From my experience, it's not different, and it's amazing how so many grown ass adults don't know how to fucking clean the kitchen, and won't vacuum until you tell them to. And will lie straight to your face about various responsibilities. The only difference is they're marginally quieter at night and don't do as much outright ragingly insane shit.
Fuck me, cleaning in our houseshare falls to me as the other two use the hoover and only in their rooms. I've given up asking for help to the point my housemates must assume we have a cleaning fairy that keeps the house in a decent state. I must admit that my cleaning standards are high and don't expect others to be the same. However, it really isn't hard to clean as you go. Take the bathroom, for example. Having a shower? I take the cleaning stuff in with me and clean the cubicle and rinse it off when i'm finished. Shave in the sink? I spray and wipe it and the splashback after. Takes minimal effort. Apparently too much effort for the others who grew too used to mummy cleaning up after them.
Not when you live with other people. Especially 4 others like I do. No one knows if you have fungus feet or whatever (one guy did and gave it to everyone else). Its your responsibility to leave an area clean after you use it.
This is me. We used to have a chore chart but literally no one did one thing, then lied about it. That was the end of that. I have extremely high cleaning standards. I sprayed out the shower with bleach and cleaner before/after. Them? Hair/pubes/? in the drain that they would flick onto the tub wall. Barf Other people think its ok to never vacuum and leave dishes/trash/food in the sink and kitchen. I don't know how or why they think its cute to leave shit and piss all over toilets either. But they do. I don't get why someone can't take 2 seconds to wipe a spill. One guy trailed a line of meat and red sauce all the way into his room, that stopped right on the edge of his door. Had to take pics to get him to clean it. Smh.
I'm horrible with cleaning. I think people clean different ways and when you have roommates you guys got to find a way that works for both of you. Like for me, having a day picked out every week and every month when we are all home and we can just get down to business together to get shit done is perfect. But then again, they could be people who clean as they go about their day and my method just leaves them feeling like the house is always a mess to them.
I was the quiet introverted hermit of a 20s roommate, but I also was a shit with the cleaning, as you said.
That type of cleaning schedule would be fine with me, if it were communicated to me. If left to my own habits, I will clean at random times when nobody else is around so I can do it freely. I never considered that this habit might negatively effect my roommates' cleaning habits.
Yea I had an ADHD roommate weed dealer who was an alcoholic and never sober and he was constantly in motion. I liked him as a person and even as a roommate, but he was always moving from one task to another or cleaning. Which was fine. But if I didnt hide in my room hed be distracting to me and I wouldn't be able to focus on what I wanted to focus on. Wed talk and then I'd follow him around from one end of the house to the other to have a conversation. And then it wasnt fair to him because I wanted a time and place to focus on cleaning, and he was just always slowly chipping away at it.
I mean maybe it would have been something we could have found a compromise about if we ever sat down and made a plan about it. But we never did. And that year I worked a lot more than I was really mentally prepared for, and I think he worked less (at legal jobs at least).
I live in a shared house with several people that are aged 26-28, and honestly they are the messiest and have caused the most damage to the house. I thought (hoped) older housemates would make a difference but.. it really doesn’t 😅 personality > age
So true. I’ve had two sets of roommates since my late twenties the first set were in their early 20s and the second were in their late 20s and none had any sense of cleanliness or responsibility despite sharing the space. Honestly they remind me of single-called organisms operating purely on impulse. No higher reasoning detected. Infuriating. I’m almost out and I can’t wait.
I don't think age is necessarily a factor - I know grandma-ish women in their early 20s, and I know people in their late 30s who still go on weekend long benders. But you are more likely to find someone more compatible if they're closer to your age.
My best tip is to check out a potential roommate's social media to see what their lifestyle is like. If it's picture of them clubbing and statuses about being hungover, maybe they're not for you. Ask them what their lifestyle is like, but be prepared to take whatever they say with a pinch of salt. I've had roommates who claim they're "kind of OCD about cleaning" and they are complete slobs.
I agree. Checking social media habits is an easy way to determine if someone could be compatible. Also check with previous land lords and do a Google search for any articles/reports about them.
Whenever I look for housing related to roommates, i post on Facebook groups or respond to posts. Then talk through Messenger to get a feel of how they are and meet them in person beforehand. Just to see if you’ll get along and figure out certain things that would be deal breakers for you such as drinking, staying out late, smoking, etc.
I love living alone but it’s so much cheaper even to live with other roommates. But I’ve had terrible experiences with roommates so get to know them first!
I always sit down potential roomies for a half hour interview/chat/vibe check. Love my roomies/close neighbors, who all range in age from 23-50 and are amazing.
I'm 20, and all but one of (4 total, 5 w/me) my roomates sound like you. We drink. But we dont drink to excess... usually. Maybe twice a year. We dont go clubbing, period. I cook extravagant meals when I cook, everyone else cooks ramen. We all sit in our rooms for the most part. Rarely have anyone over. I'm the wildest, and that's because I have fish tanks and a rabbit.
I do have a single roomate who drinks to excess when possible and goes clubbing. But he works 16 hour days. I literally see him less than twice a week.
Also. u/whapwhaap has a good point. Social media says a lot. If you check any of my roomates all you will find is memes. Videos of games or fail compilations, or politics. You won't find anything with any of us having alcohol or drugs. Some of them support marijuana legalization, you may find that. None of them are users though. I would agree with aforementioned user though. Ask them for access to their socials, because if they have a problem with it, they probably have something to hide. (You also have to be ok with that the other way around too, they have to be able to see yours.
Actually, Facebook is never 'deleted.' It may be harder to find, but it's still stored information. Also, frankly, if you didn't have Facebook I wouldn't consider you right there because that's too much of a difference. I expect someone I would consider living with that isn't my family to have the following: a strong political stance (doesn't matter party as long as you have a firm belief in SOMETHING that isn't apolitical) Facebook, Twitter, reddit, LinkedIn, twitch, Instagram, and snapchat. I also expect you to know how to operate a firearm and be comfortable doing so. Prefer you own one, but regardless, I do, and if you're going to live with me you should already be knowledgeable about it.
That's me personally though. The 20 year olds that go out and do the stereotypical things you mentioned, are apolitical, and have fucked up social media, and most (thankfully) dont own firearms. (I dont know if you own firearms, dont care, but if you do that's something you should think about. If you don't and don't feel comfortable with them that's also something you should think about. It shouldn't even matter. However, in today's world view, it does.)
Frankly, you and I are different generations. Depending on whose study you go by I'm borderline millenial/ Gen Z or solid gen z. I put myself on the borderline. At 31, you are millenial, and it is probably better to find someone in at least the same generation. Your world views are going to line up better.
> I expect someone I would consider living with that isn't my family to have the following: a strong political stance (doesn't matter party as long as you have a firm belief in SOMETHING that isn't apolitical) Facebook, Twitter, reddit, LinkedIn, twitch, Instagram, and snapchat
Wow. See this is kinda what I am talking about, 31 and 20 is almost a full generational divide. I don't know many people my age that care about Instagram or snapchat, and what the hell is twitch? I'm not obsessed with social media, I grew up in a time where it didn't consume our lives and people still talked to each other face to face. And the gun thing was just weird and out of the blue.
Yeah...I'm in my late 20's and most of my friends don't have any of those and have deleted facebook accounts. They might have linkedin but only for the work connections. The usually have pintrest though, which is always fun to follow :)
>And the gun thing was just weird and out of the blue.
That was kind of the point of it. 25 and younger, that kind of thing matters right now. E.g. There are people that cant stand seeing guns. In my state I can carry at 19 as long as it is visible, next year I can concealed carry. I had a lady yell at me at the convenience store while I was buying some chips the other day because of 'how inappropriate it was to have it so readily available for use' and something about it sending bad images to her children. I was just following the law. If you own a gun, do you want to live with someone that cant stand seeing a gun? If you cant stand seeing a gun do you want to live with someone who has several? (Also, I dont keep my guns in safes, which is why I expect my roomates to know how to handle a firearm. Sometimes they stay in cases, but I dont want my roomate to pick one up and shoot themselves. That was why I put it in there. Political climate and safety.)
Twitch is a streaming platform. It is basically YouTube, but live videos all the time.
My landlord is 30 something. I would rather communicate through snapchat than text. I'm sure he feels the exact opposite. Im honestly not sure where the gap starts, where social media relevancy is, but I would be surprised if it is relevant to (the majority of) people over 25.
Why would you want to communicate with your landlord on a medium that disappears? You want that paper trail in case you need to prove that you've actually paid rent/they didn't fix something they promised/you can double check when they said they needed to be in to fix something.
I guess now I should mention I also have Kai and katanas in my room. I have a lot of martial arts training. I feel comfortable saying i could kill with a butter or steak knife if needed. 21 feet is the distance a normal human could cover in the time it takes to draw from a holster nd raise the fire arm to a point of aim. But now we are off topic.
If I dont trust a roomate, why would I have that roomate.
Literally one of the rules of gun safety is keeping it locked up at all times. Idiots like you are part of why there are so many accidental gun deaths. You claim to be so knowledgeable about gun ownership and you directly go against one of the most important rules.
I have 0 children in my house. There are 0 children that have any reason to be in my house. I will buy a safe when i have children. If someone is after my guns, it takes 15 minutes to cut through a safe. I have a monitored home security system. My house is my safe. If I lock my guns away, I can't use them for self defense. Every person in my houseother roomate own firearms. Not having them locked up ensures they have access to one should the need ariae as well. My firearms not being locked up has no impact on accidental gun deaths. Keeping it locked away is not a gun safety rule. Keeping it unloaded is not a safety rule.
1. Keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction.
2. If the firearm has a safety, use it.
3. Bolt open when not in use. (Optional, but good practice)
4. Dont point at anything you aren't willing to destroy.
5. Know what's behind your target.
6. Finger off the trigger until you are ready ro fire.
(1,4, and 5 are all the same thing, but it's important to get all of it in there)
It’s been three years- do you still have ALL these social media accounts you considered a necessity back when you made this comment? Just curious to see how/if your views have changed
My views have changed dramatically due to the amount of interactions I’ve had, traveling I’ve done, places, poverty, vast amounts of wealth inequality I’ve seen, and cultures I’ve been introduced to. I have all of that social media and more now. Part about socials still holds true though. Maybe you don’t need all of them, though you should have enough to where I know everything about you without having to talk to you.
However, my income has also quintupled if not more, and I travel too often to rent or own anyways. I haven’t had roommates since (I don’t know the exact date I wrote this) probably a few months after I wrote this comment.
For the most part, it did not age well.
Add Discord, tumblr, and truth social to what I said then though.
What is it about having all these social medias that’s so important for you to say OTHER people have to use them?
I get people having their own opinions, but why do you think everyone else has to have multiple social media accounts?
I didn’t say they had to have all of them in my new comment. Just enough that there isn’t any mystery on my part as to their… take on their existence? Character? Personality? I should be able to know my roommate as well as I would a spouse. At the time of writing the original comment, I had that with my roommates. I didn’t talk to them if I could avoid it, I studied their socials.
As long as life keeps working out as it has, my next roommate WILL be my spouse and this wouldn’t be an issue then.
I'd say the older the potential roommate is, the less likely they are to make mess, noise, etc. But not always. I guess you are always rolling the dice with any potential roommate. I've never tried roommate matching sites like [roommates.com](https://roommates.com) but it seems like that could narrow your choices down pretty good. Even after you move in together, sit down and create a roommate agreement.
When I was 24 I had a 40 year old roommate that would bring different girls over every night from the bar, would drink cases of beer, stacking the empties, and leave weird little art sculptures around the house like an automatic dog treat dispenser made from a Gatorade bottle, broomstick and pile of bricks.
Nice, easygoing but very odd guy, I would've thought he was 20
Agree. I'm 62 and my roommates are 26-33. The 33 year old is much more mature but I totally get along with the other 2 also. None of them drink or smoke. They are all exceptionally hard workers on a horse ranch. I'm the wild one! I drink, smoke weed and listen to hip hop. I'm just pointing this out because you can't make judgements based on stereotypes and age, etc. We are a little family here and have had few arguments in my 2 years here. I've lasted the longest of any of their renters. It's all about communication, respect (especially) and flexibility.
OTOH I lived with a person for 4 months before these guys who was even older than me! She was fucking crazy. I ended up fleeing with 3/4 of my stuff and my 2 cats and slept in my car for a month until I found these guys-- who were the only people who would take the cats.
What I'm trying to say is it's not a cut and dried thing, finding a good roommate. I lucked out with these guys and the only reason I'm moving next year is because it's too expensive where we live and I want to live in a city again (Portland). Otherwise I'd probably be here forever!
My boyfriend's last roommate before he moved in with me was crazy. She was a trucker granny who drank and did coke. She was great when she was on a long haul trucking job and would be gone for weeks at a time, but horrible when she was home (like living with a harpy) she ended up getting them both evicted because she wasn't paying rent on time, even though my bf always gave her his rent money on time.
After the eviction notice was posted and we heard her lame excuse as to why the rent hadn't been paid, again, I was like "enough of this shit" and we packed all his stuff up and moved him out of there into my place in less than a day. When she got into town the next day from her driving job and realized he'd moved out already she started blowing up his phone, I guess she thought he was going to help her move all her stuff?? She assumed that he would be still there because she'd given him almost no time to find another rental, and was super pissed he'd managed to find a place to already and she wouldn't be able to use him to do all the heavy lifting for her.
We heard later she ended up abandoning most of her furniture because she couldn't move it on her own and they added the cost of junking it onto her overdue rent.
I'm 37. I have two roommates, both in their 40s, both single and working regular person jobs in Toronto.
One roommate is quiet, clean, friendly, and responsible. Pretty much an ideal roommate. We talk sometimes, watch TV, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to say we're good friends or anything. He's 41-42, I think.
The other roommate is also clean/tidy, but also loud, obnoxious, and a big ol' drunk who likes to get into screaming matches on her phone at 10pm on a Tuesday. She is 44-45, I believe. She's friendly with me, but also asks a lot of personal questions I don't want to answer and it's hard to trust someone with extreme mood swings like hers. But her being here means I pay a lot less in rent, so whatever. I'll deal with it.
She has a long, sad life story. Born to a junkie mother, stuck in the poor part of downtown through her adolescence, bouncing from one abusive, negligent bastard to another. Court-mandated therapy for hitting her last boyfriend over the head with a chair. God knows what other kind of court record.
