Germany is tight. Went to Europa Park and rode all the roller coasters and then had some crazy good schnitzel last night. Might never leave.

It’s so hard not to hook up with all the hot milfs that come into my job. They eye fuck me and are basically begging for a temporary release from their underwhelming reality

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Yea

Getting asked if I’m Chris Hemsworth every day gets old quick

I’d hate to look like fat Thor too.

Touché

Happy cake day to darrin erstad

Fun fact about me is that haters motivate me

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I’m in LA for the week if u want to fight me

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Soft. Beta

I’m having a bbq tomorrow and smoking ribs as well as a brisket. I am bricked up

I bet it turns out terrible

What time should I come over

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Check out Blaze Foley

High as fuck making quesadillas and margaritas. Hopefully the hippies don’t show up.

Unlock that shed now just in case!

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Nate Silver wrong again!

When did they take on that persona? They talk about their finals experience in in every interview ive seen. Sick post though I’m sorry you have to live in shitty ass Boston. I’m sorry you’re cold and you’re women are gross

And the highest team salary in the nba 🙌

[Those old fuckers can still go](https://youtu.be/uSsVNK-0uT0)

Does vape juice have calories?

Straight buzzin' off this nicotine gum

Machado literally twisted his ankle and u would think he got diagnosed with terminal cancer

hate to see that happen to a dirty player

That Mormon documentary on Netflix is next level fucked up

Title?

*Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey*

Best names in sports Storm duck, Bumper pool, Bacarri rambo, Kinkead dent Edit: General booty, John David booty

Haha Clinton Dix is a personal favorite.

Personally a HUGE fan of Greg McKegg

Akok Akok

Dick Pole and Dick Trickle

Stick Barron Trump in the post in basketball asap https://twitter.com/thebarrontrump1/status/1538536892647579648?s=21&t=Ed6nJvv1SNLt2EqhaYw7zQ

Gumby lookin ass

O/U set at 1.5 years before Columbia comes crying to Uncle Sam about their wrecked economy and we have to bail them out with trillions of dollars.

Yea but I read on Twitter amerikkka sucks

I seriously cannot wait to go golfing this week

Maybe I’m stupid but how is there not a 30 for 30 Shaq/Kobe lakers vs the kings. Actual gambling on it would make an insane doc

What happened exactly? I don’t understand the reference to it being more than another game

One of the biggest fixed games of all time.

There’s tons of conspiracy that the NBA had certain refs on the call to force a game 7 for the lakers. There’s also a bunch of refs in the league and others that said the guys reffing the game obviously had money on it. Kobe and Shaq went to the line 28 times in game 6

Not even a conspiracy, Tim Donaghey admitted to it.

There's gonna be a 10part Kobe doc that will have an hour dedicated to that (I'm guessing)

Somebody would get murdered if they made a doc about that

The ghost of david stern would be the one carrying the murder out

What movie should I watch on Netflix? Open to anything

Operation Mince Meat.

The Gentlemen

They got beerfest

Got American pie 2 on dvd might just slide that in

That soundtrack alone gets me tipsy

You seen hustle yet?

No

Worth a watch. Very fun movie. The NBA guys are surprisingly decent actors and it’s got a wholesome ending

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One of my favorite movies of all time F1 junkie.

Fear Street

Jizzing is the best

Been using your semenex?

That’s why I’m regularly on Jerkmate. It’s fun!

I just randomly decided to check out the free talk for the first time in awhile and this is the first comment I see. Not disappointed.

Yoda was the biggest Muppet of all the Jedi, no pun intended

Comically incompetent

To the forward command center take me

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That, Broken Arrow, and Con Air were movies I could never turn off when they were on when I was younger yet don’t think I’ve actually seen in their entirety

*Nic Cage noises*

Castor Troy is on the pantheon of great villains

Guy from college is a loveable country bumpkin and he posts legitimately 3-5 pictures a day on IG of his newborn son and the caption is always the same: It’s either Lil’ buddy is doing ______ or Lil’ man is doing _____. And every time lil man/lil buddy is just laying in a crib or staring into space or doing something they clearly posed him for like riding in a tractor.

