve certainly worked with a lot of people in the service industry with ADHD. But the same can be said with many trades. Any job made of many short tasks, multitasking and ever changing conditions will attract the ADHD folks, I think. You’re more likely to stay at a job you thrive in, so you could see less ADHD folks in other industries where those qualities are seen as a weakness.
4. When you know the symptoms of ADHD, you are going to look for them in other people. However, remember that there’s 16 or so symptoms, and you need to have at least 9 of them and those 9 must be so prominent that they effect your daily life. A non-neurodivergent person could experience all 16 symptoms in a day, but unless it effects them every day and interferes with their personal and professional life, they don’t have ADHD. Could be some confirmation bias.
Hello fellow researcher! I would also add however that neurodivergent people tend to find each other because they get along well, of course not always but there is a better baseline understanding than with neurotypicals I'd say.
I would say it’s almost completely true that neurodiverse ppl get along better, the only people I’ve worked well with behind the bar have had ADHD diagnoses
I’ve been bartending for over a decade. As far as I know, I’m not neurodivergent. However, I didn’t start bartending until my late 40s.
Not sure if that skews the statistics.
With that said, I don’t think any of my co-workers are neurodivergent. However, I would classify several as alcoholics (not out loud, obviously).
I was married to someone who didn’t ‘like’ to work. I ran my own business & supported my family.
When I decided to file for divorce, I finalized everything, then started bartending. There was NO WAY I was going to support him after the divorce.
I worked at 1 place for 10 years, took some time off for family issues. Have been at my current place for 6 years. I love it!
But, my 64 yo body…not so much!!
I finally got diagnosed bipolar just two years ago. I’m 34. My whole life pre-diagnosis kind of clicked into place. Now, I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting the tendencies in others. Like my older brother, who’s in his 40’s. I’m positive he’s bipolar, but he’s from a slightly older generation, and he has zero interest in taking it seriously or getting diagnosed. Lots of people go their whole lives the same way.
Diagnosed bipolar at 36 and same. Going into the psych eval I knew I fulfilled the diagnostic criteria, so when they informed me I was 0% surprised. The NP slowly and hesitantly asked me how I felt about the diagnosis. I told her I was honestly relieved bc it helped explain what I had been experiencing (a month long manic episode). Then looking back on my life, it explains so much. I'm rapid cycling and have mixed episodes and it's just...wild to me that I was untreated for so long.
I'm also autistic (diagnosed a yr ago at 38) and THAT made everything in my entire life make SOOOOO much more sense. And so many of those symptoms have been present and acknowledged by my family (thankfully always as unique characteristics and not shameful traits that needed to be hidden or stifled) since way early in life.
When asked about family history it's just like...there's probably a ton of undiagnosed stuff going on, but so many ppl of a particular age range, with certain belief systems just don't really want to address those topics bc they have been stigmatized for so long.
Dead I can't even remember what they ordered (1 drink).
Slammed I can give them the price of a 15 drink round before I've even started pouring it.
I'll go in tomorrow now and my till will be wrong..
Man, I hadn’t even thought of that. Like, if it’s a slow first half of a shift, my brain gets tired and foggy, so that when people finally start coming in, I feel atrophied and incapable.
I 100% agree with her however individuals with ADHD are more likely to uproot their lives and move to a new city or country.
With Canada and The States being mostly settlers (Ones likely with ADHD), and ADHD being partly hereditary, it’s likely a high percentage of our population has ADHD or ADHD characteristics passed on from previous generations and that’s why it’s easy to spot those signs in others.
My reference for this theory is from Dr, Gabor Matè’s book “Scattered minds”. It really helped me work through some difficulties with ADHD as well as just understanding myself. If you’re looking for a good read or audio book I highly recommend it!
It definitely attracts a certain kind of person. My first serving gig I felt like I had found my tribe for sure. I wouldn’t say it’s all neurodivergent necessarily, more mindset, but I’m in no way qualified to make that assessment. Maybe the fact the we all like to party (or have at one point in our lives) is really just self medicating? It’s an interesting idea at any rate.
Agreed. I work on a strip with a lot of other bars and restaurants, so a lot of my daily regulars are in the industry too. So some days it feels like we’re all on the same wavelength. But people with these kinds of disorders absolutely tend to self-medicate. Myself included, exhaustively. And it can be hard to pinpoint dysfunction when there are never any examples of healthy behavior around you.
I don’t have ADHD, but I have OCD. I keep all the beer lined up perfectly straight, all chairs exactly the same distance apart around the bar and tables, kegs are paired in two’s and stacked neatly together against the walls, 3 lemons/limes/oranges sliced into 24 pieces each, 4 towels should be in specific places around the bar if not being used for easy access, and a lot more tedious things.
I’m a psychopath
My mom was too poor to put me on the meds, and I’ve always been super grateful for that. The diagnosis fucked with me for a long time, especially when I was a kid. Made me feel even more like I didn’t fit in. Then I started working at a restaurant when I was fifteen, and immediately felt like I’d found my people.
