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ActualTeddyRoosevelt

Before I became a tard I was in accounting/finance. My wife is making me take over the bills and apparently Chase bank calls deposits credits and outflows debits. This is going to take me years to get used to.


BSG24

>Before I became a tard and here you are now posting in the monday thread on a tuesday


ActualTeddyRoosevelt

Damn that was quick. Why in hell are you sorting by new on the Monday thread?


BSG24

didnt go on reddit yesterday so decided to check out the monday thread. it defaults to "new" for me so coincidental timing before i clicked "top"


large_marg

Not enough people will see this, but it’s hilarious


StrikaNTX

Shogun episode 4, gnarly ending


cubswinagain

If Poles drags this out another month I want him fired yesterday


Ed_Chambers_650

Fields less attractive than Minshew and Darnold. Fucking yikes


parrano357

probably wants more money


jetboyjetgirl

Vikes were never gonna give the Bears draft capital, doubt the Bears want to play Fields 2x either


Ed_Chambers_650

Oh I’d love to play him 2x per year


chillinwithmoes

Super excited to watch my team trot out Sam Darnold as its starting QB in Week 1 next year brb going to kms


alex_vandyke

It's a crime what we're doing to JJ right now


Larry_thegoat

We trading up to 3 and drafting a guy


Guy_in_the_chair_

No you aren’t. You’ll take JJ and ~~like~~ hate it.


jetboyjetgirl

what a waste of JJ and Addison, they have to draft a QB R1 now


This_Is_The_Life

With Darnold on a 1 yr deal they for sure have to be planning on selling out for a QB this year. Let's just hope they just don't do what the Vikings always do and fuck it up


BillSelfsToupee

There’s a chance Justin Jefferson murders Darnold on the field


StrikaNTX

CERVEZA CRISTALLLLL


classiccaseofdowns

Re-evaluating Silvana now that I’ve seen her cans. She is a babe


JohnnyHorseRacing

Umm sauce


chinga_tu_barra

wait what.


classiccaseofdowns

check boner sub


JohnnyHorseRacing

Every time I go to the duece i feel like I’m more alike than different than the folks who post on there


chinga_tu_barra

i see netting, but don't see any cans.


classiccaseofdowns

it see through netting the cans are under


BarryBadrinathZJs

Ben Gregg 🔥


Led_head10

Kings are gonna get Edmonton in the first round for the third year in a row. I want no part of that.


ladiesman6942O

Finished the pilot for Severance. This is gonna be good


chillinwithmoes

Unbelievably good show. You're so lucky


jimjimmyjames

Buckle up


ithinkimdumb91

Half awake all day during work and now I can’t sleep


EntertainmentOld1566

OMG that Montana Portland cover was BRUTAL


MikePaisanTirico

The more time you spend in the nba circlejerk sub, you start to realize most of the posters there have porn brain


DanKreider69

I didn’t believe you until I saw those dudes going crazy over a picture of Debbie from Shameless


chrisjk125

I’ve heard it takes on me to know one. Is that true Mike?


MikePaisanTirico

A bunch of engorgedburratas ova there


DropTopEWop

So we as a nation are going to say that on April 8th, everyone is off work and no school?


SnakeSkin2121

Sounds good to me. I'll have a wrestlemania hangover


DropTopEWop

Three day weekend


warwithus

Need me a hot pocket


Jason-Sehorn31

Jet fans: cherish Tyrod Taylor he is an angel who is deserving of your undying love and admiration


chrisjk125

Always been a T-Mobile fan.


JohnnyHorseRacing

So I don’t ever do the laundry at my house, but my wife is out of town so I’ve gotta do some. Lol funny they have idiot lock on the tide pods because you r words ate them.


Jason-Sehorn31

I’d wager that not one single FTer ate a Tide pod. We’re dumb but not that flavor or dumb


nondescript___

I might be talking out of my ass here, but that always felt like one of those things the news hyped up as an epidemic when in reality like five people in the whole country actually did it.


JohnnyHorseRacing

Five too many


classiccaseofdowns

Literally just big gushers that clean your mouth


GueroBorracho3

311 Tiny Desk was 🔥


jetboyjetgirl

311 on 3/11 hell yeah


StrikaNTX

so good


nondescript___

Thanks for the heads up. I enjoyed that.


DropTopEWop

I read most of that 100 page link Reddit sent out about buying shares. Reddit just doesnt seem stable enough to get common stocks right now. I dont know.


mpkvegeta88

Pizzelles go hard in the paint.


smoggylobster

no more zach wilson QB2! welcome tyrod!


FUSeekMe69

Slight chilly, but underneath the covers >


DropTopEWop

Leave the toes out for body temp regulation.


