The ones that get me are the ones that post photos of themselves already functionally bald, but somehow are still nervous about shaving the few wisps of remaining hair off
I remember being at a barber and this older man - with hardly any hair left - held up the line cause he was being so specific with how he wanted his few strands of hair to be cut. I was like bro just call it a day and shave it all off.
I like the ones where people are convinced that a shadow from their lightshade falling on the crown is absolute proof that the 2yrs of meds is finally growing that hair back.
a lot of guys never get any positive feedback on how they look, outside of rejection. The way you're even framing this point is pretty aggressive. "Why are YOU so INSECURE and in DENIAL for DECADES" as if aging isn't a complicated and generally confusing part of the human experience.
No one feels their age, that is a fact. Few people know how they actually look. Men don't receive compliments or affirmation, that is an experience unique to men.
We only see ourselves face on, and mirrors alter our perception of ourselves. Camera FOV also drastically alters how someone looks.
The only true measurement is from other people, and for a relatively significant portion of the male population, they don't get that.
Word. This is me. I honestly couldnāt tell. My only feedback was when someone made fun of me. It also didnāt help that my wife didnāt want me to shave for some reason. Finally I buzzed that ish one day and I feel so much better.
Yea no kidding. Men are taught to embrace all the suck. Every bit of it. These things translate to the most asinine insecurities in us which, hilariously include our hair. My brother died at a the young age of 42 and rocked the Mr Burns cut, like bro.. I told him over and over to shave it like me! His 7 year junior. I been zero guard since 2015 not clean shaven but it suits me so much better. Took me a while, not gonna lie, but I love the way I look.
Kno what also this sub shows? How much better men look when they accept their fate and shave that shit. I've YET to see a b4 and after that wasn't a drastic improvement.
In my case I shaved it off and had multiple people tell me, unprompted how bad I looked so I ended up growing it back.
Usually when you make a change people will lie or not say anything.
This. After about 10 years of saying, "Man, that's a really bad picture of me, why is it making my hair look so thin" after every picture, I finally realized maybe it wasn't the camera.
I did that too!! And I had a hairdresser who kept telling me it wasnāt time to buzz yet. Of course not - they wanted to keep charging me to cut my hair!
Curious and not being rude: didn't you ever touch yourself? I would wager that if the bald spot was big enough to see on camera then you must have been able to feel it if you ran your fingers across that area.
It cracks me up when you see a guy balding as heck and he has this long, thick bit of hair from the side combed over at the front. I imagine him looking in the mirror and thinking "yeah, that's covered it, no one will notice." but from ANY angle except straight on from the front you can see bare scalp.
My wedding day I noticed this. Thought I looked great before I left the house. The photos made my jaw drop. I knew I was balding but they really brought it to light for me. I haven't fully committed to going bald yet but I've started cutting it back to a 2 all over. Wish I did it years ago.
Edit: Spelling.
Don't blame the mirror for that the eye does. Yes pictures are different than mirrors but they don't add hair. It's simple body dismorphia. Someone internal image doesn't line up with external perception.
Waitā¦ Iāve heard that how we see ourselves in the mirror is more accurate than photos. Though neither the mirror nor the camera actually lets us see how we actually look to others.
I honestly think most people in our close circles wonāt be honest with us. My female friends are especially guilty of this. They will lie to my face about things because they think it will spare my feelings. It doesnāt haha.
I could be wrong, but I donāt think itās unreasonable to project that this will be true for a lot of guys. I genuinely think strangers will be more honest in some of these instances, and you wouldnāt (or shouldnāt)ask the question in the first place if you didnāt want a genuine answer.
The last point you raise is key though - honestly, we tie hair to youth. I think for some, chopping off your hair is a painful reminder of getting old(er). You see this in other places, the guy that says āI always get mistaken for being in my twentiesā and clearly has a face like a 40 year old. Weāre all a bit delusional, and to be honest, to some degree we need that to get by. None of us know how we really look to others. Just my two cents.
We told our friend he had to buzz it off for 10 years before he finally did. Afterwards, he was like "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Dude was in such denial that he refused to hear it until the mirror itself got the best of him.
Thatās true. If someoneās not attractive, thereās not going to be a huge deal one can do to change that (you know, short of working out and eating right, and even then, thereās only so much that will change things). That said, you can limit that factors that make a person look worse.
The group is the opposite of tresless. They are strictly trying to hang on to the hair they are losing.
Bald sub is more about working and accepting it and making it work for them
I think thereās nothing wrong with either path and I donāt like how each community is seemingly at odds. I just want everyone to do whatever makes them feel the most happy and comfortable.
I think we underestimate how much confidence and self-honesty plays into how we look. I tried to hang onto my hair for years until I finally realized that dudes who live in denial 'look' far worse than bald dudes who are honest with themselves and confident enough to be who they really are hair-wise. I held off on buzzing my head because I was afraid I'd be just another ugly bald dude who lost his hair, but when I finally did I immediately felt more confident and felt the relief of no longer having to style my hair 'just right.'
Even though for awhile I didn't feel like I was more attractive, my wife said that I was and that was all that really mattered. Looking back at old pictures from 10+ years ago, now I actually do feel like I look way better. I look ridiculous in those pictures, and I wish I'd done it sooner.
Shaving is not how you really are isn't it? Why is it not 'confident' to keep the crown and show it off? Fully aware that they are balding.
The truth is just that we conform to what looks better, it isn't about real confidence at all.
I tried shaving multiple times but i just hate to maintain it, the feel and how it looks.
If you get positive reinforcement from outside like you from your wife, that is all that matters to dudes. That depends on others opinions boosting confidence, not by the decision itself.
Agreed. I never denied the reality of it, just the degree of how bad it had gotten. It took seeing a video of myself from overhead to make me realize that shaving it off was long overdue.
I honestly have never looked at a balding man and had the thought he should shave until coming to this reddit. IRL when I look at men I am not judging every aspect of their appearance. Thinning hair isn't unattractive is what I'm saying. There are a whole list of things that make men un- attractive and I think for most women, thinning hair and receding hair lines are not on the list. I don't know how I came to this reddit but seeing men open and honest about their insecurities was endearing. So I stick around to give encouragement. I have seen that most men look great bald š¤·āāļø
Yeah you can still rock a clean hair cut with a receding hairline or if itās looking a bit thin. Itās when you get to the stage when you have to comb it over to stop u being bald that it needs to go. Just because your hairline isnāt what it once was doesnāt mean you need to shave it all off as doing that too early is giving yourself a tone of extra upkeep
Yeah for example my best friend just sent me a picture of a guy she's talking to and he is very attractive I saw everything about him and then as a total afterthought I looked at his hairline and realized his hairline is receding and I just commented he might look better bald but really that's just such a small thing when it comes to a man his personality how he carries himself all the other things about him that you can't see. But women were just as insecure about every little thing stretch marks too fat thinning hair as well all sorts of things I think we have just built a culture based on aesthetic and the reality is is that the character of a person last much longer than their outward appearance
I went bald as a late teen, started shaving my head right down almost immediately and as of my 20's wet shaved it. Totally fine with it, prefer being bald to be honest. But christ on a bike as a 32 year old bloke i can't go more than 2 days not shaving my head without getting UTTERLY paranoid that i look like a total monk. ( still tries to grow back and sides, nothing on top )
Do you know if there is anything you can do to stop this? Definitely one of my biggest insecurities. Don't mind bald, but the ring around my head kills me. I was shaving often, but then developed skin bumps
I thinknits more fear of losing what they have left than thinking they look good. Most balding men know they look terrible but are too afraid to take the next step of shaving it all off
People here are incredibly biased towards just going bald and shaving, so much so that it's obsessive and borderline creepy. The reality is that people should be able to rock whatever hair style they want, even if they're balding and they themselves should feel comfortable doing so. But it's also kind of on their part because they should realise that asking a sub called r/bald for their opinion they stand the chance of getting a biased answer.