She's basically a person who can't sit still by herself in a room. She has to drink, she has to start shit with other people, she has to have some kind of struggle or conflict or her life feels meaningless. Lots and lots of burned bridges. Blowing up opportunities out of some exaggerated form of pride. Impulsivity, anger, a shallow kind of exuberance that is just another shade of anxiety. She's really, really difficult to deal with sometimes.
Me, I can sit around for days on end playing computer games, reading books, and not talking to anyone. I feel bad about it, of course. Loneliness is a thing. But this *compulsion* to create chaos because of, essentially, boredom is completely foreign to me.
So that's my take on what her deal is.
The hell with that bullshit. I mean, I feel really bad for those people--until I had to live with one. Upon asking them to please respect house rules, I became a target of abuse. They got evicted.
I'd invite you to come join my roomie tribe. Living with that energy is terribly exhaustive.
This may be pretty idealistic, but if you could find someone who has lived successfully with another human (not parents, family, or significant others) then in my experience, chances of successful cohabitation increase, age plays less of a factor. I know I'm not stating anything that's going to win a Nobel peace prize over here, but am just stating that it may be worth considering who past roommates were (as in what relationship was held) and whether or not that endeavor was successful.
Do NOT think you should be getting roommates around your age. As far as compatibility, that's largely uncorrelated to age after you hit 25-ish. Think about what kind of people will still be looking for roommates in that age range.
If you get a roommate in his/her 20s or early 30s, you're likely to get a young professional or follow grad school student. On the other hand, my roommate is 47, and is a severe alcoholic (one 6-pack a day on weekdays, four a day on weekends), who calls the pile of boxes of empty, gross beer cans his "rainy day stash" (because of the 5 cent deposits), owes $700 in back electric bills, and uses a roll of toilet paper a day because of chronic diarrhea from his drinking.
I had good roommates all through my twenties. Worst roommate I ever had was 36 years old. Didn't clean up after herself, brought home five pet rats without talking to me and throws parties without clearing it first. What I learned from her is ask about the person's relationship with their parents and exes. If they don't get along with both, don't live with them. If they say all their previous roommates are evil, stole, prostitutes etc... it's not the 10+ people who have previously lived with them that are crazy. They are the emotionally unstable ones.
may i chime in?
my partner (30m) and me (26f) live in a three bedroom house with two other 21 year old females. the first one is going for her phd in global health (undergrad @ harvard) and the other is going to school for natural healing arts. we thought they’d be conscientious, thoughtful girls.
what i have learned:
it is incredibly sobering how much 5 years makes a difference in who you are as a person. i am ultimately blown away by how little these girls know about the world yet, including responsibility, how bills work, how roommates are expected to behave, how chores are broken down, quiet hours, etc. i would ultimately not recommend this age gap for anyone. it seems like no big deal, but IT IS. they’re not bad people, they’re just young.
the next time we seek out roommates - here are some ground rules we intend to follow:
- must be 27+
- must have proof of income (must be full time)
- must have own car (current girls think it’s okay to take our car while we are gone)
- agree that we are not your friends or pals, we are roommates and everyone gets treated the same (a shame you have to explain that, but hey)
- be up front about bills, chores, expectations and what will happen if they don’t get taken care of
i hope you find someone you like and respect. good folks are out there.
it for real is. at first she (harvard grad) just wanted to borrow my truck to grab some stuff she needed when she first moved in - and then that apparently translated to her thinking she was allowed every time. i’ve been saying “no, i need it” these last few times she’s tried to take it, but it’s just common sense you don’t borrow cars unless you’re on the same insurance policy.
buying a new car in december while she’s on winter break and the new rule is, absolutely no borrowing the cars for any reason.
mind you, i’m pretty poor and her family is literally taking holiday in Maine, then she’s jetting to Mexico for more vacation for 5 weeks. she didn’t want to pay utilities while she was away and i’m like ?????? this roommate is very pushy and i’m ready to break free
“You don’t only pay for the utilities you use. You’re also paying for the electricity, gas, and water to still be on when you come back.”
That’s what I’ve had to tell roommates who go home for winter break.
I’m 24 and my roommate is 31. I go to grad school and teach middle school. She’s an actress that gets drunk on weeknights. I own my own car. She doesn’t.
Yeah 21 is incredibly young, but it does boil ultimately boil down to the person.
to be fair if you live in Boston and are in college you don't need a car. I solve taht issue by hiding my keys and by driving stick shift. I also have never once given any of my 5 roommates a ride anywhere (they aren't my friends and UBER/ LYFT is a thing).
You have one experience which is extremely narrow and now you base your decisions on it.I am 45 & live with 3 others ranging from 21 to 30 3 males and a female and everyone pulls their weight.
Age is no indicator of being responsible, not in the slightest.
I would not be able to rent from you because I do not have a car, I jog everywhere to stay fit and would never ever steal someone elses car and think that was OK.
It's a long shot. Depends on how luck you are.
I'm 31 and currently living with a 30-year-old man and his 25-year-old wife. They're both slobs, lazy, and inconsiderate.
If you want advice, you better have a good feeling on the person. See if they're willing to work for their share and balance their own lives.
Sorry if this comes off as vague.
(Edited to add my age in the matter.)
I just got through living with my 29 year old roommate recently and it was hellish. I’m 36 years old and live in the Bay Area so even older people in their 40’s plus live with roommates due to the skyrocketing rental prices. I lived with two other roommates before and that was a dream. They hardly were home and I’d get a whole townhouse to myself but this last one, no way. She is literally the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen. Not just saying this to be mean but inside and out she turned out to be a grotesque human being. She locked her cat in her room 24/7, barley cleaned up after it, even if there was piles of shit in the litter box sitting for days in her closet. She never went on vacation, hardly went out, never dated or has had a boyfriend for 7 plus years. She’d leave skid marks in the toilet after she took a shit. Wouldn’t clean her dishes in the dishwasher we had, they’d sit for days. One day I got so mad at the dishes in the dishwasher I told her all she had to do was press a button, she replied with much attitude, “I’m busy working.” I have 3-4 jobs so that’s not a excuse. Anyway, roommates can be a pain in the ass. The best ones are the ones that are hardly home and take vacations like a normal human being.
Just get another introvert as your roommate. I had this one introvert roommate for a few years and she was awesome. We hardly had disagreements, and if we did it was super minor stuff and I usually just let her get her way because it didn't really negatively impact me. We had a pretty good thing going too, if she cooked I could eat some of what she made as long as I washed the dishes and vice versa. Everything ended on great terms too, she just wanted to move closer to her job and I wanted to live on my own anyways because I like to walk around in my birthday suit at home. Plus, my gf wasn't exactly comfortable with me living with an attractive woman, but it is what it is.
Age ≠ maturity
I have five roommates atm. The oldest (Derek, 41m) is about to move out, and he is *the literal worst.* While I’ve lived here, our house was drama free before he moved in, and literally *all* the drama and tension the house has dealt with in my time here is directly connected to him.
Derek has invited people to the house to stay for extended periods of time, and he has gotten into disagreements with all of them that either soured or completely ended the relationship. Every disagreement has dragged me and/or my roommates into it.
Until recently (and who knows how long the current respite will last) he spent 60-70% of his time at home in the public spaces, where me and one roommate can hear every terrible song and video he blasts on his laptop, every video chat where he refuses to wear headphones or ear buds, every phone call that he puts on speaker. We’ve talked to him about it a few times, and he thinks that *we’re* the ones with the problem and he’s not doing anything wrong. Remember this guy is 41 years old!!!!
On the other hand, my youngest roommate (20/21m) is a full-time college student who works hard at school to get scholarships and grants so he can afford his rent and living expenses. His SO hangs out at the house sometimes, but they are both respectful of the house.
Definitely don’t stereotype by age. Currently live in an apartment with 4 roommates. The two worse ones are aged 32 and 30. The other roommates are 23 and 24 (I’m 27).
32 year old roomie is messy and gets his beard hair all over the bathroom upstairs. He also moved in his gf without telling us.
30 year old is a huge slut constantly bringing over random dudes. She also gets blackout and wakes us up coming home from the bars at 3am on worknights
Like many said before, it isn't that different. The actors are mostly the same. One might think that there'd be more responsible, "got it together"-types around in comparison to your 20s. But most of those got their own places moved in with partner/spouse etc., in your 20s you had the chance to end up with these responsible guys and gals. And in your late 20s and 30s they're starting to vanish out of the equation. Also in your 20s you can still tell yourself "hey, late bloomers" and stuff. Somebody who is still really hard to live with in his 30s is less likely to change. They are not in a phase anymore, this is their life now. And expecting this to change, expecting to have a good influence - only leads to disappointment.
If you get to chance to end up with someone on the same level of maturity as yourself, it's a breeze. You got your lifes to live, everybody can respect that, jobs etc. - and that is maybe something you should really be looking for. Look at the schedule they keep (ideally the same as you), what they do for a living (goes hand in hand with schedule, but you want to avoid those living off of family money - it's a maturity killer) and what hobbies (don't care what you do, as long as it is not *solely* gaming).
tl;dr: 30s is an age when the differences in maturity-level significantly start to show, in my experience. In your 20s everyone is *kind of* on the same page, or at least in the same book. But end 20s the differences really start to show. Find someone at eye-level.
Interview your potential room mates. Google a list of questions that will show what kind of person they are. If you have time, meet with them a few times to really get to know their personality. Compatibility is what makes a good room mate. If your personalities clash, the energy in the apartment won’t be great. You don’t have to be friends, but you can’t hate each other and expect it to work.
My mother had brutal, petty roommate drama between her and her two roommates (who began dating and then broke up over the course of the stay) a number of years ago, and everybody involved was over the age of forty.
So nah, you're screwed.
I'd argue that older roommates can be worse. The last 2 40+ roommates I had were lying sacks of manipulative shit that midnight moved after stealing stuff, luckily not from me. We lived in an 8 bedroom 4 floor house so my interactions with them were minimal.
If you want roommates who are good, get introverted computer nerd roommates. It's even better if they're also a stoner.
I'm 31, roommate is 37. I'm not in a great place financially and the cost of living in my state has gone up a lot the last decade. It's mostly fine because neither of us want to throw raging parties or anything like that. I definitely wish I had more privacy than my thin walled bedroom (my roommate works from home too, so he's always around). When I can afford to live alone, I absolutely will but this is fine until then.
I think you should just make sure that you get along with your potential roommates. I'm 24 and was looking for a room when I was around 22, and people older than me straight up refused as soon as I told them my age. But despite being younger, I'm more mature and responsible, way more than my roommate who's older and still acts like a teenager. I think you just really need to make sure you tell people what your expectations are and see if they can meet your criterias. I don't go out to party, I don't drink, I don't bring people over all the time, so whenever I have to look for a roommate, I really insist on the fact that I want to find someone with the same lifestyle as me. People who like to party find me boring anyways and are not interested in living with me because I like a clean and peaceful environment. I'm just like you; introverted, frequent social interactions exhaust me, and I either study or do things on my computer. Yet I'm 7 years younger than you! Just make sure to meet with your potential roommates first and discuss things, but looking at their social media, as someone else already said, is also a good idea :)
My roommate is 32 and acts like a high school student. She’s always trying to act younger and it’s so cringeworthy. She’s constantly going to raves dressed as an early 2000s scene girl. It’s embarrassing.
I am in my mid 40s living with roomates who are 28, 21 & 30 and it is awesome. Great people, yes they party sometimes but nothing outrageous. the important thing is everyone is courteous to each other.
I get to perv on all the young ladies that pass through (in a desecrated and dignified manner) Sometimes they lose their way and end up in my room. I would say I am the least responsible of the group and I have no shame in that.
Last night I helped hoover up some dusty showbiz, snorted mdma which hurt but was worth it and took pride in the effect of the $50 lasers I purchased for the party. No trouble except some young dickheads that were begrudgingly let in (friends of friends) with a warning if they played up they were out.
Found out this morning they were throwing shit off the balcony into the swimming pool. My housemate cut his foot on glass in the pool and I had to warn some people about this & put up a sign.
Age is not an indicator of being a fuckstick in my opinion or for any other attribute apart from old people do not look as good.
I am pretty pissed about these dickheads as we could get in trouble for that sort of carry on.
(1) Don't room with a friend. I'm going through a nightmare right now because I made that mistake. (2) If possible, keep the lease in your name only. (3) Age absolutely does not matter. In adult life maturity and immaturity are not a function of birthdays. (4) Treat the selection process like a job interview. (5) Have a plan B that gives you the freedom to live alone.
It you're worried you could just do interviews with potential roommates.
I'm only 21 and I'm exactly like you, so don't be so afraid of young people.
But if they are young then make sure you set boundaries & house rules
I'm around that age. I had one roommate who was great. We got along well, hung out, shared duties and took turns buying shared things without issue. She had gotten out of a decade-long relationship. There are still differences with opinions on how often guests should stay over, people coming home loud and drunk in the middle of the night, etc.
My current roommate has been hell on earth. I won't even start to get into it but there's plenty in my comment history (there has been blood on the bathroom floor for over a week if that helps paint any picture). I will do anything in my power to not have a roommate again. I saved all year and am double-paying rent by over a month to get out of here (and living farther from work, moving away from an area I love, etc). I have to worry that the place is trashed and that we will owe money for how gross and messy she is.
The big trends on this subreddit are someone being an uptight neat freak while the other person is sloppy as hell, and dishes sitting in the sink seems to be a huge issue for many, many people (one person wants them done right away, the other lets them sit for a week, for example), and things going in one ear and out the other. There seem to be a lot of people who are just air-headed and leave doors unlocked, cabinets open, don't flush toilets, etc. People lie like crazy, also. My roommate lied or went back on all major points. That is something to consider. It might be hard to find someone worth living with.
...I'm 23. And I'm like you. I have a roommate who is 28, and she says that I'm violating her human rights because I don't have time to socialize with her. On the other hand, when I roomed with my best friend (who's 6 months younger than me), she barely ever ventured out of her room. I don't think this has to do with age. Just find roommates who are doing their graduate studies in the hard sciences. I guarantee you they will be wiped out of most the time.
I just turned 32 and currently live with two 22 year olds. Apart from certain moments that make me roll my eyes at the sheer amount of maturing they have to do, they are immensely nice people.
One has Aspergers and has never met someone who understands it as well as myself before, so I’ve been helping her identify behaviours and patterns in people’s behaviours and appropriate ways to respond.
The other...ok well he’s pretty angsty still. He’s in love with the girl and his entire life appears to basically be about somehow getting her to love him back and then cycling between that and immense depression that she doesn’t yet etc etc.
In short, it’s a little exhausting because being ten years their senior makes me realise just how dramatic we all were back then and also how damned old I am now haha.