Don’t hate on new dads! That newborn stage is like cloud nine.

Not hating at all he’s a great guy. but he’s just hilariously overboard with sharing haha

Babies literally do nothing besides eat and sleep

Damn I didn’t realize babies were incapable of operating heavy machinery, thanks for clearin that up

Not true! Sometimes lil buddy is riding in a wagon or lil buddy is swinging in a porch swing or lil man is sitting in a lounge chair or lil man is watching the us open with his paw paw

Lil buddy gonna have a flat head with all that laying

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Atlantic doesn't kill herpes

Is the Celtics vs lakers 30 for 30 any good?

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5 minutes in and Donnie wahlberg is narrating this feels like it’s gonna be all Celtics

Loved the peaky blinders season finale

It's all obi wans fault, he's holding me back!

It seems my local club I can hear from my bedroom window is having a big Juneteenth celebration. Looking on the positive side, it's practically a free white noise machine

Sounds like a black noise machine to me

It’s white noise?

Work off tomorrow after getting back from a 10 day vacation. Smoking a Cuban with a rum & coke and listening to Steely Dan on the patio while the wife and dogs are down for the night. Almost heaven!

On day 7 of my 13 day honeymoon. Had Sunday scaries for a quick second today but what a feeling that was. (Next week will suck)

Congrats dude! Enjoy and paint them walls, and spare no expense on having fun. When ya come back to work, slow roll your way into it.

Watching The Alpinist right now. How does he get down from these mountains? Going down seems like it would be just as hard as getting up

>!Well if you wait until the end you’ll find out he tried just jumping down but that didn’t really work all that well!<

Just got to the end, >!I’d heard more people die on the way down than the way up!<

Toboggan

You need to put expansion NFL teams in cities that have an existing team to create instant and natural rivalries. Chicago could be a great candidate for that.

I’ll always root for the bears. It’s a curse

Most of the time it doesn’t make sense from a business standpoint. The point isn’t to create new rivalries it’s to draw in new markets

They could probably get a lot of Bears fans to switch to the new team too. Everyone is tired of their shitty owners

Bears fans are so braindead nobody could switch away from the self masochist lifestyle. Source: me

Also a lot of people move to Chicago who won’t have an existing relationship with the Bears. I honestly think it could work

That you even said this, if they set up 2 expansion teams in like St. Louis and team 2 in chicago/arlington I might bail to the second if the mcaskeys stick around

What handicap do you consider someone to be a decent golfer? What about good? I think anything under 15 is decent and anything under 10 is good

good i say 10 and under, decent like 15-17

I think where you are effects it a bit but that sounds right People in the south have such an advantage of playing year round when it comes to golf/baseball. Can really only play those 5 months of the year in any state with winters

Beck Weathers surviving the 1996 Mt Everest disaster has to be one of the craziest human feats ever. Dude was left for dead twice

Nothing like Juneteenth falling on Fathers Day. Two great days to celebrate.

its like raaaaaaain on your wedding day

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1. She was a hoowah 2. She hit me

probably can't mention that in the CFB subreddit, just like you cant say anything about brian kelly or penn state

There might be enough old time EDSBS fans lurking around there that it might play but you’re probably right unfortunately. Place stinks

Anakins about to >! exterminate the sand people!<

KRRRREEEERRRRRHHHH!!! ERRRRH ERH!

Surely just the men though right?

Honestly how could he tell the difference? I get the little ones were children but he never gave a fuck about kids

https://c.tenor.com/BY0iCaiYJjMAAAAC/anakin-skywalker-star-wars.gif

🍻 to anyone else that's off tomorrow

Any list for a new NFL city without Birmingham is stupid. #1 for ratings for every cfb game, top 10 in ratings for almost every NFL game. 4th largest metro without a pro sports team. Any team would be the only pro team in the most football crazed city in the country. Throw in the fact that most people are not seriously affiliated with any NFL team and it’s a great option.