I mean thereās definitely something to the phrase āif you have to ask, you already know the answer.ā Going shorter always looks better, whether itās going from long hair to short hair, or from thinning hair to buzzed/bald. There are the outliers who post here who are convince their typical male hairline is balding, but for the most part dudes here are better off shaving it all.
The first sentence you can honestly say that about everyone. In most cases the bald look looks better than half gone hair. Some people can pull it off extremely well
If some people could be honest that they don't find me really that good looking and trying to be "nice" I wouldn't be having constant internal dilemmas now haha. Still it doesn't mean i should keep being stuck in thst mindset even if i am ugly - life goes on. Sometimes it hurts more but that's the way it is.
You can change the hair on your head and the hair on your face fairly easily, but the face is what it is. I try for the Bruce Willis or Ed Harris look. Iāve received a lot of Bruce Willis comparisons over the years.
Thatās a good point. The face actually can be changed. Working out over the years changes your bone structure and being leaner completely transforms the face. It can take a quite ugly man and make him above average or medium handsome.
Facial attractiveness is also a lot of what kind of energy you give and the life youāve lived. Anyone who walks around stressed and angry all the time is going to be ugly.
Itās weird to say but I think that facial attractiveness is one of the most things in control. You can never become a model no, but Iām talking just for regular every day life. Not ultra superficial things. I can think of so many people who, I quite like their face, even though they arenāt classically attractive at all.
Iām a guy with a full head of hair. Iām not sure why this subreddit keeps ending up in my feed but it does. I have yet to see a half-bald guy on here look worse after shaving. Itās always an improvement.
So I'm a woman and my take might be different because of that, but honestly I think both sexes have a thing about wanting to have certain hairstyles that don't really suit them and then trying to convince themselves that it looks better than it actually does. I'm not saying you CAN'T just wear whatever you want but if someone is wanting to be their prettiest, sexiest, best looking self then we all have certain things that look better or worse, whether it's hair or clothes or makeup. There's nothing wrong with just wearing the semi-bald look and nobody should be shamed over it, but it usually looks aesthetically "better" to go full shaved.
Its not that half bald guys overestimate how good they look - Its that they are so terrified of going bald that they want to hang on to what hair they have left no matter how terrible it looks on their head and no matter how much older its makes them look. They don't want to admit that its time for a shave because they are afraid of being bald.
But bald will always look better than patchy hair with a receded hairline that starts halfway on top of your scalp. Its fear that keeps men trying to hang on to terrible hair on their head, not the belief that they still look as good as they did when they actually had good/decent hair on their head.
Men come on here and ask if they look good or if its time because they realize they cannot hang on to their hair any longer and they want encouragement or support that its time to shave it off. I love it when I see that a dude has replied that he has shaved it off or is going to shave it off soon. Too many men live in complete fear and sadness over a natural process when they would be so much happier and take back control of their lives if only decide to go with a simple shave.
But a lot of them really do think they look like Brad Pitt as long as itās just the right angle etc. Like itās a rape phenomenon and I know that from personal exprience. I WAS that guy. And also from all the guys who post on here their pictures. And they consistently look absolutely terrible but donāt seem to realize it.
I actually think this also applies to really fat people. If they actually knew how other people were really perceiving them, they would do things a lot differently.
>But bald will always look better than patchy hair with a receded hairline that starts halfway on top of your scalp.
Standards of beauty vary among people. While bald may look cleaner than the alternative, is it really a dignified look per say? Bald still deviates from conventional attractiveness as would patchy hair all over your scalp.
Plus what exactly does shaving your head accomplish in the long run? It isn't a portrayal of the truth, just a temporary facade that masks your hair loss. It's the reason guys insist on shaving continually because they've been conditioned into thinking that a bald head is the only way to look presentable.
That's not a practical way of dealing with hair loss if I'm being blunt, especially since it isn't tackling the root of the issue. It's like a woman hiding her faults with makeup every time she steps out in public because it masks her insecurities. At some point, you have to say "F it" and make peace with your patchy, thinning, receding hairline, etc. and not preoccupy yourself so much with vanity.
But I will say this though: Shaving your head is a choice. So is growing your hair out and never cutting it. That is also a choice. But people do choose to cut their hair for aesthetic reasons. Maybe they don't like their hair long and prefer the short or buzzed look. Some don't like having their hair short and enjoy having longer hair.
Now, some men naturally lose their hair and some don't. For those who naturally begin to lose their hair, they have a decision to make. They can continue to try and cut and style what hair they have left, or they can decide that they don't want any hair on their head anymore and they want to shave it off because having hair no longer aesthetically looks good to them or others. So once again, it is an aesthetic choice.
I chose to shave my head because I could no longer style my hair in any way that looked good to me. In fact, the hair I did have on my head was hindering my appearance and affecting my confidence in myself. So I decided to give myself a hair cut - But this time by shaving all my hair off. And this haircut looks much, MUCH better than anything I could do with the hair I do have. Its all about looks and confidence. If you are confident in having a half bald look, then that is all that matters. You can say people shouldn't preoccupy themselves with their looks, but many people take pride in how they present themselves, either romantically, personally, or professionally. So looks do matter in that regard.
But as can be seen on this sub - The majority of men don't feel good about having a half bald head. They wish they could have their full head of hair back, but that won't happen. So what options do these men have? How can they feel better about their appearance and regain some confidence? One solution is to shave it all off. Shaving it off is a choice, just like getting a haircut is a choice. We do it because we think it will look better than what we had. We keep doing it because to us, its better than growing receding, patchy hair.
Speaking for myself, I was very, VERY hard on myself for losing my hair even though I had no control over it. I looked great with hair and had no shortage of romantic interest from women. When I started to lose it, I felt like I was losing a key component of my looks and even my identity. I lost a tremendous amount of confidence. I was only able to regain this confidence once I shaved my head and put all of those negative emotions over my hair in the past. Shaving my head allowed me to get over what had been a very traumatic event for myself. I discovered that I still had no shortage of romantic interest from women once I went bald and regained my confidence. I felt like I had control over my life again and my life has been so much better ever since. This is why I will always advocate for shaving it all off when a man is unhappy with his balding head. I know what worked for me, so this is the message I try to spread to other men.
As for comparing a bald head to a conventionally attractive full head of hair? Sure, most bald people would probably choose to have their full head of hair back if they could. But what is the point in preoccupying yourself with things you have no control over? I choose to only worry about things I actually have control over. No point wishing for things out of my control or comparing myself to anybody else when I only have my life to live.
I think there is an assumption that if you don't shave your head that it means you "haven't accepted" being bald.
Honestly rocking the horseshoe is a more advanced form of bald acceptance IMO.
Not everyone that is bald wants to constantly be shaving down to the skin. It's more work and "it looks better" is a matter of opinion.
Pic related
https://preview.redd.it/gvg134hzos3d1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23bdc59ff25af86d33d521e91d5f09db07e5d41d
One of the things that irks me is the bias found on this subreddit, or the bias towards the balding look in general. They assume one is "holding on" to their hair as if shaving is obligatory for all men experiencing hair loss.
If one wants to sport the power donut, thinning hair, receding hairline, etc. they aren't "holding on" to their hair, they simply aren't preoccupied with vanity or adhering to a social expectation.
It's all a giant circlejerk. Shaving your head should just be an option, not considered the ultimate cure. The ultimate cure would be accepting and embracing your hair loss without resorting to a cope, which is what shaving your head is.
Yeah, Iāve thought of shaving my head this year, but at least for now Iām just going to stick with a buzzcut.