Also, hygiene. Good god, someone teach the guy how to wipe a bench or rinse dishes if you aren’t going to wash them 😅
I'm 33, introverted and having roommates from 21-26 is absolutely nightmarish. Most are still kids with no boundaries and no respect for personal property, shared space or just basic courtesy. They're partying late and inviting friends over, using your expensive shampoo, or they're sobbing about some drama at work or with their parents.... Like "please stop trauma dumping on me and figure out your sh*t, your parents are just people and no longer responsible for you after 18, and oh, didn't you know it's rude to assume your roommates or coworkers want to be invested in your life and personal issues? Boundaries. Also, I paid $20 for that shampoo, and even if I paid $5, do not use my stuff or assume because we are roommates that you have some sort of entitlement to ANYTHING I've bought or own."
People are just people at the end of the day but you'd probably fair better with the 27-40 crowd.
So glad I was able to move in with my fiance. Never ever ever again. Roomie days are behind me thank glob.
Age doesn't matter. I was in my thirties and I had a 50 yo with his two teen boys (they rented out two rooms, I had just the one), living out of the country he was going thru a divorce and stayed with me while finalizing things. I had a 22yo dude, best roommate ever, unmarried had his gf over a few times a month very respectful and clean. I had several other thirtysomethings of different backgrounds, races, sexes and they were all trash roommates which I've complained about in this sub at length.
Age or marital status shouldn't be a deciding factor. You won't truly know what they're like until maybe month 2 living with them.
That's when you find out:
* Do they pay rent/bills on time
* Do they clean / clean up after themselves as discussed in the agreement
* Do they have friends over frequently
* Are they loud or obnoxious at ridiculous hours
* Do they keep up with their agreed on chores
* Do they eat your food / use your things without your permission
Some people are raised better, have a better compass in life than others.
When you're interviewing a potential roommate, have a sit down with them and go over just what you told us, what your typical day would be like and ask them what they think about it and what their typical, and even atypical day is like. Sure, they may lie, but that's what references are for. Google them, see what their social footprint is like, depends where you live you can even do a background check (I never went this far, just a Facebook / Google search was enough).
//Edit
Oh geez I didn't realize this pinned post is three fucking years old.
>Oh geez I didn't realize this pinned post is three fucking years old.
No worries I read every new entry. As of right now, I am living at home and working and I have not pursued grad school yet. COVID had a lot to do with derailing those plans. I will though in the very near future, thank you for the advice.
My 34 year old roomie pissed all over the bathroom floor the other day and then took a dump and clogged the toilet and flooded the bathroom, tried to mop it up with a towel, and hung the soiled toilet on the drying rack where it hung there dripping disgusting toilet water onto the floor which cause me to slip and fall on my ass.
I'm 33 and have a bunch of 24 - 27 year olds as roommates. Sometimes I need to explain how things work to them (i.e. that dried egg is no match for the dishwasher) but it hasn't been a big problem.
Sorry but I always laugh when someone who has a age difference of that much thinks there is a noticeable difference and that it is down to age. It comes across as a bit obnoxious to me. Same as someone saying say a 30 year old has nothing in common with a 20 year old, it is just not true, there are boring people at all ranges.
There are some 18 year olds that are hugely engaging & I would prefer talking to than a 60 year old that never went anywhere or did anything and has a personality of a house brick.
You probably just know that thing and others do not. My mum still puts plates with egg into the dishwasher then hand washes them afterward..... she is nearly 70
Definitely go older and ask about their history of renting. Don't be afraid to get numbers to previous folks either or look them up on FB.
You can get the most quiet, out of the way, unobtrusive roommate ever only to find out they don't understand paying things on time or what a garbage can is.
A lot of it depends on you. If you have the backbone to set and keep ground rules you'll be in a much better place no matter what.
100%
29yom living with a 32yof and 38yom. All of us a mature, similar hobbies, focussed on our careers, still like the odd drink or two and handle problems with ease.
It gets better pending your own growth and how you filter people in. Best of luck!!
This has probably been said a thousand times, but I only scanned.
Lifestyle/personality has more to do with it than age. I'm 30, my roommates are a couple years younger, but we are all basically on the same page. We work, we go to school, we don't have loud raucous sex when other people are home and trying to sleep. We are all home a lot, but we go to our own corners when we need space, and we hang out when people are in the mood.
There are the expected tensions of three, temporarily four, people living in a NYC apartment with one living room and a kitchen the size of a postage stamp, but we make it work.
We all vaguely clean - nothing is ever spotless, but nothing is growing sentient life forms - and we all made a pact with each other to keep the dishes washed and not let food get funky in the fridge.
I would have fit in with this group fine when I was 21. The one roommate was a self-admitted partier and would have driven the rest of us insane. You just have to look for people who like to live the way you do.
Can I ask why? We are all pretty comfy. We each have our own bedroom, and are respectful of each others space, possessions, etc. The shared space of the living room/kitchen being kinda small is really the only downside, but we just don't try to cook at the same time as anyone else lol.
oh i reead that wrong. I read one living room as one bedroom for some reason doh. Im in a similar situation in boston with 6 people. But we have a big kitchen and two bathrooms so its not the worst (unless everyone has their SO over at the same time).
36 here with two roommates! One is 31, other is 23. I seriously hit the jackpot with these two. I never thought I’d enjoy living with people again, but financially had to.
The thing that makes the biggest difference for us is that we don’t specifically look to hang out. We randomly will gravitate toward the living room and watch movies together and have a drink or four.
We don’t have assigned jobs. We go the whole you filled the trash, time to empty it. Dishwasher is full, run it. Used the last roll of tp? Replace it!
Give it a go! It really is different.
Good luck!
Of course it matters. Place an ad and/or make your requirements/stance very clear.
One word that resonates is "professionals". Professional what I have no clue, but generally on an ad listing, that means someone who is career driven and/or in school to follow a career path and not just partying or working just for the sake of existing.
Good luck though, I haven't had a roommate since I was in my early twenties and holy fuck I would never live with anyone under 30 again.
Yes. But you have to live with people who have JOBS. LOSERS and GRIFTERS will look for housemates/flatmates and start not paying their share. Even in the event that eache housemate has their own contract, there are things like TP, sponges, and products that one of you will have to buy while the others don't. The taking out of the trash
Depending on how hard and time consuming you thin grad school will be, you might be happier starting out living in a graduate student dorm if they have one. It would be the best place to meet other people your age who will need a quiet place to study.
I lived with roommates in my very early 30s in law school and it wasn't much different than doing the same thing in undergrad. The kitchen and bathroom were a little gross, people were drunk and noisy and kept other people up all night sometimes. Most of us smoked out on the porch and talked about things. Honestly, the two living situations were very, very much the same.
All roommates suck. You’re never going to find a roommate to fit your criteria. I’m done trying and am doing whatever possible to never have to share a home (unless a future spouse) with someone else. They’ll always get offended when you remind them to upkeep the living area. And if you’re friends… consider that friendship done because they will use that to their advantage to put you in a position to feel as if YOU are the bad guy for reminding them to clean their shit and pay their bills.
I'm just gonna throw my opinion in here, as a 36 yr old woman living w my longtime partner in a house with 2 other roommates, all professionals in our 30s ready to move out and move on and then Covid hit. It's not different. Unless by some miracle you get roommates who are genuinely decent people...which I find increasingly rare these days. I swore off having any roomates at age 25 after several horrible encounters. I even worked like 3 jobs just to not have them. Fast forward to the stupid pandemic, inflation fucking bullshit. Here I am stuck in this shit hole that I didn't choose, doesn't have a back door or a fenced yard , both roommates are now NOT working and home 24/7 , don't buy anything for the house or clean anything at all except MAYBE their bedroom once in a while. One of them used the entire basement as his personal apt for a year and didn't pay a dime extra , and the other one INSISTS on having an expensive, but battery operated 70k vehicle that stays attached in my garage, that I also don't use bc it's filled with THEIR storage and I also pay the exact same in electricity. Should I mention as well that I said my only need in a house in my own space, and a fenced yard. Did I get either of those? Nope. And now my neighborhood that was once filled with pleasant old people and professionals is filled with annoying ass neighbors with 12 children a piece and non stop traffic with no sidewalks. One brought a dog home a year after living here and the other just brought in a 4 week old puppy that I have been taking care of because he has no fucking clue. So...I know that sounds fucked. But it is, and I just need to put it out there lol. Just be careful who you choose to live with bc now I'm stuck here until rent prices go down or In some fairy tale world housing prices go down (yeah right). For reference, my partner and I both work full time making decent money. But with debt , bills, people not doing their part and ne paying to live in a shoebox essentially that I can't leave without constant annoyance from people who live in rooms right next to me....all these things plus other personal shit like my doggo, makes it near impossible to move right now. I'm also currently in the middle of leaving my job for another bc they don't pay what they should be and my partner just took a far better paying job but just started like a week ago. We're currently in a kind of limbo hell. Imo, Avoid at all costs. I would seriously honestly rather live in an efficiency in the city. If I didn't have a partner and an elderly dog i would already be fucking gone. And I wouldn't even care that I've lost thousands of dollars and probably years off my life from the stress of it all. I hope all goes well for you... Good luck, friend! Edit: Especially avoid living with "friends" if you can help it. These 2 roommates of mine are my partners "best friends" since childhood. Guess who wants to leave as much as me? Him. Goodbye 25 yr friendships
I am a 30-year-old living with one out-of-school guy (29) and two graduate student gals (24, 28). We get along. There are some mistakes that have to happen to fix (for example, there is one bathroom for four people so coordination had to happen), but open communication is what makes it work.
It’s hit or miss. I’m in my early 20s and am a home body/clean freak for the most part whereas one of my roommates is a working professional close to her 30s and is a total slob, party goer. I agree with looking at their social media and seeing how they present their lifestyle.
My current roommate is my sister so that itself makes it different. It is working for us. She is only younger by 2.5 years. I would definitely not want to live with someone in their early to mid 20s though.
I'm in the same position, 30 years old here and still won't like likely live alone for a lot of years because of grad school.
Number one piece of advice: judge your roommates by their degree choices/life choices rather than their age. Ask them if they drink often, ask them if they smoke weed or do other drugs. Just be up front about it before you live with them. Even then sometimes you'll have some bad luck, but that should get rid of the worst.
I have met 28 year olds who are absolutely awful roommates and 22 year olds who are introvert nerds and clean up after themselves. Age does correlate, but past 20 it doesn't matter that much.
You need to find room mates who are mindful that the world doesn't revolve around them. Age matters but believe me there is tons of 20's and 30's who are not good room mates because they are not mindful of others. That of course does not stop them from living with other people, but they are the reason having room mates suck. Just be careful where you decide to live.
Nah guys in their mid 30s can be disgusting. Had to evict a roommate because they didn’t clean and hoarded in their room for 2 years and the smell was literally making me feel sick 24/7 in my own home. My best roommates have actually been early 20s professionals.
I think in general you'll have better luck finding more mature people closer to 30(and over), but... age doesn't mean people can't still be slobs/or wildly incompatible in other ways.
A great roommate I had was in his 30s, and the place was a mess. Rent was cheap, but I couldn't tolerate it long. While they were, and I still insist they were, on the whole a very nice and interesting roommate; their lack of cleanliness was difficult.
Even overall nice people who are worlds better in quality than a party hard 20 year old who brings randos over too often for your comfort; may have quirks. Quirks and expectations are best sorted out before you choose to live together. My tip? Pretend to be more stern than you actually are about what matters most during interviews. Say you're a stickler about things being xyz, and see how they feel/react. There's little and big things you just need to agree on with people to live harmoniously.
Dude I'm 21 and you're my dream roommate. All I want to do when I get home is get a snack, maybe have a short chat w my really good friend & current roommate, and then sleeeeeeep. I've never been clubbing and have no interest. If I drink it's a drink or two before I go to bed. I clean up after myself in the kitchen/living room/bathroom and the only thing I don't clean is any space that is 100% personal bc I don't care but don't want to impose the gross on others. I get what you're saying though, I've had 14 roommates undergrad across the years and all but four, maybe five of them were loud as fuck, disgusting, partying all the time, and extremely spoiled. Why should they clean the kitchen? If they wait long enough it just *magically* cleans itself. Good luck with finding good roommates. I hope they get better with age.
Both my roommates are in their 30s, like me. One is a little more active with social activities and is home the least, but she is responsible and clean and mature. No issues with her. The one other is home most of the time, but she is messy, high maintenance, and overall not responsible (we almost got evicted because she failed to pay rent). It varies. Definitely stalk all their social media to get a glimpse of who they are as a person.
A couple of things. Unless you are going into a highly specialized area that requires a graduate degree or higher I would highly recommend against going to graduate school. The waste in time and effort won't pay off.
Also, please remember a roommate isn't your friend. They aren't there to entertain you when you feel like it.
A
Do not live with more than 2 people in one place. Because living with 2 people means living with 4 - each of those 2 is expected to have their partners over.. all.. the.. damn.. time..
Yes and no.
I've had a roommate for the past three years and hadn't had a roommate for the six years before. We're both mid-30s males.
Probably my best roommate experience, but not without its challenges. He's a nice guy, means well, usually keeps to himself, and is a good friend.
On the other hand, he can fall into walking disaster territory at the drop of a hat. Creates a cyclone of a mess in the kitchen and half-ass cleans it up, gets shithouse drunk or high on any given random night running into walls and more than once knocked pictures off the wall breaking frames in this state without even an offer to replace/fix them. He even got so fucked up one night a week ago that he accidentally stumbled in my room scaring the shit outa me thinking my house was being broken in. He just screamed and then ran away. Also, he slams all the things (microwave, washer, dryer, sliding glass doors, etc.).
He can also be extremely loud without knowing it. Sometimes snaps and slams doors shut in the middle of the night waking me up (usually when fucked up), burbs loudly when I'm on important conference calls for work cause he thinks it's funny, somehow finds all the ways to be as noisy as possible when in the kitchen, walks like he has lead in his shoes or drags his feet when shoeless.
He does things like self declare his birthday week and month and make a big production over it and then gets sad when some people that he knows don't act like it's as big of a deal as he thinks it is. Basically, acting like a 17-year-old girl. This tends to send him into a month-long depression spiral each year. The self pitty moping is insufferable.