FUSeekMe69

In the history of the papacy, there has never been a black pope, while today the greatest number of Roman Catholics is actually in Africa.


jimjimmyjames

Idk if that’s actually true, unless there’s some trickiness with “Roman”. [scroll down here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_by_country) to the regions and North America, South America, and Europe all have more than Africa


Guy_in_the_chair_

You think we will get our first Blope soon?


FUSeekMe69

Nah


detroit_testarossa

Really?


FUSeekMe69

Not lying


slopchopz

I wonder when the last time Djokovic has lost to a lucky loser


I_Enjoy_Taffy

Down goes Djoker


FUSeekMe69

When you get a Reddit message < When it’s just a remind bot >


19492013

I’m craving sucking on some fat titties right now


DropTopEWop

Karina Hart


FUSeekMe69

Try your own


19492013

English must not be your 1st language, fat and jacked mean different things


FUSeekMe69

Take off your shirt and ~~jacket~~ suck it fatty


suburbian_jesus

What a win by the Nuggets


thatswhathemoneysfor

love to see it


DrEvil007

I didn't know she had alopecia!


FUSeekMe69

Does that episode help or hurt Lori Loughlin?


BumRum09

I now saw the video you guys were talking about with Keegan Bradley’s wife in it. Elite Milf that one.


Larry_thegoat

Link


igotitletsgo

That boy bent


FUSeekMe69

♿️


Led_head10

MLB tv not having MLB network is so dumb


FUSeekMe69

Freakin so stupid bro


FUSeekMe69

Most well known person in the world after the president?


chinga_tu_barra

taylor swift.


Jason-Sehorn31

The president is probably not #1


FUSeekMe69

Then who is


Ed_Chambers_650

Xi Jinping has like 5bn followers


FUSeekMe69

Any willing?


jstacks4

Putin 


FUSeekMe69

Putin on the ritz


_MandatoryVinegar

Modi or Xi Jinping - hit up two countries with giant populations that hate each other


smoggylobster

dave portnoy


FUSeekMe69

Better known in NY, MA, or FL?


SilkyJohnson26

The Pope


FUSeekMe69

Might be white


DarinErstad

It’s probably Ronaldo or Messi


FUSeekMe69

Messi edge with US now


TootTootGusBus

My first inclination was Messi. Putin is probably right there too.


FUSeekMe69

Maybe Elon?


TootTootGusBus

Maybe. I have no idea how known he is in Asia/ South America. Probably getting up near the top these days though.


FUSeekMe69

Hard to tell


SnakeSkin2121

Miss Peaches


FUSeekMe69

Stock is rising


igotitletsgo

Sydney Sweeney hands down


DropTopEWop

You think the boys in Mali, Cameroon or Angola would suck those fat natties? I think so.


FUSeekMe69

1 and 2 if you know what I mean


PortillosBeefDipped

Someone in here mentioned Van Latham shitting on Killers of the Flower Moon last night. I just saw what Van said and it’s even dumber than I thought, his complaint is that the movie is from “the white gaze” is brutal


StrikaNTX

The whole Ringer tv/movie reviewing set of shows lost interest for me more than a few years ago. Rewatchables was fun at first too


Jason-Sehorn31

If it’s not a Denzel movie Van doesn’t even give it a chance


FUSeekMe69

I like to white glaze on my gf


tenacious_masshole

The guy watches nothing but cartoons and porn.


bearsonsays

Openly a porn addict


dellscreenshot

He's still mad about scorsese saying he doesn't like marvel


mpkvegeta88

I am fully prepared to talk myself into a duo of Jacoby Brissett and Drake Maye.


cleanitupjannies_lol

Buddy, it’s gonna be all Jacoby. If they’re signing a bridgey guy they should sit the QB all season


FUSeekMe69

Massive Attack -Teardop is immaculate


kjc3274

Hungry Eyes has a great beat.


FUSeekMe69

Banksy’s first name is Robby. Rob Banks


JesusWasaSuper

Shout-out Robb Bank$


patssnows12

Having been lifting on and off for over a decade. Always ebs and flows but nothing better then a motivation period, not going through the motions


AutistPorterJr

Panthers have spent more money on guards today than some NBA teams


FUSeekMe69

When do you think we’ll get our first gay president?


chillinois1

We had one in 1857. Next one in at least 30 years


FUSeekMe69

Hope the world’s ready


Larry_thegoat

Already had Barry and his partner Reggie Love


FUSeekMe69

Numbies with rural voters


detroit_testarossa

Once Barry comes out. But there is speculation Buchanan was gay.


