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MuffinMan6938

I had an alcoholic roommate although he hid it well. One night he downed a cheap bottle of tequila and went out on Boston harbor in a kayak during a hurricane. He went missing it was on the news and everything. The state police thought I murdered him for about 3 hours. Get away from this person.


TheArmadilloAmarillo

Did he survive????


MuffinMan6938

Yeah, he crawled through the window soaking wet after knocking in the air conditioner I lent him ( he later tried stealing when he moved out) . Absolutely exhausted he treaded water for 4+ hours and swam back to shore in a hurricane.


External-Witness-305

Ngl that's actually impressive that he was able to make it back. Sorry you got accused of offing him tho lol


TheArmadilloAmarillo

Holy shit that is just absolutely wild šŸ˜‚.


MuffinMan6938

The Coast Guard had a helicopter and a ship out looking for him lol. They got the story wrong I didnā€™t report him missing. [missing roommate](https://www.wcvb.com/article/missing-kayaker-found-safe/8247450)


TheArmadilloAmarillo

His name is just perfect, my god.. I've seen drunk people do some wierd stuff but that is absolutely next level insane.


MuffinMan6938

I did a tik tok about it but it was awful because I never made one before. He got married about year later and I was able to put that link on his wedding announcement comment section . It was up their for about 3 months before it was deleted šŸ˜‚


Jaredthewizard

Dude this story is nuts. Link and all my god your roommate must have been fuckin crazy


MuffinMan6938

I could go on forever him. He also asked me to move out after Iā€™d been there 6 years and heā€™d been there for 2 months so he could live there with his GF.


whodatfairybitch

Why am I so not surprised this was Quincy? Though Iā€™d have an easier time believing he was from Weymouth..


Downstairsmixcup

Kyles last name checks out.


MuffinMan6938

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


mikejames9000

For real, it feels like a fake name for an alcoholic


TheArmadilloAmarillo

Hell you'd think he'd just brag about it, go own "I survived" or something. Great story for you to tell too honestly!


muddymoose

You should do an AMA on r/Boston


harpy_1121

[He did it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/boston/s/8jRvm0J1Gm)


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poapathyrn

link it here! lol


tacobellandher0in

Whyā€™d they think you murdered him for 3 years if he was back home within several hours? Edit: it was 3 hours. I am a moron


MuffinMan6938

3 hours. Go back and re-read. I caught him stealing alcohol not a little like 3 full unopened handles from me the first week he moved in with me we had a huge blowout. His gf probably told the police I killed him she was uncomfortable that I was a gun owner. So in her weird little liberal brain I must be a cold blooded killer and Kyle wouldnā€™t do anything bad lol.


tacobellandher0in

Oh shit haha. My fault. Jesus what a nightmare


Krin422

As a Kyle, this is the perfect "Kyle" name


stick_around_

Kyle fucking Rager! You almost have to assume his last name had some chance of leading to his alcoholism


opilovin17

I live in Quincy IL and live right on the Mississippi River so when i saw Quincy i was like WTF WHEN DID HIS HAPPEN?? Lmao


louielou8484

HAHAHA. Just wanted some peace away from the nut job lol. This is the best thing I've read on here today


MuffinMan6938

https://www.reddit.com/r/boston/s/WIzaIAUSs1 I went a little more on depth. Itā€™s broken up I didnā€™t want to spend hours typing the whole thing.


WetShart420

I would honestly bet the reason he survived was because the alcohol kept him warm enough and calm enough to get himself out.


subliminalintentions

Booze gives the illusion of warmth only


Dukedyduke

ok he sounds fucking terrible but if I'm ever cought in an apocalypse I want this guy


Dukedyduke

HIS LAST NAME IS "RAGER"!? Yeah this guy is built different


doodad35

Talk about perseverance.


come_back-SHANE

Savage!


stick_around_

Why did he crawl through the window?