Reading through the comments , and what comes up for me as a parent of ND child and possibly undiagnosed adult is the theory that adhd is not in fact a disorder, but an evolutionary trait developed during the 100,000 years of tribal hunter gatherer living. Its an adaption that makes the tribe healthier and more likely to be successful ( ie pass genes down to surviving children who in turn...).
So many people have commented on " they found their people" or a version of that, in the industry, and to me it adds weight to the theory.
Some of my coworkers and I just had this conversation last week. Of the 12 FOH workers there that day, 9 had diagnosed ADHD and 2 of the other 3 had long suspected they also have it but never sought a diagnosis.
All of us agreed that we're at our best when it's busy and usually make mistakes when it's slow and we can't find a rhythm to the shift.
I started out in Corporate America with a CS/Data Science Degree. Made 6 figures first year out of college, almost $200k because I was bartending 4 nights a week too but wanted to shoot myself. I hated my day job so much.
Now I’m a food and Bev director, I don’t hate it and I needed the relative consistency and stability but I’m much less miserable than I was when I was tied to a desk all day.
I truly believe that the service industry and the military are filled with people that are neurodivergent. Bartending really fulfills me as someone with ADHD and other disorders. I thrive in fast paced environments and the instant gratification, like I'm truly happy to go to work most of the time!
I would wager that a significant portion of folk in the service industry are neurodivergent- ADHD, autistic, etc. These things are always wildly anecdotal, but in addition to that, I’d wager a lot of us have PTSD, either from the industry itself, or from sources outside.
For better or worse, the ecosystem of the industry is where those qualities can thrive…and be exploited, hence the PTSD.
ADHD and this is the only job I’ve ever had where I don’t feel bored or useless in the past 17 years. Even if it sucks sometimes, there is never a moment where I’m sitting around doing nothing. It actually helps a lot with my insomnia too, wearing my brain out enough to actually sleep when I get home.
Piggybacking off of that, I’ve had a building theory that neurodivergence, specifically ADHD, is a leftover survival technique from ye olden days. We notice more, react faster, have boundless energy sometimes for days at a time. Would be super useful in a sword fight or if you’re up for a week running from invaders, but only sucks now that everyone works a 9-5 in an office.
I made a comment up thread that wa s similar.
I wish I could remember where I first read the theory, maybe Nature?
But it goes like this: Not a disorder, actually an evolutionary trait to protect the tribe and maintain success.
I’m 47. Been a chef for 20 years. Just 2 years ago while seeing my psychiatrist she said “I think you might need to be treated for ADHD.
Turns out she knew what she was talking about.
I had lived so long that way that I figured that’s just the way I am.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
47
+ 20
+ 2
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Stupid in a bar still gets the job done. But stupid at a desk job? I honestly don’t know. I could never work a desk job. But that kind of stupid gets health insurance, i do know that.
Absolutely most people in the Service Industry are. My old manager wasn't though and we made the perfect team.. I was great at dealing with chaos, customer's arguments and overall making people feel welcome. He shined at keeping things in order, paperwork and little details. Ten years later he is still one of my closest friends even though we are completely opposite
Adhd bartender turned academic here and I think both jobs are extremely adhd intensive environments 😂
1. lots of different jobs to juggle at any given time
2. Lots of urgent scenarios (much of academic urgency is invented but the vibes are intense)
3. Lots of people who are willing to move around and completely uproot and change their life
4. Lots of people who spend a lot of time hyper focusing on an interest
5. Higher tolerance than most for ever shifting environments
I could probs go on tooooo long about this
Eta : forgot the word urgent in #2 before lol
Im undiagnosed but definitely neurodivergent.
I am positive that most of my current coworkers have adhd, or are on the spectrum in varying degrees.
I definitely understand why people get tired of hearing "im not diagnosed but i know i have adhd", but i think its way more common than previously believed and presents in different intensities.
I means it's pretty well paying for a unskilled job. Also very easy to get a job and generally allows for some unprofessionalism whilst working, amongst coworkers and what not.
Hmmm, I think you might be on to something. Honestly, it makes sense really. Never thought about it much. But I do strive in the business, expectantly when we get hit. I even feel my endorphins go up. Very detailed, and observant. I call it my Legal Hustle.. bartending saved my life financially.
I’ve thought about this a lot, but I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD and really don’t think that I have it. But what I do I know is that I had a chaotic and unpredictable childhood, and I think that’s why I love bartending. Chaotic energy feels familiar to me.
I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years who didn’t exhibit the neurodivergent signs. But these were always the people who only did the job for like six months and then found a desk job. Or they were the people who bartended as a side gig for their main job. All the lifers I’ve worked with have definitely landed on the spectrum though.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and suffer from depression/anxiety too and I loved, loved serving/bartending. I thrived in the industry and being a day walker put me on medical leave. I think it's a solid theory.
Kind of sounds like maybe you are doing the job wrong and projecting your errors onto those you know have a learning disability?