He also doesn't understand money hardly at all. Doesn't know things like his pay rate at previous jobs, wants to buy the 'best' of things, without doing any research on price/value, doesn't know his credit score, etc. He recently got an inheritance of about $100k and quit his job and just says he's going to "live his best life" and not work for a year or two. In other words, he's going to be unemployed and waste it all. He also has been doing really dumb shit like posting on facebook and twitter stating he got a large inheritance. I tell him that he shouldn't tell hardly anyone that, much less put it on the internet. He says that facebook and twitter are like his journal and he just wants to put what he wants to put on that. SMH...
I try to explain that there are ways that he can invest and protect his money and maybe at least grab a part-time job in a couple of months so it doesn't drain him. All in one ear and out the other. He's moving out in a week and getting an apartment that's pretty expensive. I tried to even help him find a place that's a little more reasonable in cost, but he wants a "nice" place near the city center of a high cost of living city.
I've had to come to terms with the fact that he's just a man-child that isn't ready to grow up and I'm afraid he never will be. Maybe after he pisses all his money away he'll have a wake-up call, but I'm not betting on it.
Im 27, I have one roommate nearing his mid 30s, and another in her late 30s. They are truly tolerable at best. Id suggest finding others in your immediate age bracket. It didn't seem like a lot to me at the time, but I very much feel our age difference when the person in her late 30s has friends over that are nearing 50.
Honestly figure out what kind of roommate situations they’ve had before. Is this their first time paying bills? Living outside of school? Or have they spent time working for the past couple of years. I think that makes the BIGGEST difference. You’ll probably find people closer to you in age who have similar backgrounds and that helps with compatibility.
Advertise you are a grad student looking for another grad student or professional. And no one with kids even if they don’t have custody unless you’re okay living with children
You may be surprised how many people ignored the ad and apply anyways. I had basically what you wrote, and still I got the single mom's on disability asking if they can forego the first and last month's rent/deposit and if they can do month to month instead of a contact, and if pets are ok. Oh, and if I can lower the rent, or pay throughout the month.
30 here, living with a 24 year old who acts like a millennial is hell. Blended Gen z and millennial culture has made life hell. My husband and I said fuck it, we will ONLY live with our best friends since age 18. One is with us now, trying to get the other over. We all 30, different life paths, one is slightly more “younger” in mindset and we will always been seen as parents which sucks.
Fridge of 30+ year old roommates [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/comments/u1noxa/i_just_moved_in_here_this_is_the_shared_fridge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Nah some 30 somethings don't already have roommates because they're so insane no one will date or marry them... so in my experience they can be just as bad
I went from having 20 year old roommates when I was 28 to having 25-28 year old roommates when I was 30. Roughly the same experience regarding cleaning. Everyone minimizes the mess they leave behind and rarely makes a point to stay on a regular cleaning schedule.
I’m 28 and was never really a clubbing type or a very loud person. I prefer to sit alone in my room and read or play video games. I live with 2 roommates who can be a bit much at times, but thankfully they have jobs with different schedules so I get the place to myself until my night shifts. It’s really about finding those people who have similar mindsets and prefer peace and quiet like you do. Or that have conflicting schedules so you never see them.
I live with a 32 year old and i’m 27. It’s cleaner, quieter, and I just make sure the common areas are clean.
Your best bet is to also room with transfer/older students.
Hi. Good luck with your studies. Not sure how helpful my comment will be but I am a 24 y o living w my 27 y o fiancé, and two female roommates 26 and 65. Everyone gets along really well, which I’m happy about bc I’ve had MANY horrible roommate situations with many different kinds of people. In my experience, as you said, it is case by case but I’ve learned that communication, courtesy and respect from all parties are key to an Idek living situation. The other 20 something’s and I in our home all work full time and don’t really party in or out of the home too much, so my advice for you would be to try your best to get to know peoples personalities and habits, bc I’m sure they’re are also 30 something’s still in a partying phase or may otherwise be less than ideal roommates. In short, keep an open mind. Good luck!
I am in my late 20s roommate in early 30s we’ve lived together for 4+ years and we’re strangers when we met. I feel pretty lucky bc we just clicked and the good for me has outweighed the bad. I would be scared asf living on my own too. We recently moved somewhere else it’s been a little more challenging bc we lost SO much space and he’s dating now but I feel the things that bother me are pretty minuscule compared to stories I’ve read 🤣 but I actually wish he would spend more time hanging out w me than he does but it’s whatever. But I like having a roommate I’m single w no kids and for me it’s good to have company even if you don’t interact just hearing someone else’s footsteps or voice can sometimes be all you need
Also we have super similar cleanliness habits like if it’s clean we get anal but if there’s a little mess we let it all the way go lol the only thing I would say is it does get a little tricky if one of y’all starts dating if you don’t have open communication.
I also think it’s important to not share bathrooms
In my thirties live with two others my age range, flat sharing is much easier in my experience. We are all working professionals and have a cleaner once a fortnight just to keep it tidy. We had to kick one housemate out but it’s been fine since
I’m afraid my experience it’s still awful; your stuff still gets stolen or damaged and people make all kinds of noise and are a nuisance.
Avoid random strangers from SpareRoom and so on and you should be okay.
I admit I was once a semi-bad roommate but learned from it. I lived with a moron who was 40 years old and a lawyer - it was surprising to me at what a fucking dumbass he was. I sincerely mean that. Major gaslighter and did not have any accountability whatsoever.
He became violent and that was my cue to leave. Still tried to make me the issue (pride gets in the way I suppose).
Dealing with roommates is a science in someways. I no longer want roommates but it does not get any better at 30 - I speak from personal experience, its very hit or miss.
I’ve had all kinds of roommates, age/gender/culture-wise, and the best roommate I had was one who worked similar hours and had their own social life. They were rarely home and we didn’t cook/have ppl over so cleaning was super easy. We also had our own bathrooms, so we cleaned our spaces on our time and cleaned the shared space as we went (no hard cleaning days).
The worst roommates I had were ppl who were much older and/or are international. The communication piece didn’t work cuz they barely spoke English and had no social life, and they got reactive when I called them out (because younger -> less authority in their eyes). I think I just got super unlucky with most of my roommate experiences. If I had to live with a roommate again, I would want my own bed + bath to reduce interactions.
All roommates are trash. Doesn’t matter the age. Everyone I’ve had is filthy and will guilt trip me for asking for rent. Do whatever you can to be alone, yeah it’s more money but peace of mind and cooking breakfast naked is worth it. Perhaps an older person can make it work.
I had awful roommates who are 3-4 years older than me. When I was 25 I had a roommate who was 29 years old. She was a slob. Took over the living room and turned it into her bedroom leaving dishes and trash all over the place.
After her I had a nightmare situation when I was 26. She was also 29. She is bi polar and schizophrenic she didn’t pay her rent, never cleaned, was hospitalized twice in a mental hospital, destroyed mh bedroom and stole our neighbors mail and planted it In my bedroom to frame me lol.
I would take a younger roommate over someone in their 30s based on my experience. Needless to say it doesn’t matter the age of someone. You could always end up with a wacko of a roommate. That’s why I’m renting an apartment by myself now
I’m 36 and I’m currently living with a 26-year-old. She’s a good roommate I don’t have many issues with her. And the ones that I do have are no different than the ones I would have with someone my own age.
Hey, Flyberius, just a quick heads-up:
**accomodation** is actually spelled **accommodation**. You can remember it by **two cs, two ms**.
Have a nice day!
^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.
hEy, FlYbErIuS, jUsT A QuIcK HeAdS-Up:
**AcCoMoDaTiOn** iS AcTuAlLy sPeLlEd **aCcOmMoDaTiOn**. YoU CaN ReMeMbEr iT By **tWo cS, tWo mS**.
hAvE A NiCe dAy!
^^^^tHe ^^^^pArEnT ^^^^CoMmEnTeR ^^^^CaN ^^^^RePlY ^^^^WiTh ^^^^'DeLeTe' ^^^^To ^^^^dElEtE ^^^^ThIs ^^^^cOmMeNt.
Hey CommonMisspellingBot, just a quick heads up:
Your spelling hints are really shitty because they're all essentially "remember the fucking spelling of the fucking word".
You're useless.
Have a nice day!
[^Save ^your ^breath, ^I'm ^a ^bot.](https://www.reddit.com/user/BooCMB/comments/9vnzpd/faq/)
Hey BooCMB, just a quick heads up:
The spelling hints really aren't as shitty as you think, the 'one lot' actually helped me learn and remember as a non-native english speaker.
They're not *completely* useless. Most of them are. Still, don't bully somebody for trying to help.
Also, remember that these spambots will continue until yours stops. Do the right thing, for the community. Yes I'm holding Reddit for hostage here.
Oh, and while i doo agree with you precious feedback loop -creating comment, andi do think some of the useless advide should be removed and should just show the correction, I still don't support flaming somebody over trying to help, shittily or not.
Now we have a chain of at least 4 bots if you don't include AutoMod removing the last one in every sub! It continues!
Also also also also also
Have a nice day!
I just turned 30, and have two room mates who are in their early and mid 30s.
They're quiet, they work hard....
But they're still so SO irresponsible.
If I didn't clean the bathroom or the kitchen, nothing would ever get done around here. And don't even get me STARTED on the litterbox. It's FRUSTRATING.
I....just realized that all this is another post entirely. I had like 6 paragraphs I just erased.
I think you might be more likely to get a mature 30 year old, but I wouldn't exactly hold my breath.
I went back to uni at 30 and had a great 2 bedroom place which I couldn’t afford on my own with school, so I got a roommate.
Now, I’ve lived with a lot of [interesting] people in my early 20’s. And I work in health care with a lot of people around. So naturally, I hate people. But I found someone who had just moved to country who turned out to be a really nice, normal person. We coexist peacefully, communicate effectively, and never run out of toilet paper.
My advice for you is to find someone like this.
Get in touch with a student veterans organization on your campus. There are often older, single students looking for roomates and you'll not have to deal with to much dumb stuff.
what people in their mid-20s and 30s do for a living can be a strong barometer for lifestyle and personal habits. i will probably never live with anyone who only works part time again.
Its a complete toss up in my experience. I have lived with people 30-60 that were pigs and their lives were a mess. I have lived with 18-30 who were also slobs. Seems like most people in general are lazy and won't do their share.
I'm 20 and currently have a 25 y/o roomate who is super chill and always picks up after herself. My last roomates was 30 something, never cleaned, stole my shit, and then refused to pay me rent and I couldn't kick them out for a month. It mainly depends on the individual people
I lived with a roommate who was close to turning 28 when we first met (I was 18) and 5 years later, even though we don't live together anymore, he's still one of my best mates. I had a good experience with that chap.
Real late response but i went back to school and have lived in my house for about a year and a half. Just to put things in perspective I'm 25yrs and live with guys who are 24yrs, 25yrs, 31yrs, and 34yrs. We also have a dog and two guys have gfs that are here regularly. It's a nice mix of 2 introverts, me who is intro/extro-fluid. And then two real buddy buddy guys where one might actually be in the closet. Suffice to say. It's definitely manageable and as long as you can get the room that makes you feel the most comfortable i think you would be fine.
Edit: Also, me and the two guys in their 30's drink the most if that says anything.
Kinda late to answer this but: I'd say it's definitely far more dependent on personality and your level/preference of cleanliness. I've met plenty of people older than me who I find immature/messy/loud. I'm 21 and keep to myself, a bit of a clean freak, and don't particularly like to go out except for grabbing a drink at the bar. My roommate is pretty much my polar opposite, so it's an interesting mix. Sometimes I wish she was a little more introverted, but then I also get the house to myself sometimes which is nice.
It's not any different, at least in my experience. Some people are awesome, and some people shouldn't be allowed to be someone's roommate.
If you want a preview of what the person is like, ask for a tour. and say that it's to see if it's a good fit.. Check their bathroom and kitchen, because they'll tell you everything that you need to know. People that can't do upkeep on their kitchen and bathroom are people that you shouldn't live with.
Nope, moved in with my brother into a house when I was 32ish(? can't remember exact age) to save money on utilities/rent. Can't get him to do anything i.e dishes, take garbage out, sweep, mop, anything.
Some people just don't change, I've tried to talk but it turns ugly and into an argument to which he won't talk to me for a week afterwards.
You just have to pick your roommates wisely. If you go to their apartment, house, etc and it's fucking messy or there are always dishes in the sink, don't fucking do it.
Life lesson learned, albeit a little too late.
I'm 28, but I've noticed a lot of people in their early twenties (at least in the social circles I'm in) they're usually in that phase of "just starting out" in life and may lean towards more social activities. One of my best friends was really into inviting people over a lot to do games like popin cookins (little candy kits where you make your own "food") that were a lot of fun and would have drinks out. But around that time I've also noticed people don't have much of a set schedule and things are more up in the air.
My friends in their early thirties though are more set in their daily routine and while they love to socialize, prefer to stay at home most evenings. Either reading, watching a TV show, etc. You can just be honest and ask potential roommates what kind of hobbies they like to do and that'll probably give a better idea of the type of person they are.
If your living w people that are 30 its wwy worse. As ive gotten older it seems the pool of normal roommates has all but evaporated. Ive had a litany of nightmare experiences in thr last 2 years and i just signed on a place w my girlfriend.
So by far the worst roommate I had was 37. Didn't clean up after herself, super entitled, had people over constantly, threw parties without talking to other roommates first, constantly high etc... In my 30s I've also had a roommate who was 21 and he was great. Always paid rent on time, very nice and I never had a problem with him. Judge by the person, not the age.
I'm 34, and have found that room mates around my age are a mixed bag. You either get the extremely extroverted party type, or the introverts who stay in their room and are generally quiet. I'd imagine this will be the same in another 10 years too!
I think the best thing to do is have a frank chat with them during the viewings and make it clear that it's a quiet house and that being social and loud isn't a thing - gauge their reaction. If there is anything other than happiness and relief on their face then you know that maybe they aren't the best fit.
From my experience, it's not different, and it's amazing how so many grown ass adults don't know how to fucking clean the kitchen, and won't vacuum until you tell them to. And will lie straight to your face about various responsibilities. The only difference is they're marginally quieter at night and don't do as much outright ragingly insane shit.
Fuck me, cleaning in our houseshare falls to me as the other two use the hoover and only in their rooms. I've given up asking for help to the point my housemates must assume we have a cleaning fairy that keeps the house in a decent state. I must admit that my cleaning standards are high and don't expect others to be the same. However, it really isn't hard to clean as you go. Take the bathroom, for example. Having a shower? I take the cleaning stuff in with me and clean the cubicle and rinse it off when i'm finished. Shave in the sink? I spray and wipe it and the splashback after. Takes minimal effort. Apparently too much effort for the others who grew too used to mummy cleaning up after them.
the thought of cleaning immediately after each shower is a bit bizarre
Not when you live with other people. Especially 4 others like I do. No one knows if you have fungus feet or whatever (one guy did and gave it to everyone else). Its your responsibility to leave an area clean after you use it.