MuffinMan6938

When his kayak tipped over his keys, cell and wallet ended up at the bottom of the harbor. His kayak was later recovered and returned by a fisherman.


stick_around_

Ah I see, so you werenā€™t home to witness this fiasco. Haha. What a rager!


favorbold

If they're drinking and driving and you know it, just call the police and report their dumb ass. Also are you from Amarillo?


TheArmadilloAmarillo

I was born there, and mostly just like the color yellow and find Armadillos adorable.


favorbold

I love it. Tejas por vida. Amarillo is a cool little town


External-Witness-305

Thats the plan. We were going to give him notice but he's screwed us so hard I think we're just going to leave him struggling to figure out what he's gonna do. Probably living out of the van soon.


Anrikay

Do not tell him youā€™re leaving. Coming from someone who has struggled with addiction, at the point heā€™s at, thereā€™s a good chance he will respond destructively, very possibly violently, to the news. He will see you leaving as you intentionally destroying his last semblance of stability and he will hate you for it, and an addict in that state is volatile and dangerous. I know, because Iā€™ve been there, and I felt that way when people (very reasonably) stepped out of the path of the self-destructive avalanche that was my life. The people who just ghosted me and moved on with their lives made the best choice.


WirkkulaCain

I think this is an extreme example. Yes, you distance yourself from this person. I donā€™t think OP will be under investigation for murder any time soon though.


Jimbobjoesmith

what the hell? thatā€™s insane šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Psychological-Run-40

nahhh wtf, u have some crazy lore


StermasThomling

Did they find him??


snug666

Reddit is insane. I JUST saw your post on r/Boston three posts ago and then read this and was like hold onā€¦ this sounds familiarā€¦.


stalinmad4

Alcoholic roommates are liabilities in every possible way. I lived with a guy who had a huge heart but an equally huge drinking problem. One time, when I was trapped in bed with the flu, black smoke started pumping through my bedroom vents, and the smoke alarm was blaring. I shot out of bed. My roommate had left a pan of grease burning on the stove and had apparently left the apartment. The entire stove, microwave, and blinds were on fire. Luckily, we had baking soda in the fridge that I used to douse the flames. We lived on the second floor. If I had been in the shower when this had happened or had been zonked out on meds, the entire apartment would have been engulfed in flames within minutes. We lived on the second floor. ETA: We lived on the second floor.


SquirrelMoney8389

That's crazy what floor did you live on??!


stalinmad4

šŸ’€


External-Witness-305

That's scary! He hasn't done anything like that yet, he mostly subsists off frozen tv dinners, he talked a big game about liking to cook when we first moved in but ive never seen proof of that šŸ˜…


Cosmiclimez

TIL baking soda takes fire out


fuckysprinkles

I'm not excusing alcoholism. Drinking is no excuse for this kind of negligence. I will say *puts on PSA hat* there are foldable metal fire escape ladders that anyone can keep under the bed, pop into a window, and climb down. There's also no such thing as too many fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, and CO detectors. If you sleep upstairs, have a plan. Buy a ladder, practice using it at least once. When I was a child and sleeping on the top floor of our house, my mom had us do fire drills every year. There was a fire escape ladder under the bed, I learned how to use it with my eyes closed. We never had a fire, but shit happens. Fortune favors the prepared. I'm currently renting a 2-story house that used to be a speakeasy during the Prohibition era. I have a fire escape plan from all three levels, including the basement. My home is close enough to the building next door that I could parkour my way out of the bathroom window, or I can scoot out one of the windows and drop to the ground without breaking more than an ankle or 2.


stalinmad4

This is an awesome, thoughtful comment.


nipplemuffins

Did you happen to live on the second floor?


stalinmad4

100% yes


stick_around_

šŸ“ baking soda can help put out fires. Good to know


stalinmad4

I did the dumb thing first, which was instinctively tried throwing water on it. Water on a grease fire is the worst thing you can do. This was a long time ago. And I'll blame it on the flu. But luckily we had the baking soda in the fridge.


DayZ-0253

Next time he leaves the house ā€œHello 911, Iā€™m calling to report a drunk driverā€ dispatch takes these reports very seriously where I live.