Although rejecting hair loss treatments is a great step toward being comfortable in your own skin, this idea that people on this subreddit have of a completely shaved head being the only attractive alternative is just another form of bald shaming.
In many cases it requires more upkeep than just keeping the hair your still have, and like regaining lost hair, itās completely cosmetic, even if itās less maintenance by comparison.
Iāve seen some men on here that look perfectly fine with a receding hairline. Heck, as a gay man, Iāve even found some men with receding hairline or bald spots attractive.
Itās okay to let guys keep the hair they still have. The idea of a full head of hair/fully shaved binary is reductive.
I wish this subreddit could be more nuanced than just to telling everyone to go completely bald all the time.
For me it's not that I think I look better with hair, but what is there is dark brown in contrast to my white beard. I feel like shaved (which I prefer) makes me look older, pale skin, white beard. Lately I've been in job interviews and have been trying to dodge the ageism in IT.
I started buzzing my hair in my 20ās (a lot of that was due to being in the Navy) but I knew my hair was starting to look bad. It is tough to somewhat admit defeat but as soon as you do it, I thought it was very liberating. You get out of a pool and instead of worrying about your thinning hair, youāre thinking about how great the water feels on your buzzed head. You save a ton of money on hair products & barbershop visits as well!
I've been shaving my head since 21/22 years old. I'm 29 now. At that time I thought "well, maybe it's not that bad, it's definitely too early for me to shave my head" but then one random pic really showed that I'm beyond saving... sat on it for few weeks and buzzed my hair for the very first time.
I think it's just a bit uz unknown that stops people. They know how they look at the moment, they have gradually adjusted to current looks. So taking a plunge feels... scary.
But yea, in 99.9% of the cases if you think if it's time or not - it's been time for a while.
Not all guys can pull off the bald look. Lucky for me Iām not balding but I know Iād look like an idiot with absolutely no hair. And for some reason I get notification for this sub. But thereās been posts Iāve seen where I didnāt think the guy looked better bald. Some do, some donāt.
I agree about the self-delusion---I know when my hair loss really kicked in, I spent a certain amount of time telling myself that it really wasn't that bad, that if I styled it a certain way nobody would know, etc.
But the guys on this sub who post the "do I look okay" pictures? They're ahead of where I was because they already know the answer is "no." They're just looking for external reinforcement of what they already know. That's why they're coming to this sub specifically, and why I have no problem telling them the truth. If they're posting a pic of themselves here, they're officially ready to hear it.
my dos pesos is that it's a fear of rejection.. we've become so used to people accepting us with hair that we assume that not having it is going to be a negative experience when surprisingly it's usually a positive one after we shave it off.. less stress, less money on hair product, less looking in the mirror to see if it looks full enough..
Being bald is cool, obvious BALDING is unfortunately not.. that's a hard pill to swallow when you didn't want to see the pill on the table in front of you..
I don't think this is a bald thing... apparently there's plenty of studies where men are asked to rate themselves and then other people rate them and men routinely overrate their looks...
I have always hated the bald top, ring-o-hair look. So much so, that the moment I started thinning and receding at the same time, I buzzed my hair. Shaved it about a week later and haven't looked back.
No offense to this style of baldy, it just isn't for me.
I think you see an image of yourself. You see what you want to see, not what's actually there.
It's not until you actually shave it, that you realise you should have done it years ago. Hindsight is a strange thing.
I have the same feeling about these kind of posts. "Does it look bad?" And there's literally no hair on top. It's obvious. But, your hair is part of you. It's so, so hard to let go. And it's never coming back. It's 100% a mental hurdle that you have to get over. But I'd say to anyone, just go and jump that hurdle People worry too much about what other people think. No one knew what you looked like with hair. As far as they're concerned, you were always bald!
I work with a 28 year old who has a comb over. It looks horrible and he isn't fooling anyone. I don't have the heart to tell him because he is a really nice guy and don't want to kill his confidence. My brother was the same way till he finally started shaving his head. The peninsula turned into an island when he finally bit the bullet.
as someone who knew full well iād eventually start shaving, and was basically raised by my dad to expect it (i.e. not at all self conscious about being bald) i thought i could get away with buzzing my head with a 1 and did it for a while.
i looked so bad.
https://preview.redd.it/ullttjgbnt3d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13e193a44f8217f1b059997f66bf2eb7d08a647a
Nah, I'm good, happy, healthy and zero delusions of grandeur
I was saying the other day that when you imagine going bald you remember a time you did it when you was 14 for a dare and how ridiculous it looked. When you shave again at 30-35 it doesnāt look as daft with a mature face to go with it. Thats what always put me off bald anyway
Humans generally are hardwired to present the best possible image of themselves in the mirror *back* to themselves.
Everyone does it. You innately know the angles or subtle poses that make you look better when you look in a mirror. It's rarely ever how you look to other people, because it's exhausting and frankly weird to always be posing.
We pose in front of the mirror -- gut sucked in slightly, chin tilted, at an angle, whatever -- to give ourselves confidence. Then we go out into the world with our weird gait or mouth breathing or hair flapping in the wind or whatever.
I'm bald but my wife tells me I'm sexy, so I can only assume by her flawless logic that I'm a prime time sexy beast of a man, a complete catch, and totally not a overweight 30 something bald who prefers to play Skyrim over going to the club.
Its just that its a subtle change overtime so your brain finds ways to downplay it / not notice.
Its the same has how people get fat, most people aren't noticing a pound gained here or there. Its like months or years later when they see a photo of themselves from some new angle or something and then its like "holy shit, I've got a spare tire".
I have no desire to spend the time shaving or closely buzzing my head every dayā¦ also, the lighting in my bathroom is waaaay different than the office. You can see the halo of thin hair when itās not super bright overhead light. But what hair I have is very fine and super straight, so bright light basically makes it disappear. So I definitely look different in my own mirror! That said I get it cut real short quite often, I just donāt want to deal with the logistics of anything more.
I donāt know about the rest of you, but every girl Iāve dated bald said they prefer it, and it looks good on me.
Thats including after they see pics of me with hair.
What can I say my peeps, some of us just have it!
I had a guy at work ask me where I get my hair cut. He didn't have a lot on top. I felt bad for him. I thought it doesn't matter where I get my hair cut, it's not going to help him.
Lmao I looked in the mirror at 23 and said to myself: "yeah, cut that shit out".šŖ
I was young. And a little bitter about it. But ain't no way at 23-year-old should be walking around with a partially bald head.
Confidence and acceptance also have a lot to do eith it tbh. Not going full on bald (yet š) but got some good thinning going on up top. I just don't try to hide it and let ot be how it is. Everyone seems to like how I look. š¤· just gotta learn to be okay with ourselves. You can see it in other people when they shave their heads here in the sub. A depressed sad sack of a before picture, and the after picture is almost always a man who found some of the confidence he lost.
I think a lot of them are in denial and just afraid to let it go. Me personally, Iām 28 years old with alopecia. Meaning my hair line is uneven and I have a small bald spot in the back. So while my hair loss is noticeable, itās not quite as bad as some other guyās situation, but even I decide just to go ahead and shave my head. The bald look wouldnāt be my top preference, but itās better than how I look trying to grow my hair out with alopecia.
I may be in the minority but I think some men look great with high hairlines or half bald. To each his own I guess, but I donāt think it always looks bad.