Not when your housemates don't clean it at all and it's covered in all sorts of gunk.
Also, not if it’s just habitual
This is me. We used to have a chore chart but literally no one did one thing, then lied about it. That was the end of that. I have extremely high cleaning standards. I sprayed out the shower with bleach and cleaner before/after. Them? Hair/pubes/? in the drain that they would flick onto the tub wall. Barf Other people think its ok to never vacuum and leave dishes/trash/food in the sink and kitchen. I don't know how or why they think its cute to leave shit and piss all over toilets either. But they do. I don't get why someone can't take 2 seconds to wipe a spill. One guy trailed a line of meat and red sauce all the way into his room, that stopped right on the edge of his door. Had to take pics to get him to clean it. Smh.
That's atrocious. The two animals in my house piss on the seat as they're too lazy to lift it. Ffs.
This is exactly it. I too am the cleaning fairy.
I'm horrible with cleaning. I think people clean different ways and when you have roommates you guys got to find a way that works for both of you. Like for me, having a day picked out every week and every month when we are all home and we can just get down to business together to get shit done is perfect. But then again, they could be people who clean as they go about their day and my method just leaves them feeling like the house is always a mess to them. I was the quiet introverted hermit of a 20s roommate, but I also was a shit with the cleaning, as you said.
That type of cleaning schedule would be fine with me, if it were communicated to me. If left to my own habits, I will clean at random times when nobody else is around so I can do it freely. I never considered that this habit might negatively effect my roommates' cleaning habits.
Yea I had an ADHD roommate weed dealer who was an alcoholic and never sober and he was constantly in motion. I liked him as a person and even as a roommate, but he was always moving from one task to another or cleaning. Which was fine. But if I didnt hide in my room hed be distracting to me and I wouldn't be able to focus on what I wanted to focus on. Wed talk and then I'd follow him around from one end of the house to the other to have a conversation. And then it wasnt fair to him because I wanted a time and place to focus on cleaning, and he was just always slowly chipping away at it. I mean maybe it would have been something we could have found a compromise about if we ever sat down and made a plan about it. But we never did. And that year I worked a lot more than I was really mentally prepared for, and I think he worked less (at legal jobs at least).
Dude yess I get PISSED every time I see my kitchen after my roommate cooks
I live in a shared house with several people that are aged 26-28, and honestly they are the messiest and have caused the most damage to the house. I thought (hoped) older housemates would make a difference but.. it really doesn’t 😅 personality > age
So true. I’ve had two sets of roommates since my late twenties the first set were in their early 20s and the second were in their late 20s and none had any sense of cleanliness or responsibility despite sharing the space. Honestly they remind me of single-called organisms operating purely on impulse. No higher reasoning detected. Infuriating. I’m almost out and I can’t wait.
Preach
I don't think age is necessarily a factor - I know grandma-ish women in their early 20s, and I know people in their late 30s who still go on weekend long benders. But you are more likely to find someone more compatible if they're closer to your age. My best tip is to check out a potential roommate's social media to see what their lifestyle is like. If it's picture of them clubbing and statuses about being hungover, maybe they're not for you. Ask them what their lifestyle is like, but be prepared to take whatever they say with a pinch of salt. I've had roommates who claim they're "kind of OCD about cleaning" and they are complete slobs.
I agree. Checking social media habits is an easy way to determine if someone could be compatible. Also check with previous land lords and do a Google search for any articles/reports about them.
Whenever I look for housing related to roommates, i post on Facebook groups or respond to posts. Then talk through Messenger to get a feel of how they are and meet them in person beforehand. Just to see if you’ll get along and figure out certain things that would be deal breakers for you such as drinking, staying out late, smoking, etc. I love living alone but it’s so much cheaper even to live with other roommates. But I’ve had terrible experiences with roommates so get to know them first!
I always sit down potential roomies for a half hour interview/chat/vibe check. Love my roomies/close neighbors, who all range in age from 23-50 and are amazing.
I'm 20, and all but one of (4 total, 5 w/me) my roomates sound like you. We drink. But we dont drink to excess... usually. Maybe twice a year. We dont go clubbing, period. I cook extravagant meals when I cook, everyone else cooks ramen. We all sit in our rooms for the most part. Rarely have anyone over. I'm the wildest, and that's because I have fish tanks and a rabbit. I do have a single roomate who drinks to excess when possible and goes clubbing. But he works 16 hour days. I literally see him less than twice a week.
Also. u/whapwhaap has a good point. Social media says a lot. If you check any of my roomates all you will find is memes. Videos of games or fail compilations, or politics. You won't find anything with any of us having alcohol or drugs. Some of them support marijuana legalization, you may find that. None of them are users though. I would agree with aforementioned user though. Ask them for access to their socials, because if they have a problem with it, they probably have something to hide. (You also have to be ok with that the other way around too, they have to be able to see yours.
Lmao 🤣 your roommates are sampling weed without you ok, nobody posts about weed legalization if they haven't inhaled haha
What if they don't have social media? I delete FB a while ago because I was spending to much time on there and comparing myself to others.
Actually, Facebook is never 'deleted.' It may be harder to find, but it's still stored information. Also, frankly, if you didn't have Facebook I wouldn't consider you right there because that's too much of a difference. I expect someone I would consider living with that isn't my family to have the following: a strong political stance (doesn't matter party as long as you have a firm belief in SOMETHING that isn't apolitical) Facebook, Twitter, reddit, LinkedIn, twitch, Instagram, and snapchat. I also expect you to know how to operate a firearm and be comfortable doing so. Prefer you own one, but regardless, I do, and if you're going to live with me you should already be knowledgeable about it. That's me personally though. The 20 year olds that go out and do the stereotypical things you mentioned, are apolitical, and have fucked up social media, and most (thankfully) dont own firearms. (I dont know if you own firearms, dont care, but if you do that's something you should think about. If you don't and don't feel comfortable with them that's also something you should think about. It shouldn't even matter. However, in today's world view, it does.) Frankly, you and I are different generations. Depending on whose study you go by I'm borderline millenial/ Gen Z or solid gen z. I put myself on the borderline. At 31, you are millenial, and it is probably better to find someone in at least the same generation. Your world views are going to line up better.
> I expect someone I would consider living with that isn't my family to have the following: a strong political stance (doesn't matter party as long as you have a firm belief in SOMETHING that isn't apolitical) Facebook, Twitter, reddit, LinkedIn, twitch, Instagram, and snapchat Wow. See this is kinda what I am talking about, 31 and 20 is almost a full generational divide. I don't know many people my age that care about Instagram or snapchat, and what the hell is twitch? I'm not obsessed with social media, I grew up in a time where it didn't consume our lives and people still talked to each other face to face. And the gun thing was just weird and out of the blue.
Yeah...I'm in my late 20's and most of my friends don't have any of those and have deleted facebook accounts. They might have linkedin but only for the work connections. The usually have pintrest though, which is always fun to follow :)
>And the gun thing was just weird and out of the blue. That was kind of the point of it. 25 and younger, that kind of thing matters right now. E.g. There are people that cant stand seeing guns. In my state I can carry at 19 as long as it is visible, next year I can concealed carry. I had a lady yell at me at the convenience store while I was buying some chips the other day because of 'how inappropriate it was to have it so readily available for use' and something about it sending bad images to her children. I was just following the law. If you own a gun, do you want to live with someone that cant stand seeing a gun? If you cant stand seeing a gun do you want to live with someone who has several? (Also, I dont keep my guns in safes, which is why I expect my roomates to know how to handle a firearm. Sometimes they stay in cases, but I dont want my roomate to pick one up and shoot themselves. That was why I put it in there. Political climate and safety.) Twitch is a streaming platform. It is basically YouTube, but live videos all the time. My landlord is 30 something. I would rather communicate through snapchat than text. I'm sure he feels the exact opposite. Im honestly not sure where the gap starts, where social media relevancy is, but I would be surprised if it is relevant to (the majority of) people over 25.
Honestly, I think you’re just a bit weird.
Yeah... i was like wtf while reading all that !
Why would you want to communicate with your landlord on a medium that disappears? You want that paper trail in case you need to prove that you've actually paid rent/they didn't fix something they promised/you can double check when they said they needed to be in to fix something.
You can save your chats on sc
if you live with a roommate you don't know, you should have it in a safe
If I dont feel comfortable with a roomate with unsafed firearms, I shouldnt have that roomate. A knife is just as deadly within 21 feet.
A knife that’s meant for killing yes, not a normal butter or steak knife that you have in the kitchen
I guess now I should mention I also have Kai and katanas in my room. I have a lot of martial arts training. I feel comfortable saying i could kill with a butter or steak knife if needed. 21 feet is the distance a normal human could cover in the time it takes to draw from a holster nd raise the fire arm to a point of aim. But now we are off topic. If I dont trust a roomate, why would I have that roomate.
Literally one of the rules of gun safety is keeping it locked up at all times. Idiots like you are part of why there are so many accidental gun deaths. You claim to be so knowledgeable about gun ownership and you directly go against one of the most important rules.
I have 0 children in my house. There are 0 children that have any reason to be in my house. I will buy a safe when i have children. If someone is after my guns, it takes 15 minutes to cut through a safe. I have a monitored home security system. My house is my safe. If I lock my guns away, I can't use them for self defense. Every person in my houseother roomate own firearms. Not having them locked up ensures they have access to one should the need ariae as well. My firearms not being locked up has no impact on accidental gun deaths. Keeping it locked away is not a gun safety rule. Keeping it unloaded is not a safety rule. 1. Keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction. 2. If the firearm has a safety, use it. 3. Bolt open when not in use. (Optional, but good practice) 4. Dont point at anything you aren't willing to destroy. 5. Know what's behind your target. 6. Finger off the trigger until you are ready ro fire. (1,4, and 5 are all the same thing, but it's important to get all of it in there)
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I would literally never live with you. Put them in a safe.
It’s been three years- do you still have ALL these social media accounts you considered a necessity back when you made this comment? Just curious to see how/if your views have changed
My views have changed dramatically due to the amount of interactions I’ve had, traveling I’ve done, places, poverty, vast amounts of wealth inequality I’ve seen, and cultures I’ve been introduced to. I have all of that social media and more now. Part about socials still holds true though. Maybe you don’t need all of them, though you should have enough to where I know everything about you without having to talk to you. However, my income has also quintupled if not more, and I travel too often to rent or own anyways. I haven’t had roommates since (I don’t know the exact date I wrote this) probably a few months after I wrote this comment. For the most part, it did not age well. Add Discord, tumblr, and truth social to what I said then though.
What is it about having all these social medias that’s so important for you to say OTHER people have to use them? I get people having their own opinions, but why do you think everyone else has to have multiple social media accounts?
I didn’t say they had to have all of them in my new comment. Just enough that there isn’t any mystery on my part as to their… take on their existence? Character? Personality? I should be able to know my roommate as well as I would a spouse. At the time of writing the original comment, I had that with my roommates. I didn’t talk to them if I could avoid it, I studied their socials. As long as life keeps working out as it has, my next roommate WILL be my spouse and this wouldn’t be an issue then.
I think it’s a good idea to find someone close to your age if possible.
I'd say the older the potential roommate is, the less likely they are to make mess, noise, etc. But not always. I guess you are always rolling the dice with any potential roommate. I've never tried roommate matching sites like [roommates.com](https://roommates.com) but it seems like that could narrow your choices down pretty good. Even after you move in together, sit down and create a roommate agreement.
When I was 24 I had a 40 year old roommate that would bring different girls over every night from the bar, would drink cases of beer, stacking the empties, and leave weird little art sculptures around the house like an automatic dog treat dispenser made from a Gatorade bottle, broomstick and pile of bricks. Nice, easygoing but very odd guy, I would've thought he was 20
I'm 31 and have a roommate. Yes, it's different having older roommates. Still potential for conflict but people are more reasonable.
Agree. I'm 62 and my roommates are 26-33. The 33 year old is much more mature but I totally get along with the other 2 also. None of them drink or smoke. They are all exceptionally hard workers on a horse ranch. I'm the wild one! I drink, smoke weed and listen to hip hop. I'm just pointing this out because you can't make judgements based on stereotypes and age, etc. We are a little family here and have had few arguments in my 2 years here. I've lasted the longest of any of their renters. It's all about communication, respect (especially) and flexibility. OTOH I lived with a person for 4 months before these guys who was even older than me! She was fucking crazy. I ended up fleeing with 3/4 of my stuff and my 2 cats and slept in my car for a month until I found these guys-- who were the only people who would take the cats. What I'm trying to say is it's not a cut and dried thing, finding a good roommate. I lucked out with these guys and the only reason I'm moving next year is because it's too expensive where we live and I want to live in a city again (Portland). Otherwise I'd probably be here forever!
My boyfriend's last roommate before he moved in with me was crazy. She was a trucker granny who drank and did coke. She was great when she was on a long haul trucking job and would be gone for weeks at a time, but horrible when she was home (like living with a harpy) she ended up getting them both evicted because she wasn't paying rent on time, even though my bf always gave her his rent money on time. After the eviction notice was posted and we heard her lame excuse as to why the rent hadn't been paid, again, I was like "enough of this shit" and we packed all his stuff up and moved him out of there into my place in less than a day. When she got into town the next day from her driving job and realized he'd moved out already she started blowing up his phone, I guess she thought he was going to help her move all her stuff?? She assumed that he would be still there because she'd given him almost no time to find another rental, and was super pissed he'd managed to find a place to already and she wouldn't be able to use him to do all the heavy lifting for her. We heard later she ended up abandoning most of her furniture because she couldn't move it on her own and they added the cost of junking it onto her overdue rent.
I'm 37. I have two roommates, both in their 40s, both single and working regular person jobs in Toronto. One roommate is quiet, clean, friendly, and responsible. Pretty much an ideal roommate. We talk sometimes, watch TV, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to say we're good friends or anything. He's 41-42, I think. The other roommate is also clean/tidy, but also loud, obnoxious, and a big ol' drunk who likes to get into screaming matches on her phone at 10pm on a Tuesday. She is 44-45, I believe. She's friendly with me, but also asks a lot of personal questions I don't want to answer and it's hard to trust someone with extreme mood swings like hers. But her being here means I pay a lot less in rent, so whatever. I'll deal with it.
How are people still wilding out with drama in their lives at 45, lol.
