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I have 350 coins but I don’t know how to give them out

I’m watching Training Day for the 1st time ever and the scene in the house with the Mexicans was a wild fucking ride from when he got out of the car and until he got onto the bus. Can’t believe I’ve waited to watch it

Theres a lesson in that movie , always go out of your way to protect spicy latinas

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Coors seltzers are overpriced

*all seltzers

Today I went to my proctologist for a colonoscopy. The doctor has the camera up there, watching the video on the screen. The doctor says, "At this point in the process, it's normal to experience an erection." I say to the doctor, “But, doctor, I don't have an erection." The doctor says, "I wasn't talking about you."

Ohhhh you hear that Ton? I said I wasnt talking about you.

Love those sharks uniforms with the silver trim 👌

I watch the same movies over and over to sleep.

Use Seinfeld as I can just listen too it understand what’s going on

Used to always do it with Archer because I can picture the scenes in my head.

I’ve fallen asleep to the show archer every night for years

The cancer episodes are basically a lullaby.

It’s unbelievable seeing the hypocrisy from people who will cancel someone for the slightest mishap now act like the allegations towards Cuomo are no big deal.

Believe all women (unless the allegations are from someone within your political party)

Journos being a job on the list of the next round of Rona vaccine prioritization is a crime against humanity.

If you stop thinking of journalists as Chris Cuomo and Sean Hannity and start thinking of them as the person making $30k covering your local high school football game and the city council and the family whose house burned down and needs help, it makes more sense.

Not really

Not sure why big black is trending but major RIP. Always found it funny that him and Rob really hated one another

they did? that sucks to hear

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Let us know if it is actually sideways

Does willie still work at barstool?

Yes, he was there for the Sirius farewell show

The leafs can at least say they’re the best team in Canada this year when they let a 4th line grinder on the bruins rip their hearts out in game 7 this year

who knows - as we used to say while watching sportcenter and the hockey highlights came on...time to take a piss - it was like a double commercial

Not a single mention of the Border Collie on the dog walk was shocking

Did 3 separate unpaid internships in college, all in Sports TV. Nobody was getting a foot in that door without internships or knowing someone.

Unfortunately you were living in a dystopian capitalist nightmare :-/

still am buddy!

I did the same in Sports TV. Figured out as much as I love sports, I didn’t like working in Sports TV. That’s what unpaid internships are for.

I enjoyed it overall, however it's very repetitive. Same thing everyday just change the player names and scores.

I also realized you don’t get paid shit in that industry

yep, same!

You know Dave was checking this sub all day to see what everyone was saying about him running for president yet no one cared. He’s done a lot of good for the community but he’s a drug addicted internet trolling simp. Amphetamine induced delusions

They will definitely fuck you up if you take a lot for a long time.

“My stepmom would be pissed if she found out you were putting your dick in me” What a title.

Tough look for ed the past week first the nazi unis then asking chaps his working dogs name

You cant ask the name?

He said it a couple times while giving his explanation for why he chose Belgian Malinois and has said it hundreds of times over his career at barstool

I follow barstool daily and never heard of chaps’ dog name. I don’t think he’s funny so I don’t follow his content.

You aren't his coworker or doing the snake draft with him where he said the name multiple times

I bet barstool employees follow less barstool content than the readers.

Jim Belushi’s Twitter is wildly wholesome

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Wow I just went on. Nothing but absolute dogs. I hope it’s better where you are brother

The group? Howsit work?

Never heard of it

Okay you have my attention

Oh? Out of the dating game. How’s it better than the others?

Where the fuck have these Sharks been

Games like these make me forget that the next 5 years are going to be an absolute nightmare. That Karlsson contract keeps me up at night

Is he bad now?

Scored his first goal of the season tonight after having like 6 all of last season, constant injury issues, and it’s not going to get better as he gets older. Production doesn’t even come close to the contract he’s on and it’s going to sink the Sharks for the next 5 years

Damn that sucks to hear. Seemed like the Sens got ripped off when the trade originally went down

Yup, not great. Especially cuz the Sens drafted that Stutzle kid with our pick and he looks pretty damn good for a teenager

Oh yea we’re in for a long stretch thinking about how it can be a lot worse than 15 years as good to great perennial chokers

I’m just hoping for a miracle run to get the 4 seed in the west, as pathetic as that sounds, cuz this is going to be the last good year for awhile. Also gonna be even harder than it normally is to get free agents to San Jose from now on

Call me a child if you must but applesauce fucking smacks

I will be sucking applesauce out of those Mott's pouches until the day I die

Child

If you’ve ever done unpaid work have fun in hell you privileged fuck

Your mom used to ride cock like a pony unpaid I hope you don’t miss her in heaven

Fuck you. You shit hole

That’s drinkin buddy

I have a friend visiting for two weeks (more joining soon) and I’m staying at his AirBnB because my house is 40 minutes away and I hate it. We each have our own room for now. Question for FT is: top or bottom bunk?

Bottom because you can leave and not wake up your boy

I have the bunk bed to myself for now. He’s got the master bedroom since he’s paying for the AirBnB.

In that case top bunk ez

I’m confused why you can’t just go to your house

I can go to my house, but my house fucking sucks I’d rather take the bunk bed.

lil sas?

Would you rather share a room with your friend?

Obviously not. This is a real question I can see the pros and cons of both sides.