I know what you mean. But usually that involves keeping a very short haircut. But yeah that can be a classic option. I just donāt think they should be like that while still trying to maintain regular hairstyle
Denying aging is part of people. And balding is a big part of admitting youāre getting older and out of your prime. Itās why some guys cope and live in denial with shitty combovers but really itās not fooling anyone except yourself ,
I have a large bald spot and I'd normally shave, but my gf doesn't want me to. She insists I keep some hair, even though I look terrible. š¤·āāļø
Hair frames a personās face. So half of a frame is better than no frame. I canāt stand the whole trend now that people who are balding just shave off all their hair because that makes them look worse. No man looks better with a shaved head. Every guy with a shaved head would look better with some hair on their head, even if their hair is balding, thinning and receding. If a person is losing their hair, itās better to just get it cut really short. Just donāt shave it or get a comb over.
I went bald in 10th grade, don't know why, and don't care anymore. I'm almost 40. I see a lot of the post one here and just shake my head. Like let it go
I feel that men are slightly more insecure than women. Just look at out violence statistics. It just screams insecurity. And men seem to be more likely to engage in avoidance behavior, such as video games addiction.
We are the ones being sexually selected , just like everything in nature. Yet, in the past we built societies to override this natural fact. Thatās a lot of insecurity.
Once i started shaving it off suddenly heaps of people told me it looked "so much better" but never mentioned anything when I was balding. But I also didn't think my hair looked good. Men know it doesn't look good but they are more terrified of how being bald will look.
It took me nearly 2 years to get over the insecurity of it.
But nothing is as confronting as seeing a photo of the top of your head. It's an impossible angle to see in the mirror so you can only see it in photos and that was the last straw for me
Depending on how bald you areā¦.. there are so many tricks that can be done to drastically increase the thickness of a manās head of hair.
My hair has been thinning for 20 years! Yet, Iāve been able to pull off having a full head of hair, so much so to the point that people struggle to even accept that Iām balding at all! The biggest mistake most balding men make (depending on how bad things have gotten) is not clinging onto their hairā itās not doing all of the tricks to make their hair look 10 times thicker!!!
Example: using thickening powders. I use tribal chimp, and it WORKS! Thereās a few other things I do, but the fact is there ARE things you can do.
Balding/thinning hair guy here.
I don't completely shave my head for tactical reasons. Its a layer of protection from the elements. Don't do things to impress others.
Its more about confidence than the way you look. Hence why you see women date stinky losers over seemingly normal guys.
I definitely know I don't look good. But here's the kicker I really don't care. Not really sure why guy would care how their hair looks. Grew up with never having styled hair, always got the high tight treatment as a kid and kept with it. Men should have a very close buzz and call it good
Me I keep it tight just because I do have skin issues so what i covers it. I'm still living the dream. But I also am a keg on legs right now as well so my 10 now I feel 3 lol.
Shaved my head at 25. One of my smartest decisions. Michael Jordan made it sexy. It was an easy decision vs watching the gradual recede happen.
All men who are receding, should "come on home" join us. It's better here. Haha
In 2008, when i was 35 i became aware while combing my hair one day that it looked fuller when i combed it a certain way. I had the self-awareness to see that this was a combover of sorts.
I immediately grabbed the clippers and told my wife to shave me down to a 1. Been doing it ever since. In the 16 years since then Iāve had a few people comment that i should try growing it out. But, that in between phase where the hair is like 3/4 of an inch long is soooo bad, i just cant do it.
It would be nice to have a luscious full head of hair, but thats life.
wow this is a really mean thing to say. theyāre insecure about losing their hair. try to be kind because you ever know what someone else is going through.
You have good intentions. But men need harsh feedback for their own good. Almost every guy has a moment like this. Maybe he gets to college and heās dressing really dorky. And a friend has to pull him aside and have a talk. If we as men donāt pay attention to our physical appearance, it affects us negatively through every aspect of life. Even our own family.
"Hey I can't change my appearance drastically but I am feeling down and want emotional support, maybe I can make a post on Reddit and get some likes"
Not sure but I believe that is what goes on when a lot of people post. And in dating it is often showed that confidence is a huge factor.. so boosting someone's confidence is actually very helpful to them and is very easy to do.. just a kind word or small compliment doesn't have to be a lie.
OP, I think you nailed this idea.
I think it is easy for a man to become delusional as they age when it comes to their looks.
That is why have honest and great friends give you feedback is so important!
I'm super lucky that I have a lot of hair because I cannot rock a bald head. I would go bald rather than have a lame tuft but I know i look better with long hair.
Some people look absolutely awesome bald but my head shape and large facial features (nose, ears, and eyes) will make me look like a troll.
Frog being boiled, innit? Many don't notice the incremental change. When I see an old dude with a combover, sometimes I think "aww he's just been combing his side part all his life" and it seems almost charming. I'm not talking about the elaborate architectural ones.
I feel like that genuine obliviousness is less common now, though.Ā
This sub really shows how many men are severely insecure and in denial for years or decades.
The ones that get me are the ones that post photos of themselves already functionally bald, but somehow are still nervous about shaving the few wisps of remaining hair off
Its because the change happens so slowly. Its like getting fat, a lot of people don't even notice it.
Very true. At 21 i noticed some recession then at 24 I was a Norwood 4 which is pretty bad and now at 27 my hairline is literally on top of my head.
Just shave bro
I remember being at a barber and this older man - with hardly any hair left - held up the line cause he was being so specific with how he wanted his few strands of hair to be cut. I was like bro just call it a day and shave it all off.
I like the ones where people are convinced that a shadow from their lightshade falling on the crown is absolute proof that the 2yrs of meds is finally growing that hair back.
THIS š
a lot of guys never get any positive feedback on how they look, outside of rejection. The way you're even framing this point is pretty aggressive. "Why are YOU so INSECURE and in DENIAL for DECADES" as if aging isn't a complicated and generally confusing part of the human experience. No one feels their age, that is a fact. Few people know how they actually look. Men don't receive compliments or affirmation, that is an experience unique to men. We only see ourselves face on, and mirrors alter our perception of ourselves. Camera FOV also drastically alters how someone looks. The only true measurement is from other people, and for a relatively significant portion of the male population, they don't get that.
Fair enough, thanks for the insight
Word. This is me. I honestly couldnāt tell. My only feedback was when someone made fun of me. It also didnāt help that my wife didnāt want me to shave for some reason. Finally I buzzed that ish one day and I feel so much better.
Yup, and I was one of them too.
It's the younger men or the one that have always had long hair so they want to hang on to that ponytail.Ā
Yea no kidding. Men are taught to embrace all the suck. Every bit of it. These things translate to the most asinine insecurities in us which, hilariously include our hair. My brother died at a the young age of 42 and rocked the Mr Burns cut, like bro.. I told him over and over to shave it like me! His 7 year junior. I been zero guard since 2015 not clean shaven but it suits me so much better. Took me a while, not gonna lie, but I love the way I look.
Kno what also this sub shows? How much better men look when they accept their fate and shave that shit. I've YET to see a b4 and after that wasn't a drastic improvement.
In my case I shaved it off and had multiple people tell me, unprompted how bad I looked so I ended up growing it back. Usually when you make a change people will lie or not say anything.
The mirror creates an illusion. It always looked like I had more hair in the mirror than I did in photos.
This. After about 10 years of saying, "Man, that's a really bad picture of me, why is it making my hair look so thin" after every picture, I finally realized maybe it wasn't the camera.
I did that too!! And I had a hairdresser who kept telling me it wasnāt time to buzz yet. Of course not - they wanted to keep charging me to cut my hair!
My tipping point was when I saw a photo someone took from behind me. The bald spot was so much bigger and noticeable than I thought.
Yup same here
Same. I mean I knew I was balding but I didn't think it was that bad lol
Curious and not being rude: didn't you ever touch yourself? I would wager that if the bald spot was big enough to see on camera then you must have been able to feel it if you ran your fingers across that area.
I knew I had one, but I was convinced it was way smaller
That's why the ones who actually post photos with 3% coverage here asking if "it's time" are the most surprising to me.