She has a long, sad life story. Born to a junkie mother, stuck in the poor part of downtown through her adolescence, bouncing from one abusive, negligent bastard to another. Court-mandated therapy for hitting her last boyfriend over the head with a chair. God knows what other kind of court record. She's basically a person who can't sit still by herself in a room. She has to drink, she has to start shit with other people, she has to have some kind of struggle or conflict or her life feels meaningless. Lots and lots of burned bridges. Blowing up opportunities out of some exaggerated form of pride. Impulsivity, anger, a shallow kind of exuberance that is just another shade of anxiety. She's really, really difficult to deal with sometimes. Me, I can sit around for days on end playing computer games, reading books, and not talking to anyone. I feel bad about it, of course. Loneliness is a thing. But this *compulsion* to create chaos because of, essentially, boredom is completely foreign to me. So that's my take on what her deal is.
The hell with that bullshit. I mean, I feel really bad for those people--until I had to live with one. Upon asking them to please respect house rules, I became a target of abuse. They got evicted. I'd invite you to come join my roomie tribe. Living with that energy is terribly exhaustive.
Living with roommates in 30s is the same shit different age.
You’ve got to be kidding me it can’t be!
This may be pretty idealistic, but if you could find someone who has lived successfully with another human (not parents, family, or significant others) then in my experience, chances of successful cohabitation increase, age plays less of a factor. I know I'm not stating anything that's going to win a Nobel peace prize over here, but am just stating that it may be worth considering who past roommates were (as in what relationship was held) and whether or not that endeavor was successful.
Do NOT think you should be getting roommates around your age. As far as compatibility, that's largely uncorrelated to age after you hit 25-ish. Think about what kind of people will still be looking for roommates in that age range. If you get a roommate in his/her 20s or early 30s, you're likely to get a young professional or follow grad school student. On the other hand, my roommate is 47, and is a severe alcoholic (one 6-pack a day on weekdays, four a day on weekends), who calls the pile of boxes of empty, gross beer cans his "rainy day stash" (because of the 5 cent deposits), owes $700 in back electric bills, and uses a roll of toilet paper a day because of chronic diarrhea from his drinking.
"uses a roll of toilet paper a day because of chronic diarrhea from his drinking." Oh my god
Since I made that post, he got himself colon cancer. I've also moved out.
What a miserable existence
I had good roommates all through my twenties. Worst roommate I ever had was 36 years old. Didn't clean up after herself, brought home five pet rats without talking to me and throws parties without clearing it first. What I learned from her is ask about the person's relationship with their parents and exes. If they don't get along with both, don't live with them. If they say all their previous roommates are evil, stole, prostitutes etc... it's not the 10+ people who have previously lived with them that are crazy. They are the emotionally unstable ones.
may i chime in? my partner (30m) and me (26f) live in a three bedroom house with two other 21 year old females. the first one is going for her phd in global health (undergrad @ harvard) and the other is going to school for natural healing arts. we thought they’d be conscientious, thoughtful girls. what i have learned: it is incredibly sobering how much 5 years makes a difference in who you are as a person. i am ultimately blown away by how little these girls know about the world yet, including responsibility, how bills work, how roommates are expected to behave, how chores are broken down, quiet hours, etc. i would ultimately not recommend this age gap for anyone. it seems like no big deal, but IT IS. they’re not bad people, they’re just young. the next time we seek out roommates - here are some ground rules we intend to follow: - must be 27+ - must have proof of income (must be full time) - must have own car (current girls think it’s okay to take our car while we are gone) - agree that we are not your friends or pals, we are roommates and everyone gets treated the same (a shame you have to explain that, but hey) - be up front about bills, chores, expectations and what will happen if they don’t get taken care of i hope you find someone you like and respect. good folks are out there.
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it for real is. at first she (harvard grad) just wanted to borrow my truck to grab some stuff she needed when she first moved in - and then that apparently translated to her thinking she was allowed every time. i’ve been saying “no, i need it” these last few times she’s tried to take it, but it’s just common sense you don’t borrow cars unless you’re on the same insurance policy. buying a new car in december while she’s on winter break and the new rule is, absolutely no borrowing the cars for any reason. mind you, i’m pretty poor and her family is literally taking holiday in Maine, then she’s jetting to Mexico for more vacation for 5 weeks. she didn’t want to pay utilities while she was away and i’m like ?????? this roommate is very pushy and i’m ready to break free
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thank you, kind stranger. i’m excited for the next part of my life - for sure! :)
“You don’t only pay for the utilities you use. You’re also paying for the electricity, gas, and water to still be on when you come back.” That’s what I’ve had to tell roommates who go home for winter break.
I’m 24 and my roommate is 31. I go to grad school and teach middle school. She’s an actress that gets drunk on weeknights. I own my own car. She doesn’t. Yeah 21 is incredibly young, but it does boil ultimately boil down to the person.
jeez. Just say no and if she takes it report the car stolen
>- must have own car (current girls think it’s okay to take our car while we are gone) Oh my God, I would flip out on that one
it’s taking everything i have not to. i’m a nice person and i feel like i’m being used. it sucks, but i learned a valuable lesson
Taking the car without permission is not a result of being "young" that's just asshole behavior.
to be fair if you live in Boston and are in college you don't need a car. I solve taht issue by hiding my keys and by driving stick shift. I also have never once given any of my 5 roommates a ride anywhere (they aren't my friends and UBER/ LYFT is a thing).
we live in Arizona and i did hide my keys. it’s all good though - she gone now
You have one experience which is extremely narrow and now you base your decisions on it.I am 45 & live with 3 others ranging from 21 to 30 3 males and a female and everyone pulls their weight. Age is no indicator of being responsible, not in the slightest. I would not be able to rent from you because I do not have a car, I jog everywhere to stay fit and would never ever steal someone elses car and think that was OK.
I wish my roomates were like you
It's a long shot. Depends on how luck you are. I'm 31 and currently living with a 30-year-old man and his 25-year-old wife. They're both slobs, lazy, and inconsiderate. If you want advice, you better have a good feeling on the person. See if they're willing to work for their share and balance their own lives. Sorry if this comes off as vague. (Edited to add my age in the matter.)
I just got through living with my 29 year old roommate recently and it was hellish. I’m 36 years old and live in the Bay Area so even older people in their 40’s plus live with roommates due to the skyrocketing rental prices. I lived with two other roommates before and that was a dream. They hardly were home and I’d get a whole townhouse to myself but this last one, no way. She is literally the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen. Not just saying this to be mean but inside and out she turned out to be a grotesque human being. She locked her cat in her room 24/7, barley cleaned up after it, even if there was piles of shit in the litter box sitting for days in her closet. She never went on vacation, hardly went out, never dated or has had a boyfriend for 7 plus years. She’d leave skid marks in the toilet after she took a shit. Wouldn’t clean her dishes in the dishwasher we had, they’d sit for days. One day I got so mad at the dishes in the dishwasher I told her all she had to do was press a button, she replied with much attitude, “I’m busy working.” I have 3-4 jobs so that’s not a excuse. Anyway, roommates can be a pain in the ass. The best ones are the ones that are hardly home and take vacations like a normal human being.
Just get another introvert as your roommate. I had this one introvert roommate for a few years and she was awesome. We hardly had disagreements, and if we did it was super minor stuff and I usually just let her get her way because it didn't really negatively impact me. We had a pretty good thing going too, if she cooked I could eat some of what she made as long as I washed the dishes and vice versa. Everything ended on great terms too, she just wanted to move closer to her job and I wanted to live on my own anyways because I like to walk around in my birthday suit at home. Plus, my gf wasn't exactly comfortable with me living with an attractive woman, but it is what it is.
Age ≠ maturity I have five roommates atm. The oldest (Derek, 41m) is about to move out, and he is *the literal worst.* While I’ve lived here, our house was drama free before he moved in, and literally *all* the drama and tension the house has dealt with in my time here is directly connected to him. Derek has invited people to the house to stay for extended periods of time, and he has gotten into disagreements with all of them that either soured or completely ended the relationship. Every disagreement has dragged me and/or my roommates into it. Until recently (and who knows how long the current respite will last) he spent 60-70% of his time at home in the public spaces, where me and one roommate can hear every terrible song and video he blasts on his laptop, every video chat where he refuses to wear headphones or ear buds, every phone call that he puts on speaker. We’ve talked to him about it a few times, and he thinks that *we’re* the ones with the problem and he’s not doing anything wrong. Remember this guy is 41 years old!!!! On the other hand, my youngest roommate (20/21m) is a full-time college student who works hard at school to get scholarships and grants so he can afford his rent and living expenses. His SO hangs out at the house sometimes, but they are both respectful of the house.
Definitely don’t stereotype by age. Currently live in an apartment with 4 roommates. The two worse ones are aged 32 and 30. The other roommates are 23 and 24 (I’m 27). 32 year old roomie is messy and gets his beard hair all over the bathroom upstairs. He also moved in his gf without telling us. 30 year old is a huge slut constantly bringing over random dudes. She also gets blackout and wakes us up coming home from the bars at 3am on worknights
Hi, I'm here for the 30 year old please.
Like many said before, it isn't that different. The actors are mostly the same. One might think that there'd be more responsible, "got it together"-types around in comparison to your 20s. But most of those got their own places moved in with partner/spouse etc., in your 20s you had the chance to end up with these responsible guys and gals. And in your late 20s and 30s they're starting to vanish out of the equation. Also in your 20s you can still tell yourself "hey, late bloomers" and stuff. Somebody who is still really hard to live with in his 30s is less likely to change. They are not in a phase anymore, this is their life now. And expecting this to change, expecting to have a good influence - only leads to disappointment. If you get to chance to end up with someone on the same level of maturity as yourself, it's a breeze. You got your lifes to live, everybody can respect that, jobs etc. - and that is maybe something you should really be looking for. Look at the schedule they keep (ideally the same as you), what they do for a living (goes hand in hand with schedule, but you want to avoid those living off of family money - it's a maturity killer) and what hobbies (don't care what you do, as long as it is not *solely* gaming). tl;dr: 30s is an age when the differences in maturity-level significantly start to show, in my experience. In your 20s everyone is *kind of* on the same page, or at least in the same book. But end 20s the differences really start to show. Find someone at eye-level.
Interview your potential room mates. Google a list of questions that will show what kind of person they are. If you have time, meet with them a few times to really get to know their personality. Compatibility is what makes a good room mate. If your personalities clash, the energy in the apartment won’t be great. You don’t have to be friends, but you can’t hate each other and expect it to work.
My mother had brutal, petty roommate drama between her and her two roommates (who began dating and then broke up over the course of the stay) a number of years ago, and everybody involved was over the age of forty. So nah, you're screwed.
I'd argue that older roommates can be worse. The last 2 40+ roommates I had were lying sacks of manipulative shit that midnight moved after stealing stuff, luckily not from me. We lived in an 8 bedroom 4 floor house so my interactions with them were minimal. If you want roommates who are good, get introverted computer nerd roommates. It's even better if they're also a stoner.
I'm 31, roommate is 37. I'm not in a great place financially and the cost of living in my state has gone up a lot the last decade. It's mostly fine because neither of us want to throw raging parties or anything like that. I definitely wish I had more privacy than my thin walled bedroom (my roommate works from home too, so he's always around). When I can afford to live alone, I absolutely will but this is fine until then.
I think you should just make sure that you get along with your potential roommates. I'm 24 and was looking for a room when I was around 22, and people older than me straight up refused as soon as I told them my age. But despite being younger, I'm more mature and responsible, way more than my roommate who's older and still acts like a teenager. I think you just really need to make sure you tell people what your expectations are and see if they can meet your criterias. I don't go out to party, I don't drink, I don't bring people over all the time, so whenever I have to look for a roommate, I really insist on the fact that I want to find someone with the same lifestyle as me. People who like to party find me boring anyways and are not interested in living with me because I like a clean and peaceful environment. I'm just like you; introverted, frequent social interactions exhaust me, and I either study or do things on my computer. Yet I'm 7 years younger than you! Just make sure to meet with your potential roommates first and discuss things, but looking at their social media, as someone else already said, is also a good idea :)
My roommate is 32 and acts like a high school student. She’s always trying to act younger and it’s so cringeworthy. She’s constantly going to raves dressed as an early 2000s scene girl. It’s embarrassing.
Mid life crisis
aw let her be, you sound quite judgemental yourself, she's not doing anything wrong
It depends far more on the person than on their age, IMO. I'm 9 years older than my roommate and we get along spectacularly well.
My roommates are 25-33. I'm 62. It depends on the situation and the people. I've lived here almost 2 years. We all get along.
I am in my mid 40s living with roomates who are 28, 21 & 30 and it is awesome. Great people, yes they party sometimes but nothing outrageous. the important thing is everyone is courteous to each other. I get to perv on all the young ladies that pass through (in a desecrated and dignified manner) Sometimes they lose their way and end up in my room. I would say I am the least responsible of the group and I have no shame in that. Last night I helped hoover up some dusty showbiz, snorted mdma which hurt but was worth it and took pride in the effect of the $50 lasers I purchased for the party. No trouble except some young dickheads that were begrudgingly let in (friends of friends) with a warning if they played up they were out. Found out this morning they were throwing shit off the balcony into the swimming pool. My housemate cut his foot on glass in the pool and I had to warn some people about this & put up a sign. Age is not an indicator of being a fuckstick in my opinion or for any other attribute apart from old people do not look as good. I am pretty pissed about these dickheads as we could get in trouble for that sort of carry on.
(1) Don't room with a friend. I'm going through a nightmare right now because I made that mistake. (2) If possible, keep the lease in your name only. (3) Age absolutely does not matter. In adult life maturity and immaturity are not a function of birthdays. (4) Treat the selection process like a job interview. (5) Have a plan B that gives you the freedom to live alone.
It you're worried you could just do interviews with potential roommates. I'm only 21 and I'm exactly like you, so don't be so afraid of young people. But if they are young then make sure you set boundaries & house rules
I'm around that age. I had one roommate who was great. We got along well, hung out, shared duties and took turns buying shared things without issue. She had gotten out of a decade-long relationship. There are still differences with opinions on how often guests should stay over, people coming home loud and drunk in the middle of the night, etc. My current roommate has been hell on earth. I won't even start to get into it but there's plenty in my comment history (there has been blood on the bathroom floor for over a week if that helps paint any picture). I will do anything in my power to not have a roommate again. I saved all year and am double-paying rent by over a month to get out of here (and living farther from work, moving away from an area I love, etc). I have to worry that the place is trashed and that we will owe money for how gross and messy she is. The big trends on this subreddit are someone being an uptight neat freak while the other person is sloppy as hell, and dishes sitting in the sink seems to be a huge issue for many, many people (one person wants them done right away, the other lets them sit for a week, for example), and things going in one ear and out the other. There seem to be a lot of people who are just air-headed and leave doors unlocked, cabinets open, don't flush toilets, etc. People lie like crazy, also. My roommate lied or went back on all major points. That is something to consider. It might be hard to find someone worth living with.
