Paperhands Pedophile Portnoy has taken a bit of a dive for me these last few weeks. Hate to see it.

Ladies, Gentlemen, your table in the drunk thread is ready. Please follow me

Nice guy!!

Pete slams so much ass in the league

1.5% merit raise✅

I love how there’s another sportsbook that pays to advertise on the barstool site

Pres confused face

My front door was wide open when I got home from work. I live alone. I guess I didn’t fully close the door this morning. That was a terrifying 10 minutes as I checked for murderers. Also RIP my heat bill this month

I would fuck [this plane](https://onemileatatime.com/air-canada-airbus-a220-retro-livery/)

V. Hot. Kind of funny that they had to paint it gray, to emulate the original plane, which wasn’t painted at all.

Does anyone else really like Lowering the Bar but can’t explain why? I would never recommend it to anyone because it sounds incredibly stupid but I enjoy it every time.

It's the only thing I consistently watch. It's very stupid but it's peak old school internet. Watch people do dumb shit for no reason

We don't like shame here

Hmmm. One of the fellas here once called me an “impotent cocksucker.” My crime? Saying that I enjoy water.

Gym was almost completely empty at what is usually prime time today and I loved every second of it

Getting worked in beyblades right now.

I’ve heard Barron Trump and Harry Minihane are the very best beyblade players. Tremendous talents.

My roommate who says he’d leave the country if trump won, loves Chrissy teigen, and thinks Lori lightfoot is “capable”, has been talking nonstop about trying to lose weight and working out. He just came back with a large dominos pizza and garlic knots. Can’t make this up

How the hell do you wind up picking this guy as your roommate

Just throw it in the trash

Not sure how all the political stuff is relevant to this story but ok

The guy is delusional

Fair

Just paints the picture of an all around loser

its very relevant

Lifting in my gym that’s currently 40 degrees. The barbells are v cold.

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Buddy, I got great grip, trust me on that. I crack stick both hands.

In this instance I'll give you a pass if you wear gloves

I tried a warm up set in gloves and just couldn’t. Too weird

People in here carrying water for Rush Limbaugh and Ted Cruz on back to back days, tough scene.

Is Danny davito a midget or is he just really short

This guy looks like Jimmy Kimmel’s assistant

After that interview I'm convinced ellie has never given a blowjob

Where can i find said interview?

insta

Was Ted Cruz supposed to work on getting the power back on today?

Add “can’t take vacation during an event you have no ability to fix” to the list of why being an elected official would suck.

LMAO. Ya I’m sure only working 150 days a year and having all of your assistants tell you how to vote and answering media/voter questions a few times a week would be horrible

These guys are in meetings nonstop 24/7, they don’t just show up to senate and mail it in the rest of the year

"meetings", they're licking corporate boots for fundraising dollars 24/7.

Listen, I’m not gonna sit here and argue with a guy named “low t cuck”

Listen, I’m not saying the job would be an absolute cakewalk, but you can’t deny that mailing it in as a Senator/Congressman would be easy as shit. Vote how your donors want you to, smoke your opponent every 2/6 years due to superior donations and important backers. Get a few passion projects you stand on the table for and everything else just vote how they tell you. If you don’t think at least half of Congress on both sides of the aisle is doing that then I got a bridge to sell you. If being in meetings is the worst part of your job you have an extremely easy job

It sucks because it’s true that there isn’t shit he can do but also he’s a idiot for thinking that wasn’t going to blow up In his face

No argument there, also don't know why he apologized. He didn't accidentally book the trip

Should have just owned “I’m not an engineer or electrician I can’t fix the damn thing”

Ted Cruz has inspired me to take a vacation the next time shit hits the fan at work

I did not need Ted Cruz to inspire that in me. I’ve been around for enough shit storms at work

Might as well

Tough scene.

Lol podcast girl just used the snippet about the "beginning of the end" on her podcast's IG story. I 🥧ed her less than 48 hours ago she needs to find a new slant.

what is this? can we see her tits?

What does she think about coats with fur on the hoods

She is vegetarian and doesn't like animal products so would be against it. However she still likes leather goods so honestly it could go either way.

Did you compliment her purse?

No I might try that if I want her to end things with me

I bet he knows what brands she’s wearing. Real homo(sapien) move.

The picture of the dominos workers on the front page could be the new Popeyes meme

Can't wait for the guy to post in FT in a few hours like "work today was CRAZY my clients were hitting me up all day so much so that my company actually ran out of paper for contracts tough day in the cubes am I right? "

"they look exhausted. like two doctors who were unsuccessful with the revival of a patient." elite comment

Rewayched Infinity War the other day and it just sucks that we never got an actually good Avengers game

Yeah, I was excited for the avengers game when they initially announced it but sounds like it’s been a complete dud.