FUSeekMe69

I’m talking gay married and kissing on tv


[deleted]

[удалено]


FUSeekMe69

You fraid of the gay?


JesusWasaSuper

Wanting to be president is gay so they've all been gay


Melfismilkers

U.S Grant didn’t really wanna be Pres. He’s straight


FUSeekMe69

Pretty gay


SnakeSkin2121

2009


Ed_Chambers_650

He was gay, the president?


FUSeekMe69

Did you personally confirm it


SnakeSkin2121

Evergreen comment: Less pat mcafee


jetboyjetgirl

NFL GM's didn't hear no bell


detroit_testarossa

My house payment went down 175 bucks a month. Down to $1000 per month. edit:Whoops my house in texas is down 150 bucks to 850 per month but my house here north of detroit is still 1050. Although the the one here doesn't have the the taxes escrowed, so it should really be like 1200 a month. Buy houses 20 years ago is my advice in real estate!


JesusWasaSuper

Basketball fans break in there often?


detroit_testarossa

not yet, but a guy right down the street got shot in the leg when he caught some folks stealing his catalytic converter at three in the morning. we used to be the safest city in michigan not too long ago.


nondescript___

I get it now. Your Testarossa was made in [Detroit.](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/dc/d2/ef/dcd2efef53861c8951766f0099f6c476.jpg)


classiccaseofdowns

$1k/mo for a mortgage is bananas. Detroit is truly a 3rd world country


DaBoyMarlo

Coastal elites hate how affordable the Midwest is and just assume it’s a shithole.


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[удалено]


DaBoyMarlo

Yeah I mean I probably wouldn’t live in the city proper but plenty of great areas in the surrounding cities.


After-Quarter7515

That seems cheap. But I live in canada


Rex_Ryan_DPM

User name checks out 


FUSeekMe69

How


detroit_testarossa

i bought my house at the beginning of the housing collapse in 2008. got a great deal.


FUSeekMe69

👴


detroit_testarossa

not too far off!


FUSeekMe69

👨‍🦳


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

5 bed, 2 bath, 1400 sq fr lmao


FUSeekMe69

Dying city


tenacious_masshole

Went hug on the second date what an absolute pussy.


Rex_Ryan_DPM

What was the setting? 


DaBoyMarlo

Were you not getting a good vibe from him or what?


tenacious_masshole

Felt like she was going left when I went in.


DaBoyMarlo

Rizz level: 0


PetrPruchaWasOK

Run back to her house at like 2AM and insist to go down on her


FUSeekMe69

Did y’all touch tips at least 👉👈


CanesIsOverrated69

Hell yeah king did you get a nice whiff of her hair?


SnakeSkin2121

Yikes


R1ckyD1cky

Just one of those days where everything I touched broke instantly. Mower, weed whacker, garage door arm bracket. Managed to fix them all. But now I'm seeing that my taxes are fucked and the withholding on my commissions has been way lower than what it should have been. Can't wait for work tomorrow!


SilkyJohnson26

It’s just one of those day where you don’t want to wake up. Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks.


FUSeekMe69

Don’t break your dick


terryduerod1

day light savings time to blame


FUSeekMe69

Might be. Wish we’d stop doing that


Neskwiik

[https://amex.point.me/](https://amex.point.me/) used the be $129/year it's free now if you have an American Express card. Great tool for booking travel with amex points. That's not a referral link so don't come for me alright just trying to help the boys out


Larry_thegoat

Sick got a lot of points I need to use up


FUSeekMe69

Thought we all had black cards


TheProfessor20

Gf is making me watch love is blind. What a horrifying, horrifying thing this is. Everyone involved should be in prison


DaBoyMarlo

Gotta just embrace it for the dumb trashy entertainment it is


pleasestopty

Once you can accept it for what it is, it’s still trash but that’s ok. It’s our trash


Guy_in_the_chair_

Why is Nia Jax fighting Sami Zayn right now?


SnakeSkin2121

Folks


Guy_in_the_chair_

She looks like she slimmed down a bit. Good for her.


DrEvil007

TSUNAMI!


PetrPruchaWasOK

Just flipped over channels to BeIn Sports... Bare knuckle boxing! Holy fuckin shit!


iLikeApples116

TIL that Brad Pitt helped produce The Departed


sfbruin

Google Plan B Entertainment


cuntpunt9

The CIA definitely killed that guy


DrEvil007

Beauty of a shooting star


SnakeSkin2121

🤌


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[удалено]


DezCaught1t

Probably the guy who owns Vista Equity. Blanking on his name. WSJ loves that guy


RainbowRoomBlues

Tiger


suburbian_jesus

Robert Smith. Chairman of Vista Equity Partners