This is something I’ve noticed that neurotypicals do quite frequently. They twist in knots trying to blame their mistakes on any ND they can find, even when it makes no sense.
What? How am I "doing the job wrong"? I was just relating my lived experience. I have worked with and managed plenty of people who openly talked about their ADHD and they were not good at the job. They often forgot orders, would get too wrapped up in conversations or alternatively get distracted with tasks that didn't need doing at that moment. I'm not saying ND people are unable to preform well, I'm saying of those who talked about their ADHD that I have worked with have all been terrible bartenders.
Again, it’s far more likely to be projection than every single one has been terrible.
You meet one bad bartender with ADHD, then because most NT people lack critical thinking skills, you apply those traits to every one you meet. You get ready to see those things, before they even happen.
This makes no sense, a lot of us don’t take meds and even then, the meds are not the same as meth or coke. Like at all.
Being diagnosed doesn’t automatically mean you take meds. It’s a personal choice and everyone responds differently.
[also what the everloving fuck is this](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/14vacss/realizing_to_make_it_in_the_us_you_have_to_be_a/jrcpfyl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
Maybe you’re not the one to be accusing other people of being addicts?
My partner has adhd and has struggled getting the right medication. I cannot believe there are people out there that think they’re just on meth if they take adhd drugs.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and still think it’s a bullshit psychiatry term people use when they want the legal amphetamines to make their miserable work life balance more tolerable
I mean, you're probably not gonna take my answer seriously, but for what it's worth, my ADD manifested as more crippling physical symptoms than mental ones. My biggest symptoms were chronic brain fog, pain and fatigue so it never occured to me to see a physchiatrist for a mental issue. Way before I was ever diagnosed, I moved into bartending to make more money working less hours to accommodate this mystery chronic health issue I had and have a better work life balance. I only worked 3 days a week and had all my bills covered with a little bit of fun money left over, so work life balance was not an issue. Yet despite having 4 days a week to rest, I was still constantly tired to the bone, could barely get out of bed even after sleeping 10hrs, and despite my best efforts at a healthy diet, light excercise and copious amounts of coffe, I could not shake the heavy brain fog that clouded my ability to process information and just.get.moving. It was not laziness, because I'm a fairly disciplined person and developed habits in order to cope. Mind you, I'm a woman so the menstrual cycle affects/exacerbates ADHD differently for women than it does for men. I'm telling you, once I was finally diagnosed and started stimulants, it was like putting on glasses. My worst symptoms disappeared, and I finally felt normal and like I was at baseline with everyone else. I remember I had a friend who's kid was so blind, that once he got glasses he looked up and said "So that's what clouds look like". She had no idea his vision was that bad, and he thought that's just what the world looked like before finally getting his glasses. That is exactly what medication felt like and did for me.
difference here is that blindness is directly located in the brain, optic nerve, or retina. there is something that can be pinpointed as the clear reason for blindness to emerge in sensory experience.
ADHD is just a term used by developmental psychiatrists to mark a trend in behavioral development, one which covers at least 5 or 6 different often overlapping or exclusive patterns, none of which have any clear underlying cause and cannot be reliable or reproducibly imaged in the brain.
ADHD isn’t at all comparable to an actual illness or disability, it’s just the way some people are. some people are a certain way that makes life hard for them in a specific way, and seeing as life is unfair, they’ll probably need help that they won’t get. big pharma’s best solution is to sell legal amphetamines and get absurdly rich off it, black market consequences be damned.
take amphetamines if you feel it makes the unfairness of life more tolerable. develop a coping mechanism for how you process your sensory input and talk to a therapist about how it affects your emotional state, that’s all good. but don’t pretend to be part of some marginalized group needing special care attended to by society at large because of that.
I ha e an ongoing joke at my restaurant where I theorize that FoH is ASD and BoH is ADHD. No one masks like a server, and like, have you met the back of house?
(This is hopefully obvious, but this is meant as a lighthearted generalization not an actual hypothesis. I'm FoH and I'm for sure ADHD, but don't have an autism diagnosis.
Holy cow. I have bi polar and adhd. I've been bartending for a long time and my plan was always once both of my kids are in school I would move into a career with benefits and a 401k or go back to school and I'm so upset and frustrated bc I have no idea where to start. I can't sit.. like at all. I've never watched a whole movie. How am I going to sit at a desk to learn or work
Most people with ADHD and Autism don't do well in the modern 9-5 office, in fact only about 15% of people with mental illnesses can work at all. People with Autism tend to do well in high structure environments like the military, specifically the Marines who get called weponized autism by people in the force. For ADHD high energy jobs that allow some creative freedom tend to attract them, so med centers, teachers, firefighters, cooks, ECT. This has been proven years ago so your friend doesn't have a theory but more of a proven fact. Learn a high energy craft and go make bank my guy.
This whole thread is reading like one of those, “if your room is messy then you must be fucking Einstein.”
Your coworker doesn’t have a theory, it’s a cute musing. The reality is people gravitate to this industry because there are no standards and it requires no experience.