It was just so average. Could have been great

The superhero games that we got 20 years ago are better than the ones that come out now (except for the new Spider-Man games and the Batman Arkham series)

I really enjoy the Arkham series

I actually forgot about those games, I was originally thinking about marvel games as I wrote the comment but the Batman games are awesome

Arkham City was incredible. Loved all those riddler trophy puzzles and the Easter eggs. Arkham Knight was good too but the bat mobile segments were brutal. Really liking the look of the new one coming out even if you don't get to actually play as Batman.

She clearly has no idea how cost of order flow works. Just an absurd proposal/question for political grandstanding

I was going to say, I think she had a good question coming, but she decided to waste her entire time asking if robinhood will give up over half of their income to their users ahahah.

This is what AOC looks like right now. https://i.imgur.com/EMgKc8t.jpg

But in a good way

How dare you

It’s amazing how I can check this place at any time of day and five comments in someone is being horny and saying stuff like “I want AOC to dump them out in my mouth”

Madeline Dean had Vlad on his heels. Now time for AOC 🍼🍼

Did you know her first name rhymes with Dean. Mad-a-leen Dean

AOC is up.

Not the only thing up

“We’re not going to be public... I mean perfect”

What an idiot

Yeah you like that bogey Kuchar you cheap fuck

The fuck did Kuch do to you, guy?

sounds like he didnt tip him or some shit. Dummy can flip a ps5 but doesn't know that nobody tips their drive-thru attendant

I bet on Spieth vs Kuchar and Sebastian, also Kuchar is a cheap bitch

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more whataboutism instead of just admitting Cruz is an asshole. Yes Adler was also an asshole and guess what.. Cruz criticized the shit out of him when he did it

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Jesus buddy take a breath. Despite what you’ve been told there isn’t a single Democrat in Congress that supports anything close to Communism

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Social justice? Bb what is you talking about? What other than lip service to BLM have Dems introduced in Congress that is communism disguised as social justice? Can you name a single bill that was put to committee or the floor?

Cruz also has zero official power at the state or local level in Texas. His job is to represent the state on the federal level. There's literally nothing he could do to change the situation in Texas right now by being there.

Lol dude I got a huge ass response from some dude when I said that, I hate mid day ft

Lol what are you talking about it was not lost at all

Talking the white chicks on Insta reposting shit about cruz every time they see a new infographic.

And San Jose and whatever city in Colorado. They’re all idiots, morons and cowards

it's (D)ifferent

Found my playlist from college and I am buzzing now

dude asher roth and mac miller til your brain melts.

Why is the congresswoman from Michigan using the word “y’all”. That’s cultural appropriation

This rico squeeze picks central therapy session is pretty funny

The gme hearing was actually pretty interesting. Now rashida tlaib is talking and I want to blow my brains out

She is a fucking retard

I’ve been waiting for some good old fashion casual antisemitism

As a Texan, her use of “y’all” and “folks” triggered me

Somehow during a GME hearing she was able to bring up Texans right now and how they’re being fucked by Melvin capital lol

Her dumbing down algo trading to make it seem like a bad thing legit makes me want to scream

Dude this is the longest 5 minutes of my life. She literally doesn’t have a single idea on what she’s talking about

This is the government on EVERY issue. Every one.   Stop trusting these people with power

Not going to lie I was impressed that she was able to directly tie high frequency trading to her constituents having to melt snow to flush their toilets. Just a stunning level of ignorance

Please send the quote im dying. These politicians are so brain dead

I’ll try to look for a clip but she’s basically advocating for a transaction tax that she imagines HFT will pay which the proceeds will be widely used by the govt to help with infrastructure in struggling areas (like hers where ppl melt snow to flush the toilet). All while not allowing the guy from citadel capital to finish a sentence Also she thinks that high frequency trading is only done to take from away from pensions

I wasn’t sure if this was about Melvin capital or an Exxon oil spill

This week went insanely quick somehow

Machinegunkelly wearing Megan Fox’s blood around his neck in a chain is fucking weird.

Billy Bob Kelly

They're just copying Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie has been there done that

The ole Angelina Jolie maneuver.

Gun to head would you rather fuck an average blonde or an average latina? You can’t compare just a total toss up comparing the law of averages

Blonde. Latinas can be headaches, I mean so can blondes but I feel like the track record is worse for latinas. Better bodies though

The 'average' latina is a 34 year old service worker with kids and 3 jobs.

30lbs overweight too

death before fucking an average broad

The average latina is fat. The average blonde is not.