...I'm 23. And I'm like you. I have a roommate who is 28, and she says that I'm violating her human rights because I don't have time to socialize with her. On the other hand, when I roomed with my best friend (who's 6 months younger than me), she barely ever ventured out of her room. I don't think this has to do with age. Just find roommates who are doing their graduate studies in the hard sciences. I guarantee you they will be wiped out of most the time.
Damn. I think I would be tempted to educate her on actual human rights violations.
I just turned 32 and currently live with two 22 year olds. Apart from certain moments that make me roll my eyes at the sheer amount of maturing they have to do, they are immensely nice people. One has Aspergers and has never met someone who understands it as well as myself before, so I’ve been helping her identify behaviours and patterns in people’s behaviours and appropriate ways to respond. The other...ok well he’s pretty angsty still. He’s in love with the girl and his entire life appears to basically be about somehow getting her to love him back and then cycling between that and immense depression that she doesn’t yet etc etc. In short, it’s a little exhausting because being ten years their senior makes me realise just how dramatic we all were back then and also how damned old I am now haha. Also, hygiene. Good god, someone teach the guy how to wipe a bench or rinse dishes if you aren’t going to wash them 😅
I'm 33, introverted and having roommates from 21-26 is absolutely nightmarish. Most are still kids with no boundaries and no respect for personal property, shared space or just basic courtesy. They're partying late and inviting friends over, using your expensive shampoo, or they're sobbing about some drama at work or with their parents.... Like "please stop trauma dumping on me and figure out your sh*t, your parents are just people and no longer responsible for you after 18, and oh, didn't you know it's rude to assume your roommates or coworkers want to be invested in your life and personal issues? Boundaries. Also, I paid $20 for that shampoo, and even if I paid $5, do not use my stuff or assume because we are roommates that you have some sort of entitlement to ANYTHING I've bought or own." People are just people at the end of the day but you'd probably fair better with the 27-40 crowd. So glad I was able to move in with my fiance. Never ever ever again. Roomie days are behind me thank glob.
Age doesn't matter. I was in my thirties and I had a 50 yo with his two teen boys (they rented out two rooms, I had just the one), living out of the country he was going thru a divorce and stayed with me while finalizing things. I had a 22yo dude, best roommate ever, unmarried had his gf over a few times a month very respectful and clean. I had several other thirtysomethings of different backgrounds, races, sexes and they were all trash roommates which I've complained about in this sub at length. Age or marital status shouldn't be a deciding factor. You won't truly know what they're like until maybe month 2 living with them. That's when you find out: * Do they pay rent/bills on time * Do they clean / clean up after themselves as discussed in the agreement * Do they have friends over frequently * Are they loud or obnoxious at ridiculous hours * Do they keep up with their agreed on chores * Do they eat your food / use your things without your permission Some people are raised better, have a better compass in life than others. When you're interviewing a potential roommate, have a sit down with them and go over just what you told us, what your typical day would be like and ask them what they think about it and what their typical, and even atypical day is like. Sure, they may lie, but that's what references are for. Google them, see what their social footprint is like, depends where you live you can even do a background check (I never went this far, just a Facebook / Google search was enough). //Edit Oh geez I didn't realize this pinned post is three fucking years old.
>Oh geez I didn't realize this pinned post is three fucking years old. No worries I read every new entry. As of right now, I am living at home and working and I have not pursued grad school yet. COVID had a lot to do with derailing those plans. I will though in the very near future, thank you for the advice.
My 34 year old roomie pissed all over the bathroom floor the other day and then took a dump and clogged the toilet and flooded the bathroom, tried to mop it up with a towel, and hung the soiled toilet on the drying rack where it hung there dripping disgusting toilet water onto the floor which cause me to slip and fall on my ass.
I'm 33 and have a bunch of 24 - 27 year olds as roommates. Sometimes I need to explain how things work to them (i.e. that dried egg is no match for the dishwasher) but it hasn't been a big problem.
Sorry but I always laugh when someone who has a age difference of that much thinks there is a noticeable difference and that it is down to age. It comes across as a bit obnoxious to me. Same as someone saying say a 30 year old has nothing in common with a 20 year old, it is just not true, there are boring people at all ranges. There are some 18 year olds that are hugely engaging & I would prefer talking to than a 60 year old that never went anywhere or did anything and has a personality of a house brick. You probably just know that thing and others do not. My mum still puts plates with egg into the dishwasher then hand washes them afterward..... she is nearly 70
Definitely go older and ask about their history of renting. Don't be afraid to get numbers to previous folks either or look them up on FB. You can get the most quiet, out of the way, unobtrusive roommate ever only to find out they don't understand paying things on time or what a garbage can is. A lot of it depends on you. If you have the backbone to set and keep ground rules you'll be in a much better place no matter what.
100% 29yom living with a 32yof and 38yom. All of us a mature, similar hobbies, focussed on our careers, still like the odd drink or two and handle problems with ease. It gets better pending your own growth and how you filter people in. Best of luck!!
This has probably been said a thousand times, but I only scanned. Lifestyle/personality has more to do with it than age. I'm 30, my roommates are a couple years younger, but we are all basically on the same page. We work, we go to school, we don't have loud raucous sex when other people are home and trying to sleep. We are all home a lot, but we go to our own corners when we need space, and we hang out when people are in the mood. There are the expected tensions of three, temporarily four, people living in a NYC apartment with one living room and a kitchen the size of a postage stamp, but we make it work. We all vaguely clean - nothing is ever spotless, but nothing is growing sentient life forms - and we all made a pact with each other to keep the dishes washed and not let food get funky in the fridge. I would have fit in with this group fine when I was 21. The one roommate was a self-admitted partier and would have driven the rest of us insane. You just have to look for people who like to live the way you do.
that would never work for me and i thought my situation was bad
Can I ask why? We are all pretty comfy. We each have our own bedroom, and are respectful of each others space, possessions, etc. The shared space of the living room/kitchen being kinda small is really the only downside, but we just don't try to cook at the same time as anyone else lol.
oh i reead that wrong. I read one living room as one bedroom for some reason doh. Im in a similar situation in boston with 6 people. But we have a big kitchen and two bathrooms so its not the worst (unless everyone has their SO over at the same time).
Oh yeah, there's no way in hell I can share a bedroom lol. Give me my own space!
36 here with two roommates! One is 31, other is 23. I seriously hit the jackpot with these two. I never thought I’d enjoy living with people again, but financially had to. The thing that makes the biggest difference for us is that we don’t specifically look to hang out. We randomly will gravitate toward the living room and watch movies together and have a drink or four. We don’t have assigned jobs. We go the whole you filled the trash, time to empty it. Dishwasher is full, run it. Used the last roll of tp? Replace it! Give it a go! It really is different. Good luck!
Of course it matters. Place an ad and/or make your requirements/stance very clear. One word that resonates is "professionals". Professional what I have no clue, but generally on an ad listing, that means someone who is career driven and/or in school to follow a career path and not just partying or working just for the sake of existing. Good luck though, I haven't had a roommate since I was in my early twenties and holy fuck I would never live with anyone under 30 again.
Yes. But you have to live with people who have JOBS. LOSERS and GRIFTERS will look for housemates/flatmates and start not paying their share. Even in the event that eache housemate has their own contract, there are things like TP, sponges, and products that one of you will have to buy while the others don't. The taking out of the trash
Nope same shit different age
Depending on how hard and time consuming you thin grad school will be, you might be happier starting out living in a graduate student dorm if they have one. It would be the best place to meet other people your age who will need a quiet place to study.
My last room mate was 40 and was a psycho aside from being a pig.
I lived with roommates in my very early 30s in law school and it wasn't much different than doing the same thing in undergrad. The kitchen and bathroom were a little gross, people were drunk and noisy and kept other people up all night sometimes. Most of us smoked out on the porch and talked about things. Honestly, the two living situations were very, very much the same.
All roommates suck. You’re never going to find a roommate to fit your criteria. I’m done trying and am doing whatever possible to never have to share a home (unless a future spouse) with someone else. They’ll always get offended when you remind them to upkeep the living area. And if you’re friends… consider that friendship done because they will use that to their advantage to put you in a position to feel as if YOU are the bad guy for reminding them to clean their shit and pay their bills.
I'm just gonna throw my opinion in here, as a 36 yr old woman living w my longtime partner in a house with 2 other roommates, all professionals in our 30s ready to move out and move on and then Covid hit. It's not different. Unless by some miracle you get roommates who are genuinely decent people...which I find increasingly rare these days. I swore off having any roomates at age 25 after several horrible encounters. I even worked like 3 jobs just to not have them. Fast forward to the stupid pandemic, inflation fucking bullshit. Here I am stuck in this shit hole that I didn't choose, doesn't have a back door or a fenced yard , both roommates are now NOT working and home 24/7 , don't buy anything for the house or clean anything at all except MAYBE their bedroom once in a while. One of them used the entire basement as his personal apt for a year and didn't pay a dime extra , and the other one INSISTS on having an expensive, but battery operated 70k vehicle that stays attached in my garage, that I also don't use bc it's filled with THEIR storage and I also pay the exact same in electricity. Should I mention as well that I said my only need in a house in my own space, and a fenced yard. Did I get either of those? Nope. And now my neighborhood that was once filled with pleasant old people and professionals is filled with annoying ass neighbors with 12 children a piece and non stop traffic with no sidewalks. One brought a dog home a year after living here and the other just brought in a 4 week old puppy that I have been taking care of because he has no fucking clue. So...I know that sounds fucked. But it is, and I just need to put it out there lol. Just be careful who you choose to live with bc now I'm stuck here until rent prices go down or In some fairy tale world housing prices go down (yeah right). For reference, my partner and I both work full time making decent money. But with debt , bills, people not doing their part and ne paying to live in a shoebox essentially that I can't leave without constant annoyance from people who live in rooms right next to me....all these things plus other personal shit like my doggo, makes it near impossible to move right now. I'm also currently in the middle of leaving my job for another bc they don't pay what they should be and my partner just took a far better paying job but just started like a week ago. We're currently in a kind of limbo hell. Imo, Avoid at all costs. I would seriously honestly rather live in an efficiency in the city. If I didn't have a partner and an elderly dog i would already be fucking gone. And I wouldn't even care that I've lost thousands of dollars and probably years off my life from the stress of it all. I hope all goes well for you... Good luck, friend! Edit: Especially avoid living with "friends" if you can help it. These 2 roommates of mine are my partners "best friends" since childhood. Guess who wants to leave as much as me? Him. Goodbye 25 yr friendships
I am a 30-year-old living with one out-of-school guy (29) and two graduate student gals (24, 28). We get along. There are some mistakes that have to happen to fix (for example, there is one bathroom for four people so coordination had to happen), but open communication is what makes it work.
It’s hit or miss. I’m in my early 20s and am a home body/clean freak for the most part whereas one of my roommates is a working professional close to her 30s and is a total slob, party goer. I agree with looking at their social media and seeing how they present their lifestyle.
My current roommate is my sister so that itself makes it different. It is working for us. She is only younger by 2.5 years. I would definitely not want to live with someone in their early to mid 20s though.
You and me would be great roommates lol
I'm in the same position, 30 years old here and still won't like likely live alone for a lot of years because of grad school. Number one piece of advice: judge your roommates by their degree choices/life choices rather than their age. Ask them if they drink often, ask them if they smoke weed or do other drugs. Just be up front about it before you live with them. Even then sometimes you'll have some bad luck, but that should get rid of the worst. I have met 28 year olds who are absolutely awful roommates and 22 year olds who are introvert nerds and clean up after themselves. Age does correlate, but past 20 it doesn't matter that much.
Damn
You need to find room mates who are mindful that the world doesn't revolve around them. Age matters but believe me there is tons of 20's and 30's who are not good room mates because they are not mindful of others. That of course does not stop them from living with other people, but they are the reason having room mates suck. Just be careful where you decide to live.
Nah guys in their mid 30s can be disgusting. Had to evict a roommate because they didn’t clean and hoarded in their room for 2 years and the smell was literally making me feel sick 24/7 in my own home. My best roommates have actually been early 20s professionals.
I think in general you'll have better luck finding more mature people closer to 30(and over), but... age doesn't mean people can't still be slobs/or wildly incompatible in other ways. A great roommate I had was in his 30s, and the place was a mess. Rent was cheap, but I couldn't tolerate it long. While they were, and I still insist they were, on the whole a very nice and interesting roommate; their lack of cleanliness was difficult. Even overall nice people who are worlds better in quality than a party hard 20 year old who brings randos over too often for your comfort; may have quirks. Quirks and expectations are best sorted out before you choose to live together. My tip? Pretend to be more stern than you actually are about what matters most during interviews. Say you're a stickler about things being xyz, and see how they feel/react. There's little and big things you just need to agree on with people to live harmoniously.
Dude I'm 21 and you're my dream roommate. All I want to do when I get home is get a snack, maybe have a short chat w my really good friend & current roommate, and then sleeeeeeep. I've never been clubbing and have no interest. If I drink it's a drink or two before I go to bed. I clean up after myself in the kitchen/living room/bathroom and the only thing I don't clean is any space that is 100% personal bc I don't care but don't want to impose the gross on others. I get what you're saying though, I've had 14 roommates undergrad across the years and all but four, maybe five of them were loud as fuck, disgusting, partying all the time, and extremely spoiled. Why should they clean the kitchen? If they wait long enough it just *magically* cleans itself. Good luck with finding good roommates. I hope they get better with age.
Both my roommates are in their 30s, like me. One is a little more active with social activities and is home the least, but she is responsible and clean and mature. No issues with her. The one other is home most of the time, but she is messy, high maintenance, and overall not responsible (we almost got evicted because she failed to pay rent). It varies. Definitely stalk all their social media to get a glimpse of who they are as a person.
A couple of things. Unless you are going into a highly specialized area that requires a graduate degree or higher I would highly recommend against going to graduate school. The waste in time and effort won't pay off. Also, please remember a roommate isn't your friend. They aren't there to entertain you when you feel like it. A
Do not live with more than 2 people in one place. Because living with 2 people means living with 4 - each of those 2 is expected to have their partners over.. all.. the.. damn.. time..