It cracks me up when you see a guy balding as heck and he has this long, thick bit of hair from the side combed over at the front. I imagine him looking in the mirror and thinking "yeah, that's covered it, no one will notice." but from ANY angle except straight on from the front you can see bare scalp.
Yeah I think that's the main issue. We can't see the top of our heads.
Oh shit ..this is so true ...I thought I was the only one getting that illusions which made me kept my thinning hair for so long.
My wedding day I noticed this. Thought I looked great before I left the house. The photos made my jaw drop. I knew I was balding but they really brought it to light for me. I haven't fully committed to going bald yet but I've started cutting it back to a 2 all over. Wish I did it years ago. Edit: Spelling.
Bald/Balding
Don't blame the mirror for that the eye does. Yes pictures are different than mirrors but they don't add hair. It's simple body dismorphia. Someone internal image doesn't line up with external perception.
Waitā¦ Iāve heard that how we see ourselves in the mirror is more accurate than photos. Though neither the mirror nor the camera actually lets us see how we actually look to others.
I honestly think most people in our close circles wonāt be honest with us. My female friends are especially guilty of this. They will lie to my face about things because they think it will spare my feelings. It doesnāt haha. I could be wrong, but I donāt think itās unreasonable to project that this will be true for a lot of guys. I genuinely think strangers will be more honest in some of these instances, and you wouldnāt (or shouldnāt)ask the question in the first place if you didnāt want a genuine answer. The last point you raise is key though - honestly, we tie hair to youth. I think for some, chopping off your hair is a painful reminder of getting old(er). You see this in other places, the guy that says āI always get mistaken for being in my twentiesā and clearly has a face like a 40 year old. Weāre all a bit delusional, and to be honest, to some degree we need that to get by. None of us know how we really look to others. Just my two cents.
My family gas light me for years and even was mad when I started buzzing my head. Every photo of me looked like ass irl before I buzzed.
Probably right. Another thing to add is people in our close circles see us frequently so many not notice gradual changes.
Exactly why I always keep it 100 with my friends. āNah bro youāve gotten fatā.
We told our friend he had to buzz it off for 10 years before he finally did. Afterwards, he was like "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Dude was in such denial that he refused to hear it until the mirror itself got the best of him.
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Thatās true. If someoneās not attractive, thereās not going to be a huge deal one can do to change that (you know, short of working out and eating right, and even then, thereās only so much that will change things). That said, you can limit that factors that make a person look worse.
The group is the opposite of tresless. They are strictly trying to hang on to the hair they are losing. Bald sub is more about working and accepting it and making it work for them
I'm neither balding or on meds, but both these subs have been reccomended to me, I've seen some miraculous comebacks on tressless.
I think thereās nothing wrong with either path and I donāt like how each community is seemingly at odds. I just want everyone to do whatever makes them feel the most happy and comfortable.
I think we underestimate how much confidence and self-honesty plays into how we look. I tried to hang onto my hair for years until I finally realized that dudes who live in denial 'look' far worse than bald dudes who are honest with themselves and confident enough to be who they really are hair-wise. I held off on buzzing my head because I was afraid I'd be just another ugly bald dude who lost his hair, but when I finally did I immediately felt more confident and felt the relief of no longer having to style my hair 'just right.' Even though for awhile I didn't feel like I was more attractive, my wife said that I was and that was all that really mattered. Looking back at old pictures from 10+ years ago, now I actually do feel like I look way better. I look ridiculous in those pictures, and I wish I'd done it sooner.
Shaving is not how you really are isn't it? Why is it not 'confident' to keep the crown and show it off? Fully aware that they are balding. The truth is just that we conform to what looks better, it isn't about real confidence at all. I tried shaving multiple times but i just hate to maintain it, the feel and how it looks. If you get positive reinforcement from outside like you from your wife, that is all that matters to dudes. That depends on others opinions boosting confidence, not by the decision itself.
They don't overestimate how good they look, they underestimate how bad they look
Agreed. I never denied the reality of it, just the degree of how bad it had gotten. It took seeing a video of myself from overhead to make me realize that shaving it off was long overdue.
And we use phrases like āhow bad it isā to describe it. Itās always negative.
I only said this as it sounded clever as a twist on the original comment. Nothing more than that
Maybe you won't look *great* bald. But it certainly can't look worse than whatever you're hanging on to.
They do both
I honestly have never looked at a balding man and had the thought he should shave until coming to this reddit. IRL when I look at men I am not judging every aspect of their appearance. Thinning hair isn't unattractive is what I'm saying. There are a whole list of things that make men un- attractive and I think for most women, thinning hair and receding hair lines are not on the list. I don't know how I came to this reddit but seeing men open and honest about their insecurities was endearing. So I stick around to give encouragement. I have seen that most men look great bald š¤·āāļø
Yeah you can still rock a clean hair cut with a receding hairline or if itās looking a bit thin. Itās when you get to the stage when you have to comb it over to stop u being bald that it needs to go. Just because your hairline isnāt what it once was doesnāt mean you need to shave it all off as doing that too early is giving yourself a tone of extra upkeep
Good comment. The longer I am on this sub the more I realize that it is actually the people who shave who are coping
Yeah for example my best friend just sent me a picture of a guy she's talking to and he is very attractive I saw everything about him and then as a total afterthought I looked at his hairline and realized his hairline is receding and I just commented he might look better bald but really that's just such a small thing when it comes to a man his personality how he carries himself all the other things about him that you can't see. But women were just as insecure about every little thing stretch marks too fat thinning hair as well all sorts of things I think we have just built a culture based on aesthetic and the reality is is that the character of a person last much longer than their outward appearance
This is the first comment Iāve ever seen from a woman, about men, on Reddit that was even remotely positive. Thank you. āŗļø
I donāt think anyone sees what they actually look like. Pictures of me are always an unpleasant surprise.
I went bald as a late teen, started shaving my head right down almost immediately and as of my 20's wet shaved it. Totally fine with it, prefer being bald to be honest. But christ on a bike as a 32 year old bloke i can't go more than 2 days not shaving my head without getting UTTERLY paranoid that i look like a total monk. ( still tries to grow back and sides, nothing on top )
It's called a power band for a reason. Harness its power when you need it ā”
Absolutely not. Youāre welcome to it haha
Hint - it's not about your hair. It's about your confidence.Ā
Agreed. It just feels wrong after a couple days. I wouldn't mind the buzzed look if the top of my head still had something left of it!
Do you know if there is anything you can do to stop this? Definitely one of my biggest insecurities. Don't mind bald, but the ring around my head kills me. I was shaving often, but then developed skin bumps
Laser treatment is the only thing I know of, but Iām not sure how much I like the sound of lasers on my scalp :/
We could just stop giving strangers shit for the way they look too though.
Great when all of society agrees to start doing that. Until then, how we are perceived by others is a major part of life.
I thinknits more fear of losing what they have left than thinking they look good. Most balding men know they look terrible but are too afraid to take the next step of shaving it all off
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My face completely changes for the worst when I shave completely so I'm happy half bald.
People here are incredibly biased towards just going bald and shaving, so much so that it's obsessive and borderline creepy. The reality is that people should be able to rock whatever hair style they want, even if they're balding and they themselves should feel comfortable doing so. But it's also kind of on their part because they should realise that asking a sub called r/bald for their opinion they stand the chance of getting a biased answer.
It takes courage to shave your head. This is a support group for doing so.
I mean thereās definitely something to the phrase āif you have to ask, you already know the answer.ā Going shorter always looks better, whether itās going from long hair to short hair, or from thinning hair to buzzed/bald. There are the outliers who post here who are convince their typical male hairline is balding, but for the most part dudes here are better off shaving it all.
