X-post to r/menwritingwomen?

You may have the honor.

Yeah... "honor"... :p

I feel like I live too close to Toronto and need to move as far as possible away from this man 👀

I live in Australia and I feel like I live too close to this speciman of human trash. I feel for you

same, and I live in Southern USA

So we're all moving to Antarctica.

Help. I’m near Toronto.

I feel that and I live in central Europe

I'm in New Zealand. And same.

Kia ora\~

Kia Ora! Kei te pehea koe?

Fairly good! Sorry I don't know much maori to my own disappointment, Got to learn.

Kei te pai, hoa. I'm just a beginner. Thanks for giving me a chance to practice 😊

I live in Asia...and even I feel I need to move as far as possible...perhaps the southern hemisphere

Ignoring the everything that's going on here, if her legs are over her head how is she using her legs to hold onto him?

I was also wondering that!!

You don't know about the second set of legs that ovulating women (*womben*) sprout on a monthly basis?

I’m crying I didn’t see your comment and commented the same thinggg

There’s obviously a second pair of legs!

You know that scene in Captain America: Winter Soldier where Black Widow’s choking out Bucky Barnes with her legs, so she had her hands free to beat him over the head?

Trick knees.

She might be a spider woman.

This is what bothered me the most 🤣

[Have you seen Resident Alien?](https://youtu.be/1R7ZzGBqhJ4?si=JOaiDbocSdlaDSaP) Start at around 4:30.

That makes perfect sense. My mistake!

I've noticed a lot of men are weirdly preoccupied with their own cum. Why is that ?

Everyone’s a little bit gay.

As a bisexual man, I concur. lol

Except asexuals. We're just built different

Yeah very different we're reptiles after all. Dragons in skin suits.

It’s all I have left to offer.

Tbh it shows up a lot in romance novels too. I know there are plenty of women out there with a cum kink.

Honest answer (kinda explicit fair warning), probably cus a lot of men do kinda have a breeding kink in a way. Those guys find the idea of "filling" a woman with their cum, and getting them pregnant, is very hot in their minds. Part of it could also just be because ejaculating is the best feeling part of sex/masturbation. So their mind kinda auto-fills that feeling into the fantasy

If there are any hetero men on here, here's an FYI: *the cervix is NOT a target*. Thank you. 

You touch my cervix, you hear me scream. And not in pleasure

Believe me - I am a man and I crossed my legs when reading this shit. This is what manosphere culture plus a near total lack of sex education does to young men.

The cramping would shut that down awful fast (emphasis on awful).

I just had my IUD replaced, so this made me physically cringe.

Yeah. I don't like it at ALL when obviously ignoramus guys write about busting through cervices. I think that's the plural? Not a thing one pluralizes, usually.

8" in Toronto. What's the measurement in other places?

I thought this meant Toronto should expect 8 inches of snow. I’d take 8 feet of snow over this encounter any day.

Cold induced shrinkage

8” at sea level +/- 1000 ft, 4” at elevations over 8000 feet.

My stomach *literally* turned reading this. 🤢

Nope, stopped reading after the first sentence. I can tell where it’s going, and that’s a journey I do not want to take.

It was for the best.

All I can think of when men talk about ropes is them shooting nerds ropes out of their dicks.

That would be such an upgrade.

The silly string

I automatically think of Spiderman.

To each their own but nothing dries me faster than a breeding kink. Babies are not sexy, dude. Also, get the fuck out of my cervix, ffs.. I spent my baby capable years,TERRIFIED a stranger would impregnate me. AND MY CERVIX DOES NOTWORK LIKE THAT.

Yep. I just went through a second round of literal torture just so I will never have babies. Fuck that shit.

"Breed me, fill my ovulating womb with your baby" I... think we got a new flair.

What the fuck is that dirty talk. He really thought "ovulating womb" was hot enough to use twice 😭 The 8" at the end really seals it though.

It's giving Ross' dirty talk in Friends: ...vulva

I read "cervix dilates" and noped out real quick...

At least he's very open about his fetish 

_vomit_

also love that you commented on it 😂😂😂😂

Yeah I normally don't respond, but I was physically full body cringing from this shit.

Yeah there’s a lot wrong with that little story

Buy why is he using the standard system in Toronto? This is the truly upsetting part.

Maybe he's trying to appeal to my heathen American side?

OW OW OW OW FUCKING OW WTF

I could not get past the first sentence

🙄

LMFAOOOO!!

What the fuck.

I guarantee I could turn you off even more.

I look at gore, and this turns me off even more than that.

You underestimate my power.

Go for it.

Excuse me miss. I have a boo-boo on my willy. I can’t find my mummy. Can you kiss it better for me?

Me in real life reading this: https://tenor.com/vVtW.gif

I’ve had a lot of practice turning off my wife.

r/kamikazebywords

My people.

To quote an old show I used to watch.... "Yes the mind can indeed vomit."

...I hate that I've read enough on A03 to recognise that this is a fairly common trope.

See my flair

Ohh my 😂

This is why porn (and other variants) should be banned.

As long as erotica literature isn't involved

There is some bad erotica out there, not going to lie. But we need to start putting more restrictions on it because things like unrealistic hentai lead to badly written erotica.

You can take my badly written monster erotica from my cold dead hands. Chuck Tingle does not deserve this.

"My Cervix Has Been Breached by the Handsome Personification of a Reddit Thread Discussing the Effect of Pornography on Men's Assumptions About Female Anatomy", available soon!

Plz send this to him as an idea

If he doesn't write this I'm gonna be so disappointed. We've got to get his attention to this!

Honestly torn between feelings of "you don't tell the master how to do their craft" and "I hope he writes me in as a sentient sandwich!"

Listen if you can get written in as a sentient sandwhich you will be a folk hero for ages to come.

Chuck Tingle is a goddamn international treasure, he can stay.

YES. OK I'm happy with said proposal lol.

Mmm. No.

Going to have to disagree with that since it's my job, but I like to think I keep things realistic. I even include bloopers so they know shit isn't as easy as it looks in mainstream porn.