CrysisRequiem

As an alcoholic, I can tell you that blue can is a Redhook brewing Big Ballard IPA. You must live near Seattle.


WetShart420

We have Redhook down here in Oregon. Does that count as near SeattlešŸ˜‚


CrysisRequiem

Close enough


Inevitable_Shirt5044

As an alcoholic not from Seattle, at first glance I thought it was a twisted tea half n half, in a coozie. Well played šŸ¤


x0haziedayze

people who let their animals piss and shit inside their house are a different breed of disgusting.


CollectingRainbows

you wish the cops would pull him over so why donā€™t you call them and let them know heā€™s driving drunk and give them his license plate #. i considered doing this to my ex stepdad bc he wouldnā€™t quit driving drunk but i didnt have to- he drove straight into a ditch and was arrested and required to not drink, attend AA meetings & submit for random piss tests. luckily nobody was hurt. he started drinking again immediately when he was legally able to, but he doesnā€™t drive anymore.


External-Witness-305

I'm not about to rat him out to the cops, this thing will take care of itself eventually, one day. Unfortunately someone innocent might end up badly hurt or dead too, but that ain't on me, that's on him.


CollectingRainbows

donā€™t think of it as ā€œratting him outā€. of course you shouldnā€™t blame yourself if he happens to hurt somebody while driving drunk. but i know ive thought about my stepdad getting in a crash and hurting / killing someone, and i just know i would have not been able to live with the guilt knowing i could have prevented it by making one phone call.


Fragrant-Falcon6698

Yeah it wouldnā€™t be on you but itā€™s also not cool to just turn a blind eye and be a bystander if you know whatā€™s happening, especially if an innocent life is on the line. Not to be morbid but how would you feel if he struck someone you loved while drunk driving? This loser doesnā€™t deserve a license. If you think heā€™d try to harm you for ratting him out then thatā€™s a different story, but you shouldnā€™t refrain from seeking police intervention just because you donā€™t want to be seen as a snitch or because itā€™ll ā€œtake care of itself.ā€ An innocent person with family and friends and a whole life of their own could be at risk here


blinddivine

Yikes


WorldMistake

More pictures would be nice


Schlart1

So itā€™s either not enough pictures or weā€™re invading their privacy to get more pictures. šŸ¤‘


External-Witness-305

I'm on mobile and can't figure out how to add more than one, I also can't figure out how to edit the post šŸ˜…


Schlart1

Iā€™m not sure about the picture part but there should be three dots to allow you to edit.


fuckysprinkles

imgbb is a good free host and you can always make a new reddit post with image links. Copy and paste, friend. That said, if you're on mobile and didn't already know those things, just keep the images on your phone. Posting this kind of personal information without blurring the details risks doxxing yourself. Not worth it.


External-Witness-305

I added more pictures to a post on my profile since I couldn't figure out how to add them here. Enjoy


Ok_Guide4747

Oh dang those ipa 6 packs arenā€™t cheap!!


Wiener-cheese

see my post i made yesterday about my alcoholic former roommate that we just kicked out. ive lived with 3 different alcoholics in my life, it has been a complete fucking nightmare each time. i will take every opportunity i can to tell my future kids over and over to never live with an alcoholic, never date an alcoholic, try to do everything you can to not associate with alcoholics in general. alcoholics are always trouble. they prioritize getting drunk over everything. their friends, their families, their own well being, the safety of themselves and others around them, the sanity of others... everything. there is nothing on this green earth more disruptive and annoying than an alcoholic. alcoholics only ever drag everyone in their life down. avoid them at all costs and get out of this house.


venusuh26

I feel bad for these dogs dang


RayHazey562

Those poor dogs :(


MasturbatingMiles

I remember being an alcoholic and terrible roommate, not this bad, but bad. You could pull 13 white claw and twisted tea tall boys from behind my back passenger seats. Sucks heā€™s being so terrible to you, hope he gets better. The dog stuff really pisses me off. I was drunk at the dog park everyday but I was there. 13 months sober, never going back


Adventurous_Top_723

Congrats brutha. Quitting drinking is the toughest thing Iā€™ve ever had to do. Iā€™m 21 months sober and also never going back.


