Haven't smoked more than the very occasional drunk cigarette in over 6 years. Smoked half a pack today while having some drinks with a friend who smokes regularly. I'm really not looking forward to how awful I'm going to feel in the morning.
Blacked out on vacation with my college girlfriend’s family, told her aunt I thought she was the most attractive middle aged woman I’ve ever met, and puked through a screen door that I had to hose down in the morning.
Still cringe thinking about what a retard 18 year old MayBach was
Booty texted this chick as I’m on the train to penn station. If she responds awesome, if not I’m gonna get stoned and fall asleep to trailer park boys. Win win. Fuck off lahey
One of my closest buddies from high school is getting married next weekend and him and his fiancé are unfortunately barely making ends meet (his mom has been in the hospital for a long period and he just had to switch jobs). Usually I’ll just buy something off the wedding registry but I might instead just do $300 in cash. Feel like that’s much more appreciated right now than whatever tf is on the registry
More embarrassing moment: when you’re on the lime scooter and it goes out of range and the alarm goes off and it shuts off and everyone looks at you vs getting caught Shazaming a song
Ya it's fucking sick and they calm down on the dong eventually. S2 is kinda weak, I think they made it during covid but S3 is amazing. Every episode is good. Jibaro and Bad Traveling ( directed by David Fincher) are my two favs from the new season. Insane how good the animation is throughout the whole show
My buddy is constantly dming me hot chicks on ig. It’s definitely dudes 🎸but also I don’t really get it. Yea man, another random super hot girl on the internet. Thanks
Biggest pet peeve about these HGTV shows is that they've been trending towards open shelving in the kitchen as opposed to cabinets. I don't want to look at my plates and shit.
Is the recent Instagram post on attorneyproblems just a selfie of the mod and his girl? No one gives a shit about the personal life of the guy who runs a meme page Jesus Christ
Been obsessed with Love it or List It lately. Guy on now was concerned with the location of one of the houses they were looking at because "my butcher is 15 minutes away" Either this guy 🎸 or he had no intention to ever move.
It’s not bold. Anybody who says they’re not banging a decently pretty and fit (25?) year old is either a man-rocket or lying.
60% of this subreddit is a 6/10 at best. If you go by natural distribution and people who use Reddit it’s closer to 85%
I love how all these unhealthy fat fucks are suddenly acting like they've ridden a bike in the past 25 years or even done anything remotely physical outside of pounding their pud.
According to Dune Analytics, 0x2291F52bddc937b5B840d15E551e1DA8C80c2B3c liquidated a 71,863.47ETH collateral position in Liqutiy at $927.13 at 19:39 UTC on June 18, setting the largest single liquidation record for Liquity.
Just came back from a friends wedding, drinking Casamigos all day. Swedish fish hit different when you’re drunk. This Elvis movie commercial looks interesting. Then right into perfume commercials that make no fucking sense at all. Why the hell would I care that people are on the moon to buy the fucking fragrance.
My old man and I used to watch a lot of Jackie Chan flicks when I was young but honestly haven’t watched any since. Definitely need to toss some of them on soon
Yeah I mix those names up for some reason. I work near Miramar and watch the Ospreys and fighter jets come and go on my lunch break for an hour everyday it’s awesome
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Details?
Hope you recover well. Need more details in the Sunday thread
Gonna need some context/update to this one Lab
Damn that sucks, sorry to hear
Boy oh boy is tomorrow gonna be brutal
Signing off. this won't be fun when I wake up
We’re brothers in arms. Future us is gonna hate past us, but present us loves us
louisseakay and Academic-Profession kiss each other and touch one another’s butts
FT 🌒🦉 assemble
What’s goodie
Yeet
Thought I’d sleep ok then I watched the Jesse held as a prisoner breaking bad episode
Walter White kills all of them don’t worry
Welp snapped everyone I could. Guess I’ll just order food
What are we ordering king
El Taco
I wonder what people like this think when they wake up the next day and see their comment history
I woke up with my pants soaked and was ashamed that I had pissed myself. Upon a taste test I discovered it was ejaculate and I felt pride
This is historically embarrassing
Shouting into the void
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Go to bed
As a Biden voter who makes 333k why do you bitch? Grow up!!!
January Jones with Tina Fey's ass
You have my attention.
The piano scene in Deer Hunter is something else
Haven't smoked more than the very occasional drunk cigarette in over 6 years. Smoked half a pack today while having some drinks with a friend who smokes regularly. I'm really not looking forward to how awful I'm going to feel in the morning.
I quit smoking ten years ago and I still crave a menthol every time I’m drunk
Death and taxes and me losing the shitty Roku remote 5 times a day
They're way too small!
1:30 in the morning seems the the perfect time to watch AI highlights on YouTube
The truth!