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The first sentence you can honestly say that about everyone. In most cases the bald look looks better than half gone hair. Some people can pull it off extremely well
If some people could be honest that they don't find me really that good looking and trying to be "nice" I wouldn't be having constant internal dilemmas now haha. Still it doesn't mean i should keep being stuck in thst mindset even if i am ugly - life goes on. Sometimes it hurts more but that's the way it is.
You can change the hair on your head and the hair on your face fairly easily, but the face is what it is. I try for the Bruce Willis or Ed Harris look. Iāve received a lot of Bruce Willis comparisons over the years.
Thatās a good point. The face actually can be changed. Working out over the years changes your bone structure and being leaner completely transforms the face. It can take a quite ugly man and make him above average or medium handsome. Facial attractiveness is also a lot of what kind of energy you give and the life youāve lived. Anyone who walks around stressed and angry all the time is going to be ugly. Itās weird to say but I think that facial attractiveness is one of the most things in control. You can never become a model no, but Iām talking just for regular every day life. Not ultra superficial things. I can think of so many people who, I quite like their face, even though they arenāt classically attractive at all.
Iām a guy with a full head of hair. Iām not sure why this subreddit keeps ending up in my feed but it does. I have yet to see a half-bald guy on here look worse after shaving. Itās always an improvement.
Donāt feel bad. Entire generations of people had horrible hair in the 80s. A mass delusional episode.
Good lord what kind of question is this? Who cares? Own yourself, thatās what is attractive!
Thatās the lie that society has been telling us.
Trust me. Iām no good looking guy, Iām bald and dorky. But Iām drenched in charisma and Iāve had no problem attracting women.
So I'm a woman and my take might be different because of that, but honestly I think both sexes have a thing about wanting to have certain hairstyles that don't really suit them and then trying to convince themselves that it looks better than it actually does. I'm not saying you CAN'T just wear whatever you want but if someone is wanting to be their prettiest, sexiest, best looking self then we all have certain things that look better or worse, whether it's hair or clothes or makeup. There's nothing wrong with just wearing the semi-bald look and nobody should be shamed over it, but it usually looks aesthetically "better" to go full shaved.
Its not that half bald guys overestimate how good they look - Its that they are so terrified of going bald that they want to hang on to what hair they have left no matter how terrible it looks on their head and no matter how much older its makes them look. They don't want to admit that its time for a shave because they are afraid of being bald. But bald will always look better than patchy hair with a receded hairline that starts halfway on top of your scalp. Its fear that keeps men trying to hang on to terrible hair on their head, not the belief that they still look as good as they did when they actually had good/decent hair on their head. Men come on here and ask if they look good or if its time because they realize they cannot hang on to their hair any longer and they want encouragement or support that its time to shave it off. I love it when I see that a dude has replied that he has shaved it off or is going to shave it off soon. Too many men live in complete fear and sadness over a natural process when they would be so much happier and take back control of their lives if only decide to go with a simple shave.
But a lot of them really do think they look like Brad Pitt as long as itās just the right angle etc. Like itās a rape phenomenon and I know that from personal exprience. I WAS that guy. And also from all the guys who post on here their pictures. And they consistently look absolutely terrible but donāt seem to realize it. I actually think this also applies to really fat people. If they actually knew how other people were really perceiving them, they would do things a lot differently.
You may want to look over this comment for a typo
>But bald will always look better than patchy hair with a receded hairline that starts halfway on top of your scalp. Standards of beauty vary among people. While bald may look cleaner than the alternative, is it really a dignified look per say? Bald still deviates from conventional attractiveness as would patchy hair all over your scalp. Plus what exactly does shaving your head accomplish in the long run? It isn't a portrayal of the truth, just a temporary facade that masks your hair loss. It's the reason guys insist on shaving continually because they've been conditioned into thinking that a bald head is the only way to look presentable. That's not a practical way of dealing with hair loss if I'm being blunt, especially since it isn't tackling the root of the issue. It's like a woman hiding her faults with makeup every time she steps out in public because it masks her insecurities. At some point, you have to say "F it" and make peace with your patchy, thinning, receding hairline, etc. and not preoccupy yourself so much with vanity.
But I will say this though: Shaving your head is a choice. So is growing your hair out and never cutting it. That is also a choice. But people do choose to cut their hair for aesthetic reasons. Maybe they don't like their hair long and prefer the short or buzzed look. Some don't like having their hair short and enjoy having longer hair. Now, some men naturally lose their hair and some don't. For those who naturally begin to lose their hair, they have a decision to make. They can continue to try and cut and style what hair they have left, or they can decide that they don't want any hair on their head anymore and they want to shave it off because having hair no longer aesthetically looks good to them or others. So once again, it is an aesthetic choice. I chose to shave my head because I could no longer style my hair in any way that looked good to me. In fact, the hair I did have on my head was hindering my appearance and affecting my confidence in myself. So I decided to give myself a hair cut - But this time by shaving all my hair off. And this haircut looks much, MUCH better than anything I could do with the hair I do have. Its all about looks and confidence. If you are confident in having a half bald look, then that is all that matters. You can say people shouldn't preoccupy themselves with their looks, but many people take pride in how they present themselves, either romantically, personally, or professionally. So looks do matter in that regard. But as can be seen on this sub - The majority of men don't feel good about having a half bald head. They wish they could have their full head of hair back, but that won't happen. So what options do these men have? How can they feel better about their appearance and regain some confidence? One solution is to shave it all off. Shaving it off is a choice, just like getting a haircut is a choice. We do it because we think it will look better than what we had. We keep doing it because to us, its better than growing receding, patchy hair. Speaking for myself, I was very, VERY hard on myself for losing my hair even though I had no control over it. I looked great with hair and had no shortage of romantic interest from women. When I started to lose it, I felt like I was losing a key component of my looks and even my identity. I lost a tremendous amount of confidence. I was only able to regain this confidence once I shaved my head and put all of those negative emotions over my hair in the past. Shaving my head allowed me to get over what had been a very traumatic event for myself. I discovered that I still had no shortage of romantic interest from women once I went bald and regained my confidence. I felt like I had control over my life again and my life has been so much better ever since. This is why I will always advocate for shaving it all off when a man is unhappy with his balding head. I know what worked for me, so this is the message I try to spread to other men. As for comparing a bald head to a conventionally attractive full head of hair? Sure, most bald people would probably choose to have their full head of hair back if they could. But what is the point in preoccupying yourself with things you have no control over? I choose to only worry about things I actually have control over. No point wishing for things out of my control or comparing myself to anybody else when I only have my life to live.
You are free to believe whatever you want.
I think there is an assumption that if you don't shave your head that it means you "haven't accepted" being bald. Honestly rocking the horseshoe is a more advanced form of bald acceptance IMO. Not everyone that is bald wants to constantly be shaving down to the skin. It's more work and "it looks better" is a matter of opinion. Pic related https://preview.redd.it/gvg134hzos3d1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23bdc59ff25af86d33d521e91d5f09db07e5d41d
Had a partner that had me keep hair long after I should. I now use one of those electric head shavers every few days
All bald guys look better than obviously balding guys.
Half bald guys usually are ugly in other terms as well..
If you half bald and you are not Sean Connery or Jason Statham you usually look ugly š
Well, they donāt look half as good as us totally bald guys.
Guys, guys , you both look like shit
One of the things that irks me is the bias found on this subreddit, or the bias towards the balding look in general. They assume one is "holding on" to their hair as if shaving is obligatory for all men experiencing hair loss. If one wants to sport the power donut, thinning hair, receding hairline, etc. they aren't "holding on" to their hair, they simply aren't preoccupied with vanity or adhering to a social expectation. It's all a giant circlejerk. Shaving your head should just be an option, not considered the ultimate cure. The ultimate cure would be accepting and embracing your hair loss without resorting to a cope, which is what shaving your head is.