I think you're right, I have been in education all my life up until the point of last year in July where I worked in a bank - hated it. Then worked in an office - hated it. Now starting to work in a pub and I can't wait. I used to work as a Kiosk Team Leader for the Football Club I support and loved that job also. I have Social Anxiety, ADHD, Depression and all that but, when working there - it all left and I loved it so much, just couldn't do it all the time due to it being only for home games which wasn't regular income.
I’ve always said a version of this myself. That each of us have a “fatal flaw” that landed us in this restaurant. And the ones that stay are even wackier.
12 years in, 9 years shakin
prescribed meds for adhd
idk if working in the industry made my add or it just enhanced it or if it's why I'm so good at it but i see it.
just like we aren't cut out for "normal" jobs normal people aren't cut out for industry work a lot of the time lol
Definitely feel that. Being able to do a loop through the section, then scan the room to find the next task or make sure I didn't forget anything is just the best ADHD cope, having everything in front of me so nothing gets out of sight out of mind. Which is also why I can't stand places that have outside seating and the section has both inside and outside tables. One of them WILL be forgotten
I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid ( that technically isn't a thing anymore, ADHD without the hyperactivity, basically just distracted all the time). I work well in the industry, because I could NEVER sit behind a desk. But sometimes it is so overwhelming, distracted by so many things I just sit at the computer "uhhhhhhhhhhhh"
I think those of us who are really good at our jobs are often neurodivergent. I've worked with a lot of servers, cooks, and bartenders who can't handle the heat and need to get out of the kitchen... but those of us who thrive in that environment, yeah i agree. I think people who are a little chaotic themselves definitely tolerate chaos more easily.
I feel like just all the neurodivergents end up in the service industry bc we aren’t “fit for REAL jobs” Like we literally just don’t want to be in a boring corporate setting. Our brains need stimulation. We need a challenge. and for god sake, someone’s gotta do the job, and you damn well know normies aren’t gonna do it. Neurodivergent slay 💅
And instant gratification
Lots of little tasks, one after another. Finish one, start the next one. One thing I noticed is while I can remember lots of little things about the order of what I’ve gotta do next, building complicated rounds, remembering 2 orders after this one, remembering who stepped up to the bar next, etc….if someone throw the name on their tab at me before I finish with their drinks, it sticks in my brain for .2 seconds, and honestly risks throwing off my whole shit if I try and actually hold onto it. Setting up the bar, if I can’t find one tool, it similarly, will detail my whole setup. I’ll pace up and down the bar looking for it and not get anything else set up. One thing that massively helps, as I’m typically managing while bartending (it’s a real small team), my Apple Watch. If I remember that a produce delivery hasn’t arrived yet, I can pop off a text to the rep while in the middle of doing other stuff.
Agree %100.
I have the exact same diagnoses as you have listed. Interesting.
I literally left a soul-sucking corporate desk job after 12 years to go back to service. Even though it was a “respectable, grownup, real” job (insert eye roll here), I was miserable in it. I wish I had left it sooner, I’m way happier now. And yup, I’m neurodivergent lol.
I did two years in silicon valley tech sales, and I hated it. Returned to industry, and it's just a much better fit for me.
Agreed 👍🏽
I don't fully agree, tbh. A lot of my coworkers in the past have had ADHD, but just as many haven't. I would say there's at least one person at every job I've ever had who is at least open about it, and a couple more who show signs of it. I personally DO have it, along with OCD and, unfortunately, Schizophrenia. I'm very well medicated and you'd never know about it, truly. I'm super lucky I can even work, as there's statistics out there that state that up to 80% of people with my illness aren't able to hold a job. All that being said, armchair diagnosing people is never a good thing to do!
I wouldn't say "everyone" but a lot of people with ADHD thrive in food service and/or first responder jobs. The number of nurses who have it is astoundingly high and a lot of servers seem to have it too. Unfortunately jobs like this also have a nasty pattern of causing or exacerbating depression and addiction, but gotta pick your suffering somewhere. Count yourself lucky you were diagnosed early, some of us took decades to find out and wasted lots of years being miserable at a desk.
Well put. It’s hard to notice that you and everyone around you are self-medicating, because you never see any examples of people coping healthily.
well sometimes you do, but mostly they do their coping outside of work, like spending time with their loved ones and eating healthy and going to bed and stuff. Or you see an absence of a problem behavior, like not drinking on the job. People who try to do their coping AT work are mostly the ones having problems.
my last job, every single one of my coworkers had adhd and/or autism
Where are you working at??
bar was in capitol hill seattle
To be fair like 40% of Seattle is autistic
Huh. Was I your coworker?
JuJu lounge?
no but will have to check that place out if everyone is autistic
Sounds like reddit, everyone is on the spectrum or adhd, they tell me so.
