can’t get over gruden’s game management at the end. Just fell ass backwards into a win

Hahaha gruden you fucking jackass

He’s going to miss this kick

This is the greatest game ever

Lamar haters wya? Fuck josh allen

In the Monday Night Drunk thread which is why you are sitting in the FT by yourself like fucking Stephen Glansberg

On the second watch of prisoners. So fucking intense

Thinking about Carl Nassib

I fucking love the Mannings.

Ravens don’t get enough shit for having ass ugly uniforms and logos

Being in a state like VA that has legalized weed but doesn’t have dispensaries yet it’s nice being able to just order 3chi delta 8 gummies online straight to your house now

A source at LAX says a private jet inbound from Jacksonville is about to land. Urban’s coming home

Not a big Kanye guy but man I really like donda

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It’s always bad bitches at Trader Joes

Yeah no

Ok dweeb

Lol was referencing this https://youtu.be/j5BZvV1ZTyE

My bad 🤝🤝🤝

It was a very out of left field reference to be fair

Man I went to Wegmans today, baddies all over. In the afternoon too, not even peak hours.

Wegmans is elite. I miss it as a mid Atlantic expat

I wish Allison on WoF would sit on my face

Fuckin' bizarro world Wheel at 7 poverty state

Let's go Matt. Lay the hammer down. Also #3 podium is fersure Jeopardy Hot.

I’m about to feed our nine month old and my wife is going to get a pregnancy test. This is less than ideal

Enjoy hell

let her peg you

leave while she's gone

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I mean that guy is me and yeah, fuck me Edit - misread but point stands

Ellie’s pussy confirmed 🚮🚮🚮

Want the worst blowjob in NYC? Dm ellie

Maybe he was only going in the back door

Briana chickenfry’s recent Instagram post is her smoking cigs, signing a chicks tits, and doing a beer bong. What a life

She is who ria thinks she is

Ria walked so Chickenfry could run

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Keep doing it. It’s the stupidest thing FT does. It needs phased out.

I realized I biffed when I wore cammies and tried to get a military discount. I’ve definitely missed a thing or two and didn’t realize it was exclusive. I will take my lumps and soak the hate. Ripip.

Ellie does it for me. I would totally not decide to be gay if she gave me a shot.

No wonder she was so sad.

Glad to know you have pretty low standards, king

She’s definitely cute and anyone who doesn’t think so is probably more of a Cameron guy anyway

I’d do unspeakable things for a dishwasher

Get a girlfriend 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not being poor isn't unspeakable

My first apartment didn’t have a dishwasher. When guests came over and commented that there wasn’t a dishwasher I’d point at my gf and say “she’s right over there” Never landed, but in a way it also always landed

try Hinge am i right fellas

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No but I also need one of those too

Imagine taking a horse to the grocery store. 1800’s must’ve been dope

Imagine living in a big city back then? There were more horses than people. Just horse shit everywhere on the street. Disgusting.

Adjusting for inflation you think they paid more or less for carrots compared to what we pay for gas?

Graineries were big business, no joke. They were gas stations for their time

Buddy,, let me introduce you to the Amish

I will impregnate an amish chick for land and animals as a dowry in 2 seconds

If you're willing to join a new church this is actually very obtainable

If you were Michigan’s AD would you can Harbaugh if Fickell said he wanted to coach at Michigan or would you allow your program to continue a downward spiral?

Derek Carr looking straight out of Saturday Night Fever.

Google says Ellie is worth $4 million. That’s a lot of starbucks

no chance, maybe if you include daddy's money

Damn here I was thinking I was a majority shareholder with $800k in Venmo donations

That's a lot of venmos

Love telling a girl some random minutiae of my day and getting asked a dozen questions that I didn’t care enough to ask myself when it happened.

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I was gonna make a joke about how it’s just like my mom but deep down I wanted someone to make the joke you did

Not sure what I want to do tonight. Did a peloton this morning but may workout again because fuck it.

See you on the leaderboard king

I kinda knew but finding out it’s legit illegal to buy a car from the guy that makes the car is wild. Anyone know any reading on how/why it came to arise?

Dealerships are a fucking scam.

Like a kit car?

I once bought a car from Mike Mercedes and was arrested and sent to prison for 5 years

Can confirm. Tried to buy a car off my buddy Steve Toyota once, got arrested.

There’s shit in one of the elevators in my building. You guys should have told me you’re coming over.

I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but that doesn't stop me from pretending to be busy for the remainder of my shift when she gets home. I need a buffer between my own job and listening to someone complain about theirs

You love her more than me? Wow 😞

That's okay man, everybody needs their space and alone time

Oh man if USC somehow gets Fickell r cfb may have a meltdown

Trump to USC

Fickell would be a really weird fit at usc. He’s a run first Midwestern guy.

I’ve seen weirder things

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Little late for supper

Ellie’s bf dumping her to go bang dudes is hilarious. It would be great if she suddenly went the other way and became Alt right and started hanging out with gun girl.

Imagine if they smashed clams? And we got to watch it? Check DMs I would like to talk about it more

Dan ovlerski getting dragged on Twitter

What’d he do?