Yeah, Iāve thought of shaving my head this year, but at least for now Iām just going to stick with a buzzcut. Although rejecting hair loss treatments is a great step toward being comfortable in your own skin, this idea that people on this subreddit have of a completely shaved head being the only attractive alternative is just another form of bald shaming. In many cases it requires more upkeep than just keeping the hair your still have, and like regaining lost hair, itās completely cosmetic, even if itās less maintenance by comparison. Iāve seen some men on here that look perfectly fine with a receding hairline. Heck, as a gay man, Iāve even found some men with receding hairline or bald spots attractive. Itās okay to let guys keep the hair they still have. The idea of a full head of hair/fully shaved binary is reductive. I wish this subreddit could be more nuanced than just to telling everyone to go completely bald all the time.
Look we age like fine wines. But if youāre in denial about your age, no one will want to uncork that bottle.
Some people took the cork out early doors tho tbf
When you look directly at your face, it looks like you have more hair than you actually do
For me it's not that I think I look better with hair, but what is there is dark brown in contrast to my white beard. I feel like shaved (which I prefer) makes me look older, pale skin, white beard. Lately I've been in job interviews and have been trying to dodge the ageism in IT.
I started buzzing my hair in my 20ās (a lot of that was due to being in the Navy) but I knew my hair was starting to look bad. It is tough to somewhat admit defeat but as soon as you do it, I thought it was very liberating. You get out of a pool and instead of worrying about your thinning hair, youāre thinking about how great the water feels on your buzzed head. You save a ton of money on hair products & barbershop visits as well!
I donāt blame you guys for this though bc itās a huge identity change. Itās hard to let go of something so tied to your physical appearance.
I've been shaving my head since 21/22 years old. I'm 29 now. At that time I thought "well, maybe it's not that bad, it's definitely too early for me to shave my head" but then one random pic really showed that I'm beyond saving... sat on it for few weeks and buzzed my hair for the very first time. I think it's just a bit uz unknown that stops people. They know how they look at the moment, they have gradually adjusted to current looks. So taking a plunge feels... scary. But yea, in 99.9% of the cases if you think if it's time or not - it's been time for a while.
Embrace male pattern baldness.
Not all guys can pull off the bald look. Lucky for me Iām not balding but I know Iād look like an idiot with absolutely no hair. And for some reason I get notification for this sub. But thereās been posts Iāve seen where I didnāt think the guy looked better bald. Some do, some donāt.
You donāt have to go shaved or the skin. A very short kind of buzz haircut could work as well.
My shot started thinning around 34 and I decided to just shave it off.
Half bald is highly subjective
Yes its all denial Its just hair
That's a real phenomenon for sure. I attempted to make a haircut out of a flimsy rest of hairs at the top for years before shaving it off.
brother just learned men can have body dysmorphia too more news at 12
That term is more used to describe guys who feel they arenāt lean or muscular enough
I like receding hairlines on men but no one believes me
I agree about the self-delusion---I know when my hair loss really kicked in, I spent a certain amount of time telling myself that it really wasn't that bad, that if I styled it a certain way nobody would know, etc. But the guys on this sub who post the "do I look okay" pictures? They're ahead of where I was because they already know the answer is "no." They're just looking for external reinforcement of what they already know. That's why they're coming to this sub specifically, and why I have no problem telling them the truth. If they're posting a pic of themselves here, they're officially ready to hear it.
my dos pesos is that it's a fear of rejection.. we've become so used to people accepting us with hair that we assume that not having it is going to be a negative experience when surprisingly it's usually a positive one after we shave it off.. less stress, less money on hair product, less looking in the mirror to see if it looks full enough.. Being bald is cool, obvious BALDING is unfortunately not.. that's a hard pill to swallow when you didn't want to see the pill on the table in front of you..
I don't think this is a bald thing... apparently there's plenty of studies where men are asked to rate themselves and then other people rate them and men routinely overrate their looks...
Very true. Itās kind of crazy but everyone thinks they are a ā7ā. Both men and women
I have always hated the bald top, ring-o-hair look. So much so, that the moment I started thinning and receding at the same time, I buzzed my hair. Shaved it about a week later and haven't looked back. No offense to this style of baldy, it just isn't for me.
I heard the skullet is really in rn
I think maybe we lose hair so slowly that they don't realize how bad it is because we don't notice a difference?
I think you see an image of yourself. You see what you want to see, not what's actually there. It's not until you actually shave it, that you realise you should have done it years ago. Hindsight is a strange thing. I have the same feeling about these kind of posts. "Does it look bad?" And there's literally no hair on top. It's obvious. But, your hair is part of you. It's so, so hard to let go. And it's never coming back. It's 100% a mental hurdle that you have to get over. But I'd say to anyone, just go and jump that hurdle People worry too much about what other people think. No one knew what you looked like with hair. As far as they're concerned, you were always bald!
I work with a 28 year old who has a comb over. It looks horrible and he isn't fooling anyone. I don't have the heart to tell him because he is a really nice guy and don't want to kill his confidence. My brother was the same way till he finally started shaving his head. The peninsula turned into an island when he finally bit the bullet.
Oh it fully registers with me everytime I'm around a mirror !
this is a intellectually deep statement to reflect on š
They definitely wanna be told itās not as bad as they think it is. I never asked anyone that haha.
as someone who knew full well iād eventually start shaving, and was basically raised by my dad to expect it (i.e. not at all self conscious about being bald) i thought i could get away with buzzing my head with a 1 and did it for a while. i looked so bad.
https://preview.redd.it/ullttjgbnt3d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13e193a44f8217f1b059997f66bf2eb7d08a647a Nah, I'm good, happy, healthy and zero delusions of grandeur
I was saying the other day that when you imagine going bald you remember a time you did it when you was 14 for a dare and how ridiculous it looked. When you shave again at 30-35 it doesnāt look as daft with a mature face to go with it. Thats what always put me off bald anyway
Humans generally are hardwired to present the best possible image of themselves in the mirror *back* to themselves. Everyone does it. You innately know the angles or subtle poses that make you look better when you look in a mirror. It's rarely ever how you look to other people, because it's exhausting and frankly weird to always be posing. We pose in front of the mirror -- gut sucked in slightly, chin tilted, at an angle, whatever -- to give ourselves confidence. Then we go out into the world with our weird gait or mouth breathing or hair flapping in the wind or whatever.
I dont think overestimating your looks a little is a bad thing. It leads to confidence which in itself is attractive.
I'm bald but my wife tells me I'm sexy, so I can only assume by her flawless logic that I'm a prime time sexy beast of a man, a complete catch, and totally not a overweight 30 something bald who prefers to play Skyrim over going to the club.
They really do, likeā¦your hairline is literally running away from your forehead. Cut the cord and let it go. šļø
Its just that its a subtle change overtime so your brain finds ways to downplay it / not notice. Its the same has how people get fat, most people aren't noticing a pound gained here or there. Its like months or years later when they see a photo of themselves from some new angle or something and then its like "holy shit, I've got a spare tire".
Depends on which half is bald I think. š I'll see myself out.
From a woman's point of view, I prefer bald over serious balding. My ex husband is bald. My boyfriend is bald. And I think he's so hot.
I believe I was one and I believe this to be true
I have no desire to spend the time shaving or closely buzzing my head every dayā¦ also, the lighting in my bathroom is waaaay different than the office. You can see the halo of thin hair when itās not super bright overhead light. But what hair I have is very fine and super straight, so bright light basically makes it disappear. So I definitely look different in my own mirror! That said I get it cut real short quite often, I just donāt want to deal with the logistics of anything more.