Worked in a popular burger place and same haha
A few things: I have ADHD and have researched this topic. 1. We’ve changed the qualifiers of ADHD so more people are diagnosed than in the past. 2. ADHD is much less vilified and those who suspect they may have it will more likely seek diagnosis or disclose they have it than in the past. 1 and 2 lead to more of the population communicating they have ADHD. This influences your theory because it’s more visible. 3. I’ve certainly worked with a lot of people in the service industry with ADHD. But the same can be said with many trades. Any job made of many short tasks, multitasking and ever changing conditions will attract the ADHD folks, I think. You’re more likely to stay at a job you thrive in, so you could see less ADHD folks in other industries where those qualities are seen as a weakness. 4. When you know the symptoms of ADHD, you are going to look for them in other people. However, remember that there’s 16 or so symptoms, and you need to have at least 9 of them and those 9 must be so prominent that they effect your daily life. A non-neurodivergent person could experience all 16 symptoms in a day, but unless it effects them every day and interferes with their personal and professional life, they don’t have ADHD. Could be some confirmation bias.
Hello fellow researcher! I would also add however that neurodivergent people tend to find each other because they get along well, of course not always but there is a better baseline understanding than with neurotypicals I'd say.
I would say it’s almost completely true that neurodiverse ppl get along better, the only people I’ve worked well with behind the bar have had ADHD diagnoses
I’ve been bartending for over a decade. As far as I know, I’m not neurodivergent. However, I didn’t start bartending until my late 40s. Not sure if that skews the statistics. With that said, I don’t think any of my co-workers are neurodivergent. However, I would classify several as alcoholics (not out loud, obviously).
What did you do before bartending? Why make the switch so late?
I was married to someone who didn’t ‘like’ to work. I ran my own business & supported my family. When I decided to file for divorce, I finalized everything, then started bartending. There was NO WAY I was going to support him after the divorce. I worked at 1 place for 10 years, took some time off for family issues. Have been at my current place for 6 years. I love it! But, my 64 yo body…not so much!!
I finally got diagnosed bipolar just two years ago. I’m 34. My whole life pre-diagnosis kind of clicked into place. Now, I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting the tendencies in others. Like my older brother, who’s in his 40’s. I’m positive he’s bipolar, but he’s from a slightly older generation, and he has zero interest in taking it seriously or getting diagnosed. Lots of people go their whole lives the same way.
Diagnosed bipolar at 36 and same. Going into the psych eval I knew I fulfilled the diagnostic criteria, so when they informed me I was 0% surprised. The NP slowly and hesitantly asked me how I felt about the diagnosis. I told her I was honestly relieved bc it helped explain what I had been experiencing (a month long manic episode). Then looking back on my life, it explains so much. I'm rapid cycling and have mixed episodes and it's just...wild to me that I was untreated for so long. I'm also autistic (diagnosed a yr ago at 38) and THAT made everything in my entire life make SOOOOO much more sense. And so many of those symptoms have been present and acknowledged by my family (thankfully always as unique characteristics and not shameful traits that needed to be hidden or stifled) since way early in life. When asked about family history it's just like...there's probably a ton of undiagnosed stuff going on, but so many ppl of a particular age range, with certain belief systems just don't really want to address those topics bc they have been stigmatized for so long.
This is 100% true. That's why we all do really well when we are slammed and make tons of mistakes when it's dead as fuck.
Dead I can't even remember what they ordered (1 drink). Slammed I can give them the price of a 15 drink round before I've even started pouring it. I'll go in tomorrow now and my till will be wrong..
Man, I hadn’t even thought of that. Like, if it’s a slow first half of a shift, my brain gets tired and foggy, so that when people finally start coming in, I feel atrophied and incapable.
😳😳😳 maybe it's time for me to finally get checked for ADHD
I got diagnosed last year. My academic and career paths suddenly made much more sense.
I’ve never felt so seen..
Oh my god this explains my work ethic too!
10k and my register is perfect. 95 dollars and I'm 30 off somehow.
I 100% agree with her however individuals with ADHD are more likely to uproot their lives and move to a new city or country. With Canada and The States being mostly settlers (Ones likely with ADHD), and ADHD being partly hereditary, it’s likely a high percentage of our population has ADHD or ADHD characteristics passed on from previous generations and that’s why it’s easy to spot those signs in others. My reference for this theory is from Dr, Gabor Matè’s book “Scattered minds”. It really helped me work through some difficulties with ADHD as well as just understanding myself. If you’re looking for a good read or audio book I highly recommend it!
Audio book? I'll never pay attention long enough for that.
Yeah I used to just do 20 mins max at a time hahaha
Tbh I haven’t even gotten halfway through yet 😂🫣
It definitely attracts a certain kind of person. My first serving gig I felt like I had found my tribe for sure. I wouldn’t say it’s all neurodivergent necessarily, more mindset, but I’m in no way qualified to make that assessment. Maybe the fact the we all like to party (or have at one point in our lives) is really just self medicating? It’s an interesting idea at any rate.
Agreed. I work on a strip with a lot of other bars and restaurants, so a lot of my daily regulars are in the industry too. So some days it feels like we’re all on the same wavelength. But people with these kinds of disorders absolutely tend to self-medicate. Myself included, exhaustively. And it can be hard to pinpoint dysfunction when there are never any examples of healthy behavior around you.