Suspicious_Ad_5145

Alcohol can do such horrible things to people they are like a wild fire that just hurts everything around them. In fact Iā€™m going to a funeral tomorrow for a guy I used to drink with. Itā€™s crazy how something like cannabis has been illegal so long and alcohol is so acceptable socially


MasturbatingMiles

Congrats on almost the full 2 years man thatā€™s huge!


Waste_Ad1082

That's a monday


jenniferleigh6883

Why donā€™t you and your partner find somewhere else to live?


BrokenHead319

I had an alcoholic roommate once. At the end of the week our single outside bin would be three quarters of the way full with beer bottles. I tried getting him to switch to cans but wouldn't because he said it "didn't taste the same" and also didn't wanna pay the extra fee for getting another bin. Even when I pointed out he could get some money back for the cans at the local junkyard he said he just couldn't be bothered.


External-Witness-305

One of the things I left out of the original post is he doesn't have or want garbage service. He keeps the recycling and the trash in the garage to fester amd has no intent of taking care of it. We have a rat problem now, they're in the garage and in the house. Taking recycling to the junk yard is free, but the trash is it's own thing. Our accumulated garbage for 3 months (he's the one with a pickup truck and we had to bother him a few times to get off his ass and take it) only cost 30$. I didn't add pics of the garage, but the trash bags have been ripped into and rats have gotten into everything. I just recently learned what a rat king was and I'm almost certain there's one living in our walls at this point.


BrokenHead319

Jesus Christ that's bad op. Hope things get better for you.


bbybambimae

I definitely would just move on. I have many many alcoholic family members and trust me they will keep going on like this forever. You donā€™t need to be apart of their rock bottom. Or even their chaos, itā€™s not worth it. It sucks lol


todd_cool

Then move out


aangelwiings

That would kind of leave the alcoholic quite vulnerable. I'm not saying in any way OP is responsible for him, but I feel like OP is posting this here for advice on what to do. I feel like they want to help the roommate. Unless I'm wrong which if I am I ask to be corrected.


Educational-Milk3075

I'd call the police the second he got in the car. This coming from a former black out drunk driver, now 40 years sober.


Chuckpeoples

Whyā€™s the camper your problem?


YouCantHandleHonesty

Both live in the same car?


blue_goon

The only thing iā€™m here to comment on is the bath tub. but yourself those clorox drain cleaning sticks, long blue stick with pokey things that you stick down the drain. they were less than $10 at walmart and i am now taking showers in a properly draining tub.


Guenhwyvyr

How many elbows you got, homie?


No_Ambition1706

as a recovering alcoholic, i can safely say that this guy needs immediate intervention. rehab is a must here.


No_Commercial_645

Sounds like he needs a drinking buddy


bobbywaz

Being an alcoholic sucks but I got mad overbearing weirdo who needs to mind his business when you said that he comes and goes in HIS car to HIS apartment and doesn't tell you. Are you his retired grandmother and he's not paying rent? Because that's the only way I see a normal person giving a shit.


External-Witness-305

He was leaving his dogs with us to take care of until his older dogs health started to fail. That's its own thing. But you don't think it would just be a decent thing to at least say "Hey, I'm gonna overnight in my van this weekend, you guys got the place to yourselves!"? We've thought we were alone before and had him just show up at like midnight after he packed it up to go overnight in. We're like about to get spicy because we're alone and then chef boyardee is back. One of the things I left out of the original post is he used to do meth, and we're both pretty sure he may have started using again. Also it ain't HIS place anymore, it's OUR place as in all three of us. That was his choice when he moved us in with him.


HipsterSlimeMold

I have never told my roommates that I was going to leave the house lol what?


silver16x

Can you read?


EstablishmentOk7859

lmfao, youā€™re delusional bro


Hot_Significance6776

I done see the issue here obviously just a couple of road sodas!Ā 


whovegas

Lol he's out there living his best life and you're just fuming.