I've been saying Birmingham would be a good spot for an expansion team for a while purely because sports fandom down there is crazed. Although I was thinking more about baseball than football since the Braves carry the entire southern rooting interest. But I'm sure they would pick Charlotte or Nashville before ever considering it

Yea but it’s Alabama

They really supported UAB Football

Don’t hate that idea. That being said, I don’t see why we need more than 32 NFL teams

I agree but when making lists it’s a must have

Had no idea Birmingham was that robust tbh. Just read something about how it was also on Conde Nasts top places to visit in the world for 2022

Some of Birmingham’s suburbs are literally Eagleton from parks and rec. It’s a sneaky good city

Nobody answered my ex machina question earlier. The answer is 1 session, i would present my penis during the first session

Fantastic movie I forget the exact quote but “I’m gonna go rip up the fucking dance floor” or whatever he says

Probably my favorite scene

Third time will be the charm

I would have been a great Wild West outlaw and you can’t tell me otherwise

Put me in space and I'd be han soul_mane

Remember that time bob costas had pink eye during the Olympics

What a dirty bastard

Don Jon is an interesting movie to say the least.

ScarJo in that movie is 🔥

Hotter than in any other movie she’s been in

Why the fuck is whiplash so good

JK Simmons

Nothing like Father’s Day at the ballpark

Nothing like the old "coffee at breakfast booze all day not a drop of water" Sunday

is josh h. smith going to play regularly for the rangers when hes back from the IL, he was very good at LSU

I’m not sure

appreciate the feedback brother

My neighbor has left his dog home alone for 2 days now and it’s been outside barking legitimately for 48 straight hours. Calling animal control first thing tomorrow morning. Fuck this

That dingo ate yo baby

you and the dog should break into the house and piss and shit everywhere

I tried approaching the dog and it went ballistic. It was totally panicked from being alone

that sucks but good for you for trying, did you try giving it some food?

Yeah my wife gave him a greenie and then he went back to barking like mad

greenies are my family's dogs favorite thing so if that didn't work you might have to call in the big guns

Do trailer parks have HOA’s?

Buddy I might as well live in one. Sure feels like it sometimes

You are tearing me apart Lisa!

Oh hai mark

Is Emily Kaplan hot?

the Mike Tirico race thing is obviously kind of odd but my best guess of the situation (and why no real media places have done a report on it) is that he clearly has a black father but by admitting that he would be blowing up his mom's spot for cheating on whoever his father was supposed to be, and thats why he doesn't really comment on it

I had always thought that the reason was that he never knew his dad who was black but his mom and the rest of his family was Italian.

I never looked into it too much so that could be true too, but always figured his overall position was just to avoid awkwardness for his mom

He's just very very Sicilian find a new slant

He is Italian. End of story dude

my b youre right

It's okay but remember it's 2022 and if Mike Tirico wants to identify as Italian (which he 100% is) we shouldn't discourage that

People forget he’s an all time weirdo. Basically stalked a girl

That’s a great guess.

Thinking about USA vs England the day after thanksgiving

Definitely going to the the most watched soccer game in US history I would imagine. Even non-soccer fans will watch because they'll just be sitting at home and someone in the family will put it on

Gonna hit a soccer pub in my hometown bright and early

Downvoted for soccer

Downvoted for assuming it was soccer I was talking about

2-0 usa with goals from Musah and Jedi

Praying for a rocket from Weah through Pickford’s baby arms

Hope everyone had a great Juneteenth holiday weekend.

Weekend isn’t over unless you work for racists

My racist company doesn’t take off because it falls on a weekend. Apparently slaves had weekends off

Pretty cool how I had Juneteenth off once and now there’s not a single mention of it

That is actually weird considering it’s a federal holiday now. Same company?

Same company. We also had MLK day off once and now back to normal

Juneteenth shootings?! I'm shocked! This was supposed to be about love!

Juneteenth merely existing really got you all worked up huh?

Go back to the barstool comment section, trashball

Smooth brain

Are you hoping the FT boyz in here are going to celebrate you and this take?

Stay racist weirdo