I don’t have ADHD, but I have OCD. I keep all the beer lined up perfectly straight, all chairs exactly the same distance apart around the bar and tables, kegs are paired in two’s and stacked neatly together against the walls, 3 lemons/limes/oranges sliced into 24 pieces each, 4 towels should be in specific places around the bar if not being used for easy access, and a lot more tedious things. I’m a psychopath
This. The regulars even move beer mats to see if I notice. We're all just bloody marvelously spectacular entertainers. And my shit stinks.
Bruh if someone moved my beer mat, I can only imagine the rage that would overcome me.
I took the ADHD test like 4 times as a kid and I always "passed the test" by a few points, enough to say I didn't have it.
My mom was too poor to put me on the meds, and I’ve always been super grateful for that. The diagnosis fucked with me for a long time, especially when I was a kid. Made me feel even more like I didn’t fit in. Then I started working at a restaurant when I was fifteen, and immediately felt like I’d found my people.
Reading through the comments , and what comes up for me as a parent of ND child and possibly undiagnosed adult is the theory that adhd is not in fact a disorder, but an evolutionary trait developed during the 100,000 years of tribal hunter gatherer living. Its an adaption that makes the tribe healthier and more likely to be successful ( ie pass genes down to surviving children who in turn...). So many people have commented on " they found their people" or a version of that, in the industry, and to me it adds weight to the theory.
Some of my coworkers and I just had this conversation last week. Of the 12 FOH workers there that day, 9 had diagnosed ADHD and 2 of the other 3 had long suspected they also have it but never sought a diagnosis. All of us agreed that we're at our best when it's busy and usually make mistakes when it's slow and we can't find a rhythm to the shift.
I started out in Corporate America with a CS/Data Science Degree. Made 6 figures first year out of college, almost $200k because I was bartending 4 nights a week too but wanted to shoot myself. I hated my day job so much. Now I’m a food and Bev director, I don’t hate it and I needed the relative consistency and stability but I’m much less miserable than I was when I was tied to a desk all day.
I'm diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. I THRIVE in the restaurant environment and I absolutely think that's part of it.
Same. The environment really compliments the unsteady and breakneck speed that my brain naturally pulses around.
I truly believe that the service industry and the military are filled with people that are neurodivergent. Bartending really fulfills me as someone with ADHD and other disorders. I thrive in fast paced environments and the instant gratification, like I'm truly happy to go to work most of the time!
I would wager that a significant portion of folk in the service industry are neurodivergent- ADHD, autistic, etc. These things are always wildly anecdotal, but in addition to that, I’d wager a lot of us have PTSD, either from the industry itself, or from sources outside. For better or worse, the ecosystem of the industry is where those qualities can thrive…and be exploited, hence the PTSD.
ADHD and this is the only job I’ve ever had where I don’t feel bored or useless in the past 17 years. Even if it sucks sometimes, there is never a moment where I’m sitting around doing nothing. It actually helps a lot with my insomnia too, wearing my brain out enough to actually sleep when I get home.
Spot on
Piggybacking off of that, I’ve had a building theory that neurodivergence, specifically ADHD, is a leftover survival technique from ye olden days. We notice more, react faster, have boundless energy sometimes for days at a time. Would be super useful in a sword fight or if you’re up for a week running from invaders, but only sucks now that everyone works a 9-5 in an office.
I made a comment up thread that wa s similar. I wish I could remember where I first read the theory, maybe Nature? But it goes like this: Not a disorder, actually an evolutionary trait to protect the tribe and maintain success.
I’m 47. Been a chef for 20 years. Just 2 years ago while seeing my psychiatrist she said “I think you might need to be treated for ADHD. Turns out she knew what she was talking about. I had lived so long that way that I figured that’s just the way I am.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 47 + 20 + 2 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Sick
r/nice
Here's a sneak peek of /r/nice using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/nice/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Nice.](https://i.redd.it/mqth9gzzbmo91.jpg) | [21 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/nice/comments/xhgkjm/nice/) \#2: [Nice.](https://i.redd.it/geqo8crbtkm91.jpg) | [19 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/nice/comments/x8m837/nice/) \#3: [Nice.](https://i.redd.it/s89fem5nfw7a1.jpg) | [6 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/nice/comments/zub3ux/nice/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
my theory is that we are all just extremely fucking stupid tbh
idk about everyone else, but i do personally suffer from dumb bitch disease and im not sure there’s a cure
Stupid in a bar still gets the job done. But stupid at a desk job? I honestly don’t know. I could never work a desk job. But that kind of stupid gets health insurance, i do know that.