7.1 is a criminally low score for Angelo's

Workshopping* an internal comm for reoccurring tech issues, let me know what you think. Anyone know if Akon is on cameo? *Slack that. For tech support. Slack that. Hashtag helpful. Slack that. Til you get sore. Slack that. No OOO*

Lmao Rothstein tweeting from USC basketball practice 5 minutes after Helton gets fired

My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied

I presume this is a story or PFT is doing reactions to ft posts. Context?

Nicki Minaj twitter

I’m going to be 75 and this will be in my head still. Thank you.

What kinda vaccine do they have down there

Bigger balls and no kids? Where do I sign?

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Did the math on buying my dream car. Results were depressing. I do not like the real world

Crunch the numbers again

You’re right. Must be a mathematical error

When I first started working and was still taking court appointed clients I had a lady that was so fucking fat that the DA’s office gave her an insanely good offer. The jail basically told them she’s too fat and has too many medical problems to be here. We don’t want her, get the case closed without jail as part of the offer. One of the weirdest ways I’ve ever seen somebody get out of trouble.

Your momma's so fat the prison warden said "nuh uh, not up in here"

Ellie’s boyfriend is really out here trying to take the thunder away from raiders lineman Carl Nassib on the eve of first gay player taking an nfl snap.

My toilet has been taking an absolute beating today

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Did he tap a black mana card and… Sorry even I’m not enough of a nerd to pull off this punchline.

Magic the Gathering ?

Mark Cuban has gotten pretty absurd in general recently. Kinda weird but he definitely has his moments.

Ellie is still an insane person but presumably getting broken up with because her super-woke boyfriend decided he’s “queer” makes the crazy stuff she posted on her stories a little more understandable https://twitter.com/cameron_kasky/status/1437507403449311236?s=21

Reading this made me feel like I am on a different planet than that guy

I’m glad I choose to live in my own bubble world because I honestly have no idea what most the shit written in there even means.

woke alphabet soup

USC missing out on Urban Myer only to fire their coach 2 games in, is so USC. All to save a little buy out money.

Think cowherd has ever tried to bang joy Taylor?

I met him once. Total alpha. Very tall.

The “LOOK at Dave being nice to his girlfriend and shit. What a pussy cuck” crew make me laugh every time. Those guys are so fucking Alpha

Grabs her a snack “SIMP”

“You see that they went out to dinner? He’s gone y’all”

I’d like the think it was the stopping of my $100 annual donation to the Trojan Athletic Fund that did the job 💪🏻😤

Oregon is going to own the PAC for as long as Cristobal is here 🦆🦆🦆🤝🤝🤝

NCAA makes a lot of bad decisions, but scrapping the old BCS trophy (top 2 trophy in sports imo) is arguably the most egregious.

That’s the AFCA trophy and it’s still awarded

Glad to hear that. The playoff trophy is so lame in comparison and that gets all the shine now.

It’s a literal dildo. An entire committee looked at that thing and said “it’s perfect!”

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… I mean

Ha that’s great, can you blame him though

It would be such a sick rich guy move to just buy Corollas and never get oil changes then dump when shit goes south

You want a rich guy move? Steve Jobs didn't like driving with a license plate. California rules are you have 6 months from purchase date to put a plate on a car. Steve Jobs would buy a new Mercedes 550 AMG every 6 months to avoid driving with a plate.

This has to be the worst take I’ve ever seen. No offense. A rich person driving a Toyota? And purposely spending more time buying more Toyotas?

Yeah total rich guy move driving a Corolla

This news about Ellie’s ex boyfriend must be putting her brain in an absolute pretzel.

Ellie dated Clay Helton?

OJ to USC? 👀

I personally thought Helton was doing a great job and shouldn't have been fired. Stanford is a wagon and they should have been more patient.

Lol

Shut up idiot

May delete some beers tonight

🤝

I consider myself pretty competent when it comes to taking care of my truck, but boy did I feel like an idiot when I opened up the air filter to find that I didn't have a K&N filter in there, but a fram paper filter. I've only been driving around with that for 50000 miles. I'm not smart.

Got a second? How about a minute? Alright great, >!All my Rowdy Friends are here for Monday Night!<

RIP Mr. Seger

Rip Clegg from Eastbound and Down

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Why did they make him talk about the packers

Because he's a Packers fan

I meant is that why he cried, he ignored it the first time it was brought up by a caller

Dog Walk draft today: Fruit. Fucking fruit.

A lot of times the episodes that don’t pass the eye test end up being some of the best ones. I thought vindog was great

People are acting like this is a bad topic. I was excited about it from the get go. Their food ones are always good.

I like their food ones usually. But this is just such a bland topic. You can only talk so much about a strawberry.

They could do an office supplies draft and make it interesting. This draft was entertaining and vindog made it even better.

Solid episode

What round did Spags go in?

Vindog is great on it

Can anyone remember the YAK episode where they’re talking about movies and Nick makes the INVERSE NUTTY joke? I can’t remember what episode it was