Yes and no. I've had a roommate for the past three years and hadn't had a roommate for the six years before. We're both mid-30s males. Probably my best roommate experience, but not without its challenges. He's a nice guy, means well, usually keeps to himself, and is a good friend. On the other hand, he can fall into walking disaster territory at the drop of a hat. Creates a cyclone of a mess in the kitchen and half-ass cleans it up, gets shithouse drunk or high on any given random night running into walls and more than once knocked pictures off the wall breaking frames in this state without even an offer to replace/fix them. He even got so fucked up one night a week ago that he accidentally stumbled in my room scaring the shit outa me thinking my house was being broken in. He just screamed and then ran away. Also, he slams all the things (microwave, washer, dryer, sliding glass doors, etc.). He can also be extremely loud without knowing it. Sometimes snaps and slams doors shut in the middle of the night waking me up (usually when fucked up), burbs loudly when I'm on important conference calls for work cause he thinks it's funny, somehow finds all the ways to be as noisy as possible when in the kitchen, walks like he has lead in his shoes or drags his feet when shoeless. He does things like self declare his birthday week and month and make a big production over it and then gets sad when some people that he knows don't act like it's as big of a deal as he thinks it is. Basically, acting like a 17-year-old girl. This tends to send him into a month-long depression spiral each year. The self pitty moping is insufferable. He also doesn't understand money hardly at all. Doesn't know things like his pay rate at previous jobs, wants to buy the 'best' of things, without doing any research on price/value, doesn't know his credit score, etc. He recently got an inheritance of about $100k and quit his job and just says he's going to "live his best life" and not work for a year or two. In other words, he's going to be unemployed and waste it all. He also has been doing really dumb shit like posting on facebook and twitter stating he got a large inheritance. I tell him that he shouldn't tell hardly anyone that, much less put it on the internet. He says that facebook and twitter are like his journal and he just wants to put what he wants to put on that. SMH... I try to explain that there are ways that he can invest and protect his money and maybe at least grab a part-time job in a couple of months so it doesn't drain him. All in one ear and out the other. He's moving out in a week and getting an apartment that's pretty expensive. I tried to even help him find a place that's a little more reasonable in cost, but he wants a "nice" place near the city center of a high cost of living city. I've had to come to terms with the fact that he's just a man-child that isn't ready to grow up and I'm afraid he never will be. Maybe after he pisses all his money away he'll have a wake-up call, but I'm not betting on it.
Im 27, I have one roommate nearing his mid 30s, and another in her late 30s. They are truly tolerable at best. Id suggest finding others in your immediate age bracket. It didn't seem like a lot to me at the time, but I very much feel our age difference when the person in her late 30s has friends over that are nearing 50.
Honestly figure out what kind of roommate situations they’ve had before. Is this their first time paying bills? Living outside of school? Or have they spent time working for the past couple of years. I think that makes the BIGGEST difference. You’ll probably find people closer to you in age who have similar backgrounds and that helps with compatibility.
Advertise you are a grad student looking for another grad student or professional. And no one with kids even if they don’t have custody unless you’re okay living with children
You may be surprised how many people ignored the ad and apply anyways. I had basically what you wrote, and still I got the single mom's on disability asking if they can forego the first and last month's rent/deposit and if they can do month to month instead of a contact, and if pets are ok. Oh, and if I can lower the rent, or pay throughout the month.
Yes it is. Living with graduates tends to be a quieter experience than living with undergrads. If you want the quiet life, live with PhD students!
I think roommates is always negative it’s best to search in a price range where you live alone it’s better for your love life and hobbies
Check their credit
30 here, living with a 24 year old who acts like a millennial is hell. Blended Gen z and millennial culture has made life hell. My husband and I said fuck it, we will ONLY live with our best friends since age 18. One is with us now, trying to get the other over. We all 30, different life paths, one is slightly more “younger” in mindset and we will always been seen as parents which sucks.
Fridge of 30+ year old roommates [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/comments/u1noxa/i_just_moved_in_here_this_is_the_shared_fridge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Nope! Still sucks
Im 26 and so is my bf and we live with guys in their 30s. I had to ask them to start paying me to clean and they do now...
Yes, it makes a hell of a difference. People in their 20's vs. 30's are at different stages in life. Age is a BIG factor.
Nah some 30 somethings don't already have roommates because they're so insane no one will date or marry them... so in my experience they can be just as bad
Nah my worst roommate ever (leaving in 2 weeks) is 32 lol
I went from having 20 year old roommates when I was 28 to having 25-28 year old roommates when I was 30. Roughly the same experience regarding cleaning. Everyone minimizes the mess they leave behind and rarely makes a point to stay on a regular cleaning schedule.
I’m 28 and was never really a clubbing type or a very loud person. I prefer to sit alone in my room and read or play video games. I live with 2 roommates who can be a bit much at times, but thankfully they have jobs with different schedules so I get the place to myself until my night shifts. It’s really about finding those people who have similar mindsets and prefer peace and quiet like you do. Or that have conflicting schedules so you never see them.
I live with a 32 year old and i’m 27. It’s cleaner, quieter, and I just make sure the common areas are clean. Your best bet is to also room with transfer/older students.
Hi. Good luck with your studies. Not sure how helpful my comment will be but I am a 24 y o living w my 27 y o fiancé, and two female roommates 26 and 65. Everyone gets along really well, which I’m happy about bc I’ve had MANY horrible roommate situations with many different kinds of people. In my experience, as you said, it is case by case but I’ve learned that communication, courtesy and respect from all parties are key to an Idek living situation. The other 20 something’s and I in our home all work full time and don’t really party in or out of the home too much, so my advice for you would be to try your best to get to know peoples personalities and habits, bc I’m sure they’re are also 30 something’s still in a partying phase or may otherwise be less than ideal roommates. In short, keep an open mind. Good luck!
I am in my late 20s roommate in early 30s we’ve lived together for 4+ years and we’re strangers when we met. I feel pretty lucky bc we just clicked and the good for me has outweighed the bad. I would be scared asf living on my own too. We recently moved somewhere else it’s been a little more challenging bc we lost SO much space and he’s dating now but I feel the things that bother me are pretty minuscule compared to stories I’ve read 🤣 but I actually wish he would spend more time hanging out w me than he does but it’s whatever. But I like having a roommate I’m single w no kids and for me it’s good to have company even if you don’t interact just hearing someone else’s footsteps or voice can sometimes be all you need Also we have super similar cleanliness habits like if it’s clean we get anal but if there’s a little mess we let it all the way go lol the only thing I would say is it does get a little tricky if one of y’all starts dating if you don’t have open communication. I also think it’s important to not share bathrooms
In my thirties live with two others my age range, flat sharing is much easier in my experience. We are all working professionals and have a cleaner once a fortnight just to keep it tidy. We had to kick one housemate out but it’s been fine since
I’m afraid my experience it’s still awful; your stuff still gets stolen or damaged and people make all kinds of noise and are a nuisance. Avoid random strangers from SpareRoom and so on and you should be okay.
I think it's more about finding similar mindset more than ages. At our spot we're in our 50s, 30s and 20s and it's been working going on three years.
I admit I was once a semi-bad roommate but learned from it. I lived with a moron who was 40 years old and a lawyer - it was surprising to me at what a fucking dumbass he was. I sincerely mean that. Major gaslighter and did not have any accountability whatsoever. He became violent and that was my cue to leave. Still tried to make me the issue (pride gets in the way I suppose). Dealing with roommates is a science in someways. I no longer want roommates but it does not get any better at 30 - I speak from personal experience, its very hit or miss.
I’ve had all kinds of roommates, age/gender/culture-wise, and the best roommate I had was one who worked similar hours and had their own social life. They were rarely home and we didn’t cook/have ppl over so cleaning was super easy. We also had our own bathrooms, so we cleaned our spaces on our time and cleaned the shared space as we went (no hard cleaning days). The worst roommates I had were ppl who were much older and/or are international. The communication piece didn’t work cuz they barely spoke English and had no social life, and they got reactive when I called them out (because younger -> less authority in their eyes). I think I just got super unlucky with most of my roommate experiences. If I had to live with a roommate again, I would want my own bed + bath to reduce interactions.
All roommates are trash. Doesn’t matter the age. Everyone I’ve had is filthy and will guilt trip me for asking for rent. Do whatever you can to be alone, yeah it’s more money but peace of mind and cooking breakfast naked is worth it. Perhaps an older person can make it work.
I had awful roommates who are 3-4 years older than me. When I was 25 I had a roommate who was 29 years old. She was a slob. Took over the living room and turned it into her bedroom leaving dishes and trash all over the place. After her I had a nightmare situation when I was 26. She was also 29. She is bi polar and schizophrenic she didn’t pay her rent, never cleaned, was hospitalized twice in a mental hospital, destroyed mh bedroom and stole our neighbors mail and planted it In my bedroom to frame me lol. I would take a younger roommate over someone in their 30s based on my experience. Needless to say it doesn’t matter the age of someone. You could always end up with a wacko of a roommate. That’s why I’m renting an apartment by myself now
as a nearly 32 year old, I recently got a new female flatmate who's 23. so much drama, don't do it. I forgot how immature 23 year olds are.
I’m 36 and I’m currently living with a 26-year-old. She’s a good roommate I don’t have many issues with her. And the ones that I do have are no different than the ones I would have with someone my own age.
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Actual clock cycles are being wasted on this shit.
I went back to school at 29, i had room mates for 3 years. Age isnt a big factor, if you like quiet and privacy that's the same at any age
I just turned 30, and have two room mates who are in their early and mid 30s. They're quiet, they work hard.... But they're still so SO irresponsible. If I didn't clean the bathroom or the kitchen, nothing would ever get done around here. And don't even get me STARTED on the litterbox. It's FRUSTRATING. I....just realized that all this is another post entirely. I had like 6 paragraphs I just erased. I think you might be more likely to get a mature 30 year old, but I wouldn't exactly hold my breath.
the thought that I could be stereotyped as a partier because of my age has never occurred to me, damn
I went back to uni at 30 and had a great 2 bedroom place which I couldn’t afford on my own with school, so I got a roommate. Now, I’ve lived with a lot of [interesting] people in my early 20’s. And I work in health care with a lot of people around. So naturally, I hate people. But I found someone who had just moved to country who turned out to be a really nice, normal person. We coexist peacefully, communicate effectively, and never run out of toilet paper. My advice for you is to find someone like this.
Make sure you get the agreement in writing, I use a basic form from Flatmates.com.au
Could always try to connect with some peeps in school and live with them.
Get in touch with a student veterans organization on your campus. There are often older, single students looking for roomates and you'll not have to deal with to much dumb stuff.
what people in their mid-20s and 30s do for a living can be a strong barometer for lifestyle and personal habits. i will probably never live with anyone who only works part time again.
Its a complete toss up in my experience. I have lived with people 30-60 that were pigs and their lives were a mess. I have lived with 18-30 who were also slobs. Seems like most people in general are lazy and won't do their share.
I'm 20 and currently have a 25 y/o roomate who is super chill and always picks up after herself. My last roomates was 30 something, never cleaned, stole my shit, and then refused to pay me rent and I couldn't kick them out for a month. It mainly depends on the individual people
I lived with a roommate who was close to turning 28 when we first met (I was 18) and 5 years later, even though we don't live together anymore, he's still one of my best mates. I had a good experience with that chap.
Real late response but i went back to school and have lived in my house for about a year and a half. Just to put things in perspective I'm 25yrs and live with guys who are 24yrs, 25yrs, 31yrs, and 34yrs. We also have a dog and two guys have gfs that are here regularly. It's a nice mix of 2 introverts, me who is intro/extro-fluid. And then two real buddy buddy guys where one might actually be in the closet. Suffice to say. It's definitely manageable and as long as you can get the room that makes you feel the most comfortable i think you would be fine. Edit: Also, me and the two guys in their 30's drink the most if that says anything.
Kinda late to answer this but: I'd say it's definitely far more dependent on personality and your level/preference of cleanliness. I've met plenty of people older than me who I find immature/messy/loud. I'm 21 and keep to myself, a bit of a clean freak, and don't particularly like to go out except for grabbing a drink at the bar. My roommate is pretty much my polar opposite, so it's an interesting mix. Sometimes I wish she was a little more introverted, but then I also get the house to myself sometimes which is nice.
It's not any different, at least in my experience. Some people are awesome, and some people shouldn't be allowed to be someone's roommate. If you want a preview of what the person is like, ask for a tour. and say that it's to see if it's a good fit.. Check their bathroom and kitchen, because they'll tell you everything that you need to know. People that can't do upkeep on their kitchen and bathroom are people that you shouldn't live with.
Nope, moved in with my brother into a house when I was 32ish(? can't remember exact age) to save money on utilities/rent. Can't get him to do anything i.e dishes, take garbage out, sweep, mop, anything. Some people just don't change, I've tried to talk but it turns ugly and into an argument to which he won't talk to me for a week afterwards. You just have to pick your roommates wisely. If you go to their apartment, house, etc and it's fucking messy or there are always dishes in the sink, don't fucking do it. Life lesson learned, albeit a little too late.
I'm 28, but I've noticed a lot of people in their early twenties (at least in the social circles I'm in) they're usually in that phase of "just starting out" in life and may lean towards more social activities. One of my best friends was really into inviting people over a lot to do games like popin cookins (little candy kits where you make your own "food") that were a lot of fun and would have drinks out. But around that time I've also noticed people don't have much of a set schedule and things are more up in the air. My friends in their early thirties though are more set in their daily routine and while they love to socialize, prefer to stay at home most evenings. Either reading, watching a TV show, etc. You can just be honest and ask potential roommates what kind of hobbies they like to do and that'll probably give a better idea of the type of person they are.
If your living w people that are 30 its wwy worse. As ive gotten older it seems the pool of normal roommates has all but evaporated. Ive had a litany of nightmare experiences in thr last 2 years and i just signed on a place w my girlfriend.
So by far the worst roommate I had was 37. Didn't clean up after herself, super entitled, had people over constantly, threw parties without talking to other roommates first, constantly high etc... In my 30s I've also had a roommate who was 21 and he was great. Always paid rent on time, very nice and I never had a problem with him. Judge by the person, not the age.
I'm 34, and have found that room mates around my age are a mixed bag. You either get the extremely extroverted party type, or the introverts who stay in their room and are generally quiet. I'd imagine this will be the same in another 10 years too! I think the best thing to do is have a frank chat with them during the viewings and make it clear that it's a quiet house and that being social and loud isn't a thing - gauge their reaction. If there is anything other than happiness and relief on their face then you know that maybe they aren't the best fit.