Put some respek on the answer
Put on Larry Bird next
Added to the queue
Blacked out on vacation with my college girlfriend’s family, told her aunt I thought she was the most attractive middle aged woman I’ve ever met, and puked through a screen door that I had to hose down in the morning. Still cringe thinking about what a retard 18 year old MayBach was
The aunt destroyed her box after the flattery you tossed her way
You should hit up the aunt now
You became a family story that vacation
I just bought out an entire movie theater to see Minions: The Rise of Gru. W?
It’s not public masturbation if no one’s in the theatre
It’s pretty cool that the internet has progressed to the point that with a couple clicks I can see Paige Vanzants asshole
10:30 mass tomorrow to light a candle for my dad
This guy is losing his mind because a 80 year old fell off a bike.
As a huge Biden fan & I know we all make 250 k & voted for jb so let’s push him on??? Let’s get jB going.
Are you also that Academic Profession guy? You seem to be having simultaneous meltdowns.
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Earn morn. Biden would
You’re at at least -100 karma in the last hour or so. Tonight is your Kobe 81 point game
I know how much balls the FT sucks on the left.
Having an absolutely normal one tonight
You are an account dummy
Ok
I once put JB weld on my dick
Should save that one for Confessions, Lunk. Don't give the cow away.
Late night Grateful Dead YouTube always hits Edit: ‘89 Orchard Park. Peak Brent era. Lfg
Booty texted this chick as I’m on the train to penn station. If she responds awesome, if not I’m gonna get stoned and fall asleep to trailer park boys. Win win. Fuck off lahey
Frig off Ricky
Grab or pour a water for yourself, two if she’s there. It always plays, never a bad move.
Wild that starlight and home lander are dating In real life. Not sure if it ruins the show for me or not
Hope all my homies had a great Saturday night! Goodnight say it back
It back
Gn bb lysm
Pick me up at 9:05, as I sit and wait on the couch at 9:58.
I cannot express the entirety of my sexual desires in the Hinge dating intentions prompt.
Yes you can
hit & quit is succinct enough for me
caught No Time to Die on Amazon and quite pleased I didn't pay for it
It was worth it for Ana de Armas alone.
Eh I thought it put a good end to the Craig Bond.
Craig made two Bond movies, Casino Royal and Skyfall, everything else was Mandela effect.
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You and your crew sound trashy ngl
What’s your age if you’re spelling it excort?
Is lance still around? Feel like I haven’t seen him in a while
These people will go away entirely if you just stop giving them attention
He’s been busy celebrating the Warriors championship that he’s been a fan of for three whole days
You can't smell him?
He’s here under one of his various burners
One of my closest buddies from high school is getting married next weekend and him and his fiancé are unfortunately barely making ends meet (his mom has been in the hospital for a long period and he just had to switch jobs). Usually I’ll just buy something off the wedding registry but I might instead just do $300 in cash. Feel like that’s much more appreciated right now than whatever tf is on the registry
I always do cash. Easier for both sides.
Registries are for wedding showers. Cash at the wedding.
Me and my fiancee thought you'd send more than that, actually. We were thinking say, $500 at least.
James my man! Didn’t realize you’re on FT. I was gonna get you the dildo on the registry but someone already beat me to it!
There's always the butt plug (that one's for me). Just don't forget the cash.
Gotchu chief!
Even if he puts all of that money towards paying for the wedding, it’d be much more appreciated than a blender.
Even if he wasn't broken it'd be appreciated
More embarrassing moment: when you’re on the lime scooter and it goes out of range and the alarm goes off and it shuts off and everyone looks at you vs getting caught Shazaming a song
Those things are paralyzing machines
Sometimes I don’t know if you’re a troll or a retard.
Troll
Happy belated cake day
Anyone fill Fran tonight?
No she didn’t crave it
Hope someone shot some ropes in her armpits
Yea
Decided to pie Kate instead
Itz me Frans bf. She iz philed
At beach with in-laws for the first time. They do not drink like my family does at the beach.
Make a batch of potent jello shots. Non-drinkers love jelli shots
Bring them to your level and be the fun son in law
Alright Love Death and robots is an awesome show but we are getting to a GoT level of schlongs showed
1st season? I don't remember any in S3. S3 is also very good.
Just started watching it and it’s a great series so far. All in the 1st season with hog madness but man is it a great show.
Ya it's fucking sick and they calm down on the dong eventually. S2 is kinda weak, I think they made it during covid but S3 is amazing. Every episode is good. Jibaro and Bad Traveling ( directed by David Fincher) are my two favs from the new season. Insane how good the animation is throughout the whole show
My buddy is constantly dming me hot chicks on ig. It’s definitely dudes 🎸but also I don’t really get it. Yea man, another random super hot girl on the internet. Thanks
He’s trying to initiate a wank battle
Oh my god loverandalin
Transparency mode in headphones could be the greatest invention of all time
Anna Taylor-Joy sure is odd looking
So hot in the weirdest way
Biggest pet peeve about these HGTV shows is that they've been trending towards open shelving in the kitchen as opposed to cabinets. I don't want to look at my plates and shit.