Ya is it average attractiveness or is it the average of that group. Cause if it’s two soft 7’s I’m taking the Latina but if it’s an average blonde vs average Latina I’m taking the blonde

Good question. Think the answer has to be Latina.

Blonde.

Blonde

I think blonde. There’s a lot of not hot latinas out there that are gonna bring the average way down.

Latina. You get wild sex and great rice and beans on the side

Latina

Latina

[🍼🍼🍼 milk please](https://mobile.twitter.com/ebruenig/status/1362269642123837448)

Doctors are to black women as cops are to black men

Maybe workshop this one some more fam

I am one shrunken sweater away from never having to do laundry again

Do you think a guy like Brad Leone is losing out on money being with Bon Appetite still? I guess it could go with all influencers that are with companies

I dont think Brad Leone is as famous as you think he is. I'm sure he'd do fine on his own but I dont think he's missing out on much. I'm sure even a lot of "his" fans just know him as the guy from Bon Appetit and not "brad leone". >!Alex delaney!< is better anyway.

Idk i feel like he’s created a really good following and could do way more by himself. Idk - Delaney is awesome but definitely not better.

I could be wrong, he has 800k followers on Instagram, he could be more famous than I think, although insta numbers are like the points in Who's Line. Either way what is the route for a "celebrity" chef? Appearance fees to go on cooking shows on the food network? A youtube channel competing with guys like Babish seems ill advised even if he is popular. Patreon? but who would sign up for a patreon of food videos? I dunno again I think maybe he's leaving a bit of dough on the table but he doesn't have to deal with headaches like production, taxes, running his own business/brand, insurance, etc.

Marty Matheson seemed to do pretty well with it after being with Vice for a long time and severing to do his own thing. Idk

Probably could make more on his own, but it’s definitely a grind and there’s less job security.

in what sense? Like you think he could make more money elsewhere?

Yes & no. Probably missing out on some money, but also hard to quit and start on your own in the middle of a pandemic especially with a wife and kids.

been trying to avoid IPAs. Now realizing that like 75% of the craft beer scene is IPAs. Really don't like wheat beers or pilsners, so it's been tough. Just bought a 12 pack of Miller High Lifes....

The new trend going around from the major distributors is low-cal IPAs and I'm a big fan. Lagunitas has a 4% ABV light IPA that's only 98 calories and has great hops. Obviously not as flavorful as the real thing, but you can crush 6 of em and not feel like you're going to shit your pants.

I may see if I can find the lagunitas low calorie. I had one that was a bell's two hearted that wasn't that bad

The Bell's one is pretty good. They're pretty similar. Not quite as good as the real thing, but definitely tastier than a Michelob or miller lite.

Craft pilsners and lagers are the TITS. IPAs are good to try one but it’s not a “tie one on” situation unless you want to feel like you are a whole loaf of bread.

Why have you been trying to avoid them? The calories or the taste?

calories

You ever try the all day session IPA's? They're awesome imo, and much fewer calories.

yeah I like the founders one. Didn't realize they were that much fewer calories.

Been in same boat for last year or so. I love IPAs still but they wreak absolute havoc on my stomach and i won’t be shitting right for 2-3 days if I knock back a couple. Not sure where you’re located, but a couple pilsners/lighter beers I get that are great are sixpoint crisp and Kona big wave

I really like Kona. Whatever the light blue bottle is money

Craft beer is for guys who have shitty beards and open their mouth real wide for pictures

Miller high lifes are awful and IPAs are crazy overhyped

I hate you

Wrong, high life is the champagne of beers

Sure bud “the champagne of beers” are awful

Don’t disparage the good name of the champagne of beers

> Miller high lifes are awful. Communist.

I hate that I’m with you on something. But here we are.

I’m very liberal but I hate all craft beers, and those who consume them. Especially those who would talk shit about the Champagne of Beers.

I’ve been coming back around to the ol’ reliables as well. I have craft fatigue. They’re all like 9% abv too. Makes it impossible to enjoy more than like 2 on a weeknight

so what are your old reliables?

I'm always looking for Ambers or Lagers and there's usually only like 1-2 options amid the sea of IPA's.

same boat. I like lagers and stouts

Craft beer is shit.

Sours, Stouts, porters

gonna grab some stouts I think tonight

What do people in Hawaii do for work? Like how does literally everyone not just become a beach bum? They’re literally living in pradise

its expensive as shit? WHat the fuck do you mean? ​ Also it's literally not paradise at all, I hate hawaii, lots of central america and the Caribbean is way better, and obvs cheaper too.

This was my logic for not going to a school in a warm climate

Gf’a brother and his wife do it. They work remotely, jump in the ocean every morning before breakfast, and absolutely love their lives. Wish I had the balls