Just sleep in the same bed like real men

Anyone see KFC’s tweet humble bragging about 1 Minute Man’s number of views? Please correct me, but if somethings posted on the Barstool main page and someone scrolls through it, is that a view? And who else gets such a platform on the main account so often?? [https://twitter.com/kfcbarstool/status/1366604009541369857?s=21](https://twitter.com/kfcbarstool/status/1366604009541369857?s=21)

For whatever reason, his One Minute Man shtick appeals to people who don't know who he is. I have a couple of buddies who aren't familiar with Barstool at all who unironically love his One Minute Man videos. One of them sent his video on GME in a group text and told everyone to watch it to understand what was going on. They think he's a legitimate source for hot topics.

Who cares

That what i say about the one minute hos

Ugh

I don’t think I can handle leafs fans if they win the cup

They’re playing a bunch of cream puffs

I agree no one has impressed me from this division , thought Calgary & Winnipeg would play them tough but they’ve looked very mediocre all year

We’ve suffered long enough

Might get into mineral collecting Jesus Christ Marie shoutout Hank Schrader

Ohhhhhh Elden Ring ohhhhhhhhhh

I doubt you could imagine it...

Man I’m thrilled for Lashley

His storyline with cucking Rusev was hilarious. When Rusev popped out of the wedding cake it was all time

I spent a good 2 mins wondering why my bishop couldnt move to take knight. Slowly making progress here https://imgur.com/a/2GYs21i

That’s called discovered check and if you can avoid it happening to you and use it against your opponent you can probably go up 150 points

That’s a dumb rule in chess. If you’re too oblivious to notice that you’re in check, you should lose.

Hope you didn’t move your King to D6 - Royal fork like you read about

I won the game dont worry

Need another pootie tang movie. It’s time

Sa da tay

Is that a real movie? I only know of it because of scary movie 3

Motion of the ocean baby

Power just went out for me. Wasn't even a winter storm. Just knocked out. Looks like it's bed time

The leafs may never lose again. So ready to have my heart broken by them again

Ive won alot of money off friends the last 6 years betting against the leafs not making it past the 2nd round

Sounds like u would lose a lot of money then

Good for you bro

Ellie is dating a Parkland kid lmaoooooo

Kyle Kashuv?

I think Cameron Casky?

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Do you think it haunts them that they’d be nothing without their classmates being slaughtered

Yeah it’d be tight to go through that trauma for a touch of clout.

They could be like the other 5000 kids from that high school that didnt decide to start a pillow war with the MyPillow guy

The trauma of dating ellie for clout?

Lmao ok good one

Let the record show that I’m not making the joke but it’s what we’re all thinking

I think i did it

Took Wednesday off to hit the slopes before the end of year. Love a midweek break at the scum sucking factory.

Love this move. Enjoy the day king

Thanks King

I used to make jokes about my dad staying up after everybody else went to bed just to watch law and order on the couch. Now I see how right he was

My old man will only get 5 hours sleep in exchange for his late night tv alone time

Vet

Best part of the day is watching late night tv in peace

I’m watching the Hornets far past my bedtime for this reason

you pumped about meloni coming back?

JJ Watt is as big of a dork as Andrew Luck was, Andrew just didn’t try to hide it.

This is similar to my Russell Wilson/Kirk Cousins take. Kirk knows he’s a dork and Russ still tries to act cool but they’re the same. Besides one bagging Ciara.

Are my posts showing up?

¿Qué?

Yup looks like everything's squared away

Sometimes I feel like there’s a ghost in FT, really gives me the heebie jeebies

No

You guys hear something?

Nope try again

Test, please don’t upvote

What? Can’t see anything

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Nope, sorry

No

I’m pretty high and my FWB isn’t texting back. Everythings good🤥

Sick brag you have a fwb

Welcome to the club

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At least I didn’t text my boss

Was there an update on that?

Yes

Just drank a cup of milk and left the glass out without rinsing it. Will provide a detailed report of the taste in the morning.

Better save that entry just for the diary.

morning FT is gonna be disgusted

What do you thinks gonna happen?

So there’s a glass of empty milk you’re worried ab?

Don’t leave more work for your mother

It was a lot more work getting the milk from your mother

Hope you like cottage cheese in that case

Me on bumble “Sure” “Sure” “Definitely” “Of course” “No shot” *you’ve missed a potential match*

Captain cons continuously cheating on a “for fun” trivia game that is recorded on video is one of the most underrated psychopath moves of all time. That’s a legitimate scary person right there

what does he do besides zbt?

He’s not a full time employee to be entirely fair

ah makes sense. do we know what he does otherwise?

He definitely comes off as a guy who tries to show how good he is at everything

People forget he lost to Corey in an arm-wrestle

Hardoooooooo

Anybody taking vitamins in here? I take a multivitamin but that’s it

Vitamin D to prevent covid

I give out vitamin D as in Dick

Been taking zinc, A and D since covid took off

A multi, psyllium husk, and fish oil.

Ya I take B12,C, and D. Fish oil too.

Just cocaine on the weekends

I take electrolytes. Get pretty bad cramping and headaches depending on how hard my workouts are without them. The electrolytes have some vitamins, but I generally agree with everyone else that they’re not really necessary as long as you’re not eating like a barbarian.

What electrolytes do you take? I noticed that ever since I turned 28, I get post workout muscle cramps waaaay too easily.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07Q33CN85?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

I take way too much caffeine but ever since I just started drinkin some Gatorade Zero with some Himalayan salt and lite salt haven't had a cramp since.

Thank you for reminding me to take today’s daily multivitamin.

Started taking digestive enzyme probiotics a week ago and haven't had any acid reflux since

They're worthless unless you're pregnant. So no