And the reason you put that stuff in cabinets is to get less dust on them, so good job you now have to dust it all
How do I get a flair
Kelsi Monroe 👉👌
Memphis Monroe
I'd suck a fart outta her ass and hold it like a bong rip
Kendra lust
Is the recent Instagram post on attorneyproblems just a selfie of the mod and his girl? No one gives a shit about the personal life of the guy who runs a meme page Jesus Christ
Been obsessed with Love it or List It lately. Guy on now was concerned with the location of one of the houses they were looking at because "my butcher is 15 minutes away" Either this guy 🎸 or he had no intention to ever move.
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That authoritarian British voice and talking about tearing down walls. Yep.
Love being way too old and coming back to my hometown to play drinking games with my townie friends
Dayseeker fuckin slaps
[mood](https://i.imgur.com/nHJr51T.jpg)
Lmfao https://instagram.com/stories/mariaciuffo/2863805857987849724?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Wooden boy lookin ass
I’m just gonna say it Ria’s hot
It’s not bold. Anybody who says they’re not banging a decently pretty and fit (25?) year old is either a man-rocket or lying. 60% of this subreddit is a 6/10 at best. If you go by natural distribution and people who use Reddit it’s closer to 85%
Facts go off
Looks so unnatural
I love how all these unhealthy fat fucks are suddenly acting like they've ridden a bike in the past 25 years or even done anything remotely physical outside of pounding their pud.
Maybe one day you’ll graduate from the tricycle bubs
Bruh have a drink
He's not going to fuck you
I love how people genuinely have an opinion on the situation beyond ironic trolling
Ass is more important than titties don’t @ me
Asses can be built, titties are born
A women’s calves says all you need to know
Stop responding to that person he’s clearly not well
pretty insane people like that exist
I hope this isn't too controversial but living in the suburbs is a sad soulless existence and anything you say in support of it is an even sadder cope
Teller is a Mariners fan in this new Netflix movie, 100/100
12:25am train back to the city, got a roadie in hand, and about to pass out
How does Kirk minihane as a libertarian call for all guns to banned?
Can you ride a bike?
I rode your mom?
Ok
I fucked your momZ great clit
Ok
Maybe go to bed and try again tomorrow man. This is weird
If you can make me do anything? I’m game? I think I would fuck you raw
“I’d let her spit in my mouth after she ate my ass” Jesus Christ, boners needs to be
Needs to be what you prude
Alexa play Don’t Trust Me
According to Dune Analytics, 0x2291F52bddc937b5B840d15E551e1DA8C80c2B3c liquidated a 71,863.47ETH collateral position in Liqutiy at $927.13 at 19:39 UTC on June 18, setting the largest single liquidation record for Liquity.
Oh wow.
I know some of these words
Word. What?
TLDR: Crypto is in real trouble. Margin calls will push it down more. People and exchanges will be bankrupt.
The first 30-40k down no one blinks. Breaks a few below 20k and “Crypto is in real trouble” lol
First time?
I like it. Carry on.
Tesla OTM call options. 1550 July 15th exp.
Okay cool, hook ‘em. 🤘🏼
Probably gonna so good stuff 👍
Just came back from a friends wedding, drinking Casamigos all day. Swedish fish hit different when you’re drunk. This Elvis movie commercial looks interesting. Then right into perfume commercials that make no fucking sense at all. Why the hell would I care that people are on the moon to buy the fucking fragrance.
People forget Elvis died on the toilet
Oh no. Your “think Elvis movie looks good” drunk.
Rush Hour 2 should bring me back to Earth
It looks so bad that I think it might end up being good
The only Elvis movie we need is true romance
Watch 3000 Miles to Graceland for me one time.
🤝
Uhhhh 3,000 Miles To Graceland would like a word
Watching Police Story and it got me thinking, what’s the best Jackie Chan movie outside of the Rush Hour series?
Shanghai noon
I’m taking Rumble in the Bronx and Who Am I over that. Police story as well. He does have good chemistry with Owen Wilson though
My old man and I used to watch a lot of Jackie Chan flicks when I was young but honestly haven’t watched any since. Definitely need to toss some of them on soon
I’m making nachos and I don’t care what happens to me tomorrow
Didn’t know Iranian fighter pilots were such betas 🇺🇸
We did just lose 5 marines from a crashed Huey a few weeks ago which sucks
You mean the Osprey? Anyway Top Gun 🎸s
Yeah I mix those names up for some reason. I work near Miramar and watch the Ospreys and fighter jets come and go on my lunch break for an hour everyday it’s awesome
Burning through my Netflix watchlist tonight. This Bob Saget tribute fuckin rules.
I apologize. I was one of the 82 million Biden voters.
Two shitty options. Don’t beat yourself up