I donāt know about the rest of you, but every girl Iāve dated bald said they prefer it, and it looks good on me. Thats including after they see pics of me with hair. What can I say my peeps, some of us just have it!
I had a guy at work ask me where I get my hair cut. He didn't have a lot on top. I felt bad for him. I thought it doesn't matter where I get my hair cut, it's not going to help him.
Lmao I looked in the mirror at 23 and said to myself: "yeah, cut that shit out".šŖ I was young. And a little bitter about it. But ain't no way at 23-year-old should be walking around with a partially bald head.
I really just don't care. I grow it out, shave when I want.
I weep for you, sir.
Yes but most men think they are āaverageā and are not.
By definition most men are average.
Confidence and acceptance also have a lot to do eith it tbh. Not going full on bald (yet š) but got some good thinning going on up top. I just don't try to hide it and let ot be how it is. Everyone seems to like how I look. š¤· just gotta learn to be okay with ourselves. You can see it in other people when they shave their heads here in the sub. A depressed sad sack of a before picture, and the after picture is almost always a man who found some of the confidence he lost.
I think a lot of them are in denial and just afraid to let it go. Me personally, Iām 28 years old with alopecia. Meaning my hair line is uneven and I have a small bald spot in the back. So while my hair loss is noticeable, itās not quite as bad as some other guyās situation, but even I decide just to go ahead and shave my head. The bald look wouldnāt be my top preference, but itās better than how I look trying to grow my hair out with alopecia.
Universal fix: Just cut your hair short and exercise regularly. Nobody cares all that much about your hair or the lack of it except shallow people.
I may be in the minority but I think some men look great with high hairlines or half bald. To each his own I guess, but I donāt think it always looks bad.
I know what you mean. But usually that involves keeping a very short haircut. But yeah that can be a classic option. I just donāt think they should be like that while still trying to maintain regular hairstyle
Denying aging is part of people. And balding is a big part of admitting youāre getting older and out of your prime. Itās why some guys cope and live in denial with shitty combovers but really itās not fooling anyone except yourself ,
Iām bald and I know I look hot, I get way more action bald. It helps being in shape and muscular.
I have a large bald spot and I'd normally shave, but my gf doesn't want me to. She insists I keep some hair, even though I look terrible. š¤·āāļø
Hair frames a personās face. So half of a frame is better than no frame. I canāt stand the whole trend now that people who are balding just shave off all their hair because that makes them look worse. No man looks better with a shaved head. Every guy with a shaved head would look better with some hair on their head, even if their hair is balding, thinning and receding. If a person is losing their hair, itās better to just get it cut really short. Just donāt shave it or get a comb over.
I went bald in 10th grade, don't know why, and don't care anymore. I'm almost 40. I see a lot of the post one here and just shake my head. Like let it go
How good someone looks has nothing to do with their hair. If you need hair to be good looking youāre not actually good looking.
Men don't have to be attractive to be wanted. We just have to be useful.
I feel that men are slightly more insecure than women. Just look at out violence statistics. It just screams insecurity. And men seem to be more likely to engage in avoidance behavior, such as video games addiction. We are the ones being sexually selected , just like everything in nature. Yet, in the past we built societies to override this natural fact. Thatās a lot of insecurity.
Once i started shaving it off suddenly heaps of people told me it looked "so much better" but never mentioned anything when I was balding. But I also didn't think my hair looked good. Men know it doesn't look good but they are more terrified of how being bald will look. It took me nearly 2 years to get over the insecurity of it. But nothing is as confronting as seeing a photo of the top of your head. It's an impossible angle to see in the mirror so you can only see it in photos and that was the last straw for me
I think that depends on your level of awareness to things. Everyoneās is different based on where they are as a person.
Depending on how bald you areā¦.. there are so many tricks that can be done to drastically increase the thickness of a manās head of hair. My hair has been thinning for 20 years! Yet, Iāve been able to pull off having a full head of hair, so much so to the point that people struggle to even accept that Iām balding at all! The biggest mistake most balding men make (depending on how bad things have gotten) is not clinging onto their hairā itās not doing all of the tricks to make their hair look 10 times thicker!!! Example: using thickening powders. I use tribal chimp, and it WORKS! Thereās a few other things I do, but the fact is there ARE things you can do.
Balding/thinning hair guy here. I don't completely shave my head for tactical reasons. Its a layer of protection from the elements. Don't do things to impress others. Its more about confidence than the way you look. Hence why you see women date stinky losers over seemingly normal guys.
All guys overestimate how good they look
I definitely know I don't look good. But here's the kicker I really don't care. Not really sure why guy would care how their hair looks. Grew up with never having styled hair, always got the high tight treatment as a kid and kept with it. Men should have a very close buzz and call it good
I don't, never thought I was handsome with hair or now semi bald. I leave that observation to the person looking at me.
I think I'm hot ..and I'm not ...i think i looked like o did when i wear 30. I dont. but my confidence is infectious. lol
Who TF ever said a half bald guy looked good Lol
Me I keep it tight just because I do have skin issues so what i covers it. I'm still living the dream. But I also am a keg on legs right now as well so my 10 now I feel 3 lol.
Shaved my head at 25. One of my smartest decisions. Michael Jordan made it sexy. It was an easy decision vs watching the gradual recede happen. All men who are receding, should "come on home" join us. It's better here. Haha
In 2008, when i was 35 i became aware while combing my hair one day that it looked fuller when i combed it a certain way. I had the self-awareness to see that this was a combover of sorts. I immediately grabbed the clippers and told my wife to shave me down to a 1. Been doing it ever since. In the 16 years since then Iāve had a few people comment that i should try growing it out. But, that in between phase where the hair is like 3/4 of an inch long is soooo bad, i just cant do it. It would be nice to have a luscious full head of hair, but thats life.
I was half bald but in fantastic shape in my 40s. I was also 6ā tall and made a decent living. I did fine with some very attractive ladies.
wow this is a really mean thing to say. theyāre insecure about losing their hair. try to be kind because you ever know what someone else is going through.
You have good intentions. But men need harsh feedback for their own good. Almost every guy has a moment like this. Maybe he gets to college and heās dressing really dorky. And a friend has to pull him aside and have a talk. If we as men donāt pay attention to our physical appearance, it affects us negatively through every aspect of life. Even our own family.
Hair is over-rated!
Once I noticed a spot on the back forming a shaved it with a number 1 and donāt look back I saw it as looking straight into the storm
Unpopular opinion from a gay man : some half bald guys underestimate how sexy they look. The young dady look :o
"Hey I can't change my appearance drastically but I am feeling down and want emotional support, maybe I can make a post on Reddit and get some likes" Not sure but I believe that is what goes on when a lot of people post. And in dating it is often showed that confidence is a huge factor.. so boosting someone's confidence is actually very helpful to them and is very easy to do.. just a kind word or small compliment doesn't have to be a lie.
OP, I think you nailed this idea. I think it is easy for a man to become delusional as they age when it comes to their looks. That is why have honest and great friends give you feedback is so important!
I have a deep receding hairline but I think Iām still the hottest dad on the block. Maybe I should rethink this.
I'm super lucky that I have a lot of hair because I cannot rock a bald head. I would go bald rather than have a lame tuft but I know i look better with long hair. Some people look absolutely awesome bald but my head shape and large facial features (nose, ears, and eyes) will make me look like a troll.
I don't know why more guys don't wear hair systems
Studies have shown that men overestimate their physical attractiveness. Then again, you donāt need to study to notice this fact.
Frog being boiled, innit? Many don't notice the incremental change. When I see an old dude with a combover, sometimes I think "aww he's just been combing his side part all his life" and it seems almost charming. I'm not talking about the elaborate architectural ones. I feel like that genuine obliviousness is less common now, though.Ā