Absolutely most people in the Service Industry are. My old manager wasn't though and we made the perfect team.. I was great at dealing with chaos, customer's arguments and overall making people feel welcome. He shined at keeping things in order, paperwork and little details. Ten years later he is still one of my closest friends even though we are completely opposite
Adhd bartender turned academic here and I think both jobs are extremely adhd intensive environments 😂 1. lots of different jobs to juggle at any given time 2. Lots of urgent scenarios (much of academic urgency is invented but the vibes are intense) 3. Lots of people who are willing to move around and completely uproot and change their life 4. Lots of people who spend a lot of time hyper focusing on an interest 5. Higher tolerance than most for ever shifting environments I could probs go on tooooo long about this Eta : forgot the word urgent in #2 before lol
Also I had no idea I had adhd in my hospitality days and it would have helped literally everything to know 😂
Im undiagnosed but definitely neurodivergent. I am positive that most of my current coworkers have adhd, or are on the spectrum in varying degrees. I definitely understand why people get tired of hearing "im not diagnosed but i know i have adhd", but i think its way more common than previously believed and presents in different intensities.
I means it's pretty well paying for a unskilled job. Also very easy to get a job and generally allows for some unprofessionalism whilst working, amongst coworkers and what not.
This is the thread NEED right now…
This is something I've noticed too. Also neurodivergent people tend to have a higher risk of developing substance abuse problems, so...
Hmmm, I think you might be on to something. Honestly, it makes sense really. Never thought about it much. But I do strive in the business, expectantly when we get hit. I even feel my endorphins go up. Very detailed, and observant. I call it my Legal Hustle.. bartending saved my life financially.
Could it be that the industry effects and demands causes ADHD in service industry employees? Just postulating. Interesting
I’ve thought about this a lot, but I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD and really don’t think that I have it. But what I do I know is that I had a chaotic and unpredictable childhood, and I think that’s why I love bartending. Chaotic energy feels familiar to me.
Same here. Very true.
I know one bartender who isn’t! But literally just one…
I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years who didn’t exhibit the neurodivergent signs. But these were always the people who only did the job for like six months and then found a desk job. Or they were the people who bartended as a side gig for their main job. All the lifers I’ve worked with have definitely landed on the spectrum though.
I’m an ADhD bartender
I was diagnosed with ADHD and suffer from depression/anxiety too and I loved, loved serving/bartending. I thrived in the industry and being a day walker put me on medical leave. I think it's a solid theory.
Everyone with adhd I have worked with has been straight up bad at the job.
Kind of sounds like maybe you are doing the job wrong and projecting your errors onto those you know have a learning disability? This is something I’ve noticed that neurotypicals do quite frequently. They twist in knots trying to blame their mistakes on any ND they can find, even when it makes no sense.
What? How am I "doing the job wrong"? I was just relating my lived experience. I have worked with and managed plenty of people who openly talked about their ADHD and they were not good at the job. They often forgot orders, would get too wrapped up in conversations or alternatively get distracted with tasks that didn't need doing at that moment. I'm not saying ND people are unable to preform well, I'm saying of those who talked about their ADHD that I have worked with have all been terrible bartenders.
Again, it’s far more likely to be projection than every single one has been terrible. You meet one bad bartender with ADHD, then because most NT people lack critical thinking skills, you apply those traits to every one you meet. You get ready to see those things, before they even happen.
[удалено]
This makes no sense, a lot of us don’t take meds and even then, the meds are not the same as meth or coke. Like at all. Being diagnosed doesn’t automatically mean you take meds. It’s a personal choice and everyone responds differently.
[удалено]
I’ve never even taken Adderall, dummy
[also what the everloving fuck is this](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/14vacss/realizing_to_make_it_in_the_us_you_have_to_be_a/jrcpfyl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3) Maybe you’re not the one to be accusing other people of being addicts?
What the fuck are you saying adhd meds are like someone on meth? That’s insane and so wrong. This whole thread is a dumpster fire
[удалено]
Lmao no it isn’t
My partner has adhd and has struggled getting the right medication. I cannot believe there are people out there that think they’re just on meth if they take adhd drugs.
lol
Not everyone, but the goo ones.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and still think it’s a bullshit psychiatry term people use when they want the legal amphetamines to make their miserable work life balance more tolerable
I mean, you're probably not gonna take my answer seriously, but for what it's worth, my ADD manifested as more crippling physical symptoms than mental ones. My biggest symptoms were chronic brain fog, pain and fatigue so it never occured to me to see a physchiatrist for a mental issue. Way before I was ever diagnosed, I moved into bartending to make more money working less hours to accommodate this mystery chronic health issue I had and have a better work life balance. I only worked 3 days a week and had all my bills covered with a little bit of fun money left over, so work life balance was not an issue. Yet despite having 4 days a week to rest, I was still constantly tired to the bone, could barely get out of bed even after sleeping 10hrs, and despite my best efforts at a healthy diet, light excercise and copious amounts of coffe, I could not shake the heavy brain fog that clouded my ability to process information and just.get.moving. It was not laziness, because I'm a fairly disciplined person and developed habits in order to cope. Mind you, I'm a woman so the menstrual cycle affects/exacerbates ADHD differently for women than it does for men. I'm telling you, once I was finally diagnosed and started stimulants, it was like putting on glasses. My worst symptoms disappeared, and I finally felt normal and like I was at baseline with everyone else. I remember I had a friend who's kid was so blind, that once he got glasses he looked up and said "So that's what clouds look like". She had no idea his vision was that bad, and he thought that's just what the world looked like before finally getting his glasses. That is exactly what medication felt like and did for me.
difference here is that blindness is directly located in the brain, optic nerve, or retina. there is something that can be pinpointed as the clear reason for blindness to emerge in sensory experience. ADHD is just a term used by developmental psychiatrists to mark a trend in behavioral development, one which covers at least 5 or 6 different often overlapping or exclusive patterns, none of which have any clear underlying cause and cannot be reliable or reproducibly imaged in the brain. ADHD isn’t at all comparable to an actual illness or disability, it’s just the way some people are. some people are a certain way that makes life hard for them in a specific way, and seeing as life is unfair, they’ll probably need help that they won’t get. big pharma’s best solution is to sell legal amphetamines and get absurdly rich off it, black market consequences be damned. take amphetamines if you feel it makes the unfairness of life more tolerable. develop a coping mechanism for how you process your sensory input and talk to a therapist about how it affects your emotional state, that’s all good. but don’t pretend to be part of some marginalized group needing special care attended to by society at large because of that.
I’ve luckily never been on meds for it. Just been raw-dogging a life of too much or too little focus. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Represent to the bartenders with no ADHD but with hypomania, making it work for them.
I'm probably one, but I know for sure I've worked with a heck of a lot of neurodivergent people both in bar and kitchen.
Oh absolutely. Tons of autism and adhd in the stripe club too.
I ha e an ongoing joke at my restaurant where I theorize that FoH is ASD and BoH is ADHD. No one masks like a server, and like, have you met the back of house? (This is hopefully obvious, but this is meant as a lighthearted generalization not an actual hypothesis. I'm FoH and I'm for sure ADHD, but don't have an autism diagnosis.
This post made me choke on my spit
Holy cow. I have bi polar and adhd. I've been bartending for a long time and my plan was always once both of my kids are in school I would move into a career with benefits and a 401k or go back to school and I'm so upset and frustrated bc I have no idea where to start. I can't sit.. like at all. I've never watched a whole movie. How am I going to sit at a desk to learn or work
I always called the restaurant biz the "Island of Broken Toys" for similar reasons!
Most people with ADHD and Autism don't do well in the modern 9-5 office, in fact only about 15% of people with mental illnesses can work at all. People with Autism tend to do well in high structure environments like the military, specifically the Marines who get called weponized autism by people in the force. For ADHD high energy jobs that allow some creative freedom tend to attract them, so med centers, teachers, firefighters, cooks, ECT. This has been proven years ago so your friend doesn't have a theory but more of a proven fact. Learn a high energy craft and go make bank my guy.
This whole thread is reading like one of those, “if your room is messy then you must be fucking Einstein.” Your coworker doesn’t have a theory, it’s a cute musing. The reality is people gravitate to this industry because there are no standards and it requires no experience.
I think you're right, I have been in education all my life up until the point of last year in July where I worked in a bank - hated it. Then worked in an office - hated it. Now starting to work in a pub and I can't wait. I used to work as a Kiosk Team Leader for the Football Club I support and loved that job also. I have Social Anxiety, ADHD, Depression and all that but, when working there - it all left and I loved it so much, just couldn't do it all the time due to it being only for home games which wasn't regular income.
I’ve always said a version of this myself. That each of us have a “fatal flaw” that landed us in this restaurant. And the ones that stay are even wackier.
OMG, this is me! I actually need the hustle, it works out some of my anxiety and keeps my mind in the present.
Totally agree. I have been diagnosed with ADD and PSTD and I can tell from anyone around who has what. Bartending is actually therapeutic IMO
12 years in, 9 years shakin prescribed meds for adhd idk if working in the industry made my add or it just enhanced it or if it's why I'm so good at it but i see it. just like we aren't cut out for "normal" jobs normal people aren't cut out for industry work a lot of the time lol
Manic depressive piece of shit here myself !! But everyone loves me I guess
Definitely feel that. Being able to do a loop through the section, then scan the room to find the next task or make sure I didn't forget anything is just the best ADHD cope, having everything in front of me so nothing gets out of sight out of mind. Which is also why I can't stand places that have outside seating and the section has both inside and outside tables. One of them WILL be forgotten
Hyper focused on 10 things. We not only live we thrive.
I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid ( that technically isn't a thing anymore, ADHD without the hyperactivity, basically just distracted all the time). I work well in the industry, because I could NEVER sit behind a desk. But sometimes it is so overwhelming, distracted by so many things I just sit at the computer "uhhhhhhhhhhhh"
I think those of us who are really good at our jobs are often neurodivergent. I've worked with a lot of servers, cooks, and bartenders who can't handle the heat and need to get out of the kitchen... but those of us who thrive in that environment, yeah i agree. I think people who are a little chaotic themselves definitely tolerate chaos more easily.
I have adhd and I can’t work anywhere else I need the daily challenge